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Weekend Open Thread: Madewell

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denim shell with ruched detail at waist

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Hunting for something to wear with loose, flowy pants that veers away from PJ territory? Someone (a reader here, if I'm remembering correctly) was just saying that she found that a denim shell is the best thing to wear with those pants because it adds a bit of structure while keeping it casual and fun. This Madewell top looks great, and is on a pretty great sale. I like that there are no buttons to gape or give that “peekaboo” effect that some of the vests do. I could also see the top being great with a maxi skirt.

The top was $98, but is now marked to $49 at Nordstrom, with lots of sizes left. There's a similar option in linen, also marked down (and whoa, Madewell has a TON of denim shells available right now!)

If you don't like the ruching here, there are a lot of similar pieces. I like these at Nordstrom: Favorite Daughter, Ted Baker, All in One, and Yumi, as well as these at Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, and Gap.

Sales of note for 9/4 (Happy Labor Day — see our big roundup!)

143 Comments

  1. Oh, I remember the popular girl circa 1997 having a top like this…anyways. I’ve been applying for jobs lately and occasionally an employer app system will disclose that they use AI to scan and rate/rank your resume and that you can opt out of such scanning if you want. This particular disclaimer says that the score will read “Not Available” if you choose not to permit the AI scanning. I can see the scanning/declining cutting both ways. Any advice from anyone in HR which path to choose as an applicant? (And yes, my resume is loaded with keywords, but there are a million synonyms possible and I’d appreciate a human who understands synonyms reading my resume.)

    1. I don’t think a human will set eyes on it if you opt out. You’ll just go immediately to the discarded pile.

      1. Yep, cutting your nose to spite your face. You can hate AI all you want but companies don’t.

      2. I also had a job search recently, and I felt like ticking that opt-out box would indicate “I’m a high-maintenance employee.”

    2. my instinct, your resume will disappear into to the ether as HR sorts resumes by their AI score and “not available” will be the bottom if it shows at all.

  2. I currently have a 2010 Toyota RAV4 with around 140,000 miles on it. Recently dumped a bunch of money into it, so fingers crossed it should last for a few more years. I have a daily highway commute with dangerous drivers and two teenagers who will both have their licenses in the next 1-3 years. Thoughts/opinions re: getting a Corolla Cross or new RAV4 as an additional car? My thinking is that I’d take that to work and the older vehicle would be for any of us to use around town. My only hesitation is wondering if the newer car should be the one the teenagers use because of updated safety features.

    1. I’d have the teenagers use the newer car. While they should 100% still use mirrors/check with their eyes not a camera/etc. the additional ‘training wheels’ on the new car will likely keep them safer and be more helpful for them vs. you.

    2. I vote that you have the teens drive the old car so if/when they buy their own first cars they’re not accustomed to relying on the safety features that may or may not be present in their future cars. Also worth considering whichever car has better gas mileage should probably be the one driven more (meaning you take the newer one to work).

      2. Counterpoint: Many of the safety features missing from a 16 year old car are legally required today or very common in recent models. Assuming OP doesn’t buy the top trim level for this new car, her kids probably will have the same features in any future car they drive.

        1. This is misleading. “Legally required” does not mean older cars need to be retrofitted to have those features.

    3. We recently upgraded our old Subaru to a Hyundai Tucson and I really appreciate the safety features, especially blind spot detection. I’m not a big fan of the argument that safety features make you less careful – hasn’t been true for me pretty much anywhere in life. It just provides an extra layer of protection. A lot of people argue that oh if you use a lifejacket for your toddler, you won’t supervise them at the pool, but I do both, just like I check mirrors and over the shoulder and still appreciate the blind spot beep.

      1. I’ve alway read that statistically people do tend to compensate for safety features. But your way is better!

      2. I think it does matter whether you learned with the safety features or not. I have noticed that teen drivers seem to use the safety features as a primary source of information, while I use them as a backup.

    4. We have a Corolla Cross hybrid and are in the process of buying a RAV4. If you are deciding between the two, I would go with the RAV. When we bought the Corolla Cross two years ago it was significantly cheaper than a RAV hybrid. For the 2026 model year, you can’t get a Corolla Cross hybrid AWD any cheaper than the base model of the RAV AWD (now only available in hybrid). The RAV is significantly more powerful and is larger inside even though the exterior dimensions are hardly any different. The extra features you get on the higher trim level of the Corolla Cross at the same price as the base RAV are minimal.

      We are giving our Corolla Cross to our college kid. I do like the Corolla Cross for a newer driver because it feels and handles like a smaller car, even if it actually isn’t. But if we were buying her a new vehicle this year, I’d still buy her a RAV.

    5. Doesn’t really answer your question about which car your teens should drive, but just as a heads up, the backseat in the Corolla Cross is tiny. We recently had one as a rental car, and while it was otherwise a fine car, my average sized 7 year old even noted how cramped the backseat is.

    6. I would not let a teen drive a car without a backup camera and blind spot warnings. I would prefer pedestrian detection and auto-braking for collision avoidance as well, but I would turn off the feature that wrests the steering wheel from the driver’s control because for me it interferes with safe driving more than it helps.

      The feature that is inexplicably on my older base model Prius but not my new higher trim-level Corolla Cross is parking sensors. Those are very helpful for a teen.

    7. I’m of the unpopular opinion that the teenagers can learn to drive on the older cars. It isn’t the 1990s, where older cars lack airbags and seatbelt tensioners; modern cars are quite safe all around.

      There is a value to learning without the extra help of alarms and cameras and such; it teaches them to observe their environment, not what the car tells them about their environment.

      More importantly, consider the scale of potential harm. If your commute is a dangerous highway commute, extra features can save your life; those features would stop the teens from getting into a fender bender on their way to school. You can fix a bumper that got a little smooshed because the kid doesn’t have a backup camera; you can’t fix a highway fatality.

      2. What I am worried about with teen drivers is pedestrian accidents, which the safety features can help prevent. My teen driver also has a highway commute.

        1. +1. Teens are driving with cell phones on extremely fast roads around here, including the highway. There’s the pie in the sky version of what you hope they learn on an older car and then there’s the reality.

      3. Wholeheartedly agree to all of this. It worked out well for our own now-college kid; they are the only new employee at their job authorized to drive the manual work vehicle because none of their peers even knew what that third pedal was for. The driving qualification comes with extra pay.

      5. I kind of agree, but the reason backup cameras exist is more to help avoid hitting children, who often aren’t visible in a rear view mirror than it is to help avoid denting a bumper. If the risk was only to property, I don’t think they’d be legally mandated and I’d be more inclined to agree with your take.

        But I do think teens do not need features like lane control unless they have a long commute.

  3. The above post is timely. I last looked for a job a WHILE ago and found my current position through just being friendly enough with the opposite side of a deal team to discuss that I was looking for another job. The job has changed a lot since I started, but the employer has been the same.

    Can anyone catch me up on how job searching has changed in the past 10ish years? Do people use LinkedIn? Lunch with everyone in your network in case they have a need or know of one? IDK how you even do this now that doesn’t feel like yelling into the wind. I guess everyone uses a neutral-named (not “spicygal98”) gmail.com address (vs hotmail or g-d forbid AOL).

    1. your way is still the most effective way IMHO – people who know your work wanting to hire you or refer you. And, quietly letting old colleagues or trusted current colleagues know that you’re looking.

      1. This is how DH and I each landed jobs in the last year after being at our previous employers for 12 and 14 years a piece. We’re elder millennials (’84 babies) and both feel that LinkedIn is useful but not a be all/end all. I like it for doing research on companies and looking for warm leads/contacts I’ve lost track of but pop up in interesting places. DH did apply to his previous job on Linkedin and got it, so I think it’d be wrong to fully write it off – it is a good repository for live listings, but you have to ignore the “9287450234 people clicked apply!” stat because you can click apply or you can actually submit to apply.. and those are very different stats (as reported from my HR team).

        I actually found my job most recent job on LinkedIn, realized it was for a very good, close client, and then reached out directly. They didn’t know I was looking but the personal relationship was close enough that reaching out was a very, very warm call/conversation and I had an offer in 30 days.

    2. I had to job search a couple of years ago after being laid off from my previous job where I was for 20+ years.

      I used LinkedIn to find job posts and applied directly on company websites. I also used the site hiring.cafe to find job listings.

      I did set my LI profile to “open to work” and I had recruiters contact me. I got interviews out of a few of them.

      Ultimately, I got my new job by talking to a former coworker. She passed along my resume to another group at her company that was hiring.

      I lurk on some recruiting subs and it seems like the biggest issue these days is people spamming job posts and applying for 100s of jobs using AI, even if they aren’t qualified. It seems like a lot of garbage to sort through. Given that, I think it’s a numbers game and you should apply for jobs quickly when you see it posted.

    3. Networking is the only way to get an interview now, and often that’s not even enough. If you only apply on line, even through the employer’s own system, you will be competing for attention with at least 500 other applications and will get screened out by AI.

    4. LinkedIn is where you mostly build presence which most job seekers are required to have. There are just so many unemployed people at the moment that companies have their pick of people. In my wider circle of people currently on the market, at all levels and across the country, even networking is hard. You essentially need to be an ideal, near perfect match and it will still be hard.

    5. I’ve had the pleasure of having to job search a few times in the last decade. Yes networking is great, but most of my job offers have come from an application for a job posting I found on LinkedIn or Indeed. This may depend on factors like how senior you are, how specific your skillset is, whether you’re willing to relocate (and I’m on the more specific as a senior lawyer/in-house specialist). Do both, but don’t let the “putting in applications for known open roles” fall behind in the name of networking.

  4. How do you manage email? I’m a law firm partner. I have many days a month when I am in meetings or calls (sometimes unexpectedly) for 5+ hours a day. My inbox will get out of control and it’s so hard for me to get through it, respond, add to to-do list, delegate, etc. I am convinced that someone out there has email figured out. My firm is small so I have a fractional assistant who cannot keep up with email herself, so I need something that I can do, not rely on a system or someone else to handle. I am willing to paying <$1k/year out of my own pocket if my IT will clear a system if it is actually helpful especially for storing and searching. My firm uses Outlook.

    Things I have adopted that help: try to read email within one business day, even on horrid days. Confirm receipt and calendar follow up. Delegate as soon as possible. Implement a booking software tool so clients can find time to talk without waiting. When I'm back from a multi-day meeting, doing a first pass where I sort by "from" instead of "date" to mass-folder/delete email chains I don't need, then sorting by date and working bottom up, adding to my calendar based on priority. (Sorting by conversation doesn't work for me, too many side emails and forwards). I am still regularly feeling underwater for email. Clients aren't complaining, my actual deadlines are not in danger, but I don't feel good. Tips?

    1. do you block time on your own calendar? If my week is getting out of control I am liberal with this to protect my head-down email & work time.

      And if clients can DIY-schedule things that can sometimes backfire, in that it cuts down on that specific type of email, but at the risk of them jumping on your calendar for something that you might have asked to speak about in a day or two.

    2. Interested in others’ solutions too – I’m definitely looking for ways to get better here.

      If you don’t have an admin handling your calendar, filter the calendar invite and use your keyboard shortcuts to buzz through those quickly in the reading pane without opening the email (shift+f10+c+c+enter to accept, adjust the last c accordingly to tentative or decline).

      If I’ve been away for a day or more and a thread was busy, I do switch to conversation view – which I otherwise hate – just to make sure I get all the context on a discussion at once. Your alternative also seems to solve for that.

      I have a folder for Read-but-more-action-needed. That is where I throw things that aren’t my immediate priority and that I am totally caught up on the activity on, but will eventually need me to do something. I filter messages there as I review through my unread email, then come back to them at the end to deal with.

      I ask Claude, which has an M365 connector to skim my teams messages and Outlook inbox and folders within Outlook to identify any messages within the last X time period that I have left unresolved and that need a response from me. It actually does a pretty good job on busy days – will flag which i haven’t responded to but it thinks doesn’t need a reply vs. those that probably do. Can also track across multiple format (e.g., a teams message was sent and then a calendar invite was put on my outlook schedule on the same topic and same people).

        1. You have to play with the prompts a bit, and customize copilot so it knows what’s important to you, who your boss and peers are, important projects or clients. But once you do that, it is very helpful. I came back from 6 work days of vacation recently and asked it to give me a prioritized list of action items and what to read and understand based on the last two weeks of emails, and it did a great job. I did click through all the hundreds of emails eventually, but copilot’s “1 hour catch-up” was spot on.

    4. I’ve made peace with letting go of any notions that I will ever be an inbox zero person or create a workable management system other than hoarding email. I normally spend thirty minutes each morning planning my day and running through the prior days emails to make sure that I did not miss anything. During this time, I hide my status from being online. I also have routine check ins with those that routinely email me to run through all pending topics. But actual sorting and organizing only happens sporadically (e.g., at the end of project).

    5. Convincing your firm to switch to Gmail will make your life so much easier. Scheduling emails to send later in the week, scheduling emails to come back to your inbox at various times, and having a search function that actually works are all major upgrades.

    6. I don’t go to sleep until the inbox is dealt with. Some days it is brutal, but it avoids any snafus.

  5. If you have purchased a shoe from Instagram or social media ads, like a brand you can’t find in the store – how was the experience? Find any you love or hate?

  6. Well, I stopped wearing mascara and Gen Z was right that it was aging me. And I’m glad because it’s so much easier to wash my face and be gentle around the eye area.

    1. Tubing mascara is good. I look much better with it, I suppose we’re all different.

    3. I use a brown mascara to keep it from looking harsh. No way I would go without mascara at all. I tried the tubing but don’t like how it goes on. Sticking with Maybelline.

    4. I’m surprised. I think eye liner is aging but mascara is often the opposite. As you age, hair gets more gray and more sparse. I’m already a dark blonde. When I don’t fill in my brows and swipe some brown/black tubing mascara, I look like the white walker in GoT. I also notice in my friends of similar age that brow and mascara is often the difference between looking done vs washed out. Lipstick or even foundation doesn’t matter much but scraggly brows and no lashes is rough.

    5. I’m only 36 but this makes me feel so out of touch. Whenever I see women who are obviously wearing makeup but not mascara the only thing I can think is “oh, she forgot to do her mascara.” It looks so strange and unfinished to see a full makeup look without it to me.

  7. I found out through the news that my friend might be a millionaire due to her husband’s stock options. Good for her! I’m quietly watching for the lifestyle changes lol. So far it’s just the addition of regular manicures. Well, and talk of buying a property to Airbnb in an area where airbnbs are illegal. What would you do? I’d keep it quiet for sure … maybe eventually retire a bit earlier.

    1. Are we talking seven figures or eight figures? And even still there’s a lot of room in between… I’m a [low seven figure] millionaire on paper at 40 and every dollar we have is put to work in a deliberate way. Honestly, we should have a little more fun than we do but… whatever.

      But, if I had a $10m windfall? I’d have 10% of fun (house, car, vacay, whatever) and then put the rest to work so I don’t have to!

      1. Yeah $1m is really not that much these days. I’m a low seven figure millionaire and we’re comfortable but nowhere near throwing money around with abandon.

        If we got a $5m (post-tax) inheritance, we’d probably save $2M, put $2M towards a really nice vacation home in the area where we go every summer and then spend the rest on upgrading general travel and experiences. I don’t care about cars and I don’t want to upgrade our primary home, it’s already bigger than I’d like.

      2. Yeah, I’m a low seven figure millionaire on paper (42), but most of that is in retirement savings and investments that I don’t intend to liquidate any time soon. I guess if I suddenly had vested stock options that gave me an extra million, I might sell some and make a few small lifestyle changes, but more likely I’d stash it in diversified investments or my kids’ 529s. Cash flow is what matters for my day-to-day. $5M windfall would be my minimum to make any significant adjustments to my normal life beyond some home maintenance and an extra vacation or two.

    2. Sigh. The only “illegal” Airbnbs are in places that have under 30 day rental restrictions. You can still buy and rent for longer short term stays without running afoul of these laws.

    3. What does a millionaire mean?

      Asking because we are for sure millinaires due to company stock ($1.4m after tax windfalls; we paid a lot in taxes on the stock) but like…that’s not enough for us to stop working or anything. We did a home Reno that took some of it. We fortified our 3 kids’ college savings. We put $500k into our retirement funds.

    4. My favorite place to blow money is on travel. Better seats, better hotels, better rental cars, etc. I don’t share much about my travel outside of a tiny handful of friends, so most people won’t notice.

    5. If in your friend’s position? Provably nothing different, since this sounds like a paper only, barely millionaire situation.

      If I got a full million handed to me tomorrow, free and clear? I would pay off my mortgage and student loans, replace our oldest car, complete some larger home repairs, hire some interior redecorating done, hire some landscaping done, and put the rest in a brokerage account for fun money.

      If we are talking a larger amount, like ten million or more? Retire and move abroad to some idyllic small town that might not actually exist outside my imagination. Set up a studio to accommodate all my hobbies and make it open for others to join in, and generally become a benevolent eccentric.

    6. I have been considering what I will do with an anticipated inheritance, which is a similar windfall. The amount will likely be between $500K and $1M. I want something tangible that, every time I see it, will make me think fondly of this parent. The tentative plan is to put a roof on and paint my house (probably close to $100K), pay for some very expensive landscaping projects that will bring me joy (up to $80K, I’m guessing) and invest the rest in a dividend-paying stock. Then, every time a dividend check shows up, I’ll think, “Awww, thanks, Dad.”

      2. I’d maybe add a piece of art or something tangible you can take with you if you ever move homes.

    7. She’s not a millionaire until she exercises those options. My husband had some options in a company that seemed stable and whose stock price was steadily rising. He hung onto them instead of exercising them at the peak because he was sure their value would keep going up. Then the stock price tanked by 98 percent. The total value even at the peak was not something most of the rich folks here here would consider significant, but we were young and poor and the money would have made an enormous difference to us at that time. His optimism (and, quite frankly, a little bit of greed) left us with nothing.

    8. Two years ago my company (early employee) IPO’d. At the time our net worth was around $1.5m (mostly our home and retirement accounts). Now we have $100m liquid and another $150m in stock. Here are the things we have done: bought a second home ($6m), done extensive interior design and landscaping projects at our principal residence ($1m-ish), started traveling premium economy (if with our kids) or business (if alone), and staying at super nice hotels when we travel. I don’t worry about what I spend, but I’m not buying designer bags, shoes, or clothes. My hair, makeup and jewelry are mostly the same – I do not feel like I look expensive but I keep trying. We are also on track to donate $500k+ per year to charitable causes. We’re trying really hard to keep our kids “normal” so we did not move to a fancier neighborhood or buy flashy cars.

      1. I was curious where those numbers in the below thread came from. This is very cool! Are you still working? How do you select charities?

        1. Yes, both still work full time. We donate to the same charities we always did, just on a bigger scale.

    9. I’d stop working, figure out how much of it I need to invest to set up me, my kid, and his kids for life, and I’d give the rest away.

  8. Inspired by the question of “what would you do if you were a millionaire”: what’s your net worth and age? Include any other details you see fit, but feel free not to.

    I just have an intuitive sense that there is a relatively high percentage of later career professionals here who are past the millionaire threshold as we head towards retirement. But maybe I am wrong.

      1. This is where I aspire to be at 52! I’m at 5.6M at 47 and hopefully have a few high earning years ahead. Zero family help, no partner/husband contributing, just all myself (and raising one kid solo). It’s been a grind with many late nights after my kid is asleep. What does your life look like with 10M? Did you stop working? Of course a lot of this depends on what is invested and growing vs home equity, but once I have 6-8M invested, I’m done working. Only about 1/2 of my net worth is invested in the markets right now (too much is tied up in equity in two properties).

    9. 5.3M at 39 and 45. When we got married in 2019 and combined assets I think we were at like 1.4 so it’s compounded quickly with two high incomes and a lot of savings. The last few years have been amazing for the stock market and I’m not confident the trend will continue.

      1. Similar stats here. I was starting to feel behind from the other comments on this thread.

    11. I Only have my combined net worth with my husband. We are
      42 with a net worth of 4M. $1M of that is post tax Roth.

    13. ~2.8M if you include home equity, ~2.2 if you don’t. That’s joint with my husband and we’re both 40. We consider ourselves “coastFIRE” – we both plan to work for at least 20 more years and he will probably work far longer than that if health permits, but we no longer feel like we need to throw every spare dollar at savings. We still save but we also take the bucket list trips.

    14. I think there are a lot of women in their 30s and 40s posting here who are multimillionaires because mom and dad paid for college and then they and their spouses did stints in biglaw and they bought houses in expensive markets whose values exploded (possibly with parental assistance on the down payment).

      Regular person here. We didn’t hit $1M in net worth until we were over 40 because we had to pay for our own schooling after scholarships and we have normal jobs and we bought the wrong house so it didn’t appreciate as much as houses in every other neighborhood in the whole freaking country.

      1. I posted my number in the 3m above, but my husband and I paid our ways, work middle of the food chain corporate jobs, and I’m still not sure we’re money ahead on houses outside of our own equity paid in. The only real secret sauce has been working full time since 21, investing in our 401ks and living under our means. We both made employer jumps in our 30s to translate a decade of stable experience into better salaries and RSUs.

        We don’t have fancy degrees or loaded parents, we just have two decades of consistency with market luck and one good mid-career jump.

      2. You can just read about other women’s lives without needing to construct a big narrative about why your life is different that denigrates them. You aren’t a lesser person based on your net worth, and you don’t need to reassure yourself you’re “regular” or “normal” by suggesting others aren’t. You can just answer the question or scroll past it if you don’t want to.

      3. Very highly paid people have more money than people with regular jobs whether or not their parents gave them a leg up, or whether they even had parents to rely on (I know very successful people who did not).

        1. Agreed. I posted above, I had a big job for several years and saved a ton bc I didn’t have time or energy to spend anything. Went to a state school that was not a flagship, had student loans, and no parent help w a down payment. Just living in a tiny studio, driving an old car until it literally died on the highway, and not going on expensive bachelorette trips in my 20s.

      4. I’m also sure there’s a lot of parental help in these comments since the board overall skews very high-income, obviously.

        1. Idk, man, I’m one of the folks above. I had a scholarship for college that covered everything but about $5k and books each year. My parents paid for books and anything I couldn’t make over the summers. I went to law school and paid all $300k in student loans back by myself over the first 5 years in practice. They did not help with cars or housing after high school, other than giving me $5k when I closed on my first townhouse and my dad doing free handyman work for me until he physically couldn’t. Definitely no help with down payments. Other major gifts included $15k for my wedding and $5k when I graduated college to bridge moving to my new city. They housed and fed me while I was studying for the bar; no bar trip here. So some help, for sure, but a pretty middle class level of help because we are a pretty middle class family.

          They did give me a much bigger form of privilege, though. They are stable, boring people with a happy, healthy marriage, a budget, and a real passion for education. They follow medical directions, and they are honest with me about their prognoses. They work hard, and my mom can make housework or errands a party, even after a long day of work. They’re both optimists, but realistically so. One drinks, but barely, and the other now doesn’t because it’s contraindicated by medications. They have an estate plan, and everyone in it knows who is getting what.

          It has removed a lot of the family drama I have seen other friends go through as adults, and I think that is what has allowed me to focus on work and building a career. I don’t think we talk enough about the privilege of being raised by mature adults. Whatever your income, as you’re thinking about what you can give your kids — the gift of being open, honest, kind, and responsible is better than money.

          This made me verklempt writing it out! I have to go call them now to tell them I love them.

          1. That is lovely, and I feel the same about my parents. I think the biggest thing I’ve learned from the internet (including this s1te) is how lucky I am that my family and my husband’s are full of functional adults whom I enjoy spending time with.

          2. This is so insightful. I hadn’t thought of these benefits of a healthy family. Thank you.

          4. My parents are also stable and boring and I thank God for it. Human brains can only absorb so much stress, and I’m sure that NOT having to deal with as much familial chaos has helped me make good life decisions, including financial ones.

          5. My parents were educated homeowners and I was in the gifted program. They divorced and my mom worked two jobs to take care of me and my brother. I was able to go to college on a full scholarship. I am a lawyer . . . but both of my parents were alcoholics and so was I. Now sober for three decades, I see how our education was protective but my wealth accumulation was impacted by the dysfunction.

      5. Possibly. My husband and I are 42, both veterans, we enlisted out of high school. The military paid for college, so that’s how we escaped debt free, and with work experience and security clearances that insulated is from the Great Recession. VA loan for our first house (which we still live in). We have 3 kids, and my husband was a government employee for 20 years, so not super high salary, and lots of expenses. We started saving for retirement at 18 with military paychecks, and have made responsible financial choices and done good work to move up the ladder. Neither of us has needed or asked for financial help from our parents for anything, although my dad has contributed low 5 figures, cumulatively, to the kids’ 529s.

        Now, we both definitely were born on at least 2nd base with stable middle class families and college-educated parents who raised us well and would have been a safety net if we needed it, and I am thankful for that…but the financial success is our own. Net worth right around $2M (excluding home equity), because my husband is launching a business and we took out a significant loan for startup costs.

      6. I’m not sure why it matters.

        I’m a regular person as well. My networth at 65 is ever so slightly over 1m — and only hit that amount due to the recent run up in market, but I have a pension that’s fairly safe. Alledgedly my house has value, but that’s only if I find a buyer, which I’m not sure would be easy or fast.

        Paid for my own schooling, and paid for both my kids’ schooling so they at least have a slight leg up, my first house sold for a huge loss and we were lucky to unload it when we did, no to very little parental help, etc. etc. But none of that has any baring on anything.

      7. My parents did pay for fancy private college and I’m hugely grateful because it was a wonderful experience, but I’m not sure it actually had that much financial impact because I had full tuition merit scholarship offers at very good private colleges (not Ivy, but one step down from that) and also think I would have turned out fine going to Flagship State U on a full ride. You can get into top law schools if you have good grades from a State U and a high LSAT score. I had no support from my parents post-college; I paid for law school with a merit scholarship and earnings from summer/part-time jobs. I do think there’s luck in where we ended up, particularly with the law school merit scholarship, and luck was actually a bigger factor than my parents’ help with college. But I will also say we lived incredibly frugally during the Big Law years – I drove a 15 year old car and shopped at Old Navy. People at work made fun of me and kept harassing me to buy a designer handbag, but we banked about $500k in six years in a VHCOL area and then we moved to a LCOL area that money bought us a nice house + major renovations in cash. It’s a privilege to work in Big Law for sure, but also the majority of Big Law associates don’t live as frugally as we did, so I feel like we do deserve some credit for how much we saved during that time.

      8. Wow you are so much better than me. Such a better person. Such an inspiration. Where do I send my worship donation?

          1. You’re confused, the original comment was insulting and unnecessary. You go touch grass.

          3. Shockingly, multiple comments can be insulting and unnecessary! And the one I replied to certainly was. Like reading a hot take from a 15 year old.

            And yes, when things are lame, we’re still calling them lame.

    15. around $6M, 42. Roughly $3.5M is general long term investments, $2M 401ks, $500k in house. I think around $50K at the moment in HSA, which we switched to a few years ago and use as an investment vehicle for health care needs when we’re older, and cashflow our medical care ourselves.

      I want an active, expensive retirement as long as I can, and my family runs to 90+ longevity, so no plans for a super-early retirement here.

    16. 650k, 38

      This is the combined net worth of me and DH, we don’t have separate finances.
      I felt pretty good about this until looking at some of the other responses, ha! Well done everyone.
      DH is a SAHD, we’ve paid for private school for 9 years and counting, we give a full 10% of our income each year …so I guess that’s where all our money has gone. Oh well, can’t take it with you.

      1. I think you should be very proud of you! Being able to make the choices that are right for your family when you have children in the home is the height of financial freedom. And good on you for giving 10% away — that’s something we need to get better organized around over here.

      2. I hope you still feel good about it, you’ve aligned your spending and lifestyle with your values, and I for one am very impressed by your charitable giving! I was trying to ramp ours up, but when we became a single-income family a couple years ago that was one of the places we cut back…you’ve inspired me to take another look at the budget.

      3. I posted above, I have one of the smaller NWs mentioned, but my dh was a SAHD as well. That was worth a million bucks right there. My kids are amazingly successful, much more so than I was at their ages, and it’s really from the strong foundation that he gave them.

    17. $1.6M, 45 single with no kids. I was super excited this year to get my 401k over 1M, which is obviously most of what I have. Great job to all the savers and investors!

    18. Age: 40
      Net worth: $120m (liquid plus real estate) + $150m (combo of unvested stock and unexercised stock options)

      1. 40k in Covid debt, 30k in IRA, 35k in credit card Covid debt, 1500 in cash. 57. I’m never going to be able to retire, and my parents are mad at me for not making decisions they decided I should make (but never helped me in any way). So nothing to look forward to but a rented room in someone else’s house.

        1. I assume Covid debt means you were unemployed in 2020, but hopefully you currently have a job and an income coming in as well as secure housing for the moment. It’s scary to face. I wish you the best and hope things look up and that you have some support from friends.

  9. Anyone purchase instagram-ad shoes? (Can’t buy in stores?) I’m being inundated with ads for “most comfy heels/wedges/flats ever” and curious on brands.

    1. no, but the more you pause and look at, the more you’ll get. Clearing your content does wonders on that. (looking at you, ‘take this to cure your cortisol problems’ influencers.)

      1. Say more about clearing my content? (I made the mistake of clicking on an AI generated household pet post on the way to blocking the account, and now AI generated household pets are literally all Insta will show me aside from the accounts I follow!)

        1. if we’re talking Insta-
          go to your profile (face icon, bottom right)
          tap the three lines in the top left
          tap content preferences (scroll about halfway down the list to see it)
          tap reset suggested content

  10. Help me shop! I need a new wallet. What color would you pick? Black/navy/dark brown to hide discoloration? Light neutral? Bright color?

    1. I like to pick a bright, signature color. Something easy to find in any bag, and visible wherever I set it down. I’ve had great luck with Tusk NY. They do have classic neutral colors as well.

      1. On the topic of marks, the one I’m using currently I bought used around ten years ago, and it hasn’t shown discoloration or marks yet. It is metallic though, and doesn’t feel soft or delicate. It gets no special treatment (tossed in any pocket or bag to fend for itself among keys and my phone).

        My previous brightly colored wallet before that was a yellow one from Jack Georges, and the zipper gave out before it showed marks or discoloration. I don’t think Jack Georges still makes those, but to me it showed that tougher wallets are possible.

    3. I rarely need to get my wallet out (Apple Pay) so prefer a sturdy dark leather to something that will show any marks immediately.

    4. If left to my own devices I would always buy black or brown, but my daughter gave me a red wallet a few years ago and I love it.

  11. Hey friends – is LinkedIn premium worth the cost if you’re job searching? I’m really hesitant to pay for a subscription ($20/month with promo) but also really want a new job and have not had success in the past several months.

    1. haven’t found it worth it at all. One thing I was of course curious about were seeing who viewed your profile, but recruiters pay a higher fee and still visit your profile incognito.
      Then they indicate how many others have applied to a job – not especially useful. And there is an AI thing scoring your qualifications against the posting – mildly helpful if your profile is in need of tailoring for the keywords in jobs that you are targeting – but a free trial month is enough for that.

  12. I’m starting a new job soon and have about 10 days off. Traveling isn’t an option. Hit me with your suggestions for things I can do to make my first month on the new job easier—I’m anticipating stress!

    1. Knock out all your routine visits now – dentist, eye doctor, oil change, etc.

      1. I’d try to front-load the time off with prep – like, will new job have the same dress code or do you need to try on more or less formal combinations from your closet? Getting ahead on meal planning / batch cooking (I don’t mean spending all day in the kitchen, just making triple batches if you’re cooking something that freezes well).

        Personally there’s no way I’d get into the dentist on short notice anyway. But if you have an FSA, for at least some employers it’s use or lose by your end date (not year end) if you leave, so make sure you don’t lose out!

        Then spend time at the end staycationing – long bike rides? Museums? Leisurely patio lunches? Etc.

    2. Staycation – go to museums, get outside every day, see old friends, take a class, go a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try. Breaks between jobs are rare and precious. Find a way to enjoy this.

    3. If you do workout classes, like spin or OTF or whatever, go to the midday class. It’ll be half as full and twice as fun.

    4. Hit the dentist, get your hair colored if that’s your thing, knock out all your other annual health appointments.

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