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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Jae Sheath Dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Kobi Halperin dress for work | CorporetteKobi Halperin is a new brand to me, but I really like what I'm seeing. Their workwear pieces all look well made with subtle details (love the black braided details on the waist and bodice of this navy dress (pictured) or the on-trend yet traditional vibe of this merino cape sweater) — but in their more “statement” pieces you can see this dark romantic style that is really interesting. ‘Jae' Sleeveless Knit Faux Wrap Sheath Dress Update: Ooh: Saks has a number of the Kobi Halperin pieces on sale, including this dress, down to $243. If you prefer to buy at Nordstrom, give them a call and see if they'll price match for you. Looking for a more affordable option? This dress, this dress, or this dress are similar; this dress and this dress are beautiful navy options in plus sizes. Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

351 Comments

  1. Okay, guys, need help finding a nude lipstick. I am NW 10 at MAC, and everything is too dark with my pale skin.

    1. I’m bad at “true nude” lipsticks, but Mac Patisserie is my favorite “my lips but way better” shade. I also use Urban Decay Sheer Revolution in Liar for this purpose – I think the Revolution lipsticks have been discontinued and reformulated as Vice lipsticks, but they still have some Revolution tubes at Nordstrom Rack. I’m pretty pale as well – maybe an NC15, if I remember correctly?

    2. There’s a good shade by Hourglass that works for me (I’m pale, too). I can’t remember what it is, and I don’t have it with me, but I think I found it through a Lisa Eldridge video.

    5. Bobbi Brown regular lip color Sandwash Pink is darn near universal for us pale girls. I love it–but if it’s too dark, try ballet (ballerina?) pink in the nourishing lip color line.

    6. Go to Sephora and try the nude shades from Bite Beauty. I am a serious makeup addict and have been looking for a flattering nude lipstick for YEARS without success, but found 3 nude shades from Bite Beauty’s Amuse Bouche lipstick range that I love. The formula can’t be beat either.

    7. Thank you so much for posting this! I went on a lipstick bender recently, and after trying on lipsticks for an hour, Lorac’s Rose Brown looked perfect, but when I got home, I realized how dark it was on me.

    8. I have very pale skin and my go-to is MAC Cherish. I can’t wear pink because my skin is peachy and pink looks PINK on me.

  2. Hello!

    Any suggestions for ponte jackets under $50, preferably in colors other than black?

    I recently started working but I’ve realized that the ‘uniform’ that works best for me at my dressy business casual workplace is black top, black or dark patterned skirt, and a colored jacket. Right now I have white, cream, and red, as well as black jackets from pantsuits. Looking for blue or green basically.

    I prefer ponte because it fits better with my large chest and rest of my body. Although I just realized the white one that I wear a lot is 97% polyester and from H&M

    3. May sound silly but I have had a lot of luck with Ponte jackets at Chicos even though I don’t normally like their aesthetic.

    4. Check out the limited – the piped Madison blazer is 40 today and a ton of colors

  3. I am a pear and just cannot wear a traditional dvf wrap. The jewel is almost fit and flare, so I’m thinking I could get the top sized right and the bottom would still fit over my hips. I can’t find any reviews. Any experiences to share here?

    1. I’ve never tried the jewel style, but it looks like it should work. I’m a pear too, and I like the traditional wrap dresses. I just size up to accommodate my hips, and wrap it tighter, which also means the neckline is not so low. If that makes sense.

      1. For me, it’s not that the neckline is low, it’s that I’m so flat-chested that the fabric just bags. There is just to way to wrap it tight enough since on me it only gets tight at the waist (or when it’s right at the waist, it still gaping in the bust fabric). It’s a tragic, deflated look. If I could just size for the upper body, wraps might work on me.

  4. What are the go to looks for fall this year? I would like to be trendy but not have to think much about my outfit. Our office is very, very casual so it’s mostly jeans. I’m thinking black or light wash skinny jeans with cognac or brown ankle boots and a variety of oversize sweaters? I carry most of my weight in my tummy area (ugh) so tunic/oversize works for me.

    Any other go to ideas? What’s on trend this year? Mom of 2 and feeling frumpy this year, esp for a 29 y/o :-/

    1. Ankle boots are definitely on trend, so you’re off to a good start there. Off the shoulder and cold shoulders were big this summer, I don’t know if that will stick around for the fall. I personally struggle with velvet, but it seems to be a thing now. I think statement necklaces are out, drop earrings are in. Flowy or ruffly blouses with your skinny jeans. Bootcut jeans are back, if that silhouette works for you.

      I saw one blog recommending puffy vests over striped shirts, but then someone here said that look was dated. Its very subjective, but I if you like the way an outfit looks on you, go for it.

    2. It sounds like we have similar bodies and work in similar offices. I love the combination of skinny jeans or black pants, ankle booties, oversize sweater or tunic, and a chunky knit or blanket scarf. Today, I am wearing a teal knee length sweater dress one size up (nothing tight or close to the body for me, thank you), orchid tights, brown sherpa waterfall vest, and brown lace up boots.

      1. Also, this year I am seeing tons and tons and tons of waterfall vests, ankle booties, bootcut jeans jeans, olive green, hunter green, deep garnet, chunky sweaters, corduroy. I saw someone wearing garnet corduroy overalls the other day. No kidding.

    3. I just bought a pair of coated/waxed black denim. I see them with booties for date night or with converse and a tee during the weekend.

      I have a similar work environment and have been digging the monochromatic look with winter whites, tan, black, etc. Old Navy Rockstar mid-rise pants fit me really well and have lots of different color options if you’re looking for something new and relatively inexpensive.

  5. I never was into fashion blogs but recently started following The Sweetest Thing and love that I can get ideas for my wardrobe. What blogs do you ladies follow for non-work fashion ideas?

    1. I haven’t found any non-work blogs that I like, but I just looked at The Sweetest Thing, and it looks interesting. I probably won’t wear those OTK boots in this lifetime (thanks to my abnormally large calf muscles) but that green sweater and I are going to be BFFs.

    3. I think non-work dressing is a lot harder than dressing for work.

      I like Wardrobe Oxygen. She does business casual and non-work wardrobes, and I like how she integrates current trends and mixes and matches things.

      Already Pretty is currently in a rocker-chick badass phase. She used to be super colorful with lots of skirts and dresses.

      Not Dressed As Lamb will give you courage to mix any colors and patterns.

      Putting Me Together is pretty laid-back, busy mom, southern California styles.

    4. I just cannot get on board with that blog. Seven identical pictures of herself in each post… Her massive full-of-secrets hair… flashing Prada/Chanel/Louboutin/Yurman/Ray Ban in most posts… the fake posed “candids”… This blog is too much and not enough.

      2. I could potentially be okay with all of that but her makeup is just terrible. I just want to take a makeup brush to her face and say, “keep blending!”.

        1. Yikes that makeup!! I usually try not to throw shade but her makeup is…wow. Just wow.

          1. She would look so much prettier without all of that makeup. If it looks that caked on in pictures, I can only imagine how it would look in real life.

      3. I just wonder what people think as they’re walking by during a “shoot” – like, who is this person all dressed up and smiling in the middle of the street?

        A friend of mine in NYC posted a video to her instagram of a fashion-blog photo shoot and you could see the tag still on the back of her sweater. Side-eye.

        1. I used to live by a park that was a popular destination for the local lifestyle bloggers. You could spot them a mile away–everyone else would be wearing workout gear or normal clothes, and then there would be 1-2 random women with full faces of makeup and perfectly curled hair, all hauling giant bags and photography equipment across the access bridge, usually in towering heels. It was at least a half mile walk from the parking lot…

        2. As I walk by the alley where it is cool to shoot fashion blog poses I think, that’s where my dog pees.

    5. I follow more people on instagram via the like it to know it page – there’s a lot of variety and if you like someone’s post, you can sign up to get an email with shopping links.

    6. I haven’t found any blogs specific to non-work, but these are some blogs I follow:

      Outfit Posts
      Putting Me Together
      Franish
      Blue Collar Red Lipstick
      Wardrobe Oxygen
      Extra Petite (normally to dressy for my life, but I always like her outfits)

      You Look Fab has some posts on different “outfit formulas”.

    7. I follow sooooo many blogs. I use a RSS feeder, so it’s not like I visit them all every day, but I just counted and I follow 35 different fashion blogs, both work and non-work. This method means that I might not have a great handle on which blog is which (since they all show up in the same place) but, scrolling through my subscriptions, these are the ones I think of as liking for non-work:

      Alicia Fashionista
      Anne in Residence
      Covering the Bases
      The Demure Muse
      Putting Me Together
      Style on Target
      The Daybook
      Kelly in the City
      Un-Fancy

  6. Hello! It’s cold here today, and, not being a coffee gal, I am looking for new tea suggestions. After Peet’s was bought by SBUX, they discontinued my favorite breakfast blend, and I am looking for something that’s Irish-breakfasty, but more complex. I love black teas.

    If anyone has suggestions for non-fruity, bagged black teas that they just love, all ears! A few years ago, someone suggested a fancy tea shop in Vancouver, I think–Murphy’s or Murtry’s or something like that? Happy to do mail order/internet.

    (Also love earl grey lavender teas, if you have a rec for those too!) Thanks, Hive!

    1. Have you looked at David’s Tea yet? They have a pretty amazing selection – they are all loose teas but they sell steepers/tea balls if you need them. I personally like the cream of earl grey and the hot chocolate tea this time of year.

      1. I was going to suggest this as well – some of the more popular teas do come in bags (including cream of earl gray which is my favourite). I think their breakfast tea does as well.

      2. I don’t like a lot of their teas because they use artificial flavors, but still are not cheap. Thank you for the suggestion though.

    2. I drink Harney and Sons Hot Cinnamon Spice tea. I think you can get it on Amazon, but my local supermarket carries it.

    3. Have you tried the Fortnum and Mason line of teas? I love their Queen Anne (Assam and Ceyl0n so a little lighter than an traditional Irish breakfast but really delightful especially if you drink it black/clear) and their Jubilee blends. In Canada you can get them at William Sonoma and at Holt Renfrew, not sure about the US.

      1. Mmm, Melbourne Breakfast. I get a box of that every time I go to Australia. And this last time, I found out they’ve got stores in the US now too, so I can get my fix without paying international shipping or getting on a plane for half a day.

      2. T2 is the best. I picked up some Melbourne Breakfast when I was in Australia and it is the yummiest cup of tea I’ve ever had. My friends and I also split one of their sampler boxes and every flavor I tried was a winner. I believe you can also order online without international shipping, though I could be wrong.

      3. Love T2, just got an assortment of their teas for my birthday and loved every one I tried so far. I always have the spi chai which has jasmine blossoms for a nice kick.

    6. Adagio Teas has bagged and loose-leaf options for pretty much every black tea flavor/blend on the planet. They have an option to buy just a “sample size” too, if you want to try something and not buy a giant bag without knowing whether you like it.

    7. My current favorite is Moonlight Earl Grey, from Spice Merchants. I also like Buckingham Palace Garden Party tea or a Cream Earl Grey. Unfortunately, I can’t find my favorites in bagged varieties, so I keep t-sacs in my desk drawer to avoid fussing with a teaball.

    8. Not bagged, and I know you may not be a Teavana fan (it’s not my absolute favorite place to go), but their Jasmine Silver Needle is my jam. I’ve recently started mixing it with other blends to see how it affects the flavor profile, and it’s amazing.

    9. Perhaps a bit unconventional, but once a month or so I stop by one of my favorite brunch places / tea parlors and ask to buy one of the teas on their tea menu. Just the tea itself, not what’s made & served.
      The first time I asked, the staff looked confused, but now after a few months, I think they remember me. It’s great because they have a huge selection, and I can buy a little just to try something new.

      (Though I guess be prepared for the possibility that they won’t want to sell you something that’s not a menu item.)

    10. I like Republic of Tea. Their Mango Ceylon is my favorite black tea, but it doesn’t sound like it’d be your jam… they have many flavors though, so worth perusing the webs1te.

    11. I love the Impra brand; I get it at a local Russian grocery.

      You can’t go wrong with the ultimate selection of teas and tea bags that they carry at Harrods. What can I say, I brought back half a dozen tins.

      I’m particularly enjoying a new find – The East India Tea Company. I think it’s better than Harrods’ house brands. I’ve found that the East Indian Tea Company has its own on line presence and they do ship to the USA as there is a USA version of their presence.

      http://www.theeastindiacompany.com/shop/fine-foods/tea/?cnpf=1&cnep=0&attro_tea-package-type=213%2C50

      word! cheers!

    12. Wait, what?? Starbucks did not acquire Peet’s.
      Per their wikipedia page, Peet’s is currently owned by a German investment group who also own Caribou Coffee and a controlling interest in Jimmy Choo.

    14. I’m going through a breakfast tea phase too (thanks to afternoon tea at the Fairmont Empress in Victoria…their Empress Orange Pekoe blend is AMAZING and pricey). Currently, I’m trying three breakfast blends from a local Seattle shop, MarketSpice, and I can’t decide which is my favorite: “Irish Breakfast Tea,” “Northwest Breakfast Tea,” or “Connoisseur Tea”. Looks like sell online too: www dot marketspice dot com.

      If you’re ever in town, I recommend visiting their shop (in Pike Place Market right next to the famous fish throwers)…the whole back wall is filled with giant glass jars of loose leaf tea!

    15. Mariage Freres makes the best earl grey lavender tea. Hard to find but delicious.

    16. Hi — I’m from Vancouver, and I buy Murchie’s tea all the time — I like black teas as well, and you can order these online from Murchies. I like their lavender blend (black tea with a delicate hint of lavender), Ceylon, wedding blend — mix of black and grey, diamond jubilee is amazing as well, and if you like a hint of fruit that doesn’t taste artificial, apricot and mango black tea blends are lovely as well. basically, their black tea blends are amazing– I go there to restock about once a month:)

  8. Help? I have a fundraising dinner in a rural area to go to in two weeks and I don’t know what to wear. I’m introducing the speaker. If it was in Toronto I’d wear a suit but I know I’ll be the only woman in a suit if I show up with one.

    2. Does it matter if you are the only woman in a suit? I guess you could take it down a notch and do seperates (a blazer with pants/skirt) instead of the full suit.

      If the speaker is going to be in a suit, then do a suit. Otherwise I’d aim for matching the speaker.

    3. At our rural events I see a lot of blazer + slacks, although it would not but unheard of to see a woman in a suit if she were a lawyer or bank exec.

    5. I would do a blazer + slacks or a skirt. If you are in a colder climate, pick a blazer with an interesting texture (or maybe in a warmer climate, too, just no experience w/that).

    7. If they expect you to contribute, do NOT dress to niceley. Then they will demand more of a gift. If you are mereley soliciting money from rich people, then dress VERY nicely, but use a low cut top, so that the men will focus on your boobies and give more money. I learned this from Grandma Leyeh, who dad says was quite the “harlot” back in the 1950’s. Can you imagine my Grandma doeing those things for money? FOOEY!

  9. What do we think about the growing tradition of adults/parents dressing up for Halloween? Did your parents dress up when you were little? I’m a mid-30s woman with two kids, and it seems that all of my friends dressed up with their kids.

    1. At least around here, it’s because there are more Halloween events/parties to go to (not just trick or treating). In our family, my infant as going to be in the carrier so I build her costume around that and ended up dressing up myself.

    2. It doesn’t bother me at all. Halloween is fun for all ages if you are into that sort of thing. My parents used to go to a neighborhood adult Halloween party every year and the costumes were super elaborate (like rented from theater supply houses) so maybe I am just used to it.
      I’ve got a young kid and he thinks it is awesome when mom and dad dress up in costumes. When he gets older, he probably won’t be so pumped about it so I will enjoy it while it lasts. We saw a good mix last night in our neighborhood. Some families had a group costume going on, some had a mix of individual costumes, some just had the kids. Our group was about 50% costumed for adults.

    3. I think it’s really cute! My parents didn’t do it because store bought costumes weren’t such a thing, and my mother after hand making costumes for two little kids wasn’t going to take on more work.

      1. Same here, and my favorite thing as a kid was flipping through the pattern books at the fabric store to choose my costume. Next year I’m going to make costumes for my kids, but probably not myself. Because time.

        I did see a cute Smee (light blue duct tape stripes on a white shirt) to go with his kid’s captain hook last night, but most trick or treating parents weren’t costumed. Some of the outdoor-firepit-party adults handing out candy were, though. If I were going to a party I’d dress up. Or if my kids really wanted me to.

    4. When I was younger (and in a very small town) the adults stayed home while the kids wandered the neighborhood alone. Made sense not to dress up if you’re at home handing out candy.

      Now (in a large suburb) the adults go with the kids. It makes sense for adults to dress up if they’re literally walking up to the doors with their kids.

      Also, people have more disposable income and less time than 20 years ago, so more store-bought costumes. If you’re at the store and buying 3 costumes for the kids, why not buy two more for the parents? It’s no extra work or time, and it’s a little more fun in a boring adult life.

      Full disclosure: Our whole family dressed up as superheros this year. We put out a bowl of candy on the front porch while we took the kids around the neighborhood. At 4 and 2, they’re too young to do it alone. (Although I’m pretty sure I went by myself at 4 when I was growing up.)

      1. Yes agree with all of this. The new Halloween tradition that annoys me is people making Halloween about their lame rules, like adults shouldn’t dress up, 13 is the upper age limit for trick or treating, you can only visit your neighborhood, controlling the type and quantity of candy, pushing trunk or treating as a mandate. Halloween is a community holiday of openness to our neighbor’s. Either enjoy it or turn your lights out but spare me the hand wringing.

        1. And yet, other than trunk or treating, these have been part of the unwritten code for Halloween for decades.

      2. I remember trick or treating without parents in my neighborhood when I was in elementary school. My parents didn’t dress up every year, but did sometimes when passing out candy. I think it coincided with the years they went to Halloween parties so they already had costumes.

      3. Our kids are school-age, and we all dress up. If you don’t like any aspect of Halloween, you can just do what the people in my old neighborhood used to do – don’t celebrate it!

    5. I don’t have kids and I’m kind of a grinch about Halloween but I think it’s super obnoxious and definitely a result of social media. I’m in my late 20s and I don’t know anyone whose parents dressed up when we were kids. Halloween was a kid’s holiday. But now people have to have the perfect family costume for Instagram.

      1. +1 My parents never dressed up. Once we were old enough we went trick or treating by ourselves. Halloween was definitely a kid’s holiday.

        1. I kind of agree with this. It’s all for Instagram. I also think it just leads to more *waste.* Seriously, we have got to stop consuming so much! All of these people think that global warming is such a problem, and I’m sure they recycle sometimes, but then they go buy store bought costumes for their five family members that were made in China and will never be worn again!!

          1. My super-frugal mother used to sew our Halloween costumes always made the main part of the costume reusable as pajamas or a nightgown. No waste!

          3. That’s great – in that case, go for it! But mostly what you see are store bought. I borrowed our kids’ costumes from friends. I wish more people would do that!

          4. -1. I don’t have an Instagram account. Also, I keep all adult costumes to wear again someday, and all kid costumes go to a consignment store, where they are snapped up asap.

          6. Um, everything is the problem. Br**st cancer runs where everyone buys matching shirts and makes pink tutus that never get worn again. Halloween. Birthday parties with elaborate decorations and favors from China that last your kids one day. Stockings full of junk and piles of presents under the tree. It is ALL the problem.

          7. It is interesting to see such a critique on a fashion blog rather than a blog that focuses on minimalism, frugality, or the environment. How many times do people here ask about what they should buy to wear for an event, when the odds are they already have something suitable in their closet?

          8. I agree that Halloween’s growth is tied to excess and consumption, and I appreciate when someone stands up and points out that buying something to wear once (no matter the reason) is wasteful and harmful to the environment. It helps me to think more globally, takes me out of my self-absorbed state for half a second, and makes me rethink what I’m doing.

            So thank you, anon.

          9. Actually, a fashion blog can encourage better purchases – I know that when I buy higher quality clothes, I buy fewer things.

          10. Interesting – I feel like people primarily going for Instagram likes avoid the storebought costumes because those don’t showcase how clever/craftsy/etc. they are. Around here people start staking out the thrift stores in mid-September to find the perfect vintage blazer/hideous vest/tacky pastel pink block pumps to anchor their costumes. Maybe this is just because I live in an area with tons of SAHM?

          11. I totally bought a goodwill purple coat to dress up as an eggplant/Barney the dinosaur or the purple teletubby (I cannot for the life of me remember which). It was $13 and I ended up wearing it again throughout the winter.

            Last year I was Notorious RBG with stuff I already had.

            I love adults that dress up and I def dont’ think it has to be a colossal environmental waste.

      2. Super obnoxious? Why? Literally why do you care? If this bothers you so much maybe work on your bitterness or get off social media?

        1. Yup. Some people enjoy family group costumes when their kids are young, or like to “get into it” for those who are showing up at the door. It’s fun. It’s something different to do on a worknight. It’s an excuse to celebrate something. Lighten up.

        2. In large part because of the waste that Anon above me mentioned. If you go to the effort to hand make costumes for the whole family, that’s cool I guess. But very few people do. And buying five superhero costumes that are immediately going into to the trash just so you can get a perfect Insta photo is obnoxious.

          1. Not everyone is doing it for a perfect Insta photo. Some people are doing it for the family experience. Also, most people I know keep and reuse costumes or donate them to places like Value Village. These same people also share their costumes amongst their friend group and buy them thrifted in the first place. Your judgment about this is very weird.

          2. Cry me a river. Like you never buy clothes/drive a car/live in a house. Sanctimonious nonsense. You’re just being lame and bitter.

          3. It is literally impossible that everyone is buying them used and sharing them. LIterally, millions of Halloween costumes are bought every year. So don’t pretend just because a couple of people share them means that this has no environmental impact. It does.

          4. anon I’m not arguing that it doesn’t have an environmental impact, just that it’s very easy to mitigate that environmental impact if you want to. I’m an environmental scientist, trust me, I spend all my days mitigating environmental impacts. But I pick my battles and do what I can and encourage those close to me to do the same. I don’t begrudge others that I don’t even know for celebrating something with their families and neighbours. The argument that you’re making could be made for just about any holiday.

          5. How do you know the costumes are going in the trash? My work accepts gently used Halloween costumes for charity. Waste is not limited to Halloween.

          6. I’ll admit that as a kid I probably got a new costume every year and rarely re-used anything, costumes went into the dress-up trunk but just sat there until they were old and smelled weird. Donating sounds great, as does taking the stuff to H&M to get recycled once the kids are big to re-wear it.

            As an adult, I do typically buy or put together a new costume each year, but I have a few opportunities to wear a costume each October so I like having a collection to choose from, and sometimes I lend things out. The Black Widow costume may be due for recycling though, some parts are getting worn out.

          7. My kids play in their Halloween costumes year round. Probably at least a couple times a week. I know a lot of people whose kids are the same way. The costumes either came from the dress up box, or go into the dress up box and get donated when the kids outgrow.

          8. This. My son wore one costume about 4 times a week for at least 2-3 months. Do people not have dress-up boxes anymore? My costumes as an adult are almost always things from our closet plus hat or accessories from dress up box. And I have many friends who have one store bought go to costume that they wear every year for Halloween or any ither costume event.

          9. DH went this year as a sea captain: double breasted blazer, khakis, sperrys from his closet. Eyepatch and captains hat from our costume box. Peg leg made of cardboard lying around the house. 3 days of non shaving scruff. Done.

            I went as a spiderweb (black clothes + web made of string) and my infant was a spider (covered carrier in black fabric lying around, saftey pinned googled eyes on his black winter hat).

            Daughter was a bumblebee. Yellow shirt and black leggings we already had. Bought wings and a tutu that will live on in our dress up bin and maybe ballet class parties. Made antennae out of pipe cleaners.

            Family of 4 fully costumed and all we bought was a pair of wings and a tutu. This was not an environmentally conscious move- we are just lazy and cheap. Only the bumblebee was decided (by daughter) in advance- rest we threw together two hours before trunk-or-treat ;).

            I have in previous years gone as things that requires no purchase (see: cheap/lazy). we also make a point to keep costumes/props as we acquire them.

          10. Why do you assume Halloween costumes go into the trash? My kids wear them for dress-up all year. It’s hard to even estimate the (high) number of hours they wear them. Halloween costumes are a far better purchase than a lot we make, in terms of uses/item.

        3. Seriously! Costumes aren’t obnoxious. People egging houses and TP’ing yards are obnoxious. College kids roaming residential neighborhoods going “woOOOOOooo!” and setting off fireworks at 2AM are obnoxious. And complaining about how other adults choose to dress on Halloween is obnoxious.

          Let people enjoy things.

        4. This. I absolutely love seeing my friends dressed up with their kids. It makes me so happy to see them all enjoying Halloween.

      3. How are people wearing costumes hurting anyone? Costumes are fun, at least for many people!

        1. I don’t get this at all. How is participating in a holiday/celebration with your children attention grabby and Pinteresty? Happy that my group of friends does not take this view. Life is too short to judge people over stuff like Halloween.

          1. Not the poster above, but I think it kind of takes the focus off the kiddos and away from them havng their special day.

          2. Oh come on, Saint Nati. “Life is too short to judge”… like you’ve never judged anyone or rolled your eyes at an obnoxious social media post. It’s not that big a deal to me and it’s not something I’d bring up on my own, but someone asked what people think and yeah I find it obnoxious, just like plenty of other things in life/on social media can be obnoxious. (And some people in your group of friends surely do take this view, as evidenced by the comments here. You can inwardly find something obnoxious without rudely announcing your opinion to friends who enjoy it.)

          3. I actually don’t use social media so rolling my eyes at obnoxious posts isn’t part of my day to day. Generally I take a live and let live approach to social media and other choices. You’re certainly allowed to find it obnoxious, but some of the arguments like “think of the environment!” and general bitterness seem a bit much.

          4. I do use social media, but most of the stuff I roll my eyes at are judgmental and passive aggressive, like those statuses whining about how too many women are going to be Harley Quinn this year. When I do find myself judging someone for something that’s annoying but not worthy of shame, I keep that thought to myself and generally forget it pretty quickly.

        2. Yeah, especially my friends who have kids who are not old enough to get it AT ALL. A whole family costume with a 12 month old??

        3. One person’s “Pinterest-y and attention grabby” is another person’s “fun.”

          1. +1. This. So much this.

            Also, who gives a hoot if someone else IS doing something for the sole purpose of wanting to have a perfect Instagram family photo and garner attention? It literally does not impact you, or your life, at all. Good for her, not for me; run your own race; etc.

          2. Right, and how many people take vacation photos. Many people here ask for trip advice, and it’s often international. Flying in planes is also bad for the environment, and for some here, it’s a job requirement.

            Higher earning people use more of the planet’s resources in general, so a critique from a poster here seems strange to me.

          3. How is that strange? This is the place where we need the reminder. We are higher earning people who use more of the planet’s resources – no doubt. That’s the whole point.

          4. It’s strange because the “think of the environment” argument applies to much of what’s discussed on this site (purchasing things and experiences) but is usually not brought up. All of a sudden it’s a big issue in this thread.

        1. Exactly. Are we going to re-introduce the stocks for appropriate Halloween costume-shaming?

      6. One less extreme solution is to create a costume exchange so people can donate their used costumes and someone else can wear it the following year.

      7. Whaaaat? My family always had Halloween parties and all the adults dressed up. We decorated the yard with cardboard tombstones and cobwebs way before Instagram, and had haunted houses for the neighborhood kids. My uncle’s werewolf costume scared me so much I cried. My family has always been pretty big on fun, though.

      8. DH and I coordinated our costumes with our toddler with absolutely no intention of posting a photo to social media. It’s fun to have traditions. My family didn’t really have traditions for holidays. Get over it.

      9. I have always dressed up. Before I had a kid. Before social media. Don’t be a meanie.

      10. No instagram on this end. And I’m an introvert who would prefer not to stand out or to dress up. However, the light in my kid’s eye at seeing that I was partaking in Halloween and supporting his costume was priceless. I don’t do it for social media. I do it for my kid.

        1. Last year my daughter asked me to be a specific fairytale character so we could be related characters. It was sweet.

    6. When I was a kid a handful of adults dressed up to answer the door for trick-or-treaters. I never saw family costumes. We have sometimes, but not always, dressed up whichever parent who is taking our daughter trick-or-treating to coordinate with her (one takes her out while the other stays home to hand out candy). She is 10 and still loves it. She even tried to convince me I should dress up to answer the door this year even though she was out with friends in another neighborhood.

      1. P.S.: We do not do social media, so family costumes are purely about spoiling our child.

    7. My parents dressed up when I was little only if there was a party or some other event, not for trick-or-treating. IME about half of my friends dress up, esp if they have little kids.
      I wear a costume every year because Halloween is my all-time favorite holiday, and we have a costume party every year. Kids seem to LOVE it when the person giving out candy is in costume. Especially the year I wore my wedding dress and was Bride of Frankenstein. All the little girls were amazed.

    8. I love it when I see it but I don’t think you should feel obligated to do it. My dad would take me trick or treating and not wear a costume. My mom stayed home to hand out candy and she would wear a simple costume. Witch, devil, cat that sort of thing.

      I think some of it depends on if the parents are taking the kids to the door or not. I know a lot of kids want mom and dad to stay on the street while the kids do the driveway/walkway themselves. Or the parents drive the kids from house to house. For able bodied kids and parents, that one bugs me. My subdivision is less than a mile around. You can walk it!

      In other “when I was a kid” gripes, Halloween started after dark, usually after 7 when everyone was home from work/school/activities. My neighborhood started at 5 and more kids came while it was still light/dusk than after dark. I previously lived in a town that did Halloween the Sunday before the 31st. That also drove me nuts but if we are going to be starting at 5 (I heard another neighborhood started at 4!) than the weekend makes sense. I’d rather it be on the 31st and start at 6.

    9. I don’t have kids yet (though I have one on the way) but I dress up for Halloween parties that my friends throw, many of which are kid-friendly too. If I’m going to have a costume for that, why wouldn’t I wear it trick-or-treating with my kid? It’s a fun holiday and there’s nothing wrong with adults joining in (unless the adults are demanding candy when trick-or-treating – that is where I draw the line!).

      1. Haha, yes to your last sentence. It boggles my mind when adults have their own candy bucket/pillow case and walk right on up to grab a piece of candy! I have no issue with kids of any age (including high school) trick or treating, but I’m not talking about 18 year olds here. I’m 36 – and if we look like contemporaries, you shouldn’t be taking my candy…

    10. I love Halloween, so I love when parents dress up both to hand out candy and to take kids around. I like it when non-parents dress up. I love getting dressed up and going to Halloween parties. It’s fun! I don’t get what would bother someone about someone else dressing up unless it was completely inappropriate and around your own kids, but most parent costumes I have seen are not what I would consider to be inappropriate for young eyes.

    11. I think Halloween is a ridiculous holiday once you’re older than a teenager, but I also don’t judge someone who thinks otherwise and wants to dress up. I do wonder about all the kids I see on social media that are dressed as lawyers, judges, and the like and wonder if those costumes were actually the kids’ idea or the parents’. Other than that, if adults want to spend money and time on costumes, I couldn’t care less.

      1. Funny you say that – my Mother is a complete Hallowe’en Grinch and I always had the crappest costumes thrown together at the very last second when she was in charge. The *worst* was the year I was a judge – a lawyer’s robes from her office and a wooden meat tenderizer as a gavel. I still have not overcome the shame.

        I love dressing up and often wear a costume to give out candy. It is surprising to me based on today’s discussion just how much people care about what other people do for fun.

    12. It was about 1/3 “family costumes” and 2/3 “kids only costumes” at my door yesterday, with escorting parents wearing normal fall clothes. Personally, I see this as a kid’s holiday and don’t plan on dressing up myself if and when I have one. But I don’t care if someone else wants to really “get into it” as an adult.

    13. My parents definitely didn’t dress up when I was a kid. My mom had a witch hat and my dad had a mask but I don’t recall them being worn all that much when they took me out trick-or-treating or handed out candy.

      But just because I didn’t see parents doing it “back in maaah day” doesn’t mean I have to hate it! I have been seeing families doing group costumes and I think it’s kind of cool! If adults want to dress up in costumes, let them! Let them attend costume parties, let them go to work in costume at offices where it’s permitted and/or encouraged, let them dress up with their kids or wear spooky costumes for handing out candy.

      I get that not everyone likes Halloween, and I think everyone should get to enjoy the holiday to the fullest extent possible regardless of age.

    14. Adults trick-or-treating with their kids is a recent thing, right? I mean school-age kids, not babies/toddlers. When I was growing up, I feel like I trick-or-treated alone with friends starting around first or second grade? Now it seems like even the middle-schoolers who come to my door have parents with them. I grew up and now live in similar places, so I don’t think it’s a city v. suburb distinction.

      1. Not a recent thing. 30 years ago my parents wouldn’t let me go trick-or-treating without an adult until I was 11 or 12. They were afraid we’d get run over by a car.

      2. In the Pittsburgh area, it’s a tradition for parents to walk their kids around while drinking beer. It’s kind of like a giant block party.

      3. I was not a sheltered kid, and my single mom was far from a helicopter parent (I started getting my little sister and myself ready for school and on the bus by the time I was 9 and she was 5). But even I did not go trick-or-treating alone until I was about 12. I lived in various suburbs of DC and Baltimore and this was the norm at the time (the 90’s). I got the sense that my mom enjoyed going out with us on Halloween, and I look forward to going trick-or-treating with my kids until they age into the too-cool-to-be-seen-with-mom phase too :)

      4. When I was a kid, I had to trick-or-treat with an adult, I guess because it was after dark (I was allowed to roam the neighborhood during the day). I usually went with my friend’s family. My mom stayed home and handed out candy. My dad was a minister at a church that held a “fall festival” because they believed that Halloween was sinful/associated with the devil–if Halloween was on the weekend, he had to be at the church, and if not, he just stayed out of sight to avoid any issues with the church members. Neither of my parents dressed up, but my mom indulged me and put up decorations in the yard for a couple of years.

    15. My son is 17 years old and he and five of his friends dressed up and went trick or treating. And they all came to my house, sober. I love that they still have fun and aren’t too cool for Halloween. And I love to dress up! Don’t be a mean grinch!!!!

    16. I think it’s great. I don’t dress up for Halloween but I love to see parents getting into the spirit of the holiday. My son STILL talks about the house we went to last year where a 6 foot Elmo opened the front door!

    17. I LOVE Halloween and was so bummed out when all my friends aged out of costume parties. I have toddlers and was going to dress up with them this year but ran out of time. Hopefully next year we can have a “theme” with me and the kiddos.

      My husband has a standing tradition of dressing up on Halloween as a fan of his favorite college sports team. He wears jeans and a team t-shirt or sweatshirt.

    18. I have a four month old and I am totally here for it and into it. We had coordinating costumes and I even bought one for my husband, who refused to wear it.

      My mom did not dress up with me for Halloween. Not sure if she didn’t have the time and/or effort or if she just wasn’t feeling it.

    19. I didn’t grow up celebrating Halloween, but my husband’s parents dressed up with him to take him trick-or-treating or go to Halloween parties (one year he was Peter Pan and his parents were John and Wendy), and I think it’s really sweet.

    20. I love costumes and Halloween. Love. So much that despite the fact I have no children, I volunteer to hand out candy at my friends’ house so they can take their kids trick-or-treating and I have an excuse to dress up. I mean, when else does an adult get a reason to wear a costume (well, except like comiccon and the like, of course).

      1. I’d totally do that if kids trick or treated here. So I throw a Halloween party and encourage costumes (though don’t care if people don’t dress up) every year. I love Halloween.

    21. I looooove Halloween and I love dressing up — I do costuming and cosplay as a hobby anyway, so it’s fun for me to try to make my own costume out of whatever I have on hand.

      Last year I ended up making my own prosthetics out of liquid latex and acrylic paint; this year I assembled my whole costume mostly from makeup and existing clothing, and then $80 worth of glass eyes (Van Dyke’s taxidermy, by the way, is worth the money and has unbelievably fast shipping).

  10. I love, love, love the Physicians Formula talc-free mineral pressed powder. I use it over a primer with SPF, and I apply it with a large brush (not the one that comes with it). You can build the coverage you want, so you could keep it fairly sheer. It stays on all day. I was so happy to find it after trying many different options, most of which were far more expensive.

  11. So, all you people who said the FBI news wouldn’t move the polls…Clinton is down 1 point in the ABC poll that had her up 12 points previously (her best poll, basically) – and 538 says the polls won’t fully reflect the impact of the news before the election. When are we allowed to start panicking?

    1. No one said that. What we all said was that she will still win. You go right ahead and panic whenever you want! I’ll be over here, making calls, talking to people, and doing the work.

      1. I’m making calls and “doing the work” too – not sure why you would assume I’m not. And on the last thread about this, several people actually did say this news wouldn’t move the polls.

          1. You realize you’re on a fashion blog right? Not sure what kind of comment would be sufficiently not “pointless” for your standards.

          4. You cannot be serious. “And(sic) comment involving “you people” is hostile.” Are you joking? It’s not as if she said “You people (insert racist comment).” She said “All you people who said the FBI news wouldn’t move the polls.” As in, paging all of the people who said that. You cannot possibly believe that is hostile.

            And if you do really believe that sentence is hostile, you are part of the ridiculous oversensitivity that has resulted in the Trump backlash of anti-political correctness. People (ooooh, can I say that word??) are sick of being nitpicked for every little word choice, and it has resulted in this absolute disaster of an election.

          6. So are you agreeing that the use of “you people” in “all you people who said the FBI news wouldn’t move the polls” is hostile? Yes or no.

          8. No, my parents scolded me as a kid for using “you people.” It’s not a polite way to address a group.

        2. Aren’t you tired of the panic yet?

          Focus your energy on mobilizing people to vote locally, donate where it makes sense and turn off your political feeds/radios.

          Can’t we at least briefly escape your panic…. on a fashion blog?

          This is very unhealthy.

          1. My local yoga studio is doing some election meditation/de-stress session and I thought – what a silly marketing gimmick. But people really are stressed about the election. Maybe it’s not so silly.

    2. It should move the polls. She’s corrupt. I’m still not a Trump voter, but gosh, she’s awful.

        1. I’m a big Slate fan, but it’s a long way from an unbiased source. I still don’t think that Clinton will lose (because Trump is just that bad), but if she does, she’ll absolutely have brought it on herself.

          1. Amen to that. Hilarious citation to Slate (says someone who listens to the Gabfest every week but realizes it is a total echo chamber).

          2. Nope. Not true. If she loses it will be because of people like you, who buy into right wing propaganda because you’re more concerned about attacking a woman for a minor error that is commonplace than you are a bigot racist who doesn’t value our democracy.

      2. how does the new email “announcement” make her corrupt, exactly? you realize the FBI hadn’t even looked at any of the emails before Comey wrote the letter, right? or do you just drink the fox news kool aid?

      3. Why? At this point, there is literally no evidence whatsoever that the emails indicate any further wrongdoing by Clinton. The announcement was made before anyone even read them.

        1. It was 650,000 emails that she hadn’t turned over? Or do you just drink the Slate koolaid?

          2. Do you get your news from Breitbart or something? The investigators found 650,000 on the laptop. There is literally no evidence yet that these emails contain messages that are both 1) work-related and 2) not already turned over to the state department. They haven’t read them yet!

          3. Also, it came out on Sunday that the Clinton Foundation has been investigated for the last several months. Have you read about the Morrocco deal? It’s crazy to me that Dems are denying that she is corrupt. Like I said, I’m not a Trump voter and I hope she wins. But I’m embarrassed of Trump, and you should be embarrassed of Clinton.

          4. I’m so god damn proud of Hillary Clinton, who puts up with this ridiculous crap all the time because she cares enough about the people of this country to fight for what is best for all of us.

    3. Here is what I am curious about. I’ve spent a lot of time imagining worst-case scenarios if Trump is elected President. Instead of what would be worse case, though, I would like to know people’s thoughts about what a Trump president would LIKELY be like. I’m obviously trying to make myself feel better about things. What do you all think?

      1. He would likely make the country worse for anyone who isn’t a rich white man. He would likely ruin our global standing. He would likely destroy our economy. He would likely get our soldiers killed needlessly.

        The “worst case Trump scenario” IS the “likely Trump scenario.” That’s the whole problem.

      2. All of the “likely” scenarios I hear are completely out of character for him. He hasn’t listened to advisors, he hasn’t “started acting presidential”, he hasn’t softened his stances against women/ minorities/ disabled/ etc. At best, I anticipate 4 years of bloviating around, with Pence/ Congress/ House/ Supreme Court/ etc trying to limit the damages domestic and foreign until he’s voted out.

      3. More than anything, Trump is lazy. I didn’t vote for him, but I think a best case scenario with a Trump president would be him mentally checking out of the job as soon as he realizes the gravity of his obligations and leaving it to Pence to run. Not ideal (by a LONG shot), but I think that’s best case Trump-as-president.

        1. +1. I think this is a best case scenario, and also fairly likely to happen if Trump is elected (and I actually know people who dislike him and like Pence who are voting for him on the assumption he will hand the reins over to Pence). As much as I hate Pence, we’d survive four years of him and hopefully Dems would take back Congress and the Presidency in 2020.

          1. I think this is wishful thinking. I don’t think Trump has any real interest in governing, but I also think his ego is too big to allow him to hand over the reins to someone else.

      4. I think it’s likely that everyone in Washington is going to hate working with Trump enough that there will be a lot of stonewalling. I think he’s going to have to tread very carefully to avoid impeachment, simply due to the amount of vitriol toward him (not that I blame anyone for that). I would imagine he’ll be highly ineffective because no one will want to or be able to work with him.

        Maybe that’s overly rosy and optimistic – but given how uninformed he seems to be and how unwilling he’s been to work with even his own party (or them with him) I can’t imagine him actually being able to accomplish anything. Evidently I’m also very obviously trying to make myself feel better.

      5. Honestly, I can’t stand either major party candidate, at all. He’s a lunatic, and I’d be in jail if I did a tenth of what she did with classified data. (To be clear, I understand a lot of people don’t think that is a big deal, but what galls me is the obvious “one law for the Clintons, one law for everyone else” issue – we’re not a damned nobility, but she sure gets treated like it.) That said, I think Trump would actually do less damage. He doesn’t have the support of anyone else in Washington, so a slight benefit may be that Congress actually starts doing their job and reining in the presidency. Bush and Obama have both overstepped what the role should be immensely. Anything that puts the balance back where it should be is a plus to me. Getting rid of the deadbeats and sycophants in Congress is another issue entirely, though…

        1. You would not be in jail, because she didn’t commit a crime. Must be nice being so white and privileged you can think a Trump presidency wouldn’t be that bad. If you think the candidates are in any way comparable check your privilege and your comfort level with white pride.

          1. Well, you kind of would. If you were sending classified emails to and from your own private server. There are separate networks for that in the government, and willfully ignoring them would get you in a heap of trouble if you weren’t the Secretary. To be clear, I am definitely a Hillary voter, and I think it has more to do with a halo effect of her position than her name, but the email stuff was wrong and would probably get a worker bee arrested.

          2. + 1 000 000

            Signed,
            Canadian who cannot understand why 1/3 of Americans apparently think Trump is in the same ballpark or heck, universe, of competence as Clinton.

            And “one law for everyone else, one law for Trump” sure as heck seems to apply to Trump’s harassment/assault problem.

          3. + Infinity.

            Usually, I skip the political discussions. I’ve already voted and I’m all set.

            But, first, @Spirograph, Condoleeza and Colin Powell also had private email servers so if you’re going to put her in jail, make sure to issue arrest warrants for them, too.

            More importantly, I just do not understand why there is such a high bar for Hillary and such a low bar for Trump!!! WTF.

            Think of all the sh!t she’s had to overcome to get to where she is. She has so much experience in the business world and in politics and public service. There must have been so much sexism at every turn. Meanwhile, he inherited his money, ran almost every company into the ground, disenfranchised workers, etc.

            Seriously, as has been said above, how can you even compare them?

          4. Exactly. I am so, so scared that we’re going to wake up next Wednesday morning and have to face the sad truth that this country is still so horribly sexist and racist that this super-qualified woman candidate couldn’t even beat a malignant narcissist who doesn’t know his cotton-candy orange hair from a hole in the ground and who, it was reported this morning, straight up cheated on his taxes for realsies.

            It makes me so scared and ragey that I just don’t even know what to do.

          5. I can’t vote because I am not a citizen-it kills me this year! I am from a country with a “president” who was actually a dictator with a personality cult who was really xenophobic and racist. I appreciate that there are checks so a POTUS can’t become a dictator, but the POTUS still has a lot of power and can do a lot of things unilaterally. Trump and his followers are eerily reminiscent of the situation in my home country.

          6. Right, that’s why I said it was her position and not her name that made it defensible. if I as a random government employee declared I was going to handle all my work stuff via a personal account, that would be shot down. and if I did it anyway and there was classified info in my basement server or whatever, I’d likely be arrested. I’d certainly lose my job and my security clearance. That’s just a fact. Then there’s the issue of appropriate government record-keeping. I don’t think HRC belongs in jail, I was agreeing that if the previous commenter, who I assume is not a Secretary or similar, had done what HRC, Condi, and Colin Powell did, she’d be on the wrong side of the law without a justification like ” I’m the Secretary of State and I did this with the knowledge of the IT and security departments” to mitigate and could end up in prison.

            Like I said, I am a Hillary voter, and not solely because #nevertrump. I think a lot of things about her are great, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t made mistakes (as literally everyone does. Even if her opponent weren’t so terrible, this one would not be a deciding factor in my vote) or that it’s wrong to acknowledge them. Hell, this is even a mistake she admits to.

          7. While I 100% agree that Trump is worse, both the above commenter and Spirograph are correct that if a normal fedgov worker who handles classified information as part of their job requirements did what HRC did*, they would be fired and probably in jail.

            It is deeply disturbing, but predictable, that HRC’s supporters will not admit that this is a case of one law for the powerful and another law for everyone else.

            And yes, I still voted for her. Because Trump is a wannabe authoritarian.

            *Thing #1: deliberately evading FOIA requirements by setting up the private email server; thing #2: deliberately handling classified information on an unclassified network.

      6. I also think the stock market would crash on the morning of November 9 if he won. Just look at what happened in the hour following Comey’s letter. It would be our Brexit.

        2. I read that there could be a 10-15% hit to the world markets if Trump were elected. That’s recession territory, just from an American election.

    4. Where on 538 are you reading that the polls won’t fully reflect the impact of the news before the election? I just listened to the daily podcast this morning, and the most recent analysis here doesn’t say that: http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/election-update-comey-or-not-trump-continues-to-narrow-gap-with-clinton/.

      There are polls being conducted every single day, so they are likely to capture the impact of the news. According to the article above and the podcast this morning, it’s really hard to tell what part of the tightening of the race is because of Comey’s announcement and what would have happened already in typical news cycles. And typically, “October surprises” don’t shift the race more than 2 percentage points, which would still leave Clinton with a victory.

      Finally, please take a look at the “snake” chart about halfway down this page: http://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/2016-election-forecast/. The tipping point of the race is still in a state where Clinton has a comfortable polling lead.

      I’m not saying she has it 100% in the bag. She doesn’t, and the chance that there is a systemic polling error does make me very nervous. But it’s not time to panic yet.

    5. HRC’s chance of winning just declined some more on 538 — from 82 to 78 to 75 to 74 in recent days, now at 73. How low does this go?? You know I was going to invest this week to take advantage of the volatility and make $ on the pop after she won and now I’m not so sure . . . .

  12. I placed an order with M.Gemi and all the items appear to be in stock. it’s been like 6 days since I ordered, and the order is still listed as processing. Is this normal, or should I inquire about it?

    2. Definitely inquire about it. My orders usually ship within a day or 2 at the most, and I don’t think I’ve ever waited more than a week from ordering to actually receiving my shoes. (I’ve ordered from them a dozen or so times now.)

  13. I need a gift idea for my younger cousin who is turning 16. She is kind of introverted, plays violin in the school orchestra, and is very focused on her academics. She lives in Southern California. She is an only child and her parents are well-off so she basically has everything she needs. I would like to spend in the $50 range. I know she doesn’t need anything but I’m basically kind of like her surrogate sibling, even though I’m more than 20 years older than her. Thanks.

    1. I would have loved a makeup palette- a nice subtle one, or a few good books, or a fun purse or wallet.

      1. A more “grown up” purse or wallet seems to be a good and well-received gift at that age, even if she isn’t that into fashion. She’s growing up!

        A more low key version of giving jewelry or a watch on a 18th or 21st birthday.

      2. A great makeup palette would be the Stila Perfect Me, Perfect Hue Eye & Cheek palette. It comes in a few different versions depending on skin tone, but all have neutral shades, have everything a young girl would need makeup wise, and the quality is great.

      2. Yes! Even if you don’t live nearby, but you make a point to visit and take her out. My mother taking me to the opera as a 15 year old made me feel so adult and fancy, and introduced me to the beauty of the opera and the symphony. I would’ve been even more thrilled if my 10-years-older cousin or cool aunt had introduced me to something like that.

        1. This is great news for me! I brought my (then) 13-year old niece to the Met Opera in March, I am glad to hear I was on track as a cool aunt.

      4. What a wonderful idea! If you are interested in doing this, I highly recommend the Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra. Tickets/subscriptions are reasonably priced (relatively speaking), their programming is wonderful and there’s often a talk/educational component to the program. And of course, the musicianship is outstanding!

    3. A really nice hardbound copy of a book you loved when you were 16, with a handwritten inscription.

    4. I was a similar kind of kid. Does she like to read? I always loved (and still do, haha) getting gift cards for my Kindle/e-reader. I also loved tickets to the symphony/concerts/touring Broadway shows. I also liked cool headphones (like UrbanEars) and crossbodies that I could wear wherever and not worry about messing up a “nicer” bag.

      I was really big into paper planners, so my parents would sometimes gift me a customized planner (run around the range that you’re wanting to spend). My cousin of the same age got a lot of Alex and Ani bracelets for birthday/Christmas.

      1. If she likes to read, gift card to buy more books AND recommendations or a book from a new author (preferably with a long backlist). I was a reader, and was always thrilled to be able to find new stuff to read.

    6. I would take her to Sephora and have her face “done.” It’d be a fun time for the two of you together and she’ll learn some makeup tricks. At that age I would’ve killed for someone to show me how to do those things.

    7. Nice makeup (something that can be used for lots of different occasions), a nice wallet (I just got a Hobo wallet that I love- it’s not “nice,” per se, but it looks nicer than my crappy Target wallets), or a Barnes and Noble gift card. At that age (well, actually, still) I loved just being able to go buy the books I’d been looking at at Barnes and Noble but didn’t have the money for.

    8. Ask her mom if she actually wears makeup. I didn’t start wearing it till I started my final year of high school and hated getting makeup-related gifts before that from well-meaning family members who bought for ‘a 14 year old girl’ rather than for me. I’d have been way happier with book tokens!

  14. I need a quick birthday gift idea, for something I can have in-hand by Friday. Friend is a foodie and enjoys arty things, she’s a pretty practical gal and doesn’t treat herself very often, so I’d love to do something that feels luxe and clocks in around $40.

    1. Simple by Diana Henry. Lovely new cookbook she probably doesn’t have already, Amazon Prime friendly.

  15. Need a wedding gift that is a little different from the norm. Would prefer to do something off-the-beaten-path like an experience gift or a monthly subscription for the couple to enjoy.

      1. This is a very special friend who has nearly unlimited resources. For personal reasons, I’d like the gift to be unique and meaningful.

    2. Gift certificate to their favorite restaurant? Do you know where they’re honeymooning? I’ve had luck getting the couple a gift certificate for an activity I know they’ll enjoy (massages, scuba diving, etc.) but you have to know where they’re going and what they like to do in order for that to be a viable option.

    4. We give “wine of the month” – basically go to our local wine shop, tell them our budget and have them send a nice bottle throughout the year to the couple. Sometimes it ends up a couple of bottles a quarter, other times more often.

      1. Some other ideas I’ve done:
        – gift certificate for a cocktail mixing class with vintage cocktail glasses (easy to find on etsy)
        – gift cert for cooking classes with a few woods spoons

        Favorite things we got after we eloped (and didn’t register or think anyone would get us gifts)
        – monthly surprise box from Zingermans in NYC (it’s a gourmet food item of some kind every month)
        – gift pack of fancy cheese from the Marin Cheese Company
        – “monogrammed” cocktail glasses from crate and barrel (I kept my last name so my friend used our first initials)
        – gift certificate to a local spa for couples massages/ day at the spa

    7. Sincere question — if you feel you know the couple well enough to go “off registry,” why do you need to ask for advice here? Just wanting to be “different” in my experience led to several well-intentioned but not-at-all-to-my-taste artsy gifts.

      1. I’d never go off-registry for something tangible, but I’m specifically trying to brainstorm experiences or things that they won’t have to store. I definitely know them well enough to know what they’d like experience or subscription-wise.

    9. I just got married and I seriously appreciated sets of plain white sheets – king and queen sized. It’s not exactly “special”, but if you veer off the registry, it’s practical and nice.

    10. A bottle of wine from each of the years they were born (to drink now or on their 1st anniversary), plus a 3rd bottle from this year (to drink on their 10th or whatever)

    11. Where are they located? That will impact what experience gifts would be really meaningful to them. If they were near Toronto, I’d get them tickets to do Edgewalk along the CN Tower with a frame for the photo saying “Face your fears together!” or something.

    12. My SIL and BIL received a set of “date night” gift cards–one for a cocktail bar, one for a restaurant, and one for a fancy dessert shop. I really liked that idea.

    13. I just got married and the gifts that meant the most weren’t really gifts at all — it was the people w ho took the time to write really lovely notes in the greeting cards. Beyond that, we didn’t register for many things but we really liked and wanted everything we registered for so we were thrilled to receive any of it. So don’t be too quick to discount something from the registry.

      Oh! One that stood out, and I swear to goodness I don’t know how she did it, but somebody made a keepsake box that she decorated in my wedding colors using some of the ribbons from the wedding favors and cutouts from the wedding programs. It was amazing and mysterious — did she sneak off into a side room during the reception and finish it? Did she conspire with the wedding planner to get the materials in advance? I don’t know but it freaked me out in a really fun way!

      1. And the thing that was freaky was the the gift was there, finished, on the day of the wedding with the other gifts. How did she do it???

    14. This is a post-wedding thing and probably more for the bride than the groom, but a friend had a watercolor painting made of one of our wedding photos and it’s one of my favorite gifts ever.

  16. I’m in NYC for work this evening and staying near 50th and Broadway near Times Square. Any restaurant recommendations for good Italian or Mexican food in the area? Or Dim Sum? TIA!

    1. Joe Shanghai (56 between 5th and 6th) or Dim Sum Palace (56th between 8th and 9th) for dim sum. Alternatively, check out Totto or Ippudo ramen at their midtown locations.

    2. Mexican at Toloache — on 50th btwn 7th and 8th. Neil Patrick Harris can be found there fairly frequently in case you’re looking for a star sighting. If you’re into Broadway I’m sure there are a decent number of Broadway actors there nightly as it’s close — though I don’t know bc I don’t recognize them.

      1. +1 – I think Toloache is your best bet. No great Italian restaurants right in that area IMO.

      1. And in fact a walk down Ninth from around 50th to the low 40s will yield lots of choices. El Centro is another good choice for Mexican. (Ninth and 54th.) There are also a pair of nice wine bars on West 51st — Briciola on one side of the street and a South African wine bar across the street, the name of which I can’t recall.

    4. I am partial to Jing Fong for dim sum. I haven’t been in a few years, but if you don’t want to wait (dim sum is usually an after-a-night-on-the-town breakfast for me, so I *don’t* want to wait) I would try to get there within 15 minutes of its opening time.

  17. I am fashion challenged and have some questions:

    (1) I have some simple black ankle boots – 3 inch skinny heel, almond toe, hit at smallest part of ankle. It’s fine to wear these with black tights and pencil skirts/shealth dresses, right?

    (2) I have a pair of simple Cole Haan knee high black leather boots – 2 inch skinny heal, almond toe. Will I look totally dated if I wear these with pencil skirts and tights? They are so comfortable and keep me much warmer (obviously) than ankle boots in the winter.

    (3) Can you wear long, loose cardigans in a business casual office? If so, how? I feel like they don’t work with pencil skirts (my go to). My office is very casual on the business casual.

    1. Those all sound fine. For #3, I’d wear a silky blouse (no buttons) and skinny jeans with the cardigan.

    2. 1. Yes.

      2. If Cole Haan knee boots with pencil skirts are wrong, I don’t want to be right.

      3. Yes, but, at least in my personal opinion, not with pencil skirts – it makes the proportions super-weird unless you are very, very tall. Personally, I prefer long cardigans with pants and heels.

      1. Can I wear long cardigan with trouser style dress pants or do they have to be more fitted?

        1. I feel like loose cardigans work better with fitted bottoms, because it balances the volumes of the garments. How long are we talking (mid-thigh, below the knee?)

          Trouser pants might work better with a long (no more than mid-thigh), belted cardigan, which give more of a fitted silhouette on top to balance the volume of the trouser leg.

  18. Oh another question – I LOVE the look of the J Crew Lady Day coat. I’m think about getting it in black for myself for Christmas. I can wear this with jeans, dressy stuff, etc., right? Also, regarding coat lengths, longer coat looks better with pencil skirt right? Waist length pea coats with dress pants only, correct?

    1. Oh I’m sad…6T black lady day coat is sold out already. Doeseley anyone know if JCREW usually re-stocks or am I out of luck?

      1. I’m not sure, but it’s worth trying on in a different color — it looked horrible on me, not at all like it did on the model. So disappointing.

  19. I’m dining at a trendy LA restaurant this weekend. What to wear? I’m generally a jeans person but this place seems a little elevated. I’m too fat for my current pair of skinny black pants, so that’s not an option right now.

    1. I might wear a fun dressy skirt with a chambray shirt or even a graphic tee. Or a plain tee and a jeans jacket or leather jacket.

      1. Thanks – good suggestions! I had a fun dressy skirt in my hands at the Boden sample sale and didn’t buy it! Now I am back in my wasteland of shopping and may have to wait to get to LA to see what’s doing. Any place to find fun stuff in LA (I’m a straight size 14/16 – not quite plus sized but def not designer sized)? I have all Friday afternoon to shop – was planning to head toward Brentwood/UCLA to poke around that day.

      2. LA style tends to be colorful, feminine, and casual, and some folks are into normcore.

    2. If it was me (a local who’s usually a smidge overdressed), I’d wear something less formal than a date-night/party dress. Maybe a plain top and a fun skirt, or vice versa. Or a nice blouse and jeans. As for shopping, I dunno, none of the local malls are stellar (though the Bloomingdales in the Century City mall is generally fun and there is a Nordstrom at Westside Pavillion).

  20. HRC’s chance of winning just declined some more on 538 — from 82 to 78 to 75 to 74 in recent days, now at 73. How low does this go?? You know I was going to invest this week to take advantage of the volatility and make $ on the pop after she won and now I’m not so sure . . . .

      1. Ok clearly I’m not doing anything but can someone explain what canvassing is? I feel like I’m hearing the term a lot in recent days — but I didn’t realize it had anything to do with elections? Isn’t what they were calling the Iowa caucuses? What will you actually do?

        1. No, not at all. Canvassing refers to knocking on doors in neighborhoods (usually) to get support for something – an issue, a public meeting, a petition, a candidate. (You can do streetcorner canvassing or mall canvassing too and that’s somewhat self explanatory.)

      2. I can’t wait for this and the random spam texts to stop. I am 100% Grinch on this, but I just want to be left alone. By everyone!

    2. Now down to 72.9%. Wow.

      Who is texting you about this?! Are you on some kind of party phone list?

  21. Some days ago there was a post about what to do to deal with anxiety at work –

    Just thought of this – soemthing that helps me is reading something unrelated to work. Reading a pdf of a novel still looks fairly work-y but gives you some time to focus on something calming and think through your issue. This could just be me though.

    1. That was my plea! Thanks for the tip/reminder. That does help me too (when I remember to do it!)

    2. I want to try this, but I can’t figure out how to do it other than logging into the Amazon website and reading my Kindle books.

  22. Reposting for more responses –
    My cousin’s daughter (in a nearby city) is turning 16 and her single mom just went through some surgery and is not able to throw a party. We (family with 2 small kiddos) will be going to visit her and I’d like to do something nice. Unsure what a 16 year old likes these days and what we could do that wouldn’t offend the mom or make her feel bad that she couldn’t do a sweet 16.
    Our budget is upto $100. The girl in question is a bit shy, with creative interests (cooking/baking/crafts). She seems to live a somewhat circumscribed life as her mom is strict. I was thinking something like a restaurant or movie or starbucks gift voucher so she can take her friends. Or a mani-pedi thing she could do with her mom. Thanks to the 2 posters for ideas: Michael’s craft class and pedi for mom and daughter. Other ideas welcome.

    2. Is there a ceramic painting place near them (color me mine) as an example? You could give her a gift card to take her mom or friends, or just throw an actual party there.

    3. Borrowing from a comment above, take her to a makeup counter and purchase a couple of products (if mom approves). Help mom have some of the daughter’s friends over to bake and decorate cupcakes?

    4. When my son turned 16 he loved it when we took him out to a nice restaurant for his birthday. Not super fancy, but fancier than we usually do as a family.

    5. I think a movie theatre gift card for $100 would be great so that she can invite 2 or 3 friends to go to the movies for her birthday. If she doesn’t drive yet (I assume not not if she’s just turning 16), offer to fetch and ferry her and her friends to and from the theatre so that her mom not being able to drive or not feeling up to driving after surgery isn’t a barrier.

  23. My husband and I live far away from my parents. In addition to it being far, it takes a very long time to get there (10-11 hour trip each way due to having to get a connection, rent a car, and drive about 2 hours to their home from the airport). I make the trek on my own twice a year.

    My mother really wants my husband and I to come visit together. I am in biglaw and have flexibility to work remotely when I am there, and I have a flexible vacation policy anyways. My husband gets an inflexible two weeks a year of vacation. I don’t want to ask him to burn 3-4 days of vacation to go on this trip. It means that we can’t go on vacation like we normally would. And this isn’t really a vacation-they live in an economically depressed area where there is nothing to do, and it is hard to get anywhere from there.

    But I also don’t want to just ignore my mother, as she is really really upset about it and thinks my husband doesn’t like her. It’s not really the case (although he doesn’t like how she is critical of our “lifestyle,” how she treats me, and it might become more true if she keeps bugging me about this). Thoughts?

    1. I would pick a long weekend each year for you both to visit and then you go by yourself the other time. If you go on a consistent weekend then it will become a bit of a tradition for her to look forward to. Maybe go for Easter every year? Or Memorial Day?

      Could they pick you up at the airport so you don’t have to line up to get the rental car or do you want to have your own rental car there?

      1. I think this is a fair option, although we don’t celebrate Easter. Something like memorial day may make a lot of sense. It occurred to me may also be able to take “sick” days or some kind of other PTO so we are still able to go on vacation.

        The rental car line isn’t a problem, it is the 2 hour drive, and we definitely need a car when we are there so I don’t have a meltdown.

        1. In light of your post below. Even if you just keep doing what you are doing, don’t feel guilty. It’s understandable that she’s concerned your DH doesn’t like her after she engaged in such behavior. Visit once/twice year on a long weekend and bring DH annually if possible. Enjoy his two week of vacation together just the two of you. You may end up traveling like 24 hours total to spend only 24-48 hours there but it sounds like a shorter visit may be better anyway based on her behavior below.

    2. He should go visit once a year or at least every other year. He takes 3 vacation days, that leaves plenty for a separate vacation. Of course she thinks he doesn’t like her.

      1. Right. She thinks he doesn’t like her because, well, he doesn’t like her.

        1. Haha, yes, I think he just hesitant to say he doesn’t. After writing this out, I am not saying I don’t care about her at all, but I am wondering if I even like her as a person all that much.

      2. +1

        You mother’s request is reasonable.

        Once a year for a 3 day weekend… He can do this.

        Your situation reminds me of my brother/his wife. They have the only grandchild, and visit once a year for a few days. The amount of pain this caused my parents was huge. Quite cruel…

        Do your parents really deserve this? They won’t be around forever.

        1. Reasonable or not (and that is debatable), I am not doing it. I don’t see the need to bench over backwards for her given how she treats us. Cruel or not, I am saying no and sticking to it. Judgers can judge.

          2. Alternatively, maybe we should go to her home and behave the way she did at mine…. I bet she’d stop haranguing us to come visit then. But since we are adults, we won’t act that way.

    3. Can your parents come to you or maybe you can meet at a third location that is more of a vacation? If money is an issue for them, can you foot some of the bill for their travel (you’d be spending it going there anyway).

      1. I have offered this, but my mother refuses to meet somewhere else. I would be more than happy to pay for all of their travel if they would do this option.

        1. In that case, I think that’s her choice and she should generally suck it up except for very special occasions like your mom’s milestone birthdays or similar.

    4. Now that you are married, your top priority is your nuclear family (you + husband), not your parents’ happiness. It sounds as if you have plenty of valid reasons for not wanting to make your husband visit your parents and for not wanting your parents to visit you. Wasting money, precious vacation days, and sanity to drag your husband to your mother’s house is not really going to satisfy her anyway, right? She will just treat him poorly the whole time he’s there.

      My husband visits his mother alone for similar reasons. Neither of us enjoys spending time with her, he has more vacation time than I do, and plane tickets are expensive.

    5. You know, I never really saw this written out before and seeing it in print makes me realize…..this is crazy that I would make such an effort for someone who acts like this, regardless of whether this is my mother. I am sure some here will think I am a terrible person and I need to visit her with my husband because she is my mom, but honestly….I don’t think my husband will be making this trip. And perhaps I won’t go as often either.

      1. Yeah it sounds like she’s kind of a pill.

        I have been spending less and less time with my own parents for similar reasons. Really, if it makes me miserable and it doesn’t even satisfy them or make them happy, why go through the whole charade?

      2. Well she’s hostile and abusive, so why would you? I get wanting to not sever the tie because she s your mom though.

      3. People who have pleasant, reasonable parents will never understand the need to set boundaries. You know what’s right for you. Don’t worry about what other people think.

      4. I sort of feel like an idiot now, but this helped! I think this is what my DH has been trying to say all along.

        I also forgot to mention that I offered to buy them a home in a retirement community close to me to solve this “problem” of distance. Gah! But maybe the distance is a good thing.

      6. If you’ve offered to pay for her to come see you and she doesn’t have a great reason not too (difficult for her to travel, work schedule, etc), she shouldn’t expect you and your husband to drop everything and come out there. I’m a firm believer that people have to earn the “right” (not sure what the correct word is here not intending to sound full of myself) to spend time with others, even if it is family. If your family is toxic and controlling, they don’t have a right to spend time with you.

    1. This is a good question. She refuses to come and says the trip is too hard for her at her age. She also refuses to stay in a hotel.

      I flew my parents to me for Thanksgiving two years ago, at my husband’s urging so we wouldn’t have to go there. I paid for them to be in first class because they are pretty old and it is a long trip. The visit went so terribly that my (reasonable) father insisted that they stay in a hotel for the remainder of the trip. My mother broke many things in my home and refused to speak to anyone for over a day. She made such a ruckus with yelling that my neighbor came over to talk to me, and eventually called the police. I honestly don’t want her staying with me again, and I think with good reason.

      1. I posted above but totally confused by the new info. Why would she break things in your house?

        If your parents are not well, then it may make sense to try to make an effort to find a weekend to visit them every year as they may not have that many years left.

        1. She completely lost her temper and threw objects at me such as plates, vases, etc. A window also got broken. It was over $1000 in damage.

          2. I do not reward temper tantrums with additional opportunities for me to be emotionally abused. The fact that she acted like a three year old does not mean that she should be rewarded with what she wants. And if she acts like that, who cares if she thinks your husband doesn’t like her. He certainly has good reason to not like her.

            I cut off all contact with my father about four years ago and have zero regrets. He was not able to behave like a reasonable, reasonable adult and the relationship no longer had a net benefit to me.

          4. + a million to “I do not reward temper tantrums with additional opportunities for me to be emotionally abused.”

          5. Yeah, this completely changes things. My answer to your initial question would be that husband should s*ck it up and go once a year for the sake of keeping the peace. But she came to your house and assaulted you, caused over $1,000 of property damage and called the police? I don’t blame your husband for not wanting to visit and I hope you’ve talked about what you will do with kids if you plan to have them. Because if this were my MIL, I would not want my children to be around and certainly to have no unsupervised contact.

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