Suit of the Week: Akris

139 Comments

1. Looking for a recommendation on a winter coat. I’m hoping to pick up a new, heavy-duty one during end of season sales. Particularly looking for very cold climates (Boston, Canada). If you love your brand, I’d love to hear it! Hoping for something under 400 if possible.

   1. Way under $400, but I’ve been really pleased with my Lands End knee length down coat. It’s certainly not the cutest, but it’s kept me warm for the past three winters and has held up quite well.

      1. Also love my LE coat, though I’m in DC so perhaps not warm enough for OP. I have the one with the tulip hem which is way cuter than others they sell — I’ve gotten tons of compliments!

      2. I am in Boston and have a LE down parka (“commuter”). It’s not the prettiest, but it is toasty! I am tall and with boots, there is only about 2″ of space between my boot and the coat hem.

   2. LL Bean Acadia Parka. Not pretty like a wool coat (some would say not work appropriate, but I wear it to and from by big law office), but oh so warm. LL Bean says it’s warm up to -55 degrees, and I totally believe that. Never been happier with a winter coat in my life! I think they’re around $300.

   3. Patagonia Tres

      1. Yep, Canadian here, I vote this one.

         I love my tres parka. Pricey, but worth it, and so versatile, I love that I can zip out the down and wear it in the spring when it’s rainy.

         It was -22C as I walked 30 minutes to work this morning. The only part of me that was cold was 3 inches below the bottom of my parka and above the top of my Joan of Arctic sorel boots. Take that winter.

         1. This sounds TERRIBLE. I was miserable walking to work in my 25 F (-3 C) weather today. I can’t even imagine -22C.

      2. +1, love this parka! I bought it on a 20% sale or so and it has been GREAT, totally waterproof.

   4. If you are looking for a stylish wool coat, as opposed to just a wool parka, I think Mackage coats are extremely warm and cozy.

      1. Why are these models so sad??? Why can’t they stand with their feet closer?

         I mean, some of them look downright angry!

         w w w dot mackage dot com/us/en/winter-sale-women

   5. Northface Arctic Parka warmest coat out there and water beads right off.

      1. I have this. its super warm

   6. I’m Canadian and love my LE Down Commuter Parka. I did not know warmth until I wore this coat, and I think it’s pretty good looking for parka.

      1. I have same one, commuter in Toronto, coldest winter I remember in years. Love love my coat

   7. Thanks for all the replies! These suggestions are so helpful and definitely help me narrow the choices.

2. Ladies, I have a question about serial monogamy. Several questions, actually. I don’t currently have anyone in my life who fits this description, but we all know those people – both men and women – who get into relatively serious, relatively long-term relationships (months to years long), and then after a breakup, are in another relatively serious, relatively long-term relationship within a couple months. As a single person who is not a serial monogamist, how does this work? Does the serial monogamist keep a list of potential “next candidates” at all times? Are they just less picky than the rest of us when it comes to partners? Are they themselves a “good catch” and therefore have their pick of options every time they are single? Do they do something in particular to meet a lot of new people all the time (online dating, mixers, going out to bars/clubs/happy hour very regularly)? Is it a personality type (maybe extroverts are more likely to be serial monogamists)?

   I should mention that I’m being completely nonjudgmental about serial monogamists. In fact, I envy them in many ways. I have long droughts between all of my relationships where I know no one and meet no one who I’d be interested in dating, let alone vice versa. Maybe I’m not a good catch? Maybe my standards are too high? Maybe I don’t get out enough?

   1. I don’t fall into this category, but thinking about friends who do, I think the common denominators are that they are all extroverts, and they are all super-into meeting new people and new potential partners. I don’t think they have lower standards, and they don’t seem to keep lists of “next candidates” – they just make a HUGE effort to be out and about and mingling.

      1. Yay! I agree with Anon on the extrovert peice, b/c good lookeing peeople who are extrovert’s have NO PROBELM findeing a new guy to date, and unless they make bad choices in men (like I do), often their releationship’s last for year’s, in my case b/c the guy never was abel to actually MARRY me b/c he perfered the bottel to me. FOOEY on men that promise us everything in order to get us to have sex with them, and we fall for that, do everthing for them in and out of the bedroom, then they burp, fart and walk away with a bottel of Jack Daneil’s in their smelley hand’s. DOUBEL FOOEY!

         I think that I have some of the symptom’s of a serial monogomist b/c I want to get MARRIED, so once I find a guy who is eligibel, I do NOT continue to flirt with other men, as I am onley abel to handle one guy at a time emotionally. So many guys start buzzing around me when I am available, but I am NOT, by NATURE, a trusting soul, probabley b/c to many men have burned me by worming their way into my heart (and my pantie’s) by false promises and misleading statements. By the time I figure all of it out, they have bolted with another notch on their winkie’s that they tell all of their freind’s about — Ellen is a soft touch, all you need do is xxx and xxx and xxx and you’ll be sure to hit a “home run” with her. FOOEY on men that mislead us like this.

         Now Myrna talked with Rosa and the both of them are comeing up with a plan to ensure that Ed keep’s his winkie in his undershort’s. Myrna’s freind know’s peeople at Ed’s firm and is goeing to arrange a “test” to make sure Ed has gone straight–meaning no more airing out of his winkie for women in bars. She is very pretty and is known as a snake charmer, which sounds wierd, b/c Rosa want’s to be sure that Ed does NOT go for the bate. So next weekend there is this thing at Ed’s firm that she is goeing to go to and we will see what happens. I hope for Rosa’s sake that Ed has learned his lesson and is goieng to keep his winkie to himself. Otherwise she will have to go to Plan B. At least the STD testing, so far, came up NEGATIVE! YAY!!!!!

   2. I’ve dated a couple of guys like this. I think that one was very anxious about being alone and single and would settle for anyone, right away, when the girlfriend slot opened up. The other was just very social and just seemed to be exposed to more people, so better able to find someone nice (and not just someone who happened to be nearby when the music stopped).

   3. In my experience, my friends who fall into this category (two come to mind..) are seriously insecure/codependent. I honestly think they are less so concerned about who they are with versus just being with someone. The relationships, since college (we’re 30 now) are usually 1-2ish years, but the guys are hardly “good enough” in the eyes of the group of girl friends.

      1. I’d put my younger sister in this category. She’s never been single for more than a couple of months in a row since high school. She is also very insecure and I personally think the guys aren’t very good for her.

         1. This is my younger sister.

            She jsut turned 40 and is newly separated from her husband of 8 years. She was single for 3 WEEKS of her life between age 17 and 28 (when they started dating).

            She is afraid to be alone, by her own admmission.

            Currently she is canoodling with a 25 year old that lives in a different country. Just can’t be alone. That said, spending time with Mr. Wildly Inappropriate means she is not hooking up with some DOOSH like her STBXH here. Plus, he is nice to her.

            Definitely not saying that all serial monogamists are afraid to be alone but this is my sister’s MO.

            1. For what it is worth, I am more like you, No Problem.

               I was single quite a long time between my 2-3 serious-ish relationships.

               I don’t think I am super picky, but I am just not that attracted to very many guys.
               And, truthfully, I never got approached all that much. Guy friends have told me, after I was married, that they didn’t think they had a chance or I wasn’t interested. I always figured I was too dorky or something ;)

               All my relationships were with men who started out as friends/classmates though. I met my H in a Feminist Theories of Law class :). I never really “dated” and I met my H when I was 25.

               So, I think there is definitely something to “serial monogamists” being more extroverted or “out there” with their “I’m interested in a relationship” vibe. I just totally do not give off that vibe! That might well be your issue as well.

            2. I think I’m a lot like you, too.

               I tend to attract the guys I’m completely not attracted to/have no interest in, and tend to be attracted to guys who aren’t attracted to me or interested in me. So my potential dating pool is really narrow.

               An example: I’m 30 and dating online. I’m interested in single (never married) guys around my age, give or take 6 or 7 years, who are reasonably attractive (have relatively straight teeth, have most of their hair, are in shape enough to run a mile or two without collapsing), have their sh!t together career-wise, and don’t come off as creepy. Who do I get messages from? Men in their mid-30s who are thinking of going back for their MBA sometime in the next few years, men who can’t find a single picture of themselves where their clothes match AND they’re not giving the camera a super creepy stare, and 43-year-old divorced guys. The guys I message almost never write me back.

      2. I definitely agree that some serial monogamists are insecure/codependent, though certainly not all. I’ve known some of each.

         1. My sis is a serial monogamist. Honestly? She’s just really really attractive. She’s a normal-level of picky, has some baggage (don’t we all), but certainly wants to be in serious relationships. She’s also very charismatic and outgoing and has a large friend group. She also is just very good-looking. She has a stereotypical “good” body – slim, long legs, nice rack – and a beautiful face. She’s also smart and funny.

            She does have a set of hangups with relationships that keep them ever from fully going the distance. Whether it’s that she loses interest, or she picks a shallow guy who is initially smitten with her looks but ultimately decides he can’t commit, etc. It’s been a number of reasons why none of the relationships have stuck in the long term – I don’t think there’s any specific pattern. But I think she’s always in a relationship because she always has options. It’s not the fun answer, and certainly never the answer that applied to me (married my first serious boyfriend, go figure), but it’s what I think applies to her.

   4. I suppose this would be me, actually, though most of this applies to my HS/College years, so take with a grain of salt.

      I’m rather introverted, but my friend groups have generally skewed male (and geeky, on both my part and theirs.) I do tend to get close to people rather quickly, but I have only once been looking for the next guy while dating someone else. Most of these relationships just happened to be pure luck of finding someone that I clicked with rather quickly. They almost always were already part of my friend group, or were close with a mutual friend.

      1. I never thought of myself as being one but what Maybe describes is very me. I have a lot of guy friends, it’s only recently I realized this and thought that I needed to make more female friends. I guess part of it might be the result of being the only female or one of a few females in my major in college. Also I skew more towards introverted although as I’ve gotten older I have tried to be more outgoing, makes it easier once you move to a new place and also career wise. What actually intrigues me is those people that somehow manage to date a few people before deciding to be exclusive with one of them. Always assumed those were more extroverted, outgoing etc.

         1. I’ve dated multiple people before deciding to be exclusive with one twice now – it’s pretty easy. Both times I was dating multiple people from online dating sites, and met/started dating someone from real life as well. In both cases, I was purposefully keeping things emotionally casual all around, making sure to not see one man multiple times a week, making it clear I was still seeing other people, until I realized I wanted to spend more and more time with one guy, and just had no interest in dating anyone else.

   5. Congratulations on not being a serial monogamist! I will be happy to answer all of your questions on this compelling and single-faceted personality type at my next seminar. All serial monogamists actually fit into an identical psychological profile and have the exact same behaviors, so it is easy to generalize once you unlock their mysterious secrets. (Actually–spoiler alert–they are all INFJs!)

      Tuition is a $2500 (non-refundable $1500 deposit is due this afternoon) and CLE credit is available in all US jurisdictions.

      1. Please remove me from the Serial Monogamy CLE Mailing List.

      2. This still manages to look more compelling that most CLEs I go to.

   6. So, before I was married, this was me.

      With respect to your questions about people like me:
      list of candidates – no
      less picky – not that I can discern
      good catch – well I certainly think so :)
      do something in particular – not with the express goal of meeting new partners
      personality type – I am a pretty extreme extrovert with mild social anxiety

      With respect to your questions about you:
      not a good catch – I sincerely doubt that
      high standards – nothing wrong with that
      don’t get out enough – that’s unlikely, unless you feel like you want to get out more

      How does it work? I think part of it came from my lovely habit of getting into relationships with very close friends. Because we were already close, we skipped a LOT of the dating type stuff. I knew how many siblings and favorite color and drink order and sleeping habits and travel goals and all that. We knew we could be in a car together for 15 hours and we wouldn’t run out of topics or want to jump into traffic. I knew that I loved being in a relationship and having a partner, and I found my times as a singleton to be very lonely. So when one was over, I’d grieve a little, pick myself up, dust myself off, and open up my brain to looking at the people around me who I already love and care about to see if any of them liked me too.

      Not sure if that’s helpful at all, but that is how my life worked out from age 17-27, at which point I married one of them.

      1. I think they tend to have a lot of guy friends. Some might call those guy friends “in the friend zone.” They have a place to start after a breakup.

         1. Yes – certainly more than half of my closest circle were men. Still are. Although if my history is anything to go off of, the friend zone is by no means a permanent designation, haha.

         2. yeah, that makes sense… but is there also some different mentality about the steps between ‘a date’ and ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ possibly?? Because there are guys I’ve ‘dated’ for 3-4 months or so, but never considered a boyfriend… is it just the definitions I’m thinking in my head? Or am i actually dating differently than other folks?

            1. I think they use “boyfriend” when they become monogamous. I think some have a “no sex w/o monogamy” rule that may speed up the decision to be monogamous.

         3. +1

      2. This is all really interesting, and a great perspective.

         I’d say that in college, I had a lot of guy friends and definitely hooked up with many of them. None of them happened to turn into real relationships, but that’s probably for the better anyhow. But then since college I have fewer guy friends, and the guy friends I do have tend to be married or already in LTRs with other lovely women.

         I’d also like to think I’m a catch! But I do need to get out more.

         1. I think really the crux of it is that we had friendships first, and from there it was easy easy to slide into relationship mode once both parties were willing. Get out, make friends, be close and open with them .. that’s how it happened with me.

   7. I guess this could’ve been me before getting married. Honestly, whenever I broke up with someone (or they broke up with me…) I didn’t have any trouble finding a suitable guy within the next couple of months. Maybe I just had a wide social circle and met a lot of people at the time. I never exactly dated losers or had low standards. In between boyfriends I went on a lot of dates, sometimes only 2-3 times with a particular guy if I wasn’t feeling it.

      1. Self identified serial monogamist agrees with this assessment.

   8. As a self-identified serial monogamist, I’d say the issue is really just lower standards and a propensity to fall for the first somewhat-okay guy to show interest. I’m definitely not an extrovert, but do have my fair share of insecurities.

   9. I think the “traits” of a serial monogamist (to the extent that it can be said they they in fact share a trait/set of traits) would vary based on age. If we’re talking early/mid 20s, people at that age are often exposed to wide and varied social circles, so it doesn’t really require special skills to meet people at a moment’s notice. Later 20s, early 30s, I would be more surprised if someone were a serial monogamist because social circles tend to shrink at this stage (not in college, stay at one job, etc often = meeting fewer people).

      1. i’m mid-30s, and I definitely feel like everyone else my age, and up to 40, that I know is a serial monogamist

   10. I think they prioritize monogamy. So they have the DTR conversation early and weed out the dates who don’t want to be in a relationship. (I’ve always prioritized other things, myself, but more power to folks who know what they want and get it.)

       1. this! Also–I guess I’m just a bit grouchy since everyone assumes being a serial monogamist is a bad thing. Like having multiple stable relationships is a bad thing?

          1. I posted below about falling into this category and I have to disagree. Certainly I don’t. I’ve always just ended up in monogamous relationships, but I’ve never really sought them out.

          2. I am not saying it’s a bad thing at all… i am actually really jealous, I just don’t understand what is different with me … i think people who imply it’s a bad thing are dumb :(

          3. I definitely don’t assume that serial monogamy is a bad thing. Multiple stable relationships is a GREAT thing. But it’s not a good thing when you’re insecure or codependent. I don’t know if an insecure or codependent person automatically disqualifies the relationship from being stable, but it’s definitely a point against stability because it creates a power imbalance.

          4. I think the “serial” part of serial monogamist implies that it’s the flavor of monogamist who jumps from one to another without discernment. And personally, I do think it’s healthy to have a long-ish period of singlehood at some point in your adult life. If it doesn’t happen that way, you find the love of your life at 17 or meet the perfect person two days after a breakup, that’s awesome, but it’s good to think, “No, I’m going to NOT send out “I’m available” vibes for a bit, and just enjoy getting to know myself, what I’m capable of, and how independent I can be,” at least once.

             1. Serial monogamist from 13(!) to 26. never really single/unattached for more than a month or two at a time. Just had my first “long-ish period of singlehood” for the past 3.5 years (still currently single but started dating in the past few months). And I have LOVED it. I kept feeling like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride when she says she doesn’t know how she likes her eggs. I didn’t know whether I really liked: running, golf, artsy movies, dive bars, modern art, start-ups, etc.

                I’ll say part of what made me a serial monogamist was being fairly extroverted, having a lot of guy friends close by/easy to meet, and my “low standard” was “oh you like me, how flattering, and this is more fun than sitting in my room (b/c I don’t have girlfriends to do things with)”. Things have changed post-college as my friend group has skewed to more girlfriends.

                I meant to just pipe in with a +1 for your last sentence to ” enjoy getting to know myself, what I’m capable of, and how independent I can be,” at least once.”

       2. I think that’s the case if you’re trying to distinguish them from people who casually date a lot, but not if you’re trying to distinguish them from people who don’t date much at all. Like, I prioritize monogamy, but by my own admission, I’m insanely picky (not consciously; I’m just…not interested in most men I meet). I’m not interested in casual dating at all, however. So I just end up weeding out most people.

          1. Huh, this is an interesting point. I guess I don’t know which type of person I am or what I want.. bc I have been in almost no relationships that we mutually agreed was ‘serious’ but I also don’t date much at all….. I guess I’m just doomed… ;)

   11. Ha, I think I fit your definition. I’ve spent most of my dating life in one serious relationship or another. I’ve been actually single for about 1-3 years total depending on how you count it and how early you start.
       I’ve never kept a list of potential “next” candidates, though I’ll confess that I once went straight from one serious relationship into another when I met someone I fell for while already seriously involved with someone else.
       I’m definitely not less picky because I think many guys my friends fall for would never be okay for me, though I think the things that are important for me are not the same as for many of my friends (and prob. vice versa).
       Of course, I’d like to think that I’m a good catch, but I honestly don’t think I’m anything special. I think I’m fun to be around (not that you’re not!) and FWIW most of my relationships have just been easy – whether it’s luck, the guys I pick or my personality, I have no idea.
       I’ve never done online dating, I’m reasonably (if not especially) social, and most of the guys I’ve dated I’ve met either through friends or when I was in school; the serious ones were mostly friends of friends. I think I am somewhat of an ambivert (sometimes extraverted and sometimes intro-), but one thing I can pinpoint with all the serious relationships I’ve had is I wasn’t afraid to be forward and I never took them too seriously until they actually became serious. Almost inadvertently so – usually the guys I really fell for weren’t the ones I expected to fall in love with so I would just be a little cheeky around them not caring what they thought and then one thing would sort of lead to another… All the guys I’ve ever met that seemed to fit my “perfect man” list and that I would be really into at first glance all ended up being dull, jerky, or a combination.
       I think there are many reasons why some people tend to be single and I don’t think it necessarily has anything to do with them. Sometimes life or circumstances just get in the way. But I do think some people are better at being in relationships than others. I’m not even sure if I am in that category myself, but I’ve certainly met others that I’ve felt that way about. Hard to say why that is though or what makes that so for some people.

   12. I fit this description for a long time. I was rarely single throughout high school, college, and law school. I think a number of factors contributed- I’m outgoing (but also weirdly socially anxious), I’m conventionally attractive, and I like dating and being in relationships. It was also very easy for meet good guys through school and friend groups- people were already vetted and I already knew them as people before I started relationship with them. It makes it easy to become comfortable with guys. I loved falling into relationships with people that I was friends with/ already knew. It felt natural and right and exciting and fun.

       Now that I’ve graduated and work all the time/ all my friends are married, I don’t meet nearly as many people and while I have dated, I have not been in a real relationship since.

   13. I’m in my early 30s and haven’t been single for longer than a couple months since I was 18…. Granted I’ve been married for the last 7 years, but before that, I had a big group of friends and typically dated within the group. I don’t believe I’m codependent or have low standards, but I also don’t have romantic notions about “the one/soulmates”, am laid back, and get along with a lot of different kinds of people. I’m still friends with all of my exes, and all of them got married fairly young too, so I think monogamous people tend to find each other. I also really value stability and am personally not into casual s#xual relationships… not sure how that plays into it, but I think it does.

       1. I would agree with this – I’m probably one of the least “romantic” of all my friends but tend to be the one who is usually in a stable, happy relationship.

   14. Two differences that I’ve noticed amongst serial monogamist friends/family are:
       (1) less restrictions in terms of religion/race/education etc. I don’t think it’s an issue of lower standards because someone certainly isn’t better based on their religion, but these types of restrictions definitely narrow the dating pool.
       (2) less marriage minded. I will only enter a relationship with someone who I think has marriage potential. Some of the SM’s I know are less concerned about that and more concerned about does this person make me happy right now and/or are they compatible with my current life. This also narrows the dating pool.

       I wouldn’t describe them as insecure or codependant. Some people just prefer to be in a relationship, just like some people prefer to live with roommates rather than live alone. I don’t think there’s anything objectively wrong with it.

       1. I would agree with #2. I’m also a self-identified SM, and I do not at all think of myself as co-dependent. Its very important for me to have “alone time” although I am largely an extrovert in social settings. For me, my serial monogamy derives from repeatedly “falling into” relationships. I go on a casual date, and then suddenly its been 2 months and I haven’t been on any other dates and we’re spending 3 nights a week together. I think its because (1) I don’t place a lot of rules or requirements on relationships (i.e., I’m flexible about time spent together, events attended, mixing social circles, etc.) (2) I don’t have a defined “type” so I like to see how longer term relationships work with different personalities (3) I’m very independent so relationships ending don’t knock me off my game very badly and (4) I am a huge nurturer (to a fault, definitely) and a homebody. In my experience, things like cooking dinner together and watching Netflix on a couch transform flings to comfortable relationships surprisingly quickly.

   15. I don’t know if I agree with above who says they are less marriage-minded. I have a close friend who could be considered a serial monogamist, and it’s because she is marriage-inclined. She knows what she wants, she learns from each relationship, and then she dates until she finds someone else she likes because she knows she wants to get married soon.

       I would say that she is an extrovert, puts herself in situations where she meets a lot of people (i.e., online dating, going out, meeting friends of friends), and I think most importantly, the key is not that they have lower standards, but are more open to dating people that others (such as yourself) might shut down immediately without giving someone a chance.

   16. Thanks for posting this – I’m not one, but I know some people who are, and I’ve always wondered what the difference between them and me is.

3. wow thank you for asking this. I have wondered the same thing, but I have never been able to put it into words. I will be following.

   1. SAME! (assuming you’re referring to No Problem)

      1. yeah i was, didnt notice that in time to edit, oops

4. I have a couple of pieces and it is beyond fantastic. It’s nothing like anything else I have cashmere — thick, beautiful, and it doesn’t seem to wrinkle.

   This is a lot of $. I’ve gotten lucky on e-bay (BR4P = Akris 6, except the time I got something that perhaps had been altered or otherwise will be lovely for some lucky thrift shop shopper).

5. Immediate TJ: Where did you all save the money you planned to use for your down payment? SO and I are looking to buy in the next two years. We have about 30k currently saved and are saving 2k every month. We’re in a fairly high cost of living area (Greater Boston) and I’d guess we’ll need at least 80k saved up, if not more. 20k is currently split between two index funds (one very low risk and one high risk) that my grandparents set me up with as a child. The rest and anything else we save is going to a GE savings account. I’m wondering if this is the best option.

   Also, any tips for working towards this goal? We’re already saving 30% of our income for this, but it just feels so daunting and I want a home now.

   1. We might be the same person. We have a bit more saved, but are in Boston and are saving at the same rate… doesn’t it seem so far off? :-/

      Anyhow, ours is in a Schwab brokerage account in cash reserves. We didn’t want to risk market fluctuations by investing it, even in the “safest” of investment vehicles.

      1. Weird! What interest rate do you have? We only have something like 1.05%, which is abysmal (but one of the best I’ve seen for straight savings).

   2. I’m you a few years from now. I couldn’t figure out the answer to where to save the down payment for my (pricy pricy pricy) Boston down payment, so I have $70K of the $80K I expect that I need, but it’s just sitting in a Capitol One 360 savings account. Not ideal, but it’s all there now that I’m almost ready to use it.

   3. Mine is just in a basic Cash ISA (UK tax free savings account). It gets a rubbish return, but I’m hoping to need it in about two years, so I don’t want to lock it up anywhere.

   4. A friend who is a financial planner told me that with a “short” time horizon of 3 years or less that you’re better off saving the money in a very liquid form like a savings account.

      1. Absolutely.

      2. Yep. We have our down payment fund in a Capitol One 360 savings account, and then another account of stocks/mutual funds. I had everything in stocks and mutual funds but woke up in a cold sweat one night after a market drop terrified that we were headed for another recession and we wouldn’t be able to buy a house if the market dropped 20% or more. I remind myself that what I’m losing in potential returns I’m gaining in stability.

      3. Yep – you want every cent available to you, so I’d aim for a savings account versus anything market-dependent or investments.

   5. We kept about 26k of ours in a mutual fund that I’d had since high school. It was simply “Saved money” at first, but when we identified it as our down payment money, it meant getting it OUT of the fund. And paying penalties on it. So, YMMV, but I’d save in a much more liquid venue.

   6. come buy my house! we are selling in greater boston :)

6. Cute suit!

   T/J: I bought this dress yesterday but am now having second thoughts about the print being too twee/too young. I’m 33 and for the first time in my life am starting to consider things like “am I getting to an age where this is not that appropriate?” For reference, I *think* I am still quite youthful and I wouldn’t be wearing this to work so those concerns are a non issue; more of a weekend dress with tights and booties. Thoughts?
   http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/shopsale-freshcuts/4130339185625.jsp#/

   1. I think this dress is fine for weekends and agree with you it’s not for work. The print is fine, but I wonder if it’s the material that makes you think it’s too young. Rayon just makes me think of Forever 21 and prices under $20 for a dress like this.

      1. Eh – you can have really cheap rayon and really nice rayon. Rayon was developed as a silk substitute, so you know that it’s silky and drapy, instead of crisp and structured.

   2. I thought the print was going to be birds or umbrellas from your question! I don’t think it reads too young at all. Agreed, not work appropriate though.

   3. Adorable as weekend dress. In my office I could mayyyybe pull it off on Friday if I found a jacket that worked. I want it now.

   4. If the print was more abstract and less “hearts” I think it’s fine for almost any age for casual wear. At a youthful 33 the hearts are OK.

   5. print is fine! I think it’s maybe the fabric and overall structure that’s making it feel young – the smocking and sort-of-henleyish button front make me think of something Meredith Grey would have worn in like, season 3.

   6. The hearts are a bit young but fine for weekend wear.

      1. Thanks all! FWIW, the material looks and feels like cotton and is very soft, so that’s less my concern. And I never intended it for work. It’s really just the hearts – I feel like it’s hard to wear hearts past 30 but then the black and white aspect of it makes me think it’s okay… I’ve gotten similar dresses from this line and the prints never bothered me before. It is very flattering so I think I’ll keep it for weekends. Thanks for the honest feedback!!!!

7. Something bad happened at my university this past weekend – actions the administration took against students and, in some cases, parents. The alumni base is outraged. Is there any reason to not write a to-the-point, strongly worded email to the powers that be? It would be “professional” and curse free, of course, but sending it makes me nervous for unknown reasons…

   1. Is it a public university?

   2. Do you have a less angry friend that you could run it by first? Or, could you let the draft sit for another day and read it over again when you are calmer? Not saying you shouldn’t send it; I think alumni support is vital. These are just my rules for angry emails.

   3. I would do it. Schools should care about how their alumni feel about goings-on on campus, especially because alums represent a large donor base.

      1. I do it all the time – both good feedback and bad feedback.

   4. Private, stupid wealthy university. I’ve sat on it for two days and still want to send it… haven’t toned it down since I originally wrote it either.

      1. Send it. Directly to the President. That’s what I do. Sometimes he replies.

      2. Assuming you work, I would just consider what, if any, ties your organization has to your school – you wouldn’t want your personal letter to create blowback for your company. Even though you aren’t sending it from your work email account (you aren’t, right?) your alumni association likey knows where you work and could connect the dots for the administration.

         1. This. Send only if you are okay with it being edited (hacked) and published and linked to your work. I wrote a letter to the editor of my newspaper about something. It had a form I had to use which included “employer to verify identity.” Letter to the editor can’t be under a fake name for that paper. They totally re-wrote my letter giving it a different tone and published it with not only my name but MY EMPLOYER. My employer wasn’t thrilled and asked me not to use my work email for that. I hadn’t and explained I thought they only wanted my employer to verify I was who I said I was. Luckily my employer agreed with what I wrote so there was no major backlash but it had the potential for disaster.

            1. Wow! Good to know this.

            2. I just hit send! It was sent from my gmail of course, and my employer has zero affiliation with my school (it’s a small boutique finance firm). I appreciate the concern for there potentially being such a connection because of course that could be very, very bad, but it’s not something I need to worry about.

      3. Are you a donor currently or in the past? Send it to the alumni relations/fundraising group as well and if you have some kind of automatic donation, cancel it.
         Sometimes the wallet speaks louder than the mouth. You could also consider sending your letter to the campus newspaper.

   5. I absolutely must fail at political correctness. Why wouldn’t you write something? There is no way that your alma mater will know how alumni are feeling unless they hear from alumni. Agree with mascot to let brief period of time intervene if you are hot headed now, but please don’t be silent. After all, the university is no longer in a position to harm you, unlike, say, the students who are affected by this situation (whatever it may be).

   6. Why not? I sent a very forthright email to my university yesterday. They’re considering changing from a two-semester academic year to three terms with assessment at the end. I’m a current student, but changes would come into effect after I leave.

8. also, i LOVE the color of this suit, I have always coveted blue suits that are a brighter blue than navy, I don’t know why but i want them all so much. but really, those sandals…. really!?! i just can’t even….

   1. I am SO. CONFUSED. by the sandals. First of all, with a suit, really?! Plus, they’re ugly.

      1. i wouldnt wear those sandals with any clothes at all, they are horrible.

9. Love the color of the suit but I would be concerned that the color of two different blends/types of fabrics would diverge after dry cleaning.

   1. It looks like the colors are already slightly different. I don’t know why a designer would use different fabrics for different pieces in a suit.

10. Best friend is having a baby. I was thinking instead of giving a pack of diapers/set of onesies/other random thing, I might give a collection of baby/children’s books. What are your/your kids’ favorites?

    1. Vintage edition of Grimm’s Fairy Tales.

    2. Board books of the classics like “Goodnight Moon” and “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” were major favorites in my house. As my kids got to be 5-6, they loved books like “Danny & the Dinosaur” and “Bedtime for Frances” (all the Frances books, actually).

    3. Mo Willems! His books didn’t exist when we were kids but I LOVE him. And I have no kids. I just love his books.

       1. Agreed, anything and everything by him is wonderful. The Knuffle Bunny collection is great.

    4. Thomas the Tank Engine. We had a massive collection of the stories, which fell apart by the time I was 6.

    5. – Iggy Peck Architect, Rosie Revere Engineer
       – Tails
       – Knuffle Bunny, Pigeon needs a bath
       – Anything “touch and feel”

       1. My 4yo LOVES Iggy Peck and Rosie Revere.

    6. Shel Silverstein – Where the Sidewalk Ends
       Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys
       Anne of Green Gables (someone gave me a beautiful hardcover copy when I was a kid and I loved it)

       Babies/toddlers love Eric Carle’s books and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.

       1. +1 to Shel Silverstein (I had a Light in the Attic). You have fun stuff to read out loud while the kid doesn’t really understand anything, and something to come back to when they are a little older (maybe starting around 4?)

    7. i always do a Winnie the Pooh book or the whole collection, Peter Pan. And board or picture books my favorites include: The Snowy Day (Keats) Hungry Caterpillar or Brown Bear Brown Bear (or any Eric Carle) classic fairy tales like: Briar Rose, Robin Hood, Hasel and Gretel, Jack and the Beanstalk. at least one Dr Seuss (Wocket in my Pocket or One Fish, Two Fish), at least one ‘tactile’ book, with things to touch or do inside. Another thing I like to do for far away friends is get one baby book that features the city I live in, I’ve seen lots of these, and I feel like that is a little personal. ;o)
       Oh yeah, my mom’s day care kids LOVED “Cock-a-doodle Moo” the barnyard animals say the wrong noises, they think it is the funniest thing EVER

       1. also, i LOVE giving books, i have only ever given books to friends, never clothes or baby ‘stuff’ .. and my friends have always loved it, because they get to use the books over and over for ever.. plus if i go to used book stores, I can give a lot of presents for pretty cheap!

    8. My go-to baby gift is a really nice blanket. In many cases, it has become the child’s go-to object for comfort (ie hauling around the house)
       Plus they will keep/use it longer than something that is worn/outgrown.

    9. My nephew is a year and a half old now and obsessed with Curious George.

    10. Books are perfect. Get fun ones that the parents will enjoy reading, too. Go to the bookstore and look at ones that make you laugh. This will out me to friends, but we particularly love the Little Blue Truck collection, Dragons Love Tacos, The Day the Crayons Quit, all the Sandra Boyton books, nd any Eric Carle. Chances are they’ll get 100 copies of Goodnight Moon and the Very Hungry Caterpillar. The Paperback Princess is a must for little girls.

    11. My daughter is 18 months, and we read together for ~30 min every night before bed, so I can list the “hits” from the past year. Almost every book is in board book form, because young kids are super rough on books.

        – Dr Seuss’ ABC (only one not in board book form, but she already knows a few letters)
        – Thomas the Tank Engine’s Hidden Surprises (lift the flaps!!!)
        – Sophie the Giraffe Colors and First Words (more flaps!)
        – Hand Hand Fingers Thumb (board book version)
        – Dear Zoo (flaps! see a theme??)
        – Sandra Boynton’s anything, but especially Birthday Monsters
        – Peek-a-Zoo
        – Pout Pout Fish
        – Room on the Broom
        – That’s not My Puppy (tactile)
        – Any of the I Spy board books

        Plus we have subscriptions to a couple baby magazines – Highlights Hello, ZooBaby, and BabyBug. Those are really cool because they’re new every few months and keep me from poking my eyes out.

        1. Ooh, someone gave us a subscription to Baby Bug when our son was a baby – he’s 20 now! – and we both loved it. Glad to know it’s still around.

    12. Lots of favorites (some of these will be better suited to a toddler, but will give your gift longevity): Little Blue Truck, Brown Bear Brown Bear, The Hungry Caterpillar, Hand Hand Finger Thumb, Barnyard Dance, Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site, Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, Dig Dig Digging, Jamberry. Some of the favorites when my toddler was a baby were any lift the flap baby books like Where’s Baby’s Pumpkin or Where’s Baby’s Belly Button. Good luck!

    13. And a couple of black and white board books for when the baby is tiny.

    14. Click Clack Moo!

    15. Virginia Lee Burton is wonderful! She did “The Little House” and “Mike Mulligan and the Steam Shovel.” We also had a fun one that I just found in my mom’s shed called “Rotten Ralph’s Show and Tell” by Jack Gantos. Also, “Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day.”

        Because some days you just want to move to Australia…

        1. I was just going to post about Alexander. I was just thinking about him because I had one of those days today…

           I always include that book with my baby shower gifts…

    16. Thanks everyone – it’s so fun to see how excited we get about children’s books!

    17. Having recently been on the receiving end, books are a great off registry gift and kids don’t outgrow them like clothing. I love getting them! When they are newborns and not interacting with the books, things like Shel Silverstein (poetry, not the Giving Tree!) and anthologies of folk tails are fantastic. They are easier to read outloud because there are fewer pages to flip and engage the adult reader better. Now that the babies are starting to pay attention, I love Go Dog Go, Pete the Cat, Runaway Bunny, Green Eggs and Ham, Dr Suess’ ABCs. I think I got 3 copies of the Very Hungry Caterpillar.
        And if you want to make your friend cry, get her On the night you were born. I’m not sure any mom can read that to her kid for the first time without tearing up!

        1. This is true about Hungry Caterpillar.. but Eric Carle has so many other books with such beautiful artwork, which people rarely get, so I highly recommend going with one of those!

    18. I have a 16 month old. She loves: Dear Zoo (plus you can pair this with some cute animal puzzles, toys, stuffed animals, outfits, etc), Brown Bear, any book that is textured components (we have a cute one with furry puppies and kittens), and anything with flaps. We also have been buying the “babylit” series because I think they are hilarious– more for the adult chuckle than anything else. Though, she loves Anna Karenina because she is going through a “hat” phase and all the ladies are wearing hats ;)

        1. The BabyLit books are SO SO SO CUTE. My best friend is currently pregnant and got gifted a set of these at her baby shower. We were all passing them around.

           I also love Animalia— it’s an alphabet book, but each page has the most gorgeous pictures.

    19. I got my about-to-turn-4 y.o. niece a subscription to Highlights Magazine – I have very fond memories of that mag when I was a tiny tyke, and I think it’s part of the reason I love reading so much today. I got her the classic, but I know they also have variations for really, really young kids. :)

    20. I almost always do book collections for baby gifts, based on our favorites:
        Look out Patrick
        Piggy in the Puddle
        Sheep in a Jeep
        Alphabet City
        If you Give a Mouse a Cookie
        Time for Bed
        I Love you As Much
        Stellaluna
        Is your Mama a Llama?
        Good Night Dinosaurs
        Jamberry
        Hip Cat
        But Not the Hippopotamus

11. I’d get these in the board book versions. Kids can be hard on books and it’s not easy balancing a baby and turning paper pages.

    Big Red Barn
    Bear Snores On
    Good Night Moon
    Guess How Much I Love You
    Moo Baa La La La

12. My Mama’s a Llama!

13. I kind of wish I had the sort of life where I could wear a leather blouse.

    1. Just wear it. It would be awesome for a thissite brunch!

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