Coffee Break: Laptop Clutch
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I could see this “laptop clutch” being very useful if you often want to grab your laptop along with a few other items, especially if you're headed for an internal meeting and don't need your full bag.
The clutch fits up to a 14″ diagonal screen, and has a “handy exterior sleeve” for items like your phone and journal. Interestingly, it is made of cactus, which sounds a bit better as a “vegan leather” than the ones made from plastics.
The clutch is $118; Nordstrom has it in black, while Amazon has it in beige, as well as a larger size.
Sales of note for 3/10/25:
- Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
- Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + 20% off
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off all sale and select styles with code
- J.Crew – 40% off everything + extra 20% off when you buy 3+ styles
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off all pants & sweaters; extra 50% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Flash sale until midday 3/14: $50 off every $200 – combineable with other offers, including 40% off one item and 30% off everything else
What touches do you have that make your corporate office a nicer place to be?
I’ve been dreading coming to work lately, and I realized part of it is that I don’t really have a nice space to spend my time. (I radically depersonalized it a while ago when I thought I might be quitting). During the time I worked more from home, I really started to enjoy my home office and set it up in a way that my work-office never would be (dozens of personal photos etc). We’ve mostly been back in the office for a while, but are officially moving to 100% full time in the office – so I think its time to make it nicer again.
I have my own dedicated office with a door that closes. Two empty bulletin boards, a big whiteboard, some empty shelves and a sit-stand desk. Couple of basic visitor chairs. Overhead fluorescent lighting. Its by far the worst office in my department.
I’d like to bring in some things to make it nicer. Don’t mind spending a bit of money (few hundred total?), but would like to ensure that whatever I bring in is not a permanent installation. What are the great ideas from this hive?
Photos and framed artwork my kids did when they were little.
Plants.
If you have room, a rug will warm it up a lot.
Different chairs or, if you prefer, throw blankets / pillows on the visitor chairs.
A desk lamp instead of the overhead lighting.
I would steer way clear of anything child related. Unfortunately.
Lamps are the number one thing. I never turn the awful overhead light on. Lots of framed art on the walls and a mirror. A tea kettle and little tea station so I don’t have to go to the breakroom to make tea, which I do multiple times per day.
I tried having a rug, but it didn’t work out well with the rolling chair so I just ended up taking it home.
Today is full of the overhead lighting hate. I guess it is deserved.
Fake plant – that splot of green makes a difference! (I do spiky grass, so nothing too demanding to clean.)
Inoffensive art – painting of your city/town skyline or notable landmark, if you need ideas
Lamp – with warmer light bulb to cut that fluorescent light (mine is shiny silver with a nondescript off-white shade, so it doesn’t feel cozy-homey, it feels businessy)
Plants and lamps! And art – even a pretty calendar can brighten things up.
Honestly? Nothing. I’ve been let go suddenly before (got rid of my position after 7+ years) and the worst was having to work that out. And in addition to that, I actually had some of my stuff never returned to me after I lost my job during the time of Covid evacuation from the office. I’ve now realized nothing is permanent and the fewer things, the better. Unless there is something with a practical need–like a lamp or water bottle I don’t mind never seeing again–I just leave it. I also think you don’t see men “nesting” as much at the office. In a world where it’s already tough enough getting equal footing, t’s better to keep things more professional than homey generally speaking.
I would decline to attend with zero guilt.
Argh – this was meant for the wedding Q below
I work with lots of men who have a lot of stuff on their walls – often these are articles aboyt them/their cases, power photos, or court sketches so very work related but I don’t think this needs to be gendered.
I vote for lamp and a nice calendar that makes you happy as some easy fixes.
I’m in government IT, not corporate, but all the men have a ton of goofy decorations and craap in their cubicles: tacky diy art, fidget toys, hobby related knickknacks, out of date calendars and holiday cards. The women universally have 1 or 2 framed personal photos, an attractive lap blanket, and a personalized coffee cup and/or water bottle
Can the empty bulletin boards come off the walls? They sound depressing!
What about the whiteboard — do you use it?
I have a lamp on my desk, colorful pillows on my guest chairs, books on my shelves. When I get random decorative objects, they go with my books on the shelves. In my job, creating a warm connection is more important than maintaining a strictly professional space.
What are the current rules and etiquette around destination weddings? DH’s college friend is getting married in their home country 8,000 miles away because it is cheaper than the U.S., in spite of the guest list primarily being U.S. based. It will take at least 24 hours to get there and the wedding itself is 2 days. Though it is customary in our socioeconomic class / culture to pay for the hotel rooms of the guests, DH’s friend is not paying, but they’ve bought out the luxury resort, so we are required to stay there / pay for the rooms. I am guessing all in it will cost around $5,000 for us to attend this wedding, and will require a huge amount of time, PTO, and inconvenience/jet lag. Also, they are having it on a Tuesday/Wednesday to get discounts, so it will make traveling there even less convenient and require us to take maximum PTO.
DH and this friend spent a ton of time together in college, but haven’t spent as much time together since the friend moved to a different city. I personally don’t think the friend is a great person – he frequently ‘roasts’ my husband in ways I find cruel (calling him a ‘little b word,’ saying he’s a mama’s boy for being close with his mom, and saying constantly that I am too attractive for my husband and that people stare at us in confusion / it’s the biggest mystery how DH ‘pulled me’ [he has made some variation of this comment any time I’ve seen him over the entire time DH and I have been together, often multiple times in an evening]. Friend is also a bit Trump-leaning now. They have never had an emotionally intimate relationship, but were in each others’ primary friend group and have known each other 10+ years now.
It seems like most of their peer group will be attending this wedding, and I feel like it would damage their friendship not to go. Yet it also seems like an enormous ask of people, and I’m confused by how it’s become customary to assume people will spend thousands to go to your wedding. I’ve heard that ‘When people have out of the country weddings, they know not everyone can come but don’t hold it against you for not attending.’ But is this true in practice?
It’s an invitation not a summons. It’s up to you whether you want to bear this cost to attend and your friend accepted those risks by making it difficult to attend in terms of time and expense.
I would decline to attend with zero guilt.
+1
+2
It might be a slight hit to the friendship because people are not always reasonable and logical particularly when it comes to their own wedding.
But that doesn’t mean I’d go to this one.
So it is not my experience (either in my culture or socioeconomic class, I guess) for the wedding hosts to purchase hotel rooms for people, so that alone wouldn’t be determinative to me, but with that much travel involved, I’d probably decline without regret.
Yeah, I’m curious what culture/class this is. OP – please add details!
Wealthy Indians lol
Interesting! I’m white but have been invited to two weddings in India and a bunch of Indian weddings in the US and no one has ever offered to pay for my hotel room! I feel like it must be a different level of wealth that what I consider wealthy, lol
This was my guess too lol Traditionally, you/your extended family/close neighbors would host wedding guests in your homes for the duration of wedding festivities. In today’s day and age, that has translated into covering hotel costs for close friends & family.
As a not wealthy (but financially stable) child of also not wealthy but financially stable Indian immigrants, this aspect of our culture is something I was hoping the diaspora would drop after immigrating. Instead, we seem have to added the expense and organization of American wedding traditions too (bridesmaids! bach/bachelorette parties! registries!) and created the epitome of conspicuous consumption. I hate it.
My parents and I are financially stable because we draw a very hard line about what we can/can’t afford…. it all goes out the window when it comes to weddings. My parents actually just told us they couldn’t afford to join our annual family vacation (my siblings and I all pay our fair share) because too many of their friends’ kids were getting married outside of their home state this year and they can’t miss those weddings without risking losing decades long friendships. I love the focus on family and community in my culture, but wedding expectations and expenses are by far one of the most toxic aspects.
I am surprised by this! I’ve never not had my hotel room covered at a wedding in India, and both my siblings’ weddings we paid for hotel rooms for every guests (including my friends lol or random acquaintances). It may be less common among middle class / upper middle-class though. My parents would never let me host a wedding and ask guests to pay for their own hotel.
Is it in that caste / family (Patel, I think) that owns a lot of hotels here in the US? That…. Would make sense. They’re not usually THAT wealthy, tho…
You’re making many assumptions around their motives, relationship dynamics, etc., especially when it’s regarding your husband’s friend, not yours. You don’t need to do this to make some sort of case not to go. Just don’t go. But it should be a decision mutually discussed with you and your husband rather than polling internet strangers. And I would tread carefully. Your lack of desire to travel to this shouldn’t be mixed up with what sort of standing you think he has or will have with his friends.
Agree with all of this.
This and maybe husband can go without you
Just a thought
I’d send your husband solo. Claim work conflict or whatever. Your dislike of this person and the event come through very clearly in what you’ve written. That’s fine! You don’t have to like all your DH’s friends. That said, you disliking the person shouldn’t keep your husband from going if he wants to, especially since it’s in support of a 10 year friendship. It’s a lot of money, but it also opens the door for you to do something similar in the future.
I agree with this if your husband wants to go.
This was my first thought but given that the friends have made comments about her being too good for him, I would be concerned that it would devolve into jokes about her not coming so she can cheat on him while he’s gone.
If her husband’s a decent dude, he’ll shut those jokes down; if he’s not a decent dude, her going to the wedding won’t make him into one
Honestly I DO think this is what people would say (not cheating, but that I’m not invested enough / bad wife). Obviously DH wouldn’t entertain that but I do think the groom has wanted to undermine or find flaws with our relationship since the beginning and would seize any opportunity to make assumptions. His other friend also told his girlfriend he would break up with her if she didn’t attend the wedding, since he wants to experience life’s big moments with her, so I feel it would be commented upon if DH went and I didn’t.
Honestly, all of your husband’s funds sound like douches
“but don’t hold it against you for not attending.’ But is this true in practice?”
We can’t answer this for you, nor can we answer etiquette rules, because there is a different culture in play here. It’s obvious you don’t want to go. So I’m guessing your husband wants to go or feels obligated to go?
Personally, no WAY am I traveling 24 hours one way to attend a wedding unless it’s a family member whose wedding I would never miss for anything. But again — what us people here on the internet would do doesn’t have any bearing on what your husband wants to do, or what the social obligations are for the culture/class setting in play here.
The last time I had a 24-hour travel day was flying to India and I stayed there for a couple of weeks with family. I would not want to fly that far/long for a few days for a wedding. Especially fo someone that doesn’t seem like an extremely close friend.
Does your husband want to attend? The value of attending isn’t necessarily in the friendship with the groom, but the friendships with the rest of the group. Those are the people you’ll actually be spending time with.
If DH wants to go, I’d go and make a vacation out of it, if not in the location of the wedding then in a layover location. You don’t often get many excuses to be on the opposite side of the world. Depending on time change, fly on Sunday, recover Monday into Tuesday, attend wedding Tuesday and Wednesday, then take a puddle jumper if needed to go to some cultural/historical site or beach or safari or whatever floats your boat. Or fly through some big hub like London and spend time there on the back end of your trip.
Nope sorry! If you don’t want to go, your option is just to RSVP no. You don’t have to paint them as Satan to do so!
Exactly.
For me, the $5000 (and it’s probably more) says the answer is “No”, unless this is a destination we both want to go to otherwise and we can make a meaningful trip out of it despite the midweek interruption without sacrificing some other financial priority, including a different trip. But I realize others have a lot more disposable income than I do.
There is no rule about destination weddings. You go if you want to go, and you don’t go if you don’t want to. It sounds like you don’t want to go, which is absolutely fine. Say no without any guilt.
If your husband really wants to go, he could also consider going solo.
OP here. I’d say DH does not want to go, but doesn’t want to blow up the friendship.
if the friendship blows up over your DH not spending tons of money and time to attend a wedding that’s 8000 miles away then it’s not that strong of a friendship.
Just have him say he couldn’t get the time off work that week.
My advice is to let your husband decide without your advice. You don’t want to be the one making the decision to end his friendship. Trust me.
This is your husband’s friend, shouldn’t your husband be the one to make the decision, not you? You’re looking for excuses and validations to not go, which is fine for you, but what if it matters a lot more to your husband? And also, is this this wedding 6 months away or 1 year+ away? 6 months away I would say it makes more sense to decline because it can be trickier to make arrangements, but if it’s 1 year away, this is not a logistics problem but a relationship one. Tell your husband “I don’t want us to go to Your Friend’s wedding because he’s mean to you.” See what he says.
I’ve had friends who’ve had weddings in the US because they live here now but most or all of their family couldn’t come because the family lived abroad and couldn’t come because of short notice or other reasons. As far as I know my friends didn’t resent their families for being unable to attend.
Husband doesn’t want to go but also doesn’t want to end the friendship and worries it would. Wedding is in 6 months and we just got the invite.
Does husband usually have trouble having g a spine?
This is ever weird to me. With this kind of destination wedding I assume they actually don’t even want that many people to come!
There’s no way I would go to this.
All we have here is OP’s side and she obviously hates the groom, so I wouldn’t exactly take what she says about husband’s feelings at face value.
Is there anything else you can do over there to turn it into something that feels more like a vacation for you guys? be inspired by white lotus and go to Thailand? that is the only way i would attend.
I did not attend a fairly close friend’s wedding in India (he’s half Indian-American and US born, his wife was Indian and came to the US for college, they met and settled in the US) and he has no hard feelings about it. I was actually really sad we couldn’t go and make a vacation of it, because I’ve always wanted to go to India, but by the time we got the invite we had other travel planned for the year and I also wanted to get pregnant soon and Zika was a big concern at the time. I think most reasonable people understand that for Americans a wedding in India is a different level of expense and time off work than even a destination wedding in, say, Mexico, and hopefully he’ll be reasonable about it.
I don’t believe this trip will only cost $5,000, and I am shocked that anyone would be willing to spend that much money just to keep up appearances with a frenemy.
Eh it might not be that much more than $5k. Economy plane tickets are around $1k a person but once you get to India things are cheap by US standards.
A family friend of a good friend (and client) applied for a staff position in a different office and department of my national firm. The friend/client asked if I’d be willing to talk to the applicant about the firm and put in a good word for him. I said sure, happy to do what I can. I talked to the applicant, he seemed nice enough, and I told him I have no hiring authority and don’t even know anyone in that department/office but I’m happy to shoot HR an email and say he seems nice and enthusiastic about the role. I did all that and wished him luck.
This kid will not leave me alone about the job. HR hasn’t gotten back to me, who can I talk to over there, I need to get in front of someone, when will they contact me… on and on. I’ve told him idk any more details. I’m at the point where I’m just going to start ignoring his messages, but I’m a bit concerned about that blowing back on my friend/client relationship. Any advice on how to handle?
A nice but firm email. Stop saying “I don’t know” and say “I know waiting for updates is hard and I’m glad you’re so excited about the opportunity. At this point, only HR and the hiring manager are involved in the process; I suggest following up with them once if you haven’t heard anything within a few weeks.”
This is the way.
Thanks, this is good. I’m going to leave off “follow up with them…” because that’s part of the problem, he doesn’t know who to follow up with. He submitted through some online platform/blackhole, which I understand is frustrating, but jobs are posted that way for a reason – so applicants DON’T have a direct line to pester someone. Even if I knew who was in charge of this job listing, which I don’t, I wouldn’t give out their name/info without their permission.
Your client is also the company’s client, right? I don’t see why you wouldn’t just say, send me your cover letter, resume, and job listing, and I’ll pass it along to HR. Then, mention that he’s the client’s kid. That’s what they want you to do.
You say you “shot HR an email to say he seems nice and enthusiastic about the role” but it’s not clear if you attached his resume or cover letter or mentioned the company relationship. Honestly I’d follow up on that same email you sent over a while ago.
Someone probably told him that being very persistent will get him the job, or lack of persistence means giving up.
So… maybe some kind way of communicating that he had heard some bad advice?
If this was not a client connection, I would probably just ignore this person. But HR just not responding is not a good/organized look. In your shoes, I would reach out to HR, explain that the person who referred this applicant is a client, and ask them to please contact him (yes, no or pending).
Yeah you actually should be doing more for a client than this
+1
Agreed. Like it or not, clients get preference. I’d let HR know and then be done with it.
Just a shout out for when you encounter someone in the wild who knows your movie reference :) It’s made my afternoon!
My doctor knew “no touchy” from Emperor’s New Groove and that’s so great to me.
For years and years I thought I’d know my guy because he would know the “you remind me of the babe” bit (from Labyrinth as well as an old Cary Grant movie). Spoiler alert: no one knew it.
Someone mentioned in n out the other day and my colleague said “those are good burgers, dude” and then I got to tell him to shut the f up.
Who are your favorite fashion influencers for work clothes, or in general? I feel like a lot of my old favorites have been veering Strange Old Lady lately.
I’ve been following Extra Petite and Kendie Everyday. Susie Wright and Carolyn Mirand are newer favorites.
Pumps & Push Ups
Extra Petite
Jo Lynne Shane
Putting Me Together
Dumb question, but is there a way to share an external google calendar with another organization, or copy all of the inputs into your organization?
My kid has a special calendar for his model UN stuff and i’m trying to find a way to get it on the family calendar. the public URL didn’t work when I tried to join that calendar myself because it said I didn’t have permissions.
Presumably your kid has permissions and can therefore add the UN calendar to the family calendar, no?
This should be on kiddo if they’re old enough to do model UN they can do basic admin.
right, but does he have to duplicate each event to add to the family calendar? or is there a way for him to do it in one simple way? our family calendar is itself a shared google calendar.
On your computer, open Google Calendar.
On the left, next to “Other calendars,” click Add other calendars. From URL.
Enter the URL of the published calendar.
Click Add calendar. The calendar displays on the left, under “Other calendars.”
I saw the morning post on the new joiner introduction too late to respond in-thread, so I hope it’s ok to bring it up again with my PoV.
I hated having to provide these bios, written or verbally during these icebreakers, as a single, childless person with no pets or hobbies (due to poverty and severe mental health issues). In these icebreakers, I quickly learnt fabricate harmless hobbies (nothing traceable like marathon running, but more like “she enjoyed a recent hike to Brecon Beacons” when I’ve never done either part). Having to craft a bio for a welcome email would absolutely put the cloak of immense dread on me wanting to make a positive first impression but not wanting to lie on record.
So, please don’t judge the manager- the new joiner may have held back on providing personal details for many reasons.
It’s pretty uncommon for welcome bios to include personal info though. Usually identifies name of new role and contact info.
Not the OP, but my firm has always included personal details like this. Topics usually include some combo (not all) of the following: alma mater, family, pets, hobbies, cities they lived in, crafts, gardening, favorite dessert/non-alcoholic beverage/color/book genre, etc.
My favorite was the time the newbie wrote they were single, liked long walks on the beach, and candlelight dinners. By themselves.
in my org, it’s extremely dependent on the supervisor, sometimes there is no email, or one to the team, or to the whole department, with varying levels of detail. At the end of the day, it’s just a segue to get to know that person both through small talk and through work.
Do you really not have a favorite tv show to share? Food?
It seems pretty simple to say ‘I’m a recent transplant, in my free time I like to watch the office and eat tacos’
Yeah, I think it’s very weird to say poverty and mental health issues mean you don’t have any interests. Also it’s even weirder to lie about something you didn’t do.
This! If you truly can’t come up with a hobby say nothing. Lying about a hike is deranged. What if someone loves that hike and asks you about it??
In my work setting, it would be odd to put personal details.
Something that helps people welcome you, eg newbie enjoys tacos and coffee, and I’m always up for new suggestions of places to try. (Worded more professionally)
Does anyone have an indoor houseplant VINE? I’ve had danglies but never a climber before. My friend gave me a cutting from a monstera last summer and it’s really sparse at the bottom but much denser where there’s been new growth along the moss pole — after a lot of googling I think it’s the vining kind of monstera. But I can’t figure out where to put it so both of us are happy.
Look up Sydney Plant Guy! He has some great videos on how to take care of plants on moss poles.
Anyone have any experience with Noom? I need external supervision and motivation as I try to lose 25lbs.
Yes it was super obvious and patronising in a trying-to-be-cute way. I wouldn’t do it again and it was hard to cancel. Zgym is quite good for the body weight exercises and meal plans.