Suit of the Week: Ralph Lauren

118 Comments

1. I had the best warm wool flannel pants from Ann Taylor circa 2006 that I wore with a Jcrew cashmere sweater on truly frigid winter days. The pants were wide enough to fit boots underneath and the Jcrew cashmere used to be GOOD. I miss those days!

2. How do y’all decide when to show your kids movies like Mean Girls, Clueless, etc? I loooove those movies but not sure if they’re too advanced for my 9 year old daughter in particular.

   1. Admitting that I must be one of the few adults left who has still never seen either movie, I suggest re-watching things like this without her first while pretending she is sitting next to you.

      With our own kid, we realized a number of our beloved films did NOT age well. Some were just too of-their-time to be of interest to her generation, while others included scenes we had completely forgotten about or just overall did NOT age well.

      1. Definitely watch alone before you watch with a kid. I made the mistake of watching Bend It Like Beckham with my tween, only remembering that it was about pursuing your dreams and being true to yourself. I had totally forgotten the part about the adult coach dating an underage player. Eeeeek.

         1. But isn’t that a good conversation starter? I’d rather watch that movie with my tween and discuss why it’s wrong rather than just avoid the movie completely.

            1. Depends on the age of the tween and what your goal for the evening is. It was so “cringey” that it kind of wrecked the enjoyment of the movie.

            2. Ah yeah I can see that. And fair point that tween is a big age range. I was thinking more like 11-12 (which is an age at which, sadly, some girls actually experience unwanted attention from older male coaches), not 8-9.

         2. The age of consent in the UK is 16, and these girls were probably 18, since they’re talking about university. So not underage at all.

            1. Still cringe.

            2. It would be very much against SafeSport rules, though.

      2. +1000 to a lot of movies did not age well. My kids hated E.T., Raiders of the Lost Ark, Goonies, etc.

         1. Interesting, and sad to me!

            What movies did they like at those ages? Or are there no movies that are for the whole family anymore? It’s sad if it’s only CGI superheroes….

            1. My entire family recently watched and loved Princess Bride. Ditto for Roger Rabbit (and to the extent some parts were racier than I remembered, my kids were oblivious). Ghostbusters and Hocus Pocus were also fine. I have a friend whose kid is obsessed with Back to the Future. I don’t think these things need to be complicated.

         2. B2TF was an eye-opener for us, and Princess Bride.

            Ironically, Monty Python was less problematic than we would have thought.

            ET and Neverending Story were both just too weird and boring and kids wandered away less than halfway through.

   2. I always look at CommonSense media. They are way, way more conservative than I would be, but they list everything a parent might find wrong with a movie.

      1. +1 to this. You need your own conversion factor, but mine is CSM recommendation minus 4 years. The reviews actually do a good job of reminding you of the specific sensitivities or scenes/concepts that you may have glossed over when remembering your favorites you haven’t seen in awhile.

         1. I think my conversion factor would be more like 6 years at least. CSM is absolutely looney, imo.

         2. I don’t even bother to apply a conversion factor to the recommended ages. I just look at the specific content details, which I really appreciate.

      2. I endorse this for sure. CSM definitely skews conservatively, but I pretty much ignore the age recommendations and just read the descriptions of potentially kid-unfriendly content.

   3. Considering I was 10 when Clueless originally came out and loved it, I think they’re fine for a 9 year old. There will be some jokes she won’t understand until she’s older. Just warn her that there may be some words used that are socially unacceptable now (like f*g, r*tard).

   4. 9 seems around the right age for those. But generally I take my parents’ approach that I’m much more worried about violence and anything scary than sex and language. I showed my 6 year old the Barbie movie and she LOVED it although obviously a lot went over her head.

   5. is she in 3rd or 4th grade? i think of those as maybe 4th grade, but otherwise 5th

      1. When Mean Girls first came out our moms took a group of us fourth graders to see it. The raunchier stuff went over our heads anyway.

   6. My daughter ended up in classic Mean Girls situation in 5th grade, so the earlier the better. I watched the movie with her and we talked about bullying. I also read the book it’s based on, Queen Bees and Wannabes.

      For anyone curious about the mean girls situation in 5th grade: Two of the most popular girls in class stood up, with the teacher’s permission, and said “we’re forming an exclusive club, you can apply to it, we have to decide to let you in, and we are going to do all kinds of fun activities and sleepovers and trips for club members only.”

      And somehow the teacher said “yay, girl power!” and let it all happen. OF COURSE they used it to shun the less popular kids, including every single brown kid in class. All the girls applied, and most of them got rejected. Yay, girl power!

      The worst part for me is that the moms were just as into it as the girls.

      1. What!? That is cray cray

      2. …and to add to the story, my kid was selected so it’s not like I’m salty about that. But her best friend at the time, who is black, was not. Watching Mean Girls was a great way to start the discussion on why she should leave the club/clique and support her best friend.

      3. um, wtf is wrong with that teacher

      4. I remember cliques being a thing as a 3rd grader. I was switching schools so I bought an autograph book with my allowance that year, wanting all my classmates to sign it. Still remember bawling my eyes out at home because several girls refused. Budding cool girls I guess.

   7. I recommend a rewatch first. There are a few movies that I had forgotten some of the more questionable content from.

      Hocus Pocus and Princess Bride were two other classics our kids have liked.

      If your kid hasn’t experienced bullying issues, I’d hold off on Mean Girls for another year or two. Clueless also has a number of references to $exual activity that made me decide to wait a bit.

   8. My mother took me to see some Vietnam War movies when I was 8 or so… complete with Viet Cong booby traps and all kinds of gore. That was the only time I’ve ever left a theatre. She started me young with some really odd choices…

      1. oof I can relate. My dad took me to Apocalypse Now when I was 10.

         1. Was it at least the director’s cut?!

   9. I have a 9-year-old and a 14-year-old. I would not show them to the 9-year-old.

3. I hate all my fall/winter clothes. I suspect it is because most of my wardrobe is from 2016-18. I feel blah and outdated. Any tips or items that would cost maybe $200-300, total? I live in the Midwest so layers are a staple for me. My mother suggested scarves as a way to update my look, but that feels even more outdated (sophisticated, I’m sure! But no one in my metro wears them). I’m a nonprofit HR director, in office every day, early 40s, primarily business casual outfits (no full suit required but jeans are rare).

   1. For that budget, I’d use Rent the Runway or Nuuly for a few months. You’ll get tons of fresh options without any of the commitment.

   2. Definitely don’t listen to your mom when it comes to what’s trendy!

      I think pants are probably what has changed the most since 2016. Get a few pairs of wide-leg trousers.

      1. Yeah, I totally agree. If you’re wearing pants from 2018, I bet they look outdated. Today’s look is wide leg pants, belts, and fitted tops, possibly with an oversized blazer on top. I think you could probably repurpose a lot of your tops by tucking them in, which we were not doing in 2018, but even doing that, I think you’ll struggle to get several pairs of new pants on the budget you’re proposing. You could try a department store, or one of the factory stores, or maybe a mall store if on sale. FWIW, I consider myself reasonably trendy, and I’d rock a flowy scarf with the outfit I described above (fitted top, wide leg pants).

   3. Banana Republic Factory and J Crew Factory have a lot of current looks. I’ve used them to ease myself into current fashion as well. At least part of the way.

   4. Wide legged trousers with “sock” ankle boots. For layers you could get.items like a Chanel style lady jacket, a Ganni inspired tie front style sweater or a quilted jacket in a pattern that works for your palette and style. Mohair and brushed alpaca sweaters.

      For quilted jacket I mean styles like this, in cotton:
      https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/coats-and-jackets/quilted-and-puffer/quilted-puffer-lady-jacket-in-liberty-honeysuckle-floral-with-primaloft/BA587

   5. Belts, pants, a pair of shoes. trying out different styles on Poshmark saves $. Go to a department store and try on different styles. With that budget, try 1-2 main pieces then focus on accessories.

   6. I’d take a look at the silhouettes and styles here:

      https://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/women/workwear?cid=1178917&nav=meganav%3AWomen%3ADiscover%3AThe%209-5%20Edit

      The prices aren’t going to fit your budget, but I’d look at the outfits to see which looks appeal to you. Then break down what elements are in them (e.g., loose wide-leg pants, loose pullover sweater worn semi-tucked, snip-toe kitten heel boots). Then you could start looking for a couple of outfits with those items found at lower price points. (If you shop with careful attention to fabric quality, you can find some possible “the look for less” items at H&M.)

      I’m with you and not your mother (sorry mom) on scarves. I think you’re going to get the best update by updating the cuts and silhouettes of your clothes. That has changed a LOT since 2018. In fact, the sleek look of the shoes/boots shown on that page I linked are a stark change from the lug soles that have been trending until now.

4. I don’t want to do the tired “sooo expensive” post, but at what income does one buy $3500.suits?

   1. I wondered the same. I have never spent more than $350 on an item, except my wedding dress, which was $1100. I could see myself buying a suit like this if I was running for office or on the cover of a magazine or maybe in small group meetings where I advise Extremely Rich people. I am not judging – genuinely curious!

   2. At the income level where someone else is buying your clothes for you or lending them to you?

   3. The real question is at what income level one buys a drab brown $3500 suit.

      But the real answer is that this is for C suite execs, women in high end finance, and the female lawyers and bankers who have them as clients.

      1. I’ve been looking at all of Kamala Harris’ suits – they’ve been interesting and not like plain black suits. I’m sure they’re in this range at least. Or probably custom made.

         1. Mostly Chloe, and yep, this price range. I also ponder whether she’s wearing a vest underneath for security – not to be crass or anything, I assume most presidents have to and it would be recommended. Custom tailoring is my guess too!

            1. Oh she must be. Then I definitely think you have to custom tailor the suit jacket to fit that and still not look too bulky.

            2. I assumed that’s why her jackets look so oversized on her.

            3. And Hillary in her brightly colored Dr. Evil suits. Who decided that was a good idea? But yes, I assume she had a vest underneath.

               The best she ever looked was in her white suit during the last debate. Hair was on point too.

            4. This is kind of fun

               https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/g8119/hillary-clinton-pantsuits/

            5. Oh this makes so much sense. The tailoring of Kamala’s suits drives me crazy. They are so beautiful, yet look a size too big.

   4. If you’re royalty – see the Princess of Wales and Duchess of Sussex.

   5. I am a GC and make about $500K total comp. I might buy a $3500 but it would be an extraordinary purchase that I spend a lot of time planning. It took me about a year to purchase a $1,000 pant suit from Veronica Beard. I waited until my birthday.

      1. Girl loosen the purse strings a little!

         1. idk, I still convert big purchases to how long I had to work to earn the money for whatever it is. At $500K after taxes and typical deductions like 401k, HSA, etc… that suit would be maybe a week’s take-home pay. Like did I REALLY want to park my butt in that seat for a week just for this suit.

            (For me it would be a $2200 suit that would be a week’s effort based on the above – and I’ve never thought it was worth it!)

            1. This is helpful framing. I am about to start a job making about 400% of what I made the last two years and I am trying to get a grip on how I think about money. Luckily I am in major debt from the last few years so that will automatically rein me in. (I am still far from $3500 suit territory, though )

         2. Lol, I like your style!!

      2. 500k isn’t that much if you have a large-ish home/mortgage in HCOL area and multiple kids requiring childcare (or just multiple kids in general). Our household take home pay is higher than this and I do not have the budget to buy $3500 or even $1000 suits…

         1. Just pooping in to note that $500k IS a lot, no matter where you’re located! You might not budget for suits in this range, which is fine, but you do have A LOT of money to allocate to other things!

            1. Oh dear! Popping, not pooping.

         2. This is insanity, please don’t act like half a fucking million dollars isn’t rich.

            1. Lmao thank you

         3. OMG, seriously. $500k is a lot of freaking money.

         4. It IS a lot of money, anywhere. However, I take your meaning that if you live in NYC or San Fran, and both parents work (so you need childcare), and have 3-4 kids, suits like this aren’t in the budget.

            Taxes, max out 401ks, max out any other retirement vehicles, mortgage can be in the six figures annually, food, cars, insurance, nanny (same cost or less than 3 in daycare or pre-k), student loans…. Whelp, no $4,000 suits for you.

            1. That’s very different from saying that 500k isn’t that much money.

            2. Also your 3 bedroom 2,000 sq ft house costs you $3m then 500k is not rich.

            3. Of course it’s rich. My spouse and I each make about 380k in a HCOL area, and it’s rich. And we do budget (a budget that does not include $3500 suits for anyone, I should say!), but it doesn’t matter how much my house, cars, insurance, food, and childcare cost, it’s still a ton of money. It’s not somehow fake money I never had in the first place because I spent it on those things.

         5. Lololololololol eff right off.

   6. I think it depends on how often you wear suits… I wear them virtually never, so for me I would never spend this kind of money on one even if I had infinite funds. Like seriously, if I had a $100M net worth I wouldn’t spend $3k on a suit because the value is just not there for me. But if you’re an executive and need suits often, I can see spending this kind of money on one if you’re in the $400k+ HHI range.

      1. Agree. Also, people on this board don’t hesitate to spend $3500 on a short vacation. The suit might be a better value for some people, especially for those with constraints on their ability to travel.

         1. I was literally just thinking that my upcoming trip to Seville will be less than that suit.

            1. Yeah I’m the 3:23 poster and part of why I’d never buy suits like this is I’d always rather buy plane tickets!

      2. Agree about the value. My HHI is $1mm, in finance, and I’d never spend this much on suits or similar work clothes. I grew up UMC, but never assume the gravy train will continue for long.

      3. Agree. My weakness is purses. I could see that kind of splurge (not every year but some year).

   7. I was at a Goldman Sachs event recently with lots of C-Suite execs and with very few exceptions the women were just kind of badly/boringly dressed which was baffling to me! In terms of ‘badly’ I mean fit issues, lack of tailoring, outdated silhouettes, ‘eh’ shoes. I totally get not caring about fashion but if you know you’re going to be speaking on stage why not get an outfit or two that flatters you? The senior staffers were overall much better dressed on salaries that almost certainly are not in the same ballpark.

   8. I worked at 2 top law firms (in terms of profits per partner) and each one had a stylish group of women partners who were certainly wearing suits in this price range regularly. At my second firm, most of the women partners had the same stylist and when the stylist got poached by a competing department store her prior department store tried to enforce a noncompete against her. The head of my group represented her pro bono and successfully got the stylist out of the noncompete!

      1. Ok, I LOVE this. I would 100% do the same.
         I’d consider myself an attorney who enjoys nice clothes (but in the VB / theory / etc) range, not this suit range, and here’s the thing – literally very few notice that my clothes are nice, and it has no impact at all on my legal services. I just enjoy it, it makes me happy. There’s a world in which I would have ONE $3,500 suit, but not multiple. But I’d really rather have 6 or 7 items for that money. If I bought this suit (beautiful cut), I don’t think I’d get this color – this is a winter suit and it’s too hot in Texas most of the year to be wearing this. About $340K/year all in, and my husband makes something similar.

5. Anyone here had their thyroid removed? My endocrinologist is recommending it and I’m meeting with a surgeon. I’m wondering what to expect in terms of recovery time & overall experience.

   1. My dad had his thyroid removed and I have a lot of thyroid issues myself, including Graves disease and benign nodules. My dad had his removed because of cancer, so it was very necessary. An endo once told me to have mine out but I got a different endo, who wasn’t so surgery-happy. Hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism can generally both be managed well with meds.

      For my dad, the actual recovery from the procedure was not that bad, within a few days he was back to normal life but he’s retired so his normal life is not grueling. I’d guess you want at least a week off work, if not longer. My dad had urinary tract complications from being under anesthesia so long (I think his surgery was >6 hours), which is apparently pretty common for older men with enlarged prostates. He needed a catheter for months before eventually having a radiation procedure to shrink his prostate, which allowed him to pee again. But that only happens to old men, so shouldn’t be an issue for you. ;)

      He was very freaked out about losing his voice completely which is a very rare complication of thyroid surgery, but that didn’t happen and by a month or so post-op his voice didn’t even sound that weird to me.

      1. My husband had the same issue and surgery and it was just like that. Larger issue for him was recovery from anesthesia

   2. I had half of my thyroid removed last year (the other half was still functional). In terms of the surgery, it was outpatient. I went home same day and immediately fell back to sleep. I couldn’t talk for a few days, which was unexpected, and I couldn’t go back to work for about a week. I felt pretty garbage for that week, but then was totally fine after that.

      One tip was that I found it really uncomfortable to sleep lying flat, so I slept on the couch on my back with a bunch of big soft pillows propping me up to maybe 40 degrees. Also, ice the incision as much as possible to manage swelling and pain. Finally, stock up on a few cute scarves to tie around your neck to hide the scar while it heals. It was pretty ugly looking for a while and I didn’t want to discuss it with everyone I encountered.

      Can’t speak to the aftermath of a complete removal because my remaining half was still producing enough hormones that I haven’t needed to supplement. Good luck!

      1. Glad for all of the posters who have recovered well. In addition to the advice posters gave above, if you have concerns about loosing your voice or do loose your voice after procedures, you can go to a speech-language pathologist who specializes in voice therapy. Lots of times you can seek a SLP out at an academic institution, teaching hospital, or outpatient ENT doctor’s office. The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association has a search function to find a qualified SLP professional on their website for people in the US. Other countries have similar professional organizations which maybe under names of speech therapist/speech and language therapist. Best of luck with your recovery and procedure.

6. I genuinely like this suit, and the way it communicates SF space station commander. Welcome, Earthlings.

   1. I was thinking WWII femme fatale but I like space station commander.

   2. I love it, seriously, especially because the jacket is a classic shape that is neither cropped nor oversize.

   3. I had an inexpensive but still nice version of this suit in the aughts and I loved it. It was perhaps a bit less drab in color but the cut was very flattering.

      1. Same! I had one in navy and one in grey and they were my favourite suits. (which is why I owned two of them)

   4. my favorite space commander outfits are from The Expanse — Chrisjen Avasarala’s wardrobe.

   5. Not a fan of the color for a suit, but the cut is classic. Timeless.

7. Anyone else seeing really long lines for voting? The early voting locations in my city all have crazy lines, like 2 hours minimum. I have a pretty flexible job but I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do that in the middle of the work day. There’s some Saturday voting this weekend, but I feel like that will be even worse because so many people work M-F? My state only does absentee ballots for people with special circumstances. I don’t remember having any problems like this in 2016 or 2020. I guess it’s a good thing that turnout is up but it’s really frustrating. I live in a deep red state and tbh if it were only about voting for Kamala I’d probably just say home, since she has zero chance here. But our governor’s race is surprisingly close so I really need to vote.

   1. I live in a similar state, and the lines here really vary by location. Some spots are long while a library a couple miles away will be a 10 minute wait. I’d advise trying a less popular polling spot and taking a book to post up in line on Saturday. I believe it’s by design to deter, unfortunately.

      1. We have assigned polling locations in my area. Are you able to show up wherever you want?

         1. Same. You can vote in your assigned polling area, the county election office, or by absentee/mail-in ballot.

         2. For our early voting (NC), you can vote in any of the early voting sites in your county, and like Anon at 5:13, the wait times really vary by location. We have an online wait estimator, so you can get a sense of wait time before you go. Mid-morning seems to be relatively short lines (after people who vote before they go to work, before lunchtime crowd)

         3. I’m the OP and we can vote anywhere in the county for early voting but on Election Day we have a designated polling place.

   2. Can you go right when polling opens one day? Like at 6 or 7am if thats an option. At an odd time on a weekday?

   3. Many companies allow time off to vote, and many are required by state law to give you time off to vote.

   4. Just a public service announcement to counter the notion that there’s no point to voting for Kamal Harris in a deep-red state — running up the popular vote has immense value, particularly in refuting anticipated bad-faith arguments post-election, if she wins. Happy voting all!

8. I would like a beautifully designed double wall clear glass travel mug that I can use in the car for iced coffee — so has a lid and straw and will fit in a cup holder. Is this not a thing on the market? I feel like I saw them at Williams Sonoma pre-pandemic, but I don’t see them anywhere anymore.

   1. Look at the Bodum Pavina. It comes in a few sizes. Not sure if it’s beautiful but it is functional.

      1. Gah, looks like the travel ones are plastic, but otherwise it would be perfect!

         1. A glass travel mug seems like an exceptionally bad idea.

            1. I ran through a bunch of glass water bottles that had silicone jackets before I gave up on the idea on them being functional and/or not disposable. Glass and travel for liquid vessels don’t really belong in the same description.

            2. My “travel” use is pushing a stroller on a 3 mile loop trail, so I do think I’ll be okay in the event of an accident.

   2. Here is one:
      https://lifewithoutplastic.com/double-wall-reusable-glass-travel-mug-400-ml-13-5-oz/

      This has plastic on the side:
      https://eartheasy.com/reusable-glass-coffee-cup-16oz/?sku=16BST

      Sur Le Table, pretty:
      https://www.surlatable.com/product/la-rochere-ouessant-tumbler-with-lid/8600603

      Boring looking, but pack of 2:
      https://www.amazon.com/Double-Tumbler-Insulated-Coffee-Reusable/dp/B0BKWX4NLB

      Anthropologie, not double walled, but very pretty: 1canoe2 Glass Tumbler with Lid

9. The Halloween thread is a little grinchy, so I just wanted to say that my late mom loved Halloween, especially snack size candy, and would want you all to enjoy your Almond Joys (her favorite) and Snickers (close second) and would have instantly become your second mom. Enjoy your day!

   1. Aw that is so sweet. Moms who are embrace becoming a second mom are one of the most valuable and precious things in this world. Hope you are able to celebrate her memory this Halloween.

      1. She was the absolute best.

   2. Oh it was so grinchy. Honestly if a lot of readers here just let themselves have a little more fun in life they wouldn’t need insurance tips for therapy.

      1. Ha, I’m one of the people who said I was a Halloween grinch about workplace celebrations. I’m a very happy person, have a great family and circle of friends and have never felt any need for therapy. I just don’t like forced fun at work. I like my coworkers fine but they aren’t my friends, and I don’t really want to hang out with them in a social context – I have real friends for that! And workplace costume contests are especially unappealing to me, because most of the funny, creative Halloween costume ideas aren’t very work appropriate. It can be especially fraught for women in male-dominated environments, which is every workplace I’ve ever had.

10. How are you coping with election stress? I have been so rah-rah Kamala (and feeling unwaveringly sure that she would win as a defense mechanism) but today was hit with overwhelming sadness at the reality of how close this race is. I am just so so sad about it all.

    How are you feeling? And how are you managing any feelings coming up?

    1. I’m coping by staying numb to it. I don’t know that it’s healthy, but it’s what I’m doing. I will show up and vote but all my hopes are extremely tempered.

       1. Same. :-/

    2. I’ve been really going on a news diet, including checking here much less often. I am leaning into hobbies and special projects to take my mind of things.

       1. adding to my own comment: I feel pretty scared. The societal level is one thing (I feel pretty safe in a blue state as a very privileged person), but I am on a work visa in a federally funded job that deals with climate science, so my livelihood could be affected. This also means I can neither vote nor donate any money.
          I try to acknowledge my feelings, and that they are valid but not actionable. Dwelling on this topic only has downsides for my mental health. So I try to use my objective brain, force myself to close that news tab, and also shut down political doomtalk (at home), or extract myself from those conversations sometimes elegantly, sometimes awkwardly changing the topic. When you first start, it can feel impossible to disengage, like you are in a trance and can’t look away, but you get the hang of it.

       2. I read this as going on new diets, and thought disordered eating isn’t a good way to cope with stress.

    3. Turn off the radio/tv/computer.
       Get off your phone.
       Get outside.

       I feel good when I do this.

       Donate more if you can.

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