Coffee Break: Isabel Pump

Johnston Murphy Isabel PumpThis Johnston & Murphy pump looks great — particularly given that simple brown pumps can be so hard to find. I like the asymmetrical instep, and the classic 3″ heel. They’re available in brown, black, and leopard for $228-$248 at Zappos and Nordstrom. Johnston & Murphy Isabel Pump

Update: Nordstrom has the brown and black for $198.

Here’s a similar but more affordable pump; here’s another brown pump.



  1. Anonymous :

    Well he’s obviously not THAT nice. Quid pro quo is my deal

    • Anonymous :

      Gave me a new perspective on the line, “Quid pro quo, Clarice, quid pro quo.”

  2. Gail the Goldfish :

    I need some new luggage for work trips. I’m looking for a small overnight carry-on sized bag with wheels that will fit in overhead bins even on the little regional jets–so something slightly larger than a briefcase-on-wheels but smaller than the standard carry-on sized suitcase. Currently I have just a tote bag that looks kind of like the le pliage, but lugging around a bag+laptop bag is getting too heavy, so I’m looking for something I can wheel around and stick the laptop bag on top of. Ideally it’d be under $200, but if you tell me expensive luggage is the way to go, I’ll reconsider. I fly usually once a week for work, so it needs to be durable.

    • I got this one recently – it actually fits under the seat in most planes:
      It’s small but perfect for short trips. Also has a laptop sleeve if you don’t want to carry the separate laptop bag.

    • Anonymous :

      I travel every week for work on those little planes. As long as its two and two seats (and not the teeny tiny 2 and one), my little Samsonite fits. Everyone always thinks it wont, but it does. ill find the link

      • Anonymous :

        I think this is the newer version of it. I use the ebags version of packing cubes and can pack for an entire week in this.

    • Gail the Goldfish :


  3. You deal with him by dumping him.

    • Totally agree here. This is a selfish or immature guy who doesn’t understand that this is necessary for most women to get ready for the main event and/or to achieve an *rgasm. It’s also a dude who isn’t considering the message he’s sending you (“icky, gross!”) by not doing this for you. IMHO, this sort of attitude means he’s not going to be a giver in other aspects of your relationship, either.

      I’d put it out there for him that this is a dealbreaker. But honestly, s*x is so much better with guys who eagerly want to do this for you–why waste time on someone who complains about this/won’t do it?

      • Anon for this :

        Just out of curiosity, do you feel the same way about women who don’t like doing that act to men? I get this is a “he wants it but won’t give it” question but I have a few friends that refuse to give the act to men. Don’t know if they expect it in return. I have no dog in the fight because I’m happy to give and receive but just curious if you think women who won’t go down are selfish and immature too.

      • Anonymous :

        I don’t agree. I think what makes this dude a loser is that he wants to receive but not give. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not enjoying that act and not especially wanting to do it, if you’re not demanding it in return. That applies to guys and girls.

        • Anonymous :

          +1. As long as both partners are happy with the arrangement, no issue of immaturity. You like what you like.

          Here, there is a mismatch in the give/take and at least one partner is unhappy with the arrangement and the other one…doesn’t care? I don’t know that I’d call that immaturity, but it’s definitely not a good match.

  4. Dump him.

  5. Anonymous :

    Set him up with your friend Ellen.

  6. I really like this one for work overnights:
    I like that there’s a laptop compartment, a second one that’s good for files, etc., and then a separate (small, good for one night) clothes compartment. If I’m traveling for a few days, I’ll take a separate Pliage tote for some extra clothes, since that keeps it light.

  7. Veronica Mars :

    Do you volunteer? If so, what organizations do you contribute to and what do you do? One of my coworkers goes to the Humane Society and volunteers as a “socializer” helping anxious and scared dogs. She apparently sits in a room and pets them. I’ve been looking into the Ronald McDonald House Charities and wanted to see what everyone else enjoys doing.

    • I do pro bono work in family court.

    • I don’t right now, but something I’ve considered is volunteering with the assisted living facility near my house. My grandparents were in one for awhile, and although it’s a step up from a nursing home socially, the residents loved having visitors.

    • Meant to add that my friend fosters kittens for the Humane Society. They’re always so adorable.

    • I volunteer with the local chapter of the ALS Association. They match volunteers with individuals with ALS who might benefit from having a visitor or need help with some simple chores or tasks. I (and my sibling) started with a project helping a gentleman catalog his comic book collection (he did not have the mobility to manipulate a keyboard well anymore). I’ve now moved onto a weekly visit playing cards (30-45 min) with an older lady.

    • I volunteer at my local no-kill shelter as part of their petfinder team. There is a group of us assigned different days to cover. I do every other Sunday. I take note of who is already on the website. Then I take an inventory at the shelter. I get the info to add new animals (pictures and descriptions) and then I mark down everyone who was adopted to get them off the site. I also update pics and descriptions as animals settle in and become less scared.

    • I have volunteered on and off at a local humane society, but that doesn’t work with my current schedule and DH won’t let me foster. Something about the dog and two cats we already have. I don’t understand.

      I also do an early morning shift at a local homeless shelter once each month. It’s a shelter that rotates among churches each night of the week. I help with breakfast, put away the bins with the blankets & pillows, collect laundry and clean up. I’m there from about 5:30-7:15 and can still get to the office by 8:30.

    • Anonymous :


      I serve on two boards (national) related to reproductive rights/abortion access. I also raise money/awareness for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society by participating in Team in Training (training for triathlons and cycling events)

    • I knit. My MIL is part of several needlework groups that donate their work to several different charities. I give what I make to her and she passes them along with her group’s donations. These include hats, scarves, gloves for a teen shelter, blankets for a hospital (for relatives to snuggle under while waiting for a loved one to come out of surgery), and “angel” blankets and hats, for stillborn babies (I hate the cutesy name, but damn those are heartbreaking to make). I realize it’s not like going out and *doing* for people, but it works with my schedule because I do it when I’d be watching TV anyway.

      • I would love to do something like this! My friends and family are not thrilled about receiving yet another scarf or tote bag. I looked at a number of patterns online but they seem so involved.

        Do you have any favorite, mindless patterns for donating?

    • I volunteer weekly as a horse leader with a therapeutic riding program for special needs kids and adults. I’m not a horse person and I’d never worked with individuals with special needs before I started volunteering there, and it is literally the highlight of my week.

    • Want to plug Ronald McDonald House Charities – they do wonderful work, and I find volunteering to be meaningful and actually helpful to them.

    • Yes! I volunteer for Wills for Heroes and I also volunteer once a month to teach/run a seminar at the halfway house in my neighborhood for women re-entering the community from prison. I’ve also gotten on the mailing list for my local Girls on the Run, but haven’t been able to make it work with my schedule yet.

    • Nylon Girl :

      I’m in junior league and am a unit leader for my daughter’s American Heritage Girls. Scouts could be another good spot to be a volunteer at.

    • Pretty Primadonna :

      I volunteer with Junior League and my sorority in various ways, all related to helping women and children in my community.

    • I mainly volunteer for my local shelter, which is not a no-kill shelter, sadly. I run adoption events on Saturdays at local pet stores, transport dogs from the shelter to no-kill rescues when I can, donate supplies such as dog food and puppy pads when they are in need, and donate money to sponsor the fixing of individual dogs I think are very adoptable but might not have much luck getting adopted out of the shelter because of age or size. (If they are fixed, a no-kill rescue is much more likely to pull them out of the shelter.) I’ve fostered dogs twice but can’t do that in the immediate future, as my LEO husband is about to start working nights and his sleep has to take priority. Adding a fourth dog to our resident pack of three, and crate training new dogs, can certainly interrupt our sleep! The states north of us don’t have the overpopulation problem California does, and there are groups that organize taking busloads of pups north, so I donate to these when needed, and I also donate to local low-cost spay/neuter programs. Outside of the shelter work, I also have mentored a little sister with Big Brother Big Sisters for over 5 years, but don’t see her quite so much now that she is a teenager, with teenager activities and friends!

  8. First Year Anon :

    I think if you want him to, and he won’t, then you shouldn’t have to do it for him. If he is okay with that arrangement (sounds like he is not), then I don’t see how that is jerky.

    I need that to get off so I would have to dump if I ever wanted to have a good time in bed ever again.

  9. Anonymous :


    • I know! I wish I could gossip with someone at work about it but it is just so skeevy.

    • Yes! That news made me regret deleting a Facebook friend who was very openly anti- Caitlyn Jenner, but pro-Duggars. I desperately want to know if she still thinks the Duggars are just poor victimized Christians.

    • Senior Attorney :

      RIGHT? Ugh…

    • I can’t even be surprised by that news. I’m sure there will still be people defending his creepy self.

  10. Basically agree with all of the other comments, except if he’s otherwise wonderful and giving, perhaps you should make sure that it’s not just an issue of lack of confidence/experience/embarrassment on his part? Some guys get nervous about it, especially if they think that you are more experienced…he may worry that it won’t be good enough for you. If you’re pretty sure he knows what’s up and just doesn’t WANT to, I’d dump him, not really for being selfish but more for not really “getting” physical stuff generally, because a huge part of the whole thing is being excited about watching what the other person is experiencing and knowing that it’s because of you… I have never met a guy who was really good/into physical stuff who didn’t get something out of that. (Talking about this in a roundabout way to avoid moderation.)

    • Anonymous :

      Why in the world are we answering trolls now? Francine, Susan, and another one that I forget all post this weird stuff on here that gets through everytime even though I am in moderation h e double hockey sticks forever

  11. Car buying question :

    So after 6 years car free, I’m planning on buying a new car by the end of the year (I’ve never bought one before). My husband and I have decided on a new Subaru Outback. I was planning on spending September researching financing options, then contacting dealerships to find the right car/price.

    BUT we may now qualify for 1.49% financing through Subaru if we buy by the end of this month (I guess it is a good time of year to buy). At least, I’m thinking of seeing if we qualify, as I suspect that is a much better rate than we can get elsewhere. But I’d love guidance…I know usually the plan is to negotiate price, then negotiate financing (and go with previously researched financing outside the dealership if it is better). Here, it seems we’d qualify for financing…and I guess we would then just negotiate price? Seems like we would be at a bit of a disadvantage there. Any guidance/insight would be appreciated.

    • Don’t discuss financing vs cash until after the price is set. You want to be thinking about the whole cost of the car, not just the monthly payments anyway.

      1. Research financing options outside of the dealership.
      2. Negotiate price without saying if you are paying cash or financing.
      3. Discuss financing options with the dealership to see if better option than outside of the dealership.

    • This doesn’t answer your question (sorry), but I’m curious if you considered the Forester and, if so, why you ended up choosing the Outback — will be in a similar position shortly.

      • Veronica Mars :

        ADE, my parents both bought Subarus this year (my dad got the 2015 Outback and my mom the 2015 Forrester). Out of the two, the Outback is the shining star (better nav/backup camera system, overall handling). I can ask them more about the differences between the two–remind me on another thread and I’ll chime back in.

        • How do they compare with trunk space? And does the Outback look like a station wagon??

          • Veronica Mars :

            I think the only difference is that the Outback is a little bit longer than the Forrester. I’d check the website for trunk dimensions, but I’ll say that I think my dad’s Outback looks way sharper than the Forrester–the Forrester looks really short and boxy to me and the Outback is sleek.

      • When I bought about 5 years ago (right after the redesign), the Outback had more features than the Forrester, including CVT, which just makes it so nice to drive (now they all probably have that). I believe the Outback is a bit bigger now–older models the Forrester is bigger, but I think it’s different now–and the Outback is more SUV looking than the older models. I think it still looks more wagon-y than the Forrester (and I am fine with a wagon look). Outback is a bit pricier. I have been super happy with it and think it’s a great car, but I would def test drive both and see what you like, I don’t think you’d go wrong with any Subaru (yes, I’m that person).

    • Anonymous :

      I have a Subaru Forester that I bought last year. We had to do it in a bit of a rush for certain reasons. The financing was 0.9, but, at least for me, there was not much wiggle room on price. I learned somewhere that there are not all that many Subarus produced, and in their target markets (Northeast, mountains) they do n’t have a lot of extra inventory, so they don’t give deals too often. I don’t know if that’s true, but that was my experience.

      • AnonForThis :

        That is exactly it. Calling around and trying to pit dealers against each other makes you look like an ass if its a vehicle that’s in short supply. They have no incentive to give you a deal on an in demand car and the nice customer will be the one getting the vehicle not you for demanding discounts

    • Typically, the manufacturer, not the dealer, is the one offering special financing deals. If that’s the case, and there is more than one Subaru dealer near you, you can test drive at one dealer and see if you qualify for financing, then buy from another dealer without discussing financing. If the car is really in demand in your area, there may not be much wiggle room on price. But when we recently bought a car, the dealer where we test drove and initially qualified for financing brought us an offer for $4000 below MSRP (a decent price but ultimately more than we paid) if we financed with the dealer and $2000 OVER MSRP if we paid cash/got outside financing. That’s ridiculous, and we walked away and then bought from another dealer about an hour away. We did call around to find the best price (which the first, sketchy dealer wouldn’t give us over the phone), but our vehicle was not in high demand.

    • What I’ll say is consider just how low that interest rate is, and the trade off for convenience. We got quoted about .07% lower on an AAA rate versus the dealer rate. Ultimately, the difference was like $200 over the course of the loan term and unnoticeable on the monthly payments. We went with the higher dealership rate because it was just WAY more convenient for the one-stop shopping. Though, for our second car, a slightly larger loan, we went with the AAA because the impact was a bit bigger.

    • I don’t know if I’d rush just because of the interest rate, I think that is a rate Subaru usually offers throughout the year, a frequently repeated ‘limited time offer’. I purchased a 2015 Outback last October at that same rate. We also test drove both the Forester and the Outback. The Forester is significantly taller, but not as wide/long. We actually brought our biggest dog, our 80 pounder, to see how he fit, and he had plenty of head room and more sprawl room in the Outback. The Outback has a nicer ride, and was the clear choice for us. I did a lot of research and used one of those websites that give you a ‘no haggle’ offer from a bunch of dealerships to compare basic prices with prices actually paid by the dealerships, and didn’t find much difference in prices offered. I think the comments about short supply vehicles are correct, Subarus are a niche vehicle, and you aren’t likely to get the screaming deal you might by shopping around for a more common car… they know they will sell them. When I walked in with the price on hand I did haggle for some stuff, though, and had them throw in free rear seatback covers, for example. And my husband wanted the extended warranty but I didn’t, so after watching us debate it they sweetened the deal for that by giving it to us for half price, so that was nice.

      • Oops, read the OP’s post to quickly… we financed through Subaru at 1.9%, not 1.49%, so that interest rate is a little better. But its up to you if the .41% difference is enough to make you change your buying schedule. Although buying in the next three months should be a good time to get the best deal on a 2015, as the 2016s start arriving at the dealerships. I think 2015 was the big revamp year so I wouldn’t expect any big differences between 2015 and 2016 Outbacks. And did I mention I love my Outback?? :)

  12. Anonymous :

    Does anyone use a Pilates chair at home? Are there any DVDs or websites you would recommend to learn more exercises to do on it? For reference, I have a solid base using the chair at a studio, and would get the same model I’ve learned to use there, but the studio just doesn’t offer the chair classes enough for how much I love it. They also tend to repeat a lot of the same exercises and I know there is quite a bit more to it, so I’d like to learn some variety. I’ve looked at teacher training and it’s just not an option (though I’d love to do it if it could work).

  13. + 1000. Sometimes it’s better to receive FIRST, especially since men often burp and roll over after they come. Best to put him to work first, so that he has to earn that colossal BJ he so desires.

  14. Yummy!

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