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Thursday’s Workwear Report: Midi Studio Cupro Bodycon Dress

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A woman in a purple bodycon dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I’m absolutely swooning over the color of this deep purple sheath dress from Torrid. Black and gray are the easiest options for winter, but sometimes we just need a jewel tone to brighten up the day. I would add a black blazer and some simple jewelry for a more formal office or some textured tights and boots for a more casual look.

The dress is on sale for $67.57 (marked down from $79.50) and comes in Torrid sizes 00–6, which are roughly equivalent to a size M–6X. The dress also comes in black and “deep black.” (Don’t ask me what the difference is, I’m just as confused as you.)

Sales of note for 3/21/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off: Free People, AllSaints, AG, and more
  • Ann Taylor – 25% off suiting + 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – $39+ dresses & jumpsuits + up to 50% off everything else
  • J.Crew – 25% off select linen & cashmere + up to 50% off select styles + extra 40% off sale
  • J.Crew Factory – Friends & Family Sale: Extra 15% off your purchase + extra 50% off clearance + 50-60% off spring faves
  • M.M.LaFleur – Flash Sale: Get the Ultimate Jardigan for $198 on sale; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Buy 1 get 1 50% off everything, includes markdowns

383 Comments

  1. What are your favorite not-too-sweet Starbucks drinks that still feel fun and festive?

    1. Unsweetened matcha latte. Nothing particularly seasonal about this other than the color but I love matcha year-round anyhow.

      1. Same, or I get hot lattes instead of iced, lol. The sweeteners all taste like artificial junk to me…if I’m going to have added sugar I rather just have ice cream!

    2. I get the seasonal lattes but tell them to only put 1 pump of the syrup. I don’t like how sweet the drinks are, but it’s nice to have the flavor.

    3. You can get drinks at coffee shops “half sweet” almost always – basically they only use half the syrup in the drink. I do this all the time :)

    4. I ask for the ‘festive’ drink with fewer pumps of syrup. So if the normal is 3, I ask for 1 and that is the perfect sweetness, IMO!

      1. Yes, I do this! Or a standard drink but with the ‘Christmas blend’ of coffee

    5. You can order a regular cold brew with peppermint cold foam, it’s like a peppermint mocha but much less sweet.

    6. I know it’s not a holiday special, but a nonfat chai latte always feels warm and wintry without being too sweet at all.

      1. I love SB Chai latte but it has a ton of sugar in it. I reduce the pumps and add SF vanilla.

    8. Dumb question. Pumpkin spice latte…does it taste like pumpkin? Or just the spices that go into it…like cinnamon and nutmeg? Dying to try one but I don’t think it’d like the pumpkin flavor….

      1. The spices, generally. Although this year there was a pumpkin cold foam which I think did taste like pumpkin??? (There’s not that much difference between pumpkin spice syrup and gingerbread syrup IMO)

      2. The starbucks one is definitely the spices, not pumpkin. It’s actually pretty good and I’m not usually a fan of “fall” favored everything.

    9. I’m a flat white aficionado, I like a whole milk flat white with 1-2 pumps of a fun syrup, I’d probably get sugar cookie this time of year

  2. Work is casual. It is cold and raining buckets. Never warm indoors but wind is always blowing on you from ceiling vents. Dressed straight out of an LL Bean catalog today to walk the dog and I’m also wearing this to work. I would so love to dress like the picture but I just can’t do fashion in the cold damp winter. All outfits are built around a foundation of wool socks.

    1. I feel this. I work in the office portion of a manufacturing environment with a 10 minute walk to the parking lot and so crave the polished feminine looks like this but it’s definitely not the norm/practical for my environment.

      1. Whatever I think of as the Lutheran tune (“Our God is a firm foundation”) is now stuck in my head.

        1. How firm a foundation, these socks of smart wool! (This is very much my brand of humor.)

          6. Thank you so much for replacing the Christmas earworm that’s been in my head for days with How firm a foundation … of socks.

            ELCA member and currently wearing wool socks

      2. Hilarious we went to songs. Mine was “we built this outfit on wooden socks” (we built this city on rock and roll)

      3. I think all of you should take up sock knitting. It’s so fun and the wool sock yarns you can buy are so pretty!

          1. It looks more complicated than it is, I promise! If you can knit and purl, you can knit socks. And the beauty of knitting on four needles, which looks scary and pokey, is that you’re only knitting on tow needles at a time and the other two are just hanging there. But it looks very impressive.

        2. +1

          Handknit socks are the absolute best. I will be living in mine until sometime in 2Q23.

    3. If there is a maintenance group, contact them to see if they can adjust the ceiling vents. My husband does HVAC stuff for corporate building and they often get calls like this.

    4. On the flip side, I live in Atlanta and it was 70 here last week. Dresses like this, which can be worn year-round, with tights or bare legs, with a sweater or jacket or without, are what I want in my closet because I have to pretty much keep four seasons of clothes around all the time.

      1. I have an old MMLa Fleur dress in this color. I used to feel like two million bucks wearing it!

        Unfortunately I’m WFH now and while I try to keep my wardrobe in “real clothing” territory and not pandemic-wear, a dress and tights/hose/Spanx is a step too far for me!

  3. Best scar cream for fading? I burned the back of my hand with my coffee maker a while back and scar is darker than the rest of my skin. TIA!

        2. I’ve had Halo laser by Sciton and microdermabrasion. Oh, and some in-salon acid peels. I had very minor acne scarring but was/am also attacking some sun damage and evidence of aging.

          I wouldn’t bother with any cosmetic preparations (like spot treatments from Clinique or Skinceuticals) and spend my money on the above salon treatments and mostly just use drugstore cosmetics and cleansers. Partly for efficiency, partly impatience, partly wising up to advertising.

    2. Mederma works. I don’t know how it compares to other options since I have only used it once, and that was on my daughter (so young–12’ish) but on an old scar from boiling water.

    3. Silicon gel, I used biocorneum. Follow the directions faithfully. I usually scar a lot but with biocorneum + sunscreen no scar at all.

  4. Unfriendly PSA: please don’t make your teams sit through mandatory fun zoom meetings for the holidays. We are so over it. It’s 2022. I don’t need to play Kahoot or spin the wheel at 9am.

      1. I only know about it because my elementary kid used it during remote school. And that should tell you enough.

        1. Same – my awareness of it is because my college-age sister plays it with her friends. Shudder.

    2. I’m down with a 4pm happy hour fun zoom call for maybe an hour and logging off at 5…if not earlier. My team is scattered around the country so zoom is out only option. But, definitely not during the holidays! Maybe a post holiday thing in January.

      1. That sounds fun. I had a baby in early 2021 and my boss did a meeting where she sent everyone a Starbucks card and asked them to bring their treat. Someone started a power point that said congratulations on the baby and they all got me a gift card. We just gossiped and chatted for a few minutes. I actually thought it was awesome. The ops virtual holiday party sounds brutal.

    3. we just had a lovely zoom going away party for a remote colleague with personalized games, etc. and honestly half our team was in tears. it didn’t lead to me having to work later or anything so why not

    4. My office canceled its holiday celebration. The announcement of the cancellation resulted in actual celebration.

      1. This is unusual! At my firm, we all look forward to the few occasions where we can safely get together. This year, b/c of the spiking Covid and RSV, we are catering in everything, and using the office for the venue. We have only a few non-staff coming; primarily the manageing partner’s wife, brother and kids, and 3 of our top cleints.

        We must all pre-test for COVID, and send Lynn a photo of our negative Covid test. Only those with negative COVID tests taken within 48 hours of the party can come.

        I asked the manageing partner to get a festive waterproof tablecloth for the conference room table b/c all I can remember was the stains I had to clean up after I saw her and my associate going at it on the table without any protection. We wound up having the associate leave the firm, ostensibley b/c he never passed the bar, but really b/c we knew then that we should not have him meeting with cleints w/o a chaperone given what he did on that table when he was one-on-one with a staffer.

        So our party is next week, just b/f the holiday week and we expect all 18 people to attend, who have RESVPed. YAY!!!

    5. My department had an in-person celebration – this, while we’ve had several people with severe respiratory infections (that were not Covid or the flu, no one knows what it is) who almost had to be hospitalized in the last few weeks, and Covid infections are back up to record highs. Many of us would have had to drive an hour to get to the venue, and they made it clear that masks were optional (and did not say “masks recommended”). And also put in the invitation that “space is limited to make sure to RSVP right away!” Let me drive an hour to sit for two hours making small talk with people I don’t know very well in an enclosed space with a bunch of unmasked people who may be sick! Sounds like such fun, I really want to spend my holiday vacation sick as a dog!

      I was not surprised that 3/4 of our department did not attend, but our VP certainly was. Now apparently we “might not even bother trying to have in-person celebrations if people can’t bother to show up.” What a tragedy it would be to lose those.

    2. I do. But do you mean INTERESTED in geography, or if we use geographical words as starters?

    3. I do! Or I try :) I apparently need more map time, but it’s a good way explore and test my knowledge.

      1. Agree — today was easy, but sometimes I am just totally at a loss and my guess is off by a hemisphere. I do love it though even though I can’t think well in kilometers (but oddly my flag feature gives hints in miles).

      1. Globle is the one I play. (It’s kind of like “Hot or Cold” for geography.) I like to Wikipedia the more obscure winning countries after I solve the puzzle.

    7. Can you share the website? Googling turns up 3 different websites with different domains that all look similar. Is there an official one?

  6. If you have rugs or bathmats in your bathrooms, where do they go? In front of toilet, sink, and/or shower? I have some weird bathrooms that have awkward floor space that is too big for most bath mats but too small for a 3×5 rug.

    1. I just have a bathmat in front of my tub, but our bathroom is teeny. I can see maybe another rug in front of the sink. A rug by the toilet has grandma vibes.

    2. Shower and sink face each other, so one rug covers both areas.

      Toilet rugs skeeve me out.

    3. In front of the sink. Definitely not in front of the toilet as the male pee-splashing is gross!

      1. This. My husband’s house when I met him had wall-to-wall carpeting in the bathroom. OMFG no no no nope

        2. So gross! What if the toilet overflows onto that carpet, or someone misses the toilet throwing up?? I totally do not understand carpet in the toilet room!

    4. We have a double sink, so two small mats in front of each sink. And one larger one in front of the shower stall.

    5. Lands’ End sells some bigger mats, in addition to standard sizes. I have a standard size in front of my shower and a long mat in front of my tub.

    6. My bathroom is long so a small grippy bathmat in front of the shower and a larger decorative rug in front of the vanity. Toilet rugs gross me out. You’re not going to wash that gross rug as often as you would mop the floor.

    7. We have a long and skinny bathroom with double sinks on each side and bath shower at the end. I have a Turkish runner (virtually no pile) going the length of the bathroom covering off both sink areas and a plush bathmat in front the shower door. Runner helps hide some unfortunate early 2000s tuscan vibes that I’m not ready to commit the $$$ to the renovation required for de-Tuscanification.

    8. My bathroom is a strange layout so I have small bathmats in front of the toilet, tub, sink and shower. They are white and get washed with bleach every other week.

    9. I only have one in front of the tub/shower and I fold it and put it on the tub rim when not in use. Scatter rugs are like the # 1 tripping hazard!

    10. I’ve given up on mats (my cat loves to pee on them… the vet says they must feel good on his toes) and I keep a pair of slippers in the bathroom instead. Idk why I didn’t think of this years ago, it is SO NICE to wake up and put your toes in fuzzy goodness.

  7. What’s your process for preparing for an interview? Here’s what I do, but would love to gather tips on a thread.

    – Research company and CEO (Wiki, history, news articles) and start taking notes
    – Compare/contrast with current company and other competitors (size of company, assets, stock price, incorporation date/history)
    – Visit company website, note which products and services are offered by company (highlight which ones I have experience in)
    – On company website, review any leadership bios (and take note of diversity on leadership team and board of directors)
    – View LinkedIn profile for interviewers
    – Peruse LinkedIn profiles for possible team leadership
    – Review my running Google doc with typical interview questions, update responses as necessary
    – Practice answers to typical interview questions (my “tell me about yourself/walk me through your resume” answer, response to “tell me about a time when” questions, behavioral questions, any specific questions I might expect, etc.)
    – Print out and review original job posting and submitted resume & cover letter, highlight areas I want to verbally emphasize during interview
    – Write down 2-3 questions for interviewer, usually including one about team/department structure

    What else do you do?

    1. Maybe I should step up my prep.

      I write down my top 5-7 biggest accomplishments in my career and then think of ways to shoehorn them into any questions they could ask. I remind myself of my current development area (right now, learning and gaining experience leading others in a nuanced of a part of my function), and I think about what would hold me back from accepting an offer, so I can ask questions about those issues.

      And that’s it. I am a good speaker off the cuff so I’m sure that’s a large part of my minimal prep. But I’d be interested in learning what those steps help you do. For example, what do you do differently after looking at your interviewer’s LinkedIn?

      1. I think it helps to calm my nerves by familiarizing myself with the interviewer beforehand.

      2. This is what I do – I think of a handful of stories I want to tell/accomplishments I want to highlight, and then make sure I have different paths to get into those stories. I practice telling the stories so I can do it articulately.

      3. I also do minimal prep and it’s never hurt me, I have a pretty good conversion rate for interviews-to-offers (like over 75%). I do visit the company website, and also do a Google News search for the company name (this was VERY helpful in one case where I was interviewing with a company, and my Google News search told me they were on the brink of filing for bankruptcy). I do look up all the interviewers I have names for on LinkedIn. I do not keep track of every interview question I’ve ever been asked, or do a lot of “question practice,” because like you, I am a good impromptu speaker and I pretty much know I can handle whatever question has been thrown at me. I also have some standard questions I ask in every interview and I don’t really change them (one of them is “what does success look like for the person in this role, and what would you want the person to accomplish within the first 90 days, six months, and one year in the job?” This is great for calibrating whether the company’s expectations are way out of line with reality, like I had one interviewer go into a 15-minute explanation of how I would need to completely pivot and re-engineer the company’s business model in the first six months. I declined to move forward in the process).

        One thing I do before an interview is go back over my resume and make sure I can tell the story of how I achieved the result I reported achieving in a particular job. I had an interviewer latch on to an accomplishment I had on my resume from 15 years ago and ask me a lot of questions about it. TBH, I had done so much other stuff in the interim that I was fuzzy on some of the details (like how many people were on the project team). I did fine and got an offer (that I didn’t take); I found out later that the department I was interviewing with was contemplating a similar project and wanted to see if I could lead it. Which I could have.

    2. Figure out who I might know there (or who I might know who might know someone there)
      Practice talking about my best traits, as represented through my recent work
      Check Glassdoor and any other anonymous sources I can find talking about what life is like at the company

    3. this is a great list. One thing I tried once was a chart where i mapped out the qualifications and experiences the job description noted and then aligned it with specific examples of where I did/demonstrated just that. Honestly, it didn’t fully translate to interview question responses but it made me feel super confident and prepared!

      I usually have way more than 2-3 questions for the interviewer though, I would expand on that.

      Oh also check their social medias if they have them.

    4. Fun and helpful! Kudos to your list.

      * If not familiar with the firm, I do research their website, check the products, claimed values.
      * Every company is checked on their leadership team [diversity, any notable achievements, e.g. CEO ranked in HBR], portfolio, market position, annual report [I highly recommend this, it tells you about the current business health, split of business, future launches, risks, etc – very relevant for my profession]. I search the last 5y stock performance.
      * I check interviewer’s profile on LinkedIn to get a sense of how deep their questions on specific topics could run. Although, I was pleasantly surprised by an HR grilling me with deep digital marketing questions.
      * I also check if I have a contact within the company who could make an introduction or give me advice [e.g. this is a toxic team/boss]
      * I do keep my CV updated [I am actively job searching]
      * I keep a file with responses to the most common interview questions, update with relevant examples if needed or when I have a better/more recent example. I review this before interview.
      * I make sure to review the job post/job description before the interview, I am clear on what the role is about, and I have examples ready to show how my skills/experience match the job requirements. I was asked to do the “show me the match/draw the links” by 2 separate companies recently, so the prep paid off.
      * I always have questions for the interviewer – from simpler/generic ones [screener, HR] to more complex ones [hiring manager]. I am always interested in the broader structure and how this role fits, who are the key stakeholders, what are the current challenges/where do they hope to shift the brand in the upcoming year, expectations for the new hire in the first 3 months, what would good look like, can they describe ideal candidate [so that I can provide more examples if needed]. I also ask about what the hiring manager values the most in their existing team. Why is the role vacant [new role? replacement? what was missing by the previous job holder].

      1. Ooh tell me more about asking the hiring manager to describe the ideal candidate. Has anyone ever been put off by that question?

        Also, where are the annual reports usually located?

        1. Annual report for companies listed on stock exchange are available on company website. Either in “Investors” or “About us” section. Or type “annual report” in the search box. You can get many valuable insights there.
          Some companies publish also mid-year reports; these are shorter updates on Jan-June performance and are helpful to understand what is the company’s level of confidence on hitting full-year targets, accelerating sales dynamics, updates on acquisitions/mergers.

          I ask the hiring manager if there are any specific skills or experiences beyond what is in the description job or anything specific the new person on the job would ideally have [or I ask if they could describe a candidate that would best fit the role & team – depends on how I read the hiring manager during the interview, some people are put off by the phrase “ideal”, but hey, I am put off by asking about my weaknesses]. So far, all hiring managers replied and there were actually good points. In one pharma company, the person mentioned they are looking for a candidate with more FMCG experience, so that they can disrupt the “old pharma” stereotypes & mindset. I could then give an example of how I used my FMCG background in my current marketing activations. The FMCG experience was oddly not mentioned in the job ad [which I believe was a mistake].

        2. this is similar to AskaManager’s ‘magic question’. Thinking back to people who have been in this position previously, what differentiated the ones who were good from the ones who were really great?
          A lot of people have reported that this makes you look super good to hiring managers. My last interviewer said this question was a big factor in selecting me. I guess it also primes them to imagine you as doing really great in the role, and signals that you care about doing a great job.

    5. I work in a large-ish but well-connected industry. The first thing I do is see who I know who works there, or worked there. Then I might look for second degree connections.

      I would look up the company’s Best rating (specific to this industry) and see the history and any of the directional comments. I would google recent news articles. And then I’d start asking around within my closest connection, but only the ones I trust to be discreet.

      I’d have a complete picture of the size of the financials (policyholder surplus, annual premium, size of loss reserves) before I went in. I would feel perfectly prepared with this.

    6. My #1 tip and the best thing I’ve ever done is to write down a list of 10-15 concrete examples of your work: what was the project, what action did you take, and what was the outcome/impact. It seems simple, but it can be hard to recall the details of projects spontaneously in the stress of an interview. These can be used as answers to a variety of questions, including, do you have experience doing XYZ, what’s something you’re proud of that you’ve worked on, what’s a challenging problem you had to overcome, what are your strengths/weaknesses, what type of work do you enjoy most, etc.

  8. I have a big work day on December 23, aka Festivus. I feel like I don’t even get time to properly air my grievances this year.

    3. OMG I just realized that I will be on a very expensive dinner cruise (with alcohol, of course!) on the Wilamette River on Festivus, with my husband and adult kid. I feel like that will be an excellent forum for the Airing of Grievances!

      1. But how could you have any with such a wonderful activity and such wonderful company?! Enjoy!

      2. Omg that’s an excellent use of Festivus. (This Portlander is very excited for you!)

  9. For any of you who are keeping up with the Harry and Meghan miniseries, is there any actual smoking gun revealed so far? I think not, so will likely not watch unless there is. Too busy keeping up with World Cup (current!) and White Lotus (still behind but am OK with the spoilers I am aware of or more).

    1. I just want to say that it cracks me up that they are calling it a “documentary” when it’s really a reality TV series

        1. As someone who already wasn’t planning on watching it, thank you for this heads-up. Sounds like classed-up reality TV then.

    2. sounds like a lot of whining and revisionist history based on coverage I’ve seen. (you were unprepared? in your engagement interview you said you were ready to hit the ground running. You were fleeing for your lives? In your big super secret departure announcement in 2020, it was a carefully-thought-out manifesto about wanting a progressive new role within the institution…. oh wait, you now claim is so awful.) Make it make sense.

      1. Did you watch it or do you just love to hate them? Because so far it’s mostly just been lovely and heartwarming.

        1. I was a fan originally, watched the wedding, enjoyed following the different fashion etc. Great love story or not, it’s devolved into almost 3 years of whining. Enough.

          2. Same. And I really really dislike the attacking of Kate who was heavily pregnant and newly postpartum during the height of the drama. Of course she was more focused on her own young family than on Meghan’s feelings.

          5. Absolutely same. Was so heartened at first, and am so turned off by the lies and whining, while cocooned in a privileged life.

      2. This. ‘We want private lives’, no, you wanted to monetize your private lives to only handpicked and friendly outlets like movie stars do and didn’t like that the Queen told you that wasn’t allowed.

        1. I’m actually fairly sympathetic to them on this particular issue. They’re not going to be able to have private lives regardless. In their shoes either the story will be written for them (and that version is not positive) or they can try to drive the narrative themselves. I personally do not like the limelight at all, but if I were them I would choose to at least have my side heard vs being at the mercy of what everyone else says.

          I also think it’s totally reasonable to think you know what you’re getting into and to feel like you’re ready for it but to not have really “got it” beyond a surface intellectual level. I’ve made enough choices like that in my life although they were easier ones that tturned out better.

      3. I’m so over these two. I was sympathetic initially, but it’s become clear that they’re giant attention wh*res. I still don’t buy Meghan’s claims that she didn’t know what she was getting into. Come on, now. You weren’t a naive 22-year-old.

        2. Agreed – I was truly on their side and understood why they wanted to leave the UK. But I do not buy for a second she didn’t understand what she was getting into. She is a 41 year old very smart woman, who was well-traveled and educated. To say that she thought a curtsy to the queen was a joke is so beyond unbelievable. You can say you disagree or don’t understand the logic of the formality, but to claim you didn’t know that they were formal and have royal protocol is pretty obtuse.

          1. +1 yes to all of that. for me it’s pretty obtuse to the point of being completely disingenuous. Like you’re dating royalty – it doesn’t cross your mind to at least glance at some royal protocol if you somehow aren’t sure? But like seriously, Americans were raised on Disney movies, we know that you have to courtesy to the Queen.

            She had to “google God Save the Queen” and this is revealed as some kind of revelation – so what? How is that moment something that sticks in her head as a problem? I google stuff I need to know all the time, it’s a solution, not a problem that someone didn’t give me the answers in advance that they didn’t know I didn’t have already.

          2. Yep and I don’t believe she didn’t know who Harry was before their first date. Like, are you serious?!

            I was curious about whether “commoners” who marry into the firm receive protocol training. I assumed they would and that Kate did.

          3. And if she “didn’t know what she was getting into,” shouldn’t part of that be laid at Harry’s door? Like, dude, you’re not a regular guy bringing a regular gal home to meet your regular family; you could have prepared her for the particulars.

          4. They say they did give her protocol training. It is one of the areas where “recollections vary”, as the Palace says.

        3. Agree, they’re just boring now. I would have totally forgotten that they moved here by now if they didn’t constantly seek out attention. I’d choose to watch any real housewives franchise over their show.

        1. Me too. I feel like she doesn’t get that the reason people cared about her was the role she was taking on in the royal family. Now that they’ve stepped away from that (which I totally get! I think the press was awful to her!) I honestly don’t have a reason to care about either of them anymore…it’s not like they’re doing something uniquely worthwhile with themselves?

        2. I agree. Megan was big in the US from Suits, but in the end, she really was ignorant of royal protocols and royal duties. Now that is not necessarily bad, b/c so was I, but if I started dating Harry, and it got hot and heavy, believe me, if I thought I had a shot at becoming royalty myself, I would have gotten the hornbook on how to behave as a royal, and what to do and not to do in public as a royal. She obviously didn’t, but she still hooked Harry, and together they decided to forsake all of that and are doing well in the US w/o her ever having to curtesy again, if she doesn’t want to. I am not up on the nuances of royal behaviour, but does she have to curtesy to the King’s Consort Camilla? I know she is not of royal stock herself, but since she is married to Charles and presumably “consorting” with him (I think I know what that means), I think she should be curtesyed to by others. If anyone in the hive has the answer, please let us know!

      5. If they hated the monarchy and their family that much, why did they name their daughter after the queen? It would be like naming my daughter after my husband’s abusive mother — every day you see that? And the kid knows you picked that name knowing how you feel? I can’t quite explain that.

        1. They want the royal family connection only when it suits them. They want the fame and attention and honors that come with the job but not the obligations and press mistreatment (which is not unique to Meghan – the press was very hard on Kate for years… remember Waity Katey?)

          1. I remember Waity Katey! There were also the photos of her sunbathing topless after getting married.

            She and William basically ignored a lot of it and let the press get bored of running non-stories.

          2. Waity Kaity was the least of it. She was literally cornered and spit on by paparazzi. Meaghan was way more protected at the girlfriend stage than Kate ever was.

          3. Her phone was hacked 155 times while she was still a royal girlfriend. William’s voicemails to her were read aloud in court (and the transcripts are public) and William realizing his phone was hacked was what kicked off the Leveson inquiry in the UK into tabloid practices. (They hacked his about 20 times and Harry’s 9, I believe.) It was so much beyond bad headlines, though she got plenty of those too.

      6. +1000 to Cat’s post, I can’t keep track of how quickly their stories change. It’s so annoying.

    3. It seems like they must have been contractually obligated to deliver X hours of programming, because it cries out for tighter editing and some sort of narrative. It’s not like there are no talented behind-the-scenes people in California, so I am at a loss to explain how meh it is. There is absolutely no there there.

    5. Nothing so far! I just can’t get over the hypocrisy of spending so much time talking about awful it is having the media intrude and tell a particular narrative about you, and then turning around and doing the exact same thing to your own family. No wonder relations with William/Kate et all aren’t great when the details of every meeting & text they share are now up for sale to netflix.

      1. Upside: their xmas card list should be more manageable as it probably has fewer than 5 people left on it

        1. I don’t get how they invited strangers they didn’t know to the wedding and made a point about her seemingly very understanding adult niece not getting invited (but who did the uninviting seems unclear and this woman seems totally innocuous). Also: who films themselves in their own home? I am never camera-ready there especially but it might improve my wretched posture.

          1. The filming themselves for Netflix while watching themselves on Oprah was a whole other level. Who does that?

          2. Aren’t they using a rented home as the set for the “home” shots? There was some kind of kerfuffle about it.

          3. I think yes. But maybe it is like how I take family pictures in my yard but my fancy neighbor’s house is sometimes in the background (but the light is truly better in that direction).

          4. I was just thinking the other day that they must’ve rented a home. For security reasons but also to avoid judgement about how fancy their house is.

          1. I was thinking of family members (and no need for pricey international stamps). I listed to a lot of UK history podcasts and I feel like if I have a sense of history of at least how non-heir children wind up, surely Prince Harry could look at the arc of history and realize how lucky he is to live here and now. No hemophilia, no princes in the tour, etc., etc.

            I’m a BigLaw survivor — I can complain also, but realize that the world has its problems and might honestly find my problems very tolerable compared to real problems. Someone calling me names or being mean to me is . . . not anything I take personally after working on the trading floor (not the warmest and fuzziest environment for a woman).

            And, honestly, I’d expect this from a teen or college student maybe but I’m a bit surprised at the whining from someone approaching 40. I worked on a case once where the court file included a letter from a rich guy complaining to his trust’s trustee about how his needs and wants were just not being met according to his preferences and this all reminded me so much of that (dude: you got a spendthrift trust For A Reason). That letter was a public record and anyone could go read it — I would have been so mortified, but I’d never have gone on the record with something like that.

        3. My favorite quote from SNL last week was in the opening monologue where they mentioned the documentary and were like “no one is rooting for them anymore” lol.

      2. Right like they’re complaining that Will and Kate aren’t close to them, but why would they be when H and M leak everything they say and do to the press? Of course K and W have their guards up. I feel so awful for them, especially Kate. My SIL and I aren’t close but she’s an absolute gem compared to Meghan.

        1. My SIL had small babies and then had another when I was new on the scene. It’s not like she could drop everything like nursing and vomiting to go hang out with me. And she is my husband’s brother’s wife, so it’s not even her family. Should I whine about how my BIL wasn’t all chummy with me?

          IDK why so much falls on Kate — this isn’t her family, either.

          1. I feel like it is super-unfair to dump the responsibility for “welcoming Meghan to the family” on Kate, who is (as you point out) herself an outsider. That seems like a great role for Camilla, who hung around the royal family for years waiting for the opportunity to steal someone’s husband for herself. Surely in all that time as a lurker/hanger-on she picked up a few survival tips.

    6. Seems like it is just entertainment/gossip. I’m sure their experience was horrible and Harry’s perspective is impacted by Princess Diana. I do think they purposely threw William and Kate under the bus unnecessarily.

      1. The “bombshell” of William screaming at Harry in a private family meeting in front of Charles and the Queen when Harry was wanting to quit – yeah, I bet he was furious. I don’t blame William at all for getting emotional and yelling. While it’s not a best family moment, it seems to me to be a pretty normal reaction in such a high pressure situation. When I saw that in the headlines all I feel is sympathy for William, because I sure wouldn’t want the worst family moments of my life aired out on Netflix.

        1. This could be any day in our house where algebra homework is going on. My people are not graceful when they are frustrated.

          1. +1. Once I heard my dad yelling from literally a block away (he is a great dad, just very, very loud)

        2. Yeah I come from a family of loud people but it’s a rare day that someone doesn’t raise their voice. I know Brits tend to be more reserved but William yelling about this in a heated discussion hardly seems like kind of bombshell.

          1. Right? Put it in the context of a family business and the younger son announces he is leaving (with a grand public announcement that denigrates all the other family) and the firm operating agreement says all the work must be done by blood forever. There might be some yelling and the yelling would most surely come from the brother.

        3. Yea I agree. I also think they were trying to throw them under the bus with the barefoot and ripped jeans hugging comment. That’s just to make William and Kate look cold and Harry and Meghan warm and loving.

        4. I think he was mad because the plan was always that Harry would continue to do engagements and events so Willam and Kate didn’t have to carry everything and could spend time with their kids. They will end up doing a lot more events a lot sooner now.

          They are trying to do things differently by not sending the kids to boarding school like William and Harry were.

          And to ask for half in half out like it isn’t undermining how a constitutional monarchy functions? FFS. If Michelle Obama wasn’t monetizing being First Lady and you can’t do that in the UK either.

        5. And I feel there was some element from William of “You’re seriously going to leave me alone in this?”

          I’m sure there are days where William would love to quit royal life and peace out with Kate and the kids to a random anonymous village for the rest of their lives but he understandably doesn’t feel that’s an option for them because he (and by extension at least George) has a duty to serve. As an eldest sibling, I sympathize with that–I definitely have gotten to that level of frustration with my siblings when I have felt they are flaking out on family obligations and leaving me to pull our collective weight and that’s just on the level of, like, planning our dad’s birthday dinner or whatever.

    7. The irony of complaining that Nottingham Cottage where they lived before Frogmore as ‘so small’ when Will/Kate lived until they had kids without complaint and while the UK is in the middle of a housing crisis is a lot. So tone deaf to complain that your free house is too small.

      1. Sooo tone deaf!! And that’s coming from a person who owns a lovely 3,000 sq foot “forever home” so it’s not like I’m suffering either. They are insufferable and become moreso every time they speak. I don’t understand how anyone likes them.

    8. Honestly if you know anything beyond what Harry and Meghan are telling you in this “documentary” (reality show) it becomes clear they are living in their own reality. There’s so many whiffs of Trump at his inauguration when talking about how much more popular than the rest of the royals Meghan was and how much better she was at the job – there’s popularity polling in the UK! Actual numbers show that she was never even close to the Queen/Will/Kate/Harry numbers! She was reasonably popular, despite bad press, until they left and then their own actions made them unpopular. Harry talks about how Will and his father have “misconceptions,” which seems to me like their version of what went down (or, as Harry and Meghan would call it, “their truth”) and, like in all situations, there is another side to the story that isn’t Harry and Meghan as entirely victims. And throwing an employee under the bus for sharing information he had with a court that showed that Meghan was literally lying to a court of law leads me to believe that all the bullying allegations against staff are correct. I liked her at the beginning (he’s always been awful but I thought maybe he’d grown up when he met her) but the more they talk the more its clear that they are two very damaged people perfectly suited to each other. I hope they eventually find peace out of the limelight, but I think that will be difficult because they care so much about their public image above all else.

      2. Right? You’re mad this employee didn’t try to hide the info from the court? What? I thought ‘the truth’ was their big thing.

    9. It’s interesting to see how many people here are watching attentively and not liking it, including some former fans. I feel like this shows H&M’s PR strategy is overall going really poorly, if not outright backfiring, if this kind of audience is so turned off. (And now I actually am considering watching it!)

      The Indestructible PR podcast is done by a woman in PR who reviews various PR mistakes and analyzes what went wrong. She did an episode on Meghan’s interview in The Cut, and I hope she does another one about this series too. She has said that H&M’s PR has just never hit a stride, with one problem after another. I’m pretty interested to see where their reputations end up over time, since this period (young, beautiful, with little kids) was probably their best chance.

      1. I am waiting for the Sussex Survivors Club to start spilling the tea. I would 100% watch that.

      2. I have to listen to this podcast! I think they would have been better off wanting to start fresh with Meghan’s acting or entertainment career and not talk about the royal family drama anymore. It’s definitely them trying to profit off of everything that happened.

        1. Yes! I actually liked Meghan in Suits pre-Harry, so that would have been interesting. Or if they super leaned into wellness and yoga and upper crusty vegan green lifestyles, that would been even more interesting. Like get back on instagram and be that kind of influencer, that might be cool. But right now they just keep sharing grievances and firm/family drama and they say the tabloids are attacking them all the time but then they just keep feeding it more of the same drama by publicly rehashing it. It’s like they want to be public figures on their own terms but they don’t give the public anything interesting about them to talk about other than the drama.

          1. I would totally watch if the series had featured her teaching Harry yoga! That’s fun – more whining about the press is not.

        2. Yes! Show them working in their new jobs or charities or whatever? It seems like they have shown none of that because they are not actually doing much.

          Even if your relatives are the worst, complaining about them into middle age is not compelling TV.

      4. I don’t follow the royal family and was neutral on Meghan and Harry for the most part. Now I actively dislike them. Like, shut up already. Everyone has family problems. Deal with your own family problems privately. Also, if you want to be private citizens, be private. Stop talking to the press. Stop putting out “documentaries” about your grievances. We get it at this point. I’m honestly wondering now if their relationship is the marriage of two narcissists that see themselves as perpetual victims who crave attention.

        So. Not sure the PR push is having the result they wanted.

  10. Has anyone ever gotten a Hydrafacial? As someone who is notoriously awful at taking time off for self care/sanity but really needs it, I actually booked one with the express knowledge that I would not be able to be available on my phone for that chunk of time.

    Also, shout out to those other managers who are supporting all their staff in whatever needs/obligations they have and encouraging really healthy work life balance… at the sacrifice of your own sanity. 2023 is our year to say, ‘no, that’s not going to happen.’ .

    1. I have gotten a couple of hydra facials and they were VERY hard on my skin. I also had to stop tretinoin for 10 days prior and 3 days after. My biggest advice is be prepared with some excellent moisturizer for a few days after! I know some people love them, though, especially if they don’t have more sensitive skin.

      Taking time off and away from your phone is so important, and congrats for taking that step!

    2. Gawd, if only. I am just tired of it all. Tired of managing, tired of the rules constantly shifting, tired from a mandatory surgery earlier this fall, tired from going 100 miles per hour since returning to work after said surgery, tired of unrealistic demands and expectations from the people above me. Tired of taking vacation time, only to pay for it later with an unmanageable pile of work. Tired of being overlooked and taken for granted. Tired of coworkers’ attitudes, which have become atrocious as of late.

      2023 might be my year for intensive therapy, honestly.

    3. Yes, I really liked it. My skin was very glowy afterwards. I usually do way crazier stuff like chemical peels and micro needling so by comparison it was a walk in the park with no recovery time.

    4. I accidentally got one instead of a regular facial and I also got stuck with an aesthetician I’d never used. For me, the main benefit of a facial is clearing out all the tiny stubborn blackheads on my nose without harming my skin. Maybe my aesthetician was just bad, but the hydrafacial was not effective at all at clearing out my most stubborn pores. My skin looked a little brighter after but it wasn’t significantly better than my at home skincare routine (when I really try).

    5. I had one and it was much too harsh for my skin. I was really really red for a few days. I also found it pretty painful. I’ve had regular facials from the same person so I’m pretty sure it was the hydrafacial itself, not the person giving it.

  11. Here’s what I would like to ask all of the detractors, people saying that how dare they make this documentary when they begged for privacy, etc.:

    If the media spread vicious lies (racist and otherwise) about you and your children and made your life a living hell, and your “family” (the firm) did nothing whatsoever to protect you, wouldn’t you want to set the record straight if you had the means? They didn’t say they wanted to be strictly private people. They said they wanted to be able to engage with the press on their own terms, which seems fair to me.

    I’ve always liked Kate and William enough, but the fact that people hold Kate up as a shining example (and favorably contrast her with Meghan) because she perfectly plays the role women/mothers have been relegated to for the entirety of human history is just so sad and pathetic.

    1. Taylor Swift was right when she said that haters gonna hate. Why bother? It’s like arguing with a fool — it isn’t going to do any good or change things, you will just be angry and frustrated and even more upset, and you won’t look any better than the fool for all of that drama. Living well, truly, is the best revenge.

    2. But this is like their 57th outing of correcting the record. Enough already!

      And it’s not Kate’s fault some racist tabloids compared her favorably to Meghan. Why not direct their ire at the real perpetrator, the press. Kate and William (especially Kate) appear to have done nothing seriously wrong. Sure maybe they’re a bit standoffish, but who can blame them?! H and M leak everything they say to their friends in the press.

      1. The very first leak from this whole mess was a 2017 “blind item” from Canadian gossip blogger/Meghan’s acquaintance Lainey about how Kate didn’t offer Meghan a ride to go shopping when they had met maybe 2 times before. Why would Kate ever trust Meghan with any information ever again? And boy has any mistrust of Meghan been borne out 100 fold since then – I still can’t believe this reality show exists.

        1. Yeah hooo boy were William and Kate right to distrust Meghan and think Harry was moving to fast! I know he didn’t want to hear it but everything they warned him about (like Meghan not being prepared for Royal life) turned out to be right on the money.

        1. -The book Finding Freedom written by their mouthpiece Omid and very clearly sourced from them. Honestly I think Meghan wrote it at least edited sections of it because parts of it really sounded like her voice

          -Harry’s autobiography coming out very soon (January?)

          -all the hundreds of stories they’ve leaked to the friendly press

        2. The podcast, the New York Magazine Interview, the Variety interview, Harry’s book, Harry’s Apple TV episodes, the Finding Freedom book….

          1. The Cut interview
            The People “five mystery friends” defense relating to the infamous letter written to her dad (that was totally personal, right, even though written in that ‘calligraphy’ on numbered pages)

        3. Interview with the Cut where Meghan picked the interviewer and then got her fired when the article wasn’t favourable enough for her.

          2. Allison P Davis tweeted that she was taking an extended unpaid vacation the day after the article dropped. She was written a lot of celebrity profiles and I guess Meghan expected the article to be nicer? Brooke Hammerling who is another American journalist tweeted about it. Allison never said she wasn’t fired when it was alleged afaik which says a lot.

          5. I’ve also lost my sympathy for them and wish that they could just enjoyed their freedom and wealth in quiet. I will say though, the Cut interview was more biting than I would have expected and a bit vicious. If I were her, I would have been ticked too.

      3. This. The Oprah interview should have been enough. I don’t dislike H and M but I’m not necessarily a fan. I think they think very highly of themselves and how many times do I have to hear about Meghan writing a letter to change a sexist commercial, like we get it. Move on. Oh and if you decide to be one of those girls holding the briefcase on a show, that is the job! You are a model. All they care about is your looks and that’s the job you took! They just come off very whiney and like they are complaining.

    3. I just don’t think you get to engage with the press “on your own terms” when you’re a (tax-payer) funded royal rather than celebrity. That’s the part I’ve always felt Meghan and Harry didn’t get. And also frankly, all they seem to want to engage with the press about now is how badly treated they’ve been and selling stories about members of their own family. It all just seems a bit unedifying.

      I think Kate plays the role of a Royal spouse well, regardless of gender (c.f. the Duke of Edinburgh). No it’s not a very modern role, but then a royal family is hardly a modern institution. Meghan and Harry don’t seem to mind things being archaic when it comes to them and their children being titled though…

      1. This captures my feelings too. The other members of the royal family don’t get to “engage with the press on their own terms” either. I understand why Meghan and Harry don’t want to be a part of that world; however they seem to want (demand?) all the benefits of that world with none of the responsibilities or downsides

      2. This. You can engage with the press on your own terms if you are a private citizen. You cannot do so if you are a state representative.

        And they issued tons of corrections when false things were printed. There have been zero specific examples cited where something false was printed and it was not corrected.

        Honestly I hope William did shout at Harry – how can you live your whole life benefiting from a constitutional monarchy and the wealth associated and yet not know the mechanics of it. The level of entitlement is astounding. You can’t be ‘part time’ unless the other job is something very neutral like an elementary school teacher.

        People don’t like them because they lie about all kinds of stuff – Oprah interview, podcast and ‘documentary’ all had multiple own goal lies.

        I don’t think Kate or any of them are perfect but she has done real meaningful work on the issue of maternal health and early years, Camilla has been working for years on domestic abuse issues. You can chose to highlight key issues – you cannot profit off your profile. That is why they left and is why their ‘doc’ is about whining instead of their charity work because they aren’t doing anything.

      3. I don’t understand how Harry didn’t fully prepare Meghan for life as a royal. My understanding was that William and Kate dated for years before he proposed because he wanted to be sure that she could handle being a princess/queen. I don’t think Harry did a good job of preparing and explaining things to Meghan. I would have been out of there so fast if my bf didn’t give me proper heads up on how to curtesy if that was expected. Take care of your gf!!

        1. Exactly! The only one of the Queen’s children to not get divorced was Edward who lived with Sophie for like 5 years before they got married.

          I bet William noticed that and followed it.

          1. The press was also brutal to Kate when she and William were dating. I’m not sure exactly when that tapered off and she eventually won them over, but it was a long while.

      1. Yeah, the lies that…she had an over the top expensive baby shower in NYC where influencer-friendly products were brought in through the front door in front of photographers? That they took a lot of private jet flights (which Harry defended as “protecting his family” because there’s no other way to do that than to fly with a newborn to the South of France)? That she spent more money on clothes her first year as a royal than the other royal European ladies combined? That she made Wimbledon clear a section of public seats for her and her friends, something no other royal has ever done? That her staff were leaving much more quickly than is usual for staff turnover? That’s bad press, but not lies, and they seem unable to tell the difference.

        1. Also, they fly in private jets while trashing William & Kate for having 3 kids, like that is exactly what is burning down the planet, that third kid that they had, while Harry & Meghan are opting for 2 kids to save the planet b/c they are Righteous like that.

          1. I absolutely believe they would have had third if Meghan was younger. They originally said they wanted only one and backtracked on that pretty much immediately. I think they’re very hypocritical.

      2. You believe they tried to keep the press positive just because they said so? I don’t.

        1. Not because they said so, because there are literally hundreds of articles where the Palace is noted as correcting things that were negative about Meghan.

    5. IMO the real problem is that royalty is made-up, has a very problematic history, and is getting harder and harder to justify. If any of them really wants to “modernize” or advance causes of equality or empowerment, they should give up their titles and donate their property. Empty palaces as museums, vacated royal lands as public parks, etc.

      2. Isn’t that anti- democratic though if the people in countries have not chosen to remove the system? It’s not hard to remove the system – it’s happened a number of times.

        A number of former British colonies have removed the then Queen as their head of state and have continued as members of the Commonwealth association of states.

        Parliament also has to approve the line of succession so they could just remove anyone unsuitable like Andrew if it came to it.

        1. Interesting question about the role of democracy in removing a monarchy! But their existence was not democratically determined to begin with. I guess I feel like if they deferred to their own judgment by claiming a divine right to rule, they can now defer to their own evolved, improved judgment by giving it up.

          1. Has there been a ‘divine right to rule’ claimed in the last 400 years though? Parliamentary supremacy over the monarchy dates from like the 1600s. It’s older than America. I think it would be weird to be like ‘ You all have not asked us to leave but we are going to do it because we know better than you’

    6. I agree the press was awful to Meghan, and continues to be. If I had the money and the access she has, I’d certainly want to set the record straight, or tell my side of the story.

      And Harry has been one foot out the door of the royal family since long before he met her. This is not something she orchestrated.

      1. Yeah I’m actually confused by all the negativity today. I think the racism element was new for Meghan (which she addresses) and just made it very, very different from anything Kate or other members of the family experienced. It’s the big elephant in the room today on this board too.

        1. I’m tired of the argument that every criticism of a Black person is racist. There were some racist things printed but Meghan clearly had no idea what she was getting into (thinking it’s a joke you have to curtsy to the Queen??), treated the staff badly (soo many people quit or complained and they can’t ALL be racist) and did some hypocritical things like fly on private jets while talking about climate change. She sounds like a total narcissist. Her statement that people in Africa were dancing in the streets about her marriage the way they were for Nelson Mandela’s freedom is WILD. I do think there was racism and her experience was different than Kate’s for that reason, but there is so much more to it than just that.

          3. Like, I wish she had talked way more about colorism. Her feelings about that are way more interesting to me than anything she could say about Will, Kate, Charles or Camilla.

        2. I’m genuinely interested in what comments here today you read as r@cist toward Meghan.

        4. I have to say that her framing of her otherwise very justified complaint as “after decades of ‘passing’ in the U.S. it was a terrible jolt to actually be treated like a Black woman” is pretty unpalatable and makes me less sympathetic.

          1. Honestly, the part where she talked about being “white passing” was the most shocking part of the entire thing.

          3. I agree that she is white-passing, but I wasn’t expecting her to acknowledge that and I wish she had talked more about colorism and her feelings about being biracial in the documentary.

          4. She is white-passing. What I find offensive is her outrage that now she was being treated like an “actual” Black woman, like “those” Black women.

      2. I think you set the record straight but that is like a one-time thing. The endless rehashing gets old and makes you just look like you are the one who needs to move on if you aren’t saying anything new.

        1. They need it for the money! I don’t think either of them have real careers to pay for their lavish lifestyle now. It’s all a money grab IMO.

    7. I feel like they have had advisors and either they were very bad and could not read the room or any good advice was not heeded. They have had so many own-goals where staying silent would have been better for them and public opinion of them. I have a feeling that good professional PR people and crisis management firms would have done all of this completely differently (assuming willing and interested clients).

      1. I think the BRF PR had been absolutely fantastic for Harry over the years. They turned him from playboy party prince wearing a N-zi costume into Hero Harry, fun-loving spare & uncle.

    9. H and M lie all the time. Like the BS in the latest episodes about fleeing Canada. Sorry the free protection from the RCMP wasn’t good enough for you. They straight up lied about the security situation.

      They lied about the ‘secret wedding’ on Oprah when tons of people were in lock down and couldn’t get married. They made it look like the Archbishop of Canterbury broke the law for them because the law requires witnesses to weddings.

      They have yet to have say what was aw that went uncorrected. Negative things? But Negative does not mean untrue. Absolutely but they have never pointed to a single false story that was untrue where the Palace did not issue a correction. The Palace issued a correction for that story about her dog’s poo! Literally everything they corrected to.

    10. YES! So much implicit bias in the responses (everywhere on the internet, but especially disheartening to see in generally “progressive” spaces). Also, the UK paparazzi is responsible for the death of Harry’s mother…seems pretty natural that he would have a strong reaction to their treatment of his wife.

      1. Oh please – she got in a car with a drunk driver and didn’t put on her seatbelt.

        You know who survived that crash? The guy who put on his seatbelt.

      2. I completely agree and I’m also surprised that such supposedly smart, successful women have bought into the British press/Institution spin.

        1. So weird how we like verifiable facts and don’t immediately believe everything H/M say when they have been proven to lie so many times. Like why lie about the Lion King thing? Or the security? Or the secret wedding?

        2. 1) The paparazzi were French. 2) They certainly didn’t help but a drunk driver and lack of seatbelt were the cause of Diana’s death, as determined in the 2007 official inquiry. 3) There is no evidence of paparazzi scrums ever chasing Meghan like they did Diana/Kate, as there are protections in the UK in part spurred on by Diana and Kate’s experiences. You can lump them in with the media as a whole, maybe, but paparazzi itself is not the issue here.

          I think its more complicated than one side’s “spin,” and I certainly don’t believe that the side doing a reality show is the one with the monopoly on the truth.

        3. Indeed. The microaggressions up and down this thread abound. I’m not sure I’m surprised at this point. This lady receives so much hate daily.

          I thought M’s talk about how she’s blamed for taking H away was poignant. I see it as folks are mad that he’s been “taken away” from the BRF and, maybe more egregious, from the eligible bachelor pool for supposedly more suitable women.

          Also, I remain obsessed with the green dress with the cape.

          1. People are not mad he left. People are mad that he is complains that his multimillion dollar inheritance is not enough money. And people are complaining about them straight up lying around stuff. Like interview with the friend of Mandela who said he did not appreciate her lying about the comment she alleged he made at the Lion King premiere. They are hurting people with their lies. There were only two South Africans at the premiere and bit said they did not make the comments. The guy who personally knew Mandela was really hurt by it.

          2. Does it help that I dislike them both? I don’t think Meghan corrupted innocent lily white Harry. I think they’re both vengeful narcissists who deserve each other.

      3. what? Diana died because she was not wearing a seatbelt in a car with a drunk driver. Pap chase was not the main issue here.

        1. And this was press in France. It is hard when the facts don’t line up with the narrative. But, srsly, don’t get into a car with a catastrophically drunk driver who then goes at least double the speed limit.

      4. Is this a progressive space? I don’t really think it is. I see a lot of wildly conservative takes here daily.

          1. I guess we will have to agree to disagree. I feel like it’s pretty conservative in here.

      5. But the solution to this is…. to engage constantly with the press? I get wanting to air a grievance or set the record straight, but there’s been SO MUCH self-inflicted coverage that at a certain point it doesn’t seem like they hate the media at all.

    11. I’m not particularly impressed by H and M, but they absolutely no worse than his father or brother or SIL. Certainly better than Andrew. At least there are no infidelity rumors (yet…)? They are all such boring rich people and really just reality tv stars. The entire British monarchy is a plague, a drain on the tax payer and the living embodiment of a colonial past.

      I don’t blame H and M for trying to monetize what they can since it’s not like either one of them can go out and get a real job.

      1. Also, I would be so impressed if she leaned in more to her black heritage, wore her hair natural etc. But I don’t care that much and am not making any judgment at all.

      2. They don’t want a real job. He could have rejoined the army in the UK or switch to search and rescue helicopter piloting. And she could have travel blogged or something. They didn’t want out. They wanted to be ‘half in’ so they would get free housing and security while working on being celebrities in the US. I honestly think that she thought she would be the next Kim Kardashian and have Kardashian levels of $$$ without having to do all the charity events with poor people where the focus is on others.

      3. Why not? He’s trained as a helicopter pilot and could retrain from military to civilian aircraft like Will did when he worked as an air ambulance pilot. She’s an actress with a college degree from Northwestern. The Duchess of Kent stepped back from royal duties after working for years in 2002 to become a primary school music teacher, and did not go by her royal title while doing so.

        They also have millions from Harry’s inheritances, plus the money Charles provided him in 2020 after they left, as shown by the yearly reports the royals make public. (Harry did some interesting things with what “the first quarter of 2020” meant here, first saying on Oprah that’s when he was “cut off,” implying it was right after their last royal engagement in March, and then trying to mealy mouth around the fact that more money was given until June with some language about fiscal years. If my dad gives me millions when I quit my job in the family business to set up my new life, it is disingenuous to call that cutting off and even more ridiculous to say you’re “financially independent” at the time.)

        1. This. They have enough money for a comfortable life but they want to be ultra wealthy and adored.

        2. If they have millions, they need to invest that wisely and live off the interest and get out of the public eye, or at least stop doing what they’re doing.

          1. If I had $$$, I would be very good at vanishing and just being a White Lotus sort of rich person enjoying all of the rich person things, quietly.

          2. He inherited like 20 million from Diana. That’s plenty of money if you don’t go around buying $14 million houses.

          3. Hard same 1:44. I’m at a Four Seasons on vacation right now and would have no problem living at one if I were mega wealthy.

    12. They’ve set the record straight. They’ve made a career out of setting the record straight. They need to move the f— on already. They’re spending more time rehashing the minute details of their past life than they are just living their current life. I really don’t care about the royal family and honestly feel like it just shouldn’t exist, but this ongoing circus drama saga with Meghan and Harry is just a bad look for them. It’s getting to be like Keeping Up With the Kardashians or something. Do Harry and Meghan want to be normal ol’ folks or do they want to be shallow, vapid reality TV superstars? It seems like it’s the latter.

    13. Look, I don’t feel particularly strongly about any of this. I kind of thought it was cool when they got married because she seemed interesting and I like pretty fashion pictures, but that was about it. All that being said, my primary irritation is how much media airtime this story continues to take up, and it does so because they keep it alive. As someone who doesn’t follow this closely, it seems like Meghan may not have understood the difference between American-style celebrity (where judicious sharing of carefully calculated aspects of your life is a critical aspect of personal brand-building) and the role of a member of the British royal family, which seems to require subsuming your individual personality in the institution. That disconnect could have led to a lot of bad blood – it’s a fundamentally different set of expectations, basically.

      The press coverage does seem like it was quite awfully racist, although much of the negative press now seems to have much more to do with a perceived sense of entitlement/self-importance. Again, as someone who doesn’t follow the ins and outs of this (like, I remember their wedding and I watched part of the Oprah interview, and that’s it), I just don’t know why there’s still so much hoopla about this story and why I’m supposed to care about it.

      1. +1. Several things can be true at once – the press (and several RF members) are racist, the monarchy is rigid and weird, and the two of them are annoying.

      2. I think the press (and possibly members of this group) have now focused on calling it entitlement because they got called out for being racist. Same story, different words.

        If you don’t care about the royals or the former royals, skip the articles. I certainly don’t want to give the British press one eyeball impression for them to profit from, because they were truly awful.

        1. If I just focus on Harry, is that better for you? Because he is entitled and annoying and is beating a horse that is very, very dead at this point. Is that going to be his schtick for the next several decades?

          2. I am the commenter above and I will say that having watched the Oprah interview the only strong opinion I do have is that Harry seems…not very smart at all. Like, Meghan seems quite intelligent (whether you like her or not) but he struck me as Not Bright and I honestly wondered how their relationship worked.

            Although I suppose the entire pack of them* could be quite unintelligent and we’d never know since any time they speak in public it’s scripted. Certainly Andrew seems like an actual idiot (and morally awful).

            *The British royal family

          3. Agree with Harry coming off as very not bright. I think the “Megxit” nonsense is sexist and racist (he’s a grown man, she didn’t force him to do anything), but watching the two of them, I can totally believe she’s the brains of their operation.

          4. Harry is known to not be very smart. He barely graduated high school and left the army because he could not pass the tests to move up. He failed his helicopter pilot licence numerous times, he was only ever a co-pilot. William has shut down criticism of Harry and comparisons of them (William passed) in interviews many times.

            I genuinely think Harry has no understanding of the half in had out thing and why it was not allowed. He thinks it was his dad and brother being mean or jealous vs the kind of thing that is arguably not legally permissible in a constitutional monarchy. It’s a constitutional monarchy – his dad and brother don’t just get to do whatever they want and change the rules on a whim to suit him.

          5. Harry lacks emotional intelligence. Meghan is whip-smart, inquisitive, and obviously interested in learning. Based on her personality and the way she expressed herself in this series, I am sure Meghan was asking him questions before she met his family in order to try to prepare. He should have done more to help her. Obviously, he can’t do anything about the fact that the family he was born into is a bastion of institutional white supremacy, but he CAN say, “hey, my brother and sister-in-law are a bit formal, you probably shouldn’t hug them when they come over,” or “hey, here’s the order everyone curtsies and bows in when my grandmother is around,” or “I love you, let’s talk to the team about having the Princess Royal go to this engagement instead of us, and let’s take a break for awhile, honey”. It seems like from the way the story was told, he didn’t do much to be supportive or prep her at all. I really blame him for what happened to her within the family.

            Also, I wonder what Options 1 – 5 all were. Wish they had spelled that out more clearly.

    14. I mean, my main comment is that if you are tired of being treated like you live in a goldfish bowl, don’t invite the world over to tap on the glass.

  12. Anyone using the Libby app as an e-reader on an android device? I just switched from Overdrive to Libby because my library says Overdrive will be phased out. But oh my. Libby completely ate the battery on my tablet, which was in airplane mode. I used to charge my tablet once a week or so, but it went from 68 percent to 28 percent battery overnight last night while I slept.

    1. Yes, I use Libby on my Galaxy Note20. I haven’t had any issues with the battery. Are you able to verify that the app is closed? Maybe check the overall battery and power savings option? Another option could be to use the Kindle app on your phone. Using the Libby app, you can have the book delivered to Kindle.

    3. I’ve never used Libby anywhere but an Android phone, but I’ve never had this issue, either. Agree with the “send to Kindle” feature – it can go to the Kindle app if you don’t have a standalone, which may be kinder to your battery.

    4. An app shouldn’t eat battery if it’s not open. Sounds like a hardware problem to me.

    7. I know iPhones allow this but have no experience with android. Does your tablet let you check specifically which apps are using battery and so you know for sure it is Libby? Or are you chalking it up to Libby and it could be a different reason?

      I recently switch to Libby from Overdrive for the same reason with no noticeable increase in battery use.

    8. I download from Libby but read in either the kindle app or on my actual kindle. Maybe that would help.

  13. After a slight health scare and on my doctor and dietitian’s recommendation, I am adopting the Mediterranean diet.

    My dietician is great but she doesn’t recommend recipes or develop meal plans because she wants us to tailor the diet to our personal tastes.

    Looking for recopie and snack recommendations! I meal prep all of my meals and would like to continue to do so. I Eat a big breakfast and lunch and end up having a light dinner or just a snack. I’m relatively flexible on what I eat but I don’t care for eggs

    2. My comment went into moderation, but I provided some links. Mediterranean diet follower of decades here, so will be happy to support and answer questions.

      2. Will also add that bean/grain/vegetable salads for lunch are the best. I fix the components on the weekend and then combine each evening, add a small container of dressing and carry to work. They are filling and not boring.

        Brown rice, farro, quinoa for the grains. Lentils, chick peas, and white beans for the beans. Tomato, cukes, carrots, beets (I buy the already cooked ones), arugula, spinach, zucchini in season, or roasted winter squash for the veggie. Various vinegrettes for the dressing. Or just lemon juice and evoo.

    3. I just heard a great talk at NYU for a Conference on Stroke. The keynote speaker gave an impressive talk on prevention strategies to decrease cardiovascular risk (eg. heart attacks) and strokes. What is amazing is that the new (crazy expensive….) medicines that are being developed often help less than what the data has already shown to have a huge long term benefit. And deep down you know what this is….

      Vegan diet
      Vegetarian diet
      Mediterranean diet

      What was also impressive? That people on UNHEALTHY vegan/vegetarian diets, actually did worse over the long term than those on “typical” animal based diets. I think we all know this. Eating my favorite bag of potato chips, is vegan…..

      She also was pointing thumbs down on alcohol (certainly don’t add it to your diet if you decide to start the Mediterranean approach), or 1 glass per day. And it has become quite popular among the cardiologists to do intermittent fasting, ideally with a reasonable nocturnal down time for not eating rather than starving yourself all day and overeating at dinner/night.

      The choice of your diet data was really impressive. And seeing it side by side with medications, it makes you wonder … what the hell are we doing?

      Of course, basic exercise – even just walking to doing ANY activity that moves your body. Anything for 20′ a few to several times a week… leads to an impressive benefit.

      1. The people I know who have been most successful on the healthy variety of vegan and vegetarian diets are people who aren’t really interested in food. Unfortunately. I wish it were all easier.

  14. The Worldle post made me think of two other games that I like to start the day off with: Yeardle and PopCultured.

    Yeardle is a guessing game where you start with three random events that happened in a specific year of history (from the dawn of civilization up to modern times), then take guesses as to which year they all occurred. This game has exposed my sad lack of knowledge about Asian and African history.

    A sister game to Yeardle is PopCultured. In this one, you start with three different types of media (movies, TV, books, video games, and songs) then take guesses as to which year they all premiered/released. I generally do much better on this one, as long as a film or book is involved. Video games are my blind spot in this game.

    2. I like Wordle and the NYT crossword and spelling bee — all in the NYT app.

      My husband really likes Heardle, but I’m terrible at it! (Guessing songs based on one second of play, plays longer with each guess. I know no music, apparently!)

      2. I play wordle and spelling bee at mighnigjt when they refresh. I am obsessed! (And also in CA)

    3. Oh my gosh, my time to shine. Some others for your consideration:

      Waffle, a grid with disarranged letters that you need to swap back into place, also has a deluxe puzzle once a week

      Squardle, a grid with letters that you connect via a single line to make words, my current obsession

      Quordle, a four simultaneous wordles (not that bad once you get the hang of it, plus they have endless “practice” puzzles if you have a lot of time to kill)

      Semantle, where you try to nail down the word/concept based on similarity to your guesses (this one is pretty hard and my least favorite)

      All free, new puzzles daily

      1. Semantle is SO HARD. I think I have reasonably good verbal skills and I am completely befuddled by it.

  15. I recently took a role where I am #2 on a small team of 6. I don’t gift up, but I want to extend some appreciation to the rest of the team – a little giftcard and note since I am only 1 month into role. Is $15 or $20 too ‘cheap’ and what is a good universal giftcard?

    1. do the others report to you or are they your peers and you’re just a more senior title?

      1. +1 would be very weird to get a gift from a more senior peer. Only gift if you are their manager.

        1. yeah this is where I was going with my question! If no reporting relationship, it would be OTT to give a gift, and set a weird precedent for peer gift-giving going forward.

          1. I manage one person who manages two others. So, a reporting relationship, correct? There’s an admin and then my boss.

          2. hm ok. Can you consult with your own manager on prior holiday approach? Like, my current manager does not do gifts to his reports, which I love because there’s no unwritten expectation of reciprocity, but if yours does gift “down” as well, you’d want your own gifts to be similar or less in $.

          3. I’ve never gotten a holiday gift from anyone who wasn’t a direct manager so I’d talk to your manager before gifting to anyone who isn’t your direct report.

    2. If you’re on-site, is there a local coffee place? I think $15 or $20 is perfectly fine and kind.

    3. In this situation I’ve done the same bottle of wine for each person, or a nice bread for each (banana bread or a fancy bakery savoury bread – it can go on a holiday table), or a coffee gift or gift card. Always well received.

  16. Hello, help me out while I wait to get in to my dentist? I’m pretty sure I have early gingivitis — sore gums, bleed when flossed. What can I do to reverse it? I haven’t been flossing, so I’ll get back on that daily. Are there toothpastes or mouthwashes that help?

    1. My wife had good results with the Crest formulated for gum health (like pro-health or something). Your dentist will have more advice, too.

    3. sensodyne toothpaste for sensitive gums. my dentist recommended it to me, and i feel like it’s helped a bit in between dentist visits.

      1. +1 – check with your oncologist and your dentist. And tell your dentist about your chemo and cancer treatment. Mine gave me a prescription toothpaste for enamel protection.

    7. Flossing is the big thing. Brush twice a day. Get an electric toothbrush.

      That’s plenty. Get on a good routine. See where you stabilize. Then get your dentist’s advice.

      FYI – gum disease can also be partially genetic and hormonal. For example, my Mom had horrible gum disease and she ate/took much better care of her teeth than any of us. Also, it got worse during perimenopause. She had to go to her dentist every 3-4 months for deep cleaning/various treatments. And when she went on estrogen/hormone replacement for her terrible menopause symptoms….. her gum disease went away. Completely.

    8. Thanks, all. I’ll get into the dentist ASAP, but they’re closed for the holidays at the moment, so I want to do my best to mitigate in the interim. I think I got myself here by taking melatonin gummies, often after brushing my teeth, on top of the cancer/postpartum vulnerability. Shouldn’t be a hard fix, I hope, but its more than I’ve had to do before.

    9. From what I know: inflamed gums are caused by bacteria, which thrive in the plaque – so getting the plaque & bacteria under control is key.

      What worked for me is:
      * Brush with sodium bicarbonate toothpaste 2x daily. It helps remove more plaque vs non-bica toothpaste. Parodontax is a great option. Or a toothpaste with chlorhexidine [kills bacteria], Curasept has plenty.
      * Use interdental brushes at least 1x daily, after you have brushed your teeth. Then floss. You will probably need 2 sizes of interdental brushes – one for narrow and one for wider interdental spaces. Your dentist/hygienist can do the proper measurement for you. As a start, I would just get a small pack of some universal size and get into the habit of using them daily.
      * Use antibacterial mouthwash [non-coloring chlorhexidine one].
      * If you have a severe inflammation, you can get an antibacterial, soothing gel, which you then apply on your gums as the last step of this routine.

      From my experience, the antibacterial mouthwash and DAILY use of interdental brushes are key.

    10. I’ve pretty much reversed it with daily flossing + Listerine + I think its sensodyne toothpaste, so its definitely worth trying all that. For me the bleeding decreased a lot even after flossing a couple times.

    12. Brush twice daily with a good-quality electric toothbrush
      Floss twice daily with both floss AND a WaterPik
      Rinse with 3M Oral Care – PerioMed

    13. I use:
      a waterpik (recommend starting on gentle!!!) — I used this 2x per day.
      brushing after every meal with a flouride toothpaste
      mouthwash

      Regardless, I always need dental “deep cleans” and have a lot of cavities.

      Best wishes!!

  17. Has anyone ever had an endometrial ablation for heavy periods? How was your recovery and did it help? Considering this after finding no other causes of the heavy bleeding. Done having kids and sterilized, so not concerned about that aspect.

    1. I asked about it, along with other options, and my doc recommended a hysterectomy instead (which I was fine with). His reasoning was that I was at an age (43) where there was a reasonable chance I’d need the ablation again before being done with periods for good. I had my hysterectomy and only wish I’d done it sooner.

    2. My sister had it for fibroids and permanent sterilization. No more periods. She loves it.

    3. Hi! Yes, I did 2 years ago & it was the very best. I was feeling great the next day. Periods are almost non-existent now which is so awesome.

  18. Posting for a lawyer friend. She’s worked for a small local law firm for about 3 years–the first 2 years were part time while she was in law school, and then a year full time after she passed the bar in 2021. She’s paid somewhere in the 80k range. She has felt that she’s underpaid for how much she works but she likes her firm so she went to them at her 1 year (of working as an attorney, not her part time work) review to try to negotiate a raise. They gave her a small raise and assured her that her end of year bonus would make up the rest. She got her bonus today and it ended up being less than 5%, and not taking her near the number she asked for in her negotiation. From what she’s told me, she bills a ton–well over 1920 for the year, which is the threshold to be bonus eligible. Their response is because she’s a first year associate, that’s their bonus structure and it will grow as she gets more experience.

    I have no dog in this fight but was curious what bonus structures look like at other Medium/Small law places and if what she experienced it pretty normal or if she should jump ship.

    2. I’m not a practicing attorney anymore but I’d want to know the size of the law firm, practice area and location. She only worked there one year! Part time while in law school could be 10 hours a week. From the information in your post, she seems to have high Expectations.

      1. Firm is pretty small, maybe 15 attorneys or less? Practice area is L&E in a metro area in the Midwest. It definitely could be a case of outsized expectations

    4. sounds about right. at my very small law firm bonuses were hourly, so each hour above minimum you got x dollars per hour. at my larger law firm the bonus is worse, have to bill 100 hours over minimum and then it’s a flat rate, far less than 5% of my salary. the real question is whether the base salary is out of step with other small law firms in town, but the only real solution is to leave for a larger firm or a higher paying small firm in my experience.

    5. A good rule of thumb for lawyers at law firms is that your salary should be about 1/3 of the revenue you bring into the firm. So she should multiple her billing rate by that 1920 hours as a benchmark for her salary and go from there.

    6. I worked at a small firm– 10-15 attorneys in medical malpractice in the Southeast– and this level of compensation/bonus was standard for us. (I typically got a $5-10k raise per year and little to no bonus.) We were actually better paid than other comparable firms in town and significantly better paid than government attorneys, so the firm thought their compensation was “generous.” I also thought I was well-paid most of the time I was there. I suspect what your friend’s expectations have to do with the fact that BigLaw salaries have been dramatically rising over the past 2-3 years, and her firm’s comp has stayed the same. This was true in my city, and most of the associates/staff have either negotiated raises by getting the firm to match offers from other firms or have left in the past year. Notably, this type of comp really only fell out of line with market in the past year. Unfortunately for your friend, she is not in a great position to explain that to her firm as a 1-year associate and should consider getting an offer from elsewhere to either negotiate a raise or leave.

  19. Should I tell my boss I’m looking for a new job? I’ve been unhappy at work for some time and am ramping up my search and starting to interview. Boss announced she is planning a month-long absence in about eight weeks (yes just announced, yes she is a maniac), for which she expects me to cover her duties. I may or may not have a new position by then. It would crush me to have to pass up a role because I was beholden to current boss to cover while she’s away. The business could not run without someone doing my boss’s job – it’s 100% critical.
    The danger I see is that she may lay me off right away (business’s finances are tight), which I could not really afford. She may also just be a general glassbowl to me for the rest of the time I work for her, which could be anywhere from two weeks to forever. Boss and I are friends, not super close (but we know each other well enough that if I said I couldn’t cover her leave without giving a reason, that wouldn’t fly). I’ve worked there for years and she will take my leaving personally. How should I proceed??

    1. Don’t let her bad planning be the reason you don’t take another job. And don’t tell her!

      1. +1
        You provide the company with a service in a given month, the company pays you salary. This is as much as you owe the company and the company owes you. If there would be layoffs, your boss and the company would drop you immediately without a second thought.
        You keep job searching and the moment you have a signed offer letter, you announce to your current company, giving them the exact minimum notice time you are legally obliged.
        If the boss takes your leave personally, well, that’s her problem, not yours. The business will absolutely run without you covering for your boss – they can pass the responsibility to someone with a higher paygrade to figure it out. Don’t fall into the perception the company rests on your shoulders, everyone can be replaced and don’t let them emotionally blackmail you.
        In my company, we discuss our yearly objectives as well as career aspiration and development plan during mid- and end-year process. This is where I would voice my dis/satisfaction with how my job is fulfilling me or whether my salary fall behind the market etc. This is where your boss should make sure you are happy, motivated, satisfied, developed. If your boss is a skilled people manager, this is their opportunity to identify retention risks and should take appropriate action.
        One advice: it’s fine to be friendly with your boss, but I would caution being friends.

      2. I agree on both accounts! If you leave and it’s 100% critical someone does that job, then it’s the company’s job to either get boss to leave her absence early OR get someone else in that position. It’s not your job to single handedly make sure the company stays afloat!

      3. Absolutely this. If you leave at an inconvenient time it will be her problem, not yours.

    2. Absolutely not. And for the record, it’s unprofessional to take someone’s leaving (of they are polite and fulfil their job duties) personally, so if she does that’s on her.
      You would probably want to plan to train someone else to be her backup if she’s already gone for the month when you get an offer, so consider taking very good/clear notes on what you’re being trained to do.

    3. Absolutely not. Do not tell her.
      AAM has a lot on this question if you search the archives.

    4. Say nothing, roll with boss’s planning. Interview per usual, accept a new offer and give your two weeks to your boss’s boss. This is a business transaction – you don’t owe anyone anything.

    7. If a job is 100% critical to the business, then you need more than 2 people who are able to do it, especially if one is taking a month long absence. Absolutely do NOT tell her you are leaving, but if you have a guilty conscious and are good at boundaries, you can absolutely suggest she train another backup for you before she leaves. What if you’re sick? What if you have an emergency? What if something goes wrong? If she doesn’t do that even after you suggest it, then you really can leave knowing you did everything reasonable to leave on good terms.

      1. Nitpicky and maybe just autocorrect got you, but it’s “guilty conscience.”

  20. i’m jewish and just for some context live in a blue city in a red state. yesterday i was talking with a friend who lives three blocks away about putting out exterior Chanukah decorations or a menorah in her window and she was saying how while they have a mezuzah on their door she doesn’t feel totally safe putting out anything that indicates she is Jewish. There are many Christmas decorations in our neighborhood and some Chanukah ones, and our family decided to put up some Chanukah ones, but I must admit that before purchasing them and suggesting it to my kids, I asked DH if he thought we were putting a target on our backs, but we ultimately decided we want our kids to feel proud of their religion and heritage, but all of the conversations just made me so so sad that in 2022 I need to actually think twice about doing something like this.

    1. Yeah we did blue and white lights this year at our 4 year old’s request, but I vetoed DH suggestion that we put up a big menorah outside. Just seems like it would be potentially making us a target. Purple city, red state. It is really sad.

      1. obviously you know your area best, but people will never get used to seeing menorahs and decor from other faiths if we are all to scared to put them up

        1. I’m not sure “scared” is quite the right word. My kids attend Sunday school in a temple, which is probably a much greater objective risk in terms of our/their physical safety, given all the recent gun violence in synagogues. This just feels like it’s sort of unnecessary and might make our neighbors less welcoming so why call attention to ourselves this way? I definitely wish we lived somewhere where I didn’t think this would be the case though.

    2. I’m also Jewish but in the NYC area so tons of other Jews. This post is probably the saddest thing I have ever read on this blog. Not to say you are not justified in questioning your safety. It’s just so sad that your feelings are reasonable.

      1. I am not Jewish, but reading this also made me sad! It is terrible that you can’t feel safe practicing your religion visibly!

    3. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this and wish it was different. You should be proud that you put up the decorations. Our kids have been learning about different religions in school and would have been so excited to see yours.

    4. Live in a suburban area of a big SEUS city. Not Jewish but grew up outside of NYC with many Jewish friends. As a fellow member of an Abrahamic faith though, I would put up all of that in solidarity with you (but I put up nothing b/c decorating is not my thing). So sorry that you feel this way, but people in this world are messed up (not you).

    5. Red city in a purple state. We’re Christian but we switched all of our Christmas decorations to blue and white this year after our Jewish neighbor expressed concern about standing out too much in our neighborhood of multicolored lights. I offered to follow her color theme and she really appreciated it. I also moved our security camera so it picks up the front of her yard and driveway as well – you can’t really see her house but you could see if anyone approached her house from the street. It’s so, so sad that people are feeling this way in this day and age.

    6. I’m an atheist from the Christmas tradition. Maybe I will put up some sort of outdoor Chanukah decor in solidarity, if ok with you.

      We already have some white lights (not a ton) and a red and green candy cane thing.

      2. Thank you for the phrase “atheist from the Christmas tradition” – I have been looking for something like this!

      3. So, my husband cluelessly bought blue and white “Christmas” lights and we had them up for several years. We lived in south Florida so those colors were not unusal. Not to take away from the seriousness of the issue. It is sickening to see anti-semitism on the rise in this country, once again.

    7. I have actually been thinking about posting something similar. I am so saddened that we feel this way. I have even questioned the safety of going to Jewish-oriented events and utilizing our local JCC. I can’t believe this is where we are. Hugs.

      1. Same. I’m not taking down our mezuzah, but I do feel a little shiver of unease when we have a lot of people we don’t know well coming into the house (we’ve been getting estimates for some major home repairs).

      2. I hate that we are here again. It’s unsurprising but I hate it. (I’m not Jewish, but many of my childhood friends in the Chicago suburbs were the grandchildren of Holocaust survivors.)

    8. I’m so sad for you and the fact that anyone has to think about this in 2022!

      This is the time of year that I always miss the elderly landlord we had when we were first married. He was a Jewish fellow who had fled Berlin with his parents when he was a kid. The family went first to London, then to AMERICA, as he’d always emphasize it. He was so kind and smart and thoughtful, and he just adored us. Since he lived a few houses down from our place, he’d pop over with candies or a box of cookies the minute he saw we’d put up our tree, because he wanted to make sure *we* were having a nice Christmas. While I’m sorry he was gone before he could meet our kids, I’m glad he doesn’t have to see the level of anti-Semitism we have in this country right now.

    9. Thank you to those who would decorate in solidarity with blue and white. This is what Whitefish, Montana, did a few years ago, and it was extremely successful. I will post a link in reply to this about it.

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