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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 113 Comments · by

Coffee Break: ‘Bedford City’ Quilted Tote

Coffee Break

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M Z Wallace 'Bedford City' Quilted ToteI think this M Z Wallace bag is finally giving the ubiquitous Longchamp Le Pliage bag a run for its money:  it's a nice size, has sensible interior and exterior pockets, and I love the detachable shoulder strap and the additional pouch. I also love the vibrant blue (you know me) but it is also available in black and “almond.” It's $355 at Nordstrom. M Z Wallace ‘Bedford City' Quilted Tote P.S. Whoa: maybe I'm crazy, but I haven't seen the large version of this online before:  the Longchamp Planetes tote bag (black on black) is finally available online — it's $175 at Nordstrom. (L-all)

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
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  • Boden – 20% off
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  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
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  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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Comments

  1. Starting your own medical practice?

    Cute bag! But too rich for my blood for nylon. Has anyone here started their own medical practice and/or is married to someone who did? Any advice or tips? Thanks in advance!

    • Ellen

      Grandma Leyeh would LOVE for me to find and MARRY a doctor, so that I would NOT have to work at all. Unfortuneately, I was not smart in college or law school, and spent to much time in the LAW LIBRARY, and NOT in the MED School library like my freind Lorrie. Lorrie wound up dateing a med student, and she is NOW married with 3 kid’s!!!!! And of course, she is a stay at home mom, even tho 2 of the kid’s are now in school! Boy, did I miss out, b/c her husband is some big doctor in Reston Virginia, and she did NOT even have to move very far away from DC. She has horses and everything, and she was NOT even as smart as I was in college, grade’s wize, that is. But now, she wound up hitteing the JACKPOT with Jamie (whose parents got out of Iran when the Shah was over thrown or something). Lorrie call’s me at least 1x a week to talk about thing’s and I know she is very happy, so mabye I should have studied in the MED School library with her. She does NOT even have a gradueate degree like me!!!! I was dumb NOT to do what she did, b/c now, I have to choose between an elf with no sex drive and a gardener who wants to put my picture up in his locker at the Park’s department! FOOEY! Where was Grandma Leyeh 14 year’s ago when I needed advise???? DOUBEL FOOEY b/c I alway’s wanted to learn how to ride horses!

      • Starting your own medical practice?

        Oh great, thanks! I guess everything! How did you pick a location? Did you have hospital support at all? How much did it all cost in the beginning? How long until you turned a profit? How did you get referrals? If you prefer email, could you please email me at janedoeette at gmail dot com? Thanks a million

      • Starting your own medical practice?

        Sorry if I sound like a luddite – there is just so much info to take in.

        • MDMom

          Are you starting the practice or are you married to an MD? You questions seen a bit vague as it you have not done much research prior to posting.

  2. Formal Attire

    I’m invited to a wedding where dress is “formal.” I’m not sure I truly need an evening gown (I definitely see women wearing c0cktail dresses when their dates are in tuxes), but I’m thinking of renting a long dress from Rent the Runway to be on the safe side. I’m eying the David Meister metallic twisted gown (link to follow), which is black with lots of gold flecks (although I loved it more when I thought it was mossy green). Is this too noisy or otherwise inappropriate for a wedding? If so, I would love other suggestions (I am short and curvy, and don’t want deep cleavage or open back). If it matters, the event itself will be on a Saturday evening in July just outside NYC. Thanks!

    • Brant

      This would be fine (and is gorgeous) for a formal wedding. You would also be fine in a very dressy cocktail dress, nice jewelry, fancy shoes.

    • hoola hoopa

      Lovely dress. I think it would be perfect for black tie or black tie invited, but it could be too much for something more c-tail.

      What’s the venue and what did the invite say exactly in regard to dress code?

      • AIMS

        Yes, I think formal is not quite black tie and even black tie doesn’t usually mean long dress unless you’re a woman of a certain vintage, anyway.

          • ohc

            That seems too informal to me, actually. (Though super cute.) I think the first dress you posted is *gorgeous*.

            Any way you can sneakily check with other guests or with the couple to see what they envision as “formal”?

          • AIMS

            I agree. It reads a bit informal to me too. I think it’s partly the styling but also the hem in the front and the blousy top. I do think the first dress is gorgeous and maybe you can style it down? I could see it looking really nice with loose, long hair, a long gold chain, and some beaded sandals (nothing else super serious or formal, in other words).

          • NOLA

            Yeah, this looks too much like just a summer dress, not a formal short dress. Maybe something in between? I think it’s partly the style and partly the pattern. I’m not sure you could dress this up enough.

        • Senior Attorney

          I disagree. I think “formal” means “as dressed up as it gets” and is a synonym for “black tie” (although if you wnat to be super technical, back in the day black tie was considered “informal” and white tie was “formal”).

    • Niktaw

      I love the Meister dress, but are you certain that it won’t be too long for you? I am also short and ALL the maxi dresses are too long for me. Petites, of course, are not, but the selection of maxis in petite length is minimal.

    • darjeeling

      I got a bag (the Baby Jane) half-price from them last summer; I spotted it on their website (which had a lot of good stuff on sale at the time) and picked it up from the store so I could have it right then.

    • s in Chicago

      Sign up for MZ’s newsletter. They have huge sales about twice a year and have sales on a particular item pretty regularly. I received notice today of 30 percent off the moto Biana. You also may want to check out ebay (I nornally wouldn’t recommend that for purses, but I think a smaller designer like this is less likely to have fakes). Lot of times they have a good selection of NWT that are much less than retail.

    • a.k.

      also, if you follow the group on the purse forum, they will flag particular brick & mortar stores with sales.

  4. TBK

    Will someone please explain the allure of the Longchamp le pliage bag? I see about three dozen of them every morning on Metro, but I just don’t understand spending $150 on a nylon bag, especially when it doesn’t even have compartments or pockets. What am I missing? (I felt the same about the original Kate Spade bags — those boxy little nylon handbags that were around $150 back in the 1990s.) I have a number of plain tote bags in cotton and nylon that work for gym clothes or whatever, and a large leather tote (with internal pockets for cell etc.) that’s my daily work bag. The leather bag probably cost about $200 and looks good enough for the most formal business meeting. Meanwhile the tote bags were $20 or less (including several I’ve gotten free). I’m happy to spend good money for quality, but I don’t get le pliage.

    • LilyB

      The LePliage looks way nicer than a canvas tote, and they last a really long time, they’re basically waterproof (great when the weather is uncertain), go with everything, can be professional or casual, etc etc etc. I agree the internal storage is bad, but otherwise I love them.

      • hoola hoopa

        Dumb but serious question: Is leather not waterproof? I thought it was. My small leather handbags seem to do fine in rain, but I’ve never had a large leather tote that would be more exposed in a shower.

        • AIMS

          I think leather is mostly fine in the rain, though it is not waterproof. But the reason people like this bag is precisely because it is not leather, so it is not heavy.

    • TO Lawyer

      I don’t get it either. Plus, I’d much prefer to have a bag that not everyone else I know has. When I was in law school, a group of girls once mixed up their bags because they all had identical longchamp bags…

    • AIMS

      I think the idea is that they last so multiple $20 tote bags is not (too much) less cost per wear than 1 $150 bag? Also, I think they are a bit more elegant and professional than just a typical canvas tote bag. And, obviously, for some there’s the whole “everyone has one, t/f I need one” factor. E.g, I remember in law school, it was almost like a rite of passage for girls from outside of NY to get one of these for their books.

      Anyway, that said, I never got their appeal too much either, but mainly because I never want to have the same bag as everyone else on the train. I do think they are much better than the MZ bag posted. I am having a very visceral “dislike” reaction to that one – I think it’s the vibrant blue!

    • Kanye East

      They’re super lightweight, waterproof, and only suckers pay retail for them. They’re always 50% off somewhere in NYC at any given moment.

    • Monday

      Ha, I own one and I still totally relate to your skepticism. Here’s how it came to pass: I already had a very nice leather bag with flaps, compartments, lining etc. that I use for just about everything. The only issue is that it’s heavy and that for some trips and occasions I don’t want to risk damage to it. My Pliage bag is very light and is ideal for sweaty walking around in the summer when I’m not worried about looking polished, or for carrying extra food or a pair of shoes. Somebody spilled beer on it at a cookout and when I told them it was fine, I meant it! It washed off without leaving any mark. All of this said, I still probably wouldn’t have gotten one of the plain nylon ones. I happened to find a Pliage tote in a limited edition glossy finish with a horse pattern on it that’s a reflective deep green color, and I just loved the look. The medium size was about $120 I think. It’s a bit on the flimsy side, but for what I got it for I have no regrets. I’ve only ever seen one other person with the same Pliage I have–though I know that doesn’t matter to everyone.

    • Anonymous

      THANK YOU. I am so glad someone finally asked this. I do not get their appeal, except maybe for the fact that they come in so many colors. I guess it works as a casual weekend bag or even an overnight bag, but I don’t think it is all that professional. To me, a professional bag should have more structure than this and is preferably leather or leather look-alike. It is too slouchy. But, I’m probably in the minority since when I lived in DC this bag and a pair of Tory Burch flats was the standard uniform.

      • Anon

        I have one and use it as my supplemental work bag (ie, it holds my lunch, extra paperwork, etc). It is not my purse. It doesn’t come with me to meetings, to lunch, etc. But it is great for carrying around extras, and also for airplanes.

    • Batgirl

      I got one a few years back when it went on sale (for probably about $100) and I have to admit, it’s a useful bag, but an extreme rip-off if you ask me. I don’t know why I bought it except for the fact that I “wanted” it. It’s a sturdy tote, but I think the only reason people consider them more professional than others is because they’re easily identifiable as expensive bags. Liberate yourself from snobby bag syndrome! :)

    • D

      I love mine — lasts forever (and Nordstrom will send them in to get tears fixed free of charge!), light, and roomy enough to fit my sneakers, gym clothes, makeup, wallet etc. I’m carrying it today. Usually I carry Modalu Pippa, but on days like today when I go to the gym, Longchamp it is!

    • Also Don't Get It

      It’s safe in a boring middle-of-the-road, won’t stand out kind of way. Which is fine, but I think there’s something in the Kool-Aid when people actually rave about its *appearance* rather than its function.

      Ditto the Kate Spade boxy overpriced stuff, and the same for anything LeSportSac which makes me think of floral diaper bags.

      • Em

        I feel bad but your first sentence is what kills me about it. It feels so Stepford Washington Office Girl.

    • Prepster

      Before Le Pliage became ubiquitous, Longchamp was actually a insider brand popular with a very particular set (class) of people. Like the same people who owned Hunter boots before everyone had them and they could be purchased at Nordstrom.

      • anon

        yup, exactly. you used to only be able to find them in Paris. Then circa 2005 (?) they started making le Pliage for a fraction of the cost and they started selling like hotcakes. good for sales but now their status as an “elite” brand is somewhat tarnished.

      • Also Don't Get It

        I’m familiar with that social set you’re talking about and I really find all of their clothes and accessories boxy, plain, and matronly in the aggressively understated-with-a-hint-of-equestrienne-Connecticut “WASP” kind of way.

      • Houston Attny

        Yes! I’m remembering an article I read (and my google skills are failing me) about the obtainability and affordability of some ‘luxury’ items and brands. So Tiffany’s, for example, isn’t out of the grasp of many people who want something with ‘Tiffany’s’ printed on it (there are very expensive items, but there are also obtainable, affordable items). Sort of like Tory Burch shoes and Kate Spade bags. I suppose the idea is Presumed lux + affordable = everyone has them so are they still lux?

    • Statutesq

      I did not understand them either, but I received one as a gift, and now I want another in a different size. It’s basically perfect for everything I want in a tote–lightweight/durable/resistant to the elements/easily stores/zips shut. Plus mine is a pretty lavender color, and it makes me happy. I’m sure there are other bags that fit the bill, but they really are great totes.

    • expensive canvas

      Yep, never understood the appeal. For the price, I could get a decent leather bag! If I wanted something I really didn’t have to worry about, I’d get a cheap tote from target- I have one from five years ago and it’s in good condition, even lugging around a laptop. I do think that people get them because they are recognized as expensive. Kinda like uggs which I also don’t get.

    • A.

      While I don’t think I wanted something just because everybody else has one since the age of 16(?); the fact that many many people have it in spite of its popularity, may come from the fact that it’s so awesomely utilitarian.

      Like D, and AIMS discussed above, while not the “ideal” for a professional meeting with clients, it serves in a pinch, especially when weather is acting up. Given that commuters have so much to carry, especially if you want to eat real food and not pay through the nose (I’m looking at you $5.95 fruit container) all of the stuff gets heavy and bulky, and the Pliage bundles it all up without looking like a homeless lady/side effect of ruining your shoulders/back from a larger leather or faux leather bag.

    • locomotive

      I adore my le pliage bags. The medium size I have I got in college and used it to tote everything around – it’s just so light and waterproof and looks much better than a backpack when I was finally starting to enjoy dressing like a grownup. The bigger versions I have I love for weekend trips – they are just SO light and easy and sturdy. I’ve used mine as daily purses forever and you can carry way more stuff you want without it getting as heavy as it would with a leather bag.

        • DAR

          My recent-college-grad daughter has one that is 5+ years old and we’ve put it through the washing machine three times. it is only showing wear on the corners, which can be sewn up easily and cheaply by a shoe repair. Carries a lot of stuff and in my opinion is cheaper that having bought a succession of cheap nylon bags. she wouldn’t take it to an interview but is using it for grad school and weekend trips.

          • goldribbons

            FYI: Longchamp will repair the corners of your bag for free. They did mine a few months ago and it’s great.

    • Houda

      Longchamps is great quality.
      Packable: I like them because I can fold them flat and they take up no space and are lightweight.
      Durable: They still are very sturdy and I have carried all kinds of heavy, pointy, muddy items in them so they are my go to bag for travel, gym and work/commute.
      Low maintenance: The bags are waterproof and easy to clean so this is also a plus.

      I typically buy one bag every couple years so each one has a story (almost always related to being in some airport).

  5. Anonymous

    I have been noticing that every female I know has a skewed relationship with food, and I know mine is far from great, but I’d really like to fix it. What is the goal for thoughts regarding food? I don’t even know what would be considered normal? Does every woman have a love/hate relationship with food?

    • Anon

      Everyone is different, so I’m not sure that there is a “normal” that fits all, but for the vast vast majority of people, I think that the ideal relationship with food can be summed up as –

      Don’t overthink it.

      If you’re spending a lot of time planning meals (and it is stressful, as opposed to happy and relaxing), thinking about what you should eat, thinking about what you shouldn’t eat, worrying about macros or portions or what is the panacea of food combinations for you, then this just seems like an exhausting way to live.

      Nourish yourself. Eat what you enjoy, and hopefully most of that is healthy (read: not processed, not something that causes you gastro-distress, etc). Know your particular needs (for allergies, for extra nutrients if you are an athlete/nursing mama/pregnant/etc) and respect them. But don’t spend too many minutes worrying about what is right/best/perfect.

    • same here

      I’ve noticed the same. For me, I finally broke my love/hate relationship with food when I changed to Paleo eating. It took 3 months of half-trying and not feeling better to finally just ditching the foods that I would allow as “exceptions”. I have not had a better relationship with food than I have now. I still love to eat, and knowing that the food I eat won’t make me fat or sleepy helps a lot.

    • layered bob

      I know this is definitely not for everyone, but I’ll tell you what I did during one of my eating disorder recovery phases (in addition to/after therapy etc. etc.). I ate exactly what I felt like. All the time.

      For awhile this meant that I ate a box of oreos every day. Then cinnamon rolls. Then bags of salt and vinegar potato chips every day, for as long as I felt like it. I gained 12-15 pounds. Slowly I got sick of eating that and what I *really* wanted to eat was brown rice. Then hard boiled eggs. Then fish tacos, for probably four weeks on end. Eventually, I was able to pinpoint exactly what I was hungry for, and try to eat just that. A year later, my eating habits normalized themselves and I lost the extra weight I’d gained without thinking about it.

      Now, if I’m hungry for a cookie, I eat a cookie – I don’t obsess about it, I feel no guilt and don’t need to justify it. But most of the time I’m not really hungry for cookies (or other junk food), and I don’t have to think about food much beyond noticing what I want to eat and then eating it.

      • Hollis

        This is awesome advice and one that worked for me, too. when i was dieting, all i could think about was ben and jerry’s and brownies and other stuff that was off-limits. now that i can eat anything, i don’t have those cravings anymore.

        To all Corporettes who have been there with me, I highly recommend a book called “Intuitive Eating.”

    • rosie

      My main food goal right now is to move away from eating for the sake of eating when I am angry or indulging in treat foods to make myself feel less upset.

      • layered bob

        everyone always says this but I have no problem with “eating my feelings.” I mean, eating makes you feel good and releases all kinds of happy, calming, satiating chemicals. So why shouldn’t I eat when I’m upset? Sure, I’ll also do lots of yoga to control stress and do a breathing exercise when I’m really upset, or call my husband, or pet my friend’s dog… but eating is a perfectly valid response to stress and I think it’s symptomatic of society’s food issues in general that women are always told not to do this.

        • rosie

          For me, I don’t want to associate the food with the bad feelings because I don’t want to start associating the negative/upset feelings with something I like to eat.

        • Elle

          Completely disagree. Eating when you are hungry is the ideal. Eating is not problem solving.

    • hoola hoopa

      I don’t have a love/hate relationship with food, but I’m not sure what to say about my thoughts about food. I guess that’s kind of the point.

      I try to eat a balanced diet but don’t sweat the small stuff. Generally, I suppose I indulge when we go out or I have a ‘reason’ to (celebration, just feeling like it, etc) but otherwise just keep healthy food around the house. If I’m hungry, I think about what relatively I haven’t had much of yet that day in broad categories (essentially starch, protein, fruit, vegetable, water). I love food. I get excited about trying a new recipe or restaurant. But I don’t feel like I need to justify, limit, or stress over my choices. If my pants get tight, I focus on paying attention to when I’m full rather than ‘dieting’.

      If you’re curious, my BMI is ~23, which is consistent with my build.

    • Also Don't Get It

      I would say something similar, except I’d swap out “food” for “weight.”

      Weight is a difficult, fraught topic for most women. Food is one of the factors that is seen as contributing to whatever issues there are with weight. So it manifests to the outside viewer as “issues with food.” I would say the real underlying issue is fear of weight gain because society treats women who don’t fit into the 5’9″ size 0 box as defective or worse.

    • Anon for This

      I think this is a super personal thing and you have to get to your own normal. If you think you would like to change your relationship with food, then I would highly recommend seeing a professional. A few months ago I essentially had the same question as you and felt my relationship with food was not healthy, and I didn’t know what healthy looked like, but I knew this wasn’t it. It took me a little bit of time to find someone, mostly because it seems like most people out there specialize in anorexia and bulimia, but not so much in general overeating (which is my issue).

      I am currently seeing a counselor that works with people who overeat. We talk a lot about eating being based on thoughts / feelings / behaviors and striving for those 3 points of the triangle to be as balanced as possible. I know it sounds sort of hoakey, but I think it has been good for me. We also have a workbook, I’ll try to post a link to it later today.

    • King Kong

      King Kong think your generalizations problematic.

      King Kong also find calling women “females” problematic.

      • Anne Shirley

        I find calling women females problematic too, but I can’t put my finger on why. I think it’s because “female” is a descriptor that can apply to any veneered species, ie gorillas for example, and we have a specific word for femal humans, women. I rarely hear men being referred to as males.

        • TBK

          Really? I feel like I hear “male” used just as much as “female.” It seems like just a super clinical term to me (like being described in a medical report).

        • King Kong

          Really? I feel like I hear “male” used just as much as “female.” It seems like just a super clinical term to me (like being described in a medical report).

          • Ella

            Maybe I shouldn’t be talking to King Kong about this, but 1) it’s trans women not transwomen because trans women are women and trans is just a descriptor 2) how is females othering to trans women? Because trans women aren’t female?

      • Anon in NYC

        I also cringe when I hear women described as “females”. Like, “other females wear” or “other females in the office”. I can’t quite figure out why, but perhaps King Kong is right – it’s slightly dehumanizing. “Women” just sounds so much better.

        • Meg Murry

          Normally, I would agree that you should just say women if you mean women – however, in this case I wonder if the OP used “females” to encompass “women and girls”. I definitely know girls as young as 8 that have unhealthy relationships with food, and I feed like pretty much everyone I knew did by 15 – and if you didn’t, mean girls tried really hard to make you have one, as in “I can’t believe you’re going to eat that!” or “Do you know how many calories are in that?!”, or worse “Did you see what so-and-so had for lunch today? No wonder she’s [insert insult about weight/size here]”

      • Amberwitch

        Funny, I feel the opposite way. To me, female is a biological fact, while woman is a social construct. The former is a clinical, objective fact about me, the latter is a valueloaded concept that I don’t want to associate with.

    • TBK

      I have about 15lbs I’d like to lose, but when I’ve tried things like food diaries or WW, I feel like they encourage disordered eating. I wind up completely obsessed with whether I have enough points/calories/whatever to eat that Item X, and not whether I’m hungry or need the vitamins, or just really need a damn piece of cake already. It also makes social events stressful (as in, “oh sh!t I have a work lunch on Wednesday but if I eat what they’re serving, I won’t be able to eat a piece of cake at my friend’s birthday on Saturday”) and makes me freak out at my husband if he disrupts my work-out schedule (“but I HAVE to run three miles tonight because I already had the extra piece of cheese for a snack at 2:00pm, assuming I was going to run tonight!”).

      For now, I’m trying to focus on eating healthy foods (including adding lots of veggies to my meals) and sticking to a regular workout schedule (and not freaking out if I miss one workout). We’ll see if my size 6 suits ever fit again, but I just can’t face the stress of counting everything, or of not eating when I’m starving because I ate an extra cookie earlier in the week (or the feeling of still being SO HUNGRY after I’ve just finished a meal — no thanks).

      But, yes, it’s weird how food-focused most people are. I wonder, though, if everyone is food-focused it’s just that for most of human history, and for lots of people alive today, it was being focused on getting enough food for the day, not on not eating. I mean, we literally trained our dog to be completely responive to food all the time as a way of training him. Pretty much all lab animal experiments you hear about involve food. Food is a huge deal.

      • Meg Murry

        The only thing I’ve found that works for me food diary wise is to write it all down, with serving size, in a plain notebook or text document – but NOT calculate calories, etc. I feel like WW places too much emphasis on “fake food” and like you said, you get too obsessive about the exact # of points, etc.

        I’ve also experience the very first world problem of walking into my huge pantry/opening my full fridge and feeling like “there’s nothing I can eat in here, its all bad for me/too many calories/too processed/upsets my stomach” and then I feel terrible thinking about how many people in the world are hungry, while I’m surrounded by food but feel like I can’t/shouldn’t eat it. Then I wind up ridiculously hungry a couple hours later and eat the worst choices out of the whole lot out of “comfort eating” and then feel even worse about myself.

        I’m trying to get to the Michael Pollan approach: Eat real food, not too much, mostly plants – but something that sounds that simple sure seems complicated sometimes.

      • Anon

        Honestly I would love to not worry about food, but after gaining 30 pounds having a “healthy” relationship with it of just eating what I wanted, I had to count calories/exercise/keep track. I lost the extra lbs and you could never talk me into not keeping track as I don’t have any desire to be fat again. If you’re lucky enough to eat what you want, good for you, but I am actually a lot healthier keeping things in check.

    • Nonny

      “Does every woman have a love/hate relationship with food?”

      Not me. I just have a love/love relationship with food.

      I keep it in check by exercising and eating whole foods rather than processed foods. Simple.

      • LH

        +1 I also have a completely love/love relationship with food. I’ve never dieted or counted calories or restricted intake of foods I love. I couldn’t do it. I just try to sleep, drink tons of water and put some moderately good-for-me foods on the plate too.

        • yes

          completely love/love. I eat whatever I want whenever I want it and I would never stop myself because I love food and it makes me happy. I work out so I can eat more.

    • anon

      I really think your question was with respect to weight not food itself, as someone else mentioned. For me, weight itself is not an issue–i have been the same weight for a few years now, and I am comfortable with what that weight is. All of my clothes fit me now, which is a much better situation than having weight fluctuations all the time, and needing to have multiple sets of clothes, or needing to be shopping/altering all the time to account for the ups and downs, or wearing things that simply did not fit. At this point, weight is a neutral issue for me. But, I do cook and enjoy learning about food and its impact on our overall health. And, the more I read on this topic, the more I realize that I might not actually know what “healthy” food is. For example, does a healthy diet include meat? I always thought the answer was yes, lean protein is good for you. However, you can certainly find medical research out there that indicates otherwise. It is confusing, and I will say that as someone who isn’t trying to lose or gain weight, but rather just to eat for long term health benefits. I don’t know if it is “normal” to say I find food confusing, but that is where I am at currently…

    • anonymous

      Anon for this. I struggle(d) with binge eating for years. I have gained 30 pounds on 4 separate occasions, and lost pounds on 3 other separate occasions when I stopped bingeing.

      If you’re looking to reform your relationship with food, I recommend the book Women, Food and God. I’m not a religious person – there is not very much “God” in the book and its mostly about being spiritual, rather than forcing a specific religion on the reader.

      Also, the Beck Diet solution was helpful for learning about/putting into practice intuitive eating.

      I’m adding this late in the day, but I think you got a lot of great advice below (eat what you want, eat intuitively, etc). But some people don’t know how to “eat intuitively” – like me. I hadn’t simply just gotten hungry and eaten what I craved in years – I only ate out of shame/stress/celebration, etc.

      For people like me who have unlearned intuitive eating behaviors, you need to find whatever resource it is that works for you to teach you how to simply just view food as a natural part of life. It might be WW, it might be a book, it might be a therapist. It does take some work, but it’s worth it.

    • Houda

      I realized I have an unconscious obligation to clean my plate even when I feel full or -worse- if i don’t like the food.
      I am starting to pay attention to this, and telling myself it is OK to have leftovers on a plate.. I know it sounds weird but that’s my goal

    • Anon

      I have struggled with eating disorders and/or disordered eating for years. Over the years, I have learned that there are certain things I can’t change. First, I know that will never look in the mirror and see a skinny girl even though I am 5’4″, wiegh 128 lbs, and wear a size 2-4 pant. Second, I know that any dieting feeds my anxiety and body image issue. And third, and related to first, I know that I do not actually need to lose weight.

      Recently, I decided to stop dieting and other forms of restrictive eating. I still watch what I eat, but not like I used to (couting every calorie, always looking for ways to eat fewer calories). I do food journal for a few days every couple of months just to make sure I don’t get out of control (you know, with those Hershey kisses I keep in my desk for chocolate “emergencies”). Also, I recognize that, while I would like to eat (or drink) to make myself fell better, it never actually works for me. Going to the gym makes me feel infinitely better than eating does. Finally, I try to eat A LOT of protein. I find that I feel satisfied longer and no longer want to snack between meals. Also, when I stopped taking BC, my ravenous appetite waned. Who would have thought?

      It’s been a long process, but I am learning to love myself as I am.

  6. n

    I thought the same thing about the Longchamps bag… until I got one. I haul around way too much stuff, and the weight of my old (admittedly more polished) bag was killing me. I can cram everything I need into the large size and the weight is still manageable. Plus, it’s waterproof (laptop totally dry in a rainstorm, although this did completely backfire when my waterbottle dumped inside… and all the water STAYED inside until I opened it back up) and virtually indestructible. I’ve used mine daily for almost two years, and– like I mentioned– crammed it with all kinds of stuff… and it still looks pretty much new. Doesn’t clash with anything I wear, etc. So. I’m a converted believer. It looks more structured when it’s full, and I just use smaller pouches for keeping littler things than laptop/files organized.

  7. Foodie

    Does anyone have a good way of cooking tempeh? I bought some on a whim to try but can’t figure out what to do with it. I’m thinking of turning it into some kind of sandwich?

    • locomotive

      I like cubing it and putting them in a stir fry with veggies, teriyaki sauce (or whatever sauces you stir fry with). I sear them a bit initially to get a great crust on the outside too. yum!

    • Equity's Darling

      The only way I’ve done it is to break it up and sort of dry fry it until it’s browned? It’s from Bittmann’s “How to Cook Everything Vegetarian” book.

      I don’t love tempeh (texture/flavour), so the only way I eat it is to slather it in spices and “fry” it, and hide it in a salad. I’ve bought it once or twice, and I wish I could love it, but I don’t really, so I keep trying.

      Also google PPK and Tempeh – PPK stands for post punk kitchen. I think the Garlicky Thyme Tempeh may fit what you’re looking for re: sandwiches, but I’ve personally been debating the Orzo/Tempeh recipe, in yet another attempt to love tempeh.

    • rosie

      I usually stir fry it in cubes, like locomotive. Last night I used (in this order): oil, frozen garlic cube, tempeh cubes, fresh mushrooms, frozen veggies, variety of sauces, pineapple.

      I also sometimes cut it into strips and cook it in the oven–usually put it in a glass dish with a little soy sauce and turn it over ever 10-15 minutes until it’s browned on both sides. Then we eat the strips on sandwiches, salads, or for snacking. Although the tempeh I buy is only 2 servings per package, so it doesn’t last that long.

    • Anonymous

      ive never used tempeh, but ive been eating more vegetarian lately just because I like it. Im a big fan of tofu, so this sounds interesting. where do you get tempeh (a regular grocery store?) and how is it different than tofu?

      • rosie

        Regular grocery store should have it, depending on your area, of course. Trader Joe’s is cheaper for tempeh than my other local stores. It is a fermented soy product. I think it has a better texture than tofu (a bit more nutty in flavor and texture). I believe it is higher in fat than tofu, and it may also be more protein per serving. I definitely recommend trying it. It’s something different, and I used to like it better than tofu before I discovered dry frying.

    • Anonymous

      My favorite tempeh recipe: take tempeh and drop in trash. Personally I’ve never have found it prepared in a manner that made it enjoyable for me.

  8. Sigh

    After fighting with depression for over 15 years, it still never ceases to amaze me how quickly one comment can throw me into a downward spiral. I’m so tired of feeling like my mind and my emotions are “broken” from this.

    • Also Don't Get It

      My sympathies. I have a brother who’s been depressed pretty much ever since puberty, and I’ve watched him go up and down and mostly down, and just wished that there were fewer ….bits of stray negativity? triggers? that would bring him down.

      Daphne Merkin did a piece that was excerpted in the NYT Magazine, I think, about her lifelong battle with depression and it’s very honest and heartbreaking.

    • saacnmama

      I can relate! There were several really tough things I went through when I was younger that might easily have thrown someone into depression, but I never really got depressed until my husband left me. I think that somehow broke through a barrier and now, as you say, I can find myself in that downward spiral very quickly and easily.

  9. AFT45

    Weird question. For the past couple of days, my n!pples have been incredibly sensitive. The only other time this has happened to me was when I was pregnant. I’m post-menopausal, so it is not that. Any ideas on what this is? How to treat?

  10. Lynnet

    I’m sick, I think I’ve made my boss angry because I talked too much in a meeting, my co-workers angry because a joke fell flat, and I’m not going to get to go home anytime soon. Unless I throw up or faint, either of which seems like a possibility at the moment. Can this week just be over already?

  11. Bonnie

    This bag seems huge. If I have a big bag, I always end up stuffing in much more than I need and hurting my back.

  12. Thomas

    This bag seems huge. If I have a big bag, I always end up stuffing in much more than I need and hurting my back.

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