Coffee Break: Strato Loafers
Driving moccasins have been around for eons but are now trending, and these brand new suede ones from M.Gemi look great for commuting and casual days at the office. (As you may recall, M.Gemi introduces new shoes every Monday, and retires older styles as they sell out — they currently have a ton of great pumps and flats for the office, many of which we've mentioned before.) I'm loving the grape and royal colors (the red and blue ones pictured), as well as the fact that they're designed to mold to your foot — and I also like that you can learn more about the Italian factories and craftsmanship behind each shoe. Lovely. The Strato loafers are $198, available in sizes 35-42. Strato Loafers
(L-all – This post is sponsored by M.Gemi; affiliate links were also used.)
I don’t know, I like moccasins but these look like the shoes I walk my dog in early in the morning/late at night (minus the faux fur lining). But maybe I’m biased, moccasins always make my feet look wide and generally terrible.
I can’t get past moccasins as being shoes you actually leave the house in – whenever I see someone out and about in them, I think “um, I think you forgot to take off your slippers this morning and put on real shoes”. I’ve reached the point where I stop mentally judging about it, but I don’t know that I’ll go there myself anytime soon.
On a positive note, it means the number of choices of what I would consider to be slippers has grown exponentially, and I have a couple of cute pairs of what I would consider slippers but that I think were sold to be worn as actual shoes.
I think removal of faux fur makes all the difference – I LOVE these mocs as a fall weekend shoe, but it looks like they’re not set up for international shipping. Le sigh.
Oh thank goodness, I thought I was being an old.
Moccasins will always be dog-walking/half-asleep shoes to me…I cant imagine wearing them to an office, no matter how casual
Early TJ: I am struggling with seasonal allergies right now. Itchy eyes, sneezing, scratchy throat, fatigue and irritability are wearing me down. I’m taking claritin and Zaditor for my itchy eyes and drinking throat coat tea for the scratchy throat. Any other allergy sufferers out there with tips?
I’ve always found emergen-C to be helpful, also lots of seltzer. Something about the fizz helps.
Claritin (loratadine) – I took it on a regular basis (1 a day in the morning, for example) during allergy season to prevent symptoms from coming on. If I was already getting itchy eyes and a runny nose, it didn’t help.
Sudafed (pseudoephedrine) – I took this to treat symptoms, as it would dry up the runny nose, but then always made me feel stuffy and took away my appetite.
Hard candy (or other food/drink consumption) – as long as I was eating or sucking on a piece of candy my nose wasn’t running (saliva production dampening the histamine response?). Stopped the symptoms without going fuzzy from the Sudafed.
YMMV
Flonase really helps me
This is also important–you need to try to stay in “inside” air. So close your windows, put your car AC on recirculate, avoid taking walks or exercising outside. If you have an AC at your house, make sure the filters are new/clean. If it’s pollen, then this should help a bit.
Also, if you do go outside, change out of those clothes when you come inside, or you will have the pollen on you, setting you off. This really makes a difference if you are very sensitive.
Make sure you are sticking to a strict schedule with the antihisthamines–any gap can mean you get all worked up again.
Talk to your doctor about layering antihisthamines too–my doc lets me do Claritin and Zaditor as long as I drown myself in water, if only for a few days, if things are really bad. Apparently the work in slightly different ways.
Good luck!
I don’t think Claritin does anything. Zyrtec is much better for me. I also find a NetiPot really helpful.
Apparently Claritin just does.not.work for some people. It’s either great or does nothing. It works great for me, but if it doesn’t work for you definitely skip it and take Zyrtec.
I took Claritin for many years and it seemed to work OK, but it doesn’t work for me anymore. I switched to Zyrtec which seems to work better.
Yeah, you need to constantly switch. Try Allegra if Zyrtec makes you too drowsy. Claritin is garbage.
when mine are really bad, I switch to zyertec D. It really helps with congestion and drainage. I’m doing allergy shot treatment right now though, and I am really surprised at the results. It’s a commitment, but if you have really bad allergies, it may be worth looking into.
Cute shoes! I am surprising myself by liking the purple–not usually my color.
We’ve had a lot of house-buying conversations here lately, but I had two questions that I haven’t seen much discussed.
First: has anyone ever purchased a house at auction, foreclosure or otherwise? This probably wouldn’t have been something we’d have seriously considered without the fact that a really lovely home (complete with its own greenhouses!) in our neighborhood was just listed for auction, so we’re really curious about the process.
Second: how do y’all feel about the old “Buy the worst house in the best neighborhood” adage? We’re in a very stratified city with a lot of ongoing development (and ensuing gentrification), so the idea of “best neighborhood” seems a lot harder to pin down. (Some of this is probably also just due to the nature of the city, especially its perennially troubled public schools.)
I would find out more about the auction. Is it a bank-owned house? Or are the sellers just doing this as an alternative to a traditional sale? If the former, it may be sold “as is”. If the latter, you may be bidding against developers and there may be stringent requirements (cash at the auction, etc.) In either case, you should find out the requirements and whether you will be able to meet them.
Best neighborhood – YES. We bought a wreck in a town with good schools and spent the next 2 years (so right before/right after we had kids) fixing it.
Yes to finding out all the rules. We considered it before, both for ourselves and our parents, but (at least in our area) you have to come up with the first 10% or $10,000 on the day of the sale, and then the remainder of the sale price within 30 days. In all this time, you usually can’t even go in to the house, unless you are willing to illegally trespass through a basement window or similar. And even after you have paid in full, there is still an ongoing process before you can actually take possession of the house – for instance, there may still be occupants you have to legally evict, and then legally deal with/dispose of all their stuff. And in the meantime it is also possible that all the copper could be stripped from the house, or the utilities turned off so the basement floods and destroys the furnace and hot water heater, etc.
The law will vary from area to area, but in our area it seems to be a ridiculous pain, and therefore not worth going through unless
1) you have enough money to pay full cash for it
2) you can get it cheap enough that the land and basic structure are worth more than you are paying, because everything else could be ruined by the time you get to actually take possession
3) you aren’t in a hurry
Are shoes like this OK with socks, and if so, what kind? I’m always trying to find decent and comfortable slip-on shoes that can be worn with socks for cold weather. I’m one of those people who will go shoeless absolutely any time that it’s socially acceptable, and I hate being bound up in boots and sneakers all winter long.
Nope, no socks.
No-show socks work, but that doesn’t really help you. (Since I personally find them awkward to wear solo).
I’m the same way and carry a pair of socks in my purse to change into a la Mister Rogers when I reach my destination if I’m wearing sock-free shoes.
Are there hotels in London that are clean and quiet and in an ok neighborhood for under 150 pounds per night?
Try Premier Inns. I recently stayed at the one in Blackfriars / Fleet Street. It’s a bit impersonal, but very clean and a good value.
Seconded. Travelodge is the competing chain in the same price bracket and also good. Don’t bother paying for breakfast though, go to Pret or Starbucks.
For just you, or you plus a significant other, or you plus a platonic roommate?
I *think* this is the place I stayed.
http://www.stgeorgespimlico.com/hotel-location.php
Depending on how long you’ll be there, try a vacation rental flat instead of a hotel. My family and I stayed in a place near the hotel posted above had a great experience renting through New York Habitat (NYHabitat dot com), which has rentals in NY, Paris, London and other places. (We were there maybe 7 or 8 years ago, but a friend used them for an apartment in Paris a couple of years ago and was very happy.) Also try VRBO dot com.
Try Air BNB too. Or a Travelogue might be in budget. Lastminute dot com and LateRooms dot com also have good deals and you can specify price point and postcode/area.
What are folks’ recommendations for books that have really helped them improve their relationships? I read Five Love Languages a several months ago, and realized that it was really helpful for me to get relationship advice from a book – advice from other people makes me feel a little defensive, but reading really allowed me to contemplate the ideas and implement them, and has helped my relationship immeasurably.
I don’t have any particularly pressing challenges in my current relationship, but would love books that have helped you communicate better and be more thoughtful / empathetic to a partner – what I liked best about 5 Love Languages is that it really introduced some different ways of thinking to me. My partner is SUCH a “Gifts” person, which I never really understood prior to reading the book, and it was so helpful to have that viewpoint articulated. I would love other similarly insightful books. Suggestions?
The book that made the biggest difference in my relationship is actually an autobiography – Remember the Sweet Things by Ellen Greene. It taught me perspective that at age 24 I couldn’t yet have had, and really taught me to bring tolerance, appreciation and kindness to my marriage.
+2 for this book – I now keep a running list on my phone of the nice things my husband does for me. It helps put some of the dumb little things that annoy me (like the fact he is physically incapable of hanging up his towel post-shower) into perspective.
I do the same thing, and read the list to him on our anniversary (or whatever day we end up celebrating our anniversary). It usually makes us cry a little, and laugh a lot and definitely reminds us that what we have is worth working for another year.
Purchased!
Thank you! Looks like a great suggestion and my apologies to anyone else who is intrigued by reading this… I think I just purchased the last one in stock on Amazon :)
I got the kindle version. Book club?
Anything by John Gottman is very good. I like The Relationship Cure, which is about all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones.
Also Passionate Marriage and others by Dr. David Schnarch. They focus a lot on sex and are particularly helpful for partners with mismatched sex drives.
Thank you! I was just looking at The Relationship Cure on Amazon – it has some great reviews and I’m glad to hear a recommendation.
I loved “That’s Not What I Meant’ by Deborah Tannen, and I’m getting ready to read “You Just Don’t Understand” next. My husband also read “That’s Not What I Meant,” and we had some really good discussions as a result. It also helped me change routes in the middle of an argument we were having.
How long does it normally take for the Limited to ship an order? I placed an order early last week and still haven’t received a shipping confirmation email which seems odd to me.
usually not long at all – check your spam
Shoes and accessories to wear with this dress (link to follow) to a daytime wedding this month? I prefer golds to silvers and want to keep things under $100.
http://www.loft.com/t-back-trapeze-dress/373128
(in emerald, not white, obviously)
Gorgeous. If I had a good strapless/racerback I’d totally wear this to any autumn wedding. Are you belting it or leaving it flouncy? Is it outdoors/indoors and what’s the temp going to be?
Gold strappy heels and lots of gold bangles. No necklace.
No accessories to recommend, but I love that dress and I wish I had something coming up that I could justify buying it for!
Driving shoes always strike me as a summer shoe.
I have a friend (A) who is being sort of judgmental about another friend (B). I think A and B are closer with each other than I am with B, so I don’t necessarily feel caught in the middle between A and B. But I’m also sort of wondering how I should respond when A starts venting about B because, well, I don’t necessarily think B is being a horrible person. I also think how B conducts her relationships is between B and her boyfriend (for what it’s worth, B is not doing anything scandalous that I know of; I think A just thinks B needs to be more “serious” about her relationships).
There’s probably more backstory to this than I want to go into here, but my question is really this: how can I respond sensitively to A without piling on B or having an argument with A about whether I think B’s behavior is ok? (Also, am I in middle school?)
“Ya know, I’m not super comfortable with this. I think B’s doing just fine and it’s really btwn her and bf anyway. Can we talk about something g more fun like Chris Pratt’s abs?”
You’re right, it probably is that simple. Thanks :)
These don’t look particularly weather-proof on the bottom. What if it rains?
I thought the exact same thing!
1) Has anyone else found that your sleep needs increased as you got older? I’m 40 with small kids if that matters.
2) What planners do you guys like? Thinking of an Erin Condren but $80 is a lot to pay for stickers, but I like all the inserts and I know people love them. I know I could just use stickers with a Moleskine but this one seems more fun.
I’m a big fan of Paperblanks planner. I use a mini (same as Mole pocket size) and have a notebook too. It worked better than a giant planner.
Second Paperblanks. I think their different skins look more refined and grown up and you have better choice of interesting covers (that have a story).
3rd Paperblanks. I have an Erin Condern one right now, and it’s just too big. If you are planning on leaving it on your desk, I guess it’s fine, but I prefer to carry mine everywhere in my purse.
All I know is that I need a lot more sleep than I get. Thanks, small children.
I think it’s the small kids aspect that makes you need more sleep. I’m 40 and my kids are 10-15 and I’ve noticed that I need less sleep lately.
1) Yes. I’m in my early thirties and have realized I need like 9 hours to feel good. No kids here.
2) I am a HUGE fan of Passion Planner. I have the 2015 Compact and I love it. You can go on the website and print out some of the pages to see if it would be good for you. I can’t speak more highly about it.
If Erin Condren is the planner you would use you should get it. I also like the Simplified Planner and To Do List planner. I use Levenger month planners and my outlook planner, and then at work I use the emergent task planner to narrow down to that day.
Levenger Circa Master Planner, the best planner ever, hands down, no questions.
If you live in a major city with a significant Japanese population, there are great planners at Kinokuniya, a bookstore. The months and days are often in English. However, the holidays are Japanese, like the Emperor’s birthday, and the full moon calendar is a day behind.
Finally taking the plunge and trying to find a therapist. The only ones I can find with openings have morning appointments only – and I’m the type of heavy crier whose face is red for an hour or more after any crying. I would be going straight from therapy to work.
Tell me this is not a reason to not proceed. Or tell me to keep looking for someone who can accommodate an afternoon appointment where I could go straight home after?
I’m not sure what type of therapy you are seeking, but my suggestion is to try it out. If your face is red and you’re embarrassed to go to work, no one will comment (if it is a professional office). If they do comment, say your morning workout was a bit too ambitious and then seek out a different therapist or see if one can accommodate you. Please don’t use this as a way to avoid going to therapy.
I should have mentioned that I am seeking therapy to work through grief related to the death of a loved one, so I do expect to cry at every session, at least for a long time.
Definitely go! Worry about how you look later. If your coworkers know a death happened, they’re probably not going to pry if they see you *may* have been upset. The most they’ll do is ask if everything is ok (and a simple yes should suffice). (And I’m sorry for your loss! *hugs*)
When I was in the city, I saw my therapist on my hourlong lunch break, which usually ended up being an hour-and-15, but no one was a clock watcher. Only my closest coworker knew I was going to an “nonnegotiable” medical appointment every Wednesday at noon should someone ever look for me (no one did).
Try: Walking on non-therapy days so you’re frequently flushed/look like you haven’t been in fluorescent lights all day long. Go straight to the restroom either at the therapist, at a Starbucks or at work to freshen up / splash water on your face. Give yourself a bit of time after therapy to “reset,” if you can, to re-focus on work and what must get done. If you can shift work priorities around on therapy days, at least initially, that should help too.
Also, I don’t think every single session will be a huge sobfest. It might be – I don’t know what you’re going to talk about! Or how easily you cry – but in general I don’t think that’s the point.
This is definitely not a reason not to proceed. If you are recently bereaved you have every right to cry and be red in the face, and people will be decent enough not to comment on it.
Worst case, start with somebody who has availability and keep looking for a therapist with better hours or see if you can get the person you start with to fit you in at a better time after you’ve been with them for a while.
You could go to the therapy appointment with no makeup. And then apply your makeup (especially foundation, even if you don’t normally wear it) immediately after in the bathroom or your car. You’d be amazed at how even a somewhat sheer foundation or tinted moisturizer can cut down on the appearance of redness. And a drop of visine in each eye, plus some mascara and you’ll be close enough to normal that it’s unlikely anyone would notice (and even more unlikely that they’d care).
+1 to the visine, mascara
If anyone asks….. “Allergies”
I bring make up with me on therapy days, just in case. I’m an ugly crier and my face swells up, including my eyelids, which look like big puffy purple slugs on my face after I’ve been crying for a while. I always leave work and come back and no one’s ever said anything. I just started a few months ago (not for the first time, but after a long absence) and I am having such a positive experience with it so far. I wish I didn’t wait so long to start (dragging my feet with everything: “oh, appointment times are inconvenient, its expensive, it’s far from work, I don’t want to find a therapist, I don’t have time, I can’t leave work, I’m not *that* depressed/anxious (lol)). You owe it to yourself to go if you are moved to. Don’t let this stop you, please.
Put your makeup on afterwards like you would if you were going to the gym!
How did you choose your therapist? Did you seek recommendations or did you get a list from insurance and go from there?
Also, keep in mind that you can start with a therapist at a not-great appointment time and let the therapist know you would like to switch to a different time slot if it opens up.