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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I'm not usually a fan of wearing a shell by itself beneath suits (I always feel like I can keep drycleaning costs down by wearing sleeves), but with a simple shell this pretty I might consider it — it's also, of course, a great layering piece beneath cardigans. I like the fact that it's so simple and pretty, as well as the fact that it comes in a zillion colors and is so highly rated on the NY & Co. site. It's normally $30, but today it's $15. New York & Company Mixed-Fabric Pleated Shell
Here's a option in plus sizes.
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
(L-3)
Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
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- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
This is pretty! The Limited has been my go-to for cheap, cute shells but I might have to check out NY&Co.
Has anyone gotten a humidifier for their office? I’ve heard of space heaters but not humidifiers…
I recently started a new job and since starting, my throat has been constantly sore and dry and my skin feels very dry too. I’ve upped my water intake with no results. At first I thought I was getting sick or had pollen allergies, but it’s been a couple months and I have no further symptoms but the symptoms I have have not improved. The timing is very keyed to starting my new job and my home & pet situation have remained the same so I think it’s unlikely to be an allergy to anything else. I think the air in my office may be incredibly dry & a humidifier might help.
KateMiddletown
That’s a great idea. Target has those adorable cube-shaped ones that are about the size of a tissue box. I’ve searched Apt. Therapy for good brands for home, too.
Bonnie
Yes, and it has made a huge difference. I have the Air-O-Swiss travel humidifier.
MJ
I have, and you want to make sure you get a decent one, or else it will just get everything wet. Definitely check Amazon and the like for real reviews before you buy. It does help.
Emma
What is your favorite deodorant? I really hate when the deodorant ends up leaving a weird, sickly sweet smell on my clothes at the end of the day. I also can’t stand white marks. I suppose I just haven’t found the right one, out of the litany of products out there.
Any recs?
tesyaa
My favorite drugstore brand is Dry Idea (unscented) roll-on. It’s less sticky than other roll-ons and (obviously) unscented.
Anon
Another Dry Idea fan, but I get the unscented clear gel.
An
Fa, by Henkel. It is citrus-y and no white stains.
NYNY
I swear by Tom’s Calendula deodorant stick. The scent is light and clean and it goes on clear.
Katiee
Also Tom’s of Maine, but I use the lavender. I used to use Dove, which is great for preventing itchiness, but I always got yellowish stains on my shirts in the underarm area.
NytoCO
Does Tom’s of Maine prevent that? That is at the top of my “if I could change anything” list. I don’t buy white shirts that cost more than $30 because of it.
KateMiddletown
Secret – the one that is a clear gel and comes out in little individual tubes not one big stick (make sense?) during the summer/sweaty times and Tom’s lavender during winter/weekends when I don’t care if I stink a bit.
lost academic
I like Dove. I used to use Secret unscented, but I like the solid Dove much more than gels. It CAN leave very minor whiteness on some shirts but it has never stained and it doesn’t come off skin easily.
Anonymous
Degree. [I love it and will never change.]
It may leave some whitemarks on black items, but they easily wipe off with a damp washcloth (handy if I’m getting ready at home). DOESN’T leave white marks on my black sleeveless sheath arm holes, so that is some magic physics (and I can rewear w/o having to take to the cleaners or try to scrape / wipe off).
tesyaa
baby wipes are great for wiping marks out too
Suburban
Weleda (sp?) wild rose. It’s clear, alcohol based spray. Love the scent ( but it is for sure a scent) and no build-up. Stings like hell after you’ve just shaved your underarms. I really love the stuff.
Diana Barry
I use men’s Old Spice – the blue/clear kind (gel?) in “Fresh” or something. I have tried a lot of women’s kinds and the men’s kinds seem to work better on me.
CountC
Meow, Meow, Tweet, Tweet’s deodorant creams. Vegan and cruelty free also!
Anon0321
Mitchum power gel- shower scent. I sweat ALOT and hate perfume scents. Have never had a problem w white streaks w it. I used to use secret’s super strength formula about 10 yrs ago, but I think this is wayyyyy better.
jlg
I thought I was the only one who got that sickly-sweet smell. Is that from the deodorant? I find it is way worse when I wear anything with a significant level of polyester in it, but I haven’t fully figured this out. Is it the fabric? The deodorant (I use a Dove solid deodorant/antiperspirant)? Body chemistry? The combo of all 3? I hate this b/c it means I mostly avoid any blouse that is poly, which restricts a lot of the more affordable options. I’d love to hear any solutions!
Anon0321
I think some polys make it way worse- for some reason I get the smell only under my left armpit- and this has happened for years! I think it’s prob a mix of sweat, fake material not letting the area air out, whatever other scented things you are wearing & hormones.
Also notice that it gets worse if I get lax on shaving as the hair kinda seems to keep the scent.
Emma
I switched from poly cardigans to silk/cotton blend, and now I can go so much longer between washing! But there is still a hint of that smell sometimes, and I hate it!! It happens even when I don’t sweat, but maybe it’s just the way your armpits stay covered up.
I don’t know, but I wish science would devote more attention to these issues!
anon
Best tips to stay motivated? I have so much work to do but I’m just so easily distracted by….. everything.
samesies
when i’m feeling too distracted to complete the pile of work waiting for me, I plan something for the end of the day that would require me to leave right at 5. For example, i’ll pay for a yoga class, or make plans to meet up with a friend for happy hour, something that i’m looking forward to, and will have to cancel if I don’t finish my work.
KateMiddletown
Someone suggested a plug-in on Chrome to keep you off certain web pages like… this one. I used it for a minute then de-installed it b/c I have no willpower. I like setting a timer. Even if you don’t get a task done by the time the timer goes off, it’s a reminder that time is passing quickly.
lost academic
It helps me to break work, even when there’s a lot of it, into whatever size/time chunk means you can feel accomplished (even a tiny bit) as you move to the next project/task. I find myself most efficient when I have a certain number of projects I can easily cycle through this way, keeping productive and feeling good about it.
Cat
Ideas:
Just start SOMETHING. Pick a task that will take 10 minutes or less to complete to get the ball rolling – like the debt snowball theory others have mentioned in the past.
Remind yourself that you’re stuck at your desk today whether you accomplish your to-do list or not, and that if you’re stuck inside this weekend doing work to catch up, it’s your own fault entirely.
Think of yourself on Saturday afternoon and you want to go watch college football, but instead you’re forced to mess around online for 3 hours – because effectively you’re stealing time from your weekend now.
kc esq
Instead of making a to do list, make a schedule: “Project A outline, 10 – 11:30; break, 11:30-11:45; Project B email follow-up, 11:45-12.” Even if you get interrupted and pulled off your schedule, it’s a more targeting goal that a regular task list.
Anon0321
I’m the opposite of a procrastinator, so I like to do the thing I’m dreading most first. Once I get that out of the way, everything else seems to just flow better.
Anonymous
I find I get distracted unless I have eliminated all internal stress. Since I do not take pills, I bring a portable vibrator with me, and use it. Once I’ve achieved calm, I can stay focused for longer periods. You should try it!
Legal career change
I’m a long-time lurker who is trying to figure out whether to change the focus of my legal career. I have always been a litigator in a niche field (which I love), but the hours are long (even in house). I’m constantly stressed out, and I don’t want to live this way when DH and I start a family. I’m considering a couple of career changes: switching to transactional, switching from a specialist to a generalist position, and leaving the practice of law altogether (my current specialty would allow me to do this fairly easily). Has anyone made any of these changes? What prompted you to make the change? If you made the change, do you regret it? Also, is transactional work (excluding M&A and big deals in general) less stressful than litigation? TIA!
Cat
I’ll comment on transactional stress. In a way it is less stressful than litigation, because although certain topics can be contentious to negotiate and obviously both parties want to walk away feeling like they made a good bargain, the parties’ goal is completing the deal – not just fighting each other.** Plus, if a deal generates mountains of paperwork, it’s generally because it’s a complicated deal and all that paper actually ends up in the agreement, rather than just burying the other side with sh*t to deal with. There can certainly be obstructionist a**holes on the other side of a deal, but the lawyers tend to play more nicely, because their business clients want to reach an agreement – so if you’re a completely risk-averse blocker, you aren’t viewed as a successful attorney.
**M&A can feel more like litigation, attitude-wise, particularly if it’s an unfriendly deal.
That said, transactional work can be a little less predictable schedule-wise — you don’t have an externally imposed timeline to adhere to, so if the SVP suddenly decides he wants a deal done this month, you’d better jump and play along so the lawyers are not the hold-up. Or, the other side sits on a mark-up for two weeks prior to turning it back, and then your business lead wants a full analysis of the issues immediately.
MJ
I would not clarify transactional as less stressful…Just different. And I think with children, it can be way more difficult to keep a schedule. Bombs drop with little warning. So I wouldn’t necessarily think that transactional means grass is greener. I would agree that M&A is probably the worst of transactional, but in-house, pretty much anything corporate that an exec or business unit wants can be an emergency too–stock options, etc. I do agree that there’s more of a “working toward the same thing.”
MJ
*classify. Gah, been a long week.
Senior partner (litigation)
It’s pretty normal for female litigators to feel this panic before they start having kids (or in the first couple of years after) because it’s pretty hard to imagine how you will handle it all. And you are NOT wrong – it’s pretty nightmarish. But it is doable, and until you have done it, you won’t really know how you feel about it. Totally changing career areas before even trying strikes me as potentially too dramatic and would waste the skills and seniority you have worked hard to build. Think about trying your job for a while with a kid before you change. Think about a smaller adjustment – changing to another firm, or in-house. (I did, and it made a huge difference, even though I wasn’t sure it would). Also, often, people who feel a lot of work stress are, well, just people who are going to feel a lot of work stress in any job they would find interesting. Just be careful you are being realistic about the alternatives and not overreacting . Your fears are normal, but find some more senior women who have been there to talk to about them, if you can.
Anonymous
In the same boat, so no real advice but curious about the answers. Are you a patent litigator by any chance? I feel like that’s especially crazy even compared to the typical craziness of litigation. I know women who have made partner while having kids in my field and am absolutely in awe of them. I can barely take care of my childless self and don’t get nearly enough sleep as is. I don’t know how adding a child would work at all.
DCist
DH is a patent litigator and the schedule and stress has been too much for him and our family (we have a one year old). He has pretty much not been around all year to take care of or even play with our baby. I think he is tired of the constant conflict and what he calls unnecessary/inefficient work. It seems like that is the nature of patent litigation and allows firms to bill more hours. When he is pulling all-nighters, he is often doing them alongside more senior people, so it is not as though this lifestyle has an end in sight. Even the lull periods are stressful, bc of the uncertainty of when a case will drop in his lap. He is starting to poke around to see what his options are, in house, government, or generalist.
So, all this is to say that I am listening to this thread carefully to learn from your experiences.
Anon0321
Hubs is also a patent litigator & is trying to switch. He is at a point in his firm (& we are at a point in our savings/loan payments) that we thought this was a risk worth taking. He asked around to see if this was something his big law firm would be open to & finally made the big ask late last week– so we are waiting to see if they will accept (fingers crossed!). He is very risk averse, and although this is something he has been wanting to do for a long time, he finally took the chance & asked- so far no planets have exploded.
I on the other hand, am totally for jumping in the deep end with changes. I went from law to regulatory– and I LOVE IT. I def don’t make as much as my husband in big law, but I still make more than most people (about $130k/yr with amazing benefits). My life is fairly stress free, my hrs are very stable and I have a wonderful amount of flexibility (I get every other Fri off & my boss is cool with me working from home whenever).
Sharpie
I’m curious, what type of regulatory work do you do? This sounds like my dream job!
Anon0321
I work for a private & very large utility company. Totally not what I expected I’d be doing after law school & I took a pretty crazy road to get here (I had a hard time finding work after law school and had several years of thinking I’d always be a failure & suck at everything… but somehow it all brought me to this & I’m very happy!). I also like that I could probably jump into other regulatory fields without too much of a hassle (I keep my eyes on the Aetna jobs a lot because they all seem to be work remotely friendly).
Wildkitten
When is the next major Nordstrom sale?
KateMiddletown
Just googled this and was accosted w/ Black Friday mentions. Too soon people. But here: http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/frequently-asked-questions?origin=leftnav#anchor-link-sale-events Looks like they’re switching up policies, though, and they’re definitely moving items to sale all the time.
Cat
PSA – Brooks Brothers is having a nice sale – I just scooped up three pairs of Red Fleece pants for $50 each – and two of them are machine washable! I take my same JCrew size for Red Fleece stuff.
KateMiddletown
Does anyone have a cork board or similar in their office? I need a place to put a couple of go-to docs and reminders, but the look of our offices is definitely more traditional and design-y. Part of my office decorating scheme that is currently distracting me from continuing ed studies.
Anonymous
I am so tragic that I just tape things to the wall behind my computer.
Real life lawyers < TV lawyers.
Anonymous
Similar–I use pushpins directly in the wall. I asked for a cork board maybe 9 months ago and still haven’t received it, so the firm can deal with holes in their leased walls.
lawsuited
I had a nice-looking magnetic whiteboard (with an espresso wood frame), so I could stick key documents to it with magnets and write a few reminders on it, but the look fit into our traditional law office better than a cork board.
Anon
I have a cork board in my office. It has a decent looking frame around it and I use it for things I need to reference often (and a post card from one of the cities we went to on our honeymoon.)
AIMS
I have one that came with my office. Can you do something very simple like this:
http://www.containerstore.com/s/natural-cork-boards/d?productId=10000400&q=board
Lyssa
I’m attending a surprise party at a “dueling piano bar” next week, and am torn on what to wear. I’m very excited about getting to go out in something that is neither mom nor lawyer-friendly (no matter what, I will rock sky-high heels), but I’m not sure whether to go with a dress or nice jeans and a cute top (and if jeans, skinny jeans that barely fit as I’ve still got a few post-pregnancy pounds to lose or trouser jeans? There’s a good chance that either will still require a bella band.)
The bar’s facebook page makes it look pretty casual (it was advertising things like dollar drafts), and I know that the person hosting the party is rarely dressed up. Weather’s likely to be moderate enough that open-toed shoes, a sleeveless top with a light jacket, and possibly even bare legs would probably be fine.
lost academic
I’d go with the jeans and a nice top.
anon
This. In my experience dueling piano bars can be high energy and a lot of fun.
CountC
Yes, super fun! Jeans and a cute top all the way.
Anonymous
Having been to quite a few dueling piano bars (they’re so fun!) I’d go with the jeans and a cute top. They tend to be pretty casual.
Cat
Jeans + top for sure. Also, you know your own heels tolerance… but I’d go with s*xy pointed toe flats (the lace-up kind that’s trendy this year?) for a party with lots of standing and dancing!
Anonymous
Jeans and top. And skinny jeans! Trouser jeans are neither sexy nor fun. Enjoy!
TO Lawyer
+1 – definitely skinny jeans!
TO Lawyer
I would definitely go with jeans, especially if you want to wear heels. Dress and heels can look too formal and out of place at a casual bar
NYC tech
Skinny jeans! And I vote for going to grab a new pair that fits comfortably, if it’s in your budget. Even a pretty cheap pair, since it’s likely to be dark and people won’t see the details. Then you can be comfortable AND sexy.
Anonymous
Yes! Just say no to the Bella band.
Lyssa
Oh, no, I will definitely need the Band for the skinny jeans. :)
Cat
Halloween candy question. This is our first year where we’ll have trick or treaters (having moved from a almost-no-kids apartment building to a rowhouse in a family friendly neighborhood). I’m enough tuned-in to child diet issues to know to have some candy that is not chocolate and candy that doesn’t have peanuts in it. So, I am planning to grab some bags at CVS that have a medley of Starburst, Snickers, plain M&M’s, and something else – maybe Reeses. Would your kids be happy at my house?
AIMS
If you’re trying to avoid peanuts, don’t do Reese’s. If it’s just to have on hand for the non-peanut sensitive, never mind.
I think you have a good mix. But my favorite thing to get as a trick or treater was always the mini sized versions of candy bars – snickers, mars bar, whatever. Some people gave out full size and that was like the holy grail, but I don’t think you need to go that far out.
Anon
I have been handing out candy for years and literally never had a dietary issue come up. I’m sure kids have come to my house who had them, and we usually have a ridiculous selection, but they certainly never told me if they did. I wouldn’t overthink this. I’m sure they will get plenty of candy and their parents will pull out anything they can’t eat.
Lyssa
I’ve never had it come up, either. But my thinking would be that the chocolate and nut candies are usually the most desirable, so if you give those to a kid who can’t have it, s/he will be able to trade them away with other kids for something else pretty easily.
Katiee
My niece has a peanut allergy, and she can eat Hershey’s milk chocolate bars.
Katiee
She also knows what she can and can’t eat. Her parents handled the trick or treat issue by letting her go with her friends, and later substituting safe treats for the things she got that she can’t eat. They would appreciate your awareness and desire to provide something safe for kids with allergies!
Bonnie
We always get an assortment and let the kids pick a set number of pieces. Parents of kids with severe allergies will look through the candy before letting the child eat it.
Anon0321
I read an article the other day that said to paint a pumpkin purple/violet and put it at your door if you have candy that is good for sensitivities – not sure if this is actually a real thing or s Pinterest thing- but you might want to look into it if you want to let parents know. :)
I tend to agree that if I had a kid w food problems, I’d let them trick or treat then swap it out when they got home (all the peanuts for meeeee!).
AnonInfinity
The article I saw said to paint the pumpkin teal, so maybe it is not real :(
Brit
The article I read said teal as well, but I think the larger point was to show that sometimes you have a “special” pumpkin, so violet or teal would work.
Anon0321
You guys could be right about the color- I didn’t double check before I posted.
Anonymous
I thought it was teal?
anne-on
As a parent of a kid with dairy allergies, and a neighbor who has nut allergies, our solution has been to grab a bag of the mixed Swedish fish/sour patch kid bags. Sour patch kids or the super sour airhead things are always a big hit. I always swap out candy on my own for my kid, but I’ve gotten appreciative comments from moms of kids with other allergies over having a gummy candy/lollipop option.
Cat
Thanks guys! I am reassured.
Anon
I’d just get candy that you like. I have never had a long enough convo w a kid trick-or-treating to discern their personal allergies. Usually it’s a mob of kids and you toss candy at them. Up to their parents to go through their bags later and sort it out. You’re overthinking this one.
Anon
Mom of an allergy child here. You could just throw candy at the kids for parents to sort out later, but it’s really really appreciated by those of us trying to navigate a safe (I.e., no death traps) path for our children when people make us feel welcome with allergy free food on allergy dangerous occasions.
anon99
Threadjack – I’m going to the Philadelphia Bench Bar Conference in Atlantic City for the first time. The confirmation e-mail says “business casual.” Has anyone been & what do women attorneys wear to this event?
Wildkitten
Never been but I’d wear separates or dress + jacket, one step below a suit.
Cubicle bound
Any tips for folks who have moved from a closed door office to an open-concept cubicle environment? I have had a proper office for well over a decade, and am moving into a different space soon. I prefer a quiet working environment, but well, we don’t always get want we want. TIA!
Veronica Mars
Headphones. And you can also use adblock to make pages look less like you’re goofing off. So I blocked the GIANT corporette banner and all of the images (you can block the img src elements) so if someone walks by, it doesn’t scream I’M SHOPPING RIGHT NOW!
Anon0321
Oh good to know about the ad blocker! I put up some stuff on a book shelf behind me to give me more privacy- a plant and a painting, some other things w height. You actually get used to it pretty quickly but I’m fairly good at zoning distractions out.
Anon0321
Oh and you can buy privacy screens to cover your computer- I’m not a huge fan because I think they might trigger my migraines, but lots of people at my work have them.
CountC
Buy noise reducing head-phones. I miss having an office so, so much. I am in the corner of our floor, but I am next to customer service and some other loud folks. My company is moving to a scheme where no one below a director level has an office. Most people hate it and this week in particular, it has been VERY hard to get work done because of the noise level.
POSITA
Any suggestions for a short 4 day vacation at the end of January? I’ll be about 24 weeks pregnant and we’d like to get away without our two yo for a few days before our progeny double. It will be our first time leaving our toddler and our first vacation in about 2.5 years. I’d love for it to be really great. I was puking from morning sickness on our last vacation, so it kind of stunk.
Safe food and water is a must. We’re not really beach people, but would consider a resort if there is other stuff to do or see. (I won’t be able to do action sports, so other stuff.) We’ll be leaving from the East Coast.
Thanks!
NYC tech
If you don’t like beaches, what do you like, in terms of weather, activities, etc?
POSITA
In the past we’ve done a lot of adventure travel–camel safaris in India, backpacking across Serbia and Romania, treking in Costa Rica or Peru. I won’t be up for anything like that at 24 weeks, so I’m a bit at a loss. Interesting architecture, food and history would be good start. Maybe short walks to waterfalls or vistas? We like to wander and explore.
We thought about somewhere like Dublin, but it will be too cold. I don’t know much about the Carribean, but it may be an option.
NYC tech
Sounds like Puerto Rico could be a good option for you. Safe food & water, lots of interesting cultural stuff and sightseeing, nice beaches, and a highly developed tourist infrastructure. Plus no passports or changing money.
Ems
Barcelona! Lots of fun walking (or riding the bus), things to see, yummy food… Don’t know much about the weather though.
AIMS
I like going to Florida in January/February. It’s easy, a super quick plane ride from NY, and you have different options for what to do if you don’t want to just lie on the beach. You could go to Miami, West Palm, Naples, the Keys … whatever suits your fancy. Safe food and water will not be an issue, and you’ll be near lots of hospitals should something arise.
AIMS
PS: I’m not really a beach person either, and I always find that a 3-5 day trip to FL in the winter is just the thing I need to recharge.
POSITA
Unfortunately we have family in Florida that would hijack the trip, so we need to stay out of Florida. But thanks!
Anonymous
Given your concerns about safe food & water and not being a big beach person, I’d stay in the US and go to one of the US cities in the southeast. If you like food, NOLA and Charleston are great. I’ve heard great things about Savannah and Asheville, and the latter can be combined with Great Smokey Mountain National Park if you like natural scenery.
Anon0321
A fiend did a babymoon in savannah in February and it looked lovely.
I would also recommend CA, but it’s my favorite state so I’m biased. :) when I was preg my SIL got me a spa package at a hotel in Calistoga for my bday and it was wonderful.
Also on my list of cities to visit are Austin and Nashville – not sure how the weather would be but I assume decent.
Nashvillian
Visit Nashville, but not in January if you can help it. The weather is pretty dreary and while there are plenty of indoor things to see and good restaurants, your visit will be enhanced greatly if you come in the spring or fall.
Anonymous
Montreal or Quebec City, if you can handle the cold. Charleston or New Orleans if you can’t.
Tetra
New Orleans or San Francisco are two great sight-seeing cities with great food, and the weather won’t be too bad in January in either place.
Anonymous
Bermuda? Won’t be super warm, so you won’t even be tempted by the beach, but it’s a lovely island.
SC
I’m partial because I live here, but New Orleans really is great at this time of year. It has interesting architecture, lots of history (including an amazing WWII museum), and great food. The weather is typically pretty mild in January, and even if it’s chilly, there won’t be ice and snow to contend with. It’s not exactly adventure travel, but if you want to do something fun outside the city, there are airboat swamp tours, a national park with good but mild walks, and tours of creole plantations (some of which are more historically accurate than others) within an hour or two of the city. And Nola is a pretty short flight from the east coast.
Anonymous
I would go to Iceland. Visit the blue lagoon (if that is something pregnant women can do?) and other hot springs, see the northern lights, wander around Reykjavik. It will be cold, but not super cold.
Anonymous
Sadly a preg friend of mine who went to Iceland was told by her doctor not to do Blue Lagoon and I don’t think Iceland’s worth doing if you can’t do that!
NICU RN
I hope you have a wonderful holiday, wherever you go. One thing to consider is that at 24 weeks, if you go into preterm labor, you’ll have HUGE hospital costs in whatever country that you go to. Make sure you and your baby are covered by any insurance you get. I speak from experience… we’ve had many international babies in our NICU from mothers travelling and not even considering preterm labor. The costs end up being astronomical if insurance doesn’t cover it. I don’t want to tell you not to go travelling, but consider where you are going, and that the unexpected can and does happen more often than we think.
Ellen
Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s and this $15 shell. I could wear it to work on a Friday, but b/c this is kind of sheer, I am afreaid that Frank would be stareing at my boobie’s.
Wordy
PSA: Boden has an extra 15% off its mid-season sale — not sure if just today. Was getting a sweater and a top anyway, so that was a nice surprise.
anon
Job application question – when someone asks for a “recent” writing sample, what kind of cutoff are we talking? I have some good samples that are 2-3 years old, and some okay samples that are from within the past year, but I’m not sure if 3 years would be considered too stale.
Anonymous
I’ve always interpreted the “recent” in that phrase as more of a guideline for you than them. I don’t really think they care if it’s stale, but if you’re a 6th year and you give them a 1st year writing sample, it presumably won’t accurately reflect your current skill set. So long as you feel confident that the writing sample reflects your writing ability I wouldn’t worry about it being three years old.
NYC tech
+1 Recent as in “reflects your current skill set”. I wouldn’t care what calendar year it was.
Jennie
I have some firm interviews coming up for after my clerkship ends. For the last few months, my go to when I need a suit is a black suit dress and matching blazer. It’s very plain, boring, conservative, etc. I usually dress it up with a statement necklace. I find it much more comfortable than a skirt suit, but that is probably because I don’t have a skirt suit I love right now since gaining some weight. Would the dress suit be ok with black pumps? Or should I go the tradition skirt suit ((in which case I would buy one that I feel comfortable in)). What would you wear?
Wanderlust
I think this sounds totally appropriate.
New Anon
Dress suit 100%. Totally appropriate and you already own/feel comfortable in it. Honestly, I think it can be a little easier to look/stay polished in a dress suit: no worries about a blouse coming untucked, weird collar interactions, etc.
suits
I think this simple combination, with carefully picked jewelry is not only appropriate, but very chic.
Am wearing this outfit today
With a pretty scarf instead of a statement necklace because it is cool here, and also I don’t like all black right near my face.
Totally appropropriate (I’d wear jewellery instead of a scarf for an intereview though)..
2 Cents
How have I not realized that NY&Co. has extended sizes for some items? Plus-size clothing win!
Anon0321
What would you do to prepare for a c section? I might be having one today (or if not today very soon).
Kinda freaking out and want to make myself as prepared or comfortable as possible.
mascot
Have a discussion with your spouse/partner about if they stay with you or the baby if there is a need to send baby to another room/nursery. Not a c-section, but our baby had to go to the nursery for observation so I’m glad my husband didn’t feel like he was abandoning me to accompany the baby. Good luck!
Anon0321
Good suggestion, thanks! The baby will prob be spending some time in NICU, so that is a good convo for us to have.
Clementine
It sounds like this wasn’t your plan and I’m sorry to hear that, but CONGRATULATIONS! You are going to have a beautiful baby today!
Talk to your provider. Ask questions. Have your partner ask questions. Ask what you should expect. Ask what you can and can’t do. In most cases, your partner can come in the room with you and hold your hand. If smells bother them, get some Vick’s to put under their nose under their masks to mask any smells. It will likely be very bright in the room so just know that it will be like that.
Ask your doctor and/or the nurses and medical staff what your options will be once the baby is born. Some questions I might ask would be can I go skin to skin while in the delivery room? Is it possible for my partner to go skin to skin if I am not able to? Can I meet with a lactation consulatant (if you’d like to nurse) or schedule a meeting with them later in the day?
Keep us posted!
MSJ
I was nervous about my c-section but 1) scheduled c-section is way better than emergency and 2) I was super uncomfortable so just happy to be not pregnant any more. Try to relax as best you can and get a sense of hospital policy to see if they’ll let you have skin to skin immediately, if that’s way you want. The surgery itself really wasn’t bad. Spinal blocks are wonderful things. Afterwards, stay on top of your pain meds and take lots of Colace.
Good luck!
Anonymous
Oh yes….drink a ton of fluids and take Colace. If you still can’t go number 2, sometimes they’ll give you a mixture of coffee, prune juice, and butter (which works!).
Anonymous
Along this line…get someone to buy Tufts pads which will help with the discomfort with going.
Anon0321
Thanks! I’m not disappointed in terms of v birth v. c-section (I was born via C, and have a very close relationship w/ my mother & never thought twice that this might be an issue in terms of connection– although I do wish I could give the baby the health benefits of a v birth– but honestly, in our situation, the benefits of a c section greatly outweigh the risk of a v-birth)… in our case, we have a c-section scheduled for late Oct, but I’m going in for daily monitoring & the dr said be ready to go at any time (& was kinda freaking me out about coming in today because he “had a gut feeling”).
Our hospital is good at family oriented c-sections, so my hubs will be holding my hand & skin to skin contact will be available, baby’s health permitting.
I’m more scared about having a major surgery & the recovery and what I can do to make it smoother. I did a lot of last minute overnight amazon purchases yesterday & I bought an abdomen binder for support & also stocked up on some prunes and have been munching on them the last couple of days.
I’m also worried about b-feeding and not closing the door on that if at all possible (although obviously will go the formula/mixed route if necessary).
I’m also super emotional lately- I keep crying (out of happiness & fear) which…. blah.
Anon S
Anon-321 – do you work out? I only ask b/c I’m telling you my recovery was a BREEZE and it might have been b/c I worked out throughout my pregnancy? Not sure. I also know women who didn’t work out and they had great recoveries too. For what it’s worth, my daughter will be 6 months on Monday and she has been exclusively breast fed – never had anything but mama’s milk. Really dont think c section will impact breast feeding – when they give baby to you, just keep her to your breast as much as possible. I’m sure you know all of that though (or if not, happy to talk anytime about breast feeding, I seriously love it)
YouCanDoIt!
If breast feeding is important to you, you can do it! I have had 2 Cs, and nursed/pumped for each child for an extended time. Loved it, and didn’t feel like the Cs impacted my ability to nurse immediately after birth (the first C was unplanned, the second was not).
Anon
+1. Had a C for my second and had no trouble BFing. She was IUGR/SGA and I was ready to have trouble, but she was a hungry little girl who had no trouble latching.
Anon0321
No :( I wish I was more fit because I know that can help (esp having strong leg muscles to compensate for not being able to use your core). 1st & 2nd trimester I walked about an hr a day in the evening, but now I’m on light bed rest & even walking a block tires me out to the point of requiring a 4 hr nap. But, I also didn’t gain weight during the pregnancy– so while that was an awful thing to happen during the pregnancy, I’m hoping it might help with some of the strains of recovery.
Good to hear about b-feeding, gives me hope!
Eager Beaver
I had a c-section at 37 weeks, and breastfeeding was difficult in the beginning. I don’t know that this had anything to do with the c-section. I suspect being early and very small was a larger factor. Working with a lactation consultant was a godsend. By about 3 weeks baby and I both had the hang of things and nursed successfully for a year.
I loved these: http://www.amazon.com/Lansinoh-Soothies-Gel-Pads-Count/dp/B002KGHUL4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1444409951&sr=8-2&keywords=gel+pads, and I wish I had them on hand when we came home from the hospital.
WestCoast Lawyer
Congratulations! Try not to worry. I know some people who have had difficult c-section recoveries but both of mine were a breeze (some soreness for the first few days, no more than a week, and I have to imagine I would have had roughly the same recovery time from a v-birth).
There’s also nothing specific I can point to either that would explain why I had it easy while others have had it harder. First was unscheduled – not exactly an emergency but definitely not planned or scheduled. The second was scheduled. I didn’t work out before or during my pregnancy and didn’t make any special preparations for the c-sections, but had no complications at all.
I also don’t see any reason breastfeeding would be a problem. From what I’ve read I think my milk came in pretty normally and although I had some minor issues with pain/latching, I don’t think they were in any way due to the c-sections.
Anonattorney
+1 for colace and Tucks pads. Make sure you have colace at home and keep taking it for about 2-3 weeks. I stopped taking it too soon and had some trouble. Very very painful trouble that required a visit to the doc.
Anonymous
You might get the shakes from the medicine/surgery. It helps if you know it ahead of time so you aren’t totally freaked out when it happens.
Anon
+1 I did. Also, if you’re squeamish, tell the surgeon not to narrate the surgery (“ok, we’re starting the incision now…”). They started talking and I was like please no, and they immediately switched to medical jargon and shorthand I didn’t understand, which was so much better. I did not want to know when they were moving around inside me.
Also decide if you’re ok with your husband looking in the other side of the barrier during the surgery at your innards.
Anonymous
A friend saw the whole thing go down in the reflection off of the lights. I think I’d watch, too. [OTOH, I pushed mine out and refused the mirror option b/c I did not want to either see myself pooping or ripping open (somewhat afraid that seeing that would make me not push at all anymore).]
Anon S
^Oh yeah I also did NOT want to know anything that was going on down there. I told my husband to look me in the eye and talk to me about anything else to distract me b/c I am very squeamish
Anon0321
Good call- I can’t even watch the videos they made us watch in our birthing classes (I closed my eyes & told my husband to tell me when it was over)! The baby’s going to get out either way… I don’t need to see it rip its way out in the most graphic way possible! I know this is SUCH an individual thing- my SIL felt comforted by watching all the videos & knowing everything that could happen.
WestCoast Lawyer
Yes! I forgot about this but it made me really nervous the first time. In my mind I was shaking so violently they wouldn’t be able to cut straight, but the anesthesiologist assured me it was perfectly normal. Also, if you find that you are really anxious, they can give you just a bit of gas to calm you down. Not enough to make you groggy or not feel present, but it really helped.
Wildkitten
Congratulations!
Anon0321
Thanks! Very excited to meet the baby that’s been floating inside of me most of 2015!
Anon
I had a non emergency c section (i.e. carefully done, good incision, no complications, went well) after my baby breached herself at 36w and refused to budge. Get a shower stool (the geriatric supply kind) because I couldn’t stand more than a moment or two for a couple weeks. Also, a shower head with a hose would be helpful. My bellefit corset was also surprisingly helpful because it provided support for my destroyed core muscles, and the pressure helped the pain.
If your house has stairs, you won’t be able to use them for days/weeks so you need to make yourself comfortable on just one floor – do you need a mini fridge someone else can stock? Bed tray. Chux pads.
kc esq
Post c-section, I was able to climb stairs with extreme restrictions. So I went upstairs to bed at night and came down in the morning, then spent the rest of the day downstairs.
Anon0321
Unfortunately, we live on a 2nd floor walk up. :(
I was hoping my husband could split up his 4 week paternity leave for the birth & then to give us some time to visit family around holidays but no stairs & no driving will definitely make this hard.
Thank god for amazon & internet shopping that will bring everything straight to us!
Anon S
We live on 3rd floor walk up. Going up the stairs wasn’t painful. We went out for walks, took her to her doctor’s appts, etc.
Anon S
I had a c section (baby was breech) and my experience was totally fine even though I was a little scared. Here’s what I suggest:
1. Stay on top of your pain meds. I regularly took the meds they gave me and I never had pain above a 2 on a scale of 1-10.
2. They’re going to put these weird boot type things on your legs, it keeps your blood flow going (since you’re not going to be able to move for 12 hours/a day. It feels a little weird but not painful at all, so don’t worry about that part
3. It’s pretty cold in the operating room. Just be prepared for that.
4. You will probably shake a little. My body started shaking/shivering but it’s just from the meds so it’s fine/normal.
5. As soon as you can, walk around the hospital. I had an amazing recovery and I think it’s b/c I was able to get up and walk and move as soon as possible.
6. It hurts a little to laugh or sneeze. Squish a pillow against your tummy if you laugh or sneeze.
7. Get a bellefit (belly binder). I loved mine and I’m not kidding, my tummy was flat 3 weeks after.
I hope all goes well. I am excited for you!!
CPA Lady
Totally agree with everything Anon S said. I had a planned c-section at 39 weeks with a breech baby. It was a great experience and an easy recovery. One thing I would add is that they usually put morphine in the IV during/after the surgery. It makes some people a little bit itchy. So if you start itching, tell them and they will give you some Benadryl.
I loved the boot things. They were kinda like calf massagers. You’ll also have a catheter because you wont be able to get up and pee on your own. The thing that surprised me the most was how sore my arms were by the end of it. Because you cant use your ab muscles to push yourself up in bed, its all on your arms. My arms were in more pain than my C-section incision by the time I got out of the hospital. Also, and this is just my personal opinion, stay in the hospital as long as your insurance will cover. I could have gone home a day earlier, but having access to the nurses, room service, the nursery, and the lactation consultants for that extra day was nice.
I wasn’t in a lot of pain for the couple of weeks after the surgery, but I kept on top of taking my medicine. What surprised me was how physically tired I would get. Once I was allowed to drive, I could go grocery shopping but for 3-4 items max. After that I’d have to sit down. Don’t overdo it.
Anon S
Ohhh yeah, I forgot about that damn catheter. Ugh, OP, the catheter was probably the worst part of everything. I must have forgotten it b/c I blocked it from my memory. And I agree with CPA lady about staying in the hospital. My insurance covered 4 nights, but I was actually there for 5 nights b/c my baby was born right after midnight (so the first night didn’t count towards my insurance) and it was really nice having people wait on you the first few days
Anon S
I just thought of another one. Ask to do skin to skin ASAP (if that is important to you). I was a little upset when I first learned I would have to have a c section b/c I wanted skin to skin ASAP. I didn’t feel like I missed out on anything. They got her out, cleaned her up and she was with me after that. If that’s important to you, tell the doctors that’s what you want.
CHJ
I wouldn’t worry too much about preparing for the C-section. The nurses and hospital staff will take such good care of you, and they’ll provide anything that you need for your recovery. That said, the one thing I really liked after my C-section was a pair of my husband’s oversized basketball shorts. So comfy and soft, with no pressure on the waistband at all. I wore those around the hospital with a zip-up hoodie as soon as I could ditch the hospital gown.
Anon
I had two C-sections both after having labored for 24+ hours immediately prior. A scheduled C-section will still be stressful but you can do it. I didn’t have time to read the comments so sorry if I repeat things others have said.
If you’ve never had any surgery, a c-sect is going to be scary and may be more so because of the baby even if you are experienced with surgery, doctors and hospitals. Ask questions of the nurses – they are your advocates and allies. Or tell partner that you want him to intervene for you. Epidurals are great for pain relief and you’ll still be awake to experience the birth, assuming non-emergency c-sect. Use your breathing exercises to get you through the discomfort when they are getting the baby out. Ask the anesthesiologist to give you a play-by-play if you want. They’ll say “I can see the head.” if you want. The doctor can sometimes hold the baby up so you and father can see the gender of the baby for yourselves instead of hearing “It’s a boy”. Stay on top of the pain afterwards – don’t let it snowball. And if you get a “spinal headache” afterwards don’t ignore it and hope it goes away.
I went for a walk in the park on the way home from the hospital after #1 and after #2 walked upstairs once a day or so with no problems. And I drove after about a week or 10 days after both. I didn’t lift toddler #1 after baby #2 but was able to carry the newborn baby around. Did minimal cooking, no cleaning and no shopping for a time. So I would go with what your body feels like and with doc’s approval. Also, after being released from the hospital, I had no pain that advil wouldn’t work on during the day and only took the harder drugs at night to sleep.
Good luck!
Anon
Oh, and bring a zip up sweatshirt, hoody or pajama top. I felt the gowns were too revealing but anything that goes over the head won’t work for nursing and/or IVs and it’s not comfortable to sit in bed with a bathrobe.
Anon0321
Thanks, will grab a hoody & throw it in the bag! I bought a robe & loose fitting nightgown & high wasted underwear… but hoody’s just feel always feel extra cozy to me (& you aren’t the only one who mentioned it hear), so it’s a good rec.
Anon0321
So, it didn’t end up happening today (& baby seemed to be doing a lot better today)– both relieved & still nervous for the future! I live to see another weekend as a DINK. :)
In House Lobbyist
All good advice. My planned c section was much easier than the emergency one I had first. I had a 30 minute car ride home and a throw pillow held over my stomach really helped. I also nursed with both of mine with not too many problems. I used a large shawl at the hospital but a hoodied would work too. Also, I travel a lot and forgot hospitals aren’t hotels – so you had to bring your own shampoo, blow dryer ect. I also bought nursing bras at the lactation store in the hospital and it was easy.
I went home as soon as possible because my hospital switched by rhe time I had a second one and all the babies roomed in and it was so loud. I was so stressed hearing all those cryin babies. So just do what feels best for you. And good luck!
Wink
I had a semi-emergency C; 4 hours warning but wasn’t in labor. It was a little surreal in the moment but never painful and totally worth it when you hear the baby cry! For recovery – take all the maternity pads (and mesh undies) they give you in the hospital. Besides the bleeding, I found it very helpful to lay an extra pad across my incision to cushion the staples. My recovery was a breeze, just a bit pinchy feeling after the first few days. Stairs were no problem, just take them slowly.
Do be prepared for the lifting/driving restrictions for several weeks. Baby’s weight is no problem. Baby + infant carrier was over the limit for me, so I had to arrange for help for early follow up visits and outings after my husband went back to work.
Anon S
Friend/social question – how often do you see your friends? Here’s my situation – I feel like my husband and I see friends almost every weekend, but each individual friend maybe only once every few months. I’m not saying we’re so popular, but we have multiple groups of friends, so we plan one thing with group A one weekend, group b the next, etc., so that by the time we see everyone through the “rotation” per se, we really only see a particular friend once every few months. Is anyone else in this situation? Sometimes we do big group things but then I don’t feel like it’s as much quality time as doing a double date or a one on one thing. Thoughts?
Anonymous
We like really only see groups of friends, and that’s usually 1-2 times a month. My husband is gone once a month and then we like a weekend to ourselves. We might do something social with just another couple every other month. It’s mostly based on whose available.
Wildkitten
Quarterly.
Cat
Every 2-3 months – it takes that long for both/all of us to have a free Saturday at the same time, and I like to keep Sundays for “family” (i.e., me + hubs) quiet hang-out time. Each month, I’ll typically see friends two Saturdays, my parents one Saturday, and have one weekend plansless, which I love.
Calico
I am in this same position because my friends don’t know each other (and are very different personalities) so we see them one by one, just like you wrote. Some of them make comments like, “oh, we never see you”, but I just don’t know how to keep up otherwise. Sometimes I long for that TV lifestyle where everyone just hangs out in a big group, it would be so much easier.
Anon S
Kat/All – I am not getting emails when people respond even though I selected the “notify me of follow-up comments by email” – anyone else having this problem?
blouses under jackets
I am always looking for blouses to wear under jackets with interesting necklines.
Where do I get this basic, classic feminine blouse (see link to follow)?
To the Good Wife for my example….
blouses under jackets
https://instylewhatsrightnow.wordpress.com/2014/11/03/the-good-wife-alicia-blue-jacket/
Bonnie
That particular blouse is from Pucci. There is a similar silk blouse now at H&M online for $70.
blouses under jackets
Thank you so much. While Pucci would be wonderful, I was looking for affordable similar styles. I should have clarified that.
Anxiety Tips
Other than meds, wine and chocolate, any favorite tips for helping mitigate anxiety? I’ve already talked to my doc and therapist, but I’m stressed and could use some additional tips.
Wildkitten
Headspace (the app). Adult coloring books. Exercise. Walking. Yoga.
Stylin' Q
Watching kitten videos has been shown to reduce stress. Or you could volunteer at an animal shelter to walk dogs, etc.
SC
I’m also on anxiety meds and have seen a therapist (although not regularly seeing one now). Yoga really helps me manage my anxiety, and I’ve started going to one or two classes per week. Any exercise helps, and for me, being outdoors reduces my anxiety. So I’m trying to take long walks on the weekends, and sometimes I’ll take some time at lunch to go outside, walk a few minutes, and run an errand or two. It’s hard to take time for myself, and I used to think it was impossible, but I get extremely anxious when I’m constantly working or doing things for other people.
In the long run, I think alcohol makes my anxiety worse, maybe because I don’t sleep well.
For immediate anxiety reduction, focusing on good posture really helps boost my confidence and improves how I feel about the work I’m trying to do.
Anonymous
Exercise helps a TON. Running and yoga are my choice. You could also look into meditation.
Anon0321
Yes! I’m not a big exerciser in general– but nothing clears my head like a good walk. I either do it with my husband (which I think is a good time to connect), call my mom, listen to some happy music, or just reflect on my thoughts/the sites around me.
I also keep a list of things that perk me up, so that I am reminded of things to do that can make me happy when all I want to do is burrow into my covers and never leave (ex- get nails/hair done, go on walk, go to favorite icecream shop, call a friend, look at a pic of my dogs).
Also- volunteering. Seriously, if you have time, nothing helps you see the forest through the trees quite like seeing others who have it worse than you.
FWIW- I have suffered from depression most of my life & have taken prozac for spells of time here and there & seen therapist when necessary (advisable if the funk/anxiety doesn’t lift after a month or is super intense).
These things just help get me out of my funk.
Anonx
Knitting works for me. It also help me lose weight as I get so involved in it that I don’t eat to curb the anxious/boredom feelings.
CHS
If you have real anxiety try to exercise vigorously (running, cycling, etc.) and think of what’s making you anxious while you’re exercising. I don’t understand all the science behind it, but doing so allows your body to disconnect a bit from the anxious feelings, such that when you have them when you’re not exercising you won’t have some of the physical effects (heart racing, sweaty palms, etc.) and can think about something more rationally. This has worked wonders for me.
Runner 5
Knitting, yoga, adult colouring books. I’ve also just recently started attending church which has helped massively.
KinCA
Exercise, setting aside 15-20 minutes to read a book or magazine before bed, and talking to my friends/my mom on the phone.
NytoCO
In case you don’t like running/cardio, I’ve really gotten into weight lifting (NROLFW) recently and for me, that’s the type of exercise that reduces my stress and makes me feel better for SO MUCH LONGER after my workout.
Anon
I am a senior associate at a good size law firm and have had issues (uh, a blow up earlier this week) with a partner. I went to another partner on the management committee that same day to vent my frustrations, where I found out (confirmed) that I am not the only one – by a long shot – that has major issues with this person and how he interacts with people, how he works (really, how he doesn’t work because he is never here). It sounded like he may even be on his way out, not by his choice. I was told that I did not have to work with/for him anymore. I feel like I received full support for my position with this situation, but I presume that I will have to work with him at some point because he is head of my practice group, at least as long as he is around. How do I deal with this? Short-term and long-term. I’m at a bit of a loss. Advice appreciated!
dsa
You sound like a tattle tale who can’t handle anything. Good grief.
Anon
Way to blame the victim. Some people are just out of bounds horrible to work with & should be held accountable.
I’ve personally had terrible experience trying to get that accountability & now have a philosophy of waiting the person out & then looking for a better opportunity– which I find much more productive.
Doesn’t mean that the OP is in the wrong here, the partner probably is, it’s just that life isn’t fair & usually whoever is less important at the firm gets screwed in these situations.
Anon0321
Just keep being professional. If it gets out of hand look for a new job.
I had a manager that was a nightmare (I mean a seriously sexist a**hole, completely unbearable person to be around that made my life a living hell and punished me & everyone else around him (esp the women) professionally). I was told time & time again, everyone (incl HR- as there were several formal complaints from others against him) knew this was an issue and that he was “on his way out” and I should just stick it out. I finally gave up on waiting & moved to a different group, with an amazing boss, and my life has been so much better. Of course, the jerk never made his way out (& I think law firms are esp good at keeping creeps around as long as they bring in money). When I see him, I smile and say hello (& he is cordial back), and thank my lucky stars I no longer have to deal with him on a daily basis. When my current boss tries to assign me things that deal with him, I say, I am ok with taking this on, but considering the fact that I used to be in this group & left, I am maybe not the most effective person to assign to this task (this is a know your boss thing- lots of bosses, I’d just suck it up, but like I said, my current boss has been amazing & supportive).
Stylin' Q
Does a necklace like this seem too spring/summer to wear to a fall wedding?
http://www.polyvore.com/lido_pearls_mother_pearl_flower/thing?id=31017713
Wildkitten
A bit, but maybe not in the context of your whole outfit?
Stylin' Q
Thanks. I was going to wear it with a black dress and colorful shoes. Dress is very simple so this really dresses it up but it may be too seasonal….
SC
I think it depends on the material of the dress and the type of shoes. If the dress is a heavier material like wool, or is something like silk, then the outfit will lean more fall/winter. If the dress is jersey or crepe, I think it may still look summery. Same with the shoes – strappy shoes vs. peeptoe pumps vs. booties makes a big difference. But, at the end of the day, I’d probably just wear whatever I wanted as long as I was just a regular wedding guest. People should be paying attention to the bride and having a good time, not judging whether your outfit is too summery.
OP
Thanks! Dress is silk and shoes are closed toe suede pumps. I will probably end up wearing it unless I find something that looks as nice. The combo really looks good together, just wasn’t sure if it was seasonally off.
Anon
Have any of you had a cystoscopy? I’m trying to figure out what to expect in terms of pain/discomfort but I’m also trying to stay away from Dr Google in order to not freak myself out. Did you take any pain / anti-anxiety meds before?
cysto
I have a family member who has to have them yearly, unfortunately. It’s a guy, and he deals with it pretty well without meds, but …. he’s a guy, and I think it is a little more of a big deal for women.
Actually, I think an anti-anxiety medication is a fabulous idea. Ativan 1mg 30-60 minutes before hand, with someone to drive you home. You could take a couple tylenol before hand, but I would avoid NSAIDs which are blood thinners. They are supposed to use an anesthetic cream to the urethra which makes it much more tolerable, so you can ask about that ahead of time to be sure they follow your preference.
But I agree with staying away from the web. A call to the nurse that works with your urologist to ask for her recommendations on how to prepare can also help answer your questions and give you some reassurance.
I promise you the anxiety/worry going up to the test will be worse than the test itself. As with so many things in life……. at least for me!
Good luck. You can do it!
Anon
Thank you! I will consult with the doctor about anxiety meds and pain meds. If there’s no medical reason to not take them, then why not. I get super nervous in the doc’s office anyway, even for this thing that shouldn’t be a big deal.