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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
If you’re in the market for some shells to layer under cardigans and blazers this summer, J.Crew Factory has some great options. This linen-blend striped top looks like it would go beautifully under blazers and sweaters or worn on its own with ankle pants, if your office is cool with bare arms.
The linen/cotton blend is machine washable and cool enough for the most scorching day in the NYC subways. (If you know, you know.)
The blouse is $34.50–48.50 at J.Crew Factory and comes in sizes XXS–3X. It also comes in five other colors.
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
Anon
Thanks to you all I know of brands like Golden Goose, LoveShackFancy, and some other things that would never encounter in the wild. I ran across something new to me the other day: Queen of Sparkles. It is exactly what you think. But expensive! IDK what the demographic is for this but it is fun to look through — sort of stuff to wear to a Kentucky Derby party in Vegas maybe?
anon
A Kentucky Derby party in Vegas sounds like exactly my sought after aesthetic. I will look.
Anon
So you know that discussion we had this week about “what do you think you’re too old to wear”? I don’t follow a lot of fashion rules about what I “should” wear at age 45, but I know I am either too old or too young to wear those Queen of Sparkles clothes. I think you have to be under 20, as the models appear to be, or over 80 to pull that stuff off. Like the last time I visited my parents in their 55+ community there was a spunky 80+-year-old gal riding around in a golf cart wearing similar clothes to what I see on that website. So it’s not for me, but if it’s for you, nothing wrong with buying something you like, if you have someplace you can wear it.
emeralds
Okay well I’m obsessed with that whole look and wish I had a reason to buy this: https://www.queenofsparkles.com/collections/derby-queen/products/mint-horse-jockey-feather-botton-dress
Also love the mint julep tee.
pugsnbourbon
It’s Friday! Is that a good enough reason? :)
Anom
Omg, I’m going to a Kentucky derby party tomorrow. Not in Vegas. I WISH I had this dress.
As an aside, I’m totally at a loss as to what to wear to it bc my clothes are either – pre-2020 black NYC law firm clothes or jeans+tee shirt. I’ve not yet embraced the casually expensive suburban mom aesthetic.
Anonymous
What is the “casually expensive suburban mom aesthetic”? I want it. How do I get it?
Anon
Same wardrobe as you. Apparently I only have the ends of the wardrobe spectrum: clothes for depositions; clothes for yard work. Nothing else.
Anon
Now I want that dress.
here she goes
I want the queen of queso one very much.
Anonymous
The Princess of Sparkles collection for kids is adorable.
anon
Having seen it in the wild, target demo for Queen of Sparkles is sorority girls and grown women with disposable income on girls trips (who may or may not have been in a sorority)… and who are also probably wearing golden goose. I’ve also seen it as one offs for NYE.
Anon
Where are you and what do you do that you have spotted this IRL? Now I am very curious. I have seen GG shoes (maybe knock-offs) but not this. So expensive! But now if I could find something at Marshall’s, I’d get it but likely not make an outfit out of it until I move to The Villages.
Seventh Sister
I feel like Keely on Ted Lasso would love some/most? of this stuff.
Anonymous
I’m in dire need of a dress for a wedding I’m attending later this summer in Tahoe – but I’m plus sized petite. Help me shop?
Anon
What’s the dress code?
Anonymous
bride told me to wear a tea- or floor-length gown. but i don’t want to look like a bridesmaid.
Anonymous
Can you give us answer to all the usual questions? Such as, what kind of style do you like, what’s your budget, what level of formality is the wedding, are you dressing for indoors or outdoors, etc.
Anonymous
I don’t like very frilly things or floral things. i wear a lot of simple black pieces. Probably aiming to emphasize the boobs since I’m apple shaped. The really tricky part is that I cannot wear heels either – I might be able to do a baby heel.
Anon
Wardrobe Oxygen has a post this week with multiple wedding guest selections, and Allison is always size inclusive in what she chooses. Check it out.
Anon
Sue Sartor is perfect for a Tahoe wedding.
pugsnbourbon
Would any of these work? They’re midi dresses, but I think they’d look fine if they were a little longer on you:
https://balticborn.com/collections/extended-size-styles/products/poppy-satin-midi-dress-rust?variant=40419139289253&nosto_source=cmp&nosto=845698705
https://balticborn.com/products/marta-smocked-midi-dress-cape-verde-floral?variant=41757638721701
I think this one is super pretty but it might need hemming: https://balticborn.com/products/sicily-satin-maxi-dress-dusty-green?variant=41428244463781
Anom
Oohh, I’m looking for same thing, petite but not plus sized. Too bad the site limits returns to store credit only bc the first dress you linked to looks fantastic.
Anonymous
One of my friends who is plus and petite is a blogger (Natalie in the City) and recommended this one for wedding guest attire the other day: https://www.amazon.com/Floerns-Womens-Floral-Square-Ruffle/dp/B0B2NM2K2J/ref=sr_1_6?crid=TKHH2P6FUVAR&keywords=floerns%2Bwomens%2Bdresses&qid=1681765687&sprefix=floerns%2Caps%2C138&sr=8-6&tag=natalieinthecit-1-ltkna-20&th=1 I have no idea of quality given the cost, but I love the style (I’m a sucker anytime there are adjustable straps).
NYNY
Reformation has some midi dresses in plus sizes that might work for you.
I think this is pretty: https://www.thereformation.com/products/twilight-dress-es/1309308DAN.html
NYNY
If your style is a little more funky and the event is less formal, I love this dress: https://oseiduro.com/collections/dresses/products/bating-dress-in-mangrove
Anonymous
is this one too bridesmaidy? https://www.birdygrey.com/products/laurie-empire-chiffon-curve-dress-emerald
anon
yes
Anon
I’d look at Maria Cornejo / Zero
MJ
I am a tall cusp plus, and I’ve been looking at Macy’s, Bloomie’s, Dillards, Nordstrom, Kohls for my Labor Day tahoe wedding dress attire. Adrianna Papell also has cute stuff on their website (hit or miss on size). If you want to go pricy, look at Marina Rinaldi too.
anon
I have good luck with elloquii in general, though it doesn’t specify petite. https://www.eloquii.com/kimono-sleeve-maxi-dress/1238477.html?dwvar_1238477_colorCode=100&index=2&item_list_id=plp_category_page&item_list_name=Category%20Page
I’d also check anthropologie out, as they have free returns for plus size. I love this one shoulder linen dress: https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/by-anthropologie-one-shoulder-linen-dress?category=plus-size-dresses&color=001&type=STANDARD&viewcode=c&quantity=1
This one is one might read as a midi for someone petite: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/alfred-sung-high-low-cocktail-dress/4963388?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FPlus-Size%20Clothing&color=933
Furnishings second hand
Seeking insight into this recent attempt at buying second hand lighting. (I buy second hand furniture a lot, but I’m also eager to learn.) I am looking for a floor lamp or two for my house. In late March I saw one I like in a local (Georgetown DC), upscale, second hand shop that sells a lot of second hand art and high end furnishings. It’s an expensive store.
The salesperson gave me a very long convoluted explanation of the floor lamp: it’s a copy of a high end design. At one point I was totally confused about whether this is authentic or not, but he apologized and said he should have been clearer: it’s a copy. He stated lots of different numbers to me (no price was on the item) about what originals would cost now, etc. etc. Eventually he said that this second hand replica is priced at $1800 but he can sell it to me for $900. To me, $900 is the price that seemed real. He said that the store owner had bought 4 and had kept 3 because they were so great. The owner might be willing to sell more than just the 1 in the store. I passed.
Over the last few weeks I have been eager to find some more lighting and was thinking of the lamp I saw in March. Thus, on May 3 I reached out to the store by phone and talked to the same salesman who helped me in March. He knows which lamp I mean. He says the store (and the lamp) was all just last week on sale for 30% off, but now it’s back to the $1800 price. I tell him that he was ready to sell it to me for $900 in March so I’m surprised the price is higher now. We agree that he’ll check with the owner about how many lamps are for sale and about the price.
The salesman gets back to me by text and says they will sell me 1 lamp for $1200 (or two for $2200). I send a reply text with thanks for the info and a counter: I and remind him that he was ready to sell me a lamp for $900 in March and that I had hoped I could buy it now for $700. If there are two, I told him I’d buy both for $700 each.
They get back to me and pass. No counter offer. I had really thought they’d at least counter with the $900/lamp price, but nope.
Is there a way to better understand what’s going on here? Why would they have a higher price now than 5 weeks ago? Should I have used a different negotiation technique? Can I learn from a mistake I made here? I’m open to your words of wisdom!
Anonymous
Perhaps someone else has shown interest. Perhaps they thought you’d be willing to pay more since you circled back.
Anonymous
Were you in store both times? Being in person is a much more “ready to buy” vibe than phone/text.
Anon
Apparently they work on the haggling business model. They’re hoping you’ll cave. I would just tell them you’re passing at that price, but here’s my number if they decide to sell at the $700 price. Personally I would pass entirely because they don’t seem entirely honest.
anon
Agreed – some people are just bad negotiators and they seem like, at minimum, that. I’d pass. Spend your money where it feels good to spend it.
Anonymous
Doesn’t sound like a very good antique shop. I buy everything second hand, including lighting, and have never experienced such an odd negotiation thing. Plus that price for a replica is ridiculous, I bet you could find it on FB marketplace, Craigslist, or an estate auction for much less. I have a whole lot of really fancy lamps and I’ve never paid more than $250, and that’s for one which was rewired.
here she goes
+1 Also check Etsy and Charish for vintage.
Anon
+1
Estate Auctions have incredible deals – especially for things like this. I’ll never buy an antique in a store like you were in again…..
Anonymous
+3 the recommendation for CL, FB MP, and following estate sales dot net for in person sales. These are your best bets on scoring a deal via more direct sale.
Also, do you remember you remember the name? Or rather, the original designer this lamp is copying? This can help you narrow your search on auction sites and if you proceed with Etsy or other resaler/dealers
Add EBTH to your list too…it’s a more curated estate auction site than other mega estate sales auction sites.
Anonymous
It could have just been that the guy was mistaken in the $900 offer and lucked out that you didn’t take it at the time.
I’ve always been wary of vintage lighting unless you plan on rewiring it entirely. We just did that with a lamp we found at a thrift store; lamp was $10 and the light kit on Amazon was $20.
Anon
Right – to me, lamps are not hard to find and I don’t know that a $700 lamp is going to give me more light and more enjoyment than a $100 lamp. We buy almost all of our furniture and home decor secondhand and after years of doing this, my attitude is – if I see something I like that’s way too expensive, eventually I’ll find something I like as much at a more reasonable price; I just have to keep looking. Because our economy is based on consumption, there’s no shortage of “stuff” out there and generally I can find whatever I’m looking for being sold by someone who wants to get rid of it at a good price. I just have to be patient.
Anon
That seems odd, but what do I know. If you have a photo I’d use google lens to check if you can find something similar online.
Anonymous
+1 to using google image search. Can also help you on knowing the designer’s name!
Anon
This is why I believe if you love it, get it if the price is right in the moment. Waiting for better deals means you may lose the opportunity on the current one.
Anon
Wow, I think you’re way overthinking all of this. They changed their mind, just move on. Not sure what you hope to accomplish from analyzing this.
Anonymous
Disagree. The dealer was a shrewd haggler. Didn’t help that she called back specifically asking for that lamp and reminding him she was previously interested. He saw an opportunity to make more money.
Anonymous
This.
As soon as she called back he saw dollar signs and suddenly the best he could do was $300 more…
These guys are all very good at playing this game.
Anonymous
So it sounds like they were hoping to catch you off guard with all of those confusing numbers in march and “make a deal” and then changed their mind when you passed. It happens, just look elsewhere.
I have to say, though, as someone who buys 95% of everything second hand, there is no way I would pay that kind of money for a *copy* of anything, especially a lamp…
Look around, you are very likely to find something similar for much less.
anon
+1
They were trying to take advantage of you…. both times.
Anon
Recommendations for a 15-20 minutes kettlebell workout on youtube or similar? I’ve done kettlebells on my own before but looking for something streamlined where I can follow along.
Anon
Are kettlebells better or easier to use than dumbbells? I have dumbbells that I used to use but are getting dusty.
Anon
I generally prefer dumbbells, but there are some exercises that are better suited to kettlebells so I like having the option for that.
PLB
Fitness Blender
New Here
BodyFit by Amy on YouTube. I think most of her workouts are in the 25-35 minute range, but she also has shorter ones. And she loves kettlebells.
Anon
I like this lady: https://www.nourishmovelove.com/category/workouts/move-blog/by-equipment/kettlebell-workout/
anon_needs_a_break
Madfit will have some, she’s great!
Anon
I don’t understand what the Fed increasing interest rates means and I’m embarrassed by that. What does a quarter point increase really do? Can anyone explain it? Do they ever go back down?
Anon
They are f*cling new borrowers and anyone with floating rate debt. Basically screwing the young and poor. If you locked in a mortgage and bought cars or got loans a while ago, your rates may be locked in. Not good for the rest of us.
Anon
In theory they are doing it because they are more concerned about inflation and are trying to slow down spending. They are not doing it with the goal of “f*cking new borrowers” although I completely agree that is the outcome. I’m currently reading “Money: The True story of a made-up thing” and it’s really helping me to better understand our current system and how we got here. Written by one of the cohosts of Planet Money and very easy reading. Would recommend to OP if you want to educate yourself more on the topic
Gail the Goldfish
Also highly recommend listening to Marketplace (on NPR, or their podcast). They have good explainers on various financial things, including the Fed and interest rates, and is just generally interesting/excellent. (They also do a number of different podcasts. I keep meaning to listen to this season of the Uncertain Hour on the welfare system, because it sounds fascinating)
Anon
+1
This radio show/podcast comes out every day, morning and night, and is fantastic. I try to listen most days.
Anne-on
+1. To do some math – let’s say you’re looking at a $160k purchase with a 7.25% 30-yr fixed, your monthly payment is roughly $1100. In contrast, we locked in my current mortgage at 3% when rates were at an all time low a few years ago (2021/22). Using the same math (160k purchase price) it would make the monthly payment on a 30-yr fixed about $675 (plus taxes obviously). To compare the lowest rates to today’s 7-ish percent rates locks a LOT of people out of the housing market (675 vs. 1100 a month is a big difference!). It means that millenials and Gen-Z can’t afford to buy homes and begin to build wealth in the same way that older generations would have or those with higher income levels.
Anonymous
Actually the reasoning is to slow down inflation by tanking the job market. Which is dumb since in this case the inflation is being caused by a scarcity of goods and services (which I would argue is being artificially created by the sellers) rather than an excess of wage income.
Anon
Yes, and right now a significant portion of inflation is being maintained by corporate greed, pushing the limits as to what consumer’s are willing to pay. Scarcity of goods is not as bad at all this year, but why in the world would a company decrease the price of eggs/gas/rent/medical care when we consumers MUST buy them and often don’t have many options for shopping around because prices are risen everywhere with not enough competition.
Anon
Any time we talk about current consumer prices, we also need to talk about current corporate profits, which are at record highs for many companies. This is not a situation where companies are not making money or are on the brink of being unprofitable, and have to raise prices to stay afloat. This is a situation where corporations see the ability to leverage inflation and higher wages and make record profits so their stock price can increase and major shareholders can get richer, while the rest of us feel the squeeze. To add insult to injury, many companies are now also doing follow-the-leader layoffs, not because they are genuinely overstaffed, but because it will cause their stock price to tick up half a percentage point. This is France-right-before-the-guillotines kind of stuff and I am worried about what will happen to social stability if it continues.
Anon
That is not why they’re doing it come on.
OP it’s historically been a tool to get inflation under control by slowing spending.
anon
uhmmmm. I don’t even know how to respond to this, but OP, this is not “why”.
Anon
I mean, that’s what you sign up for when you get a variable rate loan.
anon
+1 million
I have a coworker who is telling anyone within ear shot about how scre wed he is. Well, buddy, you got a variable rate, high leverage loan when rates were near zero. If you didn’t plan for a rate hike or refinance out to something fixed as the climb began a year ago I’ve got no sympathy. If you don’t understand how rates and debt work, don’t take any of it on until you do. Doesn’t take a lot of effort to find answers. And, this is nothing I was ever taught so don’t blame lack of financial literacy in school (but also – come on, public school system…). I knew that if I was going to sign on a line for a giant six figure loan to buy my house, I’d better understand how it works.
Anonymous
but don’t they fluctuate all the time? we *just* refinanced a year or two ago for 2%; i feel like they’ve usually been between 3.5-5.5%. so while 7% is high i wouldn’t expect it to stay there.
Anon
Many people on this site or too young to remember inflation of the 70’s and 80’s etc…. My parent’s bought their house in the 70’s during a period of inflation not dissimilar to this, and their interest rate was over 8% and it went into the double digits for many people. For years! But the costs of housing then were orders of magnitude lower, so they could still afford their small house in a nice suburb/3 kids/Dad working with a very modest income/Mom working part-time for very little.
Refinancing a year ago for 2% is a miracle for you. No, they don’t fluctuate this much all the time. Not for many decades.
So young people right now can be in a tough situation when they are trying to go to college without a lot of parental support, and hoping to buy a house young.
Anon
Yes! I remember my older brother bought a house after getting married in the 80’s and their interest rate was 11%!
Anonymous
When I bought my first house, the adjustable mortgage rate was 7.45%. My sister paid 10%+. At the time, I planned to refinance someday, but got lucky that interest rates declined. Rates were at historic lows for a long time, probably too long. Todays mortgage rates are closer to the historic norm.
Rates may decrease a little, but they aren’t going back to zero anytime soon. The ability to decrease rates to a very low amount is a tool the Fed should use in times of crisis. But, if you’ve been keeping rates at zero for years, there’s no where to go.
The rate increases are very painful right now, but in the long term, are good for the economy. What we are seeing is rates starting to return to historic norms, and the fallout of everything that ran on the assumption of “free money.” There are books about Paul Volcker, but even a quick search on the Federal Reserve and inflation in the early 1980s that led to the prime interest rate rising to 21.5% on a federal rate of 20% — todays federal rate is 5.25%. The Fed is trying to avoid a repeat of this inflation, so that millions of people don’t end up unemployed.
anonshmanon
The Fed interest rate determines the price for which banks can borrow money. So the simplest way to look at it is that they will pass on that price to individual borrowers, which could be home loans, but also business loans. If you are looking to buy a house, the monthly payment will change when your loan goes from 4, to 5, to 6 or 7% interest. For some buyers, it of course doesn’t change things, maybe they just need to buy a house at this time, and just deal with the changed rate, but many others who have some flexibility may pause their home search and decide to stay put. So this will cool the market to some extent. Same is normally expected for businesses. Taking on loans at the higher rate is now more risky, so there may be fewer businesses that invest, expand, etc. Not all, but enough to cool down inflation.
There are tons of other factors that are factoring into price inflation (extremely limited home inventory for home buyers, labor shortage, corporate buybacks), so the Fed rate change is an incredibly blunt tool that may or may not bring on the intended changes.
The Fed rate changes , and it can go back down, possibly when we no longer worry about inflation. Here is a graph showing the last 30 years https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_funds_rate#/media/File:US_Treasury_interest_rates.webp
Anonymous
+1 The fed is changing the Federal Funds Rate which is the rate banks charge each other for very short term loans. This effects mortgage rates but mortgage rates are not set by the Fed directly. If I have time later I’ll come back and write a novel but in the meantime I recommend this podcast.
https://bfi.uchicago.edu/podcast/can-monetary-policy-solve-inflation-and-unemployment/
Anon
The increase is great for me personally. I’m finally seeing excellent interest rates on high-yield savings accounts and CDs – something I haven’t seen my entire adult life. Since we don’t have any loans I’m not affected by the increased cost of borrowing.
Anonymous
I agree! Savers have been scr*wed for too many years. Things are finally coming back to normal. There should be a balance so that savers can make some interest and buyers can pay for their cars and houses too. Every generation I know, from my grandparents on up, have been terrified they wouldn’t be able to make their house payments (until this last decade). But you know, they still managed to. When I was a teenager my father, in a tone of total gloom and doom, told me that with interest rates as high as 12%, I would never be able to make enough to buy my own house. And yet I did.
Anonia
Same. Finally, my CDs are making more than a negligible amount of money!
Anon
There is no need to be embarrassed by that! Lots of people get advanced degrees to understand this stuff, it’s not simple. Here’s my attempt at an explanation, apologies for the length.
A central bank has multiple goals but the main one in modern economics for most (all?) developed countries is to maintain the stability of the currency. Historically, countries were tied to the gold standard, which made this job easier. Today we are fiat system – i.e., no intrinsic value to our currency – which therefore demands much more active effort to maintain the credibility of the currency. This requires monitoring the money supply that is in circulation. If there is not enough money in circulation, the risk to the economy is that it limits overall growth, which if severe enough can lead to a recession; this obviously could have far reaching impacts on things like unemployment. If there is too much money in circulation, and specifically if it outpaces the ability of the economy to provide goods and services, that leads to inflation – and if that gets extreme, it can cause massive affordability issues for most consumers and in extreme cases severe unrest – think Germany in the 1930s, but also look at some Latin American economies today.
When something needs to be adjusted, the Fed has three main levers: it can adjust interest rates, it can buy or sell treasury bonds, and it can change requirements on the reserve that banks must hold. You’ll sometimes hear the phrase “quantitative easing” – that means the Fed is trying to increase money supply, which they do during recessions: they can lower interest rates, which makes it less expensive for consumers and corporations to make big purchases. The Fed can also buy t bonds: effectively putting money into circulation now, in exchange for a piece of paper with value on it. They will also allow banks to lower their reserve rates – e.g., the percent of assets deposited in the bank that they are required to keep on hand at any given time – this encourages the banks to put money out into the market via lending. In contrast, right now we are in something called “quantitative tightening” – which means the Fed is trying to reduce the money supply. By raising interest rates, it becomes more expensive to borrow money and spend, so consumers and corporations alike are less likely to do so. Continuing with those three prongs, they can also sell T-bonds, which effectively takes money out of circulation (a buyer gives that cash now to the Fed for a piece of paper with future value), and they can increase the bank reserve rates, which means banks need to keep more capital on reserve and not put it out into the market.
And yes, they do go back down! G o o g l e “FRED Funds Rate” and the first hit will show you a chart of the US interest rates over time. Notice that the rate falls when there is a recession (gray background shading on that chart). The times when it rises are during high inflation times (e.g., look at the late 70s on that chart). In some countries, including a few in Europe right now, interest rates can even be negative – the US has not historically done that.
Also, a plug for the Fed: it is really hard to do all this. That’s why you see so many repeated interest rate hikes – doing this well requires moving slow, and watching signals intently to know when to continue / pull back efforts.
Shelle
I appreciate this so much!
Anon
You got an early answer from someone who feels personally victimized and then a bit of a pile-on that went off track. But that’s not anywhere close to the reason the fed raises interest rates (to screw young people).
The fed has been raising interest rates to slow spending and increase saving. So we have rampant inflation right now, which hurts every consumer, and companies that sell things are reporting record profits, because people are still buying these things despite the inflated prices. The fed would like people to slow their spending as that is the only way prices will come back down, or at least stop or slow price inflation. That includes buying houses. To drive the price down, you need fewer people willing to buy. It’s supposed to be temporary, and the next time the fed wants to stimulate more economic activity and spur more spending, they will lower the rate.
My first mortgage was at 9% and it was considered a buyer’s market because rates were so high. As the fed lowered interest rates to try to get people spending again, I was able to refinance several times. The high interest rate did curb how much I could afford to buy / how much I qualified to borrow, but it also affected the house price. The people selling me the house were forced to sell it for significantly less than they’d bought it for a few years earlier.
Anon
Unfortunately I think the framing of this conversation often leaves out the elephant in the room: inflation is being caused in huge part right now due to corporate greed (record profits at the consumers expense). I don’t see any significant policy proposals from the US government to address this. Rather, consumers will bear the brunt of inflation AND the steps to try to counteract it.
Anon
I think they are addressing it, indirectly, by doing what they can to reduce demand. The US government mostly hasn’t been in the business of pricing goods and services.
anonshmanon
I think there is some awareness that, as some other poster put it a few days ago ‘we need some fetters’ i.e. unfettered capitalism wasn’t a great idea and we should steer a bit in the other direction.
Before Reagan deregulated, stock buybacks were considered illegal market manipulation. The inflation reduction act is putting a tax on them, although that is of course a very gentle approach. There were also some restrictions in the paycheck protection program, regarding paying bonuses and such. From what I hear, the executive order to direct government investment more strongly into underserved communities, is also bearing fruit. It’s all a patchwork and slow going of course, but I think some people are actively addressing it, the best they can with the divided country we have.
Anon
Unfortunately this will go back and forth as regimes change. I like that the fed is independent of elections, mostly.
Anon
I have an in-person, panel interview for a job at a university (not student affairs / student facing role). My suit does not fit and I am traveling for a wedding this weekend and don’t have time to shop (and I’m in the process of losing weight, so would hate to invest $100+ suit that won’t fit me in 3 months). My entire interview process for my current job (been here 2.5 years) was via Teams/Zoom so I could get by with a blouse and blazer.
I’m open to buying a cheap suit, going with separates, or some other idea. I’ve always worked in the nicer end of business casual (hence only one suit; I have plenty of fine work dresses, slacks, could maybe dig up an old pencil skirt but they aren’t suiting material). I also have black work pants and a black blazer, but they’re not a suit but I don’t think it’s terribly noticeable?
Open to all suggestions!
PolyD
My information may be out of date, but Macy’s used to have a lot of moderately priced suit options. Probably had the best options on line. People here have mentioned Banana Republic and Banana Republic Factory for suits, also Ann Taylor.
Or, since in my experience pants are always the most difficult, find a new top and jacket for the black pants you already have? I don’t think I’d go with a black jacket because blacks can be hard to match, but if separates are okay, a jacket in a different color might not be too hard to do.
Anon
I have plenty of blazers I could do separates with, but I am unsure if that’s okay? Post-COVID in-person interviewing is new to me!
I know that this team is very dress for your day; suits some days, jeans and a college T other days and in between most of the time so it’s hard to gauge.
Anon
I think it’s very unlikely that you need to buy a suit unless you live somewhere very formal or this is a very high level job (or maybe if you’re a lawyer). A nice dress or the blazer and pants should be fine, though I would wear the black blazer with a different color pants rather than having it look like a mismatched suit. I work in academia and have met with people interviewing for lots of different jobs and you see a pretty wide range of outfits.
Anon
Marshalls or Loehman’s — a dark suit will not look cheap even if it is cheap if it is sized right. It will just be invisible.
Anon
What kind of job? If it is a c-suite level job, or in the offices in the immediate vicinity of the president, I think you need to wear a suit or something suit adjacent. For example, you might be able to pair your black pants with a black shell and top with a chanel-ish jacket. You could find the latter at Loft, Ann Taylor, J. Crew, secondhand, and you could wear it lots moving forward, including with jeans on the weekend.
Anon
Not c-suite! It’s an assistant director role.
FP
I’m a director at a university, and I think separates with a blazer would be fine here. I vote dress with blazer if you already have that on hand.
Anon
+1 – I’m also in the c-suite and it’s been a long time since I’ve interviewed anyone in a full suit. I’d say go business but no need to go all the way to business formal.
Anon
I work at a university. I don’t think you need a suit unless you’re interviewing for the GC’s office or a very high level admin role like provost. I’m in higher ed communications and I got laughed at when I wore a suit to interview (pre Covid).
pugsnbourbon
+1. Blazer + pants should be good.
anon
Entry-level higher ed here, with lots of exposure to upper leadership (Midwest T-20 for context). We seem to be firmly in the “2019 business casual” realm for day-to-day outside of student affairs, and if someone showed up in an outfit like that with a blazer it wouldn’t raise any eyebrows here unless it was an interview for a senior leadership position. I wouldn’t wear the slightly mis-matched blazer and pants because that might be much more obvious in office lighting than it is for you at home.
Anonymous
If you have anything in university colors I’d wear it to the interview — if not look for an affordable dress and then put your blazer on top. I’d just go with separates for the interview, blazer + pants + blouse. What size are you? there are some suits on rent the runway.
Anon
Thanks all! I will do either dress or pants with a blazer.
I have a dark grey checked blazer, would that be okay to wear with a black sheath dress or black pants + plain blouse? Or should I do black blazer and a dress in another color? Can the dress be patterned or should it be plain?
Anon
Adding that coming from government, it is SO ingrained in me to only interview in a plain, dark colored suit so this is very different! Hence, all of my questions.
emeralds
Also in higher ed, will also +1 all the advice you’ve received so far. All of the combinations you’ve outlined here sound perfectly appropriate.
When I interviewed for my current job, I wore black suit pants, a black shell, and a gray tweed blazer. I have previously interviewed in a black sheath dress with the same gray tweed blazer, and also a black-and-white print sheath dress with a black blazer. I’m currently wearing black pants, a gray tank, and a white swacket, so you can see that my preference for neutrals has nothing to do with interviewing ;) Wear whatever combination makes you feel your most confident.
Anon
My presentation and pitch suit look has been a dark grey checked blazer with either a black dress or black pants + blouse for years. If you’re doing it wrong, I’m doing it wrong, and I have been doing very well. This will be a fine interview suit.
I probably wouldn’t do a patterned dress unless it’s a the type of pattern you find in suiting material. I have a very subtly plaid sheath dress that would be OK for this with a solid blazer, but I wouldn’t go with a floral dress, for example.
Anon
Good luck on your interview!
IHE
I have worked at a prestigious public research university for two decades in central administration. You can totally do this with a dress and a contrasting blazer. Do you have a darker color, solid (no pattern) dress that goes with any of your blazers? Plus hose and pumps = completely appropriate outfit for this.
Anon
Even cheap suits are going to be way more than $100. You might need to adjust your expectations.
Nesprin
For academia, provided not an ivy, or a southern college, the formal end of business casual is fine- pants or skirt, nicer top, mismatched jacket + cardigan would be fine.
I would not mismatch blacks, unless you can make it look intentional (i.e. different textures, knit+ not knit).
Anonymous
What are thoughts on money market funds? Are they almost as safe as online savings? I know they’re not FDIC insured, but other than that… I just noticed schwab has rates as high as 4.86 while my online savings account has 3.75-4.
Anon
I mean, how long do you want to lock in the rate for? If you want access to your $, you don’t have unlimited withdrawals from a MMF. If you want to lock in a rate, you can get CDs. You can get an Ally account with high interest with access to your $. Think of what is important — may be a good time to ladder small CDs.
Anonymous
I’m a small business owner with a tax extension, so I have upwards of $80k for taxes and retirement saved but will need it in 3-6 months. it’s currently in Ally earning 4%.
Anon
That doesn’t make sense to me. Your taxes were still do in April, even if you got an extension on filing the return. You will have to pay interest and possibly penalties on the amount that wasn’t paid before the deadline. If thats what you mean and you expect to owe this money for 2022 taxes, pay it to the IRS now
Anonymous
No – I paid 27k in April. My accountant always asks for an extension for some reason, and I can’t put money away for retirement until he calculates the number. I may owe more for estimated taxes throughout the year too.
Anon
Not if you live in one of the storm affected counties in California. You have till October to file and pay.
Signed, another business owner
Anon
Yes, I keep all my cash at Fidelity at a great rate in a Money Market fund. It is in my Brokerage account, which is also my checking/bank account. I use it to pay all bills electronically, my taxes, write checks etc…. and send my direct deposits there. When I pay a bill, Fidelity essentially just pays it for me and then removes enough money from my Money Market fund to cover it. I don’t have to worry about moving money around every month etc…
It is very safe…. especially if you have a lot of money that you are trying to keep in conservative vehicles and that you want to be able to get to quickly.
So I don’t use a bank any more. I have everything at Fidelity. A 2% back credit card, my IRA, my brokerage account, a debit card (which I can use almost anywhere/to withdraw cash with no fees) and “my bank” / money market fund. I don’t have any limits on what I can move in/out of my Money Market Fund (not sure what the other poster is referring to…).
I don’t know anything about Schwab. Yes, laddering CD’s is an option, but that is way more trouble than I want to deal with right now when rates are so good. This is something you should reassess over time, depending upon how much money you have, what your time frame is for needing it etc..
anon
Citizens Access savings is 4.5% fwiw. just popped up to that this week.
anon
Does anyone shop through apps for new clothes? I’m realizing I prefer to buy second hand clothes mostly because I do it on thredup’s app and I enjoy the experience. Same with buying jewelry on mecari or etsy. Does any clothing or department store have a particularly enjoyable worthwhile app?
Anonymous
I only use the apps when there is an app-only promo code. The apps are generally less functional and more glitchy than the websites, and they preclude you from earning Rakuten rebates.
Anon
I use the Nordstrom app and like it. But I also mostly shop secondhand for clothing, my preferred place is eBay.
I buy skincare, cosmetics, home goods, and sometimes undergarments at from Nordstrom via the app.
Anonymous
I like RueLaLa; they have a fashion feed and some theme stores that are fun.
Anonymous
I shop secondhand and prefer EBay because their filtering, watch and notification options work best for me.
PJ
Poshmark works well.
Anon
I bought a colored puffer this year — not pastel, just a deep jewel tone vs my usual black. I am not a filthy grimy person, but I looked at the cuffs this morning and OMG they were visibly dirty. I have no idea what is going on, but I sprayed it with stain stuff and some blue Dawn and put it in the washer to soak. This is why I can’t have nice things (or, apparently, COLORS). I had been wanting a pastel spring coat and now I’m just, nope, especially if it can’t go in the washer. And it’s dawning on me that my black coats are likely also filthy, I just can’t see it.
[What is going on? I walk a non-unruly dog, wait for the bus with my kids, grab lunch at work, grab groceries on the way home, rinse, and repeat. Coat is one of several cold-weather coats I have, so it is used about 1/4 – 1/3 of the time when it’s cold but not the coldest part of winter.]
Anne-on
This sounds normal to me? Kids are grime monsters, ditto dogs, and your cuffs tend to pick up a lot of dirt. I wash our down puffers at least monthly in the winter and then dry clean winter coats at the end of the season before they get put into our out of season coat closet.
Anon
Sounds normal to me as well. I always wash my puffers at the end of the season and spray the cuffs and neckline with Shout before throwing them in the wash.
Anon8
This is normal! The collar is probably also filthy. You have to wash or dry clean your coats, just like any other garment.
Anon
Yes, this. Anything I wear on a near-daily basis gets dirty and needs to be cleaned. I rotate between a puffer coat, a parka and a tailored wool coat in the winter and come this time in the spring, all need to go to the dry cleaners to be cleaned before I store them for the summer.
I’m going to be honest and say it’s weird to me that you haven’t (ever?) cleaned your black coats? Things you wear a lot get dirty even if you can’t see visible grime. Anything you’ve worn 10 or 15 times during the winter needs to go to the dry cleaner before being stored for summer. Even if it’s not exceptionally or visibly dirty, there’s dirt/grime/body oils on the garment and if you store the garment without getting it cleaned, not only can dirty garments attract pests but any light stains can set and become permanent by the time you pull the garment back out of storage in the fall.
Cat
This is not an issue, it’s normal, and it’s why you should wash or dry clean your coat at the end of the season. Even just accumulated oil & sweat from your arm will darken a knit cuff.
Anon
+1
Normal.
Ideally we should wash our coats more often than we do! Your black coat is probably dirty too and you just notice it less because it’s black.
Anonymous
This is totally normal. Get the pastel coat. I wash my puffers about once a season and dry clean my wool coats at the end of the season too. (The latter is a must even if the coat looks clean because invisible stains can degrade the wool or turn color after several months on the hanger.) If you’ve never washed your black coats, it’s time.
Anon
That dirt and grime is there regardless of whether you see it. Wouldn’t you rather see it so you can clean it?
Anon
Normal people get things dirty. Then you wash them. That’s how it’s supposed to go.
Anonymous
Wearing coats makes then dirty, whether you can see it or not, how have you never experienced that before?
Runner Down
I have been having sharp hip pain for about a month. It hurts most when I bear weight on it with movement, for example putting on socks, standing up from being seated, and running. I’ve continued to run through it because it feels better after running for a bit. I saw a sports PT who saw some weakness on that side (unclear if it’s the cause or a result). He also said some of my symptoms indicate a labral tear or fracture and if the PT isn’t helping soon I need to see an ortho for images. I went ahead and set that up for 4 weeks from now. I’ve stopped running, but am able to bike pain free so will continue that. For any runners out there have you experienced this? Does my plan seem reasonable or should I be something different?
Anon
Take your PT’s advice. Don’t ask for second opinions from people who have never evaluated you.
emeralds
+1.
Anon
+2
Nesprin
+3. if you have a labral tear, the stretching exercises recommended below can aggravate that.
Anonymous
If it feels better after running a bit, I would say it’s not a fracture (from my uneducated perspective). It’s likely a muscle or tendon injury. Rest is best for this.
Anon8
I will say I have a PT friend who misdiagnosed himself as having some sort of ACL tear and it turned out his leg was severely broken. PTs are great but they’re experts at muscle, not bone!
Anon
The cycling may be putting strain on your hip that you can’t feel in the moment but you can feel later. I speak from experience: just because something doesn’t hurt while you’re doing it doesn’t mean it’s not aggravating an injury. I know it can be hard to back off working out entirely if you’re normally very active, but until you get substantive relief from the pain, or get to the bottom of what’s going on, I’d back off the cycling and try to do yoga and other gentle exercise at home. I also agree that none of us here have seen you in person and so we don’t have better or different advice than the medical professional who has seen you and evaluated you.
Anon
I would have seen a doctor already. Pushing through pain is never a good idea, no matter what your high school running coach / art teacher told you……
You could be grinding through arthritis (and making it worse as you keep running).
Anonymous
you may want to look at the MYRTL routine – I’ve often had hip pain and doing these before exercise is supposed to activate the muscles you should be using and strengthen them as well. lots on youtube.
https://www.runnersblueprint.com/myrtl-routine/
I don’t run anymore but still end up doing these exercises from time to time to help with hip stability.
nuqotw
Anecdata – stop everything until you know. Spouse had a labral tear (med side effects / genetic predisposition). It took much longer than usual to get it diagnosed and then get the repair surgery because of the pandemic. While he was waiting he seriously limited how much he walked, took our stairs, everything. Nevertheless, he now has basically no cartilage in that hip, walks with a cane/stick, and will need a hip replacement in the next 10 years.
edj3
Yeah don’t be me.
I continued to run w/ hip pain and ended up fracturing my pelvis. Listen to your PT, and go see the orthopedist. Trust me, you do not want to play around with a fractured pelvis. That recovery was not fun.
Anonymous
Same here and I had a fractured femoral neck…oops! PT and orthopedist thought it was possible a strained labrum but apparently I have a high pain tolerance and it wasn’t presenting normally. Imagery is really what you need here.
Anon
If I thought I had a hip fracture, I’d not wait 4 weeks to see an ortho. Sure, it could heal, but then maybe you don’t know you have an underlying nutritional issue that needs to be addressed because you have a stress fracture of your pelvis.
Sunshine
I was an avid runner who had a torn labrum when I was 32 years old. I ended up doing surgery, which was successful, to fix it followed by PT. My symptoms were similar to what you described. Between the time I saw my ortho and had the surgery – which was about 4 months due to some work issues that I decided to prioritize before going out for surgery – my ortho said no running and no cycling. Walking was hit or miss for me during that time; swimming laps, elliptical, and lifting weights were my best options – unfortunately, very boring activities in my opinion. Expect the ortho to order an MRI, which can be expensive.
I believe in seeing the best doc you can for issues like this; the ortho I saw only does hips and handles the professional sports teams in my area. I wouldn’t see just anyone who says they are an ortho.
If you have to do surgery, post here again. I have thoughts about what helped my recovery.
The blogger Peanut Butter Runner has written about her hip issues and torn labrum; she decided not to do surgery and that seems like a successful story. I suggest you check out her posts on her blog about it.
OP
Thank you! I will do that.
Anon
I actually had hip labrum repair surgery a few months ago. rest and PT and see how you are. a lot of people can “recover” from the tear with PT, but if you can’t it can require surgery/crutches/non weight bearing for a few weeks. don’t push yourself too hard when you know you’re already hurting.
Anon
actually I would go to see the Ortho soon, as the first thing they did was order an x-ray to rule out fracture. hip labrum diagnosis has a few steps (PT, injection, MRI) but I’d rule out any sort of fracture first.
OP
Thank you!
Anon
Go to a doctor asap. I had hip pain at age 32, convinced myself it was a strain, and continued my normal active life. When I finally walked into a doctors office, I learned I had a stress fracture that slowly had developed into a full break. I had immediate surgery and, for the next two years, was at risk of developing AVN – which would require a hip transplant.
Even if you aren’t bad off, the piece of mind is worth it.
Anon
Has anyone ordered from Jenni Kayne? How’s the quality? I’ve only looked through the clothes but I suppose I’m also interested in the quality of the home goods.
Anon
I feel like these clothes look good on blond California people. The whole palette looks wrong on me (brunette with rosacea). It’s like a west coast version of Scandinavian invisibility clothes.
anon
lol I am also a brunette with rosacea, on the East Coast, so maybe this California aesthetic is only calling to me because I’ve been freezing this week and their sweaters look warm ;)
Anon
I’m a pale brunette with rosacea and also a native Californian! We can wear the blue items anyway, they’re just not what’s showing on the front page.
And I can tell you that save a few warm days last week, California has had no need for clothing like this in 2023. Yet, anyway. Sadly.
Anon
I haven’t but check out OneQuince, they have a lot of Jk dupes
Anonymous
I haven’t but check out OneQuince, they have a lot of Jk dupes
texasanon
Hi!
I’m the one who came asking about Yellowstone yesterday. My day immediately blew up after asking the question so I wasn’t able to participate in the conversation and I am sorry about that, but y’all gave me so much good information and I read everything, followed links, and took notes. To answer some questions, we are all adults. Currently looking at flying into Bozeman the week after Labor Day and then flying out either Bozeman (or now considering Jackson) Saturday 9 days later.
I know I said I’m a food person and I am, but I’m not expecting the French Laundry. I’m just hoping that every meal won’t be a squished pbj from my pack. I got a number of good looking restaurants yesterday.
Anon
I live in Bozeman, so let me know if you have any questions about the town! Livingston has great food as well–Campione is an amazing hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant. Chico Hot Springs, in the Paradise Valley, also has a good restaurant, in addition to a beautiful, historic hot springs.
If you’re staying in Bozeman, I would recommend staying at one of the hotels near downtown. Our downtown is very walkable and will give you a good feel of the town. I would avoid staying at any of the hotels near or on 19th Street–you will have to drive everywhere and it’s sort of drab over there. Livingston is also a neat place to stay. The historic Murray hotel is really cool.
Anonymous
if you like food, in Bozeman, you’ve got to go to wild crumb (James Beard nominated pastry shot that is incredible) and the sandwich place that shares the same space also has some killer sandwiches.
Anonymous
have any longtime Converse lovers bought Chucks recently? I know they changed their designs a few years ago and now all of the new shoes don’t fit me well — to wide at the ankle. I’ve definitely tried the AllStar 70, which is supposed to be their older shoe…
Meeting help
Hive, yikes, I am covering a meeting for a partner with an emergency. In 4 hours. And I have absolutely zero background in the subject. My specialty area (which I’ve been in for 8 years) has no overlap with this other area. There are 5-6 other lawyers who will be on the call – all representing other parties to a contract. I understand it’s not a dispute yet but there is an interpretation issue. Everyone will know I’m new to the issue but any suggestions for how to ask good questions and or advocate when I barely understand the issue? To make matters worse, the contract is massive and I probably only have time to get through the definitions page and the exhibit page that we’re fighting about. I don’t want to hurt the client and I just, ugh, fish out of water!
Anon
Pull in an associate with knowledge of the matter and the subject area.
Can the partner brief you or find someone else in the firm to brief you?
If that isn’t possible, please don’t try to wing it. Right now, I’m taking a break from looking up an area of law to correct a counterparty’s nutty interpretation (I know she’s wrong; I’m now wasting my time explaining why because she can’t read further than the title of the statute.) Grrr. I would state upfront that you are covering for the partner who has an emergency, are new to the matter and the area of law, and are there to report back to your partner. Take copious notes and ask a lot of questions.
Anon
Clarification: when I say “ask a lot of questions,” do so in order to help you understand enough to report back to the partner.
Anon
You acknowledge that you are there solely to take notes, not make decisions or ask good questions. Then you report to your colleague on both the substance and the tenor of the conversation. Pretend you are the secretary taking minutes. Advocacy will look ridiculous.
Anon
Absolutely do not advocate – you could make things worse. I’d just say so and so had a conflict so I’ll be listening in for them and not ask or say anything. If someone asks you a question, say I’ll take that to the team and get back to you.
anonchicago
Looking for a dress to wear to my daughter’s naming ceremony in June and for other events this summer. I’m 5 months postpartum with another 15 lbs to lose and a c-section shelf, so a forgiving fabric and cut are needed. My b*easts were big post pregnancy and are insane now so v-necks are out. I tend to look better with blues, greens, and purples. Saw a few dresses at Talbots that could work but that’s a bit dowdier than I’m used to, but my pre-mom brands no longer work.
FP
What about the Anthropologie Somerset Maxi dress? It comes in so many prints and colors and is very forgiving. You may have to add an additional (stronger) hook and eye or snaps to close the front, but that is a super easy fix that any dry cleaner could probably do.
Anon
Some good ideas here: https://themomedit.com/style-women-postpartum-nursing-friendly-best-wedding-guest-dresses-new-breastfeeding-moms-ruching-pattern-floral-flattering-shana/
Anon
Then do the Talbots.
Anon
+1
Anonymous
Don’t necessarily rule V-necks out. It depends on the depth and width. I wear a Jcup and find v-necks my best option.
Anon
I have a tiered maxi dress from Sugarlips and it is very flattering on! They have lots of pretty prints. I’m a 16 with a large bust and very hippy and their XL fit me great, though they also have plus sizes if you need to go up.
AIMS
Have you looked at Boden? Lots of patterns and comfy drapery fabrics.
I like this one (with a cami if the v is too deep): https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/multi-tiered-maxi-wrap-dress-prussian-blue-paisley-bud/sty-d0579-blu?cat=C1_S2_G4
AIMS
Or the somerset dress from Anthro in one of its many iterations? It always gets rave reviews. Or one of the smocked dresses from JCrew/JCrew factory, if that’s not too casual?
Runcible Spoon
This may be too casual, but depending on sizing and how tall you are, you might consider the sleeveless pin-tuck cotton knit dress from Land’s End. They usually come in solids and some beautiful prints, and you can throw a cardigan on top and wear some strappy sandals and be comfortable and stylish at a very low price. Right now, it’s only offered in a large flowered print, but for about $10!
https://www.landsend.com/products/womens-sleeveless-cotton-pintuck-tank-dress/id_358072?attributes=43389,44967,50027
Anonymous
what do very pale ladies wear for contouring makeup? i tried the Fenty lightest one and it just feels like it looks too muddy or something. i had heard the copper bronze look wasn’t good for pale skin. (pink/neutral undertones.)
Anon
I’m about as pale as a person can come, mostly with neutral undertones, trending slightly cool. I use the Fenty second-lightest (Amber Suede) and that has been the winner for me after trying a number of brands and shades. (I kind of felt like the lightest Fenty one almost looked more yellow.) I also have the Smashbox light/medium contour powder palette. I go on the light side for the contour stick and then add the powder as needed for a more dramatic look.
Mrs. Jones
I am pale and recently got the Westman Atelier Face Trace Contour stick in biscuit. I think it looks ok.
ANON
Westman atelier has a good one
Anonymous
I am pale and contour with a stick foundation a shade or two darker than my regular foundation.
Anon
I don’t contour and I don’t bronze. Contouring pretty much only looks good in pictures and not in person. Bronzing is mostly a no for me because I don’t naturally tan. I naturally burn. I wear warm toned blushes in the summer (lightly!) and that’s about it.
Anonymous
I think for very pale people it’s more successfull to use highlighter than contour.
If you do want to try, you could try a concealer or foundation a few shades darker – in a brand that does cold undertones. So a 2C shade or similar.
Do not get a warm or neutral, those will look like yellowy dirt.
anon
I have one of these linen tops from a couple of years ago, and it’s great. Easy to dress up or down. Now this gives me a push to order a new one, because perimenopause has made me, um, more chesty than I was in 2018-2019, and my original one no longer fits.
Anon
My neighbors who I barely know recently suffered a very tragic loss. They are grieving “out loud”, if that phrase makes any sense, and have been sharing everything on social media. Because of this, I feel comfortable making them a gift basket, when I would probably otherwise stay out of their business. I am thinking a nice blanket, some good tea, and journaling supplies- a couple moleskine-type journals with nice pens. Any thoughts? Specific recommendations (Amazon or big box stores only please, trying to move fast).
Colorado
Journaling supplies strikes me as way too personal for the relationship you describe. What about just the basics–food or a gift card?
Anon
Agree.
anon
Journaling is not for a lot of people (myself included – zero interest). Food and consumables are.
Cerulean
Food or a food delivery gift card. Offer to take their trash cans in out to the curb or something if you want to do something more tangible. Your gift idea is well-intentioned but feels to personal to me. And I already have too many throw blankets, don’t most people?
Mourning
My dad recently died after an illness. We received so many fuzzy socks, blankets, drinking cups with straws, packages of tea, etc. etc. All of these gifts were well intentioned, and almost all of them ended up in our give-away box because we didn’t need more stuff. My mom and I enjoy flowers, and we appreciated all of the people who sent fresh flowers or orchids to us. If flowers aren’t your thing, I agree with the suggestions to either help with some outdoor chores or send a food gift card.
anon
Is anyone watching (whatever your motivations, I will be a curiosity watcher) the coronation this weekend? I work with some Brits who reminded me the coronation is this weekend earlier in the week. I’m an american, but find myself very curious about this event. I’m not a royals fan or foe, but certainly have indulged in their gossip over the years and even tried to listen to a few podcasts on the royals. (Turns out I’m not that interested in their lives)
I know there is controversy around the monarchy. I am not trying to start a debate on whether the coronation should or shouldn’t happen. I am curious as to what, if anything, people will be doing to watch, celebrate or otherwise acknowledge it. If it’s not your thing, that’s great too. At the very least it’s a historical event that doesn’t happen often.
Anon
I would love to but it’s my daughter’s dance recital weekend and I’m consumed with that. I’m American but my mum is British and I’ve always been a big royal watcher. Got up at 3 am for Kate’s wedding back in the day.
NYCer
We have other plans during the day on Saturday, but I am planning to record it and watch it (or parts of it) at my leisure in the evening.
As another data point, my good friend who lives in Australia (American, married to an Aussie) is taking her whole family to a coronation party hosted by friends.
anon
I’m a royal watcher, I suppose. Came here for Kate Middleton fashion and style (she got married when I was engaged so it was very much a style/trend thing) and stayed for the Harry/Megan dramatics. Read Harry’s book.
I’m going to watch recaps probably – surely won’t devote my Saturday to it. I’ll catch some live before I have to take my kid to Saturday activities. I’m mostly just curious about the spectacle of it all. FWIW, I’m pretty darn team Harry&Megan or Damn The Monarchy or whatever you want to call it (and maybe someone would argue those are also two distinct factions… whatever). But, Charles and Camilla make me squirm on a lot of levels. But I’m really very curious – almost cringe-y curious – about the sheer spectacle of the ceremony. I certainly appreciate tradition and history, but I also find it really bananas that this whole thing is basically a function of just sheer luck and bloodline. Curious to see just how fully out of touch it feels in 2023 vs when it last occurred 70 years ago.
That was kind of a ramble, but maybe that’s reflective of overall sentiment. Curious but conflicted?
anonshmanon
I watched some of the Royal Weddings happening when I was a teen, because that’s romantic and kitschy and glamorous. Don’t care that much about an old man being the center of attention. I might click through a list of the dresses that people wore later.
Anonymous
LOL – the Sussexes are super pro monarchy – they are just big mad that anyone ranks ahead of them. Their faces when they had to sit with the other grandchildren at the Jubilee said it all. Harry is mad William ranks above him, he is not mad at the institution of monarchy or mad about ranking above his cousins. They use their titles and their kids titles nonstop.
Anon
Right. If they actually didn’t care about the monarchy they wouldn’t have insisted on titles for their kids.
Anon
I share your sentiment, but won’t be giving it my eyeballs precisely due to that sentiment!
Plus, I’m busy :)
Cat
Not getting up super early but will watch highlights for sure! Historical significance aside, I love the sheer logistics that go into that level of precise pomp & circumstance.
Anon
No. Yawn.
Cat
I could say No. Yawn. to a whole host of spectacles – starting with the Super Bowl halftime show and continuing to whatever the F happened with the Real Housewives the other week – but don’t feel the need to be rude about it. Just saying “not my thing” is a perfectly fine way to answer…
Anon
I don’t think it was rude. Was an enthusiastic yes the only acceptable answer to OP’s question? If so, please make that clear in the future.
Anon
It wasn’t rude and you don’t need to take it personally.
Paging Yesterday’s “Shopping Help” Poster
Paging the poster yesterday asking about purses with credit card slots— I left you a reply late last night.
TLDR: check out Latico Leather. Real leather and very well made. The crossbody ones seem to have built-in credit card slots and mine can easily fit two iPhones.
Update?
Paging the poster who was seller her house and had a potential buyer who wanted to make an offer contingent on their ability to make “dream home” renovations. What happened? Did you end up taking the offer??
Paging Vicky Austin
I recall you were due about a month ago and just wanted to see how you are. Have missed seeing your frequent posts.
Anon
I can’t share this with anyone else at work but big boss just confidentially informed me that my terrible boss is leaving the company!!!!!!!! I am THRILLED and probably didn’t hide it very well. They have been a terrible leader and our team has been in total chaos since they started. Also, even though big boss said that my boss “decided to leave the company”…. my boss was most likely asked to leave if big boss is the one telling me, right? ANYWAY, happy Friday to all!!!
Seventh Sister
Mother’s Day – do I even ask?
TLDR- Is it passive-aggressive to wait and see if my spouse and my kids remember?
Mother’s Day kind of snuck up on me, and while I have my own mom sorted out (I sent presents, I call the day of), I haven’t heard about my spouse’s plans for Mother’s Day. We usually do a long, boring lunch with my MIL, either at their house, my house, or my BILs’ house.
My MIL, who is basically Lucille from “Arrested Development” without the fortune or the stair car, views Mother’s Day as The Feast of Saint MIL, which is irritating but I’m not going to change a very elderly person who probably has dementia. Also, she’s feuding with my brothers-in-law (her own son and her son-in-law) and it’s a real battle royale because h*ll hath no fury like a mild-mannered Canadian guy who is holding a grudge.
While I don’t want to organize the Mother’s Day plans (my spouse has always done that), I’m a bit curious and it’s getting a little late in the game. For Father’s Day, I plan the stuff, remind the kids, and ask my spouse what he’d like as a present. He’s not the most inconsiderate guy, but I feel like the bar is kind of low for guys. My kids are a teen and a tween, so I feel like a reminder for them from me isn’t out of line. But I find myself wanting to let him sit in it.
anon
I don’t understand this post.
You ask your husband – are we doing something with your Mom for mother’s day?
Anonymous
I would watch this movie starring Lucille Bluth and a vengeful Canadian.
Also, have your kids make a card for grandma and stay out of the rest.
Seventh Sister
It would be a great movie!
Anon
Well, I hear you. And from public comments, you aren’t alone in being hurt and disappointed that men in general aren’t taking actions like planning and celebrating mothers day, spouse’s birthday, etc etc. But. You have a need (two needs really: being remembered and being celebrated). You can do nothing about having need 1 met, that either will happen or it won’t. But you can have need 2 met by saying something. Then you’ll have at least one need met, and possibly be pleasantly surprised by the response (maybe something is already planned, and so while you’ll not have the surprise of being remembered, you’ll have reassurance on need 1). The current tactic of saying nothing might mean neither of your needs get met, and it is also a little passive aggressive because you already know in advance you’ll be upset if neither need is met. I’d just speak up now
Seventh Sister
The more I think about it, the more I think that me getting upset (even if justified) won’t change his general behavior. Honestly, I don’t think I can make him be considerate of me unless I actually tell him to do something considerate.
Anonymous
Maybe announce your divorce that day and take yourself out to a fabulous lunch?