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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Levanzo Dress

If money were no object, every article of my work wardrobe would probably come from The Fold.

This silky jersey dress somehow looks both floaty and tailored — perfect for a hot summer weekday. I think this would look great with a well-fitted white blazer and some bright pumps for a perfectly pulled-together outfit.

The dress is $295 and comes in sizes 2–12.

This Maggy London dress is similar but a bit more on the casual side; it's $79 and available in sizes 0–14.

Sales of note for 12.5

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

225 Comments

  1. Anyone up for helping me with a student loan question this morning? I’ve discussed this with two financial advisors but they have not been much help.

    I graduated law school in 2011 and did IBR until 2015, so I have about 4 years under the program. I switched jobs to a quasi government role which I was originally told qualified, and then the department of education told me it did not. I have stayed on IBR because I was making a lowish salary when I started. My loans are still huge – almost 300k at 7.5 percent interest. The covid stop has been a godsend because for the first time I have a fully funded emergency fund. I have always held out a little hope that this job might qualify for public loan forgiveness but I think the chances are slim. I think it’s also probably not worth it to continue to wait to see what biden does with loan forgiveness. If he does anything , it’s probably not worth still having a 7.5 interest rate.

    SoFi is offering a 15 year plan at 2.8 interest with payments starting in September, making payments 2k a month which is doable for me. I’m daunted at having another 15 years of payments, but I think this is better than trying to do the 25 years of payments with the rest forgiven but owning taxes on it. But I would love some advice, it’s been hard for me to think of giving up the federal protections but I think it makes sense too at this time

    1. Do your 4 years of prior IBR count toward PSLF? Can you re-apply/appeal the determination that your quasi-government job does not apply? With that loan balance, I would seriously consider moving to a job that definitely does qualify for PSLF and finishing up the 6 remaining years, assuming the first four counted.

    2. For that amount of loans, it’s worth it to find a job that is eligible for PSLF, before you consider refinancing and losing your federal protections (and with it, the ability to be eligible for PSLF, I believe).

      1. I have tried but have been unsuccessful so far, except for jobs that pay half of what I am making now. The first four years should could towards pslf. I tried appealing it when I first got the decision but was unsuccessful. I have toyed with our organization asking for a ruling but the chances are pretty slim

        1. I believe you had to get annual certifications for your prior job to count for PSLF. If you didn’t, I would see if you can retroactively before making any decisions. You need to know if those years count.

          1. You don’t need to have but it does make it easier to keep track of your eligibility. When I finally submitted a form four years in, I realized 1/3 of my loans were the wrong type and refinanced (within fed). Saved me a lot of heartache to find out before 10 years were up!

        2. Re paying half of what you should— be sure you add in the loan forgiveness to this equation. Divide $300k, less payments but plus interest, over those six years. Could be an extra $50k/year. And your IBR payments would be lower with a lower salary.
          I’m not an accountant but have done a fair amount of research into PSLF as I am also trying to qualify. The verification process has gotten easier of late and I would try again to check if your previous experience qualifies. This is nothing but a guess, but I’m hoping the current administration is trying harder to help out people applying for PSLF than the last.

      2. One other wrinkle – I am about to have a baby so don’t love the idea of starting a new job

        1. I did! I have been a public defender for my entire career and after 12 years, my $90,000 in law school loans were forgiven. It took a lot of fighting with FedLoans and happened 2 years later than it should have (though one year was during the pandemic pause on payments so didn’t really matter), but it is real!

          3. I only know one person who successfully had this happen and it also was a battle.

            Another friend of mine who is in state government did recently have her $100k forgiven by applying for some limited funding program that was perhaps related to PSLF? She applied, forgot about it, and woke up one day to a zero balance. It was amazing and I am INSANELY jealous.

            Definitely the exceptions, not the rule!

        2. No, it’s not a scam. It’s real, and it’s possible to get your loans forgiven (check out the PSLF reddit form – people post their success stories every day), but it’s a 10-year-long program with a lot of hurdles to clear, and it passed in 2007 so the first year of possible eligibility was 2017. In the last couple of years they’ve worked out a lot of the kinks and even tried to address some of the borrowers in OP’s shoes who are hitting roadblocks related to their first few confusing years. I’m not a shill for the government, but I am two years away from forgiveness and confident that I’ll get it based on years of researching this program and its requirements. It’s complicated, but it’s not a scam.

    3. Caveats: I was not in public service, a bunch of my loans were private, this was years ago and I had 1/3rd your loan balance but equally high interest rates. My private loans were also cosigned by my husband.

      I refinanced w/ SOFI and was shocked at how fast I was able to pay off my loans. With the much lower interest rate, so much more of my payment went to principal and extra payments also went right to principal. I included my federal loans in the refinance (though the majority were private) but at the time, SOFI offered some of the same protections as federal. They did not offer IBR but they took no cosigner, with the loans forgiven for permanent disability or death. I do not know if that is still the case. They also had hardship forbearance for job loss and their own career center to help you find a new one. Again, no idea if that is still the case.

      On the IBR piece, I know so many people that have been screwed over. One of my best friends was on PSLF and her lender told her to refi to either consolidate her loans or get a lower interest rate, still within the federal program but failed to tell her it restarted her PSLF year count or made her completely ineligible, I can’t remember which. Check the forgiveness statistics. Few people have actually been successful getting it. You are also right to be concerned about the tax liability on your forgiveness (if not PSLF). That still has not been fixed by congress.

      When I signed up, SOFI was also doing a referral program where I got a bonus ($200?) for using a friend’s referral link and they got the same. No idea if I still have my link but I can try to look.

      It’s a huge decision and you are smart to weigh all of the pros and cons.

      1. This is incredibly helpful. I do have hope that I would be able to pay it off sooner, as starting this year I will have some bonuses as well that I could use to pay chunks of principal. My current salary as of recently is 180k. For the first time, I think my IBR payment will be pretty close to that , probably around 1800 as opposed to committing to the 2000. When I started working my salary was only 50k so this is what is making me seriously consider refinancing now

    4. Hello fellow borrower, I have about $20k left on my loans and have been paying my payments during the payment moratorium just to keep knocking down the principal (although I did skip this month’s payment, the first I ever have, because my son’s getting braces this month).

      I agree that Biden is likely to do nothing with loan forgiveness – he signaled his reluctance to take action all the way through the campaign, so no one should be surprised. If he did act, the upper limit that I heard tossed around was $50k, so you’d still have a lot of loans left even if that amount was forgiven. You didn’t say what your IBR payment is now, or what your salary is, and that info would be helpful. You say the $2k payment is “doable” for you but what is your monthly take-home income?

      I’ve always felt the federal protections are so good that it would take a lot for me to refinance with SoFi or one of the other refinancing companies and privatize my loans. Not the least of which is that if I die, my federal loans are forgiven and my family wouldn’t be burdened with repaying them (which wouldn’t be a hardship for them between what I’d leave in assets, insurance + investments, but I’d rather have that money go to my family and not loan repayment). With your loan balances I think that’s a consideration – it’s unlikely you’ll die but it can happen, and if you don’t leave enough assets to pay off the loan your family will be hit up to repay (depending on the terms). I understand the allure of lower interest rates – we refinanced our house to drop our mortgage interest by a point last year – but it’s always the tradeoff of, what are you giving up to get that, and loan forgiveness, the ability to go into forbearance, situations like this last year with the payment moratorium (that, as I understand it, private loan holders did not get), IBR, PSLF, etc. etc. are worth it to me. Even though I have never actually used any of those programs. If I need them, they’re there and I don’t have a private company breathing down my neck wanting their payment every month whether or not I have a job. The sensible thing for the government to do, if Biden doesn’t agree with forgiveness, would be to drop the loan interest rate to something reasonable, but I am not holding my breath on that action either.

      I would like to hear from others here who had that high of a balance, because if it were me owing $300k, very honestly I would be very tempted to pay slightly over the minimum for 25 years and budget to pay the taxes on the forgiven balance when the clock runs out. The rationale being that the amount I will owe in taxes on the forgiven balance is unlikely to be anything close to what $2k a month for 15 years adds up to. But, I am unlikely to make much more money than I do now (near 6 figures but not over) and the calculation is different for lawyers, especially ones who could make over $500k a year like some folks here. I also don’t know what the life impact of having that high of a balance is. At no point was my student loan balance an issue for any lender of any money I’ve ever wanted to get – car loan, mortgage, mortgage refinance, etc. I have an 800 credit score. If not knocking the balance down will hold you back from life activities like buying a house, that definitely needs to be considered.

      1. I’m not sure you are correct about your family being on the hook. If you don’t have a cosignor, when you die, your estate is liable for your debts. If there is no money left in the estate, the debt doesn’t get paid. They can’t just go after random family members. If you mean you are trying to leave money to family and don’t want your estate to have to pay your debts first, that is a different story. I would talk to an estate planning attorney before making any decisions. There may be workarounds like homestead exceptions and trusts to protect some of your assets.

        1. “If you mean you are trying to leave money to family and don’t want your estate to have to pay your debts first, that is a different story.”

          This is what I meant, and my post actually did say that, but anyway. I don’t want the money in my estate going to pay off my loans; I’d rather just have those loans automatically forgiven upon my death. In my case, the $20k of loan payoff would be a small portion of what my heirs would receive between my life insurance payoff and my assets, but I don’t want *any* of the money that could assure my family’s security going to pay off my student loans.

          As an FYI, my BFF’s husband is an estate attorney and he has had private lenders go after family members for student loan balances when the estate settlement wasn’t sufficient to settle the balances. Same with outstanding credit card balances. The family members don’t have to pay, and if they refuse to pay the companies eventually drop it, but in one case, one of the families he worked with got collection calls for over a year before they were able to get the company to stop it. The legality or likelihood of recovery is not what drives the situation; the lender sells the collection amount to a collection company that is counting on pressuring people to pay. If they recover 5% of what they go after, they consider it successful. Apparently a surprising number of people will actually pay off their family member’s debt when they have no obligation to do so; that’s what the collection companies count on.

      2. Why would you pay slightly over the minimum? That seems pointless. Just save that extra money to cover the tax bill for forgiveness.

        1. Psychological satisfaction that I wasn’t paying “just” the minimum. Things like that matter to some people.

    5. I am not in your specific situation, but if I were, I would refinance. It sounds like you’ve looked at the numbers and options and it’s not an obvious move to stick with a low paying job in the hopes of loan forgiveness. Unless you know you want to be in public service for the next (? many) years, it sound slike you have a good paying job you like.

      Keep the job, refi the loans, pay them off in 15 years or less and put it all behind you. If you get a raise, put that money toward the loans.

      For me personally, having the earning power (180k+) for the long term and no stress of the “will they or won’t they be paid off” for the PSLF loans >> what is probably 10-20k (maybe) of upside. Factor in the inflation/raises alone of 3% a year starting at 180k vs 50k over 15 years.

      FWIW, when DH refi’d with SoFi years ago, he kept his federal loan protections. I am not sure if that’s still part of the package. We are 37 and his 100k of business school loans was refi’d under SoFi and we worked hard to get them paid down quickly. My I diligently chipped away at my 80k of Ugrad loans earning 30-40k/year and had them paid off early. It’s not fun but it can be done.

      1. Thank you – I appreciate it. I think this is where I end up. I will throw all bonus money and extra raises at them and hope to get this done sooner rather than later

  2. What is an appropriate “holy sh*t you changed international law, I am so proud of you” gift? My only thought is to get the convention made/bound into a coffee table book. This is a really big deal and I want to make it special. Bubbly is already taken care of. You always have such great ideas!

    1. I love that coffee table book idea. Or if there’s an image or item that would be associated with it, getting that framed.

    2. YMMV but I don’t necessarily like gifts that are so literally tied to the accomplishment. Like – I received beautiful earrings from my parents at law school graduation.

      I would personally have more fun being taken to a splurge dinner in the cuisine of the new country (the chef’s tasting menu at our favorite Italian or French places, for example) or choosing a piece of art for my office or something.

      1. oh I may have misread the accomplishment – as in they amended an international law, that is awesome! – but still wouldn’t have something to do with a coffee table book of the law in question.

        1. The reason I was thinking it might be good to tie the gift to the actual accomplishment is because it’s just so big. This is a rare accomplishment that fairly few people have so it seems special.

    4. Personally, I’m a big fan of diamonds for personal accomplishments. Whiteflash has some lovely options for bracelets, hoops, studs, etc. Or pearls – check out Pearl Paradise. My last thought would be a watch. Cartier has some lovely options but they start at 2.5k which is quite pricy. Hamilton and Tissot have some nice models for women around $500, however.

    5. I’m dying to know who your friend is. I have no real recommendations, unless you’re close enough that you’d like to take them away for a weekend or for a spa day.

      1. My friend is just a regular policy staff for an international government and was the delegate for negotiations.

        2. I wondered if we had the same friend; mine just led the team getting UNDRIP implemented in Canada. I vote framed art.

          2. The Canadian bill related to UNDRIP has not yet passed in Canada (bill c-15).

    6. When I was part of something similar I framed the front-page newspaper it was on and some other mementos from the experience, and have it hanging up in my house. Most of my colleagues have something like that framed and hanging up too.
      I really like this coffee table idea. A framed picture of part of the experience could also be good. She also probably needs to relax now, so anything for that, like a massage or facial would be good.

    7. Or instead of a coffee table book, a beautiful regular-sized book to go on the bookshelf, and the newspaper article or the title page of the convention framed to go on the wall.

      1. +1 to title page of convention framed. I have a bound version of my dissertation, purchased for similar celebratory/commemorative reasons, that I have never once looked at. It’s not exactly browse-worthy reading.

    8. Get her a coffee cup/sunglass case/any object she would use. Personalize it with an engraving/print/decal that says ‘Total Legend’.

      1. I would never in a million years use something like this (it would makeme cringe so hard), so YMMV

  3. I’ve been cold-messaged by a recruiter for the first time. I’m not particularly looking to move in the immediate future but I’m not averse to finding out what my skills might be worth on the market – can I just tell them that?

    1. Yep. “I haven’t been actively looking to move, but your message intrigued me and I’d be happy to hear about opportunities that may be available.” or something.

    2. If the opportunity sounds like something that I would be reasonably interested in, I always talk to the recruiter about the position. If nothing else than to gauge your market worth.

      1. I agree, as minimun is information about the market but also that is the way I got my current job,
        the recruiter was looking for position in an specific international location. I told her the job sounded interesting but that I was not looking for to relocate. That I would only consider it at some point but only to return to my home city. She asked me if she could contact me in the future. I said yes and 4 months later she call me again with the same position in my home city. I only did the interview bcs my BF pushed me “Its only an interview”, then “Its only an offer”.
        Only be carefull about sharing your CV. You do not want it circulating around if it is not the right moment for you.

    3. If they’re a corporate/in-house recruiter, I’d say there’s no harm in taking the call. They won’t be upset if you ultimately decide not to pursue the role. If it’s an agency recruiter, I’d avoid them, because even if you make it clear you’re not actively looking, you’ll end up in a database and they’ll keep calling about other roles, or calling you once every few months to see if you’re on the market.

  4. What’s the best online site to shop for (locally available) secondhand furniture these days? Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace, NextDoor? Are there other options I’m missing?

    1. Personally I’d google consignment in your area. I’ve found it’s still competitive prices and higher quality brands.

    3. My little house is fully furnished, but I LOVE browsing Chairish. They have a lot of stats on the pieces, so you’ll have exact measurements, and they quote shipping costs up front, or you can search by zip code. Not everything there is crazy fancy expensive.

    4. In my experience this depends where you live. Different cities have different popular sites. In my city it’s mostly FB marketplace and Kijiji, no Craigslist or anything else here. If you know what you’re looking for and have the knowledge to spot a good deal buying directly from a person (vs consignment, antique fair, or a store) will usually net you better deals. I recently got a 8*10 antique wool rug for $100, which would easily go for $2k at a knowledgeable antique dealer.

      1. Note this was not for unique pieces. We are talking baby dresser and patio furniture that will likely disintegrate sometime in the next 2 years but got us through the pandemic.

    6. Also high end estate sales. I feel like that’s probably the best source but you have to be patient and wait for the thing you want to come around.

      1. Estate sales!!! It requires patience but so many good deals to be had. If your city has a nice historic district or area with more affluent but not modern homes that will be where the best items are.

  5. If you have the washable silk from Quince, do you hand wash or put in the washing machine? Sadly I only have apartment building machines with no hand wash cycle.

    1. In your circumstances, I would handwash, taking care not to rub or wring the fabric. Roll up in a towel to soak excess water out, flat dry would complete my approach.

      1. +1. I like Soak no-suds detergent. I rinse even though it says you don’t have to.

        1. Soak is an absolute godsend! And I have one of their wash basins, it’s been very handy.

    2. If you can be sure that the wash AND rinse temp is cold, I would put it in a lingerie bag in a regular cycle (in my building this is the Brights setting). This is how I do all my delicates, including silk. In my building the delicate cycle actually uses warm water, and I ruined a sweater that way.

  6. I have what I think is the final interview for what seems like my dream job this afternoon! Good vibes and interview tips happily accepted. :) I want this so much it’s hard to think about anything else!

    1. Tell them explicitly that you want the job. Every time I’ve included “I hope you hire me…” I’ve gotten hired. You can play coy hardball on salary, etc. once you have the offer, but when it’s a job you really want there doesn’t seem to be any downside to being open about it.

  7. I’ve been interviewing for a position that would be a significant step up. I’ve had two interviews and completed a personality interview/online assessment. It’s been 8 days since I heard from the company, and they are supposed to have a final round of interviews with their president. Do I reach out to the hiring manager to see if I am still moving forward or do I wait it out?

      1. I appreciate that advice. I am just getting itchy because I really want the job! I sent thank-you email to both interviews and he replied “We are just finishing up interviews and testing and hope to be scheduling next steps this week.” That was last Monday. I get the feeling that he is looking to move much faster than their internal systems allow. I will hold tight and cross my fingers! Send good vibes my way!

      2. Another point about hiring this time of year: Tons of vacation. Tons of graduations. Tons of people taking a couple half days for X,Y, or Z. We’re hitting a lot of unexpected delays in getting things approved up through the chain because of the time of year.

        1. +1. Hiring takes forever at the best of times but this is an especially tricky season.

          1. And especially this year when lots of people are taking time to do things they haven’t been able to do for a really long time

          2. Yup. I would double any estimate you’re given as far as timing expectations, particularly because (1) it’s summer, and (2) it’s THIS summer.

        2. Also tons of parental leave. Everyone was locked up for over a year and apparently forgot how to use BC. Every time I turn around, someone’s out for a new kid.

          5. The NYT article is about 2020. I would not be surprised if birth rates are up in 2021.

          6. “The NYT article is about 2020. I would not be surprised if birth rates are up in 2021.”

            Doubtful. Birthrates have been trending down for years and hit an all-time low last year that is likely to dip even lower this year. It’s cute that you want to use pure conjecture to back up the baseless statement you made above, though.

          7. @Curious – I agree. I’m guessing (no hard data) that a lot of people that waited in 2020 because of the uncertainty ended up trying late 2020. Now add them to all the people that would try in 2021 unrelated to the pandemic. 2021 will likely be an extra high birth year.

          8. It’s way too early to know the stats from 2021, but it appears that it will be slightly higher than 2020 but still following the downward trend that has been going on in the US for years. To the extent you know a lot of pregnant women/new parents, it’s a lot more likely that it is just the stage of life you are at and the average age of your co-workers. Just like it seems like everyone is getting married during a few years in your 20s/early 30s, it seems like everyone has babies at the same time.

        3. I think a lot of businesses are also gun shy about the economy. We don’t really have historical data to go on for a post-pandemic year. I have been scouted for two jobs, got all the way to the offer stage and both employers got cold feet. They have assured me they are not hiring anyone else but they just aren’t sure they are ready to expand and that they want to give it a few months and will get back to me. At first I thought it was a me issue but then I’ve heard of friends dealing with the same thing either hiring or trying to get hired. There is a ton of work but a lot of fear about budgets and it drying up. I also think there is some fear about a second wave in the fall and what that will do to certain industries just getting back on their feet.

    2. I appreciate all of this advice – and the importance of keeping timing in mind with summer/vacations/paid leave/etc. I will stick with my gut feeling that the hiring manager wants to move quickly, but things beyond his control are getting in the way. Like the poster earlier this morning, I was approached by a recruiter for this position, so I didn’t know how much I wanted a change until I became invested in this new opportunity.

      Cold feet and economic uncertainty makes sense too. I know that there is a vacancy in this position due to the current person being promoted, so they are definitely wanting to fill the vacancy.

  8. Given yesterday’s discussion about Amazon, I wanted to mention that there was a NYT investigative article about them today. Link to follow

    2. Thank you for posting this. Amazon is bad and people really need to stop trying to make excuses about why their convenience is worth more than someone else’s life.

      1. +1. I strongly suspect Amazon was selling counterfeit N95 masks made from probable forced labor in the Xinjiang region. I even sent a tip to the NYT about it at the time. That on top of their abuses and tax avoidance domestically? Time to avoid at all costs.

      2. Or, I wish people would just be honest instead of trying to make justifications / lying to themselves. There are people who don’t care about labor conditions or animal conditions. Just own it instead of pretending you are somehow the exception. I’ve been trying to do that myself, even if not out loud. Like, I am buying this camping supply from Amazon right now because I’m too lazy to go to EMS to get it and I care more about my convenience and budget than I do keeping businesses open and labor conditions for Amazon workers. There are other times my calculation will be different and I’ll go to the store but in the meantime, I’m at least being honest with myself.

        1. I agree with this too. Am I perfect? No, far from it. But I need to stop lying to myself and making justifications for why my crappy decisions are okay, especially when it’s pure laziness stopping me from doing the right thing. That’s wrong and I need to own it.

        2. Agreed. I’m not vegan because I enjoy dairy more than I care about factory farming. I’m not proud of it, but it’s my decision at this time. Etc.

        3. Yes! People are so dedicated to virtue signaling but constantly are making excuses as to why XYZ is an alright exception. Of course nothing is perfect, but just own that you actually don’t care in ABC situation about whatever ethical issues there are with whatever convenience it is that you want at that moment. Good grief.

        4. +1 to this. I’m a strict vegetarian because animals/animal rights are very important to me. But labor conditions don’t upset me as much. I don’t feel great about it but at least I can accept it about myself.

          1. gosh i will never understand people who think animals are more important than humans. I guess it takes all kinds!

      3. Ugh. This sort of attitude is how corporations win. I rarely use Amazon but I also don’t pretend that my Amazon alternatives aren’t without problems. I get that consumers do have power to direct their dollars but there’s a limitation to that power. I really wish instead of focusing on how individual people should do better (I’m not saying that many people can’t do better, just like most people could also lay off some air travel and make environmental improvements or consume less meat or whatever virtue signaling activity of the day we want to pick), people would focus those advocacy efforts on government officials. Sure, convincing me to stop using my already limited Amazon isn’t going to hurt anyone but it’s probably not going to make a huge difference but using the time it takes to post here to convince people to stop using something to instead write to your congressional representative or your state legislature would be a much more effective way to make changes that actually benefit workers or the environment

        1. ‘virtue signaling activity of the day’…. It’s not virtue signaling if you actually make meaningful change in your life. Its only virtual signaling if you post those stupid instagram graphics without doing real activities.

          1. Meh I disagree. Virtue signalling can also be a behavior. Going on a rant about the evils of straws at lunch after a hike where I saw you drink no less than three disposable plastic water bottles is a good example. Talking about the evils of Amazon and implying anyone who uses it is a terrible person while paying for expedited shipping from multiple other companies regularly and using Walmart regularly would be another. To clarify I’m not saying the poster was necessarily doing this, just pointing out that many of the actions that people tend to latch onto are part of a much larger problem that extends beyond the one specific change they have made and feel good about and push on other people to feel morally superior without actually solving the underlying problem. Look we can and should all do better. But the power of any of us as individuals is pretty limited. If you are really serious about making changes the much more efficient route is lobbying

          2. Yeah, the term “virtue signaling” is so dismissive. It’s not fair to apply it to someone who is actually implementing the value in question, for example, significantly reducing air travel for environmental reasons. Usually it just means “they’re making a change that I don’t feel like making, but know it’s a good thing to do….so I’ll denigrate them to keep myself comfortable.” See also the pejorative “do-gooder.”

          3. Lots of people both lobby and lead their lives for example. It’s not one or the other, that’s a logical fallacy, a false dilemma.

          4. If people also lobby then why do I literally never see posts here about supporting certain bills, signing petitions or calling elected officials and see at least once a week someone posting that such and such is bad?

          5. Anon at 11:49, I see that all the time. People often post scripts or requests to call your representatives about important issues.

          6. I was specifically referring to the river company related posts. I have never seen a script or a post about anything specific to that company’s practices. Feel free to prove me wrong.

        2. Thanks for saying this. We will all do better if worker protections are law. See yesterday’s commenter’s points on Target and WalMart labor practices and small businesses not paying above minimum wage. Amazon is a popular target but boycotting doesn’t tend to change corporate behavior unless it happens en masse. It often takes fewer people to change a law.

          1. (full disclosure: as I’ve stated here many times before, I’m an Amazon employee. My opinions do not in any way reflect those of the company. Judge me as you will; my commentary on getting companies to change mostly comes from climate organizing.)

          2. You get more people to join a boycott about posting about it online and engaging people you know in real life. I never understand why people act like personal actions and lobbying for government action are mutually exclusive. Personal action drives all other action.

          4. Hey, Anonymous at 11:17, do you actually have a job? I wonder about that a lot, with some of the posters here.

          5. Anon at 11:14 maybe because many of us know lots of people that actively post stuff like this on social media (or other political things) but don’t even vote. So I’m skeptical that people posting stuff like this are actually also taking political action.

            Even if we achieved a boycott of Amazon and it caused them to change practices (high high target), it wouldn’t do anything for low wage workers at other companies.

            By all means feel free to convince people not to shop at Amazon, just recognize the impact of that isn’t likely to be huge and ask yourself if there’s a better way to achieve your goal. And clarify with yourself exactly what goal you are working towards

          6. What jumped out to me was that 75% of Walmart managers started as hourly employees, but Jeff Bezos believes people are inherently lazy and employees should be encouraged to move out as they become “entrenched”. Really depressing and I don’t agree with the whole laziness argument.

          7. I would never claim that Target and WalMart are prefect, but they are a lot better than Amazon. Both Target and WalMart like long-term employees, gives raises over time, and promote from within. Amazon stops raises at 3 years and does not hire managers from within the company – it has more than 100% turnover in the warehouse in a year. No where that has the vast majority of their employees leave within a year can claim to be a good employer.

            The multiple people I know who work at Target and WalMart like their jobs, have been there for 5+ years, and work complaints are general to the problems of being in a customer service position. That’s not what I hear about Amazon. I don’t hear horror stories about Target or WalMart’s warehouses (but acknowledge that may be because it is covered in the news less and I don’t personally know anyone who works at their warehouses). No, Target and WalMart are not perfect. But Amazon is a horrible employer to their hourly employees.

          8. @11:17 – Curious is a regular poster here. Not someone dropping in to defend Amazon.

          9. This implies that Amazon conditions/situation are remotely close to Target/Walmart. They are not. Walmart and Target can be crappy employers but Amazon takes it to a whole other level and that is well documented. So tired of ‘other retailers are just as bad’. They are not. They are not great or even but they are not Amazon levels of awfulness.

          10. Personally, I find it appalling that these large, for-profit companies pay their employees so badly that the companies essentially get subsidized by the government in the form of healthcare and food assistance for the workers. There are Amazon fulfillment centers in Europe, there are Wal-Marts in Canada. These corporations can be profitable companies even when they have to pay living wages or (horrors!) deal with unions.

            This probably makes me a bad liberal, but I was most appalled by the descriptions in the book Nomandland of the contractors that ran campsites. It sounded very dangerous and exploitative. Amazon seemed like a better place to work in comparison.

        3. Correct. I don’t use Amazon very often either (Costco.com FTW) but let’s be real: a few privileged women from one website ordering less or stopping ordering from Amazon is not going to make a difference the way that regulatory action will make a difference. Conversations like the posts above are all about virtue-signaling. People like to talk about how much they don’t order from Amazon because it makes them feel better; it has no net impact on Amazon’s business at all (go check their 2020 sales figures if you think I’m wrong; better yet, let’s wait until after Prime Day and see the reported sales figures and figure out whether all the finger-wagging and shaming of people is having an effect).

          I would love to understand more about the complex psychological motivations people here have for posting about this issue over and over and over when I think the general consensus here has been that Amazon is not a good company and it’s best to give other companies your business if at all possible. I have not seen anyone here be like “whoohoo, I love Amazon! Yay Amazon!” The conversations I’ve seen have been really helpful for me in terms of people talking about how they source items from other places whenever they can; I’ve ordered from some websites people have listed as Amazon alternatives. You’re correct that those companies also have their own issues (I don’t pretend for a second like Costco doesn’t have any problems). But somehow, every time this topic comes up, the idea that “okay folks, I think we get it that Amazon isn’t a great choice for spending your shopping dollars” gets lost, and people act like everyone here is an Amazon stan.

          Anyway, I guess it’s way easier to post on Corporette about what a great person you are for not ordering anything from Amazon and that you just spent five hours walking ten miles, uphill both ways, through a blinding snowstorm in the middle of June to buy a phone charger than it is to talk about real solutions, like encouraging the efforts that have started in Congress to limit the monopolies the FAANG companies have in the marketplace. The few hundred or thousand people who read this blog are not going to make any kind of meaningful impact in reducing Amazon’s market share, but given that some of us have big jobs or are politically connected, political advocacy might actually make a difference.

          1. Thanks for posting this – also, if anyone does have petitions for legislative initiatives, please do post those here! I’ll happily sign. I’ll also happily call an elected official if you post a script and a description of what official I should call (e.g., senator, congressperson, state legislator, mayor, city counsel member). Please give me an action item that isn’t “stop doing this terrible thing that even if you stop doing it won’t actually change anything”

          2. I’ve gotten lots of great ideas specifically from this site about how I can make better choices in my purchasing, ranging from glass Tupperware to used cars to sustainable clothing and more. You can choose to be negative and pessimistic about it or you can take steps in a positive direction.

          3. “like encouraging the efforts that have started in Congress to limit the monopolies the FAANG companies have in the marketplace.”

            And this is the crux of the issue. The presence of a monopoly makes it difficult and/or expensive to find alternate sources for goods. Browbeating people for buying from a monopoly is counterproductive. I prefer to actually say that it IS hard to find alternate sources (and Amazon is making it hard for their vendors to sell to other companies), which is exactly why the company is a monopoly that needs to be broken up.

            You cannot, on one hand, tell people that it’s plenty easy to find other sources for their products, and on the other, that Amazon is not a monopoly.

          4. Ah, the old “I can’t change an entire industry so any change in behavior is merely virtue-signaling” argument.

          5. I’ve also gotten lots of great ideas here on changes to make and enjoy those posts even if I elect not to make the change. This post isn’t one of those. The call to action here is don’t use Amazon, which isn’t particularly helpful or useful. If you want people to not use Amazon at least post about what you do instead

          6. “Ah, the old “I can’t change an entire industry so any change in behavior is merely virtue-signaling” argument.”
            Changing behavior isn’t virtue signaling, but posting repeatedly about how great you are for changing your behavior certainly is. I also have deep suspicions that many of the people breaking their arms patting themselves on the back for avoiding Amazon avoid it as much as they say. Usually when people do something and they feel good about it? They don’t need to talk about it all the time. They just feel satisfied with their choices and move on with their lives. This constant need for reinforcement and accolades signals to me that there’s some insecurity there about their choices. If that’s you, sorry the shoe fits.

          7. Or mayyybe people are so happy they’re making a difference and they want others to do it too.

      4. I am reading the (very excellent book) How the Word is Passed by Clint Smith, which is about American chattel slavery. He makes the point that although it’s comfortable to think about it as a uniquely Southern U.S. phenomenon, and to think the people who actively participated in it were uniquely evil, people in the North and even in Europe depended on the products of the labor of enslaved labor, and it helped built wealth for people across the globe. It made me think there’s an uncomfortably close comparison to all that cheap stuff we’re all buying on Amazon.

        1. In the 90s, when I was first learning about slavery and the bigger story at the time was about foreign working conditions, I had a similar thought about the parallel.

        2. I agree with this but would expand it to include all the cheap stuff we buy in general.

          Cheap, meant to be disposable consumer goods are the problem whether they are sold by Amazon, Walmart, Target or your corner retailer. Which is something to keep in mind the next time we have a discussion on this site about how those sandals or these jeans that were fine 2 years ago are now hopelessly out of fashion.

          I find it curious that at least once a week we have these long “I hate Amazon” posts but also have “what is trendy this season” posts even more often and nobody ever seems to point out how those are two sides of the same coin.

          1. Actually, we’ve had several instances lately where a fast fashion pick (like a $20 dress from Amazon) has been posted and commenters have requested for that to stop.

          2. But it’s not just fast fashion, buying new anything every few years just because it is out of style is really terrible for a host of reasons. The fast fashion options may be the worst offenders but really consumerism in general is problematic

        3. This is all so true. I’m currently reading Debt: The First 5,000 years and it’s a fascinating look at all sorts of things related to debt and money, and it talks a lot about slavery throughout human history.

        4. SA I agree with you on the parallel and it is also uncomfortable to me. I’m glad for the (impression I have at least) that a lot of the G7 discussions about limits on open trade are to try to improve labor conditions WW. And in the US… Labor is complicated (my mom was part of a teacher’s union and has very complex feelings about it) but it’s clear we have a huge wealth disparity and a huge contract labor force and an NLRB / court system not really set up to protect workers, especially part time and low wage workers. We need to fix it across the board.

    3. Thanks. I’ll also repeat my plug for the book Fulfillment. Very deeply researched. It inspired me to bring my use of A-zon from little to none.

      1. Will check that out! Ppl can both post here and message their congressional reps. Conversations with friends (even internet friends) matter on changing peoples views and behaviors. And then they tell someone else etc. The More You Know. and all that.

        Some of the posts about Amazon here caused me to pause and look at our use. It took a little prodding re DH but he’s also on board with little to no Amazon. Our recycling box is grateful that the steady stream of packages is gone and we have saved money by not constantly ordering on every whim.

  9. I’ve posted about job searching on here a few times, and I finally have good news. A couple of weeks ago I got rejected for a very cool job. I thought the interview went really well, I felt good about it. The rejection hurt a lot, I felt like I would never get out of my current job that I really dislike.
    Last week I interviewed for another very cool job… and yesterday I got the offer. I am so, so, so relieved. Thank you to everyone for your kind words of support as I’ve navigated this process.

    1. Congrats!! This gives me hope – I just got rejected for an amazing job yesterday and I’ve been so bummed. You’ll be great!

  10. Here’s a low stakes Tuesday morning question I want to put to the hive: As it is getting hotter and I will be spending my third trimester from now through end of August, I am considering trying linen sheets for the first time. I usually use jersey sheets and love the feel of them for the soft texture against my skin, but something more breathable might be better. So, those of you who have had or tried linen sheets:

    a) Worth the hype, and if yes, recommendation for the ones you like best
    b) Whether yes or no, what are your favorite sheets for sleeping cool during the summer?

    Thanks!

      1. +1
        Cotton percale has the crispness and breathability without any roughness. 100% cotton percale will be crisp and so smooth it’s almost slick.

      2. +1. I totally splurged on Parachute linen sheets, but regretted it. The linen was rough and actually felt heavy in warm weather. Cotton percale FTW. Use a dryer ball to soften it up, and you don’t need expensive sheets.

      3. +1

        I am a very hot sleeper and I love cotton percale. They’re more crisp-feeling than other cotton sheets but that appeals to me.

    2. Definitely worth the hype but if smoothness is important to you, that might be a deal breaker. I’d get a few pillowcases and see if you like it? I just bought the La Redoute ones on sale and love them, but would like to splurge on the Secret Linen Store ones for my second set.

    3. We live in a hot climate (Southwest) and nothing keeps us cool at night like linen does. We splurged on the linen sheets from Brooklinen and they are worth every penny, I am splurging again this year on a second set in a different color. Makes a world of difference when the temps get high like they are this week.

    4. Jersey sheets are clammy! I’d switch to cotton percale for the mix of smoothness and lightness.

    5. Target has a new brand of linen sheets that we’ve really enjoyed this summer. They are pricey (~$150) but not as much other vendors. I definitely notice that when we have the linen sheets on the bed, I don’t wake up in the middle of the night sweaty compared with high thread count cotton.

    6. Honestly, get a fan to blow on you – that is the most effective thing for me. We have linen but I don’t notice it being hotter or cooler than cotton percale. If decide to take the plunge I would try just a linen top sheet to start – the fitted sheets wear out a lot faster, and for the price, we’ve found cotton fitted sheet + linen top sheet and cases is a good compromise. Linen gets softer with age, but brand new it can be a bit scratchy.

      1. My husband has to sleep with a fan on because of tinnitus, and as a result I have to run a humidifier year-round so my sinuses don’t dry out. I’d prefer not to sleep with the fan if we could.

    7. Looove linen. Lands’ End linen sheets are the softest and they’ll send you a swatch. Also have Eileen Fisher and Target; Target is a bit rougher for sure but cheaper (Threshold I think).

    8. I recently took a chance on those CozyHouse bamboo sheets that are advertised all over social media, and they’re fabulous! I bought a second set! Now I’m slowly phasing out the old modal sets we’ve been sleeping on for years.

    9. Absolutely worth the hype for us, but everyone has a different opinion on this. I first tried Eileen Fisher ones on sale at garnet hill and they were ok. Then someone gave me a gift of a set from Linoto (brooklyn-based, minority-owned shop) and they are amazing. As in, I gave away all my high-thread count cotton sets and have been slowly replacing them with Linoto. It’s gorgeous Belgian linen with a heavy hand, so they are perfect in the summer in keeping things cool while still providing a bit of weight.

  11. Until yesterday, I’d forgotten how terrible it is to wear professional clothes in the summer. It was 95 degrees and I had an in-person event. I wore a sheath dress and blazer. Kept the blazer off until I had to put it on, but I worked up a sweat just walking from my car to the building. The building was warm inside but I felt obligated to keep my jacket on because the men were in suits. Meanwhile, I could feel the sweat dripping down my legs; I really hope nobody noticed. Then the rest of the day I was wearing damp, clammy clothing.

    I get to repeat this tomorrow at an outdoor memorial service. The forecast high is 96 degrees. Way too hot for June, if you ask me.

    1. Unlined cotton and linen only for me, for business clothing, when it’s this hot. Those acetate or polyester linings in “structured” business clothes kill in the heat; they don’t breathe at all. I figure I would rather look a little wrinkled than have rivers of sweat pouring down my back and/or legs. Talbots has generally had more-structured linen or cotton pieces in the summer although sometimes I have had to cut acetate linings out of things.

    2. I’m in Texas and agree! Add to that many go-to cool professional outfits don’t fit (thank you pandemic weight). Also the air in my building is unstable; sometimes it is blasting and sometimes it is very warm so removal layers are the only way to adjust. I’m on the 12th floor and can’t open a window. Ugh!

      1. OP here, and yeah. I have a few cotton sheath dresses that I like, but they are too tight to comfortably wear right now. Working on getting rid of the pandemic weight gain … blech. But it sounds like maybe Talbots could fix me up.

    3. Shorts underneath can help with the dripping sweat issue. You might be hotter but it will be less obvious. My personal concern is butt sweat. If it’s hot enough, I’ve got it and I don’t want that showing through my dress or pants.

    4. Way too hot outside, way too cold inside.

      It certainly doesn’t help that I’m living in August heat in June. I wasn’t prepared for this yet!

      1. Yes! It got real hot, real fast here. It’s still warm today but thankfully less humid.

    2. Is this for at home or at work? If home, I find a cushiony mat (often targeted at kitchens) to be far more important than shoes.

      1. Same advice. I found some article that ranked mats for standing desks and bought the one ranked number one. It was about $100.

    5. Either work or home, you need a mat for sure. At home I often just go barefoot or in slippers. If at work, I keep a pair of flats at my office to swap into if I’m in pumps (I like a pair of black Rothy’s but really anything slip on that looks OK for the office would work).

    6. +1 to gel mat and +1 to clogs. I wear Sanita clogs at home – also great for the kitchen.

  13. I have many hours of driving, a long plane ride, and 10 days on/near beaches coming up. I know this has been covered recently, but can’t remember where. Looking for podcasts/audio books to keep me entertained in the car and books to keep me engrossed on the beach. Recent podcast favorites include Winds of Change and the Dropout. I like books that are engrossing but not too heavy or too light, including fiction, historical fiction, and non-fiction when written with a human touch (love Candace Millard, for example). Thanks in advance for any suggestions!

    1. Recently listened to The Thursday Murder Club and it was great! Currently listening to The Midnight Library (narrated by Carrie Mulligan) and so far it is great as well!

      1. I thought The Midnight Library was meh. I finished it, but don’t heartily recommend it.

    2. If you liked Winds of Change, I highly recommend Patrick Radden Keefe’s book Say Nothing. He has a new one out about the Sackler family, but I’m still on my library’s hold list for that one. I think Say Nothing would be great as an audio book. However, neither book will be light or beach read-y, so you may want to save them for later.

      1. Say Nothing is a fantastic book. It might be the best non-fiction book I’ve ever read.

      2. The new book on the Sackler family is great! It’s not exactly light reading, but it is really good and I never wanted to put it down.

    3. For podcasts, try Noble Blood. Someone rec’d it here ages ago and I haven’t shut up about it since.

      1. Thank you! As the parent of two pugs and someone who also appreciates bourbon, this recommendation get special weight. :)

    4. An Oral History of The Office is a fun 12-part podcast about the TV show. Hosted by the actor who played Kevin, Brian Baumgartner.

    5. Coming back again to recommend “Under the Influence” which is a CBC radio podcast. Many episodes – all delightful. Your trip sounds wonderful, btw.

    7. We enjoyed David Sedaris’ Calypso on a recent roadtrip to the beach. It was just under 6 hours (if I’m recalling right), but so so good.

    8. Late to this thread, but here a few fiction titles that are reasonably light and held my interest:

      Finlay Donovan is Killing It
      The Psychology of Time Travel
      My Latest Grievance (basically, anything by Elinor Lipman woud fit your request)
      Daisy Jones & the Six (not quite as light, but absorbing; the multiple narrators are great)
      Squeeze Me
      The Hours in the Cerulean Sea (I really, really loved this book)
      Behind Closed Doors (a thriller, if that’s up your alley)

  14. Does anyone have a recommendation for an Endocrinologist in the DC area? I’m in Bethesda but can go anywhere in the area. Looking for a second opinion on possible thyroid issues. TIA!

    1. I used to see Dr. Melissa Loughney in downtown DC, and would still except my insurance changed. She has a great bedside manner and is very thorough.

  15. I was late replying to your post Thursday re speaking engagements. I organize these sorts of events in your industry and would be glad to talk if there’s a burner email to reach you at.
    In general, I see law firms eager to bring in clients to speak on panels be it at their own events or industry programs they sponsor. There’s a real focus on finding diverse, new voices as well. And as much as we are all sick of webinars, it’s a really easy way to get your feet wet seeing as there’s no travel involved.
    Speaking is a great way to build your own brand as well as your firm’s and it is often a virtuous cycle – once you get on the circuit you are more likely to be invited back.
    Panels can also be a lot easier than having to prep a formal presentation. I personally, really like to moderate as I like to be in the driver’s seat. And any time I moderate, I share a sample script in advance so that panellists can be well prepared and not in a gotcha- type environment.
    So I would encourage you to follow this interest!

    1. Thanks for following up! I definitely want to start in a panel environment. I wouldn’t say I have social anxiety, but I am not an experienced public speaker. I’m also going to be working as a mentor attorney for a law school clinic, which will help me get a little outside of my comfort zone.

    3. jim_kris.e78b01bf [at] nicoric [.] c0m is my new burner. I hope this comment posts…

    4. I have a ton of public speaking experience, and I find moderating panels the most difficult thing to do. You have to know the subject matter well and be able to synthesize what the panelists say on the fly into follow-up questions or discussion. For a novice, I’d recommend either the type of panel where she gets to prepare a short statement or responses to questions in advance, or a formal presentation.

  16. Applied for an inhouse job at a big F 500 that could be a really good fit and is in a specialty practice area where there aren’t always tons of candidates. It’s only been a week but I’m antsy to hear something — knowing full well that I may never hear anything, sometimes those postings are required but go to a pre selected applicant etc. Like who knows if I’d get the job but I’d love even a first round. A few years ago (3-4?) a recruiter at this company had reached out just finding me on Linkedin; I ended up doing one call with HR and one with the exam manager but didn’t end up applying because that job wasn’t the right fit. Would you reach out to that HR person now? IDK if that HR person is even involved with this position as this job is hiring from an office that she isn’t based in, and it’s not like I know her beyond just a Linkedin connection. What would you even say if you were to email HR?

    1. You should definitely reach out and tell her about your interest in that position. It may very well go nowhere (which is what has happened when I’ve tried something similar), but it’s worth trying for sure. IME, for these in house jobs, if you don’t have someone passing along your resume directly, it can be pretty hard to even get a phone screen. So any connection you have is worth pursuing.

    2. Hi X,

      A few years ago we had connected on an opportunity at Company. It wasn’t the right fit at the time, but I remember being impressed by the company and your professionalism. Recently, I found New Position and it seemed like a great match with the right timing. I know it’s been a few years but I thought I would reach out and see if you could point me to the relevant recruiter (hopefully of your caliber) for this position. Thank you.

      Brief, factual, flattering, ask for what you want.

      1. Agree but I’d leave out “hopefully of your caliber” and ” your professionalism” – it’s overkill.

  17. Can we get a list going of snacks you eat for fiber? Oatmeal is my go to when I feel like I need more fiber, but I don’t like it that much so it’s getting old and I feel like I have a few more months of this — I feel like fiber/feeling backed up is an issue for me every summer.

    1. Not exactly what you asked but I have good experience with drinking soluable fiber in the am. It gives me the daily dose and I don’t need to worry about eating fiber-rich snacks during the dy (I don’t snack).

    3. Salads for lunch all summer. Berries. Homemade granola bars. Switch all your rice to brown rice and pasta and bread to whole-grain. Bake with white whole wheat flour.

      1. Not OP but this is pretty much how I eat and I still don’t get enough fiber (usually less than 20g / day).

      2. This. And while it’s not exactly what you asked, be sure that you are drinking plenty of water and getting adequate movement in your day – those also help me!

    4. Chia seeds.. i put in overnight oats or smoothies more than i do chia pudding. For a smoothie… i do spinach, avocado, chia, some berries, and almond milk. Some kind of chickpea item.. roasted chickpeas or chickpea salad with cucumber and tomatoes. Popcorn. Fiber one bars in a pinch. I look for higher fiber bread, and do some kind of toast like avocado or hummus…

    5. I just started adding flax seeds to my yogurt, and eating more air-popped popcorns as a snack. I’m aiming for 15-20g a day and it’s really hard to get there. I’m also taking a Vitafusion gummy fiber supplement.

    6. I usually snack on raw veggies and hummus. Veggies have lots of fiber. Apples also have a good amount of fiber and are fairly shelf stable

    8. popcorn! not the microwave kind. airpop would be healthiest, but i like to make on the stovetop with a little coconut oil.

    9. Dried fruit has a ton of fiber! Look for dried cranberries with as little sugar added as you can, also dried mango is basically like eating candy.

    10. As a long-time constip-ted person (TMI, I know), I’m not sure why this is more of an issue in the summer for you or why you’d have “a few more months of this,” but in any case, I discovered what works best for me is having a bowl of either raisin bran, or my new favorite – bite-sized shredded wheat cereal with a handful of organic raisins thrown in (most regular rain bran has sugar-coated raisins) – for breakfast each day. That, plus some strong coffee, helps me stay regular. There are also Fiber One granola bars that are tasty, but you have to be careful not to eat too many of them.

  18. I work with my manager on a lot of different projects (consulting) and she is particularly busy, probably the busiest of anyone at our company at her level. I’ve always enjoyed working with her and I typically go the extra mile/cover for her/take a lot of work off her plate. Lately she’s taken to blowing off meetings at the last minute, including meetings where I’ve spent time developing an agenda or where her input is needed. She’ll usually give 5-10 minutes of notice, sometimes more. Would you say anything? It’s gotten to the point where I’m feeling pretty consistently disrespected, especially considering how I’ve always gone out of my way to pull my weight and more on her projects, and it’s starting to cause inconvenience to the projects, but I’m also trying to acknowledge and understand that she does have a lot on her plate and that things I view as high-priority may not be to her. I’m not convinced that saying anything will change anything either, so I’m not sure it’s worth making this A Thing. WWYD? If you would say something, any tips on phrasing that would actually make this productive and not just complaining?

    1. “Hi Jane, I’ve noticed recently that you haven’t been able to attend my key meetings on Project A and Project B. I understand that you’re very busy. Is there a delegate you can send in your place so we can (have this discussion, get these specific tasks addressed, get your buy-in)? These issues need to be addressed by (next week) to keep the projects on target.”

      1. It’s more about feeling disrespected at this point than handling the project work – I can step in and cover a lot of it (if not all), but I am having a hard time getting over the fact that she blows off the meetings with such short notice and doesn’t offer a quick apology/suggest anything to make sure things keep moving forward.

        1. Do you have a meeting set up with her on a weekly / recurring basis? I would bring up both the issue and the specifics – but not your feelings – during your recurring meeting. I think it’s probably not productive to say you feel disrespected. I want to validate your feelings – it’s super frustrating! That said, the problem is not your feelings (she can’t change your feelings). The problem is her actions and the fallout they have on your projects.

    2. Jane, I know you’ve been really busy lately and I don’t want to clog your calendar with meetings. Is it okay with you if I go ahead and make this decision, or would you like to meet and discuss it?

    3. Do you mean meetings with you or meetings that you set up?
      And blowing off is an interesting choice of words compared to cancel, are you sure it’s not just the latter?
      If she truly can’t attend what do you wish she’d do differently? Have you asked why she can’t attend?

      1. She’ll say she can’t attend because she “has a conflict,” which is true. I’ll look at her calendar and see one. The problem is that she seems to regularly schedules over my meetings, even when it’s not necessary (e.g., she’ll schedule over a meeting at 1:00, even though there are 4-5 open hours on her calendar she could’ve scheduled her new meeting during instead), and then she doesn’t let me know about the conflict until 10 mins before. I would like for her to respect the meeting times we have scheduled, especially when there are important agenda items to discuss, and if she can’t make it, let me know in advance (more than 5-10 mins) so I don’t waste time developing an agenda that we’re not going to actually get to cover.

    4. I completely understand feeling disrespected … I would feel the same way! But I’m wondering if she does this BECAUSE you are so effective at managing things for her? I would imagine when she sees your name, she thinks, “Oh, Anonymous is on this, so I can go to this other meeting where things are blowing up …”

  19. Recs for a daily sunscreen? Ideally with a tint to it. Skin tends to be on the oily side, and I’m 39 with the corresponding wrinkles. Very fair skin with reddish undertones

    1. I love Supergoop’s Matte sunscreen. Tinted, spf 40, you can wear it on it’s own but makeup goes over it well.

      1. Second this – for the past year, this plus mascara and maaaaaaybe lip gloss has been my makeup routine and I love it.

    3. I am too pale for most tinted sunscreens, but I religiously apply SPF every morning (and lightly stipple a bit of foundation or liquid concealer with a big brush over it).
      From non-tinted, I like: Skin Aqua, Purito Centella Unscented (but it was taken off-market as apparently it had lower real spf vs declared), most La Roche Possay SPF. I heard good feedback on Cerave SPF and Vichy for face.
      From tinted SPF, I have tried Vichy and La Roche Possay Anthelios Gel Cream, both were still not light enough, but putting light powder over it helped.

  20. Randomly: if you’re in your 40s and having much harsher period symptoms and/or mood swings, I just tried Evening Primrose pills and had my first “regular” period in like 5 years — regular meaning the ones I had in my 20s and 30s where there wasn’t crazy cramping or clotting or breast tenderness or mood swings. I started taking one a day about a week before my period hit.

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