This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I thought this was Missoni when it first popped up in my Shop It To Me email — but this cashmere, space-dyed tank top is all Michael Kors. I love the vibrant green and think it would be a great tank to wear as either a base piece beneath a blazer or as a top layer/vest over a button-front blouse. It was $450 but is now marked to $180. Michael Kors Cashmere Space Dye Tank Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Paging Pregnant-with-twins Anonymous
I left a comment this morning on your TJ from yesterday’s coffee break thread, but figured you might not see it, so I want to leave you with this:
Your children will never ever be lonely, because they will have each other. Your children will learn quickly because they will have the benefit of learning from their twin’s mistakes as well as their own. Your children will be less susceptible to peer pressure because their closest peer will have been raised in the same family with the exact same values. Your children will be a source of unconditional love and support for each other in moments when you can’t be there. Don’t freak out – it will be the best blessing you never asked for!
Anon2
+1. I didn’t read the original post. I always wanted to have twins(don’t have kids yet) for all the reasons you mentioned above. The other reason is I can use all my unused vacation and a sabbatical to stay at home with both the kids for at least six months which is difficult to do two singletons without them being 6 – 8 years apart. I also will be just one maternity break, so less impact career wise.
Anonymous
OP here. Thanks for the reassurance. Definitely one of the biggest surprises of my entire life! I was planning to go back to work after the (one) baby was born but this totally changes things. I probably won’t go back, which makes me sad because I really like my job. I just don’t know that it’s worth the stress. I can’t imagine going back to work full-time and getting up in the middle of the night to take care of not 1 but 2 babies. We’d need a nanny for the day and for the night. I figured out that a nanny for the day full time would be around $30 – $32k per year which we could swing but then add the night and it’s not really worth it. And at that point, it’s like why have kids if you have to have a nanny take care of them all day and night. We’d be just fine without me working which I am SO grateful for.
RR
Don’t know if you are still reading responses, but you are being way more pessimistic about how things will go than you should be. I went back to work when my twins were 8 weeks old (as a full-time litigator). By that time, they were waking up at regular times once or twice a night, and it was totally doable. By twelve weeks, my daughter was sleeping through the night (12 hours), and my son was waking once. By a few months, both were sleeping through the night (12 hours) without waking or needing to eat. Aside from the first 4-5 weeks, I never had an issue, contemplated needing a night nanny, etc. Yes, you will need care while at work during the day, but you are highly unlikely to need overnight care by the time you go back to work. If you want to stay at home, by all means do, but you will not *need* or likely even want or have any use for a night nanny. Stay home because you want to, not because you are scared of some worst case scenario (I know a LOT of moms of twins, and none of them have ever had a night nanny. A night nurse to help with the first month or so? Sure. But not a long term night nanny.)
Anonymous
Thanks for reassurance. You’re right – I’m probably being crazy. I definitely haven’t made any definitive decisions at this point. When I tell my boss I’m pregnant I’m going to tell him that I plan on coming back. I will make up my mind later – you never know how life is going to go….as proven to me this week!
Red Beagle
This top is gorgeous. On me, unfortunately, the pattern would point to my b@@bs, an area I prefer not to emphasize in my professional life. However, if you’re a ruler shape and want the optical illusion of curves, this is probably perfect!
anon99
This I love, cannot afford it, but love it.
Hair stylists in DC
Can anyone recommend a metro-accessible stylist in the $50-60 range who very clearly understands what “keep the length” means… bonus points if we don’t have to spend the hour talking about my non-existent love life.
Wildkitten
Mine is out of your price range, but some topics I talk to my hairdresser about include – dogs, cats, apartments, neighborhoods, not buying property, family, small businesses, domestic travel, the new Costco.
Anon
My conversations with my hairdresser are about 30% cooking/restaurants, 30% travel, 30% television shows, and 10% misc. My SO only comes up in context.
DontBlameTheKids
I spend more than that, because I have almost waist-length hair and I don’t trust many people not to make it awful, but I tried Bang Salon once and it was good. Can’t remember who the stylist was, though.
Lady Tetra
I go to Bang Salon at Verizon. I’ve had Sue and Leanne, both are good.
Jennifer
I had a terrible haircut with David there (well, the cut was “fine”, just not what I asked for).
Blondies in Adams Morgan is more expensive ($80 ish including tip), but it was the best haircut I’ve ever had and she listened. I think her name was Elena, I remember she was Romanian but we didn’t talk much.
Anonymous
I use Ryan at the Verizon location- very good.
Bonnie
+1 for Bang. My stylist, Roberto, is awesome but may be slightly above your price range. Other stylists there are cheaper though.
SH
I have curly hair, so I go to Fiddleheads (2 locations, one at Dupont and the other off the NY Ave. Metro). It’s a bit more expensive, but if you don’t have curly hair then they might do it cheaper.
The last appointment we talked about the salon, since it had just expanded. Other times we talk about the neighborhoods, her family, my family, etc. And sometimes it just lapses into comfortable silence.
Anonymous
What’s different about cutting curly hair? I have ringlet-esque curls down to my waist and I just get the $10 cut at the low end places. It’s not a complicated cut (framing of the face and all one length in the back), and I don’t have it dyed or anything else done to it. Should I see a legit stylist or one that specifically knows how to cut curly hair? What makes that worth it to you?
Jdubs
Maybe waist length curly hair has enough weight to way it down, but curly hair is very complicated to cut by a stylist who doesn’t know your hair type/curl pattern. I have shoulder length curly hair and I am a devotee of the Deva/Curly girl method. ( I go to Devachan in NYC). Most stylists not familiar with curly hair will wash and then cut. From the Deva website “Curly hair and its spring factor can be misinterpreted while wet- that’s why we cut the hair in its natural form, while dry, curl by curl.” I can’t tell you how many bad cuts I had by stylists cutting my curly hair wet before I discovered Deva – then when it dries BAM huge round frizzball.
Pesh
Curly hair is going to lay differently than straight hair and that should be taken into consideration when layering/shaping. If you don’t have layers, etc, it may not be as key for you, but I’d give it a try.
SH
My hair is similar to yours in texture, but it’s much shorter (I don’t let it get longer than bottom of shoulders), and it’s layered. What I’ve found is that because the curls change depending on how long the cut is and where they are on my head, it really makes a difference with the layers. I’ve had non-curly stylists cut it how they cut straight hair, and then the sides are totally different lengths (a 2-inch difference sometimes) because they didn’t take into account the curl and how it would dry. Or the length was taken into account, but not the weight. Or the one section that is straight-straight will hang out from the rest of my head (think the First Lady of Cameroon, but my hair’s not quite as big).
For yours, it sounds like the weight of your hair may be enough to keep it all in line since it’s so long. But if you wanted to chop it or do anything different, I would definitely recommend going to a place or person that really knows curly hair.
kellyandthen
I love Nekenya at PR at Partners Mazza, and my friend loves the salon in Bethesda that’s across from Taylor Gourmet and just below Down Dog Yoga. I will say that Nekenya loves to cut hair, so you may have a harder time with “keep the length,” but my friend’s stylist in Bethesda really has kept the length and given her gorgeous shape.
Rachelellen
Kay at Bravado on a Cap Hill, by Eastern Market. Tell her the girl with texturized hair sent you. : )
Alanna of Trebond
No recommendation for you, but my favorite salons are where the stylist says nothing to me during the haircut (or during whatever other procedure I’m getting).
Char
Same here. I hate having to chit-chat.
Samantha
Same here. I usually bring a book to discourage conversation.
CountC
+1
Red Beagle
+1. I’d rather sit and zone out or knit or read.
Flying Squirrel
Tracy at Silk Salon Spa. Just above the Court House metro (only 2 stops from DC proper).
Red Beagle
Anyone ever wear Gabor shoes? I’m thinking of something similar to these (link follows) which are available on Zu lill y today.
Red Beagle
http://www.gaborshoes.co.uk/womens-c1/shoes-c2/gabor-arnica-black-suede-court-shoes-p17538
Ellie
I own 2 pairs. Both of them weren’t very comfortable out the box, but one turned out to be comfy after putting in a weight shifting insole, and the other one keeps being uncomfortable whatever I do. It is a Mary Jane however, so the added strap prevents the shoe slipping from the heel and saved it. One was 2.5, one was 3.0 high. Generally I think their lower heeled shoes are more comfortable than mid or high heeled options, so your shoe might be one the more comfortable side.
Quality has been decreasing over the last recent years, but the leather made ones tend to be more sturdy. The heel holds up well, either, however, all my Gabor heels are incredibly loud.
Red Beagle
Great feedback, thanks. Most of their styles look Euro-chic or matronly, depending on your perspective, but the heeled pointy toed ones seemed to have possibilities. Sounds like the comfort factor may not be as great as it would appear.
Anonymous
This looks like something to wear to a yoga class at Lululemon, not to the office.
lawsuited
Ah yes, but it’s made of cashmere not luon and therein lies the difference.
Wildkitten
I think it could look professional styled with a suit – but not by itself as shown.
nutella
I agree. I definitely thought it was a workout top!
Orangerie
And either way, it is ugly.
HSAL
Yep and yep.
Anon
Well, my best actually work-out and don’t skip it tip is to wear as much of my workout gear under my work clothes so it’s easy to change at the end of the day. This means wearing a sports bra/black workout top under a blazer w/ a scarf on top so you can’t really tell what I’m wearing.
Oxfords
I’m looking for recommendations for seriously-comfortable oxfords. I walk to work and I’ve decided I need to prioritize arch support and comfortable soles for my poor feet, and flats are not doing it for me. I’d like to spend under $200 as it’s my first foray into oxfords. I have no strong colour preference – black, cognac, navy, silver, rose gold, cobalt, red, fuscia – any colour but chocolate brown would be lovely in my wardrobe.
tesyaa
Not sure if you want something more sporty or something with a more dressy look. If you want something on the sporty side, try Ecco. Prices are under $200.
Oxfords
I was hoping for something more dressy than sporty so I feel good wearing them with my pant suits and seperates. I meet other lawyers and sometimes clients on my walk to work so want to look put together.
tesyaa
This one’s not a lace-up oxford; however, I tried it on in a local store and it has a lot of support.
http://www.amazon.com/Etienne-Aigner-Womens-Kira-Black/dp/B007R2LDWS/ref=sr_1_8?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1407341750&sr=1-8&keywords=etienne+aigner
Anonymous
Cole Haan has some, although for comfort on walking to work I still vote sneakers!
Grumpy
+1. I am an unrepentant sneaker commuter. I keep a pair of nice black flats at my desk and change when I get in. The sneakers look silly with nice outfits (doubly so because I wear large athletic sneakers), but I am much more comfortable. I’m also inclined to walk more instead of taking public transit, since it is no longer uncomfortable to walk long distances.
Anonymous
It was hearing my dad talk about arriving at the office on September 11, only to have to immediately leave and walk 50 blocks, that has made me unjudgy about sneakers.
Wildkitten
Someone on this blog suggested having a spare pair of sneakers at your desk just in case, and so now I do.
mascot
When I worked in a high-rise office, I always kept shoes that would work in the event of an evacuation or fire drill.
Anon
+1. Depending on how you commute, it’s a good idea to keep a pair of sneakers, socks, a tshirt, pants, and a sweatshirt in your office or the trunk of your car. You just never know when you may need to walk a long distance unexpectedly.
Anonymous
I have a little emergency bag with comfy shoes and socks, emergency blanket, light, face mask, $100 in small bills, band aids, water, and aspirin to grab and go under my desk.
Blonde Lawyer
Also consider having a portable cell phone battery. I was stranded in Boston for a bit after the marathon bombing. I had been using my cell phone as GPS all day and the battery ended up dying while I was still trying to connect with people/arrange a way out of the city. There was also very little info so most people were getting their updates from Smartphones. At times, texting was the only way to communicate because calls weren’t getting through.
I now keep a “mycharge” with me so I can always charge my phone even if I don’t have access to an outlet or power and I don’t even need to carry a wire because it has the cord built in.
http://www.mycharge.com/products/hub-3000
TCFKAG
I just recently got a pair of “Restricted” oxfords (in navy blue and brown) at TJ Maxx for wearing with trousers and commuting and they are pretty comfortable – though I don’t have particularly problematic feet. I also have a gorgeous pair of high heeled oxford brogues (I think is what they were called) from Boden that I’m pretty sure came in a flat version as well and they are basically the most comfortable higher heeled shoes I’ve ever had – so I have to imagine the flats would be comfy too.
Re: the commuter shoe convo – the same day at the Maxx I got a pair of pink Dr. Scholl’s sneakers that look not AS athletic as running shoes, but are way more comfortable then Keds or regular flats. A nice in between shoe for those looking for something like that.
TCFKAG
Ah, here is the link for a flat version of the brogues. Obviously I’d go with the tan over the patent leather or silver…but you do you as they say.
http://www.bodenusa.com/en-US/Clearance/Womens-Shoes-Boots/Flats/AR606-TAN/Womens-Tan-The-Lace-Up.html
Medic Maggie
I love those so much. I would LOVE to have a pair in a heel. Would make winter dressing up without wearing actual heels so much easier. Nice find, and thanks for sharing!
Oxfords
These are perfect. I actually love all the colours and am now having difficulty deciding! You truly are the personal shopper queen, TCFKAG.
Medic Maggie
Keen has some not-ugly ones out there, and they cannot be beaten for comfort and durability. If you really are itching for something more dressy-looking, I’d be looking at Clarks for sure. Merrells also have cute/comfy shoes. Naturalizer, Sofft, SoftStyle & the like. 6 PM and the Zap have filter choices for “Comfort”. Sometimes it brings you the orthopedic shoes, but there are some gems to be had as well.
And, there was someone who posted yesterday on the “are flats professional” post that basically said she wore flats because she DOES THINGS. Me too. I walk up and down a flight of stairs probably 6-8 times a day, and that’s in my office alone. I travel back and forth between the 3 buildings in our complex, across 2 streets, and a quarter mile to our parking area. Sometimes I have field inspections, but that’s also why I keep running shoes & Red Wings in my office too.
Reading this bit about 9/11 makes me reinforce my decision to wear functional, rather than fashionable shoes. Sure, my flats can be fashionable, and my heels can be comfortable. But, more often than not, I’d rather be in a pair of shoes I can run in if I need to. As a medic (a volunteer at that), I can be called upon at any point to respond to the most earth-shattering of events. (And I have, but that’s a topic for another day). I don’t respond daily to routine calls, but for the big ones, I want to be able to be prepared. So, now I keep duty boots, coveralls, and my job shirt in my car. I think the above-topic would actually make a GREAT blog post in and of itself. Are you listening, Kat?
publichealthprof
I love these Clarks loafers – not sure if they are the style you are looking for but everyone always comments on how nice they are. SUPER comfortable. http://www.clarksusa.com/eng/product/dunbar_racer/26063824
M
I love the Cole Haan wingtip Oxfords, which come in all sorts of fun colors if you can get away with it at work. I walk a lot and have found them to be extremely comfortable and pretty durable.
Anonymous
Born has some really comfortable oxfords. I have their Mott oxfords and they are great.
DontBlameTheKids
I don’t like the design, but I love love love the color. I’m suddenly seeing that dark green/teal color everywhere for pre-fall, and I’m more excited about it than I should be.
Equity's Darling
Has anyone ever had custom made shoes?
I’ve been eyeing a pair of Poppy Barley shoes for a while- they’re a bit pricey, but I visit their city frequently enough that I could have them custom size me in store.
ss
I get shoes from an old-school Roman maker which takes special orders for size and colour within their fairly limited range of super-classic styles, if they don’t have what you want in their shop. But the shoes are made off a standard last, not one customized for each buyer, so not custom-made in that sense. They are perhaps 200 euros for a pair of pumps, not too pricey in relation to ‘designer’ shoes.
BB
I get shoes from an old-school Roman maker which takes special orders for size and colour within their fairly limited range of super-classic styles, if they don’t have what you want in their shop. But the shoes are made off a standard last, not one customized for each buyer, so not custom-made in that sense. They are perhaps 200 euros for a pair of pumps, not too pricey in relation to ‘designer’ shoes.
cbackson
I like this, but I $30 at TJ Maxx like it, not $180 at Neiman-Marcus like it.
kellyandthen
My thoughts exactly. I’m sure I’ve seen something exactly like this at the Teej, too.
Anon
So, life’s been pretty crazy lately and my 5th anniversary has totally snuck up on me. It’s this weekend. Thoughts on what I can do to make it special on short notice? We have a new baby, and my sister has offered to babysit in case we want to go to dinner on sunday night but…besides that I’m totally uninspired. I have just been so busy trying to keep it (life) together between working and the baby that this snuck up.
Anon
My husband and I celebrated one time by getting a couples massage and then spending time in a private outdoor hot tub and sauna after going out for a fancy dinner. It was so relaxing and was a great way to spend time together doing something that we couldn’t do with the baby.
Anonymous
I’m feeling like a broken record here, but wine, dinner out, and sex with new lingerie seems to about cover it, n’est pas? With a thoughtful note on a nice card and a bottle of his beverage of choice if you’re gift people? It will be special because you’ve been married. 5 years and you’re having a night out without the baby!
Anon in ATX
+ 1 We just celebrated our 7 year anniversary by getting dressed up and going to eat/drink wine at a brazillian steakhouse. My mom watched our 9 month old and it was special enough just to be sans baby for the night
Babette
French fail.
Anastasia
ha, I didn’t realize my 5 year anniversary is coming up until I read your post and did the math…
I’ll probably forget again until the week before. And even if I don’t, dinner+wine without the baby sounds like a great plan to me. I think that’s what we did last year (although I honestly do not remember, because baby survival mode).
pregomama
I need a gut check. I’m the first in my circle of friends as well as within my family/extended family to have a baby. Someone asked me when (not even “if”) I will be sending out invitations to the baby’s first birthday. Baby doesn’t turn one until early november. Is this a wedding-esque event where invites must be sent weeks in advance? I was honestly planning to have a cake and see who was around to blow out candles, not plan some big thing.
Orangerie
If I were planning a birthday party I would probably try to let guests know a few weeks in advance (2 or 3 at most). Several months seems very excessive.
Anon
You do you. FWIW, your idea sounds lovely :) but I think that some people believe that if you don’t Pinterest the sh*t out of your baby’s 1st birthday, it doesn’t count. Which is great for them! Again, you do you. Ours will be similarly low-key.
pregomama
My mother has already asked me about the theme. I replied, “balloons and crepe paper?” and she had this look of horror on her face.
kellyandthen
Baby Turns 1 is a great theme, too ;)
Clementine
Theme suggestion: Survivor
’cause it’s really for the parents moreso than the baby.
Medic Maggie
The first birthday (and second, and third, for that matter) for both of our kids was more about parents getting together and throwing all the kids in the back yard than an actual “birthday party”
We have a pocket park across the street from our house. We did both boys’ first birthdays there. (Maybe second too?). This year, both boys (turning 4 and 6) had birthdays in our back yard with burgers on the grill. Invited a friend or two from school (+parents), and then all of our circle of friends with kids the same age. Honestly, it was probably the most laid-back and happy party we have had. Both boys just loved it.
Last year, we rented a national forest group campsite (reservation from noon-noon overnight), and let the kids run in the field & play in the creek. Roasted marshmallows & hot dogs. It was a party for the younger, but the oldest said “I want to do this EVERY year!” Probably the best $35 we’ve ever spent.
Medic Maggie
what portion of this needs moderation??
tesyaa
Maybe the e t t in g e t t ing? That’s all I can think of.
Anonymous
The second half of this word: camp____
Meg Murry
Any chance the person asking was either your mother or someone who was talking to your mother about this not-existant-yet party? Or has your mother been creating a “baby’s first birthday” pinterest board, which made the person think you and she were already deep in birthday planning?
Or an out-of-town friend/relative looking to travel back home and thought they may as well come for when you’re having the party if she’s close to you/baby? This is happening in my family right now – cousin’s were planning to come visit family this summer, and decided to do it over the 1st birthday weekend.
But yes, ugh. Our themes have definitely been “baby’s first birthday” and “balloons and crepe paper”. In fact, my son’s favorite gift of his first birthday was the helium balloons tied to his highchair – he played with them for hours, and pretty much ignored everything and everyone else at his birthday, unless they were playing balloons with him.
PinkKeyboard
People are psyco about bdays now… I know people planning 6 months in advance and spending far beyond their means. Kudos to you for having a normal birthday! They were probably expecting a ridiculous big overblown thing.
Need to Improve
Please don’t pay attention to those people. They are the same types of people who are going to ask you when you are having another kid, when you are starting soccer lessons, etc. You do not NEED to have a party. And your kid has no idea it is his or her birthday. Soon enough, your own kid will be begging you to have a party and invite all his or her friends. Until then, enjoy the fact that you do not have to do anything you do not feel like doing!
That said, you can do something fun FOR YOU if you want to. For my first kid’s first birthday, I invited a bunch of friends (some with kids, some without) to a pinic brunch. I bought a bunch of delicious food and we sat around drinking mimosas and talking. It was a celebration of me, for me–for having survived that first year. My kid was mostly cranky for lack of nap, ate a cupcake, and passed out. There were no activities, party favors, balloons, kid-themed plates, invitations, gaggles of kids, or anything like that, and it was great.
Some people may want to do all that stuff, but I certainly did not, and I had a great time.
Do what you want for yourself.
HSAL
I think a party for you is really great. Love it.
Medic Maggie
+1
Wildkitten
I can’t keep track of the timing of other people’s lives – so maybe your friend doesn’t remember exactly when your baby was born, and just vaguely thought it was in the fall and doesn’t know that it’s November not September.
Anon
I do not have kids, but I’ve been invited to a LOT of first birthday parties in the last few years. I honestly think it’s pretty crazy how big and crazy some of these parties are. I actually know someone who invited more people to their kid’s first birthday party than their wedding! They sent out invitations months in advance. I’ve had friends ask other friends who have a 5 month old what the theme of their first birthday party will be. I grew up in a family where birthday parties were for family and maybe a few close friends. I don’t understand this trend where we have big blowouts for one year olds who will obviously never remember it. It seems like a gift grab to me when it gets big.
Now that I’ve gone off on a tangent, to answer your question, if you’re just doing a regular party, I see no reason why you need to give more than a few weeks notice.
tesyaa
Call me Wilma Flintstone. Twenty-one years ago we moved into a new house the same week as our daughter’s first birthday. A few weeks later we had our parents and a few close relatives over for a combined BD/housewarming party. It involved lunch and birthday cake. We didn’t have Pinterest then and I thank my lucky stars for that.
ANP
Wilmaaaaaaaaa! Love this.
Anonymous
Just wanted to add – some cultures ascribe significant to ceremonies at / around the first birthday, which often end up being big events friends and family are invited to. (I’m thinking of annaprashan, doljanchi, or even in some circles, christening and baptism done around that age.) If your friend comes from a cultural tradition that does bigger parties, they may think it’s perfectly normal to inquire as to what you have planned (they also could think you ought to be planning “My Super Sweet First Birthday” of course!)
JJ
My second son is turning one this month. I sent out the e-vites (gasp!) about a month before the actual date of the party. So far, I’ve bought party supplies from Party City in his theme (First Birthday! creative!). I will buy platters of food from a restaurant that we love and provide wine, booze, sodas, and water to guests. Other than a cute cake for the baby to smash a piece of, my planning doesn’t involve much more than that.
I think 1-year old is the only birthday party where you get to do what *you* want to do and just make a party with booze that happens to also celebrate your baby…
HM
Its a kid’s birthday party. IMHO, keep it a kid’s birthday party. Back in the day, I loved sending out the fill in the blank invitations. Translation to our electronic world today: A cute e-vite (I like punchbowl) is all that is really necessary.
Enjoy, and take lots of pictures of the cupcake/cake/pie smash.
TCFKAG
The baby’s first birthday seems to be increasingly becoming kind of a big family/friends type party where everyone gets together and celebrates baby’s existence – maybe because things like christenings have become less common? I think you really should do however big or small a party as you want … don’t be roped in by the baby-birthday-industrial-complex. ;-)
Oh…and I agree with above that 2-3 weeks before the party is fine unless you are inviting out-of-town relatives, in which case I’d give them more notice (I am the out-of-town aunt for these things and I’d love a bit longer lead time on things like “the kids are performing in a play next weekend, can you come?”) And also, if you want to do email invites you should check out the new fancier ones from “postmark” and similar – I used it for my birthday last year and they were well worth the $10 or whatever I paid.
Anon
I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. I really like having family and friends over for our kids’ first birthday parties, because we don’t get to see everyone all together very often and as the kids have gotten older they want to have parties where it is not feasible to invite everyone. Also, as they get older I really try to make their party a celebration of them and to really make them feel special, so the first birthday is kind of a chance to celebrate the baby and the fact that we made it through the first year! Plus I love looking back at the pictures. But I send out invitations about 2 weeks in advance, serve lunch and cake and that is about it.
RR
I am doing a party for my daughter’s first. Basically, we are having people to our house for a barbecue and cake and ice cream, but it has a simple theme with some minor decorations. I also sent paper invites, just because I wanted to. It’s become a little tradition for me to send nice printed invites for my kids’ first birthdays (after which it becomes evites or whatever the bounce house place supplies). The whole thing is more for me. We are just inviting family and super close friends–so will be around 20 people. I didn’t even start thinking about it until a month before. Do whatever makes you happy. There are no “rules” for this.
Anon
I like paper invites because they’re adorable and now have an old fashioned quality to them. I also don’t mind evites whatsoever. And I’ve never, ever, ever, ever judged a parent for keeping a kids’ birthday party low key. No one has ever said, “hey, remember that 1st birthday party we went to last weekend. It was amazing how the pattern on the napkin matched the underside of the cups.” All that ever matters is good cake. For parties and for life. :)
RR
Amen. The cake for this first birthday party is epic, but that’s because cake and I have a long, happy relationship.
tesyaa
My SIL cast a pall over my niece’s first birthday party (and I told her this to her face) by serving an organic homemade banana birthday cake WITH NO FROSTING. She learned her lesson.
RR
That’s unforgiveable.
Anon
Something small is lovely. It’s what we did, and it suited us. I asked the must-have folks about six weeks ahead of time only because the birthday falls in the summer when so many people are busy. Notified by email. Celebrate in a way that is comfortable and fun to you. My invite list consisted of family and a few friends who were closest to me and my LO.
back to school
Thank you all for your very thoughtful responses & ideas. Sounds like, from the majority, the best way to accomplish everything without pulling out our hair is strict lights-out time, and earlier betimes in general. I have no doubt that the bedtime shift will not be difficult. I am hopeful that we can accommodate a lights-out/reading in bed ONLY policy that will help keep them regular.
Thanks a bunch, everyone.
tesyaa
I think the first grader will adjust easily to the earlier bedtime once he’s no longer napping, and it sounds like the younger one is already more willing to go to sleep early. I’m sure you will be OK.
Meg Murry
Can I suggest dragging them out of bed earlier too, and planning activities that physically exhaust them? That’s what we’re starting this week. In my experience, the only way to get my kids to go to bed earlier is to get them up earlier (closer to the time they will need to for school). Planning lots of running around activities during the day to wear them out as well helps too – can you ask the nanny to get them lots of extra playground/outdoor time after nap? The pool works well for this too.
back to school
Our nanny does a really good job of this. Today is an early playdate, earlier lunch/nap, then pool for the rest of the afternoon. The past month or so, she’s had one big activity daily. Some days 2. And, we have a big fenced back yard that they do love to play in.
I really, really do appreciate all the insight. There are plenty of you who have far more experience than me. Now I just need to find a window of time to brainstorm/hash out with the hubs how we’re going to implement all of this.
tesyaa
What’s the benefit of the nap for the older kid? Honestly, most of my kids refused to nap after age 2.5 or so, and when they did, they had trouble settling down at night. Is it for the benefit of the kid, or for the nanny to be able to handle other tasks?
back to school
I do believe that naps benefit everyone. A lot of times, he reads, plays legos, or similar quiet activities in his room, often falls asleep mid-task. They’re not always lengthy naps, but we do try to enforce quiet time for a few hours in the afternoon. He will not get it at all during the school day, and we did see that by evening last year in kindergarten, he was just tuckered out–and bedtimes/evening routine was easier & earlier. I do fully expect that will be the case once we get back into the swing of things in a few weeks. He does need a break from his wide-open brother, and I do think that it is nice for our nanny to be able to take a break too. Her sanity is worth it to us! I have a feeling that if he were allowed to play more than just quiet time in his room, we’d never get the little one to nap, and he does need it. He is a grouchy, whiny, tantrum-throwing mess on the heels of a long day without a nap. We didn’t experience so much the terrible twos or threes, but we have seen the Effing Fours in both our kids…There are some days when one or both of them will just flat-out refuse to sleep, and play (sometimes not so quietly) through that time, only to reveal a crazed monster-child come about 6/7 pm.
And, on the weekends, it is our only chance to recharge during the day to be able to continue to tackle the rest. I will at least get in bed with my ipad or a book, sometimes sleep, sometimes not. But that still quiet house while everyone is at least resting is golden.
tesyaa
I get it, and I think you’re knowingly making a tradeoff for quiet time in the day vs. quiet time in the late evenings. It’s hard to get both :)
Anonymous
We often talk about how women are disproportionately asked “how they balance work/family.” I found this blog post by a male startup CEO about why he is moving on from his role really refreshing to read – and hope it spurs more conversations about men needing to balance work and family, just as much as women do.
Link in reply
Anonymous
http://maxschireson.com/2014/08/05/1137/
hoola hoopa
That was really great.
Spirograph
Loved it.
Yellow
I’m just starting a new job and am meeting a ton of people and need some tricks on how to remember everyone’s names. Half the time I introduce myself and am in the middle of a conversation with someone new and I realize I never quite caught their name. I remember all the details (school, department, etc.) but their name escapes me! Any tricks?
nutella
I find full names MUCH easier to remember (especially with men’s names); after all, how many Michaels and Pauls do you know? Try repeating the name back to them once they say it, “Oh Hi, Susan, nice to meet you. I’m Jane.” Another trick is to imagine their name written on their forehead or tie or something in a unique script. If you are meeting a lot all at once, you will have to actively work at this instead of just passively having conversations. And if it is a true deluge where you are meeting 12 new people and they are just meeting you, it’s perfectly ok to circle back and say “Remind me your name, I remember you went to Princeton, but I’ve met so many people tonight…” and then continue chatting like normal.
hoola hoopa
Ditto repeating the name – and knowing that it’s perfectly acceptable and understandable to ask for their name again later. I like to ask the next time when we’re one-on-one because I have an easier time locking it into memory.
Anon
Celebrity/famous person association (e.g. Jennifer becomes “Jennifer Aniston” in my head)
Coach Laura
Also, as an alternative to remembering a celebrity association (Jennifer Aniston) I relate it to friends/relatives. Example – Tom becomes Tom like my brother in law, Cindy like my best friend etc.
I have also used floor plans and org charts with success.
Meg Murry
Worst case, is there some kind of company directory or org chart where you can look people up by department once you get back to your desk? That way you can say, “OK, it was someone in accounting. The directory shows Bob, Sue, Jane and Bill work in accounting. That’s right, her name was Jane”
A floorplan with people’s names and where their offices are might also provide you with the list of names to pick from to see if one jogs your memory.
Hel-lo
I’m totally avoiding a ranty email from opposing counsel. It’s an issue I need to deal with today, but I hate it. I had such a good relationship with this OC before, but now it has devolved and we are stuck hating each other. Grr.
Anon
This is the worst. Once a relationship with OC is tainted, it’s always hard to go back. Just know that you’ll feel better once the task is accomplished, however it turns out.
Switching from Quantity to Quality
I’ve always been a big shopper, and as I’ve gotten older and my income has increased, I’ve increased both the quality and quantity of what I buy. I rarely splurge on designer stuff, but appreciate natural fabrics over synthetics and can definitely tell when things are higher quality. I now have enough clothes to get me through for a while and don’t really need any skirts/jeans/suits/dresses/shoes/tops, etc. I’d like to focus on switching to purchasing 1-2 big impact items per year and nothing else. I am thinking along the lines of riding boots, a great coat, a really nice bag. So, obviously, I know that I should stop buying “one-off” items and instead save my money for the bigger purchases, but how do I know when I’ve found the “one” that I want to buy? I’m thinking that I first need to determine the look I want to achieve and then identify the item(s) that achieve that look. I’d also ideally like to see anything I purchase in person, but that’s not always feasible since I don’t live in an area with high end department stores. So, I need to either plan a trip to NYC (or similar) where I can try a lot on, or I need to buy and return a lot. The first option seems better because I can try a ton of things on.
Veronica Mars
Great approach so far–I’d definitely sit down and decide what kind of style/aesthetic/inspiration you want your wardrobe to have. Think about things like who’s your style icon–I find this can be really helpful if I’m shopping and can ask myself: “Is this something Kate Middleton would wear?” But in general, I don’t think it will be too hard to do this online. I think the big thing is that each piece should really speak to you. Take your time, figure out what you want, and when you see whatever makes your heart sing, get it. And then return if it’s not 100% perfect.
Bonnie
I’ve done this somewhat by replacing items I use frequently to higher quality versions, e.g. trench coat, wrap dresses and boots. That way, I know that the item I am purchasing is something that actually fits into my life.