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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Long-Sleeve Sheath Dress

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A woman wearing a bright blue sheath dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

A long-sleeved sheath is an easy option for mornings when you need to look pulled-together but don’t have the capacity to think about a full outfit. This dress from Maggy London comes in a really pretty blue that looks a little more exciting that the typical black/gray/navy but won’t look out of place in a formal setting.

Add some great shoes and jewelry and you’re all set to go. 

The dress is $49.97 at Nordstrom Rack and comes in sizes 0-18.

Sales of note for 10/9:

  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale, and $50 off dresses, jackets and shoes
  • J.Crew – Friends & Family Event, 30% off for loyalty members
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off all stores and sitewide
  • M.M.LaFleur – Fall Refresh Event, up to 25% off (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off on other items)
  • Nordstrom – 15 points per dollar on beauty and 6400+ new markdowns (also, weirdly, they have the Fall 2026 Chanel collection, which I feel like is a first for them, but it's like a catalog for you to call for an appointment… very strange)
  • Nordstrom Rack – Extra 40% off select clearance
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything. The Old Navy x Altuzarra collab is in! All sizes (up to 4X!) of the blazer in the collab is still available.
  • Talbots – All markdowns 50% off two or more, or 40% off one.
  • Theory – End of season sale is on with extra savings (new prices are marked).

129 Comments

  1. I had an amazing dress from them back before COVID. IDK what the fabric quality is like now. Any guesses?

    1. Thinner and cheaper fabric. I don’t buy them as I would need to wear full shapewear because every lump/wrinkle/underwear line shows through.

      1. I size up in this brand to avoid that problem.

        This dress is lovely. I bet it would be a great conference dress. And I look great in cobalt. I’m seriously considering it.

  2. I need some nicer casual pants that are not linen and need to show due to going up a size or two. I tried Kut from the Kloth back in the skinny Jean era. I saw some ads for colored denim and noted that they have both short and long lengths and want to try them again. I am 5-4, with a stomach and thighs layered over a pear shape. Maybe a 10 unless they don’t allow for seat room, so maybe a 12? A 10 at Talbots was all sorts of huge in the stomach (really not expecting that) and I couldn’t get anything in the store to work. Finally, is this brand actually stocked in stores so I could try on many variants at once? Last time I got from ordering from Nordstrom.

    1. This is pretty much my exact size and situation this year. I got a lot of mileage out of any of the curvy fits. Funny enough curvy fit jeans from American Eagle. Curvy fit pants from Ann Taylor – although I had to get a size 12, not 10.

      1. I’m a similar shape and also wear the curvy fit pants from Ann Taylor and weirdly had success with American Eagle for jeans. The problem was finding a pair that didn’t have weird distressing or holes (hate that we’re back in the ’90s pre-roughed up jeans era because I’m convinced someone at Abercrombie back in the day had a bet going on how much they could get people to pay for jeans with holes already in them). I can usually find one cut at J.Crew that works, as well, though they seem to change their styles more frequently than Ann Taylor so I’m never sure which one until I try them all on.

    2. I tend to carry weight in my stomach and Kut from the Kloth works well for me. They have plenty of styles that aren’t skinny.

      1. fwiw, fits labeled curvy are almost always wrong for me – give too much at the hips and not enough at the waist.

    3. Kut runs huge. I have to size down one or even two sizes depending on the style. Evereve and some independent boutiques carry it in store.

    4. I like Loft curvy fit pants.

      Another thing I have tried as my gut outpaces my rise is petite sizes. Like, maybe I need an 8 for my waist, but then the rise is too high. Sometimes a petite 8 will work. But I’m barely 5’4”, so petite lengths are generally okay (and I like cropped pants).

    5. I am also a 5’4″ pear with a belly. I love Kut from the Kloth and have three pairs. Note, they run big so size down.

  3. Anyone have a recommendation for a bookshelf that’s cheap and VERY easy to assemble? this is for a basement storage room so I really don’t care about aesthetics at all, just want to minimize how much time and money I have to spend on this .

      4. +1

        IKEA is the gold standard for instructions, and they have the assembly instructions available online on the product pages, so if you’re in doubt, you can check before you buy.

    2. If it’s for a basement and you want to put random things on it, get one of those wire storage racks (searching for that term will bring up the product I mean). They are super easy to put together and should be cheap.

      1. Yes, and way sturdier than cheap bookshelves. They hold a ton and are very easy to assemble.

    3. If you want even cheaper, I have an Ikea Laiva that’s been going strong.

      If you aren’t 100% sure what you want to store on it; any “cube storage” unit works for books, or bins, or whatever. At Ikea, those are Kallax, but if you want to do this without an Ikea trip, target or Walmart will always have a similar thing, and I’m sure amazon prime has at least one variant deliverable tomorrow.

      1. I have the Target Threshold cubes in 4 x 4 across one basement wall in white. They are stupidly easy to assemble and I prefer them to Ikea Kallax as they are lighter, but no less sturdy. If you have kids, I would not stack them without the right reinforcements, but if not, the 4 x 4 ones are about desk-height, fit 13″ cube storage and they really don’t look bad! Recommend.

    4. I have 3 arched metal bookcases from Nathan James in my basement. They were orders of magnitude easier to assemble than anything from IKEA.

    5. Are you putting books or other stuff on it? If it is other stuff, go to home depot. The Husky shelves are easy to assemble and you can weigh those down.

    6. Get proper storage shelves not a bookshelf. Basement storage has a way of evolving/accumulating over time. You’ll want deep shelves that can hold a fair bit of weight for a long time without warping. Ordinary bookshelves just aren’t deep enough for most storage needs. And they somehow manage to collect more dust than shelves do.

      I got whatever was cheapest at the hardware store. I don’t have any particular recommendations, I’ve sort of accumulated mine over time. I don’t prefer wire shelves because things tend to shift around on them and I think I’ve broken or bent every one I’ve ever owned.

  4. First world problem I need help spending down a $700 wellness and delegation stipend given to us because we are in a busy season. I get it monthly between now and December.

    It can go towards self-care like gym membership and massage (but not workout clothes) or “delegating” towards a busy time like house cleaners, meal service and laundry service (but not groceries). It can’t go to normal childcare but if a late night sitter is needed because of work (but I won’t be able to pre-plan for that). I have a family gym membership already and I can manage my house on my own so feels like a waste to spend the money on a cleaner.

    Should I get a mobile stationary bike or walking pad or gym bench? I have weights already and don’t have space for a treadmill. Is meal service truly worth it? I am a vegetarian so not sure which are best for that.

    I think I am having difficulty to full spend 700 a month but I want to use the benefit. Help me with this good problem to have.

    1. Do you have an active hobby it could go toward? (A girl at my barn is using her wellness stipend for a new helmet and some riding lessons, which I thought was genious)

    2. I’d definitely get a gym bench, I use mine for pretty much every workout. If you don’t have them, TRX straps are also very versatile.
      I’d prioritize a cleaner and a monthly massage. Think of hiring a cleaner as buying your time back – you CAN clean it yourself but you can also hire someone and use that time to workout/run errands/see friends/etc. Alternately – can you use it for a laundry service? Dropping off all my sheets/towels and picking them up clean and folded in a day sounds like a dream.

    3. Can you buy gift cards with it? I’d use the December stipend for gift cards to local massage places or to buy gear for anyone on your list who plays a sport.

      1. This probably is a violation of the policy. I wouldn’t risk it – people get fired for stuff like this.

    4. Massages, acupuncture, spa days. Medical spa if allowed. Specially made shoes to fit your feet (if you can spread the coat over 2 or more months. Gym bag that is stylish enough for non gym use. Bike and helmet to ride outside on bike paths (again would require more than one month, but perhaps the bike store can phase payments). Personal trainer or yoga instructor at your home.

      I have so many ideas.

    5. This is an interesting problem to have! (I’m curious about your industry, I’ve not heard of a stipend that large before.)

      It may feel wasteful to spend on a cleaner, but the point here is to buy back your time, so would it help to reframe that way? Or hire someone to do deep cleaning of things you’ve been putting off? I can clean my house, but the mental benefit of walking into a clean house every other week is huge for my well-being.

      Can you hire a personal assistant for a certain number of hours? Given the season, I’d love to outsource some of the holiday-related demands – gift shopping, wrapping, addressing holiday cards, creating meal plans/ingredient lists for holiday meals etc. if you do any of those.

      If not, I’d look into a meal service or a personal chef for some meals. If your family is okay with leftovers, look for options that you can get at least two meals out of. Or could you just use it to doordash dinner until you’ve used up the $700?

      1. +1 for cleaners. Even if you can clean on your own, there’s something about having the time back (and they always do a better job than I can!)

        2. +2 for cleaners

          Pay for a deep clean once every month or two. You probably aren’t cleaning your fridge, baseboards, pulling out furniture etc. all the time. And if you are, why are you wasting your precious time doing that, as your time is clearly limited and much more financially valuable?

    6. Oooh so fun! Things that actually feel like they either give me back time or boost my wellbeing: takeout dinners, cleaning service, fall yard clean-up, gym classes (pilates in studio or peloton at home), massages, fresh flower delivery. I haven’t personally done personal training sessions but since you mention you already belong to a gym, I imagine that would fit in this category for me if I did it.

      Things that aren’t worth it for me: meal delivery service (we’ve tried multiple times and it’s a no for me), laundry service,

      With that amount of money, I’d personally do a spa afternoon once a month getting ~2-3 services (~$500) and then would spend the remainder on either a cleaning service or takeout. Part of what’s guiding that decision is that it would reduces the mental load for me if I booked all 3 spa days in one go, had just that one timeblock a month to plan around (vs. like a weekly training session), and just have it pre-standing vs. having to re-decide and estimate costs of different options to get to the right amount every month. I would be a little wary about starting something you don’t want to pay for yourself for the next 9 months like a cleaning service or a peloton membership because that could make January feel like a real downer if you wind up liking it a lot.

    8. Can you use the stipend to pay for your existing gym membership, and then use what you usually pay for the membership for whatever the heck you want?

    9. My office has one of these and a popular choice for women is using it for haircare – whether expensive highlights, Drybar, etc – or cosmetic treatments like Botox.

    10. I would stock up on all my yearly vitamins and supplements if those are allowed then I would get meal delivery from the pricey place that’s just heat and eat.

    11. The gym bench would be nice if you already have and use weights!

      What about some sessions with a professional organizer? A friend just had someone come in to do her pantry and garage and now I’m tempted to do the same.

      I had something similar in the past (through health insurance) and I bought air purifiers, ski lift tickets, and a red light face mask.

      1. Also, last year I got a deep clean of my house right before Thanksgiving and biweekly cleans in December and it made my holiday season SO much easier.

      2. Wow – that was a health insurance benefit?!? Wild… what kind of health insurance? In the US?

    12. Is this a thing now?!? Man, I definitely went into the wrong career.

      With $700 a month I would definitely hire weekly cleaners and spend the rest on as many dance classes as I had time for.

        1. Last time I checked a weekly clean ran $150/week. That was a couple of years ago, though. It’s probably doubled like everything else.

          4. HCOL 3 bed / 3 bath / 3 floors (incl. finished basement) – weekly clean is $120. I would guess that we’re slightly below average for similar sized houses on my street, with the average being closer to $140-150.

    13. Similar benefit although not as generous – most people pay for stuff an annual basis (e.g., pay your gym membership for the whole year, buy multiple months of classes) to consume the benefit. If you haven’t already pre-paid, I might see if your gym can front load the next six months of fees.

      Other ideas, for November – pay for a pre-thanksgiving deep clean, same for the December holidays. Think, not having to stress about cleaning before guests come and all the baseboards get cleaned.

    14. I will forgo nearly every other luxury before I give up house cleaners. It’s so freeing to never have to scrub a tub or mop floors.

    15. Um, so, not saying I’ve done this, but you can buy an oura ring from the river site, expense it, and return in, and pocket the difference, if you really don’t actually want anything.

    16. If you live in an area with snow, can you use it for a snow blower? Certainly saves time vs shoveling.

    18. A heated theragun is worth it. CBD massage if you have sore muscles. I would do meal delivery as well especially because there are some like hungry root I think where you can get snacks delivered. Red light devices qualified for mine if that’s a thing you might be interested in. Or, use it to buy someone else a device for a gift.

      Would facials or dermabrasion count? Sometimes the things your dermatologist does will qualify when your local health spa won’t.

      I would pay for the house cleaning or maybe house organizing if that’s something you could do. The big seasonal cleaning?

    19. We have a benefit like this and I review submissions as the finance director. $700 isn’t as much as you would think. Also nothing happens to people who push their luck. I had one guy confidently say he was entitled to use the credit for his girlfriend’s gym membership. HR was on the email. I do keep a track of who is dishonest because I deal with them all the time with forecasting.

      I have $150 a month allowance and use my gym membership plus a massage. I like that you have cleaning the house as an option and I’d use that in a heartbeat. I’d do one big clean before thanksgiving and another before Christmas.

    20. If you are in a location that has vegetarian/vegan meal service for more time intensive dishes like ratatouille, good breads or pastries, or dishes that can be a quick freezer meal might be worth it.

  5. I’ve been WFH for a while and have gotten out of the habit of wearing any “hard pants” other than jeans. I hold weight in my hips/stomach anyways so it makes it hard to find pants, and back when I wore business formal to work I wore a lot of dresses.

    Anyways, I love the Jayne pants from Ann Taylor. They are very comfortable, they hit at the right place. The material is very soft. They look good. The website says they run a little small and maybe they do – I’m an 8/10 right now and I’m wearing a 10.

    So if you hate pants and are looking for pants I’d give this a try

    1. Ah they’re considered “mid rise trousers”. The exact cut I’m always on the hunt for. Makes sense. I bought these pants a while ago but I’m wearing them for the first time today.

    2. Thank you! Just ordered. They look like the mid rise pants I’ve been looking for!

  6. Does anyone have a hybrid job where you commute long distance to the office for 1 week per month? I am currently remote but considering a job that would require this type of arrangement. It would be a five hour flight each way and 5 nights in a hotel room at headquarters. I’d love to hear your pros and cons if you have a similar arrangement.

    1. I don’t do this but had someone on my team for a while who did a similar arrangement. The colleague did it because it provided significant professional opportunities that were worth the tradeoff for a few years. They ended up having to leave when we went to mandatory full-time RTO and couldn’t relocate, so know that’s a risk if the company changes its policy.

      It seemed like the biggest hassles were the uncontrollables: flight delays, hotel snafus, last-minute meetings that caused schedule reorganization, etc. The colleague found it hard to be away from their family for things like kid sports games. The worst was when the colleague became brutally sick while on travel, spent a week with the flu in a hotel room and had to wait to get well enough to travel home. They felt miserable and had lots of unexpected costs to rebook travel and extend hotel stays. If your org is funding and/or arranging travel, that would be a huge benefit; this person had to self-fund and self-arrange.

      1. That sounds miserable. Yeah, flights are often delayed, cancelled, things happen… lots of stress.

    2. If I had to pay for my own flight and hotel, no.
      If travel was reimbursed …. maybe. If I like the city, if the job pays very well, offers good advancement, etc. And if it’s truly only one week/month – no “well, could you just come up for this big meeting too?”

    3. I had a prof who did that and he left our midterm papers on the plane. So I think this only works if you’re type A.

    4. What’s your home life like? Spouse and kids? Pets? Solo? That would be a big factor, in addition to the comments about who is paying for the travel and what is the job/ future advancement prospects?

      1. +1. I may have considered this arrangement when I was single depending on salary, etc., but now that I have elementary school aged kids, it would be a no for me right now.

    5. A five hour flight is a lot. Will travel time eat into your weekends, or do you travel during the work week?

    6. It would have to come with an incredible raise – like double my current salary.

    7. My spouse does more or less this, and it’s worked out relatively well. I do think it helps that he was originally local to the job and went in regularly; the change came because we moved to be closer to family. It also helps that he likes the place he travels to and has a number of friends to see there. It’s absolutely crucial that work pays for the travel and arranges the hotel.

      That said, it’s a lot of time to be gone and I think it would be really challenging if you’d have other travel in addition to the week/month. My spouse and I have discussed that more than this amount would probably not be sustainable (though we’d figure it out for a really incredible professional opportunity, probably on a time-bound basis). It’s also relevant here that we have kids, which introduces a bigger set of spousal trade-offs. I suspect that’s not a factor for you or you would have mentioned it, but please reply if that’s not the case and I can get into more of what that piece looks like.

      1. I do have kids, but they are older: 16 and 13. We also have two cats. DH currently works part-time likely moving closer to full time soon. The job pays well enough that I am concerned about the expense. It’s something like $145,000 more than my current salary for a smaller workload. Stock compensation will likely have an even better upside due to the industry. Obviously this is in tech, and this is a unicorn type of role that not many people would be qualified to do. This type of commuting is common at this company; they even address it on the recruiting section of the website. While I am remote now, when I do have to travel for my current roles, it’s that same 5 hour flight. While I don’t do it monthly, I do it at least quarterly and sometimes multiple times a month. I don’t have friends in the city, but I am ok with taking that time to concentrate on work/myself.

        1. DH travels most weeks for work. Travel ranges from a 4 hour drive to a 4 hour flight. He likes being on the road and I’m an introvert who likes having time alone during the week; we don’t have kids. The arrangement works well for us.

          Considering the ages of your kids, including that one presumably drives, and that the arrangement would lighten your work load when you’re home, so you can invest in yourself and your family more during non-travel weeks, I would do this in a heartbeat.

        2. My kids are younger, so we’re heavily in the logistics stuff around school pickups, ferrying to practices/cub scouts/religious ed, not being able to be home alone. In our previous city, when my husband was working locally, he still had work travel but less (probably about your current frequency). TBH, I prefer our current setup because while the travel is more frequent, the logistics of our day-to-day are a lot more simple and we have grandparents here who can pitch in.

          On additional thing to think about here is how much control you’ll have over which week you’re traveling. Other posters have mentioned missing kid events, but if your travel is primarily weekdays and you have some control over which week you go, I think you can obviate a lot of that. My husband does coach one team for our son, and we’ve made that work by having me step in as a sub for the mid-week practice when he’s out of town. He’s generally back in time for the weekend game.

        3. With that age of kids and that much of a salary increase, I would do it. You could use some of that extra money to hire someone to drive around your 13 year old, if that something you normally do, or otherwise outsource a lot during your week traveling.

    9. Not a 5 hour flight, no. That’s the other coast! I’d do it if it were a 90 minute flight or less.

    10. I personally could not do this and I’m happily childfree. I have gotten way less patient with travel as I age and combined with travel truly getting noticeably worse for the customers, this would be a no for me.

      I already make a great living and love my job, so the only possible additional factors that would give me pause would be if this was truly a once in a lifetime unicorn job AND literally a million dollar raise. But in that case I’d just move.

    11. A lot of people at the government agency I worked for did that. They lived several states away and came in for their required week in office. For some people it’s a lot cheaper or their spouse works elsewhere or they just want to live in a rural area or smaller city. There are super commuters who fly back and forth every week, so it’s a better deal than that.

      Advice from friends who traveled to clients regularly (as consultants), I remember they were able to leave some toiletries and things in a box with the hotel staff so maybe consider that.

  7. I’m attending a women’s professional conference in Dallas in October that has us one night at The Star in Frisco, Texas (I’m assuming it’s where the Cowboys play but idk or care..). Anyway, I’m told we need a clear plastic bag – plastic, vynal or pvc. 12x6x12.

    Admittedly, this is a gap in my wardrobe. I usually just stuff credit card, phone and ID in my pocket at concerts but I feel it’s high time I purchased a clear bag for venues like this.

    Any recs that you particularly like before I order something on Amazon and hope for the best? There are one million options.

    1. Check out the Bagallini brand. I don’t have a clear one but have other bags from them.

    4. First, I wouldn’t spend a ton, since not all stadiums have the same rules (my local university doesn’t allow bags at all, of any size, except for medical or childcare needs).

      That said, Lands End has a clear bag in the style of their canvas totes, which is kind of cute for a clear bag.

    5. I got a clear bag on Amazon for a different sporting event. Just pick one – they will all be roughly equivalent.

    6. If you are willing to spend a little more than Amazon, the Mark & Graham one you can personalize is cute and good quality!

    8. Borrow from a friend, if possible. I needed a clear purse for one night earlier this year. I asked a friend who goes to a lot of events, she had one, I borrowed it from her for a couple of weeks, and I was happy I hadn’t spent money on a plastic purse I won’t need again.

  8. Who else is here in weekend mode and doing the bare minumum at work today?

    I have a family friends wedding tomorrow, and then hosting a fall party on Sunday. My todo list for the weekend is way more interesting than prepping a slide deck today. And the weather is perfect today after a couple gloomy days.

    1. For the last few weeks, I’ve been working on an urgent chaotic project with 50 million stakeholders asking for different changes, and I’m getting to the point where I just don’t care anymore….

    2. I wish! I planned to leave by noon for an out of town trip, but now I’m stuck waiting on an urgent document that was supposed to be delivered by end of business day yesterday and still isn’t here….

    3. I’m limping towards the weekend, my kids are back in school but I’ve been down with a virus all week and still not back to 100%.
      Planning on a very low-key weekend while my husband handles running the teenagers to their events as I’ve been doing school pickups/drop offs while he’s been away.

  9. I keep getting mass emails from coworkers re: tough personal situations. E.g., my mom’s cancer spread, my family member is getting taken off life support, I broke my ankle last weekend. The goal is appropriate (I’m leaning out, here’s some context, bear with me). But I’m weary of the emotional labor in responding…even “I’m sorry” provokes a follow-up with lots of detail. These are people I work with regularly.

    Do you respond to these? Any good canned responses?

    1. Yes because I’m not a monster and I genuinely offer something I can help them with (not hard when it’s a colleague). Wow, you’re cold girl.

    3. I’ve never encountered this – is it a run of really, really bad luck in people you work with closely, or do you work with a really large group of people, or is it just an unusual convention at your office (everywhere I’ve worked, it would be typical to share the reason with only a very few people – most people just need to know “I’m on leave X dates” or whatever; or even if you are leaning out, people you work with only infrequently don’t actually hear that – they just get a reply that says “Got your request for X – Amy (copied) is going to take that one”).

      1. It sounds like she’s one of the people they work with regularly, not one of the people they work with only infrequently, even if they are emailing the latter as well.

      2. same. tbh it’s more common for people to expressly not want their manager to share the reason with a large group, so that if they’re at work they’re able to compartmentalize better.

      3. Same – I get emails about leave, etc., but not necessarily the reason behind it. If I’m particularly close to the person or work with them daily, I’ll probably get more details, but it won’t be mass-emailed. I wonder if OP’s workplace is anti-leave in general, and employees feel like they have to really justify their absence?

        Anyway, OP, I don’t think you’re heartless for feeling a little worn out. For most folks I’d follow up with “I’m sorry” and then skim the follow up for action items if the situation is triggering/upsetting for you. For someone I’m closer with, I’d reply with more detail about what I can do to support, and bring it up the next time I see them in-person. Hoping for a better run of luck for you all soon!

      4. This isn’t always a situation where you’re going to be out of office though. I’m a caregiver to a person with cancer, and have been for 2 years. We have a cadence of regular appointments that is just easier to let people know because I will be working — just from a hospital. Even people with stage 4 cancer can live for many years depending on the cancer.

        They may not expect an emotional response. You can offer something more concrete like is there something related to x project that I can take off your plate? Or, say nothing if you don’t want your feelings involved.

    4. As someone who just went through the diagnosis and subsequent death of a parent, my advice is to try to be grateful you’re not experiencing any of these things, say “I’m sorry,” and draft a quick email in response to whatever follow up. Like truly these people are not telling you this stuff to irritate you. It is so that you know. “I’m sorry” really isn’t that much emotional labor, I cannot imagine being “weary” of doing this, especially as compared to your coworkers who are trying to manage difficult stuff and work.

      2. I’m so sorry for your loss.

        In fairness, caregiving fatigue is obviously a real and recognized thing and perhaps that’s what OP is feeling?

        But yes I agree that even a rote sentence response -literally copy and paste! – is called for here.

        1. Caregiving fatigue is something that happens to caregivers.

          Being burdened by just being factually aware of someone else’s hardships is something else. Some people get a kind of empathy burnout if they don’t have great boundaries of their own, if we want to do more therapy speak.

        2. Oh my god, no. Absolutely not. Receiving emails from your coworkers informing you of their losses/ struggles and having to muster up a one sentence response is absolutely NOT caregiving. That’s not what caregiver fatigue refers to. Please google this concept.

      3. For real, this is therapy culture gone wild. You know who’s doing emotional labor? The person going through the life event not the person hearing about it.

        2. It sounds like the OP’s question is about the *second* response. “I’m going to be less responsive for a while – my mom is transitioning to hospice” –> “I’m so sorry to hear that” is a normal thing most normal people can send back to acknowledge the email without it being a big burden (and if/when it feels like a burden; that’s usually a sign to me that something else in my life is off-kilter — like I’m drowning in a serious situation that I’m not also asking for help with).

          But getting a follow up to that reply with a detailed update (sent just to you?) does feel unusual to me in a work context — unless you’re particularly close with this coworker & talk about non-work stuff a lot; or you have an unusual office culture; or possibly your coworker is just truly drowning, and you are the first person who’s said anything vaguely kind (but again, that’s *unusual* – I can respond graciously when someone who wouldn’t typically look to me for support maybe randomly does, maybe in a situation where it wouldn’t normally be appropriate; *because* it’s such a rare thing to happen. It sounds like it’s happening frequently to the OP, and that’s unusual!)

          1. I’m not the OP, but in my world I feel like way too many people are drowning all at once right now (and I have gotten some really detailed follow ups too).

    5. Maybe it will make it easier for you and feel less like “emotional labor” if you remember that these coworkers are not actually relying on you for emotional support. They just need your awareness and understanding. You do not need to come up with the perfect response. You will not fix their situation with whatever words you produce. A kind acknowledgement will suffice.

    6. I get these. I reply to acknowledge what they are going through.

      I also do an extra piece of linking the support we have through our benefits package. It’s really not hard to be kind to people going through a rough patch.

  10. Does this service exist and if so what can I expect to pay? I think I need to metal detector my lawn and a wooded area on my property. It’s about 2 acres. I intensely do not want to do this myself.

    When my house was built in the 60s, the owner used the adjacent property as a big workshop. That property has since been sold off and a house was built there. The original builder of that house (not our house) still lives there and said it was a nightmare getting all the old equipment and parts off his land; they had to raze the land through a lot of layers of dirt/rock/clay, and he still occasionally finds things.

    Idk if it’s from that time period or some other prior owners, but we’ve found some rusty mechanical parts on our property. Worse, we found a whole pile of rusty nails at the edge of our lawn where the yard meets the woods.

    We have a baby who presumably will one day want to run around the yard and probably, against our instructions, in the woods bare foot. He will learn his own lesson about going in the woods barefoot – plenty of poison ivy in there – but I’d prefer to limit the lesson-learning to natural hazards and not, you know, hidden rusty nails and car parts. We would also like to get a dog someday and I’m guessing the dog will be barefoot. Can I hire someone to do a thorough or at least better than I would job of getting all this junk off my property?

    1. I think most places have a metal detecting club. Google yours and reach out. Even better, go to a meeting to meet some interesting people you might not have otherwise interacted with.

      1. It sounds like she is not interested in doing this. I wouldn’t be. I have a metal detector and it is always beeping but rarely finds metal.

      2. I mean, you could do this to offer to hire them or ask them their recommendations for a professional service. I don’t think anybody’s going to want to hunt around for a stranger’s rusty junk just for fun.

        OP, this sounds like the kind of thing you spend a few weekends working on.

    3. You can hire junk removal. There may be a landscaping service that has a reference. I live in an older neighborhood and it was just more common to bury that kind of stuff.

  11. What do you think will happen with the Lindsay Clancy case? Will she opt for a plea deal rather than going through another trial?

    1. I suspect there will be another trial and even more careful jury selection to avoid wife beaters.

    2. My understanding is that she was always willing to plead to NGRI. Given the split of the jury, I cannot imagine her attorney would recommend she agree to anything else. The question is whether the DA will accept that given the results of the first trial and the pressure from Patrick Clancy as the closest surviving victim (who has been very clear that he does not think she was criminally responsible). However, this is all speculation and we will know soon enough.

      Does anyone barred in Massachusetts know whether a NGRI plea can include a minimum period of commitment?

    3. I dunno, and I’m definitely not a lawyer, but as a Massachusetts resident, I cannot fathom pursuing this trial any further just from a sheer cost/use of resources and spectacle perspective.

      Additionally, the governor just came out with some multi million dollar commitment to postpartum care/mental health initiative. As the former AG of the state, I feel like that was a strong signal on where she stands on the issue, which is this was driven by inadequate care and mental illness (aka NGRI) and not whatever it was the commonwealth was trying to charge her with.

  13. After a construction project is over, the construction company will go through the yard with a big magnet to pick up all the little pieces of metal scrap that are created during the project. You might see if you can find a roofing company or a construction company that would do this for a big lot.

    1. +1 – our roofing company did this after we replaced our roof a few years back. There were still a few random nails but they tend to lay flat vs. sticking up (we have a dog and 2 kids and nobody was hurt in the yard that summer).

    2. Y’all must be rich rich. My roofer left full sets of nails around my yard, along with other debris.

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