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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 118 Comments · by

Coffee Break: ‘The Urbanista’ Headband

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Mrs President & Co 'The Urbanista' Headband | CorporetteHere's a serious question: are headbands ever appropriate for the office? I am normally in the “no” camp (at least for most women) but this two tone gold number has me questioning that. I like the thin, spindly nature of this one, which looks both delicate and comfortable. It's (!) $70 at Nordstrom. Mrs President & Co ‘The Urbanista' Headband Here is a lower-priced version (also here and here). (L-4)

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Comments

  1. Anon

    I vote no.

    Headbands make the wearer look a) young, b) whimsical, or c) dowdy. Not good for workwear.

    • TO Lawyer

      Headbands will always remind me of Blair Waldorf so sadly that makes me vote no.

    • Wildkitten

      When I was 22 and both young and whimsical I loved them. I thought they made me look more purposeful than haphazard when I pulled my hair back. Now, not so much.

    • Not a Lawyer

      I think it would look lovely on a stylish intern. But not on anyone who is trying to project any kind of authority.

      • Artemis

        I don’t see it as Kat being out of touch with “workwear”, I see it as her opening up her posts past just the ultra-conservative, ultra-high-end, ultra-formal Northeast law/business environment. While women in those kinds of jobs were her original audience, this site has grown in many ways since then.

        If you want to be Sheryl Sandberg, don’t wear a headband, I guess. But if you want to do a great job in a comfortable business-casual office while maintaining a professional appearance with a little bit of appropriate personality, what the heck is wrong with a headband?

        • Must be Tuesday

          I think it’s great to have a more open viewpoint about what is work appropriate in various different environments, but in terms of featured work clothes, I’d much rather see items that are work appropriate in practically any office rather than items that are only appropriate in certain more casual or creative environments. Mainly because practically every fashion blogger in the world (I’m exaggerating, but only slightly) feature looks and items in the latter category. More formal and/or conservative items are harder to find, both while shopping and while browsing for inspirational work wear looks on the internet.

          • E

            +1000, open up any fashion magazine to see what cheeky 3/4 sleeved blazer-over-jeans combo (day to night!) to see what they’re hocking as “casual and creative” workwear

          • waffles

            +1
            Ultra conservative, high-end workwear is the only reason I read this blog (and the comments, of course!)

          • AIMS

            I think this is a know-you kind of thing. Head bands can look off in a variety of ways on some, maybe many, but i have a friend who wears them to tone down her otherwise more flamboyant look with great success. In fact, she wore a head band for a bunch of interviews at a number of very fancy firms and got offers from all. Not everyone can figure out what works for them, but it definitely works for my friend.

            I wasn’t a fan of this morning’s dress for work, but I don’t think an open ended question of ‘does this work for the office’ mean that Kat is out of touch. THIS is the kind of conversation I think it’s helpful to have, actually.

      • Anon

        Before you hate, check out the line that’s making the headband – lots of modern, non-fussy clips for putting hair up at work.

      • anon2

        I would agree that this is not appropriate at conservative offices, but at my non-profit where anything remotely business casual it fine, its a perfect step up from plastic headbands. That being said, I would not wear a headband as a young employee attempting to exude power and knowledge.

    • platinomad

      I work in consulting in a pretty conservative industry (I wear suits/suiting separates most days), but I think this would be acceptable/unnoticed at my job. I even think something like this would really lighten up some of my more “serious” outfits. Most of the things I find unacceptable for work come down to them being too provocatively cut or too casual fabrics. Even this mornings dress would likely be alright with a structured blazer on someone established (this does matter a lot at job, the better your reputation the more people look positively at creative work style choices). Honestly, while we are pretty suit-y at my job, I’m trying to cut women a break as long as I can’t see their upper leg, breasts, or they aren’t wearing athletic materials.

      I like that Kat is displaying other sorts of options besides boring blouses and suits. While this is much of my life, I’m allowed to have cool jackets and dresses and place them inside my otherwise conservative wardrobe, and some of these picks help me find those “personality” items.

  2. BankrAtty

    When I clerked, I sometimes wore a simple, skinny black leather headband with my 1960s-era Liza Minneli-esque bob. I thought it looked polished.

    • Zelda

      I sometimes wear a black satin headband when I wear my naturally curly hair in a bun to control flyaways. My hair is pretty dark, so there isn’t much of a contrast.

      • Anonymous

        I do this. I think it transforms the look from a “I threw my hair up because its a mess” into an actual hairdo. But, you can barely see the headband unless you were up close. I would not wear a gold or any other contrasting color to work.

    • Apples

      I used to wear a slim close-to-my-haircolor headband with updos too, but now I have glasses so I can’t.

        • Must be Tuesday

          I’m not Apples, but I can’t wear headbands with my glasses because the headband would sit on top the stems of the glasses, which is both uncomfortable and unstable. Arranging the band in such a way that it doesn’t sit on top the stems leaves the headband flopping around or sitting 1/2 an inch above my head. I have a very small head, and have trouble finding headbands that fit well even when I’m not wearing my glasses. I’ve never found a headband that works when I’m wearing glasses.

    • LilyS

      I would wear this, but not as a headband as shown. I’d wear it with my hair tucked into the back a bit like a Gibson roll.

        • LilyS

          I don’t know if you’ll see this, but – it’s based on the ‘two minute hair tuck’ from an Essiebutton video, but adapted a little at the front to look more polished. I can’t do it at the moment, sadly, as my hair’s a tiny bit too short.

  3. Headbands

    It depends on the style of the headband and the hairstyle, some will look good, others not so. For work I would pick something in a neutral easy to blend in color such as black and various shades of brown. I probably wouldn’t do metallic but that might work for some.

    • Baconpancakes

      Generally, I think a headband in the same shade or tone as your hair is ok. A blonde could probably wear this headband with a low ponytail or a bun. Short hair looks more professional with headbands than longer hair does, probably because long hair can skew young and girlish to start with.

      On that note, anybody have any favorite headbands for blonde hair?

    • Anonymous

      Agreed. I am wearing them to help get through the awkward phase of growing out a pixie cut. Most of the headband (generally a soft elastic headband, with beads or jewels) is covered by my hair, with just a small bit of sparkle. I think not-too-flashy headbands would work with short hair, a low/sleek ponytail or bun, or curly hair either partially or fully pulled back. (I’m sure there are other cases as well.)

  4. Gail the Goldfish

    I kind of love this, but that’s because I’m a huge nerd and it looks like something the elves would wear in Lord of the Rings. Which is to say, good for ComicCon, probably not so good for the office.

    • Lorelai Gilmore

      Yes! It would be perfect for my Woodland Fairy Princess birthday party for my five year old.

      • Gail the Goldfish

        Which would be awesome, because everyone knows Lorelai Gilmore throws the best birthday parties. I bet Rory had a Woodland Fairy Princess party when she was 5.

    • Ellen

      Kat, I love this too, but what about SCHRUNCHIE’S? I have worn Schrunchie’s for the last 6+ years in the office and they have been VERY well receved, both by the judge as well as the manageing partner!

      When I was in law school, I met a woman who helped me figure out that some men LIKED to see my face, even tho in college guy’s liked my long blond hair DOWN. I never understood this, but later found out that men felt more macho when they were doeing thing’s with a slim blond, even if her face was OBSCURED by her hair! Well I never liked the idea when it was hot out, so when the schrunchie alternative presented itself, I seized he opportunity!

      Men tend NOT to like them, but my job depends on onley a few men, and they like the schrunchie, so it’s YAY fo the SCHRUNCHIE!!!!

  5. Em

    Did anyone read the amazing article in the NYT Style section recently about “power tiaras” and the office? It was basically the epitome of the NYT Style section and, essentially, made my life. Except that the article did keep conflating “jeweled headbands” with tiaras. I’ll put a link in another comment.

  6. Anonymous

    Anyone have experience refinancing their student loans with Darien Rowayton Bank (aka “DRB”)?

    I did mine with SoFi last year but it was right at a time when they weren’t offering the 5 year variable, where the rates are lower, so while my 10 year variable rate is lower than my Staffords were, I still feel like it could be lower. DRB is currently offering as low as 1.97% after autodebit for the 5 year variable rate (the highest rate for that payment plan is around 3.7%, so even if I don’t get the best-published rate, it’s still lower than my SoFi rate).

    I remember looking at them when I did SoFi and I think my main concern was that the variable rate cap was very high–somewhere in the mid to high teens. It’s now 9%. I’m also pretty close to paying them off so I would be able to wipe them out quickly with other savings if the rates shot up to that (at current rates, I prefer to keep that money set aside if you’re wondering why I don’t just pay them off now).

    Since the cap seems to be less of an issue, I’m mainly wondering if anyone tried to use them and found the customer service awful, or anything else to be wary of? I’m pretty “meh” on SoFi’s customer service (the servicer seems about 5 years behind the times but the people are very nice; I haven’t interacted with SoFi since I finished my application, and found them to be the typical flippant 20something start-up employees you’d expect to find in the Bay Area)…all this to say, I’m not looking for Nordstrom levels of customer service, but trying to avoid servicer horror stories like failing to properly credit payments or accidentally taking a payment out twice in the same day.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I have no personal experience w/ DRB. When I was researching which company I wanted to ReFi w/ I seriously considered DRB. I found one online review though that really scared me off. The general online reviews at the time said they had slow to respond customer service. The one that scared me was someone who had her monthly bill taken out of her account twice and they wouldn’t return the money. Instead they just applied it to the following month’s payment. She needed the money for other bills and wanted it returned. No idea if the story is true and it was just one crazy online review but it scared me off.

    • Simsi

      I refi’d all my student loans with DRB, though fixed for 10 years. I largely picked it because the rates were the best. Customer service wise, I have had zero problems. It isn’t quite as automated as I assume SoFi is, and the website is a bit dated, but that’s manageable. I’m also able to get a hold of them when I need to (mainly via email, which is great). The downside is that in order to get a slight interest rate reduction you have to open an account with them and send a paper check for deposit (they don’t appear to have electronic transfer capability online, but they might now). I just send a bill-pay check from my bank, so I don’t waste any effort on that anyway & it isn’t a thing for me. Overall, I have no complaints.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for the replies! Simsi, that is useful info that you can just do a bill pay check–I don’t even have paper checks for my checking account so that would probably be the route I’d have to go if they don’t have ACH enabled.

  7. anonymous

    I’ve always read that trench coats are a classic wardrobe staple, but I completely don’t get them.What purpose do they serve (light jacket, maybe?), when one would wear such a thing, and why I should want one. Anyone care to enlighten me?

    • KittyKat

      Trench coats fill the spring and fall coat void for me. I usually get 4-6 month wear a year from mine. They can be bundled up with scarves and sweaters or be a top layer for the mornings where its chilly but going to warm up by noon. I find them incredibly versatile.

        • KittyKat

          Neutral colour, 100% cotton, lined, interesting buttons/lapels/details, mid thigh length or knee length, belted.

    • E

      I agree. I like how they look and I think they look professional but they don’t look particularly warm.

    • Zelda

      I love my trench coats and wear them almost year round in my Southeastern city, depending on the weather. Depending on the layers underneath, I wear mine anywhere from the 40’s to the 80’s (if raining). Two features that increase their versatility are a detachable wool (or warm synthetic) lining and a hood (ideally detachable also).

      While they can be useful everywhere, you’ll definitely get the most wear out of them in relatively mild climates like the Southeast or somewhere like the Pacific Northwest/San Francisco that is generally moderate but damp/rainy.

    • Anon

      The purpose they serve is that they are a coat. They provide warmth, though not as much as a heavy down coat. They can be water-resistant and lined.

    • Contracts

      I bought mine at the Talbot outlet four years ago, and I love it. It makes me feel stylish and classic. And it’s machine washable!

    • Charlotte York

      I love my trench. Mine is black and lined so I get a lot of wear out of it into the early months of winter. I like it because it’s not bulky, it’s easy to pack for work trips and it makes me feel polished and put together.

    • Must be Tuesday

      This may be location dependent. I love the look of trenches, but I find that I get practically no use out of mid-weight coats. I tend to just layer on sweaters and suit jackets until it gets cold enough for a winter coat, plus it just doesn’t seem like my area gets much in between weather. Maybe somewhere that winters aren’t as cold, or where spring and fall are longer would be a better place to wear trench coats.

      • LilyS

        This. In the UK it’s practically spring/fall from March all the way through to October, with a brief interlude for ‘summer’ in June or July. Especially in offices where you don’t need a suit jacket, a trench is a great top layer. (Plus pockets!)

      • Wildkitten

        Yeah I have a London Fog rain trench and I don’t wear it nearly as much as I do my flip flops or my puffer coat

    • s-p-c

      In addition to spring/fall, I find a trench handy for business travel when I’m leaving DC for a warmer climates during the winter (perfect to look polished on the plane, then I can stow it as needed in my suitcase more easily than a winter coat).

    • Monte

      Love my trenchcoat. I live in Chicago and wear it spring and fall, tote it along “just in case” during the summer, and like s-p-c, take it when I am traveling to warmer climates. Mine has a great zip-out lining, so it is warm enough in early spring/late fall, but not heavy and bulky the rest of the year. And it is an easy way to make jeans or casual outfits look more polished if needed.

    • Amy H.

      Late to the discussion, but as someone who lives and works in San Francisco, I wear one of my trench coats nearly every work day for 12 out of 12 months of the year. One of them has a zip-in wool liner that’s actually quite warm, but I generally only use that when I’m going out of town.

      I love love love trench coats. (I think it helps that they are flattering to my shape — pear with not much decolletage but a relatively small waist — so something with structured shoulders, that is double-breasted and has a belt at the waist then flares out to an A-line below is pretty much my gold standard.)

      • NancyD

        Almost a perfect ditto for me…live in Northern California , wear black London Fog rain trench with zip out liner as my almost every day coat. I have a boyish figure, so I don’t pull the belt tight, but loosely loop it. It looks flattering, I think.

    • Trixie

      Because it is classic – never goes out of style. You always look smart in one, as long as it fits. Buy one that is long enough to cover a dress without the hem sticking out (they were first made as a military coat to be worn “in the trenches,” so they’re waterproof and meant to cover your clothing), and make sure it fits over a suit jacket without looking tight (these are not supposed to be fitted coats), and if you buy the right one, you never have to replace it. Don’t get one that’s too styled, go for the classic double breasted, with a belt. I started out with a 99 dollar store brand when i was 21 and it looked like crap 2 years later. Replaced it with another cheapie, did that a few more times and realized I was throwing my money away and came to my senses. I wore a threadbare one for a few more years, saving up so I could fly to London and buy that traditional Burberry that you see on every foreign correspondent when I turned 35. I believe it cost 1000 US then, maybe 12—either way, it was less than replacing a 99 dollar coat every 2 years for the foreseeable future. I couldn’t afford the liner at the time, and 20 years later haven’t felt the need to buy it—the coat blocks the wind and is fine until the temps get to 35 or so (by then I am wearing a sweater or jacket under it). Coat looks great for its age, just a size too big now. But I just tie the belt and carry on—it’s a coat that built to last and will probably go another 25 years.

  8. Coach Laura

    To Kat and everyone else in the east coast storm path – Stay safe, stay warm and good luck!

    • Beantown

      Thanks!! As a native New Englander, I haven’t really thought toooooo much about it. I grew up with some enormous storms. No doubt, we will get a ton of snow in a small amount of time, but the media really is having a field day with it. It will be me, netflix, wine and work in my PJs at home with DH all day…. what’s not to love!? (unless we lose power, then I lose netflix, and then we have a real problem).

      • Blonde Lawyer

        We are way too tech addicted. We are charging up all of our devices (work ipad, personal computer, husband’s work ipad, work phone, personal phone, old laptops) and plan on using my husband’s work hotspot (unlimited that he is allowed to use for personal use) to keep the Netflix going on our devices if we lose power.

      • BB

        So jealous! I’m going to be at home too, but need to work/take conference calls. :(

  9. Marie

    No.

    Threadjack: a law school friend invited me to a 1920s themed fundraiser. She was invited by a partner at her firm, who got a table. I am interested in networking with these people. In light of that, would any of these be appropriate:

    (1) https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/bcbgmaxazria_dresses/rayacocktaildress

    (2) https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/badgleymischka_dresses/sequinremixgown

    (3) https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/nanettelepore_dresses/nightmovessheath (looks super short on the model, but longer on the regular people. I am 5’7)

    (4) https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/sachinandbabi_dresses/foxtrotdress (same as above)

    I want to look cute and go with the theme, but not be overly sexy. Ideas?

  10. Groups in DC

    I’m wondering if anyone has recommendations for groups or meet-ups in DC to join to make new friends. I’m a 28-year old female, work for the government, and I’m somewhat recently separated. This means I have more time on my hands. I have wonderful friends but I’d love to try to develop some new relationships, particularly with females. But, making friends as an adult is difficult. My workplace doesn’t offer many options, so I was wondering if perhaps a group that meets regularly would be a good option. Not sure what type of group that would be, but my interests include drinking socially (yes I count that as an interest since god knows I spend enough time doing it), reading, photography, and style/design.

    If you have other suggestions for making friends — I’m all ears!

    • roses

      I know you didn’t list it as an interest, but my friends who do intramural sports are obsessed. Apparently, 1) you don’t have to be very good, 2) drinking is just as (if not more so) important as playing, and 3) tight friendships and romances form pretty quickly. There are a ton of groups in DC – I don’t have personal experience but some googling will give you reviews of the various leagues.

      • Apples

        +1 to intramural sports – look for a WAKA (world adult kickball assn or something) league in your area (there is/used to be one that played on the mall!).

      • Liz

        +1 intramural sports. Leagues in the DC area range from mostly social to competitive – there’s a good mix. More ladies in the mostly social leagues.

    • Zelda

      That’s the whole purpose of meetup dot com! Types of groups that might interest you include book clubs, and wine/food groups. Intramural sports can also be great, but it definitely depends on the team/league. I joined a team last summer, thinking it would be all fun in the sun and day drinking and instead it was super competitive teammates, 2 hour practices on Saturday mornings before Sunday games and no drinking at all! Some of my teammates complained about their previous league, which sounded like it was exactly what I had been looking for.

      • Baconpancakes

        Meetup can be hit or miss, but I know some people find some great groups.

    • Senior Attorney

      Rotary Club! I joined mine after separating from my husband and it was a huge game changer. Not only have I made a lot of nice very nice women friends, I even met a nice man with whom I have been keeping company for the past little while.

      As far as your interests go, in our club we are all about drinking plus there’s a monthly book club and other sub-groups that meet regularly or irregularly.

      ETA: yes, Rotary is likely to skew older than you, but we love our 20-something members and they seem to love us back. And I think it’s good to have friends of all ages.

      • Asideralis

        Accidentally hit report when I meant reply!

        I agree about Rotary Club. I’ve been planning on joining the DC Rotary Club soon, since I just moved to the area. I’m a 26 year old software engineer.

    • Anon dc-er

      I will be your friend!
      Seriously, we are same in the same age range and have similar interests if you want to get a drink sometime.

      • Wildkitten

        I also enjoy drinking socially. Count me in.

        Bonnie has the DC email list.

      • Ellen

        I wish I were still in DC. FOOEY! I am a little OLDER, but am in a similar situation b/c I no longer have a steady guy — Alan was my last and he was a drunk. We ladie’s need to stick together b/c guy’s do it, so we can ALSO. If there is a group of WOMEN in NYC about my age that want to meet up, we should and leave the men at HOME, tho I suspect if a few of us got together in a PUBLIC place, a lot of guy’s would start congregating and noseing around us. DOUBEL FOOEY! But if we can keep them away, we can have a GREAT TIME! YAY!!!!!!

      • Asideralis

        I’d love to join in, too! I’m an avid reader, and I enjoy the occasional social drink. My hobbies are fractal art, climbing, hiking, sometimes knitting, and coding.

    • Trixie

      I’m sure you don’t use a film camera (who does these days?). but they used to have open darkroom time at Glen Echo park…and there were always some interesting folks hanging around. Meetup.com has a dc area hiking group that goes out on weekends. I don’t know where you are, but there are tons of arts classes around town—torpedo factory in alexandria, stuff in bethesda, smithsonian associates programs. Tons of stuff happening all over town, every day of the week!

    • desi inside and out

      if you are athletic, or enjoy that– training for a race/event might be up your alley. something like team in training for the leukemia and lyphoma society or training for a 1/2 marathon or 10K with a running group (check meet up)

  11. Lynnet

    I got a Franco Sarto bag at Ross about 6 months ago which has a pocket in between the top zipper and the top ridge of the bag (link to follow, you can see the pocket in the interior view). It’s basically the most amazing thing to happen to me in the world of handbags since I turned 22. I keep my phone and bus pass in there, and never have to hunt for anything. Unfortunately, the rest of the bag is falling apart. The edges of the handles are fraying pretty badly, and I’m going to need a new bag soon. I’ve been thinking I’d upgrade to a Coach bag, based solely on the fact that they’re supposed to wear like iron, and I’m hard on my bags (clearly). But, I love this little hidden pocket, and I don’t know if I can stand to buy a bag that doesn’t have one. Does anyone know of any higher end bags that will stand up to abuse and that have a hidden pocket like this?

  12. Kate

    I think there’s a huge difference between headbands with a work-appropriate updo and headbands worn as in the model, with long flowing hair. #2 is too Disney princess, I think #1 can be OK for the office.

  13. Anon44

    I don’t care if headbands make me look young, old, unprofessional or childish. It is $70!!! Who would spend that much on a regular headband. Talk about over price. A simple $5 Goody would be fine with me (if I was to need/want one.)

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