Coffee Break: Garissa Flat

110 Comments

1. Reposting because I was late, and a follow up question at the end….

   I want a black leather jacket. It will be the “edgiest” thing in my wardrobe. I’m very much a Jcrew-loving, skinny jeans wearing elder millennial who is waiting for this current set of trends to go away. That said, I feel like I could really benefit from adding this piece to my wardrobe. I’ve found myself putting outfits together more than once recently and thinking “a leather jacket would look really great with this.”

   So, I have no idea where to look. I think… think?… I don’t want a lot of crazy hardware. I’m a size 12, 5’8″. Somewhere between apple and pear shaped – probably a hair more pear. Any types of cuts to consider? Terminology to know? I’m starting at zero.

   The follow up: the response I got said All Saints. The Vela Slim Fit Leather Biker Jacket is basically exactly what I was envisioning. But, do you really zip it? I think I’d always wear it unzipped. How does someone cooler than me wear this?

   1. Alas, AllSaints goes to a size 12, which might fit me but for the comment to size up. So freaking frustrating.

      1. I don’t know about the leather jackets, but I have found AllSaints can be quite generous at the upper sizes. It is worth a shot.

   2. I never zip my leather jackets–it looks stuffy.

      If you want a tailored fit that comes in larger sizes than AllSaints, try the washed leather biker jacket from Madewell.

   3. I rarely zip but sized up in All saints to accommodate my hips. Shoulders were fine in both my normal and sized-up size, and were too big in 2 sizes up. You might be able to wear your regular size if you plan to only wear unzipped.

   4. Looks Good from the Back did a pretty thorough assessment of the All Saints and Madewell jackets. I think the blog is still up, although she has moved to substack. She has an Instagram, too, I think the name is amblus.

   5. I have jackets like that and if it’s cold I will zip partway. Never zip all the way.

   6. I also am a J Crew loving elder millennial and I bought a faux leather jacket on clearance at Zara five-ish years ago on a whim…I LOVED it. It made everything look cooler. Sadly I gained weight and it no longer fit and I gave it to a friend.

      I bought another faux leather one a couple years ago that is very soft (feels real) from Vince Camuto and I like it but it’s a bit more oversized than my previous one and is a bit harder to style because of that. The sleeves are also longer than I’d prefer, but since they zip it will be difficult/expensive to alter them.

      So based on my experience, find one that isn’t too oversized if you plan on wearing it with dresses and has sleeves that either don’t have zippers or are a good length for you!

   7. I was influenced by Princess Megan to buy the Mackage Baya Jacket and I LOVE it. Not too much hardware, looks classic and comes in at least one or two unusual colors a season. It goes up to 2XL but I would imagine you’d be fine in a L or XL.

      1. Not necessarily – if you look at the size chart, the XXL is nominally a 12.

   8. Nope, you don’t zip a fashion leather jacket. (Obviously you’d zip actual moto gear.)

      It’s like a man’s three button suit jacket. While you technically could button all three buttons, it’s not done.

      I don’t zip my All saints biker. I can, but it looks very stuffed sausagey over the bust. Open, it’s perfect. Over a chunky sweater, perfect. Half-zipped is fine, but women’s jackets have cheaper hardware so unless you have a two-way zip it might not work on the hips.

2. Is anybody else planning major life changes, depending on the election outcome?

   I remember 2016 so well. It galvanized me to save as much money as I could, with an eye toward being able to leave the States if I wanted to. Fast-forward 8 years, I have a low 7-figure nest egg, no partner, no children, and a recently renewed passport. I get my annual bonus later this month.

   If D T wins, there is a good chance I either ask my boss for an international transfer or resign after I collect that bonus. I’ve even put off the purchase of a vehicle, since I won’t need reliable wheels if he wins. The prospect has helped me downsize my belongings, as I contemplate leaving.

   1. Nope. My parents are mid-70s and moving abroad without them isn’t an option for me. And it would be really complicated to move them with us since they don’t work and couldn’t get work visas.

      Also I sort of feel like the most disastrous outcomes of the election (especially for men and women who aren’t having any more pregnancies) aren’t things that are unique to the US. Ukraine ceasing to exist, climate change accelerating, tariffs causing global economic collapse, etc. None of that is something you’d be insulated from by moving to Europe.

      1. Well as an American living in Europe (germany) I disagree. For one the climate change impacts depend on local geography. For two there are totally different social supports and priorities here. Which change how people experience economic issues. Even being educated (phd) with a chance to make a higher income in the US, I am so, so grateful for the security that living here provides me. We aren’t even getting into healthcare and retirement

         1. Oh I’m not arguing there aren’t meaningful quality of life differences between the US and Europe. But this thread was about moving specifically because of the 2024 presidential election results and it’s not like we’re going to get free healthcare and retirement if Kamala wins. The senate will most likely still be Republican majority, and even if it’s not you need 60 votes to get anything done, which will certainly not happen. I don’t want Trump anywhere near the nuclear codes or classified foreign policy info and 4 more years of Trump SCOTUS appointments would be terrible, but Kamala likely isn’t going to make a lot of progress on social issues.

   2. I don’t have the means and all my family members live here but I would definitely consider leaving if he was elected. The bigger question is where would you go?

   3. I’m curious where you’re planning to go if he wins! From what I’ve found, it’s not easy for an American to just move to most places. Though with your best egg, it might open more doors.

      I honestly am trying my best to live in the moment right now and can’t think past tomorrow.

      1. Exactly my thoughts.

         Sounds like she has options to simply move abroad for work. That can be great if your company has this option, and then you can make contacts that may facilitate staying in the future.

         I don’t think most countries want American immigrants, to be honest! Most are trying to tighten their borders too.

         But OP, it sounds like you are well positioned to take a chance and have an adventure nonetheless.

   4. I have no plan for major life changes regardless of who wins or loses. We have the means, but our life is in the US. My parents are here. My kids go to a wonderful school and have wonderful friends. We both have good jobs. Etc etc.

      My husband is French, so France would be the natural place for us to move, but things aren’t really better there right now anyways.

      1. Unfortunately, the US political environment is part of a larger international trend. You may not find greener pastures overseas.

         1. This

         2. Yep, my point exactly.

         3. Yup, it feels like many countries are becoming more right-wing, including my own (Canada).

            1. The US is a whole other ballpark. There are not massive public school issues, unaffordable healthcare, unavailable healthcare for women and severe homelessness or immigration crisis’ in multiple cities in Canada. Yes those issues exist in Canada as well and certain issues are worse in certain areas but the scale is nowhere near the same.

            2. The cost of real estate in Canada is insane.

            3. If you exclude Vancouver and Toronto (LA and NYC of Canada), the average house price is under 400K US for a single family home. More if you’re closer to Vancouver or Toronto obv. That’s a lot but it’s not out of step with many other countries.

      2. Couldn’t agree more. I’m German and so is my husband, so we always have a country to fall back on and even maintain rental properties there for later.
         But – daily life is comparatively easier and more comfortable here in the States, so we’re not planning a move.

   5. I’m Canadian but we have an upcoming election next year and I’m doing the paperwork for a second citizenship (based on my parents birthplace) to give me an escape option should our crazy monster be elected. It’s really shocking since in Canada our conservatives used to at least be rational intelligent people (just selfish), so the media talking head thing is insane.

      1. My friend just moved from Canada and got her U.S. citizenship. A lot of people questioned why she would do that since she is liberal, I hope the VP wins for her sake.

         1. Oh the US is absolutely worse than Canada no doubt. I’m married to an ex-American who was quick to renounce once they could

      2. Poilievre is not great but he’s not in DT territory. At most he’s like old school GOP which is pretty conservative for Canada but not like sh00t the journalists kind of talk that DT has come forward with.

         1. PP has put abortion on the table which would have been unconscionable for Harper.

            1. It’s unlikely that he can pull off a majority. Poll numbers don’t reflect the complexity of actually winning enough seats across the country vs capturing a percentage of the vote. More likely scenario is minority govt with Bloc support but Bloc are not anti-abortion. And even if he can get a majority, he’ll have a tough time getting anything too radical through a liberal dominated Senate. And even if he can get it through the Senate, the Charter of Rights interpretations by the Supreme Court to date would not allow the kind of extreme non-science based laws in the US. And the current Supreme Court has a female majority (5/9 judges) with a couple of liberal leaning male judges so I can’t see the current court overturning the previous decisions.

   6. We have talked about moving abroad if the worst happens in the election, but haven’t actually taken any concrete steps. Honestly at this point I think it’s probably too late for us — most of the really attractive Golden Visa programs seem to have been discontinued and my husband is already 77 and the waiting times for the ones that are left are pretty daunting. I just hope we don’t get stuck here in a really nightmarish situation. I am a little intrigued by the New Zealand temporary (but renewable) investor’s visa so maybe I will look into that if it seems appropriate…

      1. If Senior Attorney is thinking about this, I know I am not nuts!

         Hearing the feedback of others. I would have loved to be more settled with a partner and children and a loving extended family but life didn’t work out that way. I guess my mobility is the upside of a lacking personal life. Also the big non-profit I have heavily volunteered for over 10 years is shutting its doors. There just isn’t much left for me here.

         As for questions where, I don’t want to out myself but I have a very long-term friend that would sponsor me to relocate to his desirable country as his domestic partner. I can still qualify for certain Golden Visa programs. I have also obtained my TESL certificate, and would happily go the route of teaching English – not all programs require you to be young. I do not need a lavish lifestyle and I’m happy to work, especially since my assets can supplement a low salary.

         Agree with the commenters re: rise of further-right politicians. But it is also true that “right” politics elsewhere are not necessarily as radical and definitely not as morally compromised or temperamentally malignant as D T.

      2. Definitely look at NZ — I visited in 2019 and fell in love with the country. I only spent about nine days there, however, so I may have been wearing rose-colored glasses, but there was a lot to like. The more realistic option for me would be to spend several months abroad every year, rather than to wholesale move to another country as an expat. So become one of those people who “divide their time” between Venice, California and Paris, France, or something like that. You don’t have to be fabulously rich to do this, but you do have to have maximum flexibility from the workplace.

         1. Yes, I agree with NZ. This is the place that I considered years ago.

   7. Very similar boat as you. My partner and I postponed our house search until after the election. I’m purposely with a company where I could keep my position or a similar position abroad. I realize it will be difficult and the plan might not work out, but we’ve set ourselves up financially to have other options. Yes, all of our family are here, but if worst comes to worst, some will also want/need to leave and need some kind of path/hope out and that will be us.

   8. no. my whole family is in the U.S. i do currently live in TX and am very very grateful that I am done having children. my two girls are currently 6, so there might be some things to consider as they get older, but for now we are staying put.

   9. I’m a Californian who is staying put. It feel like the safest place without leaving the US.

      All my family are here, so I’m not prepared to leave the US on a whim.

      1. I feel fortunate to be living in Massachusetts right now.

      2. CA is full of flaws, but I’m already here and I think that it will be hard for TFG to institute some of his ideas around these parts. That said, I do encourage my kids to think about emigrating. It’s hard for me to look at their English cousins and say that my kids are better off in this country. Their English cousins may have some social-class-related barriers, but especially for the brighter ones I think this is a pretty mild problem.

   10. More likely to see people moving between states instead of out of the US. It’s easier and offers some measure of protection against what is happening in more extreme states. The maternal mortality increase in Texas would make me very uncomfortable to live there as I have a 13 year old.

       1. What’s happening in Texas is horrifying, and I’m not exactly living in a blue area.

       2. Good luck to those looking to maintain their standard of living if they move to an ultra blue state like CA. I know well educated and highly paid friends leaving CA constantly.

          1. I know people love to say that, but I’m a Californian and none of my friends have left the state in 20+ years.

             1. Really? Maybe it’s different in other parts of the state, but I lived in the Bay Area 10 years ago and people were leaving in droves because they couldn’t afford to buy houses. And these were educated, upper middle class professionals with household incomes above $200k. It really feels like the only way to become a homeowner there is to win the tech startup lottery, make partner/director in law or finance and have a high six figure income, or have family help.

             2. Not my experience. So many friends have left due to the cost of living. I’m in the Bay.

          2. There are other states besides TX or CA.

   11. No. I know a few people who moved to Canada after 2016. They’re still there, but not sure, overall, if it is worth it. They moved away from a huge network of family and friends, had to uproot their kids, and have had plenty of life stressors since then, some of which have been related to trying to get citizenship, work, etc. I understand why they did it, but I don’t see myself following suit.

   12. I will stay and fight. I say this as someone who has dual citizenship and a career that can be transferred to my home country (potentially even with the same employer). We hit the point in about 2018 where DH looked at me and said, but, like, we really could move there and it wasn’t abstract. That was when I realized that I wasn’t ready to stop fighting for a better future in the US, e.g., when I absolutely have the choice to.

   13. the Commonwealth of Massachusetts welcomes you all.

       1. I agree! It’s pretty great here, except for the cost of housing. Just don’t live near Boston and you will be fine. Great education, healthcare, LBGTQ friendly, clean air and water….We welcome all of you!

          1. It’s cold here but we just bundle up and ski. The Celtics are great and we have other teams, too.

   14. We have our If This Then That list that has several situations in which we’d leave the US to go to my husband’s home country. It certainly isn’t perfect either, but we can both work there, and he at least can work in the rest of the EU. And as someone pointed out up thread, our kids can finish school where there aren’t weekly hold in place situations (another one today!) and they can marry women who have control over their bodies.

   15. It depends on how bad it gets. If there’s a red wave, and they gut Obamacare and Medicare then we have no reason to stay.

3. I’m sitting at work failing at billing and I kind of want to short truth social. That’s a bad idea, right? Also, I don’t know how to short something.

   1. This really made me laugh.
      Yet, I agree with you.

      Except I don’t think it is a bad idea.

      1. Same.

   2. I am so deeply behind on everything and I just can’t … do anything today. I don’t know how to short anything either, sorry.

      1. me too. depending on the outcome, idk how i’m going to do anything for the next 4 years

      2. Fortunately/unfortunately? I am in the midst of a medical scare and have to have a scan today. I voted early, so worrying about something else is keeping my mind occupied.

         1. Sending you all the good karma. Nothing matters more than health.

         2. sending you good thoughts and warm wishes

         3. Sending you good vibes and crossed fingers for good scan results.

   3. Heh I don’t do my investments like that but I sure do like where you head is at!

   4. So for what it’s worth, I think truth social is overshorted BUT the betting markets are way over-estimating a trump win, so that’s where I’d put money

      (My stony cold economist heart says you should actually hedge & at least make money on a trump victory, but I couldn’t actually bring myself to do it)

4. do we think voters on all ‘sides’ are equally anxious right now or one side is more anxious than the other?

   1. I think Democrats are pretty much always more anxious. Especially those of us who remember 2016.

      1. Yup.

   2. Unless you’re a billionaire the anxiety of the orange side is entirely based on propaganda, so no.

      1. I somehow got on a “news” email list from the far right, and if that was all I was seeing, I’d be terrified right now. There was literally NO good news – everything was about people being murdered or robbed or losing their homes because of high taxes or… They seemed to consolidate all of the awful news from the entire US and disseminate only that. It certainly made me understand how people could think that voting for Trump was the only thing standing in between them and utter lawlessness.

         1. This makes sense – and the other thing I think about is: I feel worried and stressed that elections /might/ fail in the future, with Trump gutting protections. A significant portion of my Trump-supporting neighbors are living in a world where they already believe American democracy failed, and their votes last time were destroyed or thrown out or overwhelmed by cheating – they’re wrong of course! but that must still feel incredibly stressful and disheartening.

   3. Every woman who’s ever busted her ass, done everything right and seen some less qualified dude swoop in and get the job is worried today. We’ve all seen that story play out at least once in our own lives. I hope America does right today, but I’m not holding my breath.

      1. Kamala… isn’t that woman. Please stop pretending.

         1. It’s not about the woman though. That’s the fundamental problem.

         2. Her team has run a near-flawless campaign against an absolute buffoon. It shouldn’t even be close and yet here we all are.

            1. If the first sentence were true, the second would not be.

            2. nah, the first sentence can be true without the second being true. You’re completely overlooking external factors, namely misogyny and racism. And to a lesser degree people feeling economic strain from inflation.

      2. Kamala has not busted her ass for anything. She was ushered in as the chosen one once they forced Biden out.

         1. I see the tr-lls are out. Don’t feed them.

            1. Yup, our friends in Moscow are getting an early start.

         2. Californian here. Not a Moscow bot. People that do not think like you exist.

5. On top of election day thoughts, I’m resigning from my job this afternoon, as soon as my manager goes green on Teams. 9 years, really amazing manager and friends. I changed careers to take this position and it’s worked out better than I imagined. This new opportunity I have is so great and I’m really excited and ready for something new, but I’m feeling sad that my (already slim) teams will be left in a reasonably tough spot with my departure. Good vibes accepted :)

   1. VIBES!!

   2. congrats on the new role!

   3. Sending you good vibes from across the internet!

   4. Congrats on the new job!! I hope the convo goes well

6. Can I just say how impressed I was with how many women were on the ballot this election in my Midwestern state? Lots for judicial positions and other downballot races.

7. I’m thinking of resigning from a volunteer post that I am supposed to hold until July 2025. My main reason is that I am spread way too thin, both at work and at home, and something has to give. I like the organization but do not love the work I’m doing. I feel guilty, though, like being too busy isn’t a good enough reason. (Yes, I have a hard time quitting things!) But when I think of the time I’ll still need to put in during the next six months, even if I dial it in, it’s still a lot of hours spent on something I just really don’t want to do.

   1. depends what it is. i’m part of a condo board and someone just walked off in the middle of their term and it actually created a lot more work and stress than if she had just stepped back and done less and finished it.

   2. This seems like common sense, not a matter for guilt or self-blame.
      It’s a volunteer position that you a) don’t have time for and b) don’t want to do.

      1. Yes, this — you’re getting in your own way (in familiar ways, no judgment!). Do your best not to leave people in the lurch (eg, give them some lead time, finish up projects, that kind of thing), but then resign.

8. Someone please look up what melania is wearing today to vote – I want her dress! Anyone able to ID it? (And if it’s like, $1,000, any dupe recommendations welcome!)

   1. It’s Dior. https://www.instagram.com/flotusfashionista/p/DAYmB7Rvsp-/?img_index=1

      1. and PS no I don’t follow the account, it was just a really good Google lens hit!

   2. Oh absolutely not

   3. I do not like the polka dots, but I have a dupe rec if you like the midi shirtdress style. I have the Tobie dress from Anthro in black and in leopard print:

      https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/the-tobie-button-front-pleated-shirt-dress-by-exquise?color=009&type=STANDARD&quantity=1

9. Has anyone tried sole bliss or calla shoes? Are they worth the money? My bunions are getting worse and my various office shoes are getting uncomfortable (but I will probably keep wearing them sometimes because I still love them…) and I want some comfy flats.

10. Official U.S. election results/reactions thread, anyone?

    1. From WSJ
       Who Voted? A Younger, More Female Electorate
       By Aaron Zitner

       Our first look at a big survey of people who voted in the presidential election finds that women and young adults made up larger shares of the voter poll than in 2020. If those findings hold up as the survey gets updated through the night, it would mark a meaningful shift in the electorate.

       The voter pool was 54% female and 45% male, preliminary results from the AP VoteCast survey show. That is an increase of 1 point for women and a decrease of 2 points among men. Some 1% in the new survey were recorded as nonbinary or “other.’’ Young voters—those under age 30—account for 16% of the electorate in preliminary results, up from 13% in 2020, while those ages 30-44 rose by 2 points. We can’t yet say how these various groups voted; those results become available at about 8 p.m. ET.

    2. Polls close in my bellwether county in 6 minutes! I’m anxious to see the results here. We were Trump ‘16 and Biden ‘20 by a hair, so if Kamala wins here by a full percentage point or more I think she’s in very good shape nationally.

       Liking what I hear/see about Philly turnout. I’m more worried about Wisconsin at this point.

       1. What are the results in your county?

          1. I’m not seeing any results so far. He’s underperforming in red counties in my (very red) state so far though…

    3. It’s the point in the evening where I wish I’d bought whiskey.

       1. I feel sick,

       2. Yeah, I’m not optimistic. Everyone says it’s like 2020 with the red mirage early, but in that election there were late breaking mail ballots that were staggeringly Dem because of the pandemic. It’s not really the same situation this year. I’m sure the mail ballots will lean Dem but it’s not the same as 90-10 margins or whatever it was in 2020.

    4. Biggest surprise to me: Trump didn’t also pick up Virginia and New Hampshire.

    5. I’m in nyc and I’ve been up since 4pm doomsday scrolling. I don’t blame anyone for getting the hell out of this country now.

    6. This country will not elect a woman. Period, end of story. I’m sick.

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