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Why do all of the bags that are out right now either seem huge (ludicrously capacious, really) or super teeny tiny? This Mulberry bag seems like a great in-between, where you can carry your lipstick and a wallet and maybe even a small paperback but not, say, a complete change of clothes.
The bag comes in “bright oak” (pictured) as well as black and olive, and is $1245 at Nordstrom, Farfetch, and Mulberry.com.
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Anon
Just had to share because it was so absurd. Just got off a call with a partner who used the term ‘not our kind’ TWICE in the same conversation. Somehow my eyes managed not to roll out of my head. Fwiw, it was more of a class reference vs. a racial one but WOW.
Anon
Big yikes! I used to work for a small old boys club firm. There were many examples of that kind of thing but one of the worst was when I was driving around the local university campus, which has a large international student population (especially Chinese), with two partners. The partners were both alums and had a long conversation about how they missed when the university had “people like us” as students. It still has *plenty* of white farm kids, it’s just not 100% white anymore.
Anon
I know someone who is big into “from a good family,” which I take to mean a rich family, but like a goes-to-cotillion family vs NASCAR-rich or pro athlete family. Can only imagine what he thinks of my family (very Waffle House but not outlaws).
New Here
LOL at Waffle House not outlaws. I have a similar background.
Anon
But even if my family were outlaws, should it matter? Just count the silver after the elders leave? I’m not the outlaw.
FWIW, if you are rich enough to get a presidential pardon, are you back to being good people? Or “Janie’s people are interesting” still?
Anon
My folks will see your folks n them at the Waffle House.
Anonymous
Waffle House always makes me think of the PBS “do you live in an upper-middle class bubble quiz” that included “have you eaten at waffle house in the past year” as one of the questions. My Waffle House attendence definitely impacted my score (and I know I live in an upper-middle class bubble)
Anonymous
WTF is a Waffle House!!!
Anon
Google what Tony Bourdain had to say about WH. He explains it better than I or anyone else could.
anon
In case you’re not in the US, I’ll reply even though I’ve been only once or twice. They are all-night diners (I’m trying not to say “pancake” houses!) found by highway exits and in small, mostly Southern towns. They used to be smoke-filled, but probably aren’t any more. A place to go to sober up. However! As I recall, excellent food. But I think (and I’ve never heard this pejorative use before) what these two snobs were referring to was the socio-economic position and origins of people who work and dine there. I can’t elaborate for fear of offending someone here, for instance by mentioning Wal-Mart or hillbillies. So maybe someone else could continue. I’ve probably left out a lot.
Gail the Goldfish
Waffle House cannot be explained, it can only be experienced.
Anonymous
Even when I lived in poverty I didn’t willingly eat at waffle house
Anon
My family couldn’t afford to have restaurant meals!
Anon
I’ll have my hashbrowns scattered, smothered, double covered, well, please. Am keeping my fingers crossed that Hurricane Helene doesn’t make it into Red on the Waffle House index.
Anonymous
Word!
Anon
OMG. If that’s a standard turn of phrase for this guy (assume it’s a guy) maybe give it some thought before the next call and figure out how to respond in a way that’s not just tacit agreement.
Anonymous
“What do you mean by ‘not one of us?'”
Anon
That’s the one I was thinking of!
Anon
Awful. And if that what he says out loud when you’re on a call, we have to know he’s way more vicious when he thinks he’s around “similar” people.
Anonymous
At my NYC biglaw firm the phrase was – he reminds me of me at his age. Of course it could only be a HE because how could a young female associate remind them of themselves. And he had to be from Westchester, Connecticut, ritzy parts of Long Island, country club family, blah blah. Of course if you reminded partner of himself at age 25 or 30 that default meant that you were seen as an ambitious go getter who should be championed for partner because that’s what we want the next gen of the firm to look like. Eyeroll.
anon
Reminds me of the time I was accidentally forwarded an email thread where one of the partners I worked for at my biglaw firm was suggesting that a male SUMMER ASSOCIATE would be a “better fit” for working with the client I was hired to work for because he liked fishing, was conservative, and a Christian.
It was also noted elsewhere in the email thread that he could barely write…which was true… but he also happened to be the son of a nationally influential conservative politician.
Anonymous
Please tell me you saved that email? That is such useful information to have.
Lexi
WTF. I’m in Silicon Valley and am seeing some crazy stuff. Just wow.
Anonymous
I am struggling today. I got back some work I assigned to a junior employee (who really isn’t that junior they’ve been here over a year) and it’s just laughably bad. I don’t live in the US so worker protections are strong and I’m stuck with this person. Every conversation about improving they just say ‘yes yes yes’ but they seem perpetually confused. This document has no citations, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. They have a master’s degree and I’ve verified it’s real, I’m at such a loss.
Anecdata
You have to figure out ways to push back the extra work their low quality causes — examples: Work comes back with proofreading errors? Require them to find a peer and exchange for proofreading before anything comes to you.
You walk through a bunch of QA needs, and they “yes, yes” it but it doesn’t happen? Have /them/ write (and keep updated!) a quality checklist they need to go through before anything is sent to you. Big conceptual chunks are missing? Have them send you conceptual outlines before they start writing (eg. you want to review when they are 20% done, not 90% done).
When you get work that doesn’t meet the standards you’ve set (like missing citations), don’t spend time on a detailed review – send it back as soon as you notice the first major error
OP
Unfortunately there is no ‘peer’, we’re a team of two and I’m pretty much our country’s expert. My reviews are short, I sent a two line email saying it needs proper citations, formatting etc, I didn’t fix anything myself but the fact I even had to send that email enraged me. I guess part of my resentment is that when I was at this employee’s level I wrote an industry changing standard alone, and this person can’t even do basic research.
Anon
I think you start documenting these things. Everything in writing. Specific things like a checklist of things that need to be done and by when. If you get it back and those things are sort of halfway done, you document that in writing too. Even in places with strong worker protections, you can discipline people who aren’t doing the job.
The objective should be either to drive them out by holding them to the actual job requirements (not their imaginary version of those) or you document well enough to have grounds for termination. Keep your eye on the prize here. I know it’s more work for you in the short term but it will save you in the long term, before this albatross gets even more seniority.
Anon
That stuff doesn’t work with people that incompetent. You can say “this document needs proofreading” and they have no idea what that means – it’ll come back to you next time looking the exact same. You can say “you need to cite your sources” and they’ll say “oh ok!” and they’ll dump a single URL into a Word comment. They don’t get it and never will. We’ve had several employees who were so, SO bad at this stuff and seemed to have so little capacity to learn that we had to let them go, even though our company almost NEVER fires anyone. We simply couldn’t afford to help the employees repeat sixth grade when we needed high-performing professionals.
OP
Yes this is exactly the type of person I’m dealing with, if I’m lucky sometimes I get random URLs. This staff member went to a really good university, how on earth did they write a thesis?!?
Anon
Do you have to even write a thesis? I did but it was a choice and to get departmental honors. Not required and most didn’t.
OP
They went to one of the top universities in the world and their masters program isn’t class based it’s thesis based.
Anon
Ah, I see my ex-colleague has come to work for you! Godspeed; it will not get better. I will go to my grave wondering how on earth a colleague who could barely write a coherent sentence and who thought wholesale plagiarism was A-OK graduated from a top public university. It honestly made me question admissions standards – her sentences would literally be in the vein of “Therefore; the conclusion Suggests, that of the three items (A and B), it would be recommended, by leadership, to pursue: A.”
OP
Uh this is my fear.
Anon
Just be careful. We didn’t know how low she could go until we discovered (the day before a massive deliverable for a brand-new client was due) that she had copy-pasted entire sections of research articles and passed the writing off as her own. It was a 200-page document with 10 contributors and she slipped under the radar.
Anon
Sounds like she was having AI do her writing.
Anon
No. AI is better.
Anon
I don’t think so… My boss uses AI a lot in his writing and it often produces sentences that sound just like this. He’s a reasonably smart and articulate guy and his writing is fine, if not great, when he doesn’t use AI.
Anonymous
Lack of proper citation is the biggest lazy AI use flag.
I would push it back for citation, have them make outlines going forward, and require a Hemingway or similar tool before it comes to you.The outline should help with structure and content and train them to think in structured output. The editing tools should help train them on spotting most egregious errors. Also, try to stop comparing yourself—it’s not helpful and will only make you feel like tearing more of your hair out. If you guys truly are strapped together for the long term, you’re going to have to be more willing to pad schedules such that you can push work back and coach. Pushing it back will help weed out if it’s laziness and the coaching will be making this get better over time. Document all so you’re covered when something of poor quality makes it out the door inevitably.
Nesprin
I mean, masters theses are typically public record and can be downloaded most places. And reference checks and plagiarism detectors and imagetwin could be run on a downloaded masters thesis. Or checked with retractionwatch/pubpeer.
(ideally you’d do this before hiring, but academic fraud in a thesis is a great way to fire someone for cause)
Anon
I’ve never owned a coffee machine but am thinking of getting myself one for my 40th birthday next year.
I have a preference for something that uses whole beans over pods (for environmental reasons; I’m not a huge snob about the taste of coffee). I mainly drink iced lattes and cold brew coffee so I would really love a machine that can make iced drinks. I know they say you can pour hot coffee from a machine over ice and add milk but I’ve tried that in airport lounges and it never tastes right to me. Are there good options for iced coffees and espresso machines that don’t cost a fortune? I was googling and the one that kept coming up is a DeLonghi that’s $1,800 which seems like a huge investment for a first coffee machine.
Anon
I just make cold brew iced coffee in the fridge once a week…simple and effective.
Anon
Wirecutter just had something about this. For cold brew, they recommended the dirt cheap Oxo Good Grips Cold Brew Coffee Maker! I think you’d have to grind your beans separately.
Anon
Get a burr grinder for whole beans and the cheap coffee maker. Grinder is where you spend the money!
AIMS
We do burr grinder and a French press for cold brew in my house. It tastes great. We have an actual espresso machine too but it’s not great with cold coffee, the French Press is better.
DC Inhouse Counsel
Cold brew is an hours long brewing process, so you’re not looking for a typical “machine” for that. I have the KitchenAid Cold Brew Maker and I really like it, it makes about 4 servings of cold brew for me, and has a little tap/spout thing that makes it easy to pour each morning. It lives on a fridge shelf with the spout over the edge of the shelf. You’ll need to grind your beans separately for that or use pre ground beans. Any basic grinder should be ok.
For iced lattes, you need an espresso machine and you do pour the hot espresso over ice. It probably tastes bad in an airport lounge because you’ve probably used regular coffee instead of espresso, and regular hot coffee poured over ice is… not great tasting. Coffee shops usually pour the hot espresso into cold milk and then add ice, so that the hot espresso isn’t immediately melting the ice. Breville is great for espresso machines, if you’re willing to splurge. KitchenAid also has one for cheaper that’s probably 99% as good if you’re drinking lattes and not straight espresso.
Anon
There are espresso machines in airport lounges.
Anon
My pod machine, the Nespresso Vertuo, which I know is not what OP is looking for, makes the best iced coffee ever. I make a double espresso shot, add a teaspoon of sugar while it’s hot, stir in half a glass of ice cubes until the espresso is cool, then fill the glass with ice and add cold milk. I don’t usually faff around with making a cold foam but that works too.
Jules
I have a Ninja coffee maker that does not use pods or K-cups, and I grind my own beans. It will make anywhere from a single cup to a full pot of coffee and also has a settings for “over ice” and maybe “specialty coffee” (I don’t remember exactly the term it uses), to make it very concentrated for latte-type drinks. It also has a milk frother for cappucinos. It was maybe $100 on sale from Best Buy, I think.
For cold brew, I have a cold brew pitcher that I fill with couarsely ground coffee and water and store in the fridge for ~24 hours. It’s similar to this one: https://www.amazon.com/Takeya-10310-Patented-Airtight-Silicone/dp/B00FFLY64U/ref=sr_1_7?crid=N7NM6TDYFBLF&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Ea0w0o4E4UIV9N1uSWSyFjqH2RImcbxnvOac–GN4MZT6DU9u8BnCCoMLhuUe_MqJg4zlvRq0MION1BQ0ygZYrAPS8E6Q6e_V3FRtlXpP8VtFArD4tE7IV7sWA-r8hFoV9MtWKwDytPLNue5feCqLfbCyGk-XgGvNkbDZdvdL1cICOuYEObR8i4LJXDJW60ooZaC0VLUVXvm1qFHNTMQrMyN2TNaTpOCgvKaSrm_e9vn389SjtbAAGgXI0FbI9M5cETPoonaBDSTZtskNa29ZwO7AaSjkiayWnJHd0U5_kY.-K_2oYkfrp2lgZieS2yHq-aX8l8BKD3U3zFad24gJLQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=cold+brew+coffee+maker+bodum&qid=1727380755&sprefix=cold+brew+coffee+maker+bodum%2Caps%2C119&sr=8-7
Jules
Here’s the coffee maker I have: https://www.amazon.com/Ninja-Specialty-Fold-Away-Frother-CM401/dp/B07PFLM2LK/ref=sxin_13_recs_zoco_stores_brand_identity_bs?content-id=amzn1.sym.7d2e00dd-9358-4f89-aca0-04685eb73811%3Aamzn1.sym.7d2e00dd-9358-4f89-aca0-04685eb73811&crid=185GWZ9R92BWJ&cv_ct_cx=ninja+coffee+maker+with+frother&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.S3IeC-PmPji73oNEhnShWzzOhfg7xcKsirgafWdWWF_hD2Reefg5olW50V-18dpQwsP4dSD9GbvO6DTQICiV2yQUNTq-YRyk0ZqhP7b_T3A.W3ouMj_AIl2GvwyHh_6qg_z2LQ_b-Y9bPrbHhFg3ops&dib_tag=se&keywords=ninja+coffee+maker+with+frother&pd_rd_i=B07PFLM2LK&pd_rd_r=39c0626c-ca1e-4908-b73b-a0e578aa2a39&pd_rd_w=NGYOV&pd_rd_wg=eS0zU&pf_rd_p=7d2e00dd-9358-4f89-aca0-04685eb73811&pf_rd_r=7FDECR03JPA688A79T5E&qid=1727381011&sbo=RZvfv%2F%2FHxDF%2BO5021pAnSA%3D%3D&sprefix=ninja+coffee+maker%2Caps%2C165&sr=1-3-5f457e4f-4cf5-45bd-948b-58563dcb013a
Mackintosh
I had the Takeya model for a few years and the mesh strainer developed holes (may have been user error). I upgraded to a glass one with a rigid metal filter, like this: https://www.amazon.com/Airtight-Cold-Coffee-Maker-Spout/dp/B06Y27W76B?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1&psc=1 . It’s been great.
Anonymous
Jura is the best.
Anonymous
There are reusable pods you can use with your own fresh-ground coffee, FYI
Anonymous
I have a $$$ burr grinder that is fantastic for good brand and use a Kalita Wave pour over for my daily cup. Also have an Aeropress, but my husband finds that a bit more finicky to use and the required grind is very different than the pour over, so we only use the Aeropress once in a while.
For cold brew I have a mason jar with a mesh insert that you fill with grounds, cover with water, and let steep in the fridge for a day. Easy peasy.
Anon
What kind of burr grinder do you have. My Phillips Saeco died and is not made anymore.
Anonymous
If you only want iced lattes, not hot, get the Breville Bambino. If you want the option for hot lattes too get the Bambino Plus, which froths the milk automatically so you don’t have to learn to do it manually as you do with the Bambino. And get a burr grinder with a built-in scale.
Anon
Fun question: what are you looking forward to before the end of the year?
My partner asked me this on our weekly date night last night, and I kind of drew a blank. We brainstormed a few things together, but I’d love to hear if anyone else has ideas.
Gail the Goldfish
Fall weather. Hopefully beautiful, crisp, dry Fall weather. It’s been raining pretty much nonstop here for the last several weeks and it is damp and muggy and gross and Helene is not going to help matters.
Anon
I love the entire month of December. Christmas lights! Trees! Birchwood Pine scented candles from Nest! Carols! We have a professional Light Guy for the exterior of the house and I go nuts inside.
I am a little worried, though. This is the first year two of my three children are grown and flown and actually have their own apartments. They won’t be coming home for an entire month on break from school. My oldest is starting a biglaw job next month so I don’t know how much time she will have off. It will be an adjustment, but they’re both living close by.
I may or may not know if my youngest will know where she is going to college by the end of the year. If her dearest wish comes true, she will, but I am not terribly optimistic.
anon
Also, looking forward to curling up on the sofa in the morning with my coffee, a blanket, and the entire downstairs lit only by christmas lights (it’s a big tree and a lot of garland on stair cases). I’ve also programed Alexa to turn on the lights at once which gives me so much joy.
Anon
I have a very busy elementary school age kid, so we have about a million games, performances, play dates and birthday parties between now and year-end. But for big picture things… fall break in San Diego & a day at Disney, Halloween and associated events (which I hated pre-kid but now love!), an overnight trip just me and kiddo to the nearby big city for theater and afternoon tea in early December and a cozy winter break at home (we normally travel but opted out this year and I’m so happy about it).
Anon
We’re going to go all in on our holiday cards with our cats this year. We thought a fun project that we were both working on together would be a nice way to spend the time when it’s dark and dreary outside.
Anonymous
I want to do this so bad, but the party pooper says no. Maybe the card will just be me and the cats.
Anon
Cooking for the holidays. Getting past 10/15 tax season, wearing wool sweaters and warm socks (plus other clothing, to be clear. I’m not Winnie-The-Pooh-ing it around the office)
anon
Now my favorite time of year starts. Fall flowers. Fall leaves turning beautiful colors.
So I love going someplace beautiful in nature to enjoy leaves are at their peak — ideally, a weekend escape. And maybe have a freshly made caramel apple at an apple farm, made with real, simple caramel.
The fall “season” is now so short for us, with global warming. Last year it was snowing by October. 1 month of fall is too short for me…. but I love every minute.
Anon
I love that it gets dark early and I feel released from self imposed pressure to Go Do Stuff after work.
Anon
+1 also it’s so much easier to get enough sleep in the winter. I live on the far western edge of a timezone so it stays darker even later than it should in summer, but having the sun set at 9:30 in the summer seriously f*cks with my body’s ability to fall asleep at a reasonable time. Melatonin helps, but isn’t a silver bullet. I sleep so much more in the winter and it’s glorious.
Anon
Wow, I have nothing. How depressing is that? I don’t enjoy fall because it just means winter is coming.
Anon
I have long thought that the fall and winter holidays are just there to distract us from the bummer of winter. I try to lean into them now.
Mackintosh
The big holidays should be spread out more so we have something to look forward to in January/February.
Anon
I love that my kid’s birthday is in February for this reason! Agree about needing something to celebrate in that long stretch post-New Year’s before the weather gets nice.
Anon
Spouse and I both have birthdays in February, so between that, Valentine’s Day and a long weekend for President’s Day we end up with a pretty solid two weeks of celebrating something. I’d never really thought about it, but I guess it’s good timing.
Anon
You absolutely can plan things to look forward to in January and February.
Anon
I feel the same way but I also love coziness, so I try to lean in to sweaters, candles, baking, tea, reading, etc. It’s not my favorite but it’s something.
Anonymous
100% agree. I am full of dread.
Anonymous
Fall is the Sunday of seasons. On its own, it’s perfectly lovely. In context, I have trouble enjoying it because I know what’s coming next. Sigh.
Anon
It is pretty depressing! What are your fall and winter hobbies and traditions? If the answer is “I don’t have any,” that’s the place to start. A few ideas:
Annual apple picking with friends and family
Corn maze (with kids if you have them)
Bake cozy fall foods – muffins, pumpkin, apple crisp, sky’s the limit
Skiing, cross-country or downhill
Ice skating
Cold winter walks in the woods
You can do this. Winter can be so much better for you!
AIMS
My winter quality of life went up significantly when I started planning an easy February trip somewhere warm (for me, FL from NY over president’s day weekend).
Also when I started wearing a hat and scarf regularly.
But having somewhere to “defrost” to look forward to for a few days really helps get you through the coldest days and then it feels like spring is coming to get you through the rest…
Anonymous
I love fall and am looking forward to all my favorite fall activities! My kids are teens now, but they still get into going to the pumpkin patch and carving pumpkins, baking our favorite fall treats, and a trip out of town for fall break. I look less forward to the holidays because I find them stressful, but really enjoy the time between the start of fall to about Thanksgiving. Then it gets cold and dark and I don’t like that haha.
anon
My big kid and teen still love the pumpkin patch, too, and are already begging to go. WAIT UNTIL THERE IS A CHILL IN THE AIR, children.
Anon
I’m a summer hater, so this is my favorite time of year. I love cold weather, being active outside without getting hot and sweaty and sunburnt and bug bitten, and beautiful sunrises without having to get up at 4 am. I’m going to pick up apples, cider, and donuts at a local orchard this weekend. The Great British Bakeoff comes back this week and that also gets me excited about holiday baking. I also like decorating for Halloween and Christmas.
Anon
Same!! especially as I enter perimenopause and always run hot. I hate summer, love fall and spring, winter isn’t great but I would take it over summer any day. I don’t understand how anyone enjoys the heat and humidity and intense sun, it’s just sticky and gross and buggy.
Anon
Hello my people!
Anonymous
Taking a day trip to NYC with my BF to enjoy the cool weather and holiday scenery. We’ve never gone anywhere and I was so excited when he suggested this, both because I want to share the adventure and because he is the only person I know who.would suggest a day trip that involves flights but this is something I’ve done a few times.
AIMS
Octoberfest & apple picking
Halloween
Xmas plaid, the Nutcracker, and holiday parties
Mulled wine/apple cider/soups
Anon
I’m pretty excited about the high holidays — I’m celebrating them for the first time (long story) and I’m really thrilled to do it!
Hyacinth
Hey! Welcome! That’s great.May the entire season be wonderful and meaningful for you.
Anon
Thank you so much!
Anon
My birthday – It’s just before thanksgiving this year.
My bonus and performance evaluation.
I tend to travel to family for the holidays but there’s a health issue with a relative so we arn’t totally sure where and when I’ll be going for Nov and December.
I hate the travelling and alot of the things that go with the holidays but I do look forward to: lights, home driving in a warm car on a grey cold day after being out all day, christmas eve with all the lights off except the window candles and the tree, deserts.
Lexi
Vacation. Meeting my 2024 personal goals. Visiting my best friend.
Anon
My boss was just let go! I’ve been in the workforce almost 20 years, but have never been in this situation.
They said it wasn’t performance-based, but I think it sort of was? No one else is being laid off. They just decided his position wasn’t necessary, I think in part because he wasn’t doing a whole lot to make himself useful (which I think is partly his fault, and partly upper management’s fault).
Anything to do in this situation besides send him a nice note wishing him well?
Anon
Do you get along well with him? Did he have interpersonal conflicts?
What does this mean for your position?
Anon
No conflicts that I know of, he’s a nice guy. I never felt like he added much value though and it seems upper management agrees. For now my teammates and I report directly to our former grandboss.
Anonymous
Focus on your role–who will you report to now and how can you be most useful to the individual? My boss was let go last year. The transition was easy for me since he didn’t do much, and I largely collaborated with someone else at his level for my projects and finding answers for institutional knowledge–this person became my new boss, and it was really seamless since we already had that sort of relationship even though it wasn’t formalized. (A good lesson to always be kind to everyone!) Most of the rest of his team went elsewhere across the organization and are fairing similarly. Two of the youngest reports whom he spent the most time training and mentoring were let go about six months later. I suspect because he wasn’t actually training them like he should have been and they just couldn’t seem to catch up to the rest of the team’s performance level. They weren’t very proactive about getting more training from their new boss.
For your old boss, connect on LinkedIn and send a note about how much mentoring meant and that you hope to keep in touch. Industries are small. There is a strong likelihood you will work together again in some capacity or bump into each other at conferences or the like someday. You also want to make sure you keep that bridge since you’ll presumably want a reference someday. Don’t discuss why the individual left or be a sounding board if they are unhappy. But do try to be friendly and let him or her know that staying in touch is of value to you. Careers are long. Almost everyone I know has been let go or had to let someone go at some point and often for little “fault” than the employee didn’t fit the direction the organization was moving in, was too expensive, or simply didn’t jibe with one or more personalities. Doesn’t have to be a scarlet letter sort of thing unless there was something unethical that happened.
Anonymous
No the OP but I was in the same situation last week. The difference is that he was horrible with me when my parent was diying. Then I have not reached him after he was let go last week.
In our industry references are not used and TBH everyone knowed how he was: the king of the coffe machine but not really doing anything in the whole day.
Lexi
I’m thinking this might happen to me and my boss will be fired. Haven’t been in this situation. I know I’m ok as known as a high performer. Am also polishing my resume, linked in, and getting new headshots.
anon
supposed to be flying to NC tomorrow from NYC and then driving to VA on saturday and then flying home. Debating whether to cancel or wait and see if the flight goes… certainly don’t want to get stuck away from home but tend to think if i can get out i’m probably OK? guide me. Reason to go is moderately time sensitive and not easy to reschedule but not life changing.
Anon
The airline will probably cancel for you.
Anon
I would cancel. I just had a bunch of people I work with take whatever flights they could to get out early from a conference in FL. Apparently the airports were a mad house and the agents were advising everyone to avoid travel down the southeastern seabord until early next week if possible. I work in a travel heavy firm and we’re getting similar notes – do NOT travel that way or connect in GA if you can help it.
Anon
Florida is quite different than Virginia. Hurricanes aren’t normally very destructive that far north.
Anon
She’s flying to North Carolina.
OP cancel if you can
Gail the Goldfish
Flying into where and at what time? The way the storm is tracking, it looks like it will be mostly the western part of the state getting the worst of it, so CLT is probably going to get cancelled, but RDU isn’t looking that bad, especially later afternoon tomorrow. I wouldn’t go near the mountains, but if you’re going eastern part of NC/VA, you’re probably fine. (of course, this is also the state that has a meme about snow vs. hurricanes (just google NC’s reaction to snow vs hurricanes))
Nesprin
Take a look at flightaware- you can look up the exact plane you’ll be on and see if it’s stuck in orlando or the like.
Anon
I live in Charlotte and work for the federal government and we were all sent home this morning after tornado warnings and flash flood warnings. I wouldn’t bother.
Anonymous
does anyone else feel like what you do is a joke, and it’s hilarious that you get paid for it? is this a form of imposter syndrome? like, any idiot could do this with the right support?
Anon
I used to think that until I started interacting with all levels of the public more. I am very lucky to be surrounded by smart motivated people with good to excellent computer skills who have decades of working in big companies that understand my industry. Could any one of them do my job with training and support? Sure, and the reverse is also true. Could anyone walk in off the street and do my job? No, definitely not.
Anonymous
The average person is something. Breaking out of my educated bubble was shocking
Anon
Even accounting for learning differences and opportunities, not everyone is of even average intelligence. I also firmly believe that good habits, determination, and grit once you’ve reached a certain base level of intelligence is what gets you to the next level in life.
I’ve known people that are probably much smarter than me but have no interpersonal skills, aren’t willing to compromise, can’t deal with being told no, etc. etc. In corporate america those are also key skills, and no, not everyone has them.
Anonymous
Goodness. no. What kind of job do you have? I’m a low-paid but high-skilled employee. Should we trade jobs so I can get paid whatever it is that you’re getting paid, to do whatever it is that you’re doing?
Anonymous
Same. I feel like my job is genuinely hard and I am currently underpaid (and actively looking).
Anon
Yes, this exactly.
pinata
What is your job?!?!
I was about to say no, definitely not because I have clients and I know they don’t get it right. But also, I am not special, I just took time to learn it. So, no, not off the bat, but I do think anyone could learn my job. I’m an employment lawyer.
Anon
I have felt this way before about jobs that were low skill but very high trust.
Anon
What types of jobs are those?
anon
No, not really. I’ve seen what they churn out when they try to do my job, and it isn’t good.
Anon
Not at all. What I do makes a difference.
Anon
I’m actively trying to offload the ‘easy’ parts of my job to various assistants and younger staff. The amount of hand holding and coaching calls I’m doing is making it very clear that no, not everyone can do my job.
Anonymous
A lot of people could be trained to do my job reasonably well for a short time. But there is a high amount of turnover due to burn out so I think that is where the difference comes in. But it has aspects that are difficult and require skills that not everyone has.
AIMS
Yes and no. While I have sometimes felt this way, I also appreciate that what I was being paid for was my judgment and expertise. It’s kind of like being a “regular” kids’ doctor – maybe most of what you do day to day is just tell people to get some rest and drink some fluids, or take some antibiotics but your job is also to recognize when more serious intervention is required and know how to handle that when it happens.
And related/ unrelated- as discussed above in the other thread – you’d be shocked at how bad some people are at their jobs.
Anon
No, but I’m technical / math, and I know very few people have my niche experience and knowledge.
Anon
I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s a joke, but I definitely do not think it’s that hard. I work for a government contractor. I don’t feel like I work that hard but my bosses always love me and my clients seem to as well (in-house). I’m rarely the smartest lawyer, but I am usually the most personable. Shrug
NaoNao
I get a form of that where I sometimes feel icky and weird when I “zoom out” to the corporate cog/machine/wheel and think about the never-ending and self-supporting system of all the interlocking pieces that feel so…arbitrary and fragile…banks that process the checks made from retail workers who buy the deli meat from farmers who work with social workers to get their gov’t stipends, and those same social workers stopping by a coffee place to fill out their insurance paperwork and talking to a call center agent who’s sipping on a Starbs made by a college student who’s majoring in marketing and product design and on and on. But I’m proud of my job and work and don’t believe that just anyone can do it!