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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 145 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: ‘My Byline of Work’ Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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ModCloth My Byline of Work Dress | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This dress also comes in black, but there are customer pictures of themselves in the dresses in the red, so that's the one I'm pointing you to first. (Can I just say how much I love real women uploading pictures of themselves in their dresses? I think Rent the Runway started it, and ModCloth, which is where this dress is from, also encourages it.) As for the dress, I like the tiny flounce at the bottom, the scoop neck, and — hold the phone — it has pockets and is machine washable. To top it off, the dress is only $89, which automatically gets you free shipping (over $75). The dress is available in sizes XS-3x (and up to 4X in black). (If you're new, upon signup you instantly get a code for $20 off a purchase of $100+ — if you need a little help getting over the $100 minimum: this $20 belt is highly rated and looks really cute, or I’ve heard great things from readers about this cardigan.) ModCloth ‘My Byline of Work' Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)

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Comments

  1. KT

    I…hate this dress. Sorry Kat. It looks like the intern-who-doesn’t-understand-work-apparel dress. Like a costume of what they think work people wear (I tend to think that of a lot of ModCloth’s stuff).

    It may be because I have a vendetta against cap sleeves and armpits, since they look weird with a cardigan or a blazer.

    Or maybe I’m just a grumpy old person.

    • Anonymous

      I agree 100%. “Intern-who-doesn’t-understand-work-apparel” is the perfect description of this dress.

    • Xarcade

      I’m with you. There’s something about the cut of the armhole at the front and under the arm that just reads “unprofessional.” There’s a little too much skin showing at the front of the arm, right under the “sleeve.”

      • Cat

        +1 – it’s also the quality of the fabric, which looks like it would turn my hips into an accordion in about 2 minutes of sitting down.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. Poor patterning. AND the fabric looks awful, v cheap.

        One of my friends has a really cute summer party dress from Modcloth – it is yellow eyelet. I think of them as more cute-casual dresses than workwear.

      • Miz Swizz

        Yes! I don’t understand a cap sleeve that prominently displays your armpit, or the skin right in front of it. That’s largely the reason I don’t wear cap sleeves.

    • that intern

      lol oops! I totally thought it was cute. I guess I am “that intern.” Good to see this feedback.

      • anon

        It is cute. But there’s a lot of cute stuff you don’t wear to work! IME it’s a distinction that takes some time and observing other women to master.

      • Ellen

        Yay! Count me in the cute camp also! I love this dress and I showed the manageing partner and he know’s that the Judge LOVES me in RED, so I will get it and the manageing partner will pay for all of it!!!! He know’s that I do NOT have my credit card until Thank’sgiving, and that we have a number of IMPORTANT cases pendeing in front of his freind, so that if I come in with this new red dress, he will probabley grant all of our motion’s and we can impress our cleint’s again!!!!

        So for those who do NOT like this dress, understand that we like it b/c we will deduct the cost of it as we win cases. Frank says we can EXPENSE it, whatever that mean’s. YAY!!!!

    • Cream Tea

      Agreed. Sorry, Kat – this is so wrong. It looks like something a 16 year old would wear to a tea party.

    • LF

      I agree. And it looks really cheap, like it’s made of flimsy material that wrinkles easily. Since dress in the picture is, indeed, full of creases.

      • anon

        Yep. Modcloth is super cheap, in general. I have some cute sundresses/pool cover ups from there, but that’s about it.

      • A

        That’s not an outfit I’d wear to work, and I work in a casual office! The title of the dress implies that it might be appropriate for women who work in journalism or something.

      • KT

        Yeah…I’ve worked in some laidback places, but no way would this outfit fly in any place I worked.

      • Wildkitten

        That would be fine in a lot of casual workplaces – but only because she put on a sweater to hide the weird armpit cut outs.

    • Lyssa

      I think that it’s really cute, but, . . . . I think that it’s really, well, cute.

      But I do think that it would be fine in most offices with a jacket or sweater and conservative shoes.

    • Pretty Primadonna

      I do not like this either, even for non-work wear, and I like “twee” clothing. And I agree that it looks cheap.

    • anon-oh-no

      totally agree. I rarely post when I don’t like something, but this is really not work appropriate — it might be OK at a summer picnic, but I wouldn’t wear it.

      I am a fan of Modcloth, but this looks cheap.

  2. Anon

    Alright ladies, immediate TJ: I’m worried I’m going to be fired for a mistake I didn’t make. I tried to discuss with my supervisor the events leading to the mistake, and that it wasn’t my mistake and that I took steps to rectify the situation immediately upon discovery. Ultimately it seems i was not successful in making my case, and others at my org have been fired in the exact same situation.

    I’m hoping for anecdotes about how you bounced back after a firing, how you explained it in interviews, etc.

    • Anonymous

      Do you have documentation to back up your side of the story? If your supervisor does not want to talk about it, email him/her the documentation, so there is a record of your actions. This also gives you the opportunity to chronicle the events in the email blow-by-blow.
      Print out the emails so you have something to take to HR, and for your records.

      • Meg Murry

        Yes, if you have documentation proving that you didn’t make the mistake – get your own copy (print it, put it in a folder and take it home) because if you get fired the first thing they will do is cut off your email and server access.

        I’m sorry you are going through this, and hopefully you can mitigate it and avoid termination, or at best, have a case to get unemployment benefits.

        Is your boss on your side, or is he the one that is throwing you under the bus? Or is this a case of “I know the data in the report was added by Bob, but your name is the one on the report so you are ultimately responsible for making sure Bob’s data is correct.”

        • Anon

          I am sorry this happened to you.

          But, if someone’s on a work vendetta against you, having “evidence” really won’t help. Do you really want a job back in a toxic environment? Do you think that waving an email around will “convince” someone that has taken action against you, or is about to take one, to change their mind? If your supervisor is not standing behind you on this, I wouldn’t want him or her to be in charge of me.

          I am not trying to make you feel bad, but I would focus less on making your case and more on strategizing your exit. I’m sorry this happened, like I said. Get ready to move on though.

    • Hollis

      Agreed. Also, on the other side, if you have any positive things in your system like an e-mail from a client praising your work or your reviews, print those out now as well. Also, print out your list of contacts. Finally, if you have a mentor or someone who is squarely on your side, be sure you tell them your side of the story so they can advocate for you.

  3. anon

    I just started reading Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office and it turns out I’ve never thought about establishing my brand. What are ways in which you all do that? I’m looking for more specific examples than the general guidelines that the book offers. Thanks!

    • KT

      What are you interested in/good at?I’m in PR, but I really love social media, so I sought out to establish myself as the go-to social-media person. I learned everything I could, attended social media conferences on my own time, and identified ways we could use social for our company that hadn’t been done before.

      Be passionate, learn all you can, and identify key places where this expertise could be applied

  4. Scarf with red in it

    I am on the hunt for a scarf with red in it to wear in the winter (can be silk (Hermes-ish) or something else but hopefully not a sheer floaty thing). I love red and think that I’d wear more of my red items if I could work in a scarf that had neutrals (some of black, white, gray or tan) and red in it. I seem to find scarfs with a lot of other colors in it or friends-of-red (burgundy, wines, orangy-reds), but I’m looking for red. And then the challenge with red and neutrals is that it not look like what stewardesses wore (back when we called them stewardesses) but a legitimate accessory to wear to work.

    [I saw a lovely segment on the new for a woman who wore a uniform and it involved lots of 3-color scarves and I feel like it was my burning bush moment. So: on a true mission to find scarves.]

  5. Me2

    Do you have any allies in management you can go to ASAP to take up your case? I once went in for my semi-annual review at a place only to have my manager tell me that I wasn’t a team-player, he was giving me 2 weeks to be done. I had made some mistakes but it was also a case of politics – him coming in and wanting to clean house. I was fortunate because I had formerly worked right under the Director of Administration who thought highly of me and was aware of some of my manager’s issues w others on the team. I went right to that person and he was very helpful. Ultimately I did resign but with 6 weeks of paid vacation and a good reference from the Director of Admin that helped me land my next job. It was a clean slate on a new team where I was appreciated and from there I went onto something even better. You will get through this, this is just a bump in the road.

  6. A

    Y’know, I love ModCloth, and a huge chunk of my work attire has come from there, but I’m not a fan of this dress. The color is nice for autumn, but the skirt is weird, the sleeves are weird, and the fabric looks cheap and flimsy. Doesn’t look like it’s worth $89. If you’re gonna show something from ModCloth, why not the Workday Darling skirt? It’s a black pencil skirt with white polka dots. They just got it back in stock and mine shipped yesterday!

  7. smoker help

    One of my closest friends smokes. We’re in our mid-30s, and she has smoked as long as I’ve known her (over a decade). She is a brilliant and wonderful woman, and I know she knows it’s not good for her. I have never said anything about it. But I worry. Most people I knew who smoked in their 20s quit by now. I think she’s going to be a smoker for life. But I know there’s probably nothing I can say that would make her consider quitting… right? Or is there?

    • KT

      No–this is one she has to do on her own. She knows it’s bad for her, it’s up to her to decide whether or not she wants to quit.

    • Wildkitten

      She might quit when/if she has kids. It’s common for people to radically change their habits at that time.

    • Anonny

      If she hasn’t asked for help or given very obvious clues that she wants help, it’s none of your business.

    • roses

      I don’t think she needs a reminder that it’s not good for her, but I have a decent number of college friends who decided to stop smoking when it became socially inconvenient to do so. Like if we were eating on a patio and they asked if we minded if they smoked, at some point we all said “yes.” So while I wouldn’t shame her or say anything in particular, I also wouldn’t go out of my way to accommodate her habit.

      • Runner 5

        +1. I would, when possible, organise group events at places where it’s inconvenient to have a cigarette. I mean, not necessarily at your house when it’s cold and they’d have to stand outside, but at a bar where they can’t smoke indoors.

    • Anon

      As someone who just quit and is in her 30s, I’ll depart from the pack a little bit and say that it can’t hurt to tell her something like this: “I know you know that smoking is bad, and I know it’s probably annoying for me to bring it up, but I wanted to let you know that I care about you and I worry for your health. I won’t bring it up again but you’re important enough to me to bring it up once. If you decide to try to quit, I’ll support you however I can.”

      Knowing that people I care about worried about my habit increased my desire to quit, and ultimately I did.

      • Anon

        And by “just,” I mean 3.5 months ago. I feel confident that I’m done for good.

      • Carrie...

        I agree with this. Bring it up once, but not in a judgmental way but in a caring way.

        I also agree that you do not accommodate her smoking when she is around you. Make it inconvenient.

      • Anon for this

        I agree with this. I smoked regularly (one or two a day) until I was 28. On New Years Eve, my husband told me (as I was lighting up a cigarette) that he wished I would quit because he was starting to get nervous that I never would, and that he’d lose me prematurely. He had expressed his disapproval before, but never actually looked me in the eye and spelled it out for me. That was just what I needed to fully quit. I haven’t had a cigarette since – that was over 3 years ago.

    • Anon

      Just don’t accommodate her. I make it perfectly clear to smokers that they cannot smoke in my home and they cannot pet my animals (because then they smell and I have to bathe my fluffs). Honestly they usually begrudgingly understand and can self reflect that their own bad habit is making life hard

    • Brit

      As someone who works in tobacco prevention, I agree you don’t want to hound her about it, but definitely don’t accommodate her, like Anon at 10:38 said. Also, know that if she every does voice that she should quit or wants help quitting, there’s plenty of help out there. In PA (where I’m based) there’s a free phone quitline she can call that offers phone counseling and medication and your state health department should have a list of resources in your local area.

  8. K

    I had planned to recommend this dress in red because it’s under $100 and a true wear-to-work dress, but the red doesn’t seem to be available anymore: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/adrianna-papell-pleated-crepe-dress/3875738?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=193

    It’s knee-length, lined and has a nice amount of stretch. I think it’s a much better option. And I say this as someone who loves red and could definitely wear the dress posted above to work…

  9. Shopaholic

    What do you wear for the equivalent of a baby or wedding shower in the fall/winter? I have lots of cute silky or floral dresses that I would wear for a summer event but I’m a little stumped for a fall/winter event.

    Thanks all!

    • Anonymous

      Sweaterdress and boots or pumps depending on how cold it is and how formal the event is. Or one of your more summer-y dresses winterized with a jacket and boots (probably doesn’t work for floral prints, although I’ve seen bloggers do it).

  10. Inner Peace

    Hello Ladies,
    for those who took a serious, undoable decision and had regrets later on (don´t we all), how did you find inner peace and a sense of closure?

    • NYC tech

      I read somewhere once that there are two kinds of regret/guilt. There is the productive sort, where our reflections on the past lead to insight that helps us make better choices in the future. And there is the unproductive sort, which is about stewing and feeling bad. I find it helpful, if I start to feel guilt or regret, to sit back for a moment and deliberately assess whether this is productive or unproductive guilt. If productive, I accept the temporary bad feeling, and try to clarify what I should take away from the situation. Repeat as necessary. If unproductive, I try to firmly tell myself that this is not helpful, and then distract myself as necessary to get away from those thoughts. Exercise, call a friend, read a book, watch a movie, etc.

      This strategy has been tremendously helpful with parenting-related guilt, where you always have something to feel bad about, if you choose.

      • Calico

        This is a great response. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by all my regrets. I realized it was a way I was sabotaging myself. Wearing the hair shirt literally changes nothing besides ruining the present moment. One thing that was helpful to me, in addition to everything NYC tech wrote, was a podcast called Invisibilia. They did one about the power of thoughts and examined different disciplines of therapy and their approach to managing negative thoughts. The one that struck a chord with me was about not giving any credence to these thoughts when they pop up. I tell myself, “it’s ok that you have these thoughts, many do, but they aren’t true so let it go.” I have found it helps stop me from going down the rabbit hole.

    • moss

      Totally agree with NYC tech. If I’m worrying about something, especially at night when I’m trying to fall asleep, I force myself to postpone worrying about it until the daytime, when the problem seems smaller and also I am able to do something about it if needed.

      For something I can’t do anything about, that’s in the past, I will convince myself that it would have turned out MUCH WORSE had I not chosen the course I did and try to forgive myself and count my blessings, etc. The usual.

    • anon

      Me! I have regrets! Sometimes, when I regret a choice I made I realize I am imagining the alternative with rose colored glasses. For example. I am 30 and single. Once in a while I’ll regret breaking up with bf I had at 25, because I imagine I’d have all the great things I have now in my life, *and* a super great bf. That is not necessarily the case and I have no way of knowing what that alternate reality actually would look like. Maybe if I stayed with him I wouldn’t have done xyz abc. Maybe we’d have gotten divorced. Who knows? That allows me to stop tormenting myself. Or, I regret moving across the country. Ain’t got no idea what it would be like if I stayed.

  11. Rose

    Can I ask what have you negotiated when taking a new position with a different company? Salary, vacation, signing bonus? I’ve never been in a position to negotiate before so I’m just curious what some of you have been successful or not successful in negotiating just to get more knowledge in this area.

    • Anonymous

      What you’ve mentioned, plus bonuses generally (we sometimes guarantee them if we know you’re leaving money on the table at a current employer), work flexibility, ability to bring your own hires over, subsidizing other benefits, moving expenses, review timing (going from 1 year out to 6 mos, etc.). . . and none of this is black and white -so guaranteeing 50%of a bonus, etc.

    • Anonymous

      I asked for more salary and more vacation time. I got the vacation but they wouldn’t budge on salary. Medium size law firm, coming in as a mid-level associate.

    • Diana Barry

      Salary was the biggest one. I was coming from a big firm to a small firm and knew I would be taking a big pay cut, but managed to bump it up 25% from their initial offer.

    • ss

      Make sure you understand the deliverables of the role in question, how they relate to the unit’s goals or the company’s strategy, how the company benefits if the goals are achieved, and finally how an enhanced position for the unit or the company translates into benefits for you (a bigger bonus, opportunities for progress etc etc).

      As you get more senior and start to carry management/ P&L responsibility, you should expect job negotiations to cover specific goals, along with a strategic discussion about what you’d need in terms of resources to deliver those goals, and very likely, specific numbers in terms of variable compensation if the goals are delivered, or if some goals vs. all goals are delivered, and so on. I have this type of discussion with most folks I hire – I find I get a lot of useful insight and a successful candidate starts off with a very clear view of what she should be aiming to achieve.

      • Manageress

        I really like this answer, thank you. The other answers are helpful as well (don’t get me wrong) but it’s hard to understand how to tailor your negotiating style and terms as you progress up through the organization. Thank you!

      • Rose

        This is a great answer, not that the others aren’t but helps me understand the “bigger picture” that needs to be considered . Thank you!

    • In House

      I was told before I even interviewed that salary, vacation, and benefits (zero) were not negotiable (was actually advised that I should not interview if I could not accept the job on the terms offered) . I am a firm believer in negotiating, but I took the cue and did not attempt to negotiate any of these items. After I was offered the job, though, I was able to negotiate a different title – but know your audience, at some companies, a different title would have meant a different pay scale, and a parking space.

    • Brant

      Last time I switched companies, I negotiated starting bonus and salary. I have since been promoted a few times internally and have negotiated salary (this is harder once you’re already in, but it was do-able because the roles were so different), flex work arrangements (I now work 100% from home, but at one point was in the office 5x/week. Slowly backed away from that since i travel so much more now), title, and maternity leave (we have paid mat leave, but I wanted more. We have a PTO policy where this can be accommodated with business unit approval, which I got. Went from 8 to 12 weeks paid).

      When i moved internally, bonus was NOT negotiable, and I know that, since our bonus levels are strictly tied to levels. My last move/promotion was essentially the department begging me to take the role and give up my sweet gig, so they were willing to do a lot to make it worth my while.

    • Curious

      Tacking on to this q – has anyone NOT negotiated an offer? I received a very fair offer (competitive) with great perks that was above market. I asked my friends in HR and they recommended I not negotiate since the offer was in line with/above expectations. So I didn’t. But it just felt strange not negotiating. Has anyone else just taken the first offer?

      • In house

        I didn’t negotiate my in-house offer because they kept spontaneously increasing the starting salary until it was just $10K below my firm salary. At that point I didn’t want to push my luck and just took the offer. I feel very fortunate to have escaped the firm and would have taken a much bigger paycut to do so.

      • Anonymous

        I have always been a negotiator, but I didn’t negotiate when I received an offer in my current position. In the interviews we discussed what I was looking for financially and they explained their benefits (it’s a large company where time off and other benefits are based title and years of service and are non-negotiable). They offered my the top of the range in pay and the title I wanted, so there really wasn’t anything to negotiate. I’m glad I didn’t just for the sake of doing it, since now that I’ve been there a year I feel like I had standing to ask for a raise in my review, since I hadn’t asked for anything from them yet (and I did get the raise).

    • SSJD

      I’ve negotiated title, option grant, length of maternity leave (I was not pregnant at the time), time to next performance review/promotion (getting it accelerated can mean a raise in less than one year from hire date), and start date.

  12. Blonde Lawyer

    I have taken so many good recommendations from the comments here that I figured I would share two of my latest happy finds.

    Some posters were asking about flat shoes to wear at a standing desk. I just got these shoes from Payless in Taupe and love them. I still throw on heels to go into a client meeting but these are professional enough that I can go from my standing desk to the printer in them. They are also great for driving (the original purpose) if you don’t like driving in your heels. Rather than shleping mine back and forth I might get a pair for my car, a pair for home, a pair for work. They are just $16.99 right now. So comfy.
    http://www.payless.com/womens-dayzy-driving-moc/76583.html?dwvar_76583_color=taupe#start=31

    I’ll put the next rec in a reply to avoid moderation.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I’ve been hating all of my drug store eyeliners lately. I was recently at my parents’ house and my mom had her Avon catalog on the table. She has had the same Avon lady for 20+ years which is really cute. I found the eyeliner that I loved in high school and college and decided to order some. I LOVE it. The only downside is it is very much waterproof so it is a bit difficult to wash off. It stays in place all day though, doesn’t smudge or run. It is self sharpening and just the right consistency. I hate hard eye liners that I have to push down on or overly soft ones that crumble when you use them. These are on sale for $3.49.
      https://www.avon.com/product/47399/always-on-point-eyeliner

      • Anonymous

        Do you know how well it stays in place on the waterline? I love my Physicians Formula but I have to buy in sets of 3 different colors and only 1 works for me. Looking for a cheaper replacement.

    • Diana Barry

      Dude! I just bought those “Karmen” pumps from Payless that everyone was talking about a while back. I have a wide foot and they fit SO MUCH BETTER than the $150 shoes I was trying. For $15!! I was psyched. Will also try those flats! :)

      • Blonde Lawyer

        LOL I bought those too. I was at Lens Crafters waiting for 1 hour lenses in a little strip mall. I decided to kill some time in Payless and came out with 4 pairs of shoes and I’m ordering more online tonight!

          • Wanderlust

            Here too! Based on the Hive’s recommendation, I bought a pair in black patent leather and wore them to a wedding last weekend. They were comfortable for several hours!

      • anon

        These look great. How comfortable are they? I’m just now getting used to being able to wear heels all day and I’d rather start with a $15 pair of shoes than paying 10x as much…

        • lawsuited

          They are comfortable, but they are synthetic so only last a season or two before they have to be thrown out.

      • Anon

        Yes! I love my Karmen pumps! I have a bunch of pairs of more expensive shoes that I hardly ever wear anymore.

      • Rarara

        Those Karmen pumps are incredible! So cheap, and the most comfortable heels I’ve ever worn.

      • Anonymous

        Yup! As a wide foot person, I buy the Claire flats in bulk. Every seasons they have an exciting new color/pattern or two as well. As a non-heel person, the wedges are pretty great too.

  13. Insurance

    Can we do a poll on what everyone has for auto liability coverage? I’ve been off my parents’ insurance for a few years and just started with the 100/300 coverage that they had but a higher property damage amount ($75k) because I moved to an area where the majority of the cars are BMW/Lexus/Mercedes or the just as expensive fully loaded Tahoes, and I see quite a few Teslas/Maseratis/Bentleys too. As I pay off my student loans and actually start climbing out of my six figure negative net worth, I wonder if I need to increase the 100/300, and probably the property as well just because of the frequency of driving around $150k cars. I’ve been driving since I was 14 (former farm state kid) and have never been involved in an accident (knock on wood), but I’d rather not find out the hard way how much one can cost me. My parents are blue collar without any real assets, so I can’t really use them as a good reference point.

    Feel free to add additional details that you think are useful, but here’s a template to start:

    Injury liability: 100/300
    Property liability: 75k
    Net worth: $70k, goes up about $50k per year.

    • insurance

      I want to point out something that most of us don’t think about when choosing our car insurance. Think about how much YOU want to be insured for to protect YOURSELF if you are hit by an uninsured or underinsured driver as the numbers. That should drive the numbers you choose for Injury liability, as well as your desire to protect yourself if you hit others. Usually your uninsured/underinsured driver amounts equal your injury liability. Hope I have the terms correct…

      A close relative was hit and nearly killed by an underinsured driver and now is severely disabled and can’t work for the rest of his life. He was hit in NY. Many states like NY have very low minimum insurance standards. It was $50k when he was hit. His personal losses due to unreimbursed medical related expenses (which can be shockingly high… who pays for your new wheelchair accessible home/car if you are now wheelchair bound) are already several hundreds of thousands of dollars, and when you include loss wages, will be millions over his lifetime. Sometimes there is no one to sue for this.

      Insure for the highest amount you can afford. And read the fine print on your policies. For example, many plans will reduce the amount they will pay to you if you receive some settlement from the person who hit you. That was shocking to me, and unexpected.

      Umbrella insurance is also important for some who have high net worth, and read the fine print to see if this may provide a supplement pay out to you for instances like I describe.

      • Anonymous

        Oh, I’m insured to the gills on underinsured/uninsured…I live in a state with 30% uninsured drivers, so I just assume that every other driver on the road has nothing.

          • Insurance

            No kidding. I consider 100/300 the minimum. My post is about liability coverage and the numbers above reflect that.

    • lucy stone

      I like this subject. I think we’re overinsured, but we’re two lawyers in a blue collar area and I feel like if we were to get in an accident, some of our fellow sharks will litigate. Auto insurance also was not mandatory in our state until a few years ago.

      Injury liablity: $1Mpp/$1M occurrence
      Property liability: $100k/occurrence
      Medical payments: $10,000
      UM/UIM: $1Mpp/$1M occurrence

      We also have a million dollar umbrella policy.

      • Anonymous

        WHAT?! Which state do you live in? I am hoping that it is not mine and not the one next door I drive through sometimes.

        I always assume that the person who hits me is also someone who stole the car or that the car is abandoned (my parents junked a car and then somehow it was in an accident and they got called about it).

        • lucy stone

          Wisconsin. Auto insurance wasn’t mandatory until 2009. The limits we require are really low, and it’s not checked upon registration. Awesome.

        • Anonymous

          Even in my state where it’s required and checked at registration, the minimum is so low that it would rarely be enough, and it’s only checked that one instant. Many drivers here purchase a policy for one day to get their registration through and then cancel it and get a prorated refund for all but one day of the term. And of course there’s also the option of just not registering their vehicle at all, which more than a few do. Lastly, there are so many sketchy insurance companies catering to the “I’m just satisfying the law and don’t give a hoot about anyone I might hit” crowd, and you know that if you get hit by one of their drivers, you know you will never see a time. I’m curious if there’s anyone here from Michigan who can comment on their no-fault rules–seems like it would be a lot more efficient to have to insure just for damage to you, than have to insure both for damage you cause and damage others cause to you because so many people will be irresponsible and go uninsured. Is that how it actually works though?

          • Digby

            Michigan resident here. You can be sued in MI if you cause an accident that seriously injures, disfigures, or kills someone. The basic insurance provides laughably low coverage for these events, so you need to buy additional coverage to protect yourself. In this sense, no-fault is kind of a joke.

    • Anon

      I find it interesting that you are focused on the property damage liability rather than the bodily injury liability. It’s the BI that can really hurt you financially. Imagine injuring someone in an accident to the extent they will need life care. That is millions of dollars, easily. In personal auto cases, they will look to your assets beyond policy limits.

      My personal coverage is a primary auto policy with 250/500 limits, and then a personal umbrella that attaches above my personal auto and homeowners policies. My limit is $2mm for the umbrella. I should probably increase it.

      I like the umbrella because it covers more items than the personal auto policy alone. I have mine through RLI (no affiliation) because that is the umbrella company my primary insurer referred me to. I haven’t had a claim so I can’t attest to their service in that regard, but application, billing, etc were all fairly painless.

      • Anonymous

        I wouldn’t say I’m more focused on the property damage, but it probably sounds like that because (a) it’s more quantifiable, and (b) historically and still, there are no assets above my policy limits so I hadn’t yet had to worry about the astronomical bodily injury costs. That’s what I’m focusing on now as my assets grow, and bumping the property coverage is more of just an aside.

        • Insurance

          That was me–not sure why my name got deleted. I’m glad you and the others brought up umbrella policies, because I often hear people talk about it rather than just increasing the auto limits, but it was always in the context of it being bundled with their homeowners policy. It doesn’t sound like that has to be the case from your post though, so I should look into it.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Medpay is really important too and most people don’t understand why if they have health insurance. If someone hits you and your health insurance pays, you usually have to pay them back out of your settlement. If you have medpay on your car policy, you can use that money for your medical expenses instead of your health insurance and that does not need to be paid back (in my state). You can also use medpay to cover copays and deductibles or things not covered by your health insurance like home nursing care or accupuncture.

      When addressing your risk, keep in mind what is exempt from garnishment in your state. Often retirement accounts can’t be grabbed and your primary residence likely has a homestead exemption. Often the only thing an opposing party can get is the money in your bank account and unless it is over $50k, most lawyers won’t even bother since the contingent fee they get won’t be worth the time spent chasing it.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        To be clear, in my last paragraph I’m referring to the injured party’s attorney. If the injured party had uninsurance, their insurance carrier may very well chase you for reimbursement under what is known as subrogation. However, in order to use under insurance, they often have to settle for “policy limits” with the liable party and that includes waiving any claim against the actual insured. This is all very state specific of course.

  14. Another negotiation question

    I have an opportunity for an immediate job change (1) and am also interviewing with another employer with notoriously slow hiring process (2). I’ve done one interview with them and there will be at least one more + background check. I strongly prefer Employer 2, though Job 1 would pay more.
    I need to notify the Job 1 people of my decision fairly soon, and I don’t know yet whether I have progressed to the next round with Job 2. I want to email the Job 2 hiring manager asking whether I am still being considered, but am really uncomfortable doing it. Don’t want to pi$$ them off by putting pressure on them, don’t want to appear insecure by asking “are you still considering me?”, and just don’t want to jinx it.
    Can *rettes who have been in this situation provide any ideas and advice?

    • Anonymous

      Call and say “I have another offer on the table. I need to know by xyz date.” Unless you’re prepared to lose job 1 and not get job 2, you need to let them know your timeline.

  15. Trenchcoat Question

    Macys is having a 50% off select coats sale and I see so many great options but several dont have hoods. Is it a waste of money to not get a hooded trenchcoat – from the looks of it they are at least waterproof (I hope/think – I have to look at the details of the fabrics). There are some great designers – (that also have petite sizes!!) and I am trying to build a wardrobe with better quality pieces and not break the bank. So I really want to hop on this sale.

  16. Express - Editor v. Columnist?

    I got an email about the Editor and Columnist pants from Express today and am considering taking a chance on them after the good press I’ve read in the comments. Can anyone comment on the differences between the two? And fit? I’m a 6/8 in most pants (used to be 8 in j.crew, now a 6 with vanity sizing; a 6 in halogen generally). Do they run small since its a store geared younger generally?

    • Two Cents

      The Editor is best if you are hourglass/pear. The Columnist is more if you are straight up and down. I love my Editor pants! And I will never buy anything else from Express, but these pants are great for work. Surprisingly they don’t run small. I have found them TTS.

  17. PEN

    Hair dye help? I am mid thirties and a brunette–naturally dark brown but not black. I have had about 20% grey on the top of my head for the past 10 years or so. For the past couple of years, I have been going to an Aveda salon and dying my hair with an attempt to match my natural hair color and cover the grey. I noticed the past few times that the grey isnt really getting covered. I decided to do an at home dye last week (using John Frieda precision foam–which promises 100% grey coverage) and have the same issue as the professional dye.

    Is there a professional brand I should be asking my stylist to use that is most effective but will still look natural and avoid a flat, colored look? Can I save a few bucks and do this at home effectively with any drugstore brands?
    Thanks!!

    • anon

      My hair is/was naturally dark brown but is now around 75% gray. I am in my 30s and have been coloring it since I was 19. I currently have my stylist color it one shade lighter than my natural color using INOA brand color, which seems to cover the grays best and has the added benefit of being gentler on hair than ammonia-based color. The slightly lighter shade helps the gray roots to blend in better. I once tried going two shades lighter than my natural color, but the lighter shade didn’t fit with my overall coloring and made me look washed out and tired. To avoid the “flat, colored look,” I get subtle highlights every other time I have my hair colored. When I don’t get highlights, the stylist touches up the roots with the base color and pulls some strands through to combat fading. I see my stylist every 5 weeks. If I have a big meeting at week 3 or 4 and roots are beginning to show, I will use a Clairol root touch-up kit from the drugstore.

      When my hair is 100% gray and it feels age-appropriate, I am planning to chop it all off and embrace the gray a la Jamie Lee Curtis. I am not feeling it yet on the age-appropriateness, though. Maybe when my kid is in college.

    • CountC

      I have been dying my hair for 20 years now, but I do not have gray, so take my advice with that in mind. Gray hair is always going to absorb the color differently than non-gray hair. I believe, to get an even application, you will need to saturate the gray hair with an initial color and then layer the end color over that. As long as you are trying to go darker, you could have success with this at home. I would give it a day or so in between applications though. If you aren’t experienced at home color, I would probably stick with the salon.

      Have you expressed to your colorist your concerns? Are you going to a salon that specializes in color? That may be your first step, to work with your colorist in more detail or to find a salon (via personal recommendations) that has a colorist who is well versed in covering gray.

    • Going Gray

      So, I have found that it is not possible to get non-flat color with a single process. I’ve done it on my own at home, and I’ve been to “the best colorist” in the city.
      It still looks like flat color, except possibly where the gray is showing through as a slightly lighter shade. Plus, it damages my hair a bit. When my hair is shorter this doesn’t really matter, but now that I am wearing it longer the ends look a bit fried.

      So, for ME, I decided to stop coloring in the spring, since I am sick of going every 6-8 weeks and spending a couple of hours (which would be more if I added highlights or lowlights to the process). I am lucky in that I am not THAT gray yet (although I started at 15, in a couple of streaks), so it’s not looking extremely “skunk-like” coming in.

      And, there are days when I hate it but I think I am going to like it a lot. The color is suiting me better than the dye (although he tried to match it to my natural brown color, the dye is brassier).

      I had a lunch with a lawyer friend who is 49 yesterday, and she stopped dying her hair a couple of years ago. It looks BEAUTIFUL. Seriously shiny and healthy, cut in a youthful style. She looks SO MUCH BETTER than when she used to dye her hair the same shade I have (until recently) been dying my hair. And she does not look any older, in fact, I think it brightens her face.

      Just my two cents, but I am glad to have not headed to the colorist for 5 months now. I am kind of excited to see what my actual hair looks like. I’m going to get a few inches of fried ends cut off too.

    • Anon 2

      I’m in my 30’s and my natural hair is 99% grey (thanks to crappy genetics and an undiagnosed thyroid issue). All I can tell you is that you will need to search for a top notch colorist. It took me a decade to find one who could cover my grey hair effectively. I tried many colorists who swore up and down it would be no problem, and they all failed to get coverage any better than what I could get at home with a box color. Hair color can be left on much longer than the recommended times on the box, but you really need to find someone highly experienced who knows exactly how long to leave it on for. While I still color my hair brown, I’ve had to go many shades lighter in the last few years to get good coverage (well and so it doesn’t look like I’m a skunk when it grows out). You may not be able to stay the same brown. But, again, a good colorist will know when it’s time to take the shade down and will be able to determine what shade will compliment your skin the best.

      I guess I would just encourage you to keep looking if your regularly colorist isn’t doing a good job.

    • MJ

      Have recently gone through this myself. You need to find permanent color (not demi or semi) and you need to find a good brand. I also had to move away from salon coloring because they stuff they were using (Kevin Murphy from Australia) was just not strong enough.

      I actually have about the same color as you (a bit more auburn) and the John Freida, while great to use because of the mousse, did not last very long on me…about three weeks. I liked the ease of application but not the result. I would use the Preference or Excellence Mousse (it’s harder to find, defnitely by L’Oreal, and I can’t remember if it’s Pref or Ex.), and it tends to cover a bit longer. I would say that as I have gotten grayer, the gray has gotten more stubborn. It just is not ideal.

  18. Runner 5

    I asked about the Lands End Squall and Softshell jackets last week – I ended up going to TK Maxx (our version of TJ Maxx) and getting a lovely mid-thigh softshell waterproof by Michael Michael Kors! It was more expensive than I would usually pay for anything but when it comes to coats you do have to pay for quality, I think (£80)

  19. Notinlaw

    Has there been a recent update to the dressy t-shirt roundup? Alternatively, I’m looking for some suggestions for washable scoop or v-neck t-shirts that I can wear under jackets and blazers.

    I used to buy Lands End t-shirts before the quality deteriorated. More recently, I bought a lot of t-shirts from Eddie Bauer but I don’t like how the slub weave that they currently sell looks with dress pants, jackets, etc.

    Thanks!

  20. Royal tea?

    Thank you to everyone for suggestions earlier in the week on what to wear to meeting at which Prince Philip will preside!

    I’ve ordered some black heels from the sale highlighted yesterday.

    I’ve resigned myself to wearing a suit, as the men most likely will be wearing. (For context, I did not even wear a suit for my current job interview!). So the question: I have one seven-year-old grey wool skirt suit. The skirt hits at the top of the knee cap – too short?

    I began looking for the sheath/ blazer combo that some commenters recommended. No luck yet at N*rdstrom, Ann T*ylor, or J Cr*w. I’d love to find a sheath dress in a somewhat interesting color like med. blue or garnet (or does it have to be black/ grey/ navy for this kind of affair?), with a jacket that has some interesting details. I think I’d get more future wear out of these items if they were not totally plain and somber. Looking for size 8, strong preference for natural fibers (wool + spandex is fine), willing to pay up to $400 per piece for things that will wear well. Any suggestions?

    • Anon

      The most recent Talbots catalog had a nice sheath dress and jacket in interesting colors.

  21. Royal tea?

    Many thanks for the suggestions earlier in the week of what to wear at a meeting presided over by Prince Philip.

    I have ordered a pair of black heels, and resigned myself to wearing a suit. Now the question is wear to find the sheath/ blazer combo that some suggested. Looking for size 8, strongly prefer natural fibers, willing to pay up to $400/ piece for something well made. Any suggestions?

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