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Thursday’s TPS Report: A-Line Jersey Wrap Dress

Lirola A-Line Jersey Wrap Dress | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. There is a long-sleeved version of this dress, too, but for some reason I'm liking the 3/4-sleeve one better. It's machine washable, available in 18 colors, and the seller will work with you to customize the fit. It's $99 at Etsy. Lirola A-Line Jersey Wrap Dress Here are two plus-size options (one, two). Seen a great piece youd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-5)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

194 Comments

  1. This is beautiful. It makes me want to break my shopping ban. Someone convince me not to.

    1. I always have problems with wrap dresses. They never quite seem to stay put and risk accidental flashing. This dress would totally be more hassle than it’s worth ;)

    2. I wouldn’t call these 3/4 sleeves but I love that you are recommending something from Etsy.

    3. i want 5 million of this dress… i am on the A-Team but pear on the bottom, so A-line wrap dresses are my one true love.

    5. Thank you so much everyone. This is my dress and I couldn’t help but notice traffic from this great site.
      I’m really flattered and would like to offer anyone here a 10% discount for non sale items, which applies to this dress.
      It is made from superior material and it is really flattering.
      Coupon code is CORPORETTE10
      Best
      Liron :)

      1. Liron–I bought one of your dresses years ago and absolutely loved it. Since I’ve lost my baby weight, I’m in the market for a new one. Thanks for the discount code…I hope everyone takes advantage!

    1. Yes, I like this and both plus-size options that reflect the style of the original choice very well.

    2. It’s so much more useful to see clothes on people with non-model dimensions. I swear that’s one of my favorite things about RTR.

      I also love the dress and am definitely saving this for the next time I need a new wrap. Also, for ladies looking for dresses with sleeves: I poked around in the rest of her Etsy shop and SLEEVES EVERYWHERE.

  3. I was raised with the rule: tip your hairstylist 15%, BUT tip the stylist nothing if s/he owns the salon. I believe the rationale was that the bulk of what you paid for your service was retained by the salon owner, who paid a small portion of it to the employee stylist.

    The salon I go to now works on a station rental basis: each stylist pays a flat monthly fee to the owner to rent his station and collects his payment himself using Square.

    Questions:

    1. Is the rule different now that the business model is different?
    2. What is the rule now?
    3. Is it still 15%?
    4. How much to give the shampoo person?

    If it matters, I am in a fancy suburb in a “liberal elite” coastal area.

    1. I was raised with that rule too but have been told that it no longer applies. I asked the receptionist at my previous salon and she said that it is standard to tip the salon owner. I also do 20% personally and $5 to the shampoo person.

    2. I always tip at least 20%. I usually don’t give the shampoo person anything though since I never have a pocket and can never see them around when I am leaving.

    3. Doesn’t change the rule for me. I wouldn’t tip the owner, would tip anyone else 15-20%, and give the shampoo person about $5, on a haircut that’s around $70.

    4. I always tip 20% but having a great relationship with my hair guy is really important to me. And I generally believe in tipping and probably tip more often than the average person so ymmv.

    5. I got a referral to home based stylist, my thought is no tip since owner, no overhead, etc. But it seems strange, particularly since her prices already reflect the lower costs

      1. I am interested in thoughts on this, too. I see a home-based stylist and I tip around 10-15%. I always pay the whole amount in cash, even though she takes checks.

    6. My stylist shampoos, cuts and styles my hair. It costs $32 and I give her $40. It’s a small salon, but I’m not sure who the owner is or if he or she is even on the premises while I’m there.

      1. Wow. If you don’t mind me asking, where do you live where a shampoo/cut/style is $32?! I feel ripped off.

        I tip roughly 18-20% on the cost pre-tax.

        1. Not Sparrow, but I used to pay $35 for a cut with shampoo, blow dry and style in Omaha. But I kind of got what I paid for–it was not a particularly attractive cut, and I could style it better than she did. I now live in a bigger city and pay $60. My stylist spends twice as long on the appointment, and I get a full salon blowout, so I consider it worth it.

          (Tbc, not saying at all that Sparrow’s cut is lacking, but just that this was my own personal experience and that Anon shouldn’t necessarily feel like she’s getting ripped off. Depending on your hair and preferences, it may be worth it!)

        2. I pay $35 for shampoo, cut and blow-out in a medium-sized city in the Midwest. I like my stylist and think he does a great job; he’s at a mid-range salon (not a chain but not the highest end salon/spa). I usually tip him 20%.

        3. I live in a very expensive area of California – you can definitely get a $200 haircut here if you want, but I pay around $30 for a place at the mall.

        4. I’m in the Midwest. It’s a small-medium sized city, and the salon is a local place in town. I would have never thought to try the place on my own, but a friend referred me and I’ve been going for about 8 years. I really lucked out, because my stylist is great. It’s the longest I’ve stayed with one person.

    7. I tip 20%. I go to the typical salon model now, but in my old city I saw someone who rented a bay in one of those spa-suite type buildings, and I still tipped. I don’t really get the logic of not tipping her in that situation–she was a single mother trying to strike out on her own, and she charged way less than what her old salon charged for her because she wanted to lure as many customers as she could to support herself. It’s been a few years so I don’t remember the %, but I think I tipped up to what I would’ve paid if she was at the salon.

      At my current place, it’s usually my colorist or stylist who shampoos. They’ll pull in an assistant if they’re slammed, but I’m already in the sink-chair with my eyes closed at that point and don’t even really see the person or get a name, or have anything on me to tip. I would hope that in this situation where the shampooer is helping out the colorists and stylists, they get tipped-out similar to buspersons.

    8. I tip 18-20% no matter what (and often more because I tend to round up to the nearest $5). Having been on the other side of tipping for quite a while earlier in my life, I can tell you that anything less than that on a regular basis and your stylist probably does not look forward to your appointments.

    9. I tipped the Salon Loft person 20% even though I knew it was her business. I noticed also when I tipped in cash it was a little cheaper the next time. I don’t go there anymore though because she also used the cheapest dye and products. :-/

  4. I bought a dress yesterday that is almost perfect except that my hips are a fraction too wide and the dress creeps up a little around them if I am not careful. Is this something Spanx would help with? Or is there another way to keep it from riding up? I would hate to be having to fix it all of the time (but I will if I have to!).

    2. Probably any slip that’s on the slippery side will help. Spanx would be effective, but only if the Spanx itself is slippery, or with a slippery slip on top of the Spanx.

    3. It’s too small. Lose weight, wear Spanx, or return it for a larger size and take it in as needed.

      1. Meh, it literally fits everywhere else perfectly and has sleeves so getting a larger size means everything else has to be altered (which would cost more than the dress itself). Losing weight isn’t a bad option but I need it for Monday so I probably won’t get too far. Recs on spanx or a slip to try? I almost never wear dresses so this is all pretty foreign to me, I don’t own a single slip or any shapewear.

        1. Try the slimcognito that comes down mid thigh and has a high waist – it makes things fit more loosely around the hips for me.

    1. Agree – it would be too much on a person with a large chest, and would emphasize smallness on a person with a small chest. (I have learned that bustline ruching just highlights my AA-size top).

      1. Was about to say the same thing – on a busty woman, this dress would scream LOOK AT MY BOOBS. I think it would actually look good on a small-chested person, though. I think most DVF dresses are modeled by smaller chested women.

        1. I hear you on this, but I’ve found that everything–turtlenecks, V-necks, wraps, whatever–screams LOOK AT MY BOOBS…because they are huge (34HH). At a certain point, I have to stop caring and just get dressed with what I want to wear.

          1. Yeah, I’m a 36 E/F, so it’s not quite as bad, but I get what you mean. I do think that strips of fabric outlining the boobs is a little much, and draws unnecessary attention to it. It’s the same effect as wearing a heavy messenger bag across your chest between your boobs. I think the plus-size options featured are much better for not outlining boobs!

            For wraps, I’m really happy with my Karen Kane wrap dress – it’s a high neck, with just the right amount of fabric in the right place with a great pattern that from the front, at least, it really minimizes my chest. I’m actually wearing it today!

      2. As a fellow AA, what type of woven shirts fit well and are work-appropriate? I wear a ton of sweaters to avoid the issue of ill-fitting woven shirts.

        1. I don’t wear a lot of woven shirts, but the ones I have that fit well are cotton/spandex from Banana Republic.

      3. I don’t know – I don’t think it would be any worse than the Karen Kane wraps or the Issa dress from Banana Republic (I own versions of both). In fact, it looks like the v might be a little higher on this one. For what it’s worth, I’m a 34G and any dress makes me look like Joan. I dress business-appropriate for work, but it’s like trying to disguise being very tall or very short – there’s only so much that can be done to mitigate one’s body.

  6. I’m looking for a yellow gold ring that doesn’t have stones but is a bit more interesting than just a plan band/ kind of unusual. I would wear the ring by itself and have small hands, so nothing too overwhelming. I’ve been looking on Etsy, but are there other similar places I should look that would sell such things?

    1. If you’re open to some stones, Nordstrom has a TON. If you select fine jewelry, the Bony Levy brand has a number of really interesting gold bands.

    3. We got our bands from seababe jewelry. They are hammered white gold. The owners were super responsive and lovely to work with.

      1. There’s also a shop called Fiat Luxe that has a similar vibe to Clay Pot and Catbird.

    5. Try Gemvara? You can customize the metal you want, and I believe some designs are metal only. I haven’t bought anything from them yet, but am contemplating a birthday gift for myself from there.

      1. Personally, I am not a huge fan of this one, but to each his own. I like the one Sydney Bristow linked to above. I think this one looks a little too hippie or Middle Earth for my tastes.

      2. Just the pointy one? I think it’s cute and really like it. It might be a little trendy, but the overall style is understated so I think it would still be a good choice.

        1. How do I know if something is trendy? I can identify things that obviously aren’t, but i’m not great with fashion/style in general, so this isn’t really obvious to me.

          1. For this ring specifically, it’s the fact that I never saw rings like this (with such an exaggerated point and not in combination with a ring with a big stone) a couple years ago. That ring shape has been especially popular recently and virtually nonexistent in years past. It seems like gold is especially trendy now too. That being said, I wouldn’t worry too much about it if you really like it.

          2. I would just jump in here to say that I don’t consider yellow gold to be trendy. It’s been around for years and while it trades off with “silver” (usually white gold or platinum), many people have a preference for yellow or white gold and stick with it throughout the ebbs and flows. Conversely, I *would* classify rose gold as trendy.

            Another thought on this matter is that I’ve read in a number of places that whether your wedding band is yellow or white gold shouldn’t matter much when matching to the rest of your jewelry. I personally wanted yellow gold and pick it for all my jewelry, but I don’t think it would be a faux pas to have a yellow gold wedding band and mix with white gold as its popularity waxes and wanes.

      3. I really like it. I have a pointy ring like that as my wedding band except mine has very small diamond and sapphires in it. We picked the pointy style because completely plain bands didn’t fit with my marquise cut engagement ring, even though the stone in the engagement ring is small. I like that it looks good both as a set with my engagement ring and when I wear it on it own – sometimes I do work where I have to wear only the flat band so it won’t catch on anything.

        Pretty choice, I like it!

    8. Check out Reinstein & Ross jewelers. They offer several different beautiful alloys (18-22K), and interesting patterned rings w/o stones. They have one or more stores in NYC, and a website.

      1. Thanks! I actually found one that I think might unseat my current first choice :)

    1. This is just AMAZING! So far the unicorn enthusiast is my favourite but I’m only on page one…

    8. OMG. I laughed so hard there were tears running down my face. Thank you for this.

  8. Joint finance question. my boyfriend and I moved in together in August and now share most of our expenses. we plan to get engaged this year. he makes slightly more than I do, but has significantly more savings, so he pays $100 more each month in rent. we split groceries 40/60 because he eats way more than me, but otherwise we split everything 50/50. Almost everything is a shared expense, since we do so much together. Right now our system is just a lot of mental IOUs. Occasionally we write each other checks but usually it’s more “you paid for that so I’ll pay for this.” It’s kind of a pain, so we’re looking to get a shared account.

    Should we:
    -get a joint checking, both put $ into it each month (the issue here is how much $)
    -get a joint credit card, and split the bill 50/50 each month (would get rewards, wouldn’t have to figure out a monthly sum)
    -something else?

    Neither of us have debt, both have good credit scores, in case that impacts.

    1. I’d do joint checking, you each have a debit card with access to it, and you put into it each month your share of the rent, joint bills, estimates of fluctuating expenses. But I’d first make an independent budget for yourself and make sure you’re keeping your own savings and retirement going strong. Don’t just plough everything into joint expenses if what you really need to be doing is saying- oh, our groceries were $700 last month, let’s get that under control.

    2. My boyfriend and I had a similar problem when we moved in together and it was becoming unfair to switch back forth on who picked up the tab so we got a “joint” credit card. The card is in my name but he is an authorized user and we have a checking account (again I’m the primary holder) that is connected to it (capital one). Each month we print out the statement to make sure we are in agreement and then we either split 50/50 or I pick up a little more because I make more. We transfer the money to the account and pay the bill. In my opinion, it has been a life saver. I was picking up way more of the expenses than I should have been because it was hard to keep track with some on his card and some on mine. I highly recommend it.

      Our rent can only be paid from a checking account so we handle that separately FWIW (split 60/40ish)

      Edited to add that we opened a Capital One Venture card and have over 50,000 miles to use on a vacation so something else to think about on credit v. debit/checking

    3. We were in your boat – no debt, good credit scores/spending behaviors, except I made more than double with my now husband does.

      Immediately after getting engaged we formally combined all checking accounts and established our money system which is still in place today – we have one master checking account into which paychecks are deposited and bills are paid out of. From there we each get a monthly allowance for our own non-joint spending (clothes, his electronics/toys, etc., drinks if I go out with my girlfriends, etc.). In retrospect, I wish we combined sooner, when engagement was imminent – it would have made things easier.

      I’m of the mindset that if you’re getting married/are married, everything should be combined regardless of income levels. I know from past threads not everyone here agrees with that, but it’s worked out very well for us and removes the potential awkwardness associated with one making more/less, and has made us operate as a unit.

      1. I agree. I also did this, though we did it a bit prior to getting engaged (though it was in the works). It was so much easier and really helped set us up to get on a good financial path before the hell that is wedding planning hit. It takes a bit of time to get used, so it’s nice to not do it all at once.

        The only thing I’d add is we each have our monthly allowances go into completely separate individual checking accounts to avoid any ‘surprises’ being ruined.

    4. I moved in with my boyfriend in July and we have a google doc spreadsheet set up to balance expenses. It’s a little nerdy but it works! We have a tab for each month and then we each have a column. The formulas add everything up (you could easily put in a percentage of what you’re each responsible for), divides it by 2, then subtracts or adds from our respective sums to see who owes what at the end of the month. Every time I go grocery shopping or he pays a bill, it goes on the sheet and at the end of the month one of us will write a check to the other to set the balance to 0.

      1. This is what we do. Because he makes 2x what I do, all the regular expenses are divided proportionally To our incomes. Socialism! We also have a section for non-socialized expenses like concert tickets that we split equally. What lands in that section is somewhat arbitrary. That allows some flexibility so it’s not pure 50/50 and not pure 66/33.

    5. DH and I have a similar system with the exception of major investments like property that can’t be split. We have one joint checking account and each deposit the same amount (we also make the same amount) an pay everything out of there. We don’t have a joint credit card, but we try to keep purchases even so we each get similar rewards. I would be totally comfortable getting a credit card with him, but I just don’t need another one so there was no need. Wrt credit card expenses, one of us transfers money to the other every 2 weeks if there’s an imbalance. We also have excellent credit, I have no debt and he has a lot in student loans.

      I think this really depends on how separate/together you want your finances to be. I know this might be a bit controversial, but I’d err on the separate side until you’re legally married.

    6. We had separate checking accounts for almost 1o years after getting married, and then our marriage counselor told us to really, really combine them, not just in names but also in access. I guess it helps. We still like each other.

    7. We use the joint account system and pay for all our joint expenses from the account. Even though DH eats more, I think I make up for it with shampoo, etc. Since I make more, I just add more to the account. We both have the money automatically deposited into the account on a set day each week so the account is always funded.

    8. FWIW, when now-DH and I moved in together, we got one joint account and put all our paychecks into it. We paid our credit card bills (he had one, I had one) and all utility bills, rent, etc., from the joint account. At the time I made about 30% more than he did and he had student loans, I did not, but he had more savings.
      Then we bought a house together in joint name.
      Then we got a joint credit card and/or put each other on our separate credit cards.
      Now EVERYTHING is joint except for retirement accounts that have to be in one person’s name only.

      Our philosophy is basically “everything is ours”, and we combined most everything when we moved in together. We got married about 2 years after we moved in together, but always both knew that was where we were headed.

    9. I’ve been struggling with the same thing so I really don’t have much advice. Not to jack your thread, but did it matter to folks if one partner was moving into the other partner’s home (so all bills are already set up to direct pay out of that partner’s account)? What if that partner is the homeowner? Is it reasonable to expect your live-in partner to split all bills, including the mortgage, if you’re not married?

      1. I’m not in this situation since we bought our house together (well before we got married, *gasp!*) but I do not think it’s okay for you to split half the mortgage. You’re paying the same amount, but he’s building equity and you’re not. You’re basically giving him money to save solely in his name.

        But obviously you should contribute since you’re living there, so I’m not sure what the answer is.

      2. What would the rent be if you were renting the house instead of paying the mortgage?

        1. Rent would be more than the mortgage.

          ETA: FWIW, I own the house that he moved into. He owns his house and plans to rent it out.

          1. So – he’s renting his house at a profit, and building his own equity in that, and the question is it he should also get a discount to live in your house?

          2. Right. If he’s suggesting this plan he’s a total moocher. How about he gives you half the rent he receives?

          3. My fiancé and I both own property (each in our own names) and we live in one of the apartments I own. Our arrangement: we agreed on what market value rent would be for our apartment and he gives me half that every month. I pay the mortgage on my property and all repair and improvement expenses associated with it and collect/keep rent from my other tenants. He collects/keeps rent from his tenants, pays the mortgage on his property and all repair and improvement expenses associated with it.

            As to the original poster’s questions about joint finance, my fiance and I have lived together 4 years and we have a shared checking, shared savings, and shared credit card (which we pay off in full every month). We put a set amount into our checking and savings accounts. We pay all joint expenses (utilities, groceries, going out expenses, travel, etc.) out of joint accounts. The money in checking usually covers the full monthly credit card bill, but when it doesn’t we each chip in 50% of the deficiency.

            We pay for discretionary and other personal expenses out of separate accounts, which includes items that may not really be discretionary, like cars and transportation expenses, but we each make choices about what kind of car to buy and how to balance driving and gas and parking expenses against the inconvenience/lower expense of public transportation, so I like that I make decisions for me and he makes decisions for him, and that those expenses come out of our separate accounts.

            Our system works for us because we have similar salaries, so it’s easy to do 50/50 on shared expenses and then we both have approximately the same amounts left in our personal accounts. We also don’t have kids; I couldn’t imagine our system working well if we were parenting together, but since that’s not an issue for us, we can be a bit more independent in our finances. We’re also both very comfortable and happy with this system. If one of us wanted to have fully joined accounts, I don’t think our system of partly shared and partly independent finances would work. Thankfully, we both agree.

      3. No that’s not reasonable at all. You’re giving them equity. Your half of the “rent” gets you a place to live, theirs does that plus builds a valuable asset. I’d look at it in terms of the rent the moving in person was paying, what the house is like, and what is reasonable to afford. Maybe 30% of the mortgage?

        1. That was my response until this thread’s OP posted that her partner owns his own house and is renting it out at a profit.

      4. I’ll be similarly situated in a few months. I’ll own the home, the mortgage will be in my name. His half of the mortgage is less than his rent was in a separate place. I guess I don’t see any problem with splitting the mortgage payment every month.

        For what it’s worth, I’m buying the house in my own name for now, but we both expect this is heading toward engagement and marriage. Assuming it gets that far, the house will be our house.

        1. Does anyone’s answer change if we’re just talking about roommates? I’m about to move in with a friend and she hasn’t decided yet if she will try to purchase a place or if we’ll just rent together. If she does buy, should I be offering to pay 30% of the mortgage? 40%? Does it matter if even paying 50% would be in line with the rent price we’d discussed? E.g., if I’d be paying $1500 either way, is it worth bringing up?

          1. You should be paying whatever the market rate is for a similar place. Keep in mind that she will be responsible for any repairs to the place.

          2. Yes, it definitely changes things. Unless you and your friend have decided to be platonic life-partners, any discount she gives you on the rent is friendship. Same with utilities. That said, any home improvements or repairs are her responsibility. You should probably be willing to pitch in on work (ie helping her paint), but the costs of anything a landlord would cover (lawn maintenance, plumbing repairs, new light fixtures) are hers, since she’s getting equity off the improvements, and you’re not getting squat.

    10. when my husband and I first moved in together we were not yet engaged. We got a joint savings account that we both contributed a certain amount to every month (not equal amounts). After a while, we also got a joint credit card. We paid the bill out of the joint account.

      This worked really well for us.

    11. Joint checking that links to your accounts so you can make transfers easily. My husband and contribute the same % of our income to cover joint expenses. Using a % covers the “fairness” factor if one makes more. You could also adjust a flat dollar amount from there if you want, e.g., to make up for the fact that it cost more to feed him.

      1. +1. This is what my husband and I have done since we moved in together pre- getting engaged or married (10 years ago this week — yikes!) and it has worked well, both before and after getting married and with various fluctuations in our incomes.

    1. It depends on your ultimate career goal. I did one for three months and it opened my eyes to the good and the bad parts of working in house. I didn’t plan on going on in house (I was very happy at my firm, actually), but when I got a call several months after my secondment for a potential position in-house, I felt like I knew what questions to ask, what to look for, and what issues might arise that I would not have known if I had not seconded.

        1. Sure. I was seconded in an extremely dysfunctional legal department. So, I had an AGC that was a complete micro-manager, the position had no clear expectations or job duties, there was no good communication from the AGC to me regarding what they wanted me to do, the AGC also procrastinated and was one of those people that is always frantic – so as soon as I would receive an email from her about an issue, it was an emergency.

          I quickly learned that an in-house position is only as good as the GC and/or your supervisor. I also learned that I didn’t really want to ultimately be a GC of a publicly traded company, because I simply don’t have the background or the desire to learn so much about securities, stocks, etc. I felt a lot more responsibility working for a large, publicly traded company than I do now working for a private company (rightly or wrongly).

          The pros were that I really do work less hours, I don’t have the nagging feeling that I need to “bill” every hour that I’m not working (this is priceless for me and my mental sanity), and much more reasonable expectations on project timelines.

          1. I’ve worked in house in both public and private companies and definitely prefer private. The end of quarter pressure at the public company was intense. It also varies based on if you’re on the buy (customer/procurement) or sell (vendor) side. I personally prefer the buy side, especially in my current role, though in some companies lawyers on the sell side are more valued because they are seen as revenue generators as opposed to just costs.

            You should also try to discern what the business/the rest of the companies thinks of lawyers in your role or in the company as a whole. Are they trusted business advisers or the “stop work center?” The business’ perception of you can make your job a lot easier/more effective or a lot more difficult.

    2. If your firm is asking you to take one, carefully consider the message from your firm. It can be a way to encourage associates to exit, either because of “meh” performance (the poorly regarded associates usually aren’t sent because the firm doesn’t want to be embarrassed) or because your class is overpopulated.

      If you want to go in-house, it’s a great way to either do so at the secondment location or to get experience for future interviews. For returning to your firm, it’s also a great way to get a nice solid 40 hours a week of billables.

      1. I think there have been debates about this in past threads, but the “message” is so, so dependent on your firm. My firm usually asks someone to do a secondment when it wants to do a “favor” for the client in question so that we in return get more business. Therefore, only really high-performing associates tend to get asked to do a secondment. I’d try to ask around to see who has done one in the past – it might tell you a lot if everyone who did one is now gone, or if everyone who did one is now a high-performing associate or partner.

    3. Secondments are common in my practice group, and the experience varies widely. (Note that this is all based on legal secondments — outside of law firms, it might be different)

      I think it’s extremely valuable for getting a look at what in-house life is like, and it gave me an appreciation for the dynamics of large financial institutions and how to better work effectively with my clients. It also made me more proactive and a better lawyer when I came back to the firm, because it gave me a taste of what it was like to really BE the lawyer in a group of non-lawyers and not just someone who has to get partner clearance on everything. I’ve seen this happen with other mid-level lawyers, too.

      I, too, was a little worried about the message the firm was sending when it sent me. It would never send someone who an important partner viewed as “critical.” But they also won’t send someone who is going to be a disaster.

      The secondments that go well seem to be those that build on your existing knowledge and skills — maybe even a continuation of a project you did at the firm. That way you get substantive work from day 1. The ones that don’t tend to be at institutions where the legal department is not valued, and/or you are working on something that is not very intellectually stimulating, like negotiating the same form agreement over and over again. The first thing you may not know in advance, but it’s a useful lesson in dysfunction anyway. The second thing you can maybe figure out in advance.

      However, there’s not usually a “good” way to say thanks but no thanks to a secondment, at least from what I’ve seen. The only way out seems to be to have another partner go to bat for you and say that they can’t spare you…But even if it’s an annoying/non-productive six months or so, it can be a great opportunity to remember what work-life balance is like, discover what you want to avoid in the future, and make some connections.

    4. 1) Secondment helped me realize that I did *not* want to be an in-house lawyer.

      2) Know your office regarding whether a secondment offer is a way of letting you know that you’re not seen as a high performer. This varies significantly from firm to firm. My old firm only sent high performers on secondment; my current firm sends people that we’d otherwise probably fire.

  11. I’m headed to London and then Edinburgh two weeks in late July/early August for a leisure trip. I’ve looked at the average temps and it seems like the weather then will be like spring where I live (Georgia). What are some key pieces to pack? (aka – is this my excuse to buy the entire Boden catalog?!) What kind of shoes and coat are best for that time of year? Days will be spent walking around each city and then going to Proms concerts and Fringe events in the evenings. Thanks!

    1. Check out Lisa’s blog (amidprivilege dot com) – she was there last year around that time with her 20 something daughter and had good packing thoughts.

    2. I went that time of year a couple of years ago and needed a light cardigan on some days and just a very light jacket at night. I think I just wore jeans and a pair of casual sneakers (so not running shoes, but more support than say, converse or something). Just make sure you build in enough time to not be walking. I was determined to see as much as possible in a limited time and, while I hit about as many major tourist sites in London as possible in three days, my legs/feet were so sore from all the walking that I felt like I couldn’t move by the time we got to Edinburgh.

    3. I would wait until immediately before to pack, because we could be in a summer spell or just miserable weather. At that time of year, though, I love skinny jeans (it’s rarely too hot for them), a nice top, thin cardi, and a trench coat. If you’re into the sneakers as casual shoes thing, then wear them – you’ll be walking a ton, I imagine. The aforementioned outfit would be fine for Fringe events but a little casual for some Proms concerts (depending on the cost of your ticket) – I try to go no-denim for anything at the Royal Albert Hall!
      I’m going to link a post from my blog from summer 2013 to show you what I mean, I hope that’s okay? http://lilyactually.blogspot.de/2013/08/what-i-wore-today-summer-casual.html

      1. This. I came back from a November trip to London having walked 110,000 steps in 5 days and gotten stress fractures. Not fun. On the other hand, my foot pain encouraged us to learn to take the bus, which turned out to be really cool.

        1. London buses are great! You’ll need an Oyster card to use them though (order a Visitor Oyster before you come or just buy one when you get here)

          1. Oh this reminds me of my greatest London trick if you’re cheap like me. The National Rail has 2-for-1 discounts at a lot of the major tourist attractions with a national rail ticket. This includes the week passes for the Tube, but only if you buy them at a national rail ticket station, not a Tube ticket station (these two can be in the same station). What we did was buy a week pass (we were only there for 3 days, but it was still cheaper with the 2-for-1 deals) at the national rail station when we came in on the train from Heathrow. I think you needed a voucher to go with it, which you can print before you go from Days Out Guide London’s website. It’s the best deal ever.

    4. Jeans, shirts, a lightweight jacket, sneakers (reasonably stylish ones but you’ll likely do a ton of walking and Edinburgh certainly isn’t a fashion capital), a pair of comfy flats for fancier days in London (I’d do sneakers for Tower of London + St. Paul’s and a walking tour day and flats for shopping in Marylebone), a nice day dress in a jersey with a sweater to wear to tea/feeling fancy, and a good navy dress (because I love it) with some pretty jewelry and shoes I can walk in that have a bit of a heel for the proms.

      Absolutely buy everything in the Boden catalog if you want but you’ll be fine in the clothes you wear in Georgia in March and April for the most part.

    5. Londoner here, would pack cute sundresses, skinny jeans, tanks/tees and lightweight cardis, depending on what you want to do while you’re here. Check weather the week before and bring a light raincoat or jacket. It’ll be a great time of year in all likelihood and a great time to visit.

      Obv, fancier/clubbier clothes if you’re planning on fancy/clubby outings.

      1. What shoes would be appropriate for both sundresses and London walking?

        1. I would wear sandals if the weather is dry. Born makes sandals that are both cute and comfortable. I’m not trendy enough to pull most of these off, but I’ve also seen people wear sneakers (sleeker styles or Ked style), ballet flat, loafers or oxfords. Google “Alexa Chung style” for examples.

        2. In the summer, on weekends, I generally wear a cute, bright Keds-esque flat or a low-heeled ankle boot, depending on the look I’m going for and if I’m going somewhere where a nicer, leather shoe is more appropriate. I generally pop on a pair of Jockey skimmies underneath sundresses to avoid unfortunate Tube-incidents, too.

    6. Had a similar trip last year in August. I’m also from Georgia. I took cotton sweaters and a rain coat, had to buy a thicker coat. It rained the entire time we were there, waterproof shoes are necessary.

  12. Had to share: after weeks of back-breaking work, I have cleared ALL of the clutter out of the basement. It felt so good to get through that last box last night.

    1. Good work! Did you read the Magical Tidying book, or just do it with elbow grease and dedication?

      1. Just dedication. It helped that I had already set dates for donation pickup and painters.

      2. I definitely had to restrain myself from asking if you read Tidying – I am the biggest evangelist of that book now, it’s gross.

        1. I started reading it last week and did my “tops” over the weekend. It turned out I own 16 Brooks Brothers no-iron button down shirts, but you know what, they sparked joy, so I kept them all. Bunches of old and unhappy shirts are gone, though. Can someone explain the chapter on socks to me, though? I’m afraid of the effort it will take to make my socks happy.

          3. Looking at my carefully folded socks makes me much happier than when they were rolled together at the top. I never would have guessed that it would actually spark joy every time I grab a pair of socks.

        2. I heard of the book after I started the project. I’m still tempted to read it before tackling other areas of the house.

        3. I have read it last week and I am currently decluttering.
          I did a whole ceremony for my beat up bags, and shoes and notebooks “who” served me so well.

  13. Has anyone taken the MPRE as a licensed attorney? I’m admitted in a state that didn’t require it, as is my husband, and we’re thinking about moving. Can we get away with a month of study?

    1. I took it in law school, but I think you can get away with a month of study for sure, as long as you study the rules. You can’t pass it based on your moral instincts, you have to study the rules. You can get a free study guide from the bar prep companies.

    2. I think you can get away with a day of study. That’s what I did, anyway (along with the other attorneys in my office when we were expanding our practice into a neighboring state), and it was totally fine.

      1. I studied just the night before and passed with plenty of breathing room. The MPRE is NOT a big deal.

    3. Oh god yes. You could probably get away with a day of study, but I think a week is sufficient. Get the free study guide from Barbri and remember the answer is not the most ethical sounding one, it’s usually the second-most ethical sounding one. (I actually did worse on the MPRE the second time, after I’d been practicing a couple of years, but still passing with plenty of room to spare)

    4. My husband did, and I don’t think he studied really at all for it (really either time). The second time he took the MPRE, the state in question had a minimum score that was 20 points lower than the first state where he was licensed. And he had passed the first time with room to spare. I think he read through the book from BarBri the night before and that was about it.

    5. Yes, or less than that. I probably studied about 10 hours max for the thing, and I passed easily.

    6. Thanks everyone! We’ve been out of school a while (six years for me, 10 for him) and he’s never taken a bar, so he’s much more nervous about it than I am.

      1. If I were studying with a spouse, and we did not have kids, I’d make flash cards and quiz each other during normal activities (like at the grocery store). You can memorize the rules if you just use the spare time you already have.

      2. I did this and I found that some of the rules you’ll have to learn, but ultimately much of it is instinct which will be way easier as a practising attorney. If something sounds iffy, it probably is. It’s much easier to do this if you’re already admitted than as a law student but even so, it’s not hard.

      1. Yes, this. I watched the barbri video and then read an outline/book for maybe 2 hours. Passed well above any state’s required threshold.

    8. Oh wow a month would be serious overkill. You should be able to pass it with a score far in excess of what you need with just 3 hours of study.

    9. 3L here, most of my classmates study for the MPRE for about two days and pass comfortably. I’m taking in March.

    10. YES (are you in WA?). I only studied for a couple of days and passed by a significant margin.

    11. less than a month. I would say that you can probably study for a day or 2 and be completely fine.

    13. Just as a counterpoint: everyone told me the same thing, “oh just study for a day.” I studied for a day and failed (although I would have passed in most states; my state has a high passing requirement). and I did very well in law school and passed the bar on the first try.

  14. Does anyone have any good or bad experiences with removable wallpaper? Did it remove easily? I’m thinking of using it in my kid’s nursery, but we’re in a rental so I want to make sure that this is something that is manageable.

    1. I don’t have personal experience but I love the look of removable wall clings in kids room – so much so that I want them in my adult apartment too.

    2. I would also like to know!!! I was thisclose from using the starch glue method about a month ago.

    3. Even normal wallpaper is pretty removable w/ steam and some elbow grease, so I would be pretty confident in wallpaper marketed as removable.

    4. I’ve used it – nice quality but hard to put up, next time I’d hire someone with a little experience off task rabbit or a handyman.

    6. I used decals in my daughters room and they came off well. Think — a giant tree with leaves /flowers. So its almost like wallpaper, but only on one wall.

  15. How often do you wear (noticeable) lipstick? Do you have certain colors you do or do not wear for certain events? Hmmmm. I used to wear lipstick pretty much daily but then somehow stopped (just eye makeup for a while), but I feel really excited now that I have “rediscovered” my love for wearing lipstick on a daily basis. What say you guys?

      2. yep. The shape of my cupid’s bow makes my lips look strange with lipstick.

        I actually really like the natural shade of my lips, so I wear lip balm.

    2. I would like to wear it more often but it always feathers out/fades weird on my mouth. Probably something I should google.

    3. Every day! I’m grouping all types of lip products here though (gloss, lipstick, colored chapstick). It’s gotten to the point where I feel naked if I leave the house without something. Even for the gym I at least wear a tinted gloss (and no other makeup).

      I have a million lip items and they are everywhere – in jacket pockets, desk drawers, purses, backpacks… I’m a little surprised by the question because I thought many women were like this.

    4. I wear something with color every day but it’s usually tinted lip balm during the week and lipstick for weekends/nights out. I like the more muted effect of lip balm for work, because I don’t need a mirror to reapply and I can wear pretty much any color I want. I mostly stick to fuchsia and red. On weekends I wear the lipstick version of the same colors, so it’s a lot more saturated, along with the occasional coral.

    5. Wear noticeable lipstick only for dates. For the workday, I just stick to one of two tinted balms (one slightly darker than the other) that I keep in my desk drawer. I don’t have the patience to keep reapplying “real” lipstick throughout the day, needing to use a mirror, etc, I’ve tried the long wearing formulas but don’t like the drying effect on my lips.

    6. I put on noticeable lip color about 3 out of 7 days a week. I’m not religious about reapplying constantly, but I tend to wear colors/formulas that are less likely to be obviously faded. I LOVE the lip glosses by YSL for this. They kind of dry but still feel moist (sorry), and they won’t wear off just talking or drinking from a straw. They won’t last through a meal or a makeout session, but that’s ok with me.

    7. I wear lipstick or a highly pigmented gloss pretty much any time I am in public and not exercising. This is a recent thing. I have just found that at this point not wearing color on my lips makes me look washed out.

    8. I wear lipstick daily at work; just found Guerlain’s “grenade” color. Seems like a great neutral for my light olive skin and my friends who are pale love it as well. I also use Lip Chic by Chanticalle. The wild rose is great nearly nude for me and then violetta is more of a plum, which I love.

      I typically do not wear a full red lip to work until summertime – with bolder colors in clothing.

    9. I go through phases. I’m either in a bright color (Coral! Pink! Red!), a mlbb for meetings (MUFE #9), or nada.

    10. 6 out of 7 days. Usually I wear a mauve, but I’m on a fuchsia kick though I want to start wearing red.

    11. Rarely. I have an “everyday” color that’s not super-far off from my regular and makes me feel and look a lot more finished, but I usually only bother with it if I’ve got something going on (court, meeting a client, interview), which doesn’t happen a lot in my job. For more truly noticeable colors, probably once every couple of months – really nice dinner, wedding, something fancy. I love the idea of wearing it more often, but I’ve just never been good at keeping up with it.

  17. Currently on the 10 year standard repayment plan for my student loans. About to apply for my first mortgage and am thinking of switching to the 30 year payment plan just for purposes of making my debt to income ratio look better (and then switching back to my regular 10 year plan post-house purchase). Does this make sense? Haven’t been able to find much insight on this on the internet and thought someone on here might have encountered it. I definitely make enough to cover my student loans/future mortgage/car etc., I just think my $1800/month student loan payment probably looks scary…

    1. I qualified for my mortgage based on the longer repayment plan. But you will need to make sure that the lower repayment amount shows up on the credit check pulled by the bank in order for it to work in your favor.

      That said, if your credit score is good and your current debt to income ratio suffices to qualify you for the amount of financing that you want, I don’t know that there’s any real reason to switch repayment plans?

    2. As I recall, the line lenders use is that your total debt payments on everything (student loans, mortgage, car loans, credit card, anything else) should be no more than 36% of your income. If you’re not near that line, it won’t matter if your loan repayment figure is big or small.

    3. I think it’s not just about qualifying but getting additional breathing room when you have another mandatory payment you’re adding to your life.

      I was on 10 but went to 30 shortly before buying my first place. Back in 2009 when I added in short order: 1) husband, so marriage penalty and AMT, 2) baby (bills, day care, additional health insurace payment), 3) pay cut due to the recession, I was glad that I could made tiny minimum payments on my loans. My original plan was to have flexibility to switch jobs into something more interesting but that paid less without having to have a roommate.

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