ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Midi Shirtdress

A woman wearing a blue and white printed long sleeve dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

The geometric print on this Maggy London dress is what initially caught my eye, but the gorgeous pleated skirt is what really sold me.

As usual, I would recommend swapping out the self-tie belt for something more substantial. (If you’re feeling bold, this cognac belt with a gold dragon buckle is more chic than the description suggests…)

The dress is $178 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 0-18. 

Sales of note for 12.5

282 Comments

  1. I’m 32 and have relatively clear skin except I get large zits 1-2x a month. I think it’s hormonal; I usually get one when ovulating and occasionally one on my period. They’re cystic and painful, and I woke up the other day wondering if this is something I just have to deal with or if acne medication could help. I use tret and am otherwise happy with my topical routine. It feels like something that oral meds might help with given they start from so deep under the skin, but I’d really appreciate others insights. I’ve never been on an oral acne medication and assumed it was for severe acne but maybe there’s hope? TIA!

    1. I added hero patches. When I feel it coming on (like you, 1x/month) I sleep with a patch two nights in a row and they’re gone before they get big and painful.

      1. I got a box of the kind with “micro needles” and they are more expensive but for me definitely more effective at that “feel something large and painful forming” stage

    2. Same age and same issues with my skin. When I feel one starting, I put one of those pimple patches on it and hope for the best. They tend to help it from getting too large and painful.

    3. You don’t need to suffer with these! I bet spironolactone would help a lot. My daughters and I all take it.

      2. Second! I actually went on spironolactone for another reason, but after I did, I literally never got another zit.

    4. Spirolactone is the answer. Patches won’t prevent anything. They can only help heal.

    5. My youngest had bouts of cystic acne that were incredibly painful. He did the meds from the derm which were very good; however, we worried about long term use. He now takes a tincture from the health food store aptly called Acne, and applies tea tree oil if one starts to surface. 6 years and counting. An eruption is rare now.

    6. I had this for years and tried all kinds of topical and oral medication and nothing worked for me. The only thing that made a difference for me was eliminating dairy, sugar, and diet soda. Might be worth a try to see if it makes a difference for you. So sorry you are going through this. It can be really painful.

    7. I used to get one giant zit on my left cheek before my period. I felt like there was a pipeline in my body extending from my ovaries directly to that small volcano that would erupt once a month. After kids, it went away naturally.

    8. I developed these in my 30s. Super painful! I haven’t had a single one since I eliminated dairy.

    9. Spironolactone is what stopped that nonsense for me! I wish I’d started taking it sooner.

    10. I can’t imagine adding in oral meds and all their potential side effects for one or two pimples per month but maybe I’m not appreciating the size of them?

      1. Cystic acne is scarring. Acne is a disease. There are a lot of people who don’t believe that at some level, but they tend to be people who have never suffered from acne. Chronic acne has been shown to cause psychological harm.

        To me, saying “it’s just pimples, why treat it?” is like asking someone who has arthritis why they take pain medication. It’s a matter of why you would want to spend your life in pain (and cystic acne is painful) rather than treating it.

        1. Totally hear you on the depth of harm and pain n of cystic acne.

          I’m saying 1 cystic pimple per month is not what I would consider to be worth oral meds, but I have a high bar for medications

          Your arthritis comparison in the context of this conversation is eye roll worthy but you do you.

      2. The size and pain and potential for scarring as you age. Embarrassing and potentially detrimental in image obsessed society. I want people at work listening to what I’m saying and not focused on a giant sore on my face. Spirolactone isn’t a new drug and actually had the benefit of helping reduce facial hair growth for me. Doses for this purpose are also very small compared to other uses.

        You clearly haven’t dealt with it and I would respectfully say not to be so judgmental.

        1. Adding on to say – spiro is actually a blood pressure medication, so it’s intended to be taken long-term. I’ve been on it for 5+ years now and it’s been life-changing.

  2. I am average height but have a long torso. Jumpsuits off the rack are incredibly uncomfortable – you know where. When I purchase a tall jumpsuit, the proportions are all off. Any long torso suggestions?

    1. I am 5’6″ with the torso length of someone 6 feet tall. Tall-sized jumpsuits from Old Navy are perfectly proportioned on me.

    2. Long torso here. I’ve had good luck with Vuori and Alice + Olivia for jumpsuit. Love the Vuori one for lazy weekends.

    3. Get a tall jumpsuit and take it to a tailor. Boden talls are TALL (5-10 here and I need them hemmed and/or shoulders take up.)

  3. Thank you very much for the really helpfull comments. My first doubt was about the suitcase and so I will take a soft one.
    Someone asked about the boat, it is a 39’ Dufour 390 ( A monohull) and yes bed linen is included. The sailing is expected to be quite chill at the begining of next Sept.

    I was thinking to carry my windstoper and not sure if my waterproof hiking pants will be useful. Do I need any other raincoat? I also have some diving booties and hiking sandals.

    1. Early September is beautiful on the Med, not what I would describe as quite chilly! Highs in the low 80s (F) and water still warm from summer!

      But for being out on the water I never regret having an extra layer handy, particularly at night if it’s breezy. I’d include a sweater or warm wrap.

      1. Thanks Cat, I was meaning chill=relax as someone asked about the type of sailing yest.

    2. I posted yesterday (mentioned bringing soft luggage / have chartered a lot). I’ve done some serious sailing in my day and have some pretty intense all–weather gear. Still, when I charter like this for vacation, I reach for bathing suits, t shirts, easy sundresses, a sweat shirt, baseball hat and light rain jacket, an extra pair of shoes (I hate wet shoes)… that’s basically all I pack. So, yes to a light rain jacket and pass on the waterproof pants. I’m unfamiliar with your on-shore destinations/terrain but hiking sandals may be an easy add. I’ve also brought a beach towel as those were not provided, but linens and bath towels were. Also, grab a lanyard for your sunglasses to hang around your neck (a lot of looking up, down, around on a boat and sunglasses are lost constantly overboard!) and a watertight bag/dry bag to transport your cell phone and other important items when going to shore (assuming you’ll be in a dinghy at some point which can get a little damp).

      Are you going through a charter company? A lot of them have “what to pack” type information on their webs ites that might be helpful to you.

      The boat make itself is beautiful. Dufour’s have a great reputation and a 40-footer will be ample room. I’m so envious!

      1. I have chartered in the Adriatic in Sept (and am also a serious sailor) and this is exactly how I packed.

        2. I just want the OP to keep giving us updates on this trip because it sounds dreamy

        1. Thanks again to all of you. I have already checked some websites for “what to pack”but your comments are really practical and down to earth.
          I promise to write you back at the end of the trip.

  4. I don’t need a $240 belt… that belt is gorgeous.

    Any less expensive dupes out there?

    2. Question about belts. Are belts over dresses back? I keep seeing belts in jean loops and realize that is stylish again, and then I see belts that clearly aren’t meant to go with jeans but I never really see them in the wild or styled on influencers. I used to have a big red patent belt that I wore the heck out of in like 2006 with pencil skirts etc, so I get flash backs to that.

      TLDR: Big belts. Discuss.

      1. I think they’re on their way back. I see kids wearing giant jeans with big ugly belts, and I think that if fashion follows street trends, women will be wearing statement belts again pretty soon.

      2. I recently bought a wide wrap-style belt and have been wearing it over a couple of different dresses. I’m avoiding the stretchy, big-buckle versions I had in the early 2000s.

  5. I’m getting Botox for the first time tomorrow! I’m going to start with just around my eyes I think. Any tips for a first timer or things I should know? If it matters I’m 34, 3 kids under 3 so will definitely be lifting small children shortly after getting it done.

    1. I’ve never had any issues with lifting etc. I take it easy but normal stuff has all been fine.

      As to around the eyes – my derm told me she wouldn’t do under my eyes for safety reasons, so she just does the crows’ feet. Do others’ derms do under the eyes?

    2. Just don’t rub your face or exercise that day or the day after. I think you are also supposed to avoid OTC painkillers. Picking up your kids is fine. I usually wait to apply makeup until the day after. Just wash very gently and apply any products gently so you aren’t rubbing the area. You might have small bruises, you might not.

    3. Be open to what they advise. I get something other than Botox but my brain is failing me. Afterward they don’t want you looking down or lying down for long periods like gardening or napping.

    4. Definitely don’t rub and they say not to bend over or lie down for a few hours, but it’s unclear how much that matters. I wouldn’t do yoga or take a nap, but bending down briefly to pick up your kids should be fine.

    5. I’ve done it for years but always on my forehead not the eyes. They will usually do a couple above the eyebrows to lift them and the 11s but nothing closer to the eye sockets.

    6. In addition to the above-noted, make sure not to drink any alcohol 24-48 hours beforehand. I recommend taking a ice pack and icing the area while you are waiting and right before the injections, and afterwards if you have any soreness. I had a very awful black eye the first time I had my crow’s feet done years ago as the injector struck a small blood vessel. In hindsight I don’t think the clinic was all that reputable but I think if I’d followed the above-noted things would not have looked as bad. I’ve had it done many times since with no issue.

    7. Be open to what they think. For example, I went in thinking Botox, but they steered me to Dysport and that was a much better call. You also may find that it’s not just around your eyes but part of your forehead that achieve best results. In terms of aftercare, mine always advises avoiding activities where you’re looking down for long periods (like gardening) or heavy exercise or sleeping for a few hours afterward. Also, don’t expect immediate results. It takes about a week and a half or two before I start seeing a difference.

  6. What are your favorite ways to air fry vegetables?

    I am a lazy cook but love buying the pre-cut cauliflower, air frying for 10 mins at 400 and then topping with a sesame dressing. I either eat it as is or add to a bowl with rotisserie chicken and microwaved brown rice. Virtually no effort on my part but healthy and yummy!

    1. Oh that sounds nice! We have an air fryer function on our toaster oven but I really haven’t figured it out yet.

    2. I like to have a pan of cut up veggies (I have an air fry toaster oven combo) with a bit of Olive Oil drizzled over and taco season for flavoring. I had this to a rice or quinoa bowl with some avocado and protein and it makes a satisfying meal.

    1. well, VP isn’t alone in that a leadership change sometimes means the next tier down gets shuffled. It happens. Most people in this situation stay in the demoted role and immediately start looking, and then absolutely no one is surprised when they leave.

      1. +1 The mistake I’ve seen some people make in these shakeups is not taking the demotion. My dad was one of these, pride wouldn’t let him take the demotion since he thought he deserved the role. He severanced out and then his career was sort of a downward spiral after that.
        I was in one of these shakeups during covid that got me promoted to VP but my friend demoted from VP to director. They let him keep his pay which helped the situation. He took it like a champ, continued doing his job well and found a new role a couple years later.

    2. Better to control your own destiny. I wouldn’t quit without another job lined up, but he should start looking. At that level, it can take a while so you take the demotion in the meantime.

      1. This had a spouse go through this after a merger. It wasn’t great but everyone understood why he was looking.

    3. Anyone who is a VP at a F500 company is a grown-up who can figure this out himself, not rely on his wife’s friend’s online forum for advice. Also, being a VP at an F500 company, you know a new C-suite hire may clean house, so you should be prepared. Money in the bank, resume refreshed, with a reasonable lifestyle and debt load. The wife and, especially, the wife’s friend, need to chill.

    4. Agree with others that you need to quit posting this. There aren’t that many huge corporations that just got a new CFO, and since that’s my world, I am over 50% sure I know who you’re talking about, which is not a good thing. Stop making these posts.

      1. Especially when she shared his job titles ; time in role and former company! It’s shockingly easily to figure out if you are in that world. I would be furious- this is not your business to post about.

    5. thank you all for the advice – i guess i just thought senior officers couldn’t be forced out without severance. i asked kat to take down last night’s post since so many people thought i gave too much info; i’d hate to hurt my friend’s family.

      2. Maybe look at the demotion as a form of severance. He remains employed indefinitely & gets paid while he searches for another job.

        2. I have a friend going through this right now. she’s taking the “demotion” for a couple of reasons (it’s not really labeled a demotion, but it is)

          lifestyle: she will still make a decent salary for now, and can let go of a lot of the intense stress she’d been under, which was really affecting her family.

          strategy: it’s a lot easier to find a new job when you’re currently employed, and it also helps you negotiate the salary you want when you’re still making a decent salary. She will absolutely be looking for a new job, but it gives her time to be selective.

      3. The kind of million dollar golden parachute deals are for more senior than VPs – like just the CEO, or maybe other c-suite. And if it applied to you, you’d know – it’s a negotiated contract when they take the job

  8. Why are flight prices still so incredibly out of control? I have a family member trying to get a last-minute ticket for a two hour flight (family emergency) and the best she can find is $800 round-trip. That’s literally twice what it would have been a year or two ago. This can’t all be blamed on inflation.

    1. that’s what I had to pay for the same flight like 8 years ago so it sounds like you were unusually lucky prior!

      1. (oh and it was on a route with lots of competition – major carriers, Southwest, Frontier, etc)

      2. Yup. I spent $900 for a domestic flight last minute 14 years ago when my FIL had a stroke. Last minute flights have always been crazy. This is not new…

        1. I have gotten last-minute flights for way less than that at even less busy airports. I once got the last seat over Memorial Day weekend to Hailey, Idaho from San Francisco for $400 round trip and saw a family member just before she died. This was 7 years ago.

          1. Yeah it can be less if you get lucky, but it’s not unusual to pay a lot for a last minute flight and it’s not a new thing or because of inflation.

          2. That was a fluke. At some point, they sometimes lower prices just to get extra revenue on a flight that has seats. You never know.

    2. And lol, my family member just said the airline slapped a “low fare alert!” blurb on it.

    5. Flying on Saturday is still substantially cheaper than all other days. Or alternating airports where there is more competition. Or crappy flights.

      1. It is a Saturday flight between two major airports. She would come sooner but those are even more expensive.

    6. last minute flights are always expensive, and also just demand. TSA screening numbers this summer have mostly been higher than prepandemic levels. There’s just a lot of people flying (and fewer pilots/routes).

    7. Ohh that sounds super stressful – I’m sorry. Fwiw, that sounds unlucky to me – I bought several same/next day family emergency flights over the last year on a similar, about 2 hours, US, multiple carriers available, and the prices were only about 2X buying in advance? Like $150-250

      1. Exactly – that’s more what we expected, the traditional markup and not the sky-high one. I don’t think she’s going to make it in time.

        1. That sucks, I’m sorry
          Any chance there’s an earlier/cheaper bus or train route?

          Some airlines have a discount or fixed fare price for this situation – you usually have to call them. Google “bereavement fare policy” + any airlines you know cover the route.

    8. Last-minute flights, especially between somewhat random cities (i.e., not BOS-JFK or LAX-LAS), has always been pricy.
      This is the time when having a stash of frequent flier miles (or transferrable points, like Chase Ultimate Rewards, AmEx Membership Rewards, etc.) comes in really handy. Of course, award ticket availability is unpredictable and the points required as ballooned (good luck finding those round-trip 25,000 AAdvantage NYC-LAX tickets anymore), but using points when cash fares are high is the way to go.

      1. Yes I save award miles for this situation and use them for myself and family members who need last minute tickets.

    9. That’s about the amount it would have cost me to fly to my uncle’s funeral 5 years ago. Between that and the fact that the funeral was on a Friday–meaning I would have had to take 2 days off work–I didn’t go.

    10. Airlines use “dynamic” pricing meaning they use an algorithm to figure out the maximum amount customers will pay & then they charge that. They’ve gotten much better at this over the years, or rather the tech has gotten much better. You’re only going to get good pricing on flights no one else wants.

    12. Airline miles are worth their weight in gold for last minute flights- they don’t really increase in number of miles/flight close to the flight date. It’s worth checking if anyone has spare miles.

    13. I don’t know if this is feasible, but could your relative rebt a car one way and drive? Then get a one-way ticket back. I’m sure it’s not a good drive but if it’s at all feasible ( i.e. not Hawaii ).
      In a lot of cases, leaving today, Wednesday, would put you there by Saturday.

    14. Have you been in an airport lately? Have you seen how crowded they are? It’s demand.

      1. Yes I agree. People put off travel during the worst of COVID and are making up for lost time now!

  9. How long have cheap-looking stretchy beaded bracelets been a thing? My teen is obsessed but it just looks so junky to me. Like we had those knotted friendship bracelets but it was just a trip to Michael’s not $$$. And is it just a teen thing or do adults do this also? I stopped bracelets during COViD and now just have a basic running watch and earrings (real, but silver, so never spendy).

      1. I mean, I’m sorry you’re not having fun with your life, but I’m an adult with a little stack of friendship bracelets that I wear daily.

      2. 100% the school age trends are very local too. Mine roll their socks down along with half the kids in their class but I haven’t seen this elsewhere.

        1. Very much so. My suburban-ish kids recently spent a weekend with kids their age from a rural school district, and what is considered cool is … really far apart.

        2. My Berkeley kids hanging out with their Texas cousins was a huge culture shock for both sides!

          1. Share a bit more? I am in Texas and my kids have yet to meet their Seattle cousins. I’m so curious what the interactions will be like!

          2. To boil it down to the basics, the Texas cousins’ lifestyle is meant to show that you have wealth. The Berkeley lifestyle is meant to show you have very modest things and very modest needs. It’s more anti-consumer and individualistic. When in fact, my sibling in Texas and my myself and Berkeley have about the same level of wealth.

          3. It’s funny that you bring this up, as my relatives who live in the Bay Area in high school / college also are crazy wealthy and all their clothes are thrifted or Uniqlo basics with lots of graphic Tshirts.

    3. Literally forever. Cheap jewelry that is unappealing to adults in that age bracket is always a thing.

    4. I’m not a Swiftie, but the current beaded bracelets are in because of Taylor swift, but they’ve always been popular with kids and teens. It’s very much a thing right now to make these bracelets and trade them – just like we did back in the day.

      I wouldn’t wear beaded or woven friendship bracelets to my office, but I occasionally wear them on weekends. I’m 30 but think it’s fun still.

      But also – why bother if you think your teen’s jewelry choice is ugly? Teens always wear things their parents think are ugly. When I was a teenager brightly colored “silly bands” bracelets were popular (and often traded). My mom is still shaking her head that I buy ripped jeans.

      1. Seriously. Your teen wearing a bracelet you don’t like is not the hill to die on, OP. Choose your battles.

      2. 40 year old senior in-house lawyer here wearing the rainbow loom bracelet my daughter made me last night. I love it.

    7. To turn this super nerdy and political, Heather Cox Richardson talked about the swiftie bracelets at the DNC in a FB live last night and how it was cross generational.
      but this is also a “good for her, not for me” situation IMO.

      1. OK, I have never wanted to be like a Swifty but I do want to be like Heather Cox Richardson. Elastic bracelets have always driven me crazy, it’s like wearing a tight bra, I just can’t stand it but if I could be like Heather, I’m gonna get me some bracelets.

  10. Anyone have a protein shake they love that does not contain artificial sugars? Natural sugars/stevia are fine, it’s the artificial stuff I’m trying to avoid.

    1. Also, I have a powder that fits the bill, but I’m looking for already-made shakes. Thank you!

        1. I use the Tera’s Whey Simply Tera’s Organic Whey Protein Plain Unsweetened powder. The problem is that because it is unflavored, using it requires me getting out my blender or shaker, and that gets annoying if I’m in a big rush in the morning.

        2. Not who you asked, but I love the True Nutrition powder. It’s a great price, love the flavors I choose (they have so many) and the protein/calorie ratio is great too.

          1. Thanks, I’m the one who asked and I’ll give it a try. I already alternate between Tera’s Whey and the Pronativ whey protein.

    3. I like the Factor protein cold brew latte shakes (18 g protein, 100 mg caffeine). They taste really good. Sweeteners are monk fruit and coconut sugar. Fully vegan (almond milk, plus various plant proteins like pea and chickpea). I assume you have to buy them as part of your weekly meal delivery (their meals are also really tasty), but maybe you can buy separately.

    5. We bought some of the Ripple protein shakes that are good. I don’t like the aftertaste of Stevia or anything artificial. I use Truvani protein powder also, which has monkfruit.

  11. Pleasure share some of your recent good decisions that you were in the fence about doing but are glad you did them.
    Me:
    – Hiring a doula for the birth of our third baby. Best $2000 I’ve ever spent.
    – Stopped coloring my hair. I have natural black hair and was influenced by all the 2000s highlighting trends and then never got out of it. Until last year, I spent $400 on balayage a few times a year. DH said my hair was beautiful and suggested I stop coloring but I was nervous. I went back to my natural color this year and I’m so glad I did. I get compliments all the time, and save so much time and money.

    1. Ha! I’m the opposite – just turned 30 and I had never, ever dyed my hair in anyway. I got 9 foils of balayage and I am in love with it; so much so that I’m going to do more next time I go. It was maybe $120 for what I got.

      It brings back the natural highlights I used to get before I spent my summer indoors chained to a desk :) I love that it looks so natural and disguises some grays too.

    2. I stopped consuming any news online earlier this year after a friend said she stopped a few years back. I read print magazines and a weekly newspaper, and I watch the News Hour a few times a week. I actually feel like I am much more informed and significantly less anxious about politics. And this rule lets me skip the threads here where everyone fights, which is great!

      1. I like this! I remember reading back in the day that Tim Ferris’s kept a “low information diet” and felt great. What print sources do you read?

        1. I try to read a mix of sources I’m inclined to agree with and sources I don’t. Current list is: WSJ Weekend, Atlantic, Economist, National Review.

          Recently canceled NYT and New Yorker and added the WSJ and National Review — trying to get my head around more conservative (but mainline conservative) viewpoints prior to the election. I would like to add one more that focuses more on cultural stuff, if anyone has any recommendations.

      2. Oh but honey, we can fight about everything on here!

        Kidding. But not kidding. I collapse the politics threads most of the time too, and I am sure I agree with the majority viewpoint. The correct course of action just seems so obvious to me, it’s not like anyone’s talking points are going to change my mind, so why would I need the obnoxiousness in my life?

        1. Haha, for some reason I find the dumb fights, like the people being kind of mean to the woman who asked about the bracelets popular with teenagers, kind of entertaining, but the political ones are just a headache!

    3. — I was able to book a trip to spend some time with the sibling I don’t get along with and we get along a bit better now. We are both in a place now to acknowledge all the crap we have dealt with (and still deal with) from our parents. We still have nothing in common but it’s better than it was.
      — I decided that I need new friends and/or need to focus my friend group. Some people are just not worth it.
      — I went back on antidepressants.

      No surprise, #3 is related to #1 and #2.

    4. I stopped dyeing my hair and stopped getting manicures and pedicures. My natural hair color is really nice as it turns out. I have a gray streak that I love.

      I do my own nails now. I never saw the trip to the nail salon as a treat – it was just one more thing on my never ending list of to-dos. My nails became so thin from gel nails that I had to have them put “the powder” on them, and eventually acrylic nails on a couple of them. I just got off the merry go round and haven’t looked back.

      1. I have come to love doing my own nails. It’s my relaxation time on a Sunday afternoon. Sometimes I do it while I’m on the phone with my mom. And with practice, I’ve gotten really good at painting, so the salon no longer seems worth it to me.

      2. Thanks for sharing this! I feel like nails are next for me. Do you do anything with nails now?

        1. I take care of my own cuticles – I don’t cut them! Which has improved them a lot. I moisturize my hands a lot. For a while I was pretty good about using nail strengtheners but now that I’m more than a year out from getting gel nails, my nails are really strong all by themselves. I have to cut them pretty regularly these days because they get too long, and that absolutely wasn’t happening before.

          1. Ideas for hand creams that are not scented, not sticky, absorb quickly. I hate the feeling of clammy-cream hands and don’t like the idea of rubbing the not-yet-absorbed cream into my eyes or nose if I rub my face. TIA.

    5. Moved a relative with Alzheimer’s to a beautiful assisted living community the moment she suggested openness to the idea, even though I had previously thought she could age in place with supports. In hindsight, there was no way.

      I’m also getting a doula and I’ve been on the fence, but we paid the deposit and will hope it works out (I had actually posted here about it – on whether to get a doula when you’re not looking for the crunchiest birth possible). If anyone else is in this process, I highly recommend doing a meet-and-greet first. The doula who had the top rating on Yelp and the most perfect-sounding approach on her website was clearly not a fit for me the very second she opened her mouth (I had put in my inquiry that I was planning a hospital birth and the first thing she says is that hospitals are just out to make money on you and bully you into “interventions.”). Her cheapest package was over twice the rate for other doulas as well.

      1. Interesting! My hang up on getting a doula was exactly that, that I perceived doulas to be pushing home birth, home schooling and next thing I knew I’d be raising chickens in my backyard. The doula I went with supported all options and I ended up with a hospital birth at a midwife practice under OB supervision. I would not have known this option even existed were it not for the doula!

      2. My doula was a former L&D nurse at the hospital where I delivered and was the key to getting what I wanted out of a hospital birth, including the room with the tub. She attended c-sections for several moms in my childbirth class. Not at all crunchy and 100% about advocating for the mom’s wishes and safety.

        1. Ah I’m well past my childbearing heads but that would have been the kind of doula I wanted…..

      3. If health insurance was smart, it would cover Doula care for everyone, or like at least pay part of it. With both births I swear she was the calmest, smartest person in the room. for my 2nd the MD resident was asking her all sorts of questions to learn from her. my OB made it to neither birth in time, which really was not a big deal at all, we were just fine between the doula, rockstar L&D nurses and residents.

    6. I recently had my brows tinted for the first time. When I was younger, I had naturally dark brows but they have faded quite a bit in my 40s. I’m not good at remembering to use brow products consistently, so I thought I’d see if I liked having a tint. It was a subtle change but it made a big difference in looking awake and alive!

      1. It’s easy to tint your own brows and not very messy. Lashes are more difficult to do yourself, but I have that down now, too.

        1. What product do you use? My beloved Godefroy in Graphite was discontinued and I haven’t found a worthy replacement.

    7. Crossing my fingers that I’ll have an answer to this soon. My husband suggested we invest in some seriously nice kitchen knives, and I ok’d it, although I also think that what we have is sufficient for our needs as we are not professional chefs. They just arrived today and I’m actually pretty excited to try them out.

    8. My MIL kept pestering me about getting a laser facial. I initially ignored it, but finally told her very, very firmly to stop. In all caps.

      I’ve never expressed interest in something like face lasers. I’m a pretty average-looking middle-aged woman who lives in a city that makes even the very very pretty super self-conscious (hooray for Hollywood). Oh, and I’m also cash-strapped, since it’s the start of the school year and every activity needs a fee or a donation or just has their hand out because of “the children.”

    9. Took a severance package rather than white-knuckling it at work to save face and look as though I was departing on my own for a new job at some point between now and June. I’m now getting paid until next summer and have the time and space to breathe, sleep, go to the gym, and focus on projects and people that matter to me. It’s scary (and sometimes demoralizing) not having a job but I’m lucky to have a spouse who carries our benefits and a freaking year of pay.

  12. assuming this is actually for your friend and not your own husband, I would absolutely stop posting about this. I would be furious if my friend was posting my husbands job issues and details about his work history in a very public forum

      1. People aren’t as anonymous as you think. I’ve recognized real life acquaintances from fairly generic posts here. Someone who knows the friend’s husband could recognize it and the guy could get in trouble.

        1. I’ve seen someone say this a few times now and am terrified this is me…so without re-exposing the details that tipped you off, can you give a vague sense of what the posts were about?

          1. It was honestly just really basic stuff like job, location, vacation plans, etc. adding up and realizing over time that a couple of regular (named) posters were real life acquaintances. I have a good memory for this kind of thing and it sticks in my head without any effort. In my case the details weren’t so unique that it would have been immediately recognizable from any one post and it very much relied on the cumulative posting by people using a screenname. But there have been individual Anon posts where I’ve thought that “wow, anyone who knows this person will insantly know who they are” so yeah I think it’s unwise to think sharing lots of specifics is fine just because you’re ‘anonymous.’

          2. I figured out who a poster was because she said the same incorrect fact IRL and on here. Her posts were innocuous enough but that one tidbit made it all click in my brain.

        1. Yep. The good news is Kat (or Kate?) will delete comments with sensitive information like that on request.

          1. i’m the OP — horrified that i may have exposed him like that. i fudged the info a bit with years but wanted to convey the level of his job… anyway i asked kat to take it down.

  13. Promise I won’t post every day about this but updating about planning for a July/August 2025 trip to Italy. We have thousands of Hilton points from a deal and cc usage so are trying to stick to those hotels. Many nights at their hotels seem to in fact be sold out already vs. not released! Wild to me that this is the cause a year in advance. It’s causing me to potentially consider Rome, Naples then Florence instead of Venice because the Venice hotels seem totally booked. Any experiences to share in Naples or visiting Florence beaches greatly appreciated.

      1. Some nights are showing as available (say August 1st-3rd) but then some sold out (August 4-6th) then available again on the 7th which leads me to believe they’re actually sold out. But you’re right that I should call.

        Just kicking myself that I didn’t start planning sooner. Might mean staying at a hotel without a pool vs. with one which would’ve been a major perk.

    2. Naples is gritty and very different than “tourist Italy.” There isn’t a ton to do there, and other than the pizza the food was meh, but it’s an interesting experience and the view of the volcano is cool. We had a couple days there and it felt like plenty. Pompeii is fun and Naples is the jumping off point for that.

      I love Florence. We spent a week there and I could have stayed longer even though it’s a small city and you can check off the “must dos” in 2-3 days. I just loved the vibes of the city, it has excellent food and wine and you can easily do day trips to the lovely Tuscan countryside. It’s a college town and I’ve heard people say Rome is to Florence is as New York is to Boston so that may give you some sense of what to expect.

      Venice is the only part of Italy I truly don’t like and I think you’re missing nothing by not going there, but I’m very much in the minority on that.

    3. Florence is inland so it doesn’t have beaches. Depending on how many points you have to burn the Hilton SLH La Roqqa property near Porto Ercole in Tuscany is supposed to be great but you’re likely best off using your points for hotels in Rome and Florence and paying out of pocket for beach and/or Venice. Depending on what kind of experience you want. Hilton has tons of options in Florence and Rome. You’re traveling during peak season so everything will be busy.

      1. I had been reading this article and was trying to sort out if train from Florence to beaches was feasible or not. Thanks for your feedback re: points for Rome and Florence then paying out of pocket for elsewhere-makes sense. So far we’ve booked Hilton hotels using points for Rome and Florence with a gap in between that will be Naples, Venice or elsewhere.

        3. Very doable. Trains run from Florence to Pisa every hour. Sometimes you have to change in Pisa but there are easy train connections from Pisa to beach towns like Follonica etc. Taxis to your hotel are available at the train stations in most towns or you can arrange one through your hotel if you arrive at an odd time or if you’re more than 4 people (most taxis take 4 people max). I’ve done this is the last two years with my elementary aged kids on my own. It’s pretty straight forward and Italy is generally quite safe.

          Just use google maps and select the train option instead of car. Train schedules are not released far in advance but if you use dates in the next month you’ll get a rough idea of the schedule even though it’s not officially released until closer to the dates. The Treitalia website is available in English and also quite easy to navigate.

    4. You may have luck finding out more (specific hotel recs, availability etc) in a Hilton honors FB group. I was in a Bonvoy one for a while that was helpful.

    5. As others have said– I highly doubt hotels are sold out at this point. Most hotels don’t release rooms until 6 months out. I also found a lot of Airbnb/VRBOs don’t release rooms until 90 days out.

      Venice also seemed to have mostly smaller hotels/boutiques when we were there. It looks like the Hilton is on another island? I’m sure it’s nice, but I don’t think I would do that on a first trip, especially with kids. Part of the appeal of Venice is being able to wander the streets, etc., which would be harder to do if you are on another island.

      1. I think it is possible some hotels are booked. I looked into doing an Italy tour in 2025 and the tour group suggested arriving a day early and booking your hotel right away because of the increased tourism due to the Jubilee year. They share the hotel info when you book (that is now for 2025). I ultimately decided to wait a year.

        1. Yes Jubilee is a big deal in Italy. It’s entirely possible stuff is booked 11 months in advance.

    6. I cannot get enough of the churches and museums and crypts and gardens in Naples. I was there around Christmas so that may have made it a little more touristy or festive with the creche market, but I agree that it’s grittier than Rome (I like gritty US cities too as tourist destinations, so YMMV).

      It’s easy (and tourist friendly) to get to a beachy destination like Sorrento from Naples on the train. Also very easy to get to Pompeii.

      1. Time of year makes a huge difference. Naples is scorching in the summer. It’s 90 degrees there now plus the humidity. That’s fine at the beach but sweltering for touring around.

  14. I have tech neck and shoulder pain from phone use, and am on the path to getting turkey neck. Thinking of doing something drastic to curb my phone use, like deleting the internet browser and social media apps. Has anyone tried this, and how did it go?

    1. I’d try to park in a city with a new parking app and regret it in a hot minute. Or a doctor visit needs you to fill in forms online. Or there is a signup genius. Life conspires to keep us online.

    2. I use the app ClearSpace and love it (it does cost money, but there’s a trial). It’s the only thing that’s worked for me. Basically you choose which apps you want to restrict and say how many times per day you want to access them as well as the time limit. So for instance I have instagram set to seven opens, with a maximum of ten minutes each. Every time you try to open the app, clearspace requires you to wait 15 seconds, then asks you how long you want to access the app for (mine is 1 minute, 5, 7 and 10). The best part, to me, is that it *also* blocks the mobile sites of whatever apps you want to restrict. In the past I’d just delete the instagram app, but then I’d end up on the mobile site. It actually doesn’t stop you from accessing each app more than your allotted number, it just tells you you’ve opened the app 10/7 times or whatever.

      For me, the two reasons this works so well: having to wait that fifteen seconds makes me pause and think if I really want to bother opening whatever app, or if it’s just boredom. And then also, since I can only access it for ten minutes at a time, I’ll notice that I’ve accessed it 3 times in a row or whatever and that means I’ve just wasted thirty minutes.

    3. I deleted fb and insta from my phone and my life is so much better. I can still use the apps, either on my ipad, or if i re-download them on the weekend or something. I still find ways to waste time (like responding to questions in an anonymous forum!) but I find it is better quality wasting of time. I read interesting articles, respond to personal emails, whatever. It’s better, and as an added benefit, I am far removed from the 1-hour news cycle and far end spectrum opinions that my feeds have become. The biggest thing for me is that I need to hold myself to it–no seeking out work arounds because they’re always available.

  15. I love my nylon crescent bag from Quince (the one with the interchangeable handles) but it’s on the small side. Is there a durable nylon bag that is bigger/medium size. Like Prada but without the price tag? Does not need to be designer.

  16. I have thick but fine wavy shoulder length hair. I am constantly battling unwanted frizz, flyaways, and baby hairs, regardless of the weather, humidity, and if my hair is heat styled or natural. Is hair oil something that might help?

    1. No. I go for a dab of Vaseline or spray or the “edges” products from the black hair care part of the aisle.

    3. Similar hair– I use the Olaplex No. 7 Bonding Oil.

      I also started having much better luck with my hair once I started using curly hair products.

    4. I have curly/wavy hair so I mostly just let it do its thing and resign myself to frizziness. That said, I got a hair wax stick on Amazon that works well. I prefer to wax to hair oil because my hair doesn’t feel as greasy.

    5. I use hair oil on my similar hair and it helps, as does a good moisturizing conditioner.

  17. I posted late yesterday, and hoping for more input.

    Anyone been to the Kripalu Yoga retreat in the Berkshires? It was recommended on this site and sounds good to me. How long would you would you recommend going? I am going to try to go in October when the leaves are peaking. Is this is a long weekend sort of thing… 5 days …. or a week?

    I am in desperate need of a peaceful break, and relaxing. I am relatively a Yoga beginner, but I love it. It sounds like Kripalu is simple lodging, daily classes, healthy meals, hiking on the grounds etc.. Not a spa type place.

    Thanks

    1. I have been to Kripalu once for a specific yoga workshop and once just for the regular r&r. Both times I stayed 2 nights. The r&r was more relaxing than the workshop. One more night would’ve been nice, but 2 was fine and I don’t think I’d stay more than 3. I stayed in a private room with a shared bath in the main building—I was into the simplicity of the monastery/dorm atmosphere and it was nice to be in the main building.

      1. May I ask why you wouldn’t stay more than three? I am looking around at yoga workshops and would love your thoughts.

      2. Thanks… and why did you prefer the main building? I was going to choose the slightly pricier annex building with view/bathroom.

        1. I went for 4 nights a number of years ago. We were there in the fall and it was beautiful. We stayed in the new building and were happy with that decision (own bathroom, but very simple room). The food was good with lots of options. We did an r&r program and added a couple of additional treatments.

    2. Is it possible that she technically filed pro se but had advice from an attorney when filling out the forms?

    3. I read that she said they want to work with out with their business managers, not lawyers. I would never advise anyone to get divorced without a lawyer but how much can there be to negotiate after such a short marriage with a prenup?

      I have THOUGHTS about J.Lo. Yes, I am judging a celebrity and a stranger. But I think it’s sad that she goes on the cover of People or whatever talking about how she and A-Rod had this amazing blended family. Then there was another blended family. That has to be really hard on the kids.

      1. I feel terrible for all the kids involved. Her kids apparently got really close to A-Rod’s kids, only to have those relationships suddenly end, then they get really close to Ben’s kids and the same thing happens. I’m hoping this time the kids will be able to stay in better contact as they’re closer to being independent adults, but they’ve been put through the wringer for sure.

        1. Especially the Afflecks’ youngest kid. They’ve been together like 4 years which is like half that kid’s life. At least the older kids are teens who might have been more aware of the history just from reading stuff online.

          1. The Afllecks youngest kid is only 12 and doesn’t really line up with J Lo’s kids age-wise so I doubt they’re close. J Lo’s kids are 16 and apparently one of J Lo’s 16 year olds was super close to middle Affleck kid, who is 15 years old.

    4. It’s not at all uncommon for people to have shadow divorce lawyers advising them in divorces they hope remain amicable.

      It is a little weird for a celebrity to file in pro per, but for regular people, that move is not that uncommon.

      1. My exH and I did that. We sorted out everything ourselves, I had lawyer friend prep for filing, he had another lawyer friend review for him, and then my lawyer friend filed and took care of getting it done.

        Pro tip: if you are part of the legal community, particularly in a small town full of nosy lawyers, courthouse clerks, etc, you can both waive venue and file your divorce a few counties away where you’re not particularly well known at that courthouse or with that bar. And if you have agreed on splitting assets and debt there is absolutely no reason to include numbers. Privacy fully maintained!

  19. A small vent and shout out to any other ladies here who are trying their hardest to be a good friend to their besties.
    Preface: I’ve brought up finding a new job twice in the past and have restrained since then from commenting beyond being sympathetic during a vent sesh.

    Bestie is underpaid in her current position and is semi open about the fact that she’s got cc debt and a tight budget every month. Just by moving to an equivalent position in a different industry/sector she’d get a salary bump, and some financial breathing room. It’s at least 2 years past the point where I think she should have jumped ship for more $$ but she won’t do it. I think it comes down to fear rather than lack of skills. Her current role is unsupported and unlikely to have any meaningful bonus or pay bumps. It hurts to watch and hear about her struggles and not be able to do more without over stepping in the relationship.

      1. This… it’s not as easy as the news/internet makes it out to be, nor are the pay bumps as great. Plus, job searching is completely soul-sucking and demoralizing.
        Maybe there are people out there who employers fall over themselves to snap up at higher rates of pay, but despite having all the skills in a supposedly in-demand field and being a completely functional human, it’s never been my experience.

      2. op anon- We chronically overshare with eachother so I know she’s looked at 1 other job in the last year but wasnt serious about and didnt go beyond putting an application in.

        Her current role is at a non profit, and underpaid by 5k from her predecessor. Unless her boss leaves or they find budget for a junior person, there’s not really another move in the org she can make. Essentially shes the only person doing her role. Just moving out of non profit world would be a bump.

        I try to just be there and passively influence where I can when the opportunities arise.

        Theres lifestyle changes I do wish she’d make, but its been slow for her to see where those changes need to happen for herdelf. Right now, if she dropped her car that would be the biggest positive impact financially.

        1. I tend to believe posters about the facts they present, however…

          Does she get PSLF by remaining in the non-profit world, in a way that swamps out salary gains in the private sector?

          Is she able to trade in her car and save money? The market is still nuts and she might lose money and end up with a less reliable vehicle.

        2. I was in a similar situation to your friend, working at a NGO and underpaid, but also unwilling to sell my soul. It took me 18 months to find my government job (50% pay raise and I can still sleep at night!). So I sympathize from that perspective, but I could not with the car thing, such a waste.

    2. There’s a lot to consider in making a move and I think people often think that they’ll make a lot more in a similar role and find out that’s not actually true. She may be better off staying and going for a promotion at current company or making other lifestyle choices. You’ve got an idea but it might not be the right one for a lot of reasons.

    3. I actually had to just stop talking to one of my close friends about work for this reason. She is married to a doctor whose family is already independently wealthy. She doesn’t need to work but took a very low end job with grind hours and would complain constantly. Me and her husband tried to talk her into leaving. Did not happen for 10 years. I gave up on year 3 and would just try to steer the convo elsewhere.

    4. I think a lot of us have been in the position where we’ve had to eventually stop engaging too much on issues where our friends are stuck or insecure. My friend is married to the world’s biggest manbaby and constantly goes back and forth on whether to consider divorce. It’s obviously a huge decision, but like your friend, I think the delays and indecision are due to fear rather than what she truly wants. I don’t offer ANY advice at all and just try to keep us talking about other things.

    5. I have a best friend in a very similar position, and it is so frustrating to watch someone you love limit their own options and happiness because they’re scared of change. I’ve seen it in careers, and I’ve definitely seen it in romantic relationships, and I know I’ve done it, and it always bums me out.

    6. I have lots of friends who make life choices that are pretty questionable IMO. As long as they don’t speak to their character (so no cheating or criminal activity) I stay friends with them and make noncommittal “hmm, that sounds hard” comments when they bring up stuff I disagree with.

    7. “Vent sesh” is literal here – your friend is letting off the pressure that might make her act by venting to you. Then she feels better about her situation and goes right back to it.

      I wonder what would happen if you not only stopped bringing up a new job (or any other solution, but ALSO cut short and redirected her vent seshes. Like giving her short, sympathetic listening noises (“Yeah, that sounds tough”) and then changing the subject completely? Would she be relieved that she no longer feels like you’re trying to tell her what to do? Or would she be upset that you’re no longer helping her stay in a bad situation by giving her a place to dump her feelings about it?

  20. WWYD- I recently walked into a store and met a woman who it turns out has worked with my BIL for several years. Much to my surprise, she said, “Oh, YOU are his sister in law. He is in love with you. One time he told me that he was going home to shower and change into nice clothes because you were coming over.” She also shared a couple of other times where he was doing things to apparently impress me. It made me so uncomfortable. I told DH who has always gotten along with our BIL (BIL is married to DH’s sister). Now he doesn’t want to be around him anymore. I feel very awkward about this female coworker of his- I feel like she has poor discretion. Maybe he did say those things, but why would she blurt them out to me? And if what she said is true, now I feel totally awkward about my BIL. And he has poor discretion- if he did feel this way, why would he tell his coworker?? Then I thought the coworker was just blowing it out of proportion, maybe he did say something but she made it bigger than it was. Annoyingly, since this happened, I have run into this female coworker two times, but I try to keep the conversation short. And I also don’t know what to do about my SIL. So far, I have said nothing, but should I say something?

    2. If you want to do something I’d let BIL know that his coworker is gossiping about him to random strangers she doesn’t even know.

    3. Unless you’ve had a weird vibe from BIL previously, I would brush this off at an odd co-worker. As you note, even if he felt that way, it seems really unusual that he would disclose that to a co-worker and it’s extra odd that the co-worker would then tell you. Says more about her than him.

      What’s the nature of BIL’s job? My DH is a scientist but during field season he often showers and changes after work and when my sister is visiting from away, he could easily say ‘I have to be done in the field by 5pm because I need to shower and change before SIL comes for dinner.’ He’s not in love with my sister. He’s just not showing up to dinner in field work clothes.

      1. +1 that, absent any other evidence, it’s likely that this co-worker is an odd and gossipy person at best. Imagining things or malicious are also possibilities. What rational person would tell a gossipy co-worker that they are in love with their SIL?

        1. OP here- BIL is a safety manager and yes, out in the field a lot, so it makes complete sense he would shower before seeing anyone at all.
          This coworker did say some things, family details (the last vacation we all went on together, what everyone’s jobs are and what parts of town we all live in), and things about my in laws that are true (for example, she knew BIL and my in laws don’t get along), so they obviously talk a lot and he’s definitely over-sharing things with her. This person just sounds like trouble.

          1. In case it matters, I’m an actuary – the ultimate desk jockey – and there’s a good chance I’d shower after work before having company over! Doesn’t mean I’m in love with them. :)

          2. Chatting about vacations, similar jobs or real estate (where people live) is standard coworker talk. Even a bit of in-law venting isn’t that unusual. Not my finest moments but I’ve probably vented about MIL scheduling fancy restaurant dinners and insisting we bring toddlers instead of getting a babysitter if a coworker was chatting about something similar.

      1. This. Sounds like she is trying to cause trouble in his marriage without her being the other woman.

      3. I didn’t think this initially, but once you said it… she’s either projecting hard onto him or she’s a pot-stirrer.

      4. OP here, now that you mention this and I think about it, this makes sense. And what is strange is that she and I look somewhat similar, though I don’t wear a lot of makeup or dress up much and she does- she is like the hot version of me.

        1. She definitely intended this to get back to your SIL. She’s messaging that BIL is attracted to women who look like her.

    5. I would laugh it off and pretend this conversation never happened unless your BIL has done anything weird. This kind of rumor can really ruin relationships.

    6. Such a bummer everyone is assuming the worst of the co-worker. It’s a really awkward position to be in when others are acting improperly and you unwillingly have knowledge of it. Everyone piling on her ‘discretion’ is wild, she doesn’t have to keep secrets.

      2. Is really keeping a secret if she hadn’t mentioned it, though? Like if I had a teacher in school that my brother thought was awful, I wouldn’t have gone into school the first day and said, “Nice to meet you. Heard a lot of bad things about you.”

        1. She doesn’t know OP. She’s super super weird and invasive to even approach her with this. This goes beyond keeping a secret. And it’s a secret she made up in her own head, by the way. it’s not an actual thing, necessarily. It’s something she has imagined brother-in-law feels. The whole situation is nuts.

      3. Why is she not telling the SIL directly vs gossiping? And making it seem like the shower and change is a big deal with OP says it’s normal given his work.

      4. I’m sorry, but approaching a stranger in the store to dish on somebody you know in common? That’s deranged. If you think that’s OK, you need to change your life, because that’s beyond weird.

      5. But there is no secret to keep and BIL hasn’t done anything wrong. She is making wild assumptions based on normal human behavior (like showering before a guest visits). She has no evidence he’s actually in love with OP.

      6. Oh ffs, this is absolutely inappropriate behavior by this coworker. There’s no question about it! She doesn’t even know OP. If she thinks her coworker is doing something wrong she should just ignore it.

        1. She sounds like a wacko for sure.

          No matter what OP does about this (my advice is to tell the BIL coworker is gossiping about him) but at the very least she needs to avoid the delusional coworker as much as she possibly can. Do not engage with the crazy.

    7. This sounds made up but idk why you’re whining about the random stranger coworker here

  21. For those in 4 seasons climate who have pools, how often are you able to really enjoy your pool, and is it worth the upkeep?

    1. I put mine in 3 years ago and I use it several times a week. I pay for opening and closing but I handle the chemicals and cleaning myself. With a salt system, the maintenance is greatly reduced.

    3. I in the northeast and bought a house with a pool not because I wanted a pool but because the house was perfect otherwise. I’m sure this just makes me sound like a grump, but I haaaated owning a pool. Mine was saltwater and supposedly lower-maintenance but something was constantly broken and just maintaining it was so much work. In my area you could only really use the pool mid-June through August without a heater. I don’t think I’ll buy a house with a pool again unless I am rich enough to completely outsource every single aspect of upkeep.

      1. I don’t think it makes you sound grumpy. A pool was a dealbreaker for me when we were house-hunting in the Midwest. I have no desire to own a pool – the community pool is just as good during our brief pool season – and the maintenance and upkeep seemed like huge headaches.

    4. mid west, we use it basically just on the weekends, but all weekend long usually. I love having it because its a fun activity to invite other families over for, and we’re outside more in general because of it, even the maintenance means I’m outside for a bit at least a few times a week. I would never again own a pool that wasn’t heated, and didn’t have an autocover though. we swim early may to mid-October. Worth it depends on your situation, I am not a swimmer or sun bather, it probably wouldn’t be worth it if we didn’t have kids. Every year something will break and it’s always $600-$1000

  22. Anyone been on Ambien long-term and then just gone off cold-turkey? Weaning hasn’t worked. At some point, you might be up for days but eventually the body will sleep, no?

    1. Yep. I cut my pills in half for a while, then in quarters, then when I found myself licking the dust left behind from trying to quarter the pills like some addict character in a made-for-tv movie, I knew it was time to throw them away.

      I did not get much sleep for close to a week but I just forced myself to stay in bed & I eventually dozed off. I wouldn’t say it was “good” sleep but I swear, I’m fixed now. I can fall asleep easier now than I could even before I started taking Ambien.

  23. Just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who responded to my post yesterday asking for insight into the treatment process for stage 1 breast cancer. It really helped me think through better what kind of help my family and I might need and when we might need it. Hugs to anyone else who is dealing with or has dealt with this.

    1. At Christmas after I was treated I bought myself a necklace. Three years later I wear it most days and think when I put it on, “I kicked cancers a$$”.
      You may not want any more reminders, but it reminds me I can do hard things.

  24. Need help for a new purse. I don’t need such a large tote anymore for work and kids extras. Would prefer something smaller but functional to wear to office and weekends. Finding I really only need enough essentials most of the time that fit in a belt bag, but need something a little bigger in case I do want to put a water bottle in the bag. Thanks!

    1. I love my Portland Leather medium cross-body tote for this. I’ve had it maybe three years and it still looks brand new. I also highly recommend anything/everything from Lotuff Leather. Super great quality.

  25. Looking for distraction reading: is there anything like Money Diaries but isn’t money focused? I know there is the series here but it isn’t as in depth and still money focused. Is there a place where I can go and read about someone else’s life for a week? What they do, where they go, etc. The format of Money Diaries but without the overarching focus on what they spent/bought. I think I am just missing the peak times of LiveJournal/Xanga/etc and want some escapism from my current job ha

    1. This may not be what you are looking for but hot mess in high heels and swipes and dating tales are 2 fun blogs – neither posts much anymore but they have archives of back posts so you could start from the beginning?

    2. How about the book, I Know How She Does It which has time studies of how different successful women spend their week?

      1. That book exhausted me, I wouldn’t exactly consider it distraction reading. “Look, this woman woke up at 5 and ran 3 miles before getting her kids up and working a 14 hour day! She has free time, so can you!”

      2. Agreed – this was a crazy book, but it helped me a lot. I am not as intense as a lot of the women in the book, but the general concept of “you have X hours in the day; pick how you spend them” really resonated with me.

    3. New York Mag has a series like this with famous/noteworthy people that I think usually is just one day and the NYT has a series with also famous/noteworthy types about how they spend their Sundays.

    4. R29 also has “feel good diaries” which are wellness / fitness focused. Not published very often (or anymore???) but very fun

      1. OMG I never knew the Kitchn did diaries let alone different ones. Bookmarking all now. Thank you!!!!

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