Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Mongolian Cashmere V-Neck Sweater

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A woman in a blue cashmere sweater and black pants (legs cropped out)

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

These cashmere sweaters from Quince get fantastic reviews, which is particularly impressive given the extremely reasonable prices. Quince looks like another one of those “cut out the middlemen” brands that purports to bring products directly from the manufacturers, saving money on overhead and other costs.

I haven’t tried the cashmere yet, but I’ve had great luck with their silk apparel, so this V-neck sweater is next on my list. It comes in 12 colors, from brights like magenta and daffodil to neutrals like oatmeal, navy, and black.

The sweater is $50 (marked down from $120) and comes in sizes XS–XL.

Two options in plus sizes are this Charter Club cashmere/wool sweater ($29.80 on sale, 1X–3X) and this 100% cashmere sweater from Mango ($115.99 on sale, 1XL–4XL).

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Sales of note for 2/7/25:

  • Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
  • Boden – 15% off new season styles
  • Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
  • J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+

Sales of note for 2/7/25:

  • Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
  • Boden – 15% off new season styles
  • Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
  • J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

240 Comments

  1. Hi. I promise I am not a shill for either of these, but I wanted to let you all know of two brands of clothing I have recently purchased. I won’t provide links so won’t get stuck in mod, but easily able to find.

    Addison Bay – I saw a woman in an outfit that looked cute and asked her where she got it. Turns out her daughter ran the company! Athletic-type wear.

    Helen Jon – I went to a local trunk show and found the pieces cute – mostly swimwear and more beachy looks.

    I’m always looking for something beyond the typical so thought I’d pass on.

  2. I am depressed. My therapist wants me to go on medication, but I’ve had bad experiences with medication in the past. I tried lexapro first and hated the way it made me feel, so they switched me to prozac. That helped my depression but I felt a bit numb, gained 30 pounds and had no sex drive. So they added wellbutrin and then I had a seizure. I was fed up at that point and went off everything and was able to manage my depression with LOTS of lifestyle things, but now several years later it’s not cutting it anymore. I know I need help but my past experience trying meds was so miserable. I’m feeling pretty down and would love to hear some positive stories if it took you several tries to find the right meds.

    1. That sounds really difficult and scary, and I understand your reluctance. Someone was mentioning a few weeks back about testing you can have done which will give some indicator to your likely response to antidepressants. Perhaps this would be helpful?

      1. +1 – hard and scary. I started on med 1 (and didn’t like it and wanted to stop meds). My doc switched me to med 2 and it was amazing. This was before any kind of genetic testing for what might or might not work, but a family member had responded well to med 2 and my doctor said these things often run in families (which was I suppose the precursor to the testing that’s available today). Good luck!

    2. Have you had testing to rule out depression-causing ailments? I ask because I similarly struggled with multiple antidepressants making me feel terrible. I was then diagnosed with several other things (one shrink said bipolar, a second said BDP, a third went back to depression) and they all turned out to be wrong. The real issue was severe hypothyroid, vitamin D deficiency, and celiac (causing poor nutrient absorption). Once I got those things under control, the brain fog, extreme fatigue, mood dysfunction, and anger went away.

      (I’m not saying you aren’t depressed, just asking if they’ve ruled out all possible reasons.)

      1. This was my experience. My hypothyroidism was being undertreated, my vitamin D was tanked, and I had poor nutrient absorption (in my case from PA/atrophic gastritis). Now I’m on thyroid meds, vitamin D supplements, and B12 injections, and haven’t had neuropsychiatric symptoms since.

        I had such a bad time with SSRIs that I wish my doctors had looked into this first. It makes sense in retrospect since SSRIs can’t do anything for thyroid issues or autoimmune GI issues or deficiencies.

        1. +1 to starting with your PCP to make sure there isn’t another underlying condition. Untreated pain plus low levels of Vitamin D really sapped my energy and crushed my mood.

    3. I’m sorry! Obviously all bodies are different, but the consensus among my lady friends is that the best antidepressant we have all ever been on is Pristiq. Perhaps ask your doc about that as an option? Prozac was fine for me. Effexor made me very sick. Pristiq was the holy grail. I don’t take it anymore but it was legit amazing. I still felt alert and like my best self and has emotions and a sex drive and all that.

      1. +1 to Pristiq
        I had no side effects and it’s been night and day! It was a month before I felt any difference though. Also heard it can be hard to stop, so talk to your doctor about what is the timeline of your treatment and what is her plan for weaning you off.
        For context, I’m 22 and it’s my first time taking meds for a mood disorder. I also do talk therapy weekly.

        1. +2 to Pristiq. I tried Cymbalta before and didn’t like the side effects. This was a night and day difference.

    4. I am so sorry you’ve gone through this. Two things that have really helped my wife and I:
      – seeing someone specifically for medication management. We both see the same licensed psychiatric nurse.
      – getting the Genesight test – this will look at potential genetic interactions your genes will have with certain meds.
      I hope you start feeling better soon.

    5. Is Lexapro different than Celexa/ Citalopram? That’s the standard starting med for a lot of doctors and worked wonders for me and my sister.

      1. Also, this is so hard and good for you for asking. Depression stinks, and it’s hard to muster the energy to even think about changing things up.

      2. I believe Lexapro is the active part of Celexa (so it’s basically a refinement where they whittled it down to just the part they think works). So they should be pretty similar… in theory.

    6. I’m really sorry you’re struggling with depression and that you’ve had a rough time with medication. Some thoughts (several of which will overlap with other commenters, apologies for any redundancy):
      1) I have tried many, many different antidepressants at different points in my life, sometimes for different conditions (depression or OCD) and sometimes I’ve tried the same medication years later. Even among the SSRIs, they all have such different effects that it’s really worth trying them until you find the one that works for you. I agree with others that you should get a dedicated psychiatrist, who will have a lot more experience with the specifics of each drug and how they tend to affect patients.
      2) Why does every doctor start with Lexapro?? This is not useful, just a random gripe. I have talked to so many people who were given Lexapro first, and not a single person for whom Lexapro was a good fit (and not only that, basically everyone I’ve talked to hated it).
      3) Definitely get a complete blood panel. Like several other commenters, it turned out I had a bad vitamin D deficiency. And any number of other things could be effecting you physically. Fixing my vitamin deficiency hasn’t magically cured all my mental health problems, but I think it has been helping with some of the more malaise-y / lack of energy effects of depression.

      Anyway, those are just some random thoughts. Keep fighting the good fight, and hopefully you will find something that helps soon!

      1. I was on Lexapro first too. Didn’t do anything. I wonder why it’s used first?

        I’m on Wellbutrin and it’s been marvelous.

        OP, someone up thread said to check for other issues. I too was very deficient in Vitamin D and it was caused by celiac, which kept my body from absorbing all kinds of necessary nutrients. A full evaluation might help in addition to whatever med you could use.

    7. Cymbalta has worked for me for quite a while. Lexapro was awful and so was effexor.

    8. Vitamin D testing is important because it is so easy to be deficient. I live in a sunny, Southwest, high-altitude place, where I regularly get outside without sunscreen. Even so, I was deficient on a recent test. If you think you are getting enough Vitamin D, you probably still are not getting enough Vitamin D.

      1. Live scenes from my lecture on parliament: “So, it’s all very dignified, you can bark like a dog but NO clapping!”

    1. “Eton, it’s a kind of Hogwarts for wankers” is now going to be my go-to description.

    2. I thought that was super funny! While I’m sure I’d dislike the British royal family if I was actually British as opposed to “random white American of semi-English but probably more German and Scots-Irish extraction,” I felt so sad for Queen Elizabeth (that picture at the funeral! omg) and wow, hope they can get get a new PM stat.

  3. A recent discussion got me thinking about replacing my pleather tote with a nice shoulder bag that will last a few years. Can anyone speak to the long term quality of J Crew bags? I’m looking at the Edie bag on Poshmark if it makes a difference. It was probably manufactured 5-10 years ago. Thanks!

      1. I don’t know about that. I have sold several bags over the years that I maybe carried once or twice. If leather and not really used, there shouldn’t be an issue.

    1. Hi, Shelle–I have a J.Crew bag that I used in law school. It was pretty good, tho I wore it out throwing in both my makeup, notes and law books. It held up pretty well until I forgot about a tuna sandwich until the next day. I could not get that fishy smell out of it, so I gave it away to Goodwill. So, you should be OK with J.Crew unless you leave a sandwich in there overnite. FOOEY!

    2. I really liked J.Crew bags in the 2010 time frame. Nice leather. Well made. Reasonably understated. I haven’t bought any recently because they trended toward smaller, more trendy bags which aren’t my style.

    3. I have a J.Crew leather tote bag from Poshmark that’s that same age. Great leather. Super durable. I’ve used it every day for a year and it’s still in great shape, even the times I’ve overloaded it.

  4. I like some of the stuff on the Quince site. Does anyone have experience with them and know how their sizing runs?

    1. Hi! I own two of their Washable Stretch Silk Tanks. I ordered my usual medium, but they don’t accommodate my tummy and are a bit short as a result (and too short shirts always really bother me). I might size up if that matches you. I also gave my sister a cashmere sweater from them and she loves it. She doesn’t have the tummy I have so the medium was perfect for her.

      1. Same. I sized up abd they work but still are not perfect. The cashmere was sized similarly and fits well once I sized up. Quality is great.

    2. I tried their silk tees and they didn’t work for me – too wide in the shoulders and narrow in the hips, but I am very pear shaped, so a more athletic type body might have good luck. The fabric and construction were great quality, though – I was sorry they didn’t fit.

      1. Oh, thanks for that! I’d looked at them a while ago but am broad shouldered and narrow waisted so wasn’t sure if they’d work.

    3. Yes, I have two cashmere sweat suits, haha! I think the quality is very good for the price. Definitely better than newer/current J.Crew cashmere but much lower cost. Also quite soft! Fit seems true to size for me. Do I have better quality cashmere? Yes, but it is much, much, much more.

    4. I have some cashmere and silk stuff and a set of the linen sheets, and I really like it, especially for the price. It all seems to hold up well and sizing seems pretty standard (I’m an XS and not curvy and it fits well), though the dresses tend towards the shorter side. E.g. the cashmere dress fits great for going out to dinner, but is too short to wear to work, and I’m 5’5″ so not especially tall.

  5. Someone was asking earlier this week about shorter sweaters to wear with midi skirts. Quince may be a good option. I got some silk tanks from them last year, and while I love them, I’d love them more if they were an inch or two longer. I’m 5’4″, and fairly short-waisted, so I expect taller or lither ladies would find them too short. If you look at Quince reviews, there’s a theme of “too short” for their tops. Maybe that can be a feature for you?

  6. Any good offerings for sports bras with moulded cups (not the removable cookies that seem to get lumpy or bunch up)? Small/medium size, not high impact activities. My 2019 stuff with cookies is just on its last legs.

    1. It’s not a “cool” store, but Victoria’s Secret always carries sports bras with molded cups. The sports bras I’ve gotten there have been among my faves.

    2. Nike has one that is working well for me when I’m on the bustier end of my cycle. Also check out Brooks Running, they have some molded cups that I like as well.

    3. I should probably get a few new sports bras myself, but I like Nike Victory and Under Armour Infinity sports bras. (Source: 32A, I run and do Pilates)

    4. Can you get Marks & Spencer delivered to you at a reasonable price? I lose track of where in the world they have sensibly priced shipping! They have a number of sports bras fitting this requirement

  7. My comment was in mod for a while and didn’t post until later in the day so reposting. Any recommendations for restaurants in Fort Lauderdale? Preferably on the main beach boulevard or Las Olas, since we’re staying on the boulevard and won’t have a car. No budget and any type of cuisine. Would prefer if restaurant has outside seating. DH and I are going for a few nights in March. Thanks!

    1. Coconuts. Delicious seafood, good drinks, you sit on the water and watch boats on the intercostal. I am dreaming about it now.

      They have this kind of crab claws (I think they’re called Scoobies) in a butter/garlic/red pepper bath of heaven that are one of the 5 best things I’ve ever eaten.

    2. So FLL is not like… where we choose to go for amazing dining. That area is mostly hotel restaurants. (We’ve been down there twice during Covid and for a mix of price-for-quality and pandemic reasons, just ordered delivery from inland places almost every night and ate on our balcony!) Set your anticipation to “solid” and you won’t be disappointed.

      We did enjoy Sun Surf Sand – cheesy name but yummy sushi – last time we were there but I don’t remember if they offer outdoor seating; this was pre-Covid.

    3. Go to the Lobster Bar on Las Olas for upscale seafood. S3 in the Hilton on the beach has a fun atmosphere and delicious sushi. Have fun!

  8. Talk to me about air fryers. I’m vegetarian, generally eat a healthful diet, and absolutely hate to cook. I’m content to eat the same foods every day on repeat if they’re healthful and easy to prepare. Would an air fryer make life better? Is this an easy place to make roasted veggies and tofu? I’m cooking for myself and sometimes DH, no kids.

    1. No air frier, but if I hated to cook, I’d just make a vegetarian frittata at the weekend and eat it with bagged salad and baguette each day.

      1. +1 – leftovers are what you want – casseroles, soups, egg bakes, etc. I think air fryers have limited capacity so you would not get leftovers.

    2. I’m not vegetarian but I use mine all the time. I also hate cooking but it’s so easy to throw veggies in to cook. I prefer using it for cauliflower and Brussels sprouts.

    3. We got an air fryer and spouse has been making breaded tofu nuggets. I love them.

    4. Vegan here, we use our air fryer all the time for breakfast potatoes, wide variety of roasted veg, tofu, seitan, tempeh, we even make croutons/pita chips in it.

    5. A year ago we got a the ninja foodi that is an air fryer and pressure cooker in one (and 7 other things). I didn’t have either before and generally don’t love small appliances but DH really wanted one…omg we use that thing so much. It basically cooks everything better. One caveat is that for roasted veggies, it cooks less than a big sheet pan in the over cooks (just a smaller area). Enough for a meal or two, but if you’re trying to roast a big batch of veggies for the week it won’t hold all of that. Does great reheating them though.

      1. My understanding is that an air fryer is a convection oven. So, if you have an oven with a convection setting, you have an air fryer. Might be worth trying before investing in an appliance.

        1. I’d heard the same, but my smart Whirlpool just somehow added an air fryer setting in addition to convection. I need to do a comparison to see if it’s just marketing or if there’s a difference.

          1. Do you have a convection roast setting? I have one on my oven but wouldn’t be surprised if they renamed it to air fry. It really is the same thing.

      2. I have a really good standard range with convection. My daughter has an air fryer. I know everyone says they’re the same but they’re not. The air fryer is much more concentrated and faster. She uses it All The Time. She’s also vegetarian but I wouldn’t say a health food nut. Frozen faux chicken nuggs, French fries, dumplings etc.

        1. I think there is a difference between conviction bake and air fry – a convection roast is more similar. I would say that my speed oven ( a combo microwave/convection oven) is pretty close to an air fryer. It cooks fast and hot with plenty of fan.

    6. I am not a vegetarian, but mostly hate to cook. I find the air fryer to be VERY helpful. It is super easy for roasted veggies. Highly recommend.

  9. The sweater is not marked down at all. The $120 price is not an original selling price, but rather what Quince identifies as “traditional retail.” The selling price seems reasonable to low, but it is not a sale price.

  10. Any Dublin recs? I work in the north but am down to deliver a talk and am sticking around for another day or two. I’ve been as a tourist, but am looking forward to hanging out in a city for a couple of days.

    1. Assuming you’ve done it as a tourist, but if you haven’t: Kilmainham Gaol is one of the best museums/tourist attractions I’ve been to.

    2. +1 to the Gaol. I also really enjoyed the Archaeology Museum. I found the Hop On/Hop Off buses to be super convenient if you’re trying to hit a bunch of things in a day.

  11. I used to have the BR Sloans (before the curvy Sloan), then traded to a curvy machine-wash model from AT or Loft. Those pants were great, but are now too small. Is there a current good offering that is curvy-cut and machine washable? BR now makes curvy washable Sloans. Is that the current likely best option? I can wear an 8 BR Logan now, but I don’t want more wool pants, more something non=wool that I can wash.

  12. Online dating rant – y’all it is rough out there. Was going to meet up for coffee with a guy who seemed cool, but he started joking about if I got stranded at his place during our current winter weather (why would I be at his place at all), then asked if I was going to introduce him to my cat (not a euphemism, I have an actual cat, but why would he be at my place) and made a comment about kissing me. I have never met this dude, we barely chatted in the app. So I’m noping out of this date.

    Almost every guy has some generic bio about being adventurous and loving tacos. The amount of gym selfies, bathroom selfies, and car selfies – these usually shot from so far below the face I can practically see up their nose – is astonishing. Or holding dead fish. Or children that may or may not belong to them.

    1. I’m not in the dating world right now, but I have a guy friend who is. And he also describes it as being quite a scene. And yet, as much as I really do like this guy and we hang out a lot together, his life is a disaster because of some poor life choices and his kids who are failing to thrive; I would never introduce a friend to him. He’s a great guy, but wouldn’t be a great husband. And yet I wonder if he’s one of the good ones left on the sites because he is actually a great guy.

    2. Agreed.

      OTOH, anything I might right probably seems straight out of central SO casting (I, too, am adventurous and love tacos — maybe 99% of people likely say this; no one cops to “will ghost you once you start to like me a little”). But I’m so worried about people I know (local smug couples I know do this) laughing at me that many of my pictures are sort of fuzzy or shot to make a profile (so they know I’m “normal weight” as represented but it’s a big deniable if it is me).

      It is like ripping a bandaid off all the time — I don’t know how it gets better.

      1. Honestly, as a member of what I’m sure could be considered a “smug couple”, I have never ever looked at the dating app photos of anyone I know, and especially to laugh at them. Please be reassured that this is just something we don’t bother doing.

        1. +100. Happily married and it never even crossed my mind to look at dating apps to laugh at people I know. Those local smug couples who you know who are doing this are a$$h)13s and are very much the outliers. I’ve never used a dating app but do not think they are weird in the slightest, and I think those smug couples are super weird and definitely need better couple hobbies than making fun of other people.

      2. No married people troll dating apps to make fun of photos. I promise we have our own lives. As a ‘smug married’ the only time I’ve ever looked at anyone’s dating profiles if when my girlfriend’s send me screenshots of the hilariously bad ones they find.

      3. Bad pics aren’t doing you any favors! If you’re going to do it, you’re out there whether you have blurry pics or not. Put your best foot forward. I’m not sure why anyone would laugh at online dating – it’s what is done these days. Are they 80 years old? There is nothing embarrassing about trying to online date.

        Also, I found my husband online and he had a perfectly nice profile with some of the cliche things mentioned. Maybe it’s fun to go get tacos or date someone who enjoys children, especially if you want to have them some day. If I’m a dork for that so be it, but it’s worked out great for me. I felt weird when I started but then decided that if I was going to do it, I’d do it all the way. Think about people who are self-conscious, like a teenager who doesn’t stand up straight or an awkward person shuffling on the dance floor at a club because they’re too embarrassed to let loose even though they like dancing. It doesn’t feel great and it doesn’t look great either. Way more fun to go all out and dance poorly, right?

        1. Don’t knock the 80yos! My father (age 79) found his wife online (a younger women, only 75). He’s kind of embarrassed about it though.

      4. This is such nonsense. Post normal
        in focus pictures of yourself or don’t bother doing online dating.

      5. Wait, do these couples you know actually make dating app profiles just to go on there and laugh at people? That’s insane.

        Although I do come across several couples looking for a third (looking at you Bumble) so maybe they aren’t smug, just kinky.

    3. When I was online dating I developed in irrational irritation to any mention of tacos (either online or actual friends wanting to go get tacos) because so. many. guys. “love” tacos and think that this is interesting. How did liking tacos become a personality trait? It sucks. It’s hard. You have my empathy.

        1. Maybe, but what’s the point of putting that on there? Even stupider than announcing that you like the actual food. Straight dude likes *wink wink* tacos, more at 11.

      1. Men also love the office as a personality trait. And in my area, hiking and camping. Always. Every man. Tacos, The Office, hiking, camping, holding a dead fish photo.

    4. Oh my gosh. It’s definitely wild out there. I did get a profile recently featuring a photo of the man in the act of tossing a giant caber (not a euphemism) which at least made me chuckle. I was chatting about it with the guy I’ve just started seeing and he admitted that he fills his profile with stage pictures (he’s in a band) in order to attract girls who like musicians. Guilty as charged…

    5. Posting a hopeful-so-far OLD story: Met a good guy in 2015. Really liked him, but we ended up as friends because we wanted different things (he was pretty motivated to have kids and that was a turn-off since my single life was already so demanding). Nurtured the friendship as we dated different people over the years. Became closer as our own life circumstances evolved in ways that helped us appreciate what the other person was going through. Started our own COVID mini-pod where we got together at each other’s homes. Started platonically cuddling during movies.

      A couple of months ago, after one night of movies/cuddle, he asked me how I would feel if he pursued me romantically. He explained that he was trying to set boundaries and expectations for himself. I asked for a week to think about it. Decided to make the healthy choice, even if the butterflies were not necessarily there.

      He treats me with more consideration than any man I have previously dated. And the gardening is the most fulfilling of my entire life. We met on OKC, and his profile did have a gym selfie.

  13. For the posters who were curious about Abercrombie jeans – they’re 25% off right now. I really love mine and was very impressed by the size and shape range (I get a curvy, extra short inseam, mid size). They feel very high quality, I’m planning to order a few more during this sale.

  14. Do you have nice clothes and house clothes? Growing up my family had clothes for public and then at home you would change into old/ratty stuff to lounge or do housework in. My husband will go directly from church to working on the car without changing and keeps ruining stuff. He painted a wall in a brand new pair of jeans and got paint on them and is now doesn’t understand why I don’t want him to wear them to a nice restaurant. It’s driving me insane! I just want validation that I’m not crazy for expecting this.

    1. Your are not crazy, your husband is wrong here. WTF, jeans cost a fortune, you don’t pain in new ones!

    2. You are not cr@zy, your husband is wrong here. Jeans cost a fortune, you don’t paint in new ones!

    3. I don’t always change for lounging/home, but I definitely have clothes for dirty jobs like painting or cars. Getting old clothes on is just as much an essential preparation step as laying out tarps and getting paintbrushes.

      1. +1
        I’m trying to be better about wearing an apron when I’m cooking or doing the dishes, but I wouldn’t change my clothes coming home after work on an average day. But doing any kind of serious cleaning? Yes. Any home improvement projects? Yes. Doing anything else especially dirty? Yes.

        1. It’s really wasteful!

          Nice clothes are expensive. Dry cleaning is expensive and often doesn’t get out everything. Something ratty and old that has done its duty saves you ruining something expensive or at least a cleaning bill.

          If I’m frying up some hamburger meat or making chili (greasy and/or red color stains), you can bet it isn’t while I’m wearing a silk blouse or scarf. Free t-shirts with words on them FTW!

    4. You’re not wrong! You don’t wear church clothes for working on the car, sheesh. That’s insane.

      1. And btw, I still have “public clothes” and “play clothes,” and so do my kids. :)

    5. You are definitely right. Things cost money! They take water, raw materials, energy, and human labour (often in terrible conditions) to manufacture and transport.

    6. Not crazy at all.
      In fact, I might separate it into nice clothes, house clothes, AND working clothes.

      1. Completely. I have painting and gardening clothes. (Actual gardening with dirt and stuff, not lingerie.)

        1. Same. And I even turn my painting clothes inside out so I can flip them right side out if I need to run to the hardware store or something!

      2. I specifically keep around a pair of 20+ year old jeans (once worn to a greasy restaurant job), just in case I need to paint in cool weather. It’s sort of fun to pull them out and remind myself of all the colors of all the rooms I’ve painted in them, splattered on the jeans for all eternity.

        1. My former husband used to have a special “crawling under the house” outfit.

    7. I’ll offer you validation that what he is doing is not what most people do. Of course the clothing you wear to paint in or do greasy car work in is going to get paint/grease stains on it. And generally, people don’t then wear the stained items to places where they want to look good. Your husband apparently doesn’t view clothing this way.

      I’m not sure I can offer you validation for “expecting this.” Your expectations of how your husband treats clothes and dresses for occasions are quite different from what he wants to do/cares about. Maybe you can find a time when you’re not irritated/angry at him and have a simple conversation that can help the two of you uncover what you’re expecting and see if there’s a way to move his expectations and yours closer together.

    8. I have a rotating collection of hoodies and pajama pants and won’t wear anything else in the house (except oversized tshirts when it’s hot or leggings when I might step outside). I know some people tend to dress a little nicer at home, which IMO can range from a reasonable personal preference to silly and uncomfortable (had a roommate once who vacuumed in jeans, with a belt, and high heeled boots wtf) but wearing new jeans when you’re going to paint is just stupid.

      It’s weird that he wants to be overdressed for messy house chores but doesn’t mind being underdressed for restaurants. Is he just lazy about changing clothes?

    9. You aren’t crazy. My boyfriend does the same thing, and it drives me up the wall. He will go from wearing new jeans and a nice shirt at brunch to sitting and kneeling in the garden in the same clothes. He’s hard on everything he owns, and is always amazed at how long my stuff lasts.

    10. Yes! Mine’s even more subdivided: work clothes, nice casual clothes, house clothes, athletic clothes, and gardening/yardwork clothes. Sometimes the athletic and gardening clothes might might mix, but that’s it.

    11. I have many tranches of clothes:
      Formal-most work attire, stuff for my non-forthcoming prickly Senate hearing
      Approachable work attire
      Approachable nice-casual attire
      Alpha mom casual attire
      Beta mom casual attire
      Dog-walking practical clothes
      House clothes for cooking with red sauce (-> painting clothes would come from this group) and grocery shopping
      House clothes for convalescing, maternity leave, COVID boosters, etc.
      Hot clothes for meaningful dinners or parties (gathering dust now)
      Resort clothes

        1. Wondering the same! Is it just how more/less put-together or is it like “I am establishing my dominance” *alpha mom* clothes?!? If yes to the second, WHAT ARE THEY?

    12. Hell, at the moment I have nice work from home stuff and what I change into after I’m done for the day, which looks very similar but feels totally different. Both include yoga leggings but work includes the slightly less comfortable leggings.

      1. Oh my gosh – you mean I’m not the only one?!?! I have WTF ‘day’ clothes – usually Lululemon leggings and a fancy/designer sweater or something (currently wearing black Lululemon leggings and an Anine Bing sweatshirt). And then I have ‘night’ lounge clothes – VS leggings (some upwards of 6 years old), a comfy bralette, and whatever lounge-y top that I pull out of the pile haha

    13. Not crazy. I have a few pairs of jeans that are an archeological exploration of past projects in the house with all the stuff that’s spilled on them. I also grew up with my dad having a few pairs of mechanics coveralls for working on the car. You could probably get your husband some from Calhardt or an equivalent now.

    14. I have nice clothes, house clothes, and working on the car/painting a wall clothes. Normal housework can be done in house clothes. You don’t paint or work on the car in anything but grubby clothes, and you don’t wear those clothes anywhere but the hardware store or the auto parts store.

    15. My husband always laughs at me and my many “costume changes” on a daily basis, but I have a policy where I don’t wear clothes in public and then wear them on house furniture. We are recently married, but he’s slowly coming around on the concept as well. As soon as I get home from work (assuming I left the house for work that day), I change immediately from my public-facing clothes, hang them up to air out for a day before putting them back in the closet, and put on my house clothes (normally Cuyana separates or workout clothes). I then wear these until bedtime, when I put on my night clothes, like a chemise or pajama separates. As soon as I get home from a workout, I immediately put those clothes right into the clothes hamper before sitting down. Basically, as soon as an item of clothing is worn outside of the house, it can’t touch any furniture (especially upholstery or bedding) until it’s freshly-washed. We also are a no-shoes household.
      Anything that’s worn for chores is also put into the hamper right away so that it doesn’t touch cleaned furniture or a freshly made bed.

      1. I do this exact thing. My husband also found it funny at first but has come around to it.

      2. I don’t think that’s weird, especially if you’r ein a big city/using transit.

      3. I do this but not for what appear to be your deep-seated psychological reasons.

        I change out of my work clothes the minute I get home because (a) they are generally less comfortable than house clothes, (b) I want to keep them clean for work, and (c) it puts a psychological period on the end of the work day. If I’m going to take a power walk around the neighborhood I’ll put on workout clothes, otherwise it’s jeans or sweats for the evening.

      4. In the words of the great Pheobe Robinson, don’t sit on my bed in your outside clothes. Outside clothes go nowhere near my bed and I do my best to avoid them on the furniture I spend a lot of QT on like my couch.

    16. This reminds me of my neighbor who mows his lawn after church wearing dress pants and a dress shirt. Why? Even if you don’t stain the clothes, they will get all sweaty and have to go to the cleaner’s.

    17. I’ve literally never heard of a person PAINTNG in clothes they cared about. Does he have any other similarly weird habits?

    18. I have a few categories of clothing — work clothing, that comes off as soon as I get home for the day (largely to avoid getting cat hair on it); causal clothing that I wear out on the weekends, and will keep on at home; and workout clothing that I wear to workout and do messy things around the house, like panting. But if I go out to brunch on Saturday, I’m not changing as soon as I get home.

    19. You’re not crazy. He should change into ratty old stuff for messy chores.

      I feel like these are the same men who will wipe down the car with the good towels.

      1. Or mow the lawn, then flop into bed in those clothes, then be surprised when his side of the mattress has all the sweat stains.

    20. omg not crazy.

      In your situation your husband would be required to buy all his clothes from Walmart unless he learns how to get the appropriate wear out of them.

    21. My dad this for years, driving first my mom and then my stepmom nuts. He no longer does this. I think my stepmom wore him down, she likes to look put together and it’s definitely a bummer to put effort into looking nice for a dinner out and having your dinner partner think it’s cool to go out in grease-stained jeans!

      So perhaps the answer is for your husband to get a second wife who will also get on his case :-)

    22. Don’t have separate “home” clothes (I mean, my work clothes are more formal but my public facing casual clothes are also worn at home) BUT we do have separate /old/ etc work clothes for house work or yard work. Definitely am changing into old clothes for gardening or car work!!!!

    23. I have going out pajamas (the flannel pants I am willing to wear to grab dinner out in a chain restaurant or run to the store) and staying home pajamas — but that is probably not what you are talking about :)

    24. He’s in the Laurence Llewelyn Bowen category of people with regards to messy jobs, you’re not.

      I do think messy jobs like painting deserves work clothes, but I don’t thing lounging at home needs to be done in old or ratty clothes. Comfortable, sure, but I’d rather have nice, non-ratty clothes on at home as well.

      1. Agree with this. My “home” clothes are comfy but not sloppy. I spend most of my time home alone with my husband and I want to look nice.

    25. nooooo omg you’re not wrong at all. I have comfy (and rattier) house clothes, public clothes (can still be casual!), specific paint clothes (that all have paint on them…), and outdoor working clothes!!! why would you wear nice clothes to do something like painting where you DEFINITELY get them dirty!

    26. I have casual clothes that I wear both at home and doing casual things out of the house. They are not old or ratty. I have more formal clothes. And I have some clothes I don’t care about for tasks like cleaning and painting. And I learned the hard way not to wear suede shoes in the kitchen.

  15. I had a long-anticipated girls’ weekend planned for a friend’s 40th birthday later this month. The organizer canceled last night because so many people weren’t comfortable traveling anymore (some were local, some were coming from other parts of the country). I don’t blame her at all for canceling, but I’m so freaking bummed. I was really looking forward to the change in scenery and getting a chance to hang out with my friends. Just had to rant. I am so sick of the pandemic ruining everything. So many vacations and special moments have been canceled, and I’m over it.

    1. I’m so sorry, that stinks! Could you book yourself into a nice hotel for a night or two?

      1. I could, but I’ve been very lonely lately, so I don’t think that would be particularly helpful to my mental state. I am around my kids and husband constantly, but my friends are not up for hanging out now for a variety of reasons, all of which are valid and hard to argue with.

    2. Is there anyone else who was supposed to go still willing to go you could meet up with?

      1. +1. I am guessing there is at least one other friend who is sharing your same sentiment. Plan something fun with her! (In the original location or elsewhere.)

    3. That really sucks! Are you local to your friend? Could the two of you do a spa day with a nice dinner to still celebrate and so you won’t feel lonely just treating yourself?

  16. Hi wise hive! My nephew has asked me to help him deal with his face acne. He is 15. Does anyone have suggestions for OTC products to try? Or should he go straight to a derm?

      1. I wouldn’t do Curology for a teenager, since they send prescription products without the benefit of a live consult.

      1. +1 and make sure he’s not using anything super-harsh (ie, the St. Ives scrub)

    1. Do you know his current routine? That might help us recommend!
      Does he use a salicylic acid face wash? I’d start with that, somthing along the lines of Cerave or Cetaphil.
      And then either topical salisylic acid or benzoyl peroxide gel to apply directly to the acne. Neutrogena Visibly Clear rapid clear spot treatment is good. If he deals with cystic acne, I find benzoyl peroxide works better for that on my face. Any brand will do.
      And a good non-comedogenic moisturizer after all that acid! I like Neutrogena hydroboost for this, as I always feel less greasy/clogged using a gel moisturizer rather than a creamy one.
      If he already does something along the lines of the above, then the dermatologist would be a good next step.

      1. Yes, I went to a derm forever as a teen and got an array of products that would ruin towels, sheets, and clothes. None of them even worked, sadly.

    2. If it is just light occasional acne, I would help him create a super simple routine:
      cleanser with salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide (they both need to sit on a face for 1-2mins to work), followed by a moisturizer (try Cerave). I personally prefer salicylic acid lotion/toner (applied after cleansing but before moisturizer).
      If his acne is more widespread or seems more severe (lots of bumps or whiteheads), straight to derm. He will not want to go, but better one visit to a derm and getting a prescription or whatever derm recommends than a lifetime of ruined skin (with dimples and scars).

  17. Has anyone ever ordered anything from Peruvian Connection and if so, how’s the quality? I randomly got a catalog from them and like the look of some of the casual dresses, but had never heard of the company before.

    1. I was given some stuff from Peruvian Connection as a gift. The quality is pretty good, but the fit is weird and the styles look frumpy on actual people as opposed to catalog models.

    2. I’ve ordered from them from time to time for close to twenty years, and I think the quality is good, better than mall brands. The fabrics still have some heft to them and natural fibers prevail. The only decline in quality I’ve seen with them is that the clothing used to be 100% wool, silk, or cotton, and now there’s modal and viscose, usually as a blend with the more traditional fibers. If shipping and returns were free I’d order more often.

    3. Not a quality question, but I think PC is designed for tall people. In any event, it is not designed for me (short), but some of the clothing is lovely.

  18. I put in an offer on a condo and it was accepted! Not a done deal, need to get an inspection and go through all of the bank/appraisal stuff but I expect it to all go fine.

    This all happened in the last week- while also trying to manage how I’m feeling about hospice for my dad. It’s been quite the week. I decided to not put house hunting on hold for what could be a 6-month plus hospice experience- I wanted him to be able to see it (over video) if I bought something.

    1. Congratulations on the condo! I hope it all works out so smoothly. And I’m so sorry about your dad.

    2. Congratulations on the condo. I think you’re doing the right thing to keep moving forward when you can – I can only imagine it brings your dad joy to see you doing these things and building your life.

    3. Oh my gosh, that’s a lot! Congratulations and be gentle with yourself as you go throgh the process!

  19. I’m struggling to decide on a location for a 2 week vacation in June. Between Covid uncertainties and crazy high prices in some locations, I’m feeling torn. Trip would be me and DH, no kids. Anyone have any thoughts about these:
    1. Before the pandemic I was planning a solo trip to Switzerland and Austria. I could resuscitate those plans but concerned about travel restrictions. Now that DH is around we could do a more “romantic” location like Greek islands, with the bonus that we’re staying in one country.
    2. Hawaii is a bucket list destination but I’m concerned about travel restrictions and also price – a friend said their rates have been stupid high.
    3. CA wine country and redwoods. DH has never been to wine country and I’ve never been with a SO so it could be fun! Two weeks is kind of a long time for that trip but it’s a safer bet.

    1. omg go to Greece, while cruise traffic is still suppressed, the islands aren’t as bananas with day trippers and therefore more relaxed than before! They also have such a tourism-dependent economy that IMHO they are less likely to do anything trip-ruining as far as restrictions go.

      We have been traveling internationally this year, but prefer doing one-country trips so we only have to track one set of protocols.

      1. oh and also- unless you are going to museums, everything that’s interesting and fun about the Greek islands is outdoors, and it’s hard to find a restaurant WITHOUT open air seating.

    2. It depends on your childcare arrangements, but I’d have real hesitation about leaving the country without my kids right now. If you test positive on your re-entry testing you could get stuck there a couple extra weeks which could be really hard on your kids and childcare providers. DH and I went to Canada without our kid a couple months ago and although it all worked out, in hindsight I think it was a risk we probably shouldn’t have taken. I’d do Hawaii. With two weeks you can do two islands. I like Napa a lot but with two weeks I’d want to go somewhere that’s a longer flight.

      1. Sorry I can see that was unclear, we aren’t bringing kids because we don’t have any (yet) :)

        1. Ah gotcha, I read it as traveling without your kids. In that case, I would definitely go to Greece!

      2. FWIW I read the post as saying the OP and DH do not have children… but fair point, and I also agree I’d go somewhere with a harder degree of travel difficulty & time with a 2 week vacation.

        If you’re priced out of Hawaii maybe the USVI? No test to return from there.

    3. OMG 2 weeks in Greece would be fantastic! I posted yesterday about Matt Barrett’s Greece Travel Guide online and it really is worth looking at. You could probably find lots of sample itineraries online and he has really good hotel recommendations for all over. June would be lovely there!!!

    4. DH and I had the best time in Greece. We did something like two nights in Athens, 4 nights in Chania, Crete and I think 5 nights in Santorini.

  20. Has anyone dealt with persistent jaw pain/TMJ? Not looking for medical advice but I’m not sure how to find someone who can give decent treatment who isn’t a quack. I’ve always had jaw issues but I’ve had dental work/teeth shifting in the past few years that’s made the pain really pronounced. My dentist says I need to find an MD who can help with jaw alignment. My medical insurance does not cover things relating to TMJ because they say it’s dental. Dental doesn’t cover jaw issues, only teeth, because they say medical should cover it. I’m so frustrated and tired of taking painkillers every day. In the meantime I’m going to look for a massage therapist who can help too, but I’d be interested in hearing stories from anyone who’s been down this path before. (Or in DC/NoVA, specific recs!)

    1. So much sympathy on getting bounced between specialties. Is your pain confined to the joint or is it broader jaw pain that might have a muscular component? If the issue is mostly pain rather than the joint alignment, you might have luck with a physical therapist who can teach muscle relaxation and some self massage techniques to help with the pain (you can also probably find some online if you google). If you call this jaw and neck pain instead of TMJ, I doubt you’ll have any issues getting your insurance to cover it. My experience with PT has been mixed, but the good ones have been really helpful. I don’t think I have TMJ, but I do have bad head and neck pain that sometimes causes jaw issues as well, and I wear a night guard, which definitely helps a lot.

    2. I’d go to a chiropractor- people have strong opinions here, but I’ve found mine to be a miracle worker for all things pain related.

    3. Hey, I’ve had TMJ for 20+ years at this point. Almost everything doctors and dentists provide only treats the symptoms (e.g. a nightguard you get from the dentist is to protect your teeth, not to cure you from TMJ).

      One of the most helpful things I’ve found is the book “The TMJ Healing Plan” by Cynthia Peterson. The author is a physical therapist and she talks a lot about how the jaw works and how TMJ is a posture/ergonomic problem. There are lots of exercises paired with helpful pictures, to help you understand how to change your posture and ergonomics to help ease your pain and actual treat the root of the problem.

    4. I hate that insurance limbo. I’d look for a dentist that can help you with a treatment plan. Even if it’s not covered, the risk of not treating TMJ can cause cascading issues in your teeth/jaw that would be way more expensive. I recently was able to use my HSA for Botox, and that plus a nightguard has been really helpful.

    5. Perhaps try to get a referral from a different dentist? I am currently seeing an Oral Pathologist who specializes TMD/J and Orofacial Pain, I actually had to look at his website to see his credentials. I was referred by my dentist, and most is covered by my insurance. Like the other poster, anxious clenching led to a night guard, Botox and a course of an arthritis medication for the joint concerns.

    6. Massage did help me. You want to look for someone who does “intraoral massage.” I used to have an amazing one until I moved and haven’t found a therapist who can do this in my new location yet :( Other thing that I think is helping is that I got my teeth straightened with Invisalign to have a better bite. Jury’s still out a bit on that one, but I’m hoping it’ll be better in the long term.

    7. Also have TMJ for the last twenty years or so, managed with a mouth guard, but struggled during the pandemic. I saw Dr. Delaney at Ingber Dental, downtown in foggy bottom. She was great, and also consulted with Dr. Ingber (she takes insurance, I don’t think he does), who has a lot of experience with TMJ. I got a new mouth guard and some practical suggestions for heating and other exercises, as well as comisseration about the state of the world and how these issues were normal. This was mostly covered by my dental insurance but I did still have some out of pocket costs. Much better than the endo I saw who told me I should “give it up to God” and then was like, ok I’ll just give you some space to cry, that must be what you need right now. HARD NO.

    8. I started having TMJ problems this fall, and they did not progress to the level you’re talking about so take this with a grain of salt. My dentist’s first question was whether my stress levels had increased (yes). She said stress can cause TMJ or make it worse. Additionally, she told me to stop opening my mouth so far when I take bites of food and floss and told me to start wearing my retainers at night or add a mouth guard. Finally, I talked to my massage therapist about the TMJ and she has been doing jaw massage when I see her and I’ve been doing jaw massage when I’m at home.
      So between working on reducing stress, not opening my mouth as far, adding my retainers, and jaw massage, the TMJ problems have stopped. However, when I hit a huge stressor a couple of weeks ago (car accident), my jaw started popping within a couple of hours.

    9. When I lived in DC and ran marathons, I got regular deep tissue massages from Ginger Lowe; she was absolutely excellent. She subsequently became a chiro as well and opened her own practice. If I were in your position, I would call her and see if she could help. Her website is drgingerlowe dot com

    10. If your dentist recommended an MD to look at the alignment of your jaw, that would probably be an oral surgeon. If there is something wrong with the alignment of your jaw then you don’t just have TMJ, there is likely another diagnosis at play that the oral surgeon might be able to fix. I would see exactly who your dentist recommends you see. You don’t have to undergo whatever treatment they offer, but it sounds like there is more going on than just TMJ.

      1. …And if it is more than just TMJ, hopefully medical insurance will cover it.

  21. I’m not sure where I got this bee in my bonnet, but I am looking into a home waxing setup. (Legs only, not bikini line/face/etc. I know my limits.) I want something more pro-quality than Sally Hansen strips or even the Bliss kit I’ve seen at Target — but beyond that, there are so many choices that I’m stumped. I think I’m leaning toward hard wax, just because it’s slightly less painful and requires fewer supplies, but I’m not wed to it. Any recommendations/insights?

    1. I waxed my legs myself for years. My setup was Parissa warm wax or a sugar wax that I would heat in the microwave, then I’d get a coffee cup warmer and stick the jar on that to keep it hot. I used wide popsicle sticks to spread the wax and bought muslin strips in bulk. You want to make sure you have plenty of supplies so that you’re not concerned about running out.

      I’d spread out newspaper or wax paper on my kitchen floor and go to town, and then at the end scoop up the paper and toss it. Then azulene oil to get any missed wax off my legs. I used to wash the muslin strips sometimes in the washing machine and reuse – it actually works if you feel wasteful. Muslin strips were essential for me. I had at one point my mom’s old waxing setup that would warm the wax, but the coffee cup warmer was easier and less bulky.

      1. +1 to Parissa – I have really thick hair and this is the only drugstore brand that works for me.

    2. I’d just go to a good nail salon and get it done professionally. Doesn’t seem worth it to invest in the gear and try to do something best left to others.

    3. Not quite what you’re after, but I’ll plug the sally hansen naturals- they’re the only waxing product i’ve found that I’m not allergic to. Bonus- they work really well.

    4. If you already wax you might like an epilator. I have used one exclusively for years (for all hair, everywhere) and it is cheap, Enviro friendly, not messy and requires no set up etc.

      1. My recommendation would be to go get professionally waxed after letting everything grow out so you’re nice and smooth, and then do your regular maintenance going forward with the epilator. Soooooo much better than waiting 4-6 weeks to be able to wax. The epilator can grab shorter hairs, and I usually just epilate once a week for 10-15 min. Bam. Done.

        1. Do y’all have a rec for a fav epilator? I always forget they exist but as I’m aging my upper lip is getting a little…yikes. I usually get it waxed when I get my eyebrows done, but it’s started growing in faster than my generally easy-to-maintain brows.

  22. How do you find an interior decorator who will work by the hour? I’m not in the market for a lot of new furniture. I mainly need help with finishing touches; styling shelves, bookcases, tabletops, etc – some advice on lamps and in one room, window treatments. Maybe will need more help down the line on selecting a rug for a room. I’m just stuck; this is not big enough for those working at interior design firms and I’m not making purchases from the stores that offer interior design services. If you have ideas on how to find these sorts, I’d love to hear. I’m in the Twin Cities area if that helps.

    1. Consider looking into real estate stagers. They’re good at freshening up what’s there and bringing in a few things. If you find one whose style you like, even if they don’t mention it on their website, I’m sure they’d consider a project like this (money is money!).

    2. Following because I’m also in the Twin Cities and have the same question! I’ve tried using Havenly but did not have great luck.

    3. It’s been a minute, but when I last shopped at Ethan Allen ~5 years ago, they offer interior decorating services for “free” and they have lovely options for window treatments. I wouldn’t be surprised if their designers would do some work on the side for you if you click.

    4. I have found a couple of people in my area (Midwest college town) advertising “mini-makeovers” on Facebook. Mostly they aren’t certified interior decorators, but regular people who have a good eye for decorating, staging, and adding finishing touches. If the big pieces are in place and you’re not looking for an overhaul, I don’t think this is a bad way to go.

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