Corporette.com

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 135 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Helina Flat

Coffee Break |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Naturalizer Helina Flat | CorporetteThis flat is one of the best sellers on Zappos, and I can see why — I like the round cap toe, the metallic chain detail, and the N5 comfort footbed. Zappos has it in this bronze version (which I suspect would make a great nude-for-you shoe for some skin tones), as well as black; Nordstrom has it in four colors (including navy and beige). It's $69, and available in regular, wide, and narrow sizes 4-12. Naturalizer Helina Flat

Sales of note for 9.16.24

Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…

RSS Error: WP HTTP Error: cURL error 60: Issuer certificate is invalid.

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. I'm Just Me

    GDA. Well, maybe. I haven’t actually seen these shirts in person. Gap has cotton/silk blend shirts on sale for $35.97 marked down from $59.95. Lots of pretty color. The code HAPPY brings them down another 25%. I got 2 for $53 and change.

    I’ll probably regret mentioning this if they sell out.

    Link to follow.

  2. Bee

    Anyone have recommendations of nude-for-me flats for those of us who are way too pale for most “nude” shoe options? I’d prefer rounded/almond toe – mostly for a business casual office.

    TIA!

    • Anon

      They’re not necessarily supposed to exactly match your skin tone, just not have a high contrast. Even if you are the whitest of white, any generic “nude” color that is meant to be for Caucasians will do what you intend or if you prefer, pale pink.

    • Ellen

      Yay! Coffee Break! I love Zapo’s, but I am NOT a big fan of flat’s b/c I need to look very tall so that men are in awe of me. With flat’s I just look like a littel blond girl lookeing for her mom, but with 4″ heel’s, men are litereally falling all over themselfs! YAY! If onley one would MARRY me, I would consider weareing flat’s again. DOUBEL YAY!

      Myrna told me both of those guy’s are interested in goeing out again. No thank’s! I thought Alan was a schlub, but these guys’ are the worst! Even if they make alot of money, I could NEVER fathom the thought of either of them huffeing and puffeing on top of me, or for that matter, in any position whatsoever! FOOEY!

      The manageing partner’s brother is miffed that I took away his key. I think he took at least one pair of my panties. He must have the same issues with women as Oleg, who it turn’s out took my pantie’s and one of my shoe’s. FOOEY on Oleg.

      I am heading into court early tomorrow, so I might not get to post, unless I use my IPAD. Mason is goeing to carry my stuff, so I will look sleek with my new pump’s and red suit. The judge has seen me in the suit before and he love’s it!!!! YAY!!!!

    • Baconpancakes

      I’m pretty happy with the Cole Haan flats I bought last year, and while they’re about the color of my skin only when I’m super tan, they look nude enough on my super white skin. I did size up a half size, and they took a bit to break in the heel, but they look great on.

      • Wildkitten

        I bought them in both colors and my black ones fell apart in like a month.

          • Anon

            Mine too! I called customer service and they were not helpful. It was going to cost $9 to return them, and then they would “make a determination” whether I deserved an exchange. I expect better from Saks.

        • E

          I have the black, nude and rose gold ones. I wear the black and nude ones regularly and they’re holding up just fine. I have some scuffs on the toe of the nude ones but that’s me not knowing how to walk. I love these.

    • kc

      The lifestride pumps in nude. They’re pretty pale. Or yes, you could go with a pale pink.

    • PHX

      Try the V ince C amuto “E l l e n” shoe. It comes in “bisque” which is really a very pale n u d e with pink undertones. Also, they are reasonably comfortable.

  3. Family Planning

    I posted on the moms thread this morning, but the moms’ site is mostly frequented by newer moms, and I would love the perspective of those of you who have school-age or grown children.

    Basically, I’m curious about family size and age differences between your kids and how it’s impacted your career, marriage, and life in general. How did you reach your family planning decisions, and how did they turn out for you? Did you change your original career path as your family evolved? Discuss here or there, but more opinions are always welcome. Thanks!

    • Happy with our decision

      I have two kids, both girls, who are 3.5 years apart, but 4 years apart in school. Sophomore in high school now and sixth grader. It’s been a wonderful age spread. The girls are close enough in age that they like the same sorts of things at about the same time. This makes it much easier to plan vacations as we can all do the same things or tailor the trip to their interests (used to be Disney, now it’s ski trips), abilities (they’re generally able to be in the same age group or level of lessons) and energy levels (more walking and museums now). They share clothes, books, and many interests. Of course, it helps that they’re both girls. We never considered having more than two for many reasons (including financial, energy level, and ability to split up and trek them each around to their various sports and activities). I’m a little sad that given the age spread they won’t be in school together again, but it does spread out the tuition payments a bit and lets them have their own friends and relationships with teachers. And yes, I do realize that I’ve been very fortunate with respect to how it’s all turned out.

      • Grade school is a big hurdle

        How did you survive school and working? I feel that now that my youngest is in kindergarted, I am totally disconnected from her school / friends. She takes the bus to school and I pick her up from after school, so I don’t really get to meet her teachers / friends / friends parents. I like to think that I’m doing enough academically by trying to read at home, but I’m not sure. I feel that our days are very rushed and way too hurried in the evening and blame work for that. I’d love to scale back, but we need to hire and train up someone first, so that’s a long-term task.

        I think that the easy years are behind me.

        • Away Game

          I think it’s totally normal for parents to be kind of surprised when they go from knowing **everything** about their child to knowing much, much less – that disconnect starts to happen right at kindergarten as you wave goodbye at the bus stop. I recall fondly the notes the daycare would send home telling me what mood my babies were in, how much and what they ate, right down to how often they had diaper changes. Mine are in middle elementary now and what I know is whatever I can manage to convince them to tell me at dinner (what’s the grossest thing that happened today? what’s the craziest? who got in trouble in your class? what is happening in the book your teacher is reading?) I get a few minutes listening to teachers talk to us as a group at parent’s night and a few more just us during conferences twice a year. I hang out with a few parents on the sidelines at sports games and the occasional practice and get some grade-level gossip, and we have a few we’ve clicked with who are now friends of ours who we happened to meet through parenting.

          Honestly, the parents who are SAH don’t seem any less rushed that DH and I in the evenings. My kids get home from school at 4:30, DH and I get home at 5:30-6pm, and it’s a struggle for all parents – not just us – to get kids’ homework done, fed, off to practice, back from practice, bathed, and to bed. Maybe a few mins of reading or – in our case – family football time on TV.

          I think the easy years are now – between 5 and 10. Prehormonal, post-potty-training. They can make themselves breakfast, dress themselves, make up hilarious stories, want to play games (some of which are now fun for me, like Clue) and still accept and offer hugs.

    • Anon

      I have three kids–a 13 year old girl, a five year old boy, and a 3 year old girl. I had my first daughter when I was very young, and so managing school/work with a child has always been my normal. I had my son right after I graduated law school, and then my youngest after I had been working as a lawyer for a couple of years. My husband has been the one to scale back and up until more recently had been working on a part-time contract basis (he is an engineer). He has been working more lately, but we typically arrange our schedules so that one of us is able to be with the kids. My job is a government lawyer job with fairly flexible hours and no overtime typically required (can get hectic when prepping for a big court appearance or something like that.) I don’t make as much money as I could, but I really enjoy the work I do and the flexibility offered.

      We are happy to be moving past the baby stage and once our youngest starts kindergarten my husband will go back to work full time during the day, which will be nice because right now there are times where we hardly see each other.

  4. annon

    All,

    Need some advice in reclaiming a social life. I am a 40 yr old single professional woman living here in the DC area. Most of my friens have married/moved away ect, and I have just come out a 3 yr period of employment instability and depression. My sister used to live in the area and invited me to hang with her and her friends, however, she moved to Boston for a new job. Finally, I have my finances in order (I was almost foreclosed on in 2011) and therapy and antidepressants, as well as a regular excercise schedule (running my 1st 5k this Saturday!) Despite all of this fabulousness, I am quite alone and don’t really have anyone to share my life with on a face to face basis. I speak to my sister and parents every day, and my close friends who all abandoned me for the west coast on a weekly basis. Where do I start. DC is supposedly filled with alot of single women, but I worry about how to get to know anyone better. I sometimes think that everyone else has their life perfectly mapped out, has all of the friends that they need, and would sneer at any attempts that I make to befriend them. I need some advice!!

    • Maddie Ross

      No DC specific advice, but have you tried joining a running group or a women’s only running group? These can be great ways to meet people and make friends – esp. ones that meet after work and include post-run beers or munchies.

      • Clementine

        Yes. I love the women I’ve met through my running group(s). Also, it’s a very ‘go with the flow’ group, so if you can’t make a race/group run/social event, it’s very acceptable.

    • TO Lawyer

      Ok first of all, good for you for getting your finances and exercise schedule back on track!

      I also think the last sentence, while understandable, is not accurate. I don’t think most people have their lives mapped out or have all the friends they need!

      I’m a bit younger than you but some of my close friends have gotten married in the last couple years so I’ve needed to make new friends. I’ve met some people through friends of friends – do you have people you would be comfortable meeting for brunch or coffee or something and seeing what happens? Sometimes you just have to take the first step.

      What about joining a meetup group? Or going to a DC meetup of this s*te? Do you ever meet anyone while running? What about joining a running group?

      Also there is a really good book on the subject – I think it’s called MWF seeks BBF – I read it and found it interesting and helpful in certain respects.

      Good luck!

    • Bonnie

      We haven’t had a DC meetup in a while but email me at dccorpor*tt* at yahoo dot com (replace the * with e) and we can meet for a drink or something.

    • Avril

      I second the advice on the running group. You might also look into trying some new things e.g. going to events at museums. Look into memberships because they usually send out flyers for new things coming up or just check websites. Also consider taking a class in something you are interested in, it could be a language or something in the arts, say photography. Also concerts, don’t be afraid to go alone. Sometimes, people who may also have come alone strike up a conversation. This actually happened to me this summer. Also book clubs, the list is endless. Also I think positivity is important, DC is a big city with people coming and going all the time, there are others out there who are also looking to make new friends. Hope one of these suggestions helps

    • kc

      I’m in DC and engaged, and we have a group of friends, but I do not feel like I have all the friends I need! I don’t think anyone feels like this and I think that loneliness is exceedingly common. Can you join some exercise classes that would encourage socialization? or take up a hobby? What about church or a religious organization?

      • Anonymous

        +1. DC native, married, and I don’t feel I have all the friends I’d like. Don’t rule out your married friends as a source of companionship!

    • anon

      “I sometimes think that everyone else has their life perfectly mapped out, has all of the friends that they need, and would sneer at any attempts that I make to befriend them.”

      Definitely not! Although understandable that you feel that way, do your best to banish this thought from your mind. I was in your shoes a few years ago and felt the same. I’ve gradually been successful in rebuilding my social life. For me, most of that was a result of patiently rekindling older friendships from school (I remained in the area), which doesn’t sound like it will be as easy for you. I have no magical advice, but wanted to congratulate you and encourage you that yes, people totally want to be your friend!

    • Anon

      I would recommend Meetup dot com. That is how I met my current friends (with whom I spend most of my time). It helped that we were all in the same boat for various reasons (just graduated school, just moved to the area, etc.) and were all looking for friendship so there was no guessing about whether the other person was actually looking for new friends.

  5. Anon for this

    This is a comment based on yesterday’s thread on “the Other Woman”, the one who had a three year affair with a woman who was supposedly trying to fix his marriage, but was still seeing her, sending text messages about his love for her etc. I found it interesting that she wondered why the man’s wife chose:[Was it] out of tenacity, spite, a desire to maintain her lifestyle as a SAHM, who knows what, she stuck with him.
    I know it’s easy to judge when one has never been in a particular situation,(in this case she says she loved the man). But seriously I found it odd even a little naive that women in this situation see the wife as the adversary, when really the cheating husband has the upper hand. He gets to have his cake and eat it too i.e. keeping a wife AND a mistress. Just wondering whether men who have been deceived in relationships have similar reactions. I just think that if you are going to be mad at anyone it should be the deceiving party who is presumably in a monogamous relationship but chooses to play the field.

    • Anonymous

      I assumed this was a troll. He loves you omg so much but won’t leave his wife? Who is crazy to be sticking things out?

      • Anonymous

        Genuinely curious here. The poster (troll or not) was called “A Horrible Person” by someone else and here you are saying that she must be crazy to stick it out because he didn’t leave his wife.

        If he DID leave his wife for his girlfriend, is it better? Is the girlfriend not Crazy but still A Horrible Person? Still both? Neither?

    • Nightclub attire

      I read that, too, and wondered what about this guy seemed so good to the girlfriend (who I imagined was single and childless). A married, cheating, lying boyfriend doesn’t hold a lot of appeal. Maybe I am missing something? But this is not a guy I’d tie up three years of my life over.

      [And I really didn’t understand why the OW didn’t understand why someone with children would try to work things out with the cheating husband. If you have a kid with someone, you are stuck with them for life, even if you do get divorced. Much better for everyone if you can work it out or at least work your way to amicability.]

      But, yeah, I never understood being maddest at the other woman. Yes, a little bit. But I’d reserve the matches and kerosene for the guy that done me wrong.

      • Anon

        “But, yeah, I never understood being maddest at the other woman. Yes, a little bit. But I’d reserve the matches and kerosene for the guy that done me wrong.”

        Totally agree. They are both in the moral wrong, but the one who is married (or otherwise pledged-monogamously) is waaaaaay more so.

      • Baconpancakes

        Yep. It’s not NICE (Ellen-caps) to help someone cheat, and you’re certainly culpable, but technically you’re not breaking any vows or promises, other than the Being-A-Decent-Person unspoken ones that you’re supposed to make to society. A friend of mine once slept with a boyfriend, and while I didn’t talk to her for a year, we’re now back on amicable terms, particularly since she’s the one who fessed up and apologized immediately and begged my forgiveness. The BF was a dooshnozzel and I honestly am not certain whether he’s alive or dead anymore.

    • Anon

      It was probably a troll, but even if it wasn’t, people tell them all sorts of things to make situations seem ok in their minds. FWIW, I think men do have similar reactions. There are tons of movies about winning a girl back which completely ignore the question of who she actually likes more or why she can’t decide and be done with it.

  6. Brant

    I have the sleeveless ponte sheath dress from Lands End in brown (link to follow). I LOVE this dress, it’s like wearing pajamas to work. But I always struggle with what to wear over it to keep from freezing. A solid color cardi looks frumpy….do I just have the wrong color? need more/different accessories? How would you style this?

    I saw someone at an industry event recently wearing this dress with a lime green jacket. It looked really good…but my coloring can’t handle lime green :)

  7. Shopping challenge! Camel Blazer

    Hi ladies, I have a shopping challenge for all of you. I love the JCr*w Petite Regent Blazer in Warm Camel (no link b/c of moderation), but it’s sold out in my size (P8). Anyone have any suggestions for a petite camel color blazer for fall?

    (Sorry if this posts again, I included the link the first time and it went into moderation.)

    Thanks!

  8. Anon

    A little off topic for this board but lots of smart ladies around here so I wanted to give it a shot :) I am being laid off soon and am trying to figure out what to do with myself. Not going to go into all of the details but I’m tied to the area I live in, which offers sparse opportunities for my field. Has anyone seriously considered or been involved in franchise ownership, or have SOs/family members/friends etc. that have? I’m thinking something on the business service/finance area but am also peeking around at some other consumer related ideas (NO restaurants/bars/other low margin + high failure rate businesses). I’m not at all afraid of hard work and I have the time and cash reserves built up to do it, but I don’t want to just buy myself into something that ends up being a modest salary that I have to bust my butt to earn with no potential to grow beyond that. I don’t really know of anyone that has been very successful going this route (although they may be happier, which is a factor too.) but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist, and my sample size is extremely small. Anyways, I guess this is just an invite to see if the hive has any tips/anecdotes/thoughts on success or failure in the franchise world :)

    • Wildkitten

      I’ve only heard terrible things. The parent company makes all the rules, sets it up so they always profit, and you have to try to make it work within their framework.

    • Anon

      Not what you were asking, but have you tried virtual work or looked into consulting? The only knowledge of franchises I have are restaurants, which you are right to avoid.

      • Anon

        Do you mean something like elance or odesk? I’m not really sure how one just goes into consulting (especially since my specific experience is not likely to translate directly to other businesses), although I have looked at freelance sites like the two I mentioned. Seems like an ok way to build up experience and try out some different things but it seems like no one really wants to pay decent wages (based on the few minutes I spent perusing different postings).

        • Anon

          No, nowadays you can have a salaried corporate job and work from home. Many of my coworkers are virtual employees. I’m not sure what field you’re in, but it’s pretty widespread.

          • Brant

            Yes, as an example, I have a team of about 20. Only 4 of them work in one of our company’s many offices. The rest (myself included) are remote. I only care when hiring someone that they live near an airport and can get to a few of our key office locations with relatively straightforward flights (ie not, say, Juno Alaska or Honolulu). My team travels maybe 10x per person per year max.

    • MJ

      Read Entrepreneur’s franchise edition for this. They are a monthly magazine, and they do a franchise issue each year. It’s pretty Ra-Ra (lots of advertising from franchise companies to join up), but there are a few “what I wish I had known” articles. Bear in mind that most franchise require several hundred thousand bucks to buy in, so…unless you’re awash in cash following a layoff (possbile I suppose, if it’s a buyout), you might be better off doing a similar non-franchised business plan.

    • Franchise

      My husband and I are currently looking into buying a franchise – retail. We’re fairly far along in the process and would be willing to go for it if money works out. However, it does sound like a ton of work, and you are beholden to the parent company for a lot – rules, fees, product, etc. We’re not going into it to get rich, just to get out of our current fields.

      I second looking at the Entrepreneur articles. Also, if you know any current owners – or have them in your network – consider talking to them, as candidly as possible, about what life looks like as an owner. We’d never have considered it had we not already had a friend of a friend who owns one store and then in the process have been able to speak freely with other owners. No one’s experience is going to be identical, but it was nice to hear that all the folks we spoke with have had an overall positive time with it. So far, it sounds like the real key to a good relationship with parent company is the amount of support they provide you/degree of investment in your success they have. If they just hand you a book and a kit and leave you alone, I doubt it will be worth your time/money.

      Once you get serious about a company, they’re obligated to give you a disclosure document which will have a lot (A LOT) of financial information as well as a sample of their franchise agreement. This should give you a great amount of information about how things will shake out for you, the individual owner.

      • Lilau

        My Mom and brother recently opened a franchise (resturant bar type), maybe two years ago. They have been successful and it works for them. The whole thing kind of fell into their laps but they decided to go for it upon reviewing the franchise’s success rate and visiting other franchisees. I know you didn’t ask about the food service arena, but I did want to voice that these things can work. Good luck.

    • christineispink

      A good friend of our family owns/manages about 7 locations for two different beauty/spa-type franchises. She’s been very successful but works very hard and did a lot of research into location (foot traffic, other retail store #s nearby, etc.). There definitely are a lot of rules and an annual conference but she also seems pretty independent in some ways (HR and legal decisions are all handled by her). FWIW our friend and her husband were drawn to franchising due to the flexibility they needed with 3 kids’ extracurriculars and travel schedules (all 3 are pretty serious athletes in international competitions and such). They say the biggest headache comes from employee complaints/threats of HR-related suits, etc. And I say successful b/c we’re close enough to see what they buy/wear/where they travel and the sports their kids do are pretty cost-intensive. Perhaps the amount of “control” from the parent may vary by TYPE of franchise?

  9. AEK

    Just wanted to say that I have the featured shoes in black and really like them. I wear them for my commute but they’re formal enough to wear all day if I don’t feel like switching. I can get away with 8.5 in some shoes but I am comfortable in these in a size 9, fwiw.

  10. Baconpancakes

    Loafers – thoughts? I’m kind of taken with the idea of the men’s-style loafers with an otherwise completely feminine biz caz outfit, like pencil skirt, silk blouse, cardigan. It will inevitably stumpify a little, but I think that’s manageable. Anyone have any sharp-looking loafers they can recommend? I’m envisioning black patent leather, but I’m open to suggestions.

    • BMBG

      I love the Bass Wayfarer loafers in black — not patent, but shiny leather.

      • MJ

        I also have Wayfarers–burgundy. They are incredibly classic and look great (and are super-duper waterproof as a bonus). I wear them when I am doing an uber-prep look and it totally works–usually with a navy pinstripe skirt and white shirt and v-neck cashmere sweater. The pair I have is nearly 15 years old, and they look fantastic, still, which is pretty remarkable.

      • nutella

        I have them, too! But I look stumpy in them with a skirt (unless I wear them with opaque black tights), so they are only for pants for me but I l-o-v-e them! So comfortable and I get compliments all the time! I also have more “fun” loafers – purple cole haans and mushroom-colored tods but also wear them with pants.

    • Erisa

      I have been drooling over the Cole Haan patent leather black loafers for a while now, to wear them with exactly the outfit you described. They are on sale.

  11. RZT

    I am an attorney who works mainly as a subject matter expert, but I am interested in moving into a role that involves more management of personnel. Before I start looking in to management positions, I’d like to do some reading about management generally, and try to get an idea, for myself, of what I think my management style might be and what the new kinds of issues are that I’d need to think about as a manager that I don’t currently have to think about as a subject matter expert.

    Does anyone have recommendations for books that they feel have helped them learn to manage? Or books that help beginning managers?

    • MJ

      I really like “Winning” by Jack and Suzy Welch. It’s about their management style, but it’s really compelling, and Jack is often cited as one of the best managers of the 20th century. I gift this book a lot. If you look it up on Amazon, I am sure there’ll be other suggestions.

      Also, even if you are a subject matter expert, think about other times in your life you may have been a leader–school clubs, parent organizations, sports. What type of leader were you then? What type of managers at work do you admire? I think there’s a ton of great learning that you can get by osmosis and real-world larnin, not just book-larning!

      • RZT

        Thanks so much! I will check both of those out. And MJ – I have been trying to do a lot of thinking along the lines of what you suggest, but I thought it might help me to identify more about my ideas/ideals/style if I was looking at my experiences from a “manager’s” point of view.

  12. A Clark

    Does anybody have experience switching from midsized litigation to biglaw transactional work? I’m considering this and would love any stories about your experience (good or bad). TIA!

    • Scully

      That’s quite a jump. Are you very early on in your career and do you have biglaw connections? I’ve seen it happen in groups that have both litigation and transactional work and a specialized skill set (i.e., IP or tax), but the group has to be small and flexible enough to allow you to transition.

    • cbackson

      Do you already have an offer? If you don’t have transactional experience, you will (basically) be a first-year to them, which may involve a salary cut and will involve a lot of pride-swallowing. We’ve done this (on the hiring end) and found that it was tough for the former litigator to adjust to starting at the ground floor again.

      • A Clark

        Thanks both. I’m getting closer to the offer, and was curious if people regretted the switch or if it turned out to be the best thing ever (after those initial year(s) of transitioning and pulling through the grunt work).

  13. Awkward

    Random friend-making question…

    Last year, I met up with a 3L at the law school I attended to tell him about my practice and sort of give an informational interview about my firm (I’m a 2nd year at a biglaw firm). I couldn’t help him much with getting a job at my firm, but we really hit it off at the meeting, and I got the feeling we could be good friends. But I felt like the situation was weird (“I can’t give you a job, but do you want to hang out sometime?”) so we did not really keep in touch. Well, a year later, he has a good job in my practice area and just emailed me to tell me where he’s working and that he wants to get together. Should I be more like “cool, let’s get a drink next week” or like “cordial greetings, shall we meet up at the next meeting of our industry association?” Or somewhere in between? Help me not be awkward! Thanks!

    • anonymous

      I’d probably go with something more casual, but make it coffee instead of a drink in case he does see you as more of a professional contact rather than a friend.

    • MJ

      You’re overthinking! Meet for a drink! (Side note: My best friend’s brother dated and married a woman who asked him for an informational interview…and he’s not skeezy at all. In fact, quite the opposite!). It’ll be fine. You’ll figure out when you’re drinking what wavelength he’s on. Probably more of a thank you–any tips, meeting, but…you never know.

    • Anon

      I think lunch is acceptable too. I do a lot of lunches with other attorneys.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      I’d definitely go with the casual but as previous commenter said, suggest coffee during the workday. Since he emailed you, I don’t think you’d go wrong with a drink but a coffee seems to be the standard for meeting up with sort of acquaintances.

    • AnonLawMom

      Lunch is probably the best first get together. Totally not weird to go to lunch with other attorneys in your area. I do it all the time.

  14. anonymous

    Sizing question- How does the limited’s sizing compare to jcrew or br? Specifically for a curvy girl?

    • A Clark

      I’m a 12P in BR (usually, depends on style) and the12P in the Limited fits similarly.

    • Lonestar Litigator

      Sizing is very similar between the Limited and BR, but be wary of their cuts–they have a lot of cuts that are straight through the thigh that don’t fit me (I am generally a 10R in the Jackson fit of BR). In my experience, JCrew sizes are a little smaller than BR/the Limited.

    • Sydney Bristow

      I’ve noticed their tank tops and sweaters run smaller than J Crew. Everything else is about the same.

  15. Nap time

    Do any of you take naps in your office? I’m having insomnia issues and a 10 minute nap would be such a game changer. If you nap, what do you sleep on? Yoga mat?

    • Anon

      I did at my last workplace. I would shut the door, set an alarm, and lay my head on my desk for 15 minutes. I get migraines and sometimes sleeping (even for 15 minutes) is the only thing that will kick them. I have yet to at my new job (it is a terminable offense, although I think this is more directed towards hourly employees). Technically my door locks and I am primarily left to my own devices so I’m sure I could – I just haven’t felt the need to yet. It is probably a know-your-workplace issue.

    • MissA

      I do the head desk thing and a friend naps under her desk with a blanket and pillow.

    • Clementine

      A coworker of mine has a chronic medical issue that is exacerbated by lack of sleep. This coworker also has infant twins and has gotten through with the help of occasionally ducking out to his car to take a 15-30 minute nap. In my office, sleeping at your desk is only considered acceptable if you’ve been up and working for more than 24 hours but napping in your car is an option.

    • Idea

      When I was pregnant, I’d go to Starbucks and sit in a comfy chair and set my cell phone alarm for 15 minutes later. Even just closing my eyes helped, not sure how much I slept but it helped.so.much.

  16. Anonymous

    I need to vent- I’m about to defend my dissertation prospectus, and I somewhat randomly went to meet a prof at another university who’s “working on something similar.” Turns out “something similar” is my topic exactly, except he’s writing an article, not a book, and will therefore have it done before mine. And there’s literally no way I could have known about this before, as he hasn’t presented this paper or circulated it. Guess who’s looking to amend her project now? *sigh* As if grad school doesn’t suck enough.

    • Anon

      That sucks. But I will say, thank heavens you found out now and not while you were in the middle of Chapter 3. It’s a lot easier to amend a prospectus than an entire draft.

      But still. It sucks. Grad school is the worst.

    • anon prof

      I sympathize. Almost everyone in academia has been there.

      Bright side: you picked a research topic that at least one other (qualified) person believes to be worthwhile. Honestly, I think it’s a good sign when students start picking topics that people have done–it just means it’s a good research question! Also, depending on field/methods, it may not be a dealbreaker. For example, if your approach is sufficiently different (model, methods) it may still be worth pursuing. Most people work on topics that are not completely novel. Have you spoken with your advisor about it yet?

      • Monday

        I thought of that too–often the approach, methods, or emphasis means it’s not really the same project. However, because she said “exactly” the same topic, I assumed the worst.

        But I agree with the others: be glad there’s still time to retool, and discuss with your advisor. I’m sure you will get your hands on the article as soon as you can to assess whether/how to use it, how your work differs, and so on. It’s also a great excuse to suggest a panel presentation with you and this other professor at a relevant national conference, thus drawing an audience interested in the topic.

        It’s going to be ok!

      • Anonymous

        No I haven’t. I’m arranging that now. I was so excited since there actually hasn’t been serious scholarly research on this topic before, so it’s still a disappointment even if this (or a very closely related topic) works out. The question is exactly the same, although the approach is totally different and to some extent the methods are different. I asked him for a draft and he doesn’t have one- he just gave me some outlines they’ve been sending back and forth which is not terribly helpful.

        The most frustrating part is that I’m not planning for an academic career- I just need to finish and be on my way. And this is yet another obstacle.

  17. Blonde Lawyer

    What do you use for electronic redactions that can’t be undone? I’ve been doing it the old fashion way out of an abundance of caution but I know there are some PDF redaction tools that work. What do you all use?

    • (former) preg 3L

      I used to redact in PDF, print it out, then re-scan it. Or just print to PDF from the pdf (which worked for me but I had colleagues who would mess it up).

  18. Parfait

    I’m taking my cancerous cat in for an ultrasound tomorrow, to see whether there are any other growths inside her and whether the one visible one has dug into her bones or lymph nodes. If either are true then there’s no point in pursuing treatment and it’ll just be a matter of keeping her comfortable.

    If not, I get to decide whether I want to spend ~4K on surgery for her. That would be sufficient treatment IF they manage to get it all, which the surgeon seemed quite confident of. If they don’t get it all then I’m back to square one with a cancerous cat and without the money, because there is no way I am putting her through radiation. Not just because of the expense ($340 a pop times 18 treatments) or the scheduling problems (I’d have to take her in every single weekday morning for 3.5 weeks) but because of the suffering. She’d have to be sedated every single time and there’s no way she’d understand why I’m doing this to her.

    I’m leaning toward doing the surgery if the ultrasound looks good, but most of my trusted advisors say I shouldn’t do it, that I should keep that money and just keep her comfortable for what time she has left (only a few months, most likely.) But thinking about that course of action makes me hyperventilate and cry.

    • BB

      I’m very sorry you’re in this position. I don’t really know what I’d do either in this situation. $4K is a big hit, but definitely do-able for me, but it’s hard not knowing if it will work. All I can say is that I wish you the best, and if the worst happens, remember that your kitty may be gone, but she is opening up your home so you can offer a new lease on life to another kitty.

    • AnonInfinity

      I’m so, so sorry this is happening to you and your kitty. I lost a dog to bone cancer several weeks ago, and I’m tearing up writing this now. Only you can know what’s best for you and your cat. My husband and I decided while in a non-emotional state, well in advance, how much we were willing to spend and what we were willing to put our dog through. For us, we did not want to sedate him again, and our monetary threshold was less than $4000. BUT, after he’s passed, I have wondered so many times if we really did all we could. I know we did and that the interventions would not have increased his quality of life, so I’m ok with our decision somewhere inside, but I do still get sad about it.

      I just wanted to say to take good care and be gentle with yourself, no matter what you decide.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Here are some things I would consider. How old is your kitty? How does she do with change/pain? Do you think she will be good with her recovery time? Will you have to give her meds? It can be heartbreaking holding down a pet for ointment/pills if they don’t understand why you are doing it. If she is a generally tolerant cat and vet appointments aren’t torturous for both of you, and she is young enough to have many good years ahead of her, then I would do it.

      If she will be hard to control, keep still, keep safe and medicate, if she is old and something else is going to take her soon anyway, then I wouldn’t put her through it.

      I agree that it is a lot of money and I would fully respect not being able to spend it. Cancer also seems different to me than failing to treat a broken leg or something. There are just so many unknowns.

      I’m sorry you are going through this (and her too)!

    • MegB

      I’m sorry you are going through that and am sending you hugs! I went through a similar situation with my kitty a few years ago and still get teary thinking about it. She was fairly advanced in age (almost 14) and had been with me through a lot. I just couldn’t justify putting her through the pain and trauma of surgery and treatment and when she was no longer comfortable, I put her to sleep. My vet was super great, actually came to my house and she went to sleep in her own bed while I was petting her. I just wouldn’t put her through it but everyone is different. I’m sorry you have to face this hard choice!

    • Sad cats

      I responded to your post the other day, but I was very late to the thread so I’m not sure if you saw it. I was in a similar position faced with $5k surgery for my fairly young cat about a year ago. The vet gave us a 95% chance of success. We were in the unlucky 5%. We then elected to “redo” the surgery (only another $500 at that point), which was also unsuccessful. Ultimately, we had to euthanize our now-very-expensive cat. Some days, I like to think that I sleep easier at night knowing that we tried everything we could, but I mostly really regret the decision to spend the money and put her through all that when all it did was prolong her suffering. If the surgery had been successful and she’d lived 10 more years, I would have been thrilled, but I may still have regretted spending that money. In retrospect, we should have thought more with our heads than our hearts… but that largely depends on your financial situation. My husband and I now have agreed on a cap on vet bills that’s a lot less.

      On a somewhat side note, we had to put our other, much older cat down about 6 months later. Her kidneys had failed and in that case, it was very clear cut that she was not going to get better and there were no treatment options. The combination of her being old and obviously uncomfortable, and being told by the vet that there was nothing we could do made that euthanasia decision so much less heartbreaking. So while I don’t wish bad news on you, if you do get bad news tomorrow, it might be a blessing in disguise.

      Huge hugs to you, it’s a terrible situation to be in. Like MegB, we opted for in-home euthanasia (in both cases) and the vet put our cats to sleep in their favorite spots. I would absolutely recommend looking into home visit vets if you decide to go that route. Aside from it just being a lot less stressful for your cat – especially if she hates her carrier like mine did, I don’t know how I would have even driven myself home afterward, honestly. Being able to flop straight on my bed and ugly-cry afterward was much better.

  19. Anonymous

    I know this is late in the day, but can someone point me to rules that govern rules regarding fund raising by an informal social group like a moms playgroup?

    Thanks in advance!

      • Anonymous

        No taxes if possible. It’s a playgroup of neighborhood moms. We meet at parks and stuff. Our expense is the fees for meet up site. That’s it. Someone is proposing fundraising via eating at a restaurant and the restaurant will give is 15% of our bill. I am not sure how the state laws (iL) look at such fundraising.

        • CountC

          Call your state department of revenue and ask. When I was practicing law, I would call the corporations bureau and the department of revenue for things like this and I found them to be fairly helpful. YMMV though.

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions