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Updated: May 31, 2024 213 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Linen-Blend Long and Lean Blazer

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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A woman wearing a bright pink blazer, white top, and light blue jeans

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

A lot of fantastic basics from Banana Republic Factory have made their way into my wardrobe lately (this reader-favorite tee, for example), but this hot pink blazer caught my eye as a not-so-basic wardrobe addition for the summer. The linen blend is a lighter option for summer and the bright hue will liven up any outfit.

I’m always a little nervous about white pants, but I think this would look fantastic with white trousers and a white top for a fresh, summery look.

The blazer is $50 at Banana Republic Factory and comes in regular sizes 0-18 and petite sizes 00-14. It also comes in five other colors. 

Macy's has a plus-size option in their Bar III line — it's available in 0X-4X and on sale for $54.

Sales of note for 9.16.24

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Concert

    I’m trying to decide what to wear to a concert in Nashville next month. Large arena, artist who was a very popular girl rock star the 90s. It’s a weekend away with husband and no kids, so I’d like to go sexy – thinking a low-cut tank with a push-up bra. What on bottom, though? The venue is air conditioned, but it still seems like it would be hot out for jeans. Cutoffs? A mini (but not too mini) skirt? Some sort of lighter pants I’m not thinking of (that would look good with my ideal top)? Suggestions please!

    • Anon

      Push-up bra is on-brand for “popular in the 90s”. I just went to an arena show and wore jeans. It was in the evening, so past the heat of the day. Vicious AC inside.

    • Anonymous

      Nashville resident here – I’m assuming its in the Bridgestone, which will be warm even with the AC. I’ve worn jeans in there plenty of times, but for a summer concert, I’d wear shorts. You will see literally everything in Nashville these days (it’s pretty ridiculous).

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, Nashville resident again – real people don’t wear cowboy boots here normally. Unless you’re going to a country show, just wear the shoes you want. (Is it the Alanis Morrisette show? Don’t wear cowboy boots.)

        • Concert

          Yes! I don’t own boots anyway, but that does remind me -what are good shoes for this. I normally wear sandals every where I can.

          • anon

            I’d wear sneakers. I am a big fan of wearing boots to concerts but I draw the line when it’s going to be hot. Unless it’s a country concert, and then I’m down for it.

        • Anon

          I’m in NYC, love my cowboy boots and I’m a real person too! Wear what you want even if others will deem you to not be a “real person”.

      • pink nails

        Not the same concert or city, but we went to Billy Joel/Stevie Nicks in Kansas City last year and I was super surprised at how many girls/women were wearing cowboy boots in variations of this outfit – and it was HOT. It’s a cute look but I couldn’t stop thinking about how hot my feet would be, so props to y’all that pull it off!! I wore Birk sandals. Not the most fashion forward but comfortable for walking distances, standing/dancing, and appropriate for the 95 degree weather. I know people have mixed feelings about sandals at concerts (feet getting trampled on or things getting spilled on them) but it was totally fine.

      • Anon

        Cowboy boots in Nashville in the summer would be a whole new level of foot sweat.

        • Anon

          I honestly haven’t had this problem? I always wear boots in TN because I find it’s too buggy for sandals. (Just ropers, not some embroidered cowboy boot statement. Though I support cowboy boots anywhere.)

          • Anon

            +1 I love a western boot because my feet love them but if it’s not for you, don’t feel like you have to try. Dont let the boot wear you.

    • Anonymous

      Cutoffs. +1 Do not wear cowboy boots…unless you want to look like you’re trying to be an influencer for the “I’m not like a regular mom; I’m a cool mom!” set.

    • Anon

      Sarah Maclaughlin? I’d wear a slip dress, denim jacket and sneakers. Always comfortable shoes at a concert.

    • FP

      I live in Nashville (and am maybe also going? Is it Alanis?). I’d wear a skirt or cutoffs. I do wear cowboy boots occasionally here in town – for me, if I was planning to go out on Broadway after, I’d avoid sandals in those bars because they are gross – and boots tend to keep your feet from touching anything icky on the ground in those bars (spilled beer / glass / etc).

    • Senior Attorney

      I feel like this would be the perfect opportunity to wear this summer’s slit-up-to-here denim midi skirt.

  2. Anon

    Reading from yesterday afternoon. I’ve never bought from Saint and Sofia but found a jacket I like there. How is the sizing? I’m a S at J Crew Factory and a M at Mango for jackets.

    • Anon

      Not sure about the sizing, but I’ve heard the quality isn’t great. Maybe the same level as Quince.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t shop at either JCF or Mango. I did find the S and S pieces to fit in my same size as my Elie Tahari pieces, and to like them work with broad shoulders and a defined waist. I found the quality good given the price point.

    • Anon

      I am on the higher end of their sizing, but I bought two cowl-neck shirts from them last winter, and they ran at least a size big. Stuff is never a size big in size 16, but it was.

  3. Anon

    Happy Friday!

    Sharing recent clothing/shoes finds (40-year-old who struggles with finding stuff I like)

    -Nike Killshot (size down) https://www.nike.com/t/killshot-2-womens-shoes-3z3Nnb/FZ5630-102?_gl=1*xjc04b*_up*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQjw-_mvBhDwARIsAA-Q0Q7vZIhQdjqPdD2jv09y4HkeL8U7lJjB-cuDAJGTfB5Ikfbq9IKhhhYaAiGsEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

    -Two white linen dresses https://www.madewell.com/embroidered-tank-mini-dress-in-linen-99107420073.html?source=googlePLA&noPopUp=true&srcCode=Paid_Search%7CShopping_NonBrand_PMax_NCA%7CGoogle%7CMWGGBS00002_99107420073_18211078200___c_pla_online__9001668&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Madewell_Shopping_PLA_US_Women_HighInventory_PMax&utm_term=&utm_content=shopping_ads&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6uWyBhD1ARIsAIMcADq_3VXU3J_TV6Hlr-uaHQnFucyl2CTub3p3S_0W9XHg0XA5RcvFbocaAsyvEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

    https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/dresses-and-jumpsuits/maxine-eyelet-shift-dress-in-linen/CA707?color_name=white&N=MEDIUM&noPopUp=true&srcCode=Paid_Search%7CShopping_NonBrand%7CGoogle%7CPMG%5EG%5E99107411427_20292560301___c_pla_online__9001668&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=paid_search&utm_content=shopping_ads&utm_campaign=JCrew_Shopping_PLA_US_All_Dresses_PMax_Womens_Google+_X&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6uWyBhD1ARIsAIMcADpermmkiB6hXXMYMWwLd4T5y-AX0LVXGSa-1Z4kS9tD4LLHpzQPnCQaAp3IEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#no_universal_links#no_universal_links

    Silk top https://fahertybrand.com/products/sandwashed-silk-desmond-top-lead?glCountry=US&glCurrency=USD&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6uWyBhD1ARIsAIMcADr4pUuDG13ai8eqfh3iUw9yLeVStjfyzDtWegHXVGGA9pWt77YktuoaAkwBEALw_wcB&variant=40609586053189

    Tan sandals https://www.toms.com/us/women/shoes/sandals/womens-kira-tan-leather-strappy-sandal/10020825.html

    Gauze shirt https://factory.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/shirts-and-tops/button-ups/petite-gauze-button-up-shirt/BY043?N=PETITE%20LARGE&fit=Classic&noPopUp=true&srcCode=Paid_Search%7CShopping_NonBrand%7CGoogle%7CPMG%5EG%5E99107266257_21151353249_160234932949_428709984386_c_pla_with_promotion_online__9001668&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=shopping_ads&utm_campaign=FACT_Shopping_PLA_US_All_Brand_rSC_X_Google_X&utm_term=PRODUCT_GROUP&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6uWyBhD1ARIsAIMcADpSC3TYYPt9Jqvxq3NCKBYqrolmeHFltynoPp_p_dgE6jwiVD2h1_gaAh08EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&colorProductCode=BY043

    Linen dress https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=425895002&vid=1&tid=onpl000078&kwid=1&ap=7&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6uWyBhD1ARIsAIMcADrB4Fo4_uluVf93Ltg4n4VfOdKrMMglw3olh3l9ed8_-o_Hk9FYqxcaAsS3EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#pdp-page-content

    Also some fun stuff with Uniqlo’s Marimekko collaboration. What are your recent finds?

  4. An.On.

    Friday poll! When you wear jewelry, do you prefer it to “match” or do you go for whatever you’re in the mood for?

    I always try to match metals and stones and hues, so I wouldn’t wear my silver pearl studs and a gold pendant necklace together or an orange necklace with a pink shirt, but one of my 20-something secretaries commented on it and now I’m wondering if that’s old-fashioned of me.

    • Anon

      I wear a yellow gold ring every day regardless, but I tend to match my earrings with my necklace. I think these days you can do whatever you want though.

    • Anon

      I always try to match what I like to wear with confidence. Seriously – are you going to let a random colleague’s comment (that she’s probably already forgotten) influence you?

      • anon

        Yeah, this is all weird to me. I don’t own much yellow gold because it doesn’t look good with my skintone and I happen to prefer the look of white gold. So I guess I’m not doing the mix and match thing?

        • Anonymous

          Same. I don’t wear gold because it looks awful against my cool-toned skin. I never understood why anyone would want to mix metals because it wouldn’t be flattering to anyone’s coloration.

          • Anon

            Both gold and silver look good on me… I don’t like super yellow or rose gold or super shiny silver (platinum does not work for me) but everything in between is good. I mix all the time and have so many mixed metal pieces that this take really surprised me!

    • Anon

      I wear what I like that is all about the same level of formality. So I would wear my diamond earrings set with yellow gold with my white gold diamond necklace, or my silver and blue earrings with my silver and garnet necklace, but I’m not going to sport a pearl necklace and a funky bracelet.

      • Senior Attorney

        This is where I land. My philosophy is all metals are neutrals and all neutrals go together. But you want the styles to play well together.

    • Anonymous

      I wear a two-tone watch and my two-tone engagement set every day. And then whatever else I feel like. I love mixing metals and couldn’t care less about “matching.”

    • Anon

      I almost never match. One of my college friends (an heiress) said “matching jewelry is for old ladies, like over 35.” Ah to be in college again!

    • Cat

      I think matching stones to your outfit is a little stuffy (thinking of how Talbots always has coordinating costume jewelry for their colors of the moment). And I probably wouldn’t do bold silver earrings with bold gold necklace since the metal is the point of the look. But otherwise I go more for overall “feel” than matching.

      • Anon

        Agree. What I really think are awful are jewelry “sets” with matching earrings, necklace, and bracelet. I’ve never seen one that I thought looked good, unless on Queen Elizabeth. And even the late Queen knew that was only for very formal occasions.

        • Anon

          There is a word for this that escapes me (starts with a P), but I agree that it only looks good when the set includes a tiara and it is REAL. So something to wear when you have a dinner with Nobel laureates or open Parliament, but not for anything I actually attend. Requires a long gown and some sort of sash to really pull it off.

          • Anon

            Parure is what you’re looking for. Popular in the 1800’s and a full set might be a necklace, earrings, brooch, bracelet, and tiara. Or the necklace might turn into a tiara.

          • Anon

            Yes to the tiara and sash. But if you’re buying the full matching set at Talbots, I’m a no!

    • Anon

      That is a very old school approach. I’ve always mixed metals and also patterns because I think it looks more visually interesting.

    • anon

      Most of my jewelry is white gold or some shade of silver, so I guess I’m unintentionally matching most of the time. I have a few costume jewelry pieces in various colors and wear those when it fits the vibe I’m going for.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t have a set approach. Sometimes I do jewelry as a pop of color, and sometimes I pick pieces that blend in. It depends on how much else is going on with an outfit: is there a print, do I want to wear something out of my extensive collection of reptile print shoes, etc. I don’t usually wear more than one statement at a time.

      • Anon

        The hill I will die on is no big earrings with a necklace. Studs or huggie hoops are ok but once you put in some big hoops or dangles, the necklace has to go.

        Big earrings + necklace is very Real Housewives to me.

    • Anon

      I’m 30 and exclusively wear simple, gold toned jewelry.

      The vast majority of my jewelry is either permanent or I essentially treat as permanent and virtually never take off.

      My permanent jewelry id a dainty gold chain bracelet and paper clip chain anklet.

      I have a dainty golf ball dot chain necklace that I haven’t taken off in two years. I also have two small CZ stud cartilage piercings that I haven’t ever taken out (I got them both in college).

      I wear small gold hoop earrings probably ~28 days a year. I actually love fun earrings but not as much as I love being able to always always have comfortable, fashionable earrings in.

      I have a garmin watch. I wish I could wear a cuter watch but I’m an athlete and love having my stats. I only take this off for formal occasions and have a gold watch I wear in its place.

      • Senior Attorney

        I solved this by wearing my beautiful gold watch on my left wrist and my Fitbit on my right.

      • Anon

        I’m similar. I have several ear piercings with essentially permanent gold rings or studs. I also wear either small gold earrings or diamond studs most of the time. My engagement ring and wedding band are yellow gold and I’ve worn a delicate chain necklace for 10 years. I sometimes change out the necklace or earrings to go with an outfit, but maybe 2-3 times a month.

    • Anonymous

      I try to match metals and hues also, but sometimes I’ll go for contrast and wear a gold necklace with a red pendant with gold and hot pink earrings…

    • Anonymous

      Always match. Bugs me when I see it not matching even on others. I also like shoes and purse to look intentional together though, so it’s probably a me thing.

  5. Anon

    I have a parent in rehab and getting PT. I guess I thought she’d be here for a few months but apparently they start reviewing after 2 weeks and can boot you out after a month for failure to progress and especially if it starts to look like you won’t make progress to be discharged anywhere but skilled nursing. IDK what adequate progress is supposed to look like in the elderly. Any guidance on how to navigate this? This is for mom, and stepdad is a weeping mess watching her with a walker, so I am the one trying to help them navigate.

    I have one friend who is a PT but she just works with disabled children, sometimes for years.

    • anon

      I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. An elder care consultant can help find services (in-home or at a facility).

    • Anon

      For my mother in law, the next step was assisted living. She wasn’t able to go home. They don’t keep you for long in rehab facilities so I’d start lining up her next spot.

      • Of Counsel

        OP did not give nearly enough detail to conclude her mom needs assisted living.

        OP – I assume your mother has been there less than 2 weeks and is up and using a walker? Have her doctors said anything to indicate they do not think she is progressing? That is a conversation to have with them. If they make noises about discharging her to assisted living, ask for a second opinion and a consult. As how long you have to find a place if they do want to discharge her. Find a geriatric social worker to help you navigate the system. A lot is going to depend on what her permanent limits are and her prognosis.

        Is her house appropriate for someone with a walker? Can it be made appropriate for someone with a walker? Does her state or country have an office for the aging? They usually have resources for installing ramps, grab bars, etc. She might need OT to help her learn to navigate. If the house is not appropriate and cannot be made appropriate, what level of care does she need? There is a long way between assisted living and needing a place with a bathroom on the first level (although an independent living community with an option to transfer to higher level of care might be ideal). She and your stepfather might want or need to move but you cannot know that given the information you have right now.

    • KS IT Chick

      They have to do these assessments for Medicare, to show that the patient is using resources in a productive manner. If someone isn’t making progress, they are potentially taking a bed that someone who could benefit greatly from the treatment would need.

      The facility should have started talking about therapy goals and discharge planning almost immediately after admission. Ask for that person to give an estimate of how long they feel your mom needs to be in the facility and what the next steps would be. They should also be looking at what resources are available for her to go home, to an assisted living facility, or to a nursing home. A nursing home might offer more therapy options that would eventually allow her to go home with help.

      There’s no cut and dried answers for this. Her care providers may have more ideas on what she needs.

    • Anon

      In my experience, they try to get you out rehab ASAP unless you have amazing insurance or very serious medical injuries with high likelihood of recovery, or you have family there showing support and pushing for more. You really need an advocate there helping your parent do their exercises/make progress/reach goals to lengthen the stay, and to fight for more therapy. I used to talk with the therapists to come up with more goals to lengthen the stay. Goals usually involve function and must be objective/measurable. some rehabs / therapists are more helpful than others. They can be longer walking distances, ability to get on/off the toilet, dress themselves etc…

      Sometimes you can lengthen the stay if they are doing well enough that they may recover enough to go home, and need time to set up the house so it is accessible. But honestly it is work to fight for this and coordinate the house changes (buy things/hire people). Very hard for the “healthy” elderly parent to do on their own, especially with the stress of the situation and just managing everything on their own.

      • Anon

        Dealt with this with my parent — the insurance would only cover a longer stay if they were showing progress. Having the physical therapist/other rehab staff on your side is _vital_. If they write in the chart that the patient is progressing and has supportive family, the insurance is more likely to sign off. If it’s possible, attend the PT appointments and discuss your goals with the PT, and be specific (i.e., if your parent’s home has two steps up to the front door, then your parent needs to be able to navigate stairs/handrails). IME, physical therapists tend to be very “can-do” folks, so they’re willing to advocate for patients who are motivated to improve.

    • joan wilder

      If by some chance you are located in the Boston area, I have some recommendations for finding a geriatric care consultant, in home private pay care (PT or FT), and assisted living. Post a burner and I can send. The uncertainty of rehab stay was so stressful to plan anything, since when my mom was in we were all living across the country and overseas and no one knew when to travel for release.

    • Anon

      I work in this sector but in the UK (so insurance is not the same level of factor).

      In general, progress means that the person is starting to progress towards their goals. You should be able to see what those goals were, as they will have been defined at the start of the care package.

      Good luck, hope this goes well for you parent. Xx

    • Anonymous

      I bought this blazer when Senior Attorney shared the link a couple weeks ago and love it. I wore it once and got many compliments. The matching pants were a disaster though– they’re not cut well and were very uncomfortable and unflattering in a way that wasn’t size-related.

      • Senior Attorney

        Yay for the jacket!! Too bad about the pants not working out, though!

    • Anon

      I love this color and price, but not sure about the style. I’m short and short-waisted, and I think this will be too long on me, even if I get the petite size. Do any other petites have this blazer?

  7. HELPPPP!

    Help me pick ONE jacket that could go with pretty much ANY color outfit/shoes etc. I am traveling a lot for work and suddenly have 15 different jackets and none of them seem to work. So with the caveat that I do have a LOT of other jackets for extreme ends, I am trying to find one flattering on my short curvy body (size 12, 5 feet 1) that I can wear to meetings and speaking events and generally feel put together. Do you have any favorites? Actual links very appreciated, as I have been searching for months now.

    • Anon

      J crew lady cardigan, match color to your shoes and it will always seem like a deliberate outfit.

      • HELPPPP!

        Thanks! Do you mean the sweater cardigan instead of a coat/jacket/blazer look?

        • Anon

          Either — the cut is the same and they come in a million colors. I think I’d choose based on formality. More formal is the blazer ish piece and less formal is the sweater version.

    • Work Phone

      I’m looking for a light gray blazer myself for that exact reason. Still haven’t found one but I’ll post back if I do.

      • anon

        I love light gray pieces. They’re so versatile. Also hard to find at times. Everyone has black and camel but gray looks so much better on me.

      • Eager Beaver

        I have a grey going out blazer that works really well for this. It also travels incredibly well.

    • Anon

      How do you feel about cream or off white? That should be able to work with almost everything.

      I pared down my wardrobe basics to two colors when I traveled a lot – for this time of year it was gray or navy. I had jackets that went with either of those. I have never been a “pop of color” wearer so YMMV.

      • Anon

        +1 white/cream (whichever shade suits you best) is something I’m seeing lots of this season

      • anon

        What color pants would you wear with navy? This trips me up. I like the look of black but occasionally someone will make a comment that it violates a fashion rule.

        • Anon

          White, cream, khaki, burgundy, grey, and yes even black but it depends on the shade of navy and the shade of black and the rest of the outfit

  8. Cb

    I worked out while away and my clothes are in a plastic bag, but my backpack is stinky! Do you put your sweaty clothes in a ziploc? I normally don’t get sweaty at yoga but spin + hot yoga means my clothes were pretty gross.

    • Anon

      I use a ventilated packing cube. It’s washable if needed for gross things.

    • Anon

      I hang them up to dry in the hotel and then toss them in with the rest of my dirty clothes. It’s the staying damp that’s the problem.

      • Same

        +1. I hang my stuff to dry in the hotel and then pack with dirty clothes. Or, because I’m a stinky sweater and, if I have time, I will rinse out my workout clothes, then hang to dry, and then pack with dirty clothes.

      • NYCer

        +2. If not possible to dry before you leave, I put them in a plastic bag and remove them immediately when I get home.

      • Anonymous

        this is what i do too. we have wet bags for still-wet clothes, though, like when we’re leaving the waterpark and have changed into dry clothes for the ride home.

    • Cat

      Damp or sweaty = air dry before packing, or if not possible, wrapped in a plastic bag or ziploc and removed immediately at home. Do this basically for every beach trip because we’ll spend every last second at the beach before having to go home!

    • Anon

      I pack a wet bag and ziplocs if I’m going to be somewhere where I know I’ll get sweaty/covered in sunblock and unable to shower but I still let things air dry as much as possible. If you can’t wash your backpack I’d spritz it with vodka and let it air out in the sun if possible.

      • Cb

        I’ve got a survival of the fittest approach to washing things so I’ll wash my backpack and dry it in the sun.

        I did a rinse of the first batch, but did a sweaty workout this am and couldn’t air out before checkout.

  9. Anonymous

    I am getting this annoying popup asking me to create a Grow account to see Corporette content. I can sometimes ignore it but sometimes it blocks the page. Is this a page feature or an ad?

  10. sanibel/captiva/marco

    Has anyone been to Sanibel or Captiva lately? How is the recovery going post Ian? We’re poking around a last minute vacation for end of June and I saw something interesting on Captiva but looks like the resort is only 2/3 back open. The non-open stuff isn’t bothersome to me, but wondering if the rest of the island/area is still pretty shut down or not. How about Marco?

    • Cat

      idk about your heat tolerance, but we stayed on the beach in Naples for the 4th once and never again. The water was so warm it felt hotter than the 95 degree stagnant air. Love the Gulf for winter & spring, but would pick the Atlantic side for a mid-summer getaway…

      • OP

        Interesting. Good to know. I’d kill to go to the gulf (never been!) and heat doesn’t scare us – we’re northerners but have done ATL in July/August several times to see family. We did Charleston in August 2 years ago, and thought it was fine. I’d heard gulf coast is hotter than Atlantic, but didn’t realize it was quite that bad. We have two little kids and were hoping for calmer waters and quieter beaches than the Atlantic coast, but maybe we should refocus to the other coast.

        • Cat

          If you don’t mind the heat, you’ll get your wish for calm water. Marco is probably in better shape than the others; the further south, the less damage.

          You could also consider – although counterintuitive – going further south. The Caribbean will probably be cooler than Florida.

        • Anonymous

          Red tide is an issue in the Gulf in the summer. The water gets really hot because it is so shallow. I don’t know if it is likely as early as late June, but definitely later in the summer.

        • Anon

          I grew up going to Cocoa Beach – from when I was young enough to be in diapers. The morning tides are pretty gentle and you get a nice breeze. It gets rougher in the afternoons/evenings. And it’s a family-friendly area.

    • Jmllmj

      Hi, I was just out to Captiva last week. Many restaurants are open. We had a wonderful lunch at the Green Flash. The restaurants on Andy Rosse lane are open. If you are staying at South Seas, they have food trucks available, but no sit down restaurants. There is a great deal of construction happening in the entire area and traffic can be congested and slow. It is amazing to see how nature and wildlife are recovering from the hurricane.

    • anon

      So I am actually typing this from Marco, and I will tell you that it’s 90 degrees already. We have a boat so we’re out on the water and it’s not as bad, but it’s been stifling on land (for some reason, there hasn’t been a lot of breeze until today).

  11. Anon

    Am I crazy to drive from Charlotte to the Poconos in the summer or should I fly into Allentown and then rent a car to drive? I don’t know what I hate more — summer air travel or summer road travel. I’ve done the drive solo before as a long day in the car; might make it two days (although unpacking and repacking for an overnight is also a PITA).

    • Anon

      I would drive; 81 is such a straight, easy drive. You might see an extra five cars in the road near Shenandoah because of summer traffic; it’s not like driving around DC at peak cherry blossom season.

        • Gail the Goldfish

          Agreed. I-95 is the actual worst (no matter where on it you are, too) and a source of much of my holiday driving stress.

    • Anon

      A friend of mine is from the Allentown area and his wife is from Philly and lives in Charlotte now. They drive home 2-3x a year and don’t really mind it (will do the RT drive twice in a month for both Thanksgiving and Christmas).

    • Anon

      I do a 1,000 mile (OW) trip regularly. I pack a suitcase with most of my stuff, and I pack a diaper bag for the one night at a motel. That way I don’t have to bring everything in the room.

  12. Tweed

    I was in NYC this week for work. Never left midtown/midtown east. The amount of tweed I saw was remarkable. Especially for a nice stretch of weather (was there Tues/Wed). I’m in finance and work in Boston, so we’re not exactly known for being fashion forward but certainly polished enough in my business. I saw tweed lady jackets at least 4-5 times either in meetings or in the street, tweed shift dresses, tweed sheath. Is tweed having a moment that I’m just totally out of the loop of? Some of it might be technically boucle, but either way, it was a noticeable pattern.

    • Cat

      Tweed boxy jackets are way more popular than traditional wool suiting style jackets around my office (Philly). Expect some linen versions to swap in now that it’s summer.

    • anon

      Tweed is the answer to a solid wool suit is too formal but I cannot do business casual. SEUS here and we have plenty of middle aged guys that leaned into purple tweed and herringbone patterns of all things as their “fun” work coat without a tie.

    • Anonymous

      I think light colored tweed or boucle is always popular in the spring. It works especially well if you want to wear a jacket but don’t want a matching suit. I’m a little surprised to hear that you saw several tweed dresses, but I’ve been seeing them in stores. I know you know this — but keep in mind how much more concentrated the folks wearing business attire are in midtown NYC versus Boston. In Boston, especially with more remote work, I’d estimate at least half of the people walking around outside the larger office buildings are students or tourists.

    • joan wilder

      I’m in NYC and I just bought an incredible tweed jacket for work yesterday so I think/hope it is having a moment :)

    • Anonymous

      I think it’s having a moment. I noticed tons of colored tweeds in the most recent Bridgerton season.

    • Senior Attorney

      This is so funny — tweed/boucle was having a moment when I got the job I just retired from, 19 years ago, and it’s cracking me up to see the same things cycling back around now. I love it, though.

  13. anon

    I need some help being a better manager.  We’re having major problems with our admin teams at my organization, with a lot of confusion about processes and years of built up anger and pettiness.   I am a few months into a new role, and have 2 admins under me who have regular conflict with my boss’ admin.  I think it’s 50% process confusion, 50% strong personalities.
      I am really struggling because every time I try to have a conversation with the admins (e.g. during our one-on-ones, during department meetings, when addressing a particular error), things always circle back to complaining about how overworked and understaffed they are, and how unreasonable my boss’ admin is.  (FYI, my boss’ admin’s rant is about how lazy my admins are).   I cannot get answers to questions like “what is the process SUPPOSED to be for this?”, or “Can we look at if our workflow is helpful us here, and if there’s anything we can change to our workflow to make sure this doesn’t happen again?”, or “How can I train the new staff members to work with you more effectively?”.   
    Today when I was trying to understand how a workflow led to us missing a critical email, and instead of constructive discussion was getting the usual rant about how we’re so understaffed, I  lost my temper a bit and yelled at one of them that I didn’t want to hear about us being understaffed again.  That I know we are understaffed, and they know I’m actively hiring and that help is coming, but none of that will change our terrible workflow that leaves read and unread email mixed together in the same shared email address, and if we improve our processes we might not feel so overwhelmed all the time. I feel terrible about losing my temper, and yet, I’m so tired of the constant negativity, and the blaming rather than looking for ways to make things a bit better.   As is, I’m spending about 25% of my time dealing with admin errors or admin rants, and I’m pretty unhappy as a result.  Does anyone have suggestions on how to help people get unstuck when they start ranting?  How do I know if I need to be gentler or firmer?  (My standard operating mode is to be very empathetic and gentle, until, obviously, I snap).  I’m at my wit’s end.  

    • Anon

      You need to stop being empathetic with the “but we are overworked” ranting and **immediately** direct it back to the issue. Do so without explaining that you are hiring more people; reiterate the precise question and then wait for an answer.

      • Risked Credit

        This! Also put your own process in place if they don’t answer after the second time you ask the question. I have a gentle style but I hold my team accountable while making sure they have a clear idea of what I expect them to accomplish. I would start with sitting down with the boss’s admin and getting from them a list of what they expect from the admin team. The admin team need to execute on that list. If they don’t perform you need to update the process, offer training to the admin team or if its really bad replace them.

        Sometimes, from a manager perspective, problems are resolved because people are actively wanting to be part of the solution. My experience has been that 80% of direct reports don’t actually want to be part of the solution so I let them tell me that by their non-response and then put the process in place showing them how to get it done.

        • Anon

          This is the answer. I oversee an admin team and you need to set time aside, create a draft process, have them tweak it, and then make sure it’s followed.

          Talk about things all you want, but it’s better to set your own expectations re process in writing, get their buy-in on pieces they’ll know more about, and then have everyone move forward as one.

      • Anon

        I think the opposite is required here. Clearly they have a lot of complaints about their current burden, and based on the fact that you’re hiring you seem to agree on some level that they are understaffed. You’ll be able to get the answers from them if they feel like they are being heard on their complaints and you’re on their side, and I think that requires even more empathy.

        • Anon

          If you are being empathetic to the point wherein they are not answering clear and direct questions, they think that the sessions are for empathy and not for solving the problem.

    • Anon

      I think you need to firmly but kindly redirect – “I hear you but right now we are discussing process” and then keep the convo moving.
      I’d also stop trying to ferret out what the process is supposed to be or why did XYZ happen – seems like there probably aren’t good systems and never were so when you ask people feel dumb and are getting defensive. Instead, why don’t you just say “we need a different system so we don’t miss emails” and then propose something? If people have 15 reasons why they can’t do it or it won’t work, listen and figure out if they’re excuses or legit problems – if they are already overworked and don’t have time for this new process, either it needs to wait or something else needs to be taken off their plate.

      • Work Phone

        It might also help to empower your admins to create a new process/system themselves (with your guidance).

      • anonshmanon

        That’s a good point. Maybe there is no system, or they were not properly trained and had to figure it out on their own, so when you probe into the existing process they don’t want to admit that, and thus derailing is an easy way out.

        • Anon

          This is more prevalent than any office wants to admit. Without guidance on an actual process the administrative staff will create their own and sometimes those created processes break down over time or the responsibilities stop being evenly distributed.

    • anon

      Well, this sounds like a messy situation, and I don’t blame you for eventually snapping. I assume your boss is well aware of the issues? How much leeway do you have to change the processes and basically tell them how it will be done? Can you and your boss have a come to Jesus meeting with both of these teams, together, and basically tell them that the attitudes are not helping and that everyone needs to come together to make the processes better and more efficient?

    • Anon

      I have been in charge of the admins. As a woman manager/director it always fell to me. A lot of my supervision involved mediating spats between the admins. It was all so petty. There were also admins who didn’t want to do work they felt was beneath them, like making copies. Two of them refused to work together in any way.

      I think you’re on the right track to keep asking for answers to the specific issues and cutting off the complaining, but having been there, I know how tough it is. So sorry!

      I once vented to a friend and asked why it was like this. She said the admins were fighting over the crumbs left behind by the patriarchy. I thought that was an interesting take.

      • anonshmanon

        This reminds me of a story that my mom shared. Through a reorg she was put in charge of the front desk of a big building that serves the public. There were some inefficient processes, communication breakdowns, and there just was no appreciation whatsoever for the role they played in the organization. When my mom stated that they clearly are doing a good job under the circumstances, she said the team basically teared up at the modest praise.

    • ABanon

      Tell your admins what they can deprioritize until you have more staff & emphasize what needs to be timely & correct (no exceptions). Point out that you (and they) don’t have time to waste complaining about staffing when there’s work to do. Tell them it’s their job to work cooperatively with the boss’s admin and they’re not performing a core duty if they cannot. Actually get new staff onboarded and try to keep this toxic environment from spreading to them too (because it will).

      Why are you asking them so many questions instead of giving direction? Seems you’re just opening the floor for excuses as they may not understand WHY your asking. Why don’t you have a better understanding of what they do or should be doing — and can you get a mentor or someone else besides the admins to explain it to you so it’s not so clear to the admins that you don’t understand (and therefore can’t effectively manage) their work?

    • OP

      super quick response due to the demands of the day, but I wanted to say thank you very much for the thoughtful and helpful ideas. Yes, my boss is well aware, and also frustrated.

    • Nesprin

      You need to be less empathetic and more in control- it is not kind to anyone to suffer in silence till you snap. Can you practice being clearer about when you’re not open to rants and what you need from your people?

      If you have the ability, can you take a few hours, get everyone in a conference room (explain you’re not interested in rants and shut them down when they come up) and figure out a better system? Outlook’s task tracking software is weirdly good for example.

    • Anon

      It sounds like you are asking them to come up with a better process and, IME, that’s unlikely to work. I would come up with improved process yourself, put it in writing and give them time to review, and ask if they have any concerns about it. Once any concerns have been ironed out, implement it.

      Some people are good at identifying problems, but not solutions.

  14. Anon

    What room of your house do you apply your makeup? Right now my makeup is spread out on top of my tall dresser in my walk-in closet, but there is no natural light in there. The light is better in our bathrooms but there is not much storage space or counter space.

    • anon

      Bathroom. It’s easiest that way and the lighting is fine, even if it’s not natural lighting.

    • Anon

      I have a tall free standing cabinet in my bathroom that has a gilt mirrored tray on top that holds my makeup. Above that is a lighted magnifying makeup mirror, installed on the wall. One of those articulating arm things like you see in hotel rooms, but this one is better.

      • Anon

        Speaking of light, I have a mirror downstairs at my house that has a lot of natural light coming in behind it, so not too bright but filtered. That is the BEST place to put on makeup, but I need the magnification, and there’s no place to put out my makeup near that mirror, unfortunately.

        I HATE working from a makeup bag. Everything has to be out and accessible for me. I repurpose pretty candle jars to hold long things like brushes, mascaras, etc.

    • Cat

      Bathroom. Way better lighting and no issues if something spills. When we redid our bathrooms I switched everything from pedestal sinks to cabinet vanities, changed a two-sink layout to a one-sink (we NEVER run into sink sharing issues and counter space is so much more valuable!) and also hung mirrored cabinets above the toilets for storage.

      • Anon

        Toilets? Plural? Oops thought you were talking about one bathroom with two toilets! Haha. Nightmare material.

        • Cat

          ha no way, toilets as in “we have more than one toilet in our house” not “more than one per bathroom”

    • Anon

      Bathroom. I have some but not much counter and storage space, but I live alone and do minimal makeup so it works.

      My daily makeup (BB cream, eyebrow gel, mascara, cream blush) lives in a little bin on my counter.

      Special occasion makeup (eye shadow, eye liner, lip stain, highlighter) lives in a bin on a shelf in my closet.

    • Anonymous

      Bathroom. I need to be able to dampen and rinse sponges, wash my hands after applying or blending products with my fingers, and easily clean up any spills or drips. Makeup or hairstyling in any other room grosses me out.

  15. Olivia Rodrigo

    You have $270 (no more, no less) to spend on yourself (not your family, partner, etc.). What would you buy? All ideas welcome!

    • anon today

      Do you want it to be something you have for keeps or for a consumable/experience?

    • Anon

      Probably a pair of earrings from Kojima pearl, if I’m being honest.

      I feel pretty set with clothing, footwear, and handbags right now. So that leaves jewelry.

      • Anon

        +1 – I love their pieces and their customer service is great. I asked if they’d be doing a memorial day sale and they said they wouldn’t, but immediately gave me a code for 25% off anyway.

    • Anon

      I’d get something FUN and fashion-y

      An impractical, overpriced dress from Doen or Christy Dawn

      Staud Tommy bag

      Leoffler Randall Leonie ballet flats

    • Same

      I’d add all of it to my Starbucks card and start buying my coffee more frequently. Buying my coffee is an indulgence for me that I really enjoy, and getting to go so many times would be a gift that keeps giving for months and months. And while some people don’t like Starbucks’ coffee, I really do!

      • pink nails

        I was thinking a mid-tier watch until I read this, and this would absolutely be awesome for me too.

  16. Anon

    Advice for dealing with a sister who is just critical of every.single.thing? I think mom talked to her mainly and mom isn’t doing well. My sister never really talked to Dad, I guess, and she doesn’t seem to want to call and talk to him. So she expects me to talk to him daily (I do) and then call her. But I am just updating a share site with my notes so that we have all of mom’s info in one place (for Dad also, not just my sister, and so I don’t have to try to remember everything). I am not going to call her ever day because she is so damn mean. I went low-contact with her years ago and that was fine. I used to call her on a walk because at least I could also get a walk in while she ranted about this or that. I don’t have the emotional badwidth right now to be a punching bag. My cousins have largely cut off contact with her and no one is local to anyone else, but Mom may not last the summer and it seems like I am the one person everything is expected to flow through.

    • Anon

      Maybe not the best thing, and this comes in context of me spending my life being far too accommodating and kind: I have bluntly told people to eff themselves, and just let it hang there with no explanations. They know they are being mean; I know they are being mean; what the rather crass and abrupt sentence tells them is that I know they know they are being mean.

      A more muted version is “Excuse me??” And again, just let it hang there.

    • Anon

      With close family, I’ve done the “set a boundary and then enforce it” technique successfully. I don’t know if “being mean” is concrete enough, but if there’s name calling, or something more specific, “if you call me names, I’m hanging up the phone” is an okay thing to say and to do (just as an example). Even very unreasonable people can learn to knock it off when it loses them their audience.

    • Anon

      I am low contact with one of my sisters. She had a victim complex. We can spend a day together and have a perfectly wonderful time, but then a couple of days later it will become about how I wronged her that day. So I don’t spend days with her anymore. We send memes to each other on IG, she sends pics of my niblings, and I coo appropriately but leave it at that. “How are you” is a question I no longer ask.

    • Pippa

      Stick with the share site. It works for you, your Dad, your cousins, so of course it will work for your sister. Full stop.
      The freeing thing about mean people is that no matter what one does, no matter how much one puts oneself out, jumps through hoops, or walks on hot coals, It Will Never Be Correct or Enough. So make the choice that suits you best.
      And somewhere write down that what you are doing is making care decisions for your mom and dad. And what someone else is doing is making the decision to not help and to be mean about the carer. Refer to it as needed. Maybe consider giving yourself permission to focus more on mom, dad, and your grief.
      From an internet stranger who has lost her parents and whose sister was mean about my care choices and is still mean about whatever else takes her fancy.

  17. Linen Shirt Dress?

    I’m on the hunt for the perfect easy linen shirt dress to wear to my very casual office this summer – something not so fitted, more of a tunic or swing dress shape, knee length or a little longer, short sleeves (not sleeveless) and in a fun bold colour (red or green or goldenrod or teal, for example) or pattern. Oh and pockets. And machine washable.
    Suggestions?

  18. Risked Credit

    I delayed posting because of the previous two days of grey hair posts….. well I have grey hair I am wanting to cover up and I am fed up of the cost and time at the salon. I love my hairdresser but color and cut is 3+ hours and I just can’t sit in a chair that long. I would like to start coloring my hair at home again. I have no idea where to start. I have very dark hair that is red very easily. Can anyone recommend a good hair dye?

    I used to use Perfect 10 by Nice-n-easy but the product has been discontinued. I don’t see anything similar. I loved that stuff. It covered all my grey’s, took 10mins and I never had any red show up. My hair never got dry from it either.

    • anon today

      I have the best success with Madison Reed. I am still experimenting with whether I should add a gloss to help extend the color, and it is not as multidimensional as when I go to the salon but it covers all my grey and is easy to use.

      • Anon

        +1 to Madison Reed. I no longer cover my grays, but when I did it worked well. I had to go for the “for stubborn grays” level of processing because I guess everything about me is stubborn, including my hair.

    • Anon

      Clairol Natural Instincts.
      Henna (comes in black and brown, not just red).

      I prefer semi-permanent dyes because the line between my dyed hair and new hair blends nicely. Henna is messy but looks fantastic over grey hair.

      • Risked Credit

        I didn’t think of henna. That would be a great solution except I am not in New Jersey anymore so don’t know where to buy! Where do you buy henna from? Are there any brands that are better than others? I am in Dallas in an area best described as pale and stale.

        • Anon

          Lush.

          I run it through a food processor to chop it up, then put it into an empty shampoo bottle, add hot water, and dispense into my hair that way. Congrats to all you people who can do the thing with a big mixing bowl and a spoon; that makes a giant mess for me.

        • ABanon

          I’ve used Logona brand henna from my local hippie store and liked the results.

    • Anon

      This may not solve your problem, but I intentionally schedule haircuts and color appointments separately. I have too much hair to sit there for over three hours. I’d rather deal with an extra appointment than spend a whole afternoon in the chair. Haircut is at a cheaper place than the color salon.

      • Risked Credit

        I just moved to separate appointments and have my color appointment next week. I am just exhausted by the time it takes and would prefer to be at home waiting for it to cure than at a salon. When I dyed my hair at home I did my roots every 4 weeks alternating t zone and full. I have more grey at the front now and would like to go back to doing my roots more often but I just can’t spend so much time at the salon.

        • Anonymous

          YMMV but for me getting my roots done at the salon before my haircut is actually much more efficient in terms of time than separate appointments or doing them myself.

    • Anonymous

      Madison Reed is by far the best home hair color. Apply with the bowl and brush (sold separately). I found the colors to skew darker than described and had the best results with “light” brown on my medium brown hair.

      • Anon

        I endorse Madison Reed too, and agree on the color as I also ended up going a shade lighter over time, but I like the squirt bottle application, personally! I even bought the bowl and brush but somehow the squirt bottle was easier for me. Especially when it was a refresh focused on the roots.

    • Anon

      I’ve had decent results using Joico color infuse conditioner. You can get it on the river site or other beauty sellers. I use the red on my brown hair. It does not fully cover grays but does make them less noticeable and gives my brown hair a nice “boost” generally — not finding a great way of describing this. It doesn’t stain anything — I’ve gotten it on my cloth shower curtain and it washes out with water.

  19. Anon from MD

    Similar question. I’m looking for a summer a’going out shirt” to concerts, dinners etc. I’m an XS and in my mid-50s and don’t want anything that requires a special bra or that is super tight (despite being an XS, I have a menopause pooch). Suggestions? Thanks very much

  20. Anonymous

    I clicked “Insert Symbol” in Excel and got a panel of emoji instead of math symbols. I just cannot with Microsoft anymore. They keep removing functionality from MS Office and now this?

    • Risked Credit

      Under the symbols tab, there are two drop downs. The first, ‘font’, needs to be (normal text) and the second, ‘subset’ needs to be ‘Number forms’ in the drop down. If that doesn’t give you what you need the drop down options of ‘Superscripts and Subscripts’ or ‘Mathematical Operators’ should cover it.

  21. Anon

    Looking for career advice. I’m a mid-level manager in real estate services and I’m feeling stuck. I’d like to keep growing in my career but I keep being offered roles that are parallel to what I am already doing. I am recognized for being good at my job, but I don’t have a lot of opportunities to touch the next level at my current org. I have done the “next level” at my prior org but had to leave when a toxic boss came in. Do I take a lateral move and hope it will give me better opportunities? Go back to school for something? When I look at the education and experience of directors above me the only obvious difference is that I’m in my 40s and they are in their 60s and 70s (and mostly men). I have a decent relationship with a few of them and the advice is to just keep working hard and keep speaking up. It’s not working, and frankly feels like a bit of a brush off since they then tell me they’ll recommend me for X role which upon examination is a lateral move. What am I missing? Thanks!

  22. NaoNao

    I’m the OP that unintentionally started a firestorm the other day around gray hair “should I?” For those that might not have caught my apology same-day, I wanted to own up to my insensitive words and apologize for any hurt feelings that they caused, I really messed up there and will be more careful in the future.

    But a couple people did ask for me to check back in post-process so I am. It took 7 hours and it was $1600 including a generous tip. Honestly…it was worth every penny. I was about 30% gray/white with warm toned medium brown dye on the bottom 2/3. She created two “money pieces” of pure white in the front, cooled down the under-layer to a sterling/slate gray and put a full head of white (platinum basically with gray toner) over the top layers to blend the demarcation line. It’s not “fried” as I had a lot of white (almost half a head) and even with a full head of highlights, she wasn’t like…gooping on bleach in big chunks.

    I was worried that it would age me and I’d look frumpy/dowdy. I think that’s what I was very clumsily trying to convey before (and could absolutely have done better!) which was that when I looked around at my contemporaries who’d gone natural gray, I wasn’t inspired and it didn’t feel like a fashionable, chic, stylish direction based on what I was seeing on “real women” not celebs or models. I struggled to find women my age, in my general socio-economic bracket, and with a similar “normal person” vibe that looked elegant, up to date, stylish, etc, whatever word you want to use. I really should have focused more on me rather than them, point well taken and thanks to those that called it out.

    Anyway, if you’re considering going gray/white, it’s worth the money, IMHO. There’s a lot of skepticism that what seems like a “dye job” is going to do anything but it’s dramatic, like I look like a different person, dramatic. My colorist specialized in gray transformations/journeys and that’s what I recommend if you want that “just get it done in one” and you’re struggling like I was.

    Thanks to those that saw through my giant foot in mouth and were supportive and also thanks to those that pointed out where I could have done better expressing myself. :)

    • Anon

      I watched all this from the sidelines but I appreciated all points of view and really appreciate you coming back to share the results as well as acknowledge the troubled messaging. Thank you!

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