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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Lily Linen Blend Popover Shirt

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A woman wearing a white-and-pink floral top and matching shorts

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This linen popover from Loft has a print that’s a little unusual for the office, but I’m into it. The hibiscus design feels summer-y, and the linen fabric looks delightfully breezy.

I like pairing the popover silhouette with a midi skirt, or tucking it into some wide-leg pants. Loft offers coordinating shorts if you’d like a matching set for the weekend.

The top is $42 at Loft, marked down from $69.95. It comes in sizes XXS-XXL and XXSP-XXLP. 

Sales of note for 6/12:

231 Comments

  1. I saw a picture of the original Galatzine matching sets, which I love. I am OK with two-piece modern matching dressing generally. This outfit is giving big pajama energy though. Not sure where to draw the line, but summer fabrics make it harder.

    1. Agree this gives big pajama vibes. And while the flowers are not poorly place on this particular garment, they are uncomfortably reminiscent of the print placement failures that look like period leaks.

    2. I didn’t read the description and was sure these were pajamas. Cute pajamas, but definitely pajamas.

    3. interesting. i actually think this looks less pajam-esque then many matching sets. think it’s because the fit is more structured and the shirt doesn’t button all the way down. this doesn’t necessarily mean i like it but it doesn’t scream pjs to me.

      1. It’s hard to say in 2026. Everything has elastic in the waist. Fits are loose. In the summer, at the airports especially, who even knows what clothes are.

    4. Hmm I loved matching sets and like this one but these comments are making me think it’ll read too pajama-y

      1. I disagree with the PJs assessment, on the right person and styled well, this is very cute.

    5. I also thought this was pajamas! I was hoping they’d have some pictures of the shirt with a different bottom to see if it looks ok without the shorts, but unfortunately all of the pictures on the Loft site include the full set.

    8. honestly every single matched set (EVERY single one) reminds me of pajamas or those terry cloth yoga pant sets people wore in the Mean Girls era (Juicy?). or prison uniforms. i want to love them because all the skinny young girls on social media can look cute in it but on me it just looks like i just rolled out of bed.

      1. Yup. I love the idea of a matching set, but when I’ve tried some on, they legit look like my pajamas. I think I’ll be passing on this trend.

    9. I’m pro hawaiian shirts, so I just bought it! But I’m also plus sized and not going anywhere near those shorts that look like they have no give and no lining.

      1. Good call! It’s fun to have prints that feel personal to you. I just bought a Boden dress with a green tropical print for summer.

    10. I like matching sets in theory but when I try one on and look in the mirror I get big Garanimals vibes. Alas. I do own several of the Quince matching linen pajama sets. I think they are more polished than some of these that are meant to be worn out of the house, and I have worn the natural color linen pj pants as actual pants with a nice tee.

  2. I am the poster who requested dessert recipe ideas for a birthday last week. I ended up going with partner’s favorite strawberry shortcake for his actual birthday, and I made the lemon snacking cake for a larger family dinner. Thank you for the suggestions to stick to favorites/tradition! The lemon snacking cake with coconut glaze was a huge hit too – highly recommend if you’re looking for a crowd pleaser.

  3. For those of you with big suitcases, do you store them empty or closed? I’ve used a duffel a lot but switched to a checked wheelie travel pro from Costco. It is great, but I can’t mush it into my tiny closet in an old house with scant closet space. I have those LLBean packing cubes but keep them in a drawer because I use them a ton for the gym and in a small overnight tote for little trips.

    1. Closed. Because also living in an old house with tiny closets, the mice will find anything open and make a home if they’re left there long enough.

      1. Reminding me to check my basement traps. Ugh. My next house will be a concrete bunker with no weird crawl spaces or access points.

    2. i keep it closed because i keep it in the attic so don’t want it getting dusty. i don’t have real space constraints but if you do you could keep out of season clothes or linens or xmas ornaments in it?

    3. I air them out open for a few hours after unpacking, then stuff all our various garment bags, extra backpacks, packing cubes, duffel bags, etc., back inside and close them for storage. So they are closed but not empty. They slide perfectly under our bed until we need them again.

    4. Closed but full. I nest my carry-on inside my checked bag, and inside the carryon are things like small duffles, outlet adaptors, compression socks, and other travel gear.

      1. This is what I do. You can also use the suitcase to store sleeping bags, out-of-season clothes, etc.

    5. Closed and full of travel items and smaller soft bags, stored on the top shelf of the closet.

    6. Closed and full, usually seasonal clothes/items, other bags or travel gear. small apartment!

    7. I air them out and hit the interior fabric with Febreeze. Then store closed in my garage.

  4. I found yesterday’s food hate thread very fascinating as someone who is neurodivergent and has done a lot of work to overcome ARFID for social cohesion. I now can eat anything with a smile, but certain things I definitely just tolerate (vs love).

    Do those of you who hate foods do you still eat them to be polite? If you refuse to eat foods you don’t like, do you have a lot of social capital?

    1. I don’t find this to be a big daily issue – a simple “oh no thank you” when an appetizer tray is offered, or asking for a sauce to be on the side if you’re unsure, etc. Only if you make a big point of saying ‘oh I don’t like x’ does anyone really notice or care!

      1. Same.

        The only big food pushers were some older family members. Since having kids, I am always initially doing some child-feeding task during mealtime or prior / after and somehow that took the perceived spotlight off of me and it’s never come back. I am never leaving the little kids’ table.

      2. Also same. I don’t hate many foods and am generally a pretty adventurous eater. However, I’m also neurodivergent and occasionally have issues with some textures. I avoid anything I really can’t bring myself to eat with a “no thank you.” I can and will eat a few bites of something I’m not wild about if I feel like it’s necessary to avoid offending or upsetting someone. I also find as I get older that people will more readily accept “sorry, X disagrees with me” over “I don’t like X.”

    2. Yes, I eat whatever is served to me in a professional or “polite company” setting as long as it isn’t dangerous. If there is something I truly dislike to the point that I know I will gag trying to eat it, I just quietly eat around it. I would never send back a plate just because I don’t like something on it. That is an action I would reserve for an actual food safety sort of problem and not just an ingredient preference – the chicken is raw inside, for instance.

      I will politely decline if something I don’t care for is just offered without actually being served (think, staff walking around offering appetizers instead of a host putting a plated meal in front of me), but not in a manner that burns social capital.

      1. When are people just giving you a plate of food you didn’t choose? The only two scenarios I can think of are a meal in someone’s home and a plated dinner at a banquet. In either case it’s easy enough to skip the food you don’t want, by pushing it around on the plate if necessary.

        1. Work events and conferences where the menu is fixed in advance, wedding and funeral receptions, the neighborhood backyard BBQ where the host hands you a filled plate? It’s not that unusual.

          1. I can’t remember a single time as an adult where someone has handed me a plate of food in any of those situations. Huh.

          2. do funeral receptions you go to really have plated meals?? every one I’ve been to is served buffet style

            I don’t think I’ve been to a preplated bbq either! is this a regional thing? (midwest)

      2. Yeah, I’ll eat my shoe to avoid being rude but will eat around certain things (cooked fennell, endives, and bland mushy foods – mashed potatoes, butternut squash if possible). My MIL made an meal of unseasoned potato, squash, and parsnip while I was pregnant and I ate it but did nearly cry.

    3. AFRID is psychological. Being a super taster is not. There are some foods that taste like chemicals to me (I’m apparently very sensitive to solanine/chaconine), and I am not going to eat them to make other people like me.

      2. ARFID is not psychological. Tons of kids with ARFID are super tasters or have other sensory differences. Others have low level nausea from GI issues.

          1. I should have said “not just psychological.” But even in this resource, the idea that it’s psychological is framed as a best guess, not something known or proven. This same page also acknowledges that having an “underlying condition that affects your neurological functioning or development” is a risk factor. I think this write up is better: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/eating-disorders/what-is-arfid

            It is not wrong that tons of kids with ARFID are supertasters or have other sensory differences. It’s usually named as the most common presentation (vs. fear of food or low appetite).

    4. I used to eat anything with a smile. Since I didn’t like most foods from the cuisine I was raised within, it wasn’t a big deal to me to eat something I didn’t like. I was doing that a lot at baseline anyway. I am glad I eventually found other foods that I actually like!

      Now I’m on a medically restricted diet, so I eat nothing with a smile. I think this drives people absolutely insane and costs real social capital, but not more so than the symptoms I would have if I had “just a bite” to keep the peace.

    5. I have an uncommon food aversion that seems to shock and appall most people. It’s not an allergy but depending on how strong it is, it could make me throw up or be unable to eat the dish. I would simply decline with a “no thank you,” and that’s usually fine. Alternately, I know what dishes or foods to suspect it may be in or paired with and ask for it to not be included/removed/put on the side. I would take this approach first, then eat around if possible, and only if it was absolutely unavoidable (I was dining with the c-suite or someone else extremely important) would I try to scarf it down. Not because I felt like it isn’t polite to not eat it, but because no one in such a setting benefits by being distracted by my dietary preferences.

    7. Nope, not eating to be polite. I say no thank you.
      If not eating reduces my social capital that is a them problem, not mine.

      1. +1. I actually think it makes you look like a pushover or someone lacking in confidence if you can’t say “oh no thank you” when offered something and then that person finds out later you hate what was offered.

        1. I promise you wouldn’t think this of your ‘annoying'(secretly autistic) co worker.

        2. And I think it looks like someone who understands that they aren’t the main character in every scenario.

          1. I don’t think that “no, thank you” and a change of topic should be taken as a case of main character syndrome. (Broadcasting dislikes or explaining some other reason can seem that way for sure.)

      2. +1 – I’d rather politely say no thank you, even if it means going hungry, than potentially be gagging at the table. Pretty sure that would reduce my social capital more!

      3. I missed the conversation yesterday, but I think the practicality of this really depends on how many food aversions one has and how accepted they are/how inclusive the crowd is.

    8. I’m the beet hater 😂 I didn’t know that it’s like cilantro in that they really don’t taste right to some people!

      I have a funny story about the origins of my dislike for beets, which I often trot out to laughs, so I’d just say no thank you and launch into the tale, and everyone agrees they wouldn’t like beets if they were me either.

      Btw, it’s quirky that I dislike beets because my family historically had a beet farm, and my mom and grandfather love(d) them so much they sit down and eat them by the can!

      1. I know way too many people whose one food they absolutely cannot stand is the family business food, haha.

    9. I’m willing to try just about anything out of politeness, but it’s also usually pretty easy to skate by and avoid foods you dislike as an adult. (I have great sympathy for children who are “picky eaters”, as they have so little say over what food they eat and a lot of oversight on whether they eat it. You never have those same standards applied as an adult.)

      I recall going on a backpacking trip as a teen, one of my friends loudly complained about how she hated Gatorade, the adults were always on her about drinking enough electrolytes. I also dislike Gatorade but I just kept my mouth shut about it and no one noticed that I wasn’t drinking the Gatorade.

    10. Nope. I will not eat food I don’t like to be polite. The list of refusals is short for me, but I will not eat something that has olives blatantly in/on it, as an example. I will try something new with a bite and if I don’t like it, I won’t finish it. Maybe I’m just old enough (41?) to not care if someone judges my politeness on whether or not I force feed myself something I legitimately do not like. If someone will judge me based on that, that’s not a me problem.

      As for social capital… I don’t think I have any that’s noteworthy? I would do this in a professional setting and personal setting, with my boss, clients, MIL or my own family.

      1. I will, like beets or parsnips/sunchokes, whatever, because my husband likes to make them/eat seasonally and they are theoretically good for me. I don’t hate them or gag, so I just (wo)man up and eat it the once a month or so that he makes them.

    11. Most of the foods I won’t eat are very regional/cultural and as an adult I get way less pressure to ‘just try a bite’. At this point I can/do eat most foods in work/large social settings and if I know I’ll have a challenging meal I’ll make it a point to eat a large snack before hand.

    12. I really don’t often find myself in a situation where I feel pressure to eat foods I don’t like. I have low level chronic nausea so I have a lot of specific dislikes, including coffee and lot of alcoholic and carbonated drinks, which I always just decline (I have a few go tos for when I have to order something). There’s almost always some choice of what’s available, plus I’m a vegetarian, so I’m already probably not going to eat a default plate of food. I never show up anywhere hungry unless I’m sure there will be food I want to eat. If I don’t like the food on offer, I either eat a little to be polite (if it’s at least tolerable) or just say I’m not really hungry (if anyone is even paying attention, which often they aren’t).

    13. No, I don’t. My experience has been that a lot of the foods I don’t like also don’t agree with me to differing degrees. My mom always made us eat everything, even if we complained. Nowadays, most people about dietary restrictions, but if they don’t, I either don’t eat or push food around. My sister-in-law can host a multi-course meal without a single vegetarian option. I figure in this scenario, it’s on her if I sit there with a slice of bread.

    14. It doesn’t bother me if someone says “no thank you” to a food. What is rude is dictating the restaurant or menu to accommodate your own preferences, then loudly complaining that nothing suits those preferences. (Looking at you, “vegan gluten-free” colleague who was using that as a cover for an ED, and GF-by-choice SIL who gets mad when the meal everyone is having happens to be naturally GF.)

      2. “Looking at you, “vegan gluten-free” colleague”

        Unless you’re unusually ethical AND have celiac disease (actual celiac), yes, gluten-free vegan is functionally an eating disorder. If you wanted to be vegan, you would eat everything else.

        1. But Celiac is not the only medical condition treated with gluten-free diet. The dietary restrictions for gluten ataxia are pretty much the same.

    15. I take the plate and eat around the offending item. And just don’t engage with people who want to interrogate me about what I’m not eating. I don’t want to get into a long discussion about whether it’s healthy to be a vegetarian or whether truffles taste like gym socks to everyone. I just say I am full, thanks.

    16. No, I don’t eat foods I don’t like. I also wouldn’t ask someone in any setting why they aren’t eating something. That seems rather rude.

    17. the only times I’ve seen someone ‘burn social capital’ like this is if they’re super picky in general or hate something commonly loved AND are loud about it or vocal when there’s nothing for them to eat. E.g. someone shows up to an italian-themed dinner party and is pouty when most dishes have garlic.

      quietly not eating a lot, a simple excuse you’re not hungry, xyz doesn’t agree with me, etc no one really cares.

  5. I was today years old when I learned that I prefer light roast coffees. Any recommendations for good ones? I just got Panera brand at the local super market to try.

    1. Do you have any local coffee roasters? Do you want to spend good money on amazing coffee?

      If you are happy with Panera that’s totally fine, although Panera coffee is the quality equivalent of Olive Garden for Italian cuisine.

    2. If you want to explore a variety of coffee roasters, I recommend trying out a Trade coffee subscription. They send you beans or ground coffee on the schedule you select and you can try out lots of different brands. I’ve discovered several new coffee brands that way.

    3. What is your budget? Coffee prices have gotten out of control, but sometimes there are sales to be had at Whole Foods.

      1. oh I’d love any suggestions for the next time I’m at WF.

        Honestly we don’t spend a lot of money on coffee — the bulk Folgers bin from costco is usually fine — and I’m not looking to be a grind-my-own-be-fancy kind of coffee drinker. just to make my morning cuppa a bit more enjoyable.

        1. I picked up some some light roast “Verve” roaster coffee last time it was on sale and was pleased with it! If your WF has a coffee bar, it might be a chance to try their house brand’s light roast (I haven’t tried it in a long time; same with Starbucks “blonde” roast… I don’t know how they may have changed, but they’re probably worth trying!).

    4. In Europe, so have no brand recs, but I always get coffee roasted no further than level 3.

      I look for tasting descriptions like floral and caramel, never chocolate.

      I look for beans from Africa or around Colombia.

    5. Light roast is the best roast! I’m an iced girlie in spring and summer and prefer convenient. La Columbe’s blonde is great, and I like Chameleon’s blonde concentrate. Even Starbucks’ blonde roast is MUCH tastier than their medium or, ugh, dark roast (including brewed hot in Starbucks shops)

  6. I theoretically have a primary care doctor who I’ve met exactly once. She seems fine. Boring. She’s an MD. While she was on vacation I had an emergency and needed to see someone so I saw someone else in her office who is an APRN-CNP — we laughed a ton during the appointment and I liked that she swore. (Yes I’m 13.) I asked during the appointment if #2 was taking new patients and she said not really but she could for me.

    It’s now time to schedule my appointment and in the system I can go for either one… am I wrong to go with the doc I preferred more even though she isn’t an MD? I feel like primaries are often just gatekeepers or wayfinders

    1. I think that the wave of the future, if it’s not already here, is that advance practice nurse practitioners and PAs are who we will mainly see for primary care and they will have a doctor to discuss things with if you seem to really stump them.

      There aren’t enough doctors going into primary care. No one wants to spend 4 years in med school and 3 more doing a residency just to make what a first year in BigLaw makes.

    2. Whether or not my doctor swears during my appointment is not high on my list of qualifiers. As the daughter of an internist, I would never use an NP for anything other than very basic care (treating a UTI, for example). NPs do not have the training to even know what they may be missing. While you may see your primary physician as a gatekeeper now, as you age you may develop more complex health issues that they will help you manage with medication. And most of these issues and meds will be better managed by an MD.

      1. My MIL is one of the nurse types with multiple advanced degrees. I trust her over my doctor every day of the week. It doesn’t help that my doctor refers me to a specialist for every advanced question I have.

        1. I think this is tough. I know and have worked with lots of APRNs who are excellent, and I’ve worked with lots who are bad. IME, the ones who are bad have an inflated view of their qualifications, which scares me. I really think they have to be evaluated individually and while this isn’t a solution for the bigger picture issues with increasing use of midlevel providers and lack of access to quality MDs, I think most people who read here are capable of making that assessment for themselves. A medical professional you trust, who listens, who devotes time to you, who escalates where appropriate and who you see for routine matters is, in my view, better than an MD who is the opposite.

        2. Part of the problem with NPs in particular is that there are degree programs and then there are degree programs. I also know experienced nurses who are very well read and knowledgeable, like your MIL. I know some who are plandemic truthers too.

          But I think there is something to be said for not being too credentialist when making n=1 decisions, and that goes for NP vs. MD too.

      2. My MD is useless. Her PA is the one who figured out what my real issue was and got it properly treated because he actually took the time to listen, took my quality of life concerns seriously (I didn’t think it was right that I was sick literally all the time), and exercised some critical thinking. It wasn’t even a complicated issue and should have been completely obvious to the MD but she just didn’t want to bother.

        For most routine illnesses and normal aging I would take an NP or PA over an MD any day. I only want an MD for something serious or complicated, and that’s usually going to need a specialist. PCPs are the worst.

        1. I get really tired of PCPs just referring to specialists for just about anything, so I’m completely fine with seeing my PA. I’ve noticed the same thing with my kids’ pediatrician. Like why am I seeing you?

    3. Go with whoever you like more and trust to advocate for you. MDs are normal humans, but with a bonus god complex.

    4. I was so sad when my PA left my PCP’s office that I changed doctors to follow her. My PCP was fine and personable, but seemed basically like a human WebMD search result. The PA really listened, took my history and symptoms into account, went to bat with my insurance company to get the pricy testing covered, and found a resolution to a long-brewing problem that the PCP had spent months tossing generic but ineffective ideas at without any progress.

      1. I feel like a lot of NPs and PAs would have been great doctors but for money or life circumstances.

        1. I’d love to see a more financially accessible path from NP/PA to MD. It would be a great investment for the whole healthcare system.

        4. I am not sure about this. There is something about med school that both selects for and reinforces the personality traits and ways of thinking that make MDs inferior to NPs and PAs for many purposes.

          1. I think this would help with “selects for.” But there is a lot that needs to change about medical education (hazing, hidden curriculum and bias, how statistics are/aren’t taught, multiple choice, nominalism, recency bias, cross cultural competence, methodolatry), only some of which overlap with nursing education. I don’t know if an influx of NPs and PAs and other experienced adults would help, but I feel for all the med school students who don’t have much in the way of adult experience beforehand and have a rough time with it all.

          2. 100% agree that med school is so selective and long and expensive that it seems to yield a lot of people coming out of comfy suburban backgrounds who have their first job ever as a doctor. Not good.

          3. I agree about the first job thing, but it’s more than that. People who are attracted to med school tend to be trophy-grabbers with huge egos. Med school, in turn, reinforces those tendencies.

    5. I’m conflicted on this question because there’s no question that NPs know less, and it’s the gatekeepers and wayfinders that we need to have the widest knowledge base. It’s a downgrade in the aggregate.

      But on an individual basis, it may be okay especially if she or you can loop in the MD as needed since they share a practice? Objectively MDs are better qualified to make correct diagnoses and safe, appropriate treatment plans. But it’s easy to underestimate rapport and the opportunity to build a relationship as well as the role of trust and credibility in accessing appropriate care. There is also a real limit to how much any provider can remember off the top of their head, and sometimes NPs are given more time to just look stuff up (whether they will understand it varies, but not every MD is great with this either).

      So many modern meds have to be prescribed by a specialist for insurance reasons that if you have something serious, you’ll be seeing someone else for it anyway!

      My experience was that I struggled with a set of serious symptoms for years before I received a rare disease diagnosis, and my current PCP NP said she’s so glad I wasn’t her patient back then. But the MDs I was seeing didn’t figure it out either; I finally paid cash to see a MD internist who spent a few hours going over my records, and almost everything he needed was already there in my test results. He said the reason he started a cash based private practice was that he did not have time in employment based or insurance based healthcare systems and was always falling behind. So he didn’t even really blame the doctors I’d seen previously for what they’d missed. It’s just how it is.

      And most people don’t have the kind of condition that doctors haven’t heard of or looked up in a while; most generally healthy people are getting guidelines based care for common conditions no matter who they see.

      1. Also, though the cash pay internist figured out the diagnosis, I still had to see a specialist for confirmatory testing and long term management for insurance reasons. Bouncing everything to specialists is expensive, and in my experience they need primary care to point them in the right direction or they just shrug and bounce you back, but this is how it seems to work these days.

    6. My whole family uses the same APRN. We love that woman to death – she and her staff (and her office dog, Matilda!) are a highlight of the week when we have an appointment. Go with who you like.

    7. When I was in high school, I was good at science and math, so I was told I should be a doctor. I think people for the past few years were told more about the full spectrum of healthcare jobs. Many health systems will pay for a nurse with an RN to get her BSN and then a NP degree, but not med school. It’s smart to avoid so much debt and a lot of smart younger people are taking these paths now.

    8. If you don’t have any health issues and personality is more important than credentials to you, I don’t see why it would be a problem. You can change back or find a new doc if things change, right?

    9. I am picky about my medical providers’ qualifications, but assuming an APRN-CNP has experience and went to a real nursing school and not an online diploma mill I would be fine with this (and am, my PCP is an NP too). I’ve never used my PCP to manage anything complex – I’ve always gone to specialists for that – just for things like illnesses that might or might not need meds and basic labs, and that’s very much within her knowledge base. I take the poster’s point that this might change with age, but that’s a problem that’s likely years away for me, and I can always change then.

    10. ok, thanks all! just looked up where she got her nursing degree and it is highly regarded according to a few google results, so i’ll stick with her for now.

  7. Ugh. My whole SM feed over Memorial Day weekend was just GLP-1 ads.

    I am curious about one thing though. Several people in my family are considering them. Two are very large; one is just heavy. One person snores to the point where sleep apnea wouldn’t surprise me. All are in their 50s. None are diabetic, but my guess is that they are in the large % of adults their age with prediabetes.

    If they start now while they are working, maybe they can find the meds for cheap and improve their QOL. But if they go on Medicare at 65, they likely won’t have these meds covered anymore, especially if their overall health improves. And yet our understanding is that these meds are for life. Is it realistic to think that Medicare will cover generally as prices come down? Or a legitimate concern once budgets tighten in retirement?

    I feel like if diet and exercise would have worked, they would have worked already. Or give it one more good try now that the kids are out of the house to see if they can move the needle. I think this makes sense, because apparently you need to up your fitness and activity level on GLP1s so that you done lose so much muscle you become weak. They are just nervous to throw in the towel and take the meds and yet no doctor seems to have time to really talk them through this.

    IDK if there is a good primer on this from AARP or similar for older adults not primarily concerned with vanity.

    1. My assumption is that they will eventually be covered (in certain circumstances) by Medicare. My other thought, though, is that if your relatives take them now and have success on them, they will get the benefit of them now and for however many years until they retire, basically no matter what Medicare does in the end. It seems like 10 years without sleep apnea, then sleep apnea comes back for another 20 years, is probably better for you than 30 years with sleep apnea, you know?

      The drugs might also help implement healthy lifestyle changes that will be beneficial whether or not the weight eventually comes back, and they seem to me worth trying for that reason, too.

    2. I’d start now. There are fun questions (referencing an NYT article I saw) that an earlier start might also have long-term cognitive benefits. Even if they can’t afford it later, it’s worth having an extra decade of benefit.

    3. Not your circus but start now and cost isn’t really an issue anymore. With a Rx, you’re talking about $100/mo. Unless your family is destitute, that’s very manageable.

    4. Didn’t you post about this once already? And the advice to you (even though it’s not your problem) was that they should start it and figure out Medicare when the time comes. There will be many benefits of taking the meds now and losing weight now. The meds are covered under Medicare (or will be soon) so they may qualify for continued use of the meds at the time they go on Medicare.

      Why are you so worried about this issue??

      1. This board has a lot of type A people who default to thinking every problem is one they need to solve, whether or not that’s true. And some people’s families operate in a way that means they are all up in each other’s business, so a random cousin feels every right to second guess health choices of the extended family.

      2. Because this poster is obsessed, and I do mean obsessed, with wanting “primers” on anything having to do with the elderly, Medicare, types of primary care physicians, and apparently now GLP-1s.

    5. Not a doctor, just someone who is observant and tries to meet people where they are at:

      One of the many problems with trying diet and exercise to lose a LOT of weight is that exercise can be genuinely painful and difficult for severely overweight people. It takes a lot more energy to run or walk a mile, use an elliptical, use a stair stepper, etc. Joint stress is higher. Chafing can be a real concern. It’s easy to get red-faced and sweaty, and you wonder if people are laughing at you or judging you.

      It can be hard to diet if most of what you’re told about dieting is fad based or involves so may restrictions that it isn’t sustainable.

      Losing 50 pounds radically reduces joint stress, how hard the heart has to work to supply blood to the entire body, chafing, joint stress, joint stress.

      Bad sleep also screws up recovery from exercise.

      So if someone uses these things to sleep better and be able to exercise, it might get them out of the cycle that prevents them from being able to exercise. It might help them to learn what a good amount of food is.

    6. If they’re in their 50s, Medicare probably will cover these meds when they are 65. I wouldn’t worry about this at all. Medicare is going to prefer paying for GLP1s, especially as the prices come down, over paying for the long term complications of undertreatment.

      Many commonly prescribed meds are for life. It’s not helpful to look at it as “throwing in the towel” to go on a medication that treats something that you have.

      They should absolutely know whether they have sleep apnea or prediabetes though. Do they got go their annual checkups?

    7. Dear god please get help for your anxiety. You’re worried over what may happen to someone who isn’t you in 10 years?

    8. My SIL started taking them about six months ago. I saw her on Memorial Day, and she looked freaking amazing. Like she is a walking ad for the miracle of a GLP-1. Makes me want to get a script because my many efforts to lose the perimenopause-25 have gone absolutely nowhere. I would not have considered SIL a large person before; like many of us, her weight had slowly crept up in her 30s and she had trouble losing it.

      1. Wondering if I’m your SIL, I have never looked or felt better in my life. Same situation, not someone anyone would call overweight but menopause and life crept on there. Every time I have dinner with a friend, they go get a GLP1 the next day.

        1. I really want to get on a GLP-1, and everyone around me looking great increases that desire. I am by no means overweight but I want to crawl out of my skin and look how I used to.

        2. How do you get prescribed a GLP-1 if you are not classified as overweight, though? Do you just lie about your weight to Midi or Hers?

          1. A lot of people are classified as overweight who would not be called overweight socially.

          2. Maybe for men. Women have to be quite overweight to be classified as “overweight” by the BMI charts.

          3. That’s just not true? For a 5’9” woman, overweight starts at 169 pounds. Plenty of athletic women — not muscle heads, just normal athletes — hit that bar. Go look at photos of women on my body gallery right above the cutoff for overweight at your height, and I’m guessing you’ll see the same, that it’s a mix of women who rock climb or cycle or whatever and women who actually do have an excess of body fat.

    9. A GLP-1 from a reputable compounding pharmacy is running about $250/month these days. That’s affordable for many interested users. (I use Polly, formerly Piper.)

    10. These people need therapy. These drugs aren’t “throwing in the towel.” And there are plenty of resources for people “not concerned with vanity” to access. It sounds like they’d rather stay overweight than have people lump them in with “vanity” users. That’s irrational and detrimental behavior. Why would these people deny themselves a medically indicated treatment for a decade because their insurance will change at 65, especially when these medications continue to get cheaper and more accessible? It’s a made up concern to avoid the medication because of something else.

      They’re in their fifties and have weird hang ups about medication. If they could diet and exercise their way to a healthy weight they would have. They can’t. They are well within their rights to not take a glp-1 but they need to explore this strange arguments theyre having with themselves about it.

      1. I think it’s OP who needs therapy. Her relatives need an A1C and a sleep study and whatever interventions their doctor prescribes!

        1. I’m the poster above and after re-reading I think you’re right. She was seeing glp-1 ads and just stared speculating about her poor relatives taking them? The hang ups is hers.

    11. Realistically, there’s not a good primer on this because there’s not great research yet — esp. on questions like, if you’re on GLPs for ten years, then go off for financial reasons, then gain back weight, are you better or worse off than if you never had the GLPs/never lost the weight to begin with. There’s some rough idea of indicators: we know yoyo-ing is bad for you; but we also know losing weight is good for you, and losing weight in a way that facilitates exercise is VERY good for you (Ie. dropping 50 lbs on a glp that makes your knee pain better enough that you start walking and exercising more is a double win). We know that losing muscle on GLPs is a concern and can be motivated with strength training and good food.

      But quantitative questions like, exactly how much strength training do I need to do over the next 10 years to be as strong at 65 as I would be if I didn’t take the GLP are more art than science questions at this point.

      1. I’ve seen research on some of this already.

        It’s not common to advise people not to lose weight by diet and exercise just because the odds are they’ll gain it back later or that they’ll lose some muscle, so it still feels like a double standard to criticize GLP1 assisted weight loss for things that are true of effortful, unassisted weight loss.

        1. Yes, although it *is* not recommended to lose weight via dieting at an extremely fast pace. And there’s been some studies showing that people who lose weight on a glp gain it back faster than people who lose weight via diet and exercise. But of course, you might still be better off losing weight with a glp, compared to not losing weight; even if you’d be better off losing the same weight via diet and exercise than via glp.

          Agree that there’s starting to be research about these questions; but nothing on the time scale OP is asking about, just because GLPs haven’t existed that long!

          2. GLP1s have been around for twenty years. It’s fair to ask how different are type 2 diabetes patients from overweight people from people with metabolic disoder, or how different are these GLP1s from the older ones, but the drug class isn’t that new.

          3. But that is exactly the question OP is asking about: how does one evaluate the risks of stopping a GLP/starting one when you aren’t sure you’re going to be able to keep taking it as indicated. If you are on a GLP for 10 years and then go off it, are you still better off than if you never had it (although not as well of as if you’d been able to stay on it); or are you worse off than if you’d never started it?

            I think some of the “You shouldn’t go off GLPs” discourse is overstating the risks of going off them, and unnecessarily scaring people off from trying them, but it’s not an insane question to ask

    12. I don’t see why Medicare would factor into the decision since nobody is on Medicare? It seems like borrowing trouble to psych yourself (or your relatives) out of options.

      1. And it seems like fake concerns so she, a person who doesn’t need them, can characterize taking these medications as “throwing on the towel.”

    13. I love how OP thinks their fat family members are problems to be solved, instead of you know, actual people with agency.

      1. I think it’s common in a lot of families for some family members to interface with healthcare and field a lot of questions (the one who went to college, the one with a continuous history of healthcare access, the digital native who is better at Googling, etc.). And absolutely there are still men who were socialized to have some woman make them see a doctor. Even if we don’t like this, they don’t deserve to die because of it.

          1. The point is that lots of people with agency don’t fully exercise it when it comes to healthcare; they rely on people they know and ask a lot of questions. And if it runs in the family, I can only imagine how many questions these people may have! OP is not being helpful though.

  8. how would you respond if a friend just sent me a picture of her beautiful 12 year old daughter with a new short hair cut… and she looks like kate gosselin?

    2. I’m sorry I cackled so loud at this.

      IDK if you’re really asking but….”so sweet!” “miss you guys, hope you’re well!!”

      1. Oh my god. This is so, so obnoxious and provincial. Can we stop lionizing NY and/or CA?

    8. My standard response to pictures of tween and teen children is, “She looks so happy!” It annoys me to have so much commentary on how beautiful a child is.

    9. I’m sorry — is your question actually about whether you’re allowed to be a b*tch about a 12-year-old’s bad haircut?

      Some ideas, in case you decide not to be a mean girl:
      “Wow!”
      “What a change — good for her!”
      “Looks great!”

    11. op – thanks all. background is the child wanted a pixie and mom went with the mullet bob instead because she thought it would be easier to care for. she is also seriously worried her daughter may be a furry, which seems low on the list of concerns for today’s youth, but wdik.

      1. That is so sad. A bob is the hardest to style. A pixie is much easier but does require more frequent trims. And a 12-year-old should be choosing her own hairstyle.

        I have a pixie and I am a perfectly normal, well-adjusted cis het woman whom most people consider to be quite boring and conventional. I just have a facial structure and hair texture that call for short hair.

      2. If you’re looking for a socially acceptable way to support the 12 year old, maybe say something like “she’s beautiful so she’s beautiful no matter what, but I’m not sure that the hair stylist really hit the mark of low maintenance and cute.”

    12. i don’t think you need to lie and is it possible she sent it because she knows she looks like kate gosselin? regardless i think a heart or i can’t believe how big she is or she looiks so much like you (or her grandma or her dad or whoever)

      it’s difficult for me to imagine sending a picture of my kid to a friend for the sole purpose of wanting them to compliment my kids hair so….

      1. honestly this was my hesitation — i was wondering if we were supposed to be like “aw, her first bad haircut attempting to be fashionable!” because we’ve all been there. milestone of its own. she texted it to us as a group though so i took my queue from the others.

  9. Can someone shop for me please? Looking for a cocktail dress to wear as a wedding guest next month. Requirements: Size 18 (sometimes a 1X or 16W works, but as cusp-sized ladies know, the proportions aren’t the same), jewel-tone, knee or midi-length, and I’d love to be able to wear a normal bra. Budget is $400 or less. Everything I’m finding is either in a pastel or earth-tone that makes me look dead or is in a fabric that looks way too casual.

    Thank you!!

    1. If you are in Charlotte, she has a store at Northlake Mall. But she’s on insta and has a website and is just delightful: google juicy body goddess
      It’s not just prom things, it’s all of the fancy life events for people of all ages. But people road trip here for their daughters and she does right by the whole family.

    3. I don’t know if you’ve already looked there, but try Nordstrom. I filtered on cocktail dresses and your size and did find options in your price range. But you’re right, you have to dig because there’s a lot of pastel out there right now!

      1. Yes! I was looking at Nordstrom and bailed because of all the pastels, but if you say there’s some good stuff in there, I’ll start digging!

          1. Yes, several of the Kiyonna dresses had jewel tone options. There were several other brands with navy, if that works for you.

    6. No joke, try the clearance section of places like Nordstrom because that’s where you’ll find winter dresses (which are more likely to be in darker colors and heavier fabrics). Spring and summer is pastels.

    7. I’m sure you’ve already checked Talbots online? They’re always my first stop. If you know what size you wear in Talbots, could you check Poshmark for non-pastels?

    9. This site has some great options, I’ve had goo luck with them – like any of these?
      https://www.citychiconline.com/plus-size-dresses/cocktail-dresses/plus-size-maxi-braelynn-prt-pink-227935suededrose?catfilter=eyJpZCI6Ijc0MzEiLCJwcmljZS1yYW5nZXMiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D
      https://www.citychiconline.com/plus-size-dresses/cocktail-dresses/plus-size-dress-estella-red-227672lovered?catfilter=eyJpZCI6Ijc0MzEiLCJwcmljZS1yYW5nZXMiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D
      https://www.citychiconline.com/plus-size-maxi-vivid-prt-vivid-floral-225366vividfloral
      https://www.citychiconline.com/plus-size-dress-kamila-navy-227806navy

    10. Thank you everyone! I ended up buying dresses Kay Unger, Adrianna Pappell, and Mac Duggal and will report back!!

  10. For the veteran travelers, has anyone found a good hair dryer brush or multi-styler that works well for carry-on? Travel will mostly be domestic, so dual-voltage is not needed.

    1. I have been obsessed with the “Travel Dual Voltage Hair Dryer Brush 4-in-1 Portable Mini Hot” from Madremia I bought from the river store. I went to a wedding and a couple of the other bridesmaids used it to and then bought ones for themselves.

    2. I have taken my Dry Bar hair dryer (the one with the round brush) all over the world. I travel weekly for work and never had an issue with it not fitting in the suitcase.

  11. Would you move forward with this job opportunity?

    Pros:

    I was unexpectedly let go four months ago and it’s been a hardship for us. A job is a job and beggars can’t be choosers.

    We’ve recently moved states and this job gets my foot in the local door. It offers good exposure to local players in my field for networking.

    Cons:

    Salary is half what I was making before. It is the absolute lowest I could accept and still pay my bills. Someone at my level should be getting the salary I was getting before or a bit more.

    They have a 100% on-site policy. I was 100% remote at my last job for 7 years, so this requirement is just manufactured on their part.

    The office is a one hour drive from my house each way. My car has 120k miles on it, and with this low salary, couldn’t be replaced. Luckily, the drive would be on country backroads with no congestion, so no sitting in traffic getting irate.

    WDYT?

    1. I would take it and get over the onsite attitude. You clearly live somewhere without a strong job market and I hate to break it to you but remote work was a pandemic fad.

      1. +1

        The mentality that on-site work is fake or not justified is probably seeping into your body language or tone when interviewing. Have you worked with a recruiter or trusted friend to do a mock interview? Could you film yourself responding to questions about work arrangements to see what you look and sound like when it comes up?

      1. A word of caution here… I have two friends who tried to negotiate WFH flex after the offer stage for otherwise onsite jobs and had the offers rescinded. You can certainly argue “well, then those companies aren’t for you!” but in this job market beggars can’t be choosers and WFH is a hot button. Odds are if they’re onsite, it’s with intention (rightly or wrongly) and you aren’t the first person to complain about it/want a different arrangement. I can absolutely see how coming for flexibility after a full interview process at the offer stage would be really off putting.

    6. I would take the job but continue job searching. It is easier to find another job when you have a job. If you find another job in 6 months or so, I think you could easily point to any of these reasons as reason why you switched jobs so quickly. However, if you do not take this job, you may be out of work completely for much longer.

      Re: salary expectations: Are you sure your expectations are in line with your new market? I have noticed that a lot of the transplants in my city that moved here for a lower cost of living do not anticipate that salaries here are lower as well.

      1. OP here. Yes, these guys are abnormally low. They’re $50k below the bottom of the market. About $150k below the top of the market.

        1. ETA – the job ad didn’t list a salary…probably because they knew no one would apply if they knew the salary.

          1. Do you have an actual offer from them, or are you just deciding whether to move forward with the interview?

            If it’s just the interview, definitely take it. Worse case, you get some free interview practice.

      2. Yeah, unless you know you will not be able to do this job and continue to job search, this is the way. You view it merely as a stopgap, not as a real career job and you appreciate that you’re bringing in some income.

    7. I would take it. 4 months in to searching, you have a good idea of what the market is like in your field.

      For what it’s worth, I just accepted a role in similar circumstances (1hr+ commute each way; ~30% pay cut although the original offer was a >50% cut – and I was underpaid before!) after a 13 month post layoff search. I can totally sympathize with the “secondary grief” – accepting felt a little like the layoff again, a letting go of a lot of my dreams and hopes for the medium term future. It’s hard. But ask them if they have flexibility on salary, and then accept no matter what.

      1. Thank you! Not the OP but the secondary grief description of accepting a job you need to feeling like another layoff is such a great encapsulation of something I experienced recently.

    8. Take it and keep looking, even if you find a new job two weeks in, quit and take that one.

    10. The one-hour commute is the big deal for me:
      • Does it mean you’re living in a sparsely populated or rural area . . . which makes me wonder if you need to take this because local jobs really aren’t plentiful?
      • If jobs are plentiful, no way I’m driving two hours a day unless I really just absolutely must have the money and can’t afford to hold out for a different job.

    11. Unfortunately, jobs pay less than they used to. I’m in the job market and a similar role pays $60k less than I make now, some are a step up in title and scope and still pay $30-40k less. It’s tough especially given the rise in COL in the past five years, but it’s an employers market and there seem to be plenty of applicants.

      My Director role was eliminated though found some contract work with my old employer. I recently saw my old job posted, but combined with the role of another Senior Manager and posted as a Senior Manager. I thought wow that’s a lot of responsibility for that salary, but I’m sure they’ll find plenty of people happy to take it.

    12. I’ve taken the lower paying job before and was hired into a new role at my previous salary 2 months later. Look at it as funding your current job search that is no different than any other work people take on to pay their bills.

  12. In moderation: For the veteran travelers, has anyone found a good hair dryer brush or multi-styler that works well for carry-on? Travel will mostly be domestic, so dual-voltage is not needed.

    1. I just take my shark plus the round brush attachment and give up the suitcase real estate. It’s too irritating to not blow out my hair the way I like it when I travel.

      1. If I knew how much I would love my shark, I would have bought the one that collapses for travel.

        As is, I sacrifice an extra pair of shoes to tetris my shark into my carryon.

        1. So if it makes you feel better, I did buy that one for travel and it is not the same. I take the big regular one.

    2. I have been obsessed with the “Travel Dual Voltage Hair Dryer Brush 4-in-1 Portable Mini Hot” from Madremia I bought from the river store. I went to a wedding and a couple of the other bridesmaids used it to and then bought ones for themselves.

  13. Can anyone recommend a decent hair dryer brush or multi-styler that can be thrown in a carry-on? Travel will be mostly domestic so dual-voltage is not required.

  14. Californians, who are you voting for for governor? We’ve been in the middle of an extremely tumultuous period at home and have barely been paying attention. Need to rectify that before election day…

    1. They’re all terrible, voted for Mahan in early voting and am not sure if he’s even in the race anymore.

    2. The Democrat who is polling the best when I vote. So, probably Becerra? I haven’t evaluated the candidates on their merits because I’ve been worried about the possibility of ending up with two Republicans on the ballot in November.

    3. Voted for Becerra, am suspicious of all the hyper-progressives in my town who are in love with Steyer the Billionaire. CA is a hard place to govern, and I feel like Becerra has the best chance of getting stuff done (instead of all hat, no cattle laws or cute social media posts).

    4. This race is a real disaster. I’ve heard pretty terrible things how incompetent Becerra was as HHS Secretary and in the debate I listened to he was the absolute worst offender with the generic meaningless politician talk and not even having a basic grasp of housing policy. I think he’s a terrible example of a Democratic party stooge and don’t want to vote for him unless he’s the only option to prevent a Republican from winning. I thought Porter, Steyer, and Mahan all seemed much more on top of it and have impressed me in various interviews, but each has their own set of flaws and run the risk of cancelling each other out. So I don’t know…

    6. Becerra. Unlike Steyer he is not promising a bunch of stuff he can’t deliver. And the HHS stuff was him trying to get kids out of Trump’s cages. They went into foster care and some of the fosters didn’t keep track of them.

  15. I haven’t purchased new jeans for a few years and I’m realizing I want to wear something more current, especially for weekend wear. What is current now? Are wide leg jeans looking current or are they going out of style already? What about ankle flares? Are lighter jeans more current than dark wash?

    1. lighter wash especialy for summer. i think sort of slouchy “boyfriend” style or short and full. honestly i think anything but tight skinny jeans are okish now, i see a range

    2. Full-length wide-leg or ankle-length cropped barrel jeans seem to be the most current.

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