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Coffee Break: Leopard Scarf

Leopard is big right now — everything under the sun seems to be coming in leopard print — and I've kind of been on the hunt for a new scarf since losing my beloved DVF scarf last year. While I'm pondering a bigger purchase, I feel like I need a scarf for winter, so this one from Mango seems like a good option to tide me over for now. I like that it's only $50 and looks soft and cozy and big enough to wrap around yourself. Leopard Scarf This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 1/1/25 (HAPPY NEW YEAR!):

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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129 Comments

  1. Help me, I’m getting old. I have started noticing my concealer settles into the fine lines around my nose and eyes. Is this what primer is for? Do you have any you recommend for oily skin?

    1. Following — finding that I really do have undereye circles (and bad lighting at home that disguises it). I’m in my 40s, so oily skin but undereyes probably are not dry.

      Only real shopping options are a Walgreens and an Aveda salon (that sells makeup and has a makeup artist). Won’t have time to go to a Sephora / mall stores for another week or two and I need something STAT.

    2. I struggled to find a concealer that wouldn’t settle and/or pill up. I added the Smashbox Hydrating Undereye Primer and it’s made a huge difference. Hydrating (as the name would imply) and a tiny bit brightening … works well with my BareMinerals Stroke of Light or the BareMinerals creamy concealer.

      1. +100000000 this stuff is incredible. I also use their eyelid primer which helps to hold the shadow and generally brighten and lighten up the upper eye socket area. Makes a huge difference for me for my heredity-based eye skin thinness and darkening.

    3. A blurring primer + [liquid foundation](optional) + Maybelline Age Rewind one or two shades lighter than your skin will work wonders. And make sure to only apply directly to the inner corners of the dark circles/directly under the eye and blend very lightly outward, only directly surrounding the circles. The whole cheek triangle concealer trick is for young girls mostly using it to conceal and contour.

    4. I’m having good luck with Maybelline DreamLumi touch highlighting concealer. The applicator is a little finicky but the actual product works pretty well and doesn’t crease in my wrinkles. I’m 42, and my skin is fairly oily too.

    5. FWIW there are two main causes of under eye circles: (1) loss of volume, which causes hollows under the eyes that are shadowed by certain overhead lighting and (2) actual discoloration from thinning skin/lack of sleep/health issues where the veins beneath the surface become more visible under the skin. You need to understand which one have to determine how to best address the problem.

      For me, I lost a lot of weight in my face from morning sickness, which left me with loss of volume under my eyes. Most overhead lighting causes my orbital bones to case shadows on the hollows under my eyes but my under eye area itself is not really discolored (similar to the poster who said poor lighting “disguises” her issue). The only real fix is fillers, which I tried. They were expensive and I was bruised for a week so it wasn’t a workable solution for me.

      For actual discoloration there are a variety of possible concealers depending on your skin tone. The most common recommendations are to start with a light under eye cream, making sure to apply it on the bone and not all the way to the upper and under eye lids (applying too close to eyes/lashes causes makeup to run). The apply a highlighter and a concealer, making sure to get the inner corner of your eye along your nasal bone.

      I light Maybelline age rewind for being creamy enough not to settle into my fine lines but still concealing. I apply a pink brightening concealer and blend then add the Maybelline on top. I’ve had friends that say they have better luck combatting dark under eye discoloration with yellow-based concealers, though, so I think part of this is based on your skin tone.

      The touche éclat by Yves St Laurent is supposed to be the gold standard but it didn’t seem that amazing to me for the price point.

      1. not the OP, but this is the most helpful comment on dark circles I have ever read. Thank you!

  2. Y’all: talk to me about camping. Specifically, the sort of camping where you don’t pull your car up to the campsite but hike in with all of your stuff on your back. BONUS for doing this sort of camping with grade-schoolers.

    Tips? Tricks?

    The last time I went camping, I was too cold to change out of my warm clothes into my PJs and wore the same clothes for 36 hours straight (during which I walked for ~10 miles). I didn’t want to drink stuff after about 8pm b/c I dreaded the long walk to the bathhouse at night (and b/c kids / mixed genders, the rule was no going in the woods).

    1. What’s the context for the camping you’re envisioning? Are the grade-schoolers your own kids or a bunch of kids (e.g. Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts)? And what age are we talking?

      I’m a Girl Scout leader and we were careful to build the girls up to camping during grade school. Started with a one-night campout on platform tents at a GS camp in 2nd grade, followed by two night trips (still platform tents) for the next few years. Then, we did pitch-your-own tents in fifth grade, but in a backyard. Now we could do backpack-style camping but most of the girls prefer staying in yurts or cabins. Their favorite things about camping are cooking their own meals over fires or stoves and just hanging out together. We also made sure to do the campouts during good weather: Sept. or Oct. or April or May, so no freezing like you described.

      If this is for Girl Scouts, there is a lot of guidance and training that you should probably take before you take a bunch of girls camping, especially backpack-style camping. Lots of suggestions online for meals, things to do during the day, ways to divide chores/kapers, packing lists, etc. I usually spend hours and hours planning a trip with a big group (30+ girls) but it pays off to be prepared for everything. But again, I’m not really sure what you’re looking for here.

      1. Thanks!

        I don’t know what I don’t know, other than we are joining scouts rather late in the process (so not in K/1st but in 4th) and I am from car-camping warmish-weather stock.

        Are there camping-for-dummies books or sites or blogs that would be good to read? Or just buy out the REI store and hope for the best? [The quartermaster function of this is fascinating to me — as an ex-NYCer, I swear I could buy one small bag of groceries per day on my way home; buying anything but paper towels or TP in advance is foreign to me.]

        1. I would check out if any REI’s by you have backpacking classes. I know that the ones in my city offer a class, and I have heard that it is good.

          With regards to packing, I would discuss with the other parents’ in your scouting group. No reason for all of you to carry in cooking supplies, for example.

        2. Ok, so you’re talking about going camping with a bunch of Scouts. I’m assuming that you’re not the leader, but would just be tagging along as a parent? Or are you asking about what your child needs to know?

          Girl Scouts (and I’m sure Boy Scouts) can’t take kids camping without training. So there should be some parent who has been through the training that is organizing the trip and can tell you what you need to know. It doesn’t sound like you’re volunteering to be that person. But if you are, you definitely need a bunch of training before you even consider taking a group of 4th graders on such a trip. It’s not rocket science, but there are skills that are required and organization and knowing what is feasible and what isn’t is a must. Reading a book isn’t going to cut it – you need guidance from people who plan these types of trips for groups of kids.

          If you’re “just” a parent helping your kid with this question, my suggestion would be to let the kid pack based on the list provided, but then you go through the bag with them to check that they have everything listed. And make sure your name is on everything you send. And if it says sleeping bag, don’t send a crappy cotton slumber bag. And don’t be the person who sneaks in extra food, candy or electronics. Those are the only things I can think of that might not be covered by a packing list.

          Once you get the packing list, you can head to REI, but I wouldn’t think you’d need much. If they’re going to be backpacking a good little ways, you’ll need a lightweight sleeping bag and a pad and some sort of a pack, but is there no way to borrow those? Maybe also a mess kit and stove, but again, all that should be on the list they provide you with.

        3. Honestly, your best resource here is your troop leader. He/she will have taken all the training and should have experience attending and planning these types of outings. (If this is the troop leader’s first time planning an outing, be extremely skeptical unless there is someone experienced helping with the planning. Inexperienced leaders, especially those who didn’t grow up camping, can sometimes fail to think of everything even though they have the training. At our first Girl Scout troop campout I was the only adult who knew how to build a fire, even though our troop leaders had supposedly been trained on campfire safety. The training apparently only covered how to put out a fire, not how to start one.) Boy Scouts in particular will have very specific protocols and equipment lists for different situations.

          Also, if camping just isn’t your thing, don’t feel obligated to volunteer for every trip. One of the great things about scouting is that it gives kids a chance to have adventures without their parents. I usually chaperone campouts because I like camping and can be useful, but I flat-out refuse to supervise overnights at the museum/zoo/aquarium because staying up all night at the aquarium with a bunch of giggling preteen girls is my idea of torture.

      2. I just did a Cub Scout campout last weekend. My advice is pack for 15 degrees colder than the forecast. I should have brought my down jacket but didn’t because forecast was in the 40’s. We had no sun whatsoever and it was miserable. I will not make that mistake again!

    2. What gear do you have?

      In addition to warm clothes, make sure you have a warm sleeping bag, a liner (ideally silk), and an insulated pad to sleep on. If you’re sleeping on the tent cloth or an uninsulated pad the warmth will leach right out of your sleeping bag. Then, when you get in the bag, take a hot water bottle with you and zip the bag all the way up. It can feel kind of claustrophobic if you’re not used to it but if you’re not zipping the bag all the way it won’t keep you warm.

      1. Yes to the sleeping pad (well worth it to get a thicker, slightlier heavier one, rather than the ultralight backpacking ones), and good sleeping bag. But I’ve never used any kind of sleeping bag liner, or camped with anyone who has used one, so I don’t think that is necessary. And I’ve also never camped with a hot water bottle? I’d say warm layers, definitely a change of warm socks, definitely a hat, and put on layers when you first feel a chill because once you feel cold it’s hard to warm up again. And get dry warm underlayers on before you go to bed, even if you are momentarily cold, because you’ll be warmer in the long run.

    3. Change your clothes! You don’t feel it normally, but you do sweat all day, particularly when you’re cold and in the wilderness. Once you stop moving, the sweat will make you colder than you otherwise would’ve been. Exposing your bare skin to the air for a few seconds will be worth it – I promise.

      Agree with Torin on the sleeping bag pad. Get one with a higher than necessary R-value. (So the pad will say “32 degrees” – get one that says “0 degrees.”) Wear wool socks – not cotton. Wear a hat – even to sleep. And those fantastic little hand warmers are amazing – stick one on your pocket for your hands when you’re sitting around the campfire, and stick one in your boots (if there’s room), and in the bottom of your sleeping bag. They feel so indulgent and unnecessary, but warm hands and feet make you 1000% less miserable.

      And stick your clothes for the next day in your sleeping bag to get them warm from your body. So much nicer than cold clothes.

      1. Thank you Torin and Baconpancakes — this is all good! Keep the tips coming!

    4. A good packing list is key. The Hubs and The Kid are going on their first Scout campout in a couple weeks and because the pack did not provide a list, I got one from another board that I am on. Good tips from that group included:

      1. Tarp (useful for lots of stuff)
      2. Rope
      3. Decent knives (for cutting rope, chopping veg, cutting tinder, etc.)
      4. Matches in waterproof container
      5. Long underwear, warm hats, gloves, waterproof layer (jacket and pants if feasible), extra fleece
      6. Small roll of foil
      7. Package of biodegradable wipes
      8. All the bug spray, plus sunblock
      9. Sitting pads (inflatable if possible)
      10. 2-3 trash bags (many uses), plus a package of them to put all of your stuff into when you get back to your car
      11. Energy bars
      12. Water bottles

      Good luck!

    5. My son is a Sr Weblos and camps frequently, especially in cold weather. Here’s a list of things you should have:

      Wear – wool or synthetic socks, hiking boots, pants, long sleeve top, fleece jacket, long johns or a synthetic base layer and a wind blocking layer (not insulated).

      Daypack – full water bottle, rain gear, warm hat and gloves, half roll of toilet paper in a plastic bag, hand sanitizer, flashlight, bandana.

      Overnight – extra set of underwear and socks, wash kit, personal first aid, t-shirt and sleep socks, hoody and sweats, winter coat.

      Gear – tent with ground cloth, sleeping bag with pad, mug/thermos, 2 trash bags. Optional, pillow, camp chair.

      So it’s A LOT of stuff. But get yourself to an REI and someone can walk you through the different types of gear. If you are cold/wet, you will be miserable or worse.

    6. I just got back from camping in 30 degree overnight weather and was too cold, even though I wore multiple layers to sleep (including a down jacket, and hat) and had a sleeping bag rated to 30 degrees. DEFINITELY bring handwarmers to put in the foot of your sleeping bag and make sure you have gloves for hanging out around camp.

  3. An update: last week, I posted that I was planning to mention my concerns about anxiety to my OB/GYN during my annual exam. I had the appointment this morning. He gave me a short-term Rx for Lexapro and referred to me a psychiatrist which I will follow up on. He didn’t have great bedside manner (like he didn’t express any sympathy which would have been nice), but he took my concerns seriously and helped me. Thanks to everyone here for your advice and support – I was so nervous to bring this up with my doctor.

    I’ll start the Lexapro tomorrow morning. Obviously everyone responds to medication differently, and I spoke with the pharmacist this morning when I picked up the meds, but I’d be interested to hear others’ experiences (especially if they are positive ones!).

    1. I just want to say good for you for bringing it up! That’s so scary and such a great first step. Good luck getting the care you need!

    2. At the psychiatrist, if you are not responding well to the Lexapro, request a cheek swab genetic test to see which meds will work for you. Insurance covers it in most cases and can help you avoid bad side effects and a guessing game.

      2. I didn’t know about this till recently, but it gave my psychiatrist so much info!

    3. SSRIs, including Lexapro, generally take a minimum of two weeks to work, and during that time you are likely to feel some weird side effects. (Memories are foggy, but one I can remember is yawning a lot and feeling generally twitchy). These mostly pass. It is also normal for it to take some trial and error figure out an effective dosage, so prepare yourself for this to be a process. Good luck and congrats on your work so far!

      1. Thank you! The pharmacist mentioned I am mostly likely to get nausea and drowsiness as I adjust. And my OB/GYN said it is likely the psychiatrist will want to adjust the dosage, so I am prepared for a big of tweaking.

      2. And lactose intolerance. I almost had an accident the morning after the very first dose. Be careful!

    4. I had very positive experiences with medications, and I know they saved my life. There will be side effects, so prepare for that. The benefits of taking the medication, however, often outweigh the side effects. But if a medication isn’t working for you, don’t hesitate to bring it up to your doctor – there are hundreds of medications out there to try, and various dosages and combinations with other medications. I’ve taken 4 different combos over the last 12 years. So don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself if something isn’t working.

      1. This. I was on Lexapro as my first medication to handle my anxiety, and it just didn’t work for me. Like the below poster said, don’t hesitate to request a different medication. Also, don’t let it bum you out if you don’t get the drug and dosage figured out on the first try. It can take a while to get to exactly the place you want to be. But it is so so so worth it when you get there. My meds saved my life.

    5. You may want to try starting the Lexapro at night. It can cause drowsiness. In some cases EXTREME drowsiness (yep, that was me.) YMMV, but that is the downside of a lot of anti-anxiety meds.

      If it doesn’t make you drowsy, you can always adjust the time you take it until you’re taking it in the morning. It’s just better to be safe and find out how it will affect you first before you have to drive a car or be functional at work.

      1. On the other side of the spectrum, Lexapro often causes insomnia, so I HAD to take it in the morning.

        1. I was reading the pamphlet included with the meds, and it noted that a side effect of Lexapro can be…anxiety! Hah! I’ll be sure to watch for any changes.

    6. Lexapro made me super nauseous, but that was just me — everyone’s body is different. I ended up trying Zoloft instead and it was the silver bullet that worked for me. Also, someone mentioned genetic testing. I recommend asking to be tested for the MTHFR genetic mutation. Basically, if you have that mutation, your body doesn’t have the ability to make a particular enzyme that helps SSRI drugs (like Lexapro and Zoloft) work in the brain. Luckily, the fix is easy – there’s a supplement you can take replaces the missing enzyme and helps all the pathways function normally.

    7. I responded very well to Lexipro, after another SSRI did not work (I was a crying, anxious disaster). I initially had some nausea and a lot of yawning while I adjusted, but after that I’ve been fine. Lexipro keeps me up at night, though. I have to take in the morning, otherwise I won’t get any sleep. As mentioned above, there will some trial and error involved with dosage and timing.

      Good luck :)

    8. No specific experience with Lexapro, but I wanted to encourage you to be patient in finding the right medication for you. I’ve been on various medications for anxiety and depression throughout my life and almost never stuck with the first one I tried. The cheek swab thing mentioned above sounds promising, but in my experience finding the right med has been a step-wise process of trying various options until one worked well for me.

    9. I’ve been on Lexapro since June and it’s made so much difference. I’ve had anxiety my whole life but was able to mostly manage it on my own until it morphed into widespread body pain and panic attacks. Funny enough, I was at my 19 year old daughter’s psychiatrist appointment for her to taper off Lexapro (she was on it for three years) and finally realized that all her symptoms were mine too. As the saying goes, I wish I’d done it sooner. I’ve had no nausea or insomnia. In fact, I’m sleeping better than ever (another symptom of depression is trouble sleeping or staying asleep). And I finally have interest in hobbies. I expect I’ll be on it for a while as anxiety runs in my family and aging made it much worse with my mother. Best of luck!

      1. I will cross my fingers to have as positive a response as you have. So glad you are doing better!

    10. This med helped me a lot when I was super stressed and anxious (panic attacky) from hectic work/lifestyle. Now my life is much calmer, but I will not give it up because I’ve found it evens out my massive PMS rage-fests. Like, they are negligible now, I get slightly cranky. It’s amazing and really helps me so much.
      I take at night. Don’t remember much about getting on it, other than it was successful for me.

  4. Or I guess the scouting org f/k/a Boy Scouts (now I guess Camping For All?).

    Does anyone here have their girl(s) in Boy Scouts? [Or if you had a Boy Scout brother and was dragged along to everything, any thoughts?]

    1. I was a Girl Scout for 13 years, my little brother was a Boy Scout for 13 years. I loved Girl Scouts and was never impressed by the Boy Scouts.

      This article is a decent, if imperfect, explainer for why I prefer Girl Scouts. https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/03/girls-can-join-the-boy-scouts-but-girl-scouts-is-way-better.html

      On a personal note, two weeks ago I got suckered into buying Boy Scout popcorn. And I paid $15 for a $2 bag of grocery store white cheddar popcorn. Girl scout cookies are $4/box. Ugh, the patriarchy.

      1. I hear you, but IMO Boy Scouts is right for my girls. We have cousins in an amazing Girl Scout troop but I have never otherwise been impressed other than my Brownie troop. I didn’t continue into Girl Scouts and wish I had good vibes about it. I was in a sorority in college which was a tremendous opportunity for me to develop leadership skills and philanthropic fundraising skills, but I realize that YMMV on that as well.

        As with sororities, the individual troops are where the magic is (or isn’t) and with the right leaders, you can have a great group that does wonders for youth. I don’t take issue with the Girl Scouts as an organization, but there wasn’t a great or even mediocre one for us to join. I’m not surprised — I don’t know any women, esp. women with kids, who have tons of free time (or are remotely outdoorsy) in my circle of mom friends who have daughters.

        1. The female leaders I’ve seen in Boy Scouts tend to have had an older boy, so they know the scouts drill, and then they are taking on the dens for their daughters now that they can join. I’ve met two leaders so far are amazing and I’d love for my daughters to be in any group of theirs.

      2. I have 2 brothers and had the opposite experience – my GS troop was lame, their BS troop was better. I think a lot depends on the individual troop and troop leadership.

    2. My brother was in boy scouts, and I went to some of the events with my mom. If they admitted girls back then, I would probably have joined so I could go on all of the camping trips. I loved girl scouts, and would have still participated, but it wasn’t outdoor focused at all. There may be some groups that are, which would have fit that need for me. In general, if my daughter wanted to join boy scouts for the outdoor activities and we couldn’t find a girl scouts group that participated in such activities, I would encourage her to do both.

    3. I did Explorer Scouts in high school — it was a career-focused program that is co-ed but just does career-focused stuff (no other meetings / camping / etc.).

      Venturing is for older kids (high schoolers) and is outdoors-based and (I believe) has been co-ed for a while now.

      What is new seems to be letting girls in at the Cub and Webelo level (and then, they are in women-led single-gender dens).

    4. I’ve had two daughters in Girl Scouts (the youngest is in 10th grade now) and have been a GS leader for 12 years. And I would definitely have considered enrolling my daughter in Boy Scouts, if that had been an option and it were the right fit for her.

      I like some things about Girl Scouts, but IMHO, their programming is well-intentioned crap. The requirements for badges and even for the higher-level awards are watered down and don’t require proficiency to earn the award. They have really tried to customize their programming for girls and again, the idea is great (developing girls as leaders) but they have created programs that the girls don’t enjoy doing – lots of sitting around and talking about how you feel and what’s important to you. My favorite example is that one of the requirements for the First Aid badge as a junior (4th and 5th grade) is that you should ask someone what makes them feel better when they’re sick: homemade soup? a cool washcloth? How about teaching the girls to bandage a wound or do the Heimlich? You don’t see the Boy Scout requirements getting dumbed down like that.

      I will also say that I am jealous of how everyone has heard of the Eagle Scout award. How many people know that the Gold Award is the highest award in Girl Scouting? The Eagle also requires you to have earned the awards below that, and it builds. Not the case in Girl Scouting.

      As for camping, I think the Boy Scouts do it much more frequently and more naturally. We do some with my troop, but I would give a lot to be a part of a bigger pack that has trips once a month that you could choose to join.

      But with all this said, I think the quality of the Scouting experience depends almost completely on the quality and the choices of the troop leaders. If you get involved in a troop with dedicated leaders who want to focus on the things that your daughter wants to focus on (e.g. camping, service, arts), you’ll be happy. If the troop is just checking the box or focuses on stuff that your daughter isn’t into, look elsewhere. Or better yet: become her leader and make it good! But I do think the Boy Scout infrastructure and programming makes it easier for Boy Scout leaders. My fellow Girl Scout leaders and I think that we’re good leaders DESPITE the programming from GSUSA.

      Girl Scouting is much more progressive on the LGBT front, of course.

      1. +1000 to all of this. The Girl Scout badge requirements are so lame that the girls learn nothing. Girl Scout camping programming is also weak. However, a good troop leader can create a wonderful experience within the subpar framework. Individual councils or service units can also make abig difference. Our council is terrible but our local service unit is strong, so our service unit camps and events (e.g., World Thinking Day) are actually pretty decent. And our troop leader has been de-emphasizing badge acquisition in favor of meaningful educational experiences.

        Although the Boy Scouts do have superior infrastructure and programming, especially for outdoor activities, the Girl Scouts’ basic organizational values align with our family’s values in a way that the Boy Scouts’ just don’t. My SIL, whose son refused to complete his Eagle Scout award, once described the Boy Scouts as a “paramilitary organization.” It is heavily influenced by conservative religious ideologies, and appears only to be opening up membership to girls for business reasons. The Girl Scouts, on the other hand, are all about empowering young women, understanding other cultures, etc. My daughter also prefers a single-gender environment where she doesn’t have to worry about boys literally pushing her out of the way, as they regularly do in school and in her science activities.

        1. The best girl scout leader I know is married to a boy scout leader. I’d love to be in her troop. Her girls camp and do stuff that seems very meaningful. She started as a brownie leader and moved up as her girls are now in middle school.

          I live in a big city and I don’t have concerns re the Boy Scouts in our local churches (or their adult leaders) as not being a cultural fit (but I am soooo disappointed that our Whiskeypalian church’s boy scout troop is not rolling out girls options this year; and they have never had girl scouts; guess we will toss in our lot with the Methodists down the street). [Come on Whisleypalians — you’re usually in the vanguard of things; you could have this one out of the park.]

      2. I was a girl scout and so was Rosa. We both raised alot of money for the homeless on LI, and we got our pictures taken in the local paper. That was along time ago, but I still remember Dad showing his freinds at the golf club. Back then I did NOT have dad pressuring me to get married or to get rid of all of the extra pounds off my tuchus. Life was so much easier when I was a girlscout! YAY!!!!

    5. I was in venture scouts in high school, pretty loosely, because my brothers were in the troop and I went to some of he cool activities, like rock climbing in Joshua tree, and needed to be official for insurance reasons or something like that. I think it so much depends on the troop and the local leaders. My Girl Scout troop leader was well-organized but not outdoorsy at all, so we had a fashion show but minimal camping.

  5. (I think my first comment got eaten.) An update: last week, I posted that I was planning to mention my anxiety concerns to my OB/GYN at my annual. I had that appointment this morning. He gave me a short-term Rx for Lexapro and a referral for a psychiatrist, which I will follow up on. He didn’t have great bedside manner (like he didn’t express any sympathy, which would have been nice), but he took my concerns seriously and helped me. Thanks to everyone here for your support and advice.

    I will start the Lexapro tomorrow morning. Of course everyone responds differently to medication, and I spoke with the pharmacist when I picked up the meds earlier today. But I would be interested in others’ experiences, especially if they are positive.

    1. I’ve been on Lexapro for about two years now. It has significantly improved my quality of life – anticipating ordinary interactions like client calls or scheduling conferences no longer triggers panic attacks, and I don’t lie awake at night replaying the day over and over and chastising myself for an awkward interaction with the barista that morning. I still have a pretty anxious temperament, but the medication brings me a level of calm and confidence that I used to only be able to get by drinking alcohol (obviously a less healthy way to cope, especially at work).

      I have had some issues with side effects, particularly sleepiness (I’m fine driving, but on a weekend day when I should be doing errands/housework but have no pressing deadlines, I can easily sleep 12-15 hours a day). But for me it’s well worth the trade off.

      1. What I would give to not lay in bed and replay my day, questioning the smallest of interactions. I hope meds will help me with that. I appreciate your advice and will watch for the drowsiness.

      2. This comment makes me wonder if I need to try something for anxiety. I go to therapy and take wellbutrin, which definitely works for me in lots of ways, but does nothing for my anxiety.

        1. I take an anti-anxiety med in combination with my antidepressant. It really makes a difference.

  6. Please talk to me about your favorite paint colors! I’m in the happy process of deciding how to paint our new house, but Pinterest, while inspirational, is driving me crazy with all the color options. I keep changing my mind. Colors that I’m thinking about – Stiffkey Blue, Grey Owl, Dove White for the white… There are 3 bedrooms in this house. I might just paint them all a neutral (Grey Owl) or something else? I could use some inspiration for the nursery and the boy toddler’s room. I’m not afraid of something different, but I have toured some houses during the home buying process that went too crazy with the bright paint for the kid’s rooms. If I don’t make some decisions now, I’m positive we will not change any paint colors after we move in…

    1. Wythe Blue will forever be a favorite for me. It’s a perfect blue/gray/green that shifts in the light.

      1. I love Wythe Blue. My shutters outside are that color with the bricks painted Agreeable Gray. I love it!! Also, Sea Salt by Sherwin Williams. It is a light green-blue. My built-in china is that color.

    2. I’m renting and the owners of the condo we’re living in did a grey in the living room/ kitchen/ dining room, a white in the stairs and hallway, and a subtle very light blue in the two bedrooms. It looks so nice together, I love it and will probably steal a version of it when we buy our own place.

    3. I prefer more traditional colors, and some of the recent winners we had (after I spent hours and hours searching)(All from Benjamin Moore)- Lenox Tan, it’s an incredibly rich and beautiful shade of golden tan. Makes our living room look so much richer and nicer than the white that was up before. Antique Jade – an incredibly beautiful, true jade color that we used in our master. Would also look nice in a study or a bathroom. Only warning here is that it has a yellow cast to it, so it looks best with true white accessories and not ivory accessories (the light bounces off the paint and makes the stark white furniture look a little creamy white, so I think with true ivory, it might look too yellow). Quiet moments–I used this in a hallway and a bathroom when I ran out of color ideas and panicked. Both areas don’t have any natural light and both look different based on our bulbs. One pulled more gray-blue and the other pulled more true blue. I also like Night Train for a bathroom w/o natural light. I also looked at Dior Gray but Dior Gray pulled too purple in my artificial lighting, while Night Train pulled more Teal/gray. I forget my office paint color, I think it’s Bashful which is a light true pink on the walls but not too much. Pulls a little brown and looks good with my ivory office furniture.

    4. Pick up a Pottery Barn catalog, or look at their catalogs online. Flip to the middle and look for their paint swatches. The current catalog has a good selection for the house.

      Pick the 4-5 that feel good to you – a few lighter ones and one darker one for drama, and their white. You can get those color-matched with your brand of preference. (I literally took the catalog to my Home Depot and they knew how to get those exact shades. Then choose from that palette to paint your entire house. It’ll look coordinated and sophisticated without being too matchy.

    5. You can google “whole house paint palette” plus “gray owl” to find a bunch of collections that look good with that color. Some even list what colors would be good in which rooms. Just pick one that looks good to your eye, get some mini pots from your local store, and then paint a swatch. View it in midday light and evening light to see if it still looks good to you. If not, google again and try a new set of options.

    6. I just went through a paint color choice and ended up with Benjamin Moore Pale Oak. It’s described as greige (grey/beige). To me, it’s a perfect neutral between cool and warm. Light and airy but with some presence too. Good luck!

    7. before you do anything, go to Maria Killam’s website (Google her). her advice will save you $$ and keep you from hating your choices

    8. I love the Wythe Blue color (from searching online, not personal experience).

      A thought on kids’ rooms: rather than a bold wall color, consider other large decor things that are easier to change. We had large wall clings with a skyline of [important city to us] over Kiddo’s crib — white clings against a blue wall (that came with the rental), and now we have a huge world map tacked up on one wall (over a neutral greige/green color that came with the house we bought). There’s a push-pull in my heart between “she’s a kid! her room should be fun!” and my own, grownup, preference for more neutral, calm decor in bedrooms. You can also consider a fun rug (one of those that has streets and towns and stuff you can drive toy cars through?!), tapestry-type hangings, etc.

  7. Can anyone provide the best way to determine in-house counsel salary range at Kemper? I’ve checked glassdoor, but not sure of the accuracy. I’m trying to get a ballpark number, so any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.

    1. Check out the Robert Half surveys and also the Lawyer Whisperer blog to get a good ballpark. Everything varies though, so aim high!

  8. I have a bunch of miles on my mileage card, but my travel is all either work or to take a family of 4 to visit family is really obscure domestic airports (one we can get to via direct flights; one always requires connecting and flying on a different airline).

    I feel like it is easier to just buy tickets for family travel (vs dealing with redeeming, esp. for four seats). I used to just use the miles for gift cards to Target. I have 100K miles now and work travel is ramping up.

    Is there a good thing to do with miles that is easy when you don’t have enough to use on anything like Hawaii, etc.?

    2. Which card do you have? Many of the mileage cards allow you to book the travel through them and pay the remainder with cash, so you can use all your points and end up spending very little on actual tickets. I also just use points for hotel instead of airline if not enough for flights.

    4. I’ve cashed in hotel points for Amaz0n cards and Macy’s cards and been glad I did.

  9. I think many people go wrong in choosing oversaturated colors in kid’s rooms and it ends up looking garish. But, if you pick a color that is less saturated it looks nicer – think FB oval room blue versus a random bright blue from the color strip at a paint store. Beware of Pinterest, people always oversaturate their photo so colors are usually lighter than in real life and some people just pin rooms that look like a color instead of actually being that color. Stiffkey blue is nice but is very navy, if you want a lighter blue like in some of the Pinterest pics, their new shade De Nimes might be more true to that.

    1. Are you looking for a meal or just something to set out? If the latter – spicy pretzels (I’ve also seen them called firecrackers). In a big gallon ziploc, mix one pound pretzels (or club or oyster crackers), one cup canola oil, one packet ranch dressing mix, and 2 – 3 teaspoons red pepper flakes. Let it marinate for 8 – 12 hours, toss the bag over every once in a while. Spread in baking sheet, bake for 20 minutes at 300 degrees. ADDICTIVE.

      1. Just something to set out! This sounds awesome. What kind of pretzels do you usually use?

        1. I prefer to use the Snyder’s of Hanover brand but any kind works. I swear the windowpane squares taste better than the rods but it might be my imagination :) People will inhale these. You might want to make two batches.

          1. SOH windowpane pretzels are the bomb. Use them in the Chex Mix recipe that’s on the back of every box of Chex cereal for the last 30 years for the best snack ever, IMO.

            Also, your recipe for seasoning them is pretty much spot on. Heat them up a tad for better coverage.

            *once upon a time worked there and have tasted (many, many, many SO many of) them directly off the line. Those things are amazing.

    2. Pulled pork, store bought rolls, cole slaw ( I buy the pre-shredded cabbage and carrot mix), large bowls of fruit. If anyone is vegetarian/vegan, I also make a pot of vegan drunken beans. The pork and the beans can both be made very hands-off in a crock pot or pressure cooker and can very easily be made in advance and reheated, as they reheat well.

    3. Cheese board. I keep fig jam and a spicy relish in my fridge/pantry “just in case”. Pick up a bleu, a gouda, and a soft cheese (either brie or chevre), and 2 types of crackers (one plain and one flavored – maybe those rainforest crisps if they’re on sale). If any of the guests are vegan, one of the cracker options is vegan.

      Caprese salad skewers. Cherry tomato, those little marinaded mozzarella balls from TJ’s, and some fresh basil, drizzle with balsamic.

      Meatballs, preferably the mini kind, thrown in a crockpot and covered with whatever sauce I’m feeling.

      1. I feel like such a Costco pusher, but if you like the raincoast crisps, there are Diva’s Delightful Crackers at Costco that are very similar at like 1/4 of the cost.

    4. Chicken thighs in the crock pot with some kind of sauce dumped on top. Cook for 6 hours on low then shred. If I want to do a taco bar then I dump salsa on top. Serve with a variety of tortillas and toppings. If I want to do a BBQ theme, then dump BBQ sauce (I like Sweet Baby Ray’s) and serve with Sweet Hawaiian Rolls and toppings like coleslaw. I usually have sides like chips, fruit, etc.

  11. Does anyone know of another skirt that fits like the Loft shift skirt? I figured out that this is a much more flattering cut for me than a pencil so I want to buy more of them, but I don’t love the patterns and styles Loft has. I just want the that kind of fit in a basic black or grey skirt!

  12. Cheer me up as I’m waiting for all the last minute people to send in their e-file forms on this horribly stressful day!

    What good and happy things are happening in your life?

    Mine is I ordered my very first lego set. It was gigantic and and expensive (the Parisian Restaurant set), but I had so much fun putting together one with my daughter that I bought myself one and it’s getting here today. :)

    1. I hosted an open house this weekend fully expecting that no one would show up and DH and I would have all of the cheese and wine to ourselves.

      People came, we had a great time, they had a great time and we know some more people in our building, area and increased our little circle of friends in this new city

      1. Were you the one posting about an open house in LA? Happy to see it worked out so well!

      2. I’m so happy the open house was a success! Were you the poster from last week who was a little worried about it? Regardless of it you are or aren’t, I’m glad it turned out well and kudos to you and your husband to throwing it!

        1. I posted about it a month or two ago. I was very encouraged by everyone here who said to throw one anyway and just see what happens. I did post about the event here last week but didn’t get to meet any corporettes.

          Already trying to plot another party

    2. I recently went on my yearly apple picking trip and got one my favorite fall treats: apple cider donuts! They are so good, and I’m trying to make them last for as long as possible.

      1. I also had my yearly outing to get fresh apple cider donuts, but I am NOT trying to make them last ;-) I’ll buy more from the grocery store, but they won’t be as good.

    3. Aren’t legos the best? I got the Big Ben set (Creator series, ages 16+) and spent the next 2 days putting it together (my thumbs were so sore).

    4. At a wedding this weekend someone snapped a really great photo of our family–the only one in the past several years where all three of us are smiling real smiles and don’t look weird. We are even wearing artfully coordinated outfits. Christmas cards should be a breeze this year.

    5. I jus got a box of candy in the mail from my new employer – and, oh yeah, I have a new job! I posted a few weeks ago about not getting paid due to a major cash flow crisis. I didn’t panic or really worry too much after the initial shock, and it’s all worked out – a competitor is purchasing my employer and I received an offer last week to stay on after the sale. AND I’ve received all my back pay.

    7. I love that you ordered a lego set for yourself. I did a small, easy one with my niece, and seriously enjoyed it. Have been eyeballing the clearance section at Target hoping for a discount to get one of the big sets for myself, too!

      And, continuing my current ‘feel like a kid’ theme of happy things: I’m starting to plan a Disneyland trip! Husband has an event in LA next summer. We’ve been to LA a few times recently, but on this trip, we’re foregoing our usual haunts in favor of Disney…just because.

  13. Has anyone bought the Everlane Day Boot that can speak to how it breaks in? I bought this and have been wearing around the office. (Have not worn outside or without tags.) It did not seem tight when I first tried it on, but it is starting to tighten around my bunion area. I’m wondering if these will break in over time, or if I just need to give up on these. Thoughts?

    1. I don’t have the day boot, but I have a low heel from Everlane — and it’s the most regrettable shoe purchase I’ve made for that price. The dang things won’t break in. I have skinny feet and those heels are still painful around the bunion area. I did size up, fwiw.

    2. I have them and they’ve been perfect from day 1. I am generally very sensitive to blistering, etc., but have not had an issue at all. The first few wears I was on my feet all day at conferences too.

      Maybe they got wet or damp and the leather warped?

  14. Favorite wrap to combat office temps? I’m looking for something white, tan, or light gray for around $50. Thanks!

    1. The Barefoot Dreams cardigan at Nordstrom is worth the cost. Although I’ve posted it before and some people have said it’s too casual for their office so YMMV.

  15. What is the best way to compare salaries for mid-size law firms? I’m looking at an offer but have no meaningful way of evaluating it because I would be moving from a very small firm to one much larger so not sure it is apples to apples. Billable requirement is not the same either. Do I just need to ask around? On that note, if anyone lives in Austin and works for a mid-size firm, I would love to know what you make and what year you are. Anonymously, of course.

    1. Not a perfect formula but you should be typically be making about 1/3 your target billable hours x your hourly rate (if you have that info). This has been true at both firms I worked in before going in-house (one had a 2.8 ratio + bonus formula, but you get the idea)

      1. This is so interesting. Where did you hear that? Is this common knowledge among recruiters? Does it apply to small law firms too?

          1. Same. Though we also have the same hourly rate for all associates. I don’t think big firms keep the same hourly rate for all of their associates.

          2. My salary was less than 1/4 of that formula at the small firm I was at. And we had different hourly rates per associate. My rate increased quite a bit in the three years I was an associate…. but my salary didn’t.

      2. +1
        The idea is 1/3 is your salary, 1/3 is for firm overhead, and 1/3 is firm profit…but obviously it’s not a clear breakdown all the time.

        1. I’m at a small firm and my salary is a little more than 1/3 using that formula. I’m a “senior attorney” not technically a partner but just as important as the “junior partner” in our firm to firm economics. I make $160,000 for billing 1500 hours (and then a bonus for extra hours). Putting it out there because I believe transparency is important and wish more people would do the same as women tend to be underpaid.

  16. Just want to give a shoutout to LOFT – I placed a big order there recently. They were running a 40% off sale promotion so everything was super cheap, but the pieces are really nice and very comfortable. I worked in a business formal office for a long time so I kind of forgot about LOFT, but their stuff is perfect for my new casual side of business casual office.

      1. I was surprised how well it fit me! For reference, I’m really tall (5’11”) and relatively slender (145 pounds), although I had a baby earlier this year and still have a soft belly and wider hips, so maybe it works well for people with that shape. I cut the curvy Marissa fit in the pants I ordered.

      2. I want to like it, but I have a hard time buying things because the material feels weird to me. It’s not as bad as Target, though.

  17. any advice on job hunting and networking when you’re not really sure what you want to do next? i’m not a lawyer, but I’m well compensated, working in the public sector doing project management, operations, data analysis, business analysis work with previous experience in government affairs. I’m willing to do any of those things as a next step, either public or private, just dying for a change. i’ve been reaching out to contacts and setting up coffees, and those convos have gone well, but I’m not sure what else I should be doing.

    2. You should consult with your boyfreind and see if you can get married and work from home. You can then relax at home rather then do what you have been doieng. Good luck to you!

  18. My favorite thing to do in new cities is explore cute shopping areas on foot. With your car, I would travel to Ballard. There’s plenty of shopping in boutiques along the older strip of Ballard Ave as well as the main drag, and plenty of food options.

    Capital Hill is also an option for a walk ‘n shop, but it’s dirtier and more run down and full of homeless than Ballard. It’s fine and there are some nice shops, but I prefer Ballard when I want to walk around casually.

    Or, West Seattle and Alki Beach is a nice afternoon. Great views.

    Another option is taking the ferry to Bainbridge Island and walk around the downtown. Boutiques, food, ferry ride.

    Have fun!

  19. We hired someone, because too many choices, and we seriously ended up with ten different shades of grey in the house. Bedrooms were Fitzgerald Smoke, Gray Spell and Whisper Ridge. The room that is Gray Spell has a magenta accent wall. The other two bedrooms (the Fitzgerald Smoke) are accented in red and teal, but not an accent wall (through bedding and decoration). I can’t remember why the 4th is a different color, except that it has a ton of light.

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