Open Thread: Recommend Books, Shows, Recipes, and More for the Long Weekend!

62 Comments

1. I really enjoy reading Karin Slaughter.

2. Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld. Delightful.

   1. +1 and in a similar vein The Bodyguard by Katherine Center

   2. I loved Romantic Comedy, which is outside my usual genres (mysteries, suspense/thrillers, literary fiction). I also adored her book Eligible, which updates Pride & Prejudice to the age of reality dating shows; it is hilarious. (It’s extra enjoyable for those familiar with Cincinnati; a lot of the neighborhoods and landmarks are real, and at least one pivotal scene takes place in a Skyline Chili.)

      For those who like more “cozy” mysteries, I really enjoyed Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers and the first two books in a series by Harini Nagendra, starting with The Bangalore Detectives Club, in which the amateur sleuth is a young newlywed in 1920s Bangalore.

3. I never make hamburgers at home, or didn’t used to, because I really don’t like getting my hands into the ground meat, and then when I do I can never get the patties flat enough that they don’t shrink into too small too thick pucks on the grill.

   Enter pre-formed patties. I am finding these more widely available now. I like to generously season with a Penzey’s spice mix – my go-to is Quebec Beef – and grill them to medium well, which is only a couple of minutes per side. I slice some ripe tomatoes, but the rest is pre-bought hamburger spread, bagged lettuce, bottled other condiments etc. And for those who want cheese, we use pre-sliced cheese for the last 1 minute on the grill (per Anthony Bourdain, American cheese all the way.) Whole wheat buns are our preference.

   This probably seems very simple to those who already do it but the idea that I didn’t have to start from scratch helped me get into the idea of grilling burgers at home more often, and it’s perfect for a holiday weekend.

   1. (Ps I’m talking about fresh ground beef patties. I’ve never liked the frozen, though frozen turkey patties have been surprisingly good)

   2. Another option is to get a hamburger patty maker. I have an ancient Tupperware set but you can get new (and vintage) ones all over the internet.

4. I am about to donate my mother’s collection of books to the local public library. It is a bit heartbreaking, as there are at least a couple thousand. She was a reader.

   Trying to go through them and pull out a few to keep. Maybe you can help me? She loved reading American women authors and often had the entire oeuvre of an author. Most of her authors started writing in the 60s/70s/80s/90s. Margaret Atwood, Carson McCullers, Margaret Drabble, Joyce Carol Oats, Colette, Mary Gordon, Jean Rhys, Doris Lessing, Ellen Gilchrist, Anne Tyler, Iris Murdoch, Toni Morrison, Gail Goodwin, Nora Ephron, Barbara Victor and more…

   Do you have a favorite work from any of these authors/authors from this era? Some of them I know of course, but most I have not read many works of.

   So tell me your favorite, if you can.

   1. I’m sorry for your loss! You mom sounds like she would have been a great book buddy. I would keep all the Margaret Atwoods – she is one of my favorites.

   2. keep the Atwood, Ephron, Morrison, and maybe the Oats. Specific titles:
      – Handmaid’s Tale (Atwood)
      – Good Bones and Simple Murders (Atwood)
      – the 3 titles I know from Ephron are Heartburn; Love, Loss & What I Wore; and I Feel Bad About My Neck. (There’s a hardcover edition of Heartburn on Amazon for $63 right now…)

   3. Team Anne Tyler! I don’t think she’s written a bad novel. My favorite is Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant, but it deals with a troubled mother/child relationship so maybe not the best fare for you right now. If your mom’s collection doesn’t extend to her more recent works, I highly recommend them (Clock Dance was a recent highlight for me).

      I’m sorry for your loss; I hope your mom’s books are well loved by the library patrons.

   4. I love all of the Anne Tyler books, of course Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, I’d probably keep the Toni Morrison and Nora Ephron books as well.

      I’m so sorry for your loss.

      1. She probably also has some Alice Munro books, maybe some Barbara Kingsolver. I’d read those too n

         1. Love Munro.

            1. Oh yes, Alice Monro – she has a lot of them.

               Barbara Kingsolver sounds familiar but I don’t her! Will look…

               Many thanks to all of you.

   5. My favorite Margaret Atwood is The Handmaid’s Tale and favorite Toni Morrison is Song of Solomon. I like Anne Tyler too, but I can’t say that any one book in particular stands out in my memory.

   6. If you haven’t read the early (pre-Handmaid’s Tale) Atwoods, I’d recommend those, particularly if you are in or close to middle age. She had a lot to say about that era of a woman’s life. I read these in high school and think I may revisit them myself, as I’m knocking on the door of 50 now.

   7. I’ve read multiple books by Margaret Atwood and can’t really pick among them. I would save everything by her as they are fast novels that you can polish off in a weekend. Toni Morrison, Joyce Carol Oats, and Nora Ephron are the most famous of the authors you have listed but I can’t say much about them beyond that.

      In general, I would keep the full length novels and donate any volumes of lesser works like letters, essays, and short stories unless you know you are into those formats. I happen to love short stories, but most people don’t and I frequently see those volumes donated in pristine condition.

      1. My Mom actually loved short stories too, and has many collections.

   8. Nora Ephron is great. I Feel Bad About My Neck and I Remember Nothing are my favorites.

      If she has any Barbara Kingsolver, those are wonderful.

      I am sorry for your loss. My dad had a huge library when he passed and I hated getting rid of all those books but kept a few to read and still treasure those. I also invited people I knew to chose any that they wanted because I loved knowing they were going to someone who knew and cared about him.

   9. What about donating to a retirement home or senior center instead? My library hasn’t accepted donations since 2019.

      1. Our senior centers are at the library!

         Sad thing – I have been in touch with multiple retirement homes in our area and they never return a phone call, after I leave messages about things I’d like to give them. It is crazy. One of them I know has a poor library/video collection. They just don’t want more and/or think they have what they need. shrugs.

         Our library has a huge sale every year. If the books you donate aren’t needed in their collection, they sell them to raise funds for the library. The sale is hugely popular.

         1. Senior centers often have a hard time keeping staff, so you might just connect with someone who has a relative there and have them drop off *some* Some seniors are readers, however, many that are in assisted living/skilled nursing care have memory issues, which affects interest in reading. If there is a Little Small Library nearby that has some traffic, add a few books.

            They will also work well for a local faith community’s nearly-new/yard sale. It can also be for a local non-profit that your mom appreciates.

            I’m so sorry for your loss, she has great taste in books!

5. The Netflix Tour de France documentary (basically Drive to Survive for cycling) is awesome – and this year’s Tour kicks off Saturday so I highly recommend binging it and then watching the Gran Depart!

   1. +1

      We stumbled across the plaque for last year’s starting line in Copenhagen a couple of weeks ago, and it was fun to watch the documentary and see the first episode feature many of the places we visited, like Tivoli Gardens!

      1. I am a longtime pro cycling fan (I’ve traveled to a bunch of European races, although not a Grand Tour) – and I thought they did a great job with it. There was a teensy bit of manufactured drama, but honestly there was so much real drama in that Tour that you didn’t really need it. I’m definitely super stoked for this year’s edition now!

      2. Last month we were on the Amalfi Coast during a stage of the Giro (the Italian version of the Tour) and it was so much fun to watch! I’m not a cycling fan at all, but I’m definitely interested in learning more about it now.

         1. The Giro is the most beautiful Grand Tour and my personal fave! So jealous you got to see it.

            My personal favorite race on the calendar is a one-day called Paris-Roubaix – there is a great classic documentary on it called “A Sunday in Hell.” It’s incredibly beautiful, insanely hard, and totally epic every year. You can find great photos online that give you a sense of why it’s so crazy – google “Arenberg Forest Roubaix.”. It’s on TV in the US now, so worth catching next spring if you find that you have become a cycling fan :-). And there are both men’s and women’s races!

6. Somebody recommended The Queen’s Thief series here and I devoured the whole series on vacation this month. I loved how the first book was from the POV of the title character and then the subsequent ones were each focused on a different person in his orbit.

   Right now I’m reading Stacey Abrams’s latest, Rogue Justice, and it’s a fun page-turner.

   1. I read Stacey Abrams’s first book (Sleeping Justice?) and wanted to love it, the story was involving, but the writing was just so bad I kept yelling at it …

      1. I’m intrigued that Abrams has another justice-themed novel and will peek at it.

         I listened to the first audiobook and didn’t have an issue with it at all, so – maybe there is a better delivery with that version. I didn’t find the book/experience terrible, as an alternate experience.

         I *DID* read Stephen King’s _Fairy Tale_, after like a 2 decade hiatus, and it was OK – I loved his early novels when I was a much younger adult, and _The Stand_ was his best from that period IMO. _On Writing_ is also quite a good read on the craft of writing by him.

         _Lessons In Chemistry_ is a good read if you have a geeky stripe, the No. 2 pencil should be a don’t-mess-with-me fashion-statement talisman, AND the dog is a great character. It may be more available now that it’s past its initial hot-read-vibe.

         Tougher reads: Finding Me by Viola Davis – she had a hard beginning (memoir), it’s elegantly told – is there anything this fantastic actor can’t do?
         also – There, There by Tommy Orange has a violent event at its center. It’s told in several voices, so is not a great match for audio unless you are great at details, or they have re-cast it with separate actor voices to cue the shifts in perspective. It’s our State Read-This-Book for community discussions, if you opt into that.

7. Are there any documentaries on obscure or former sports: race-walking, steeplechase (the ones where people are free running, not on horses, used to be in the Olympics), rhythmic gymnastics, possibly others?

   1. Tug of war used to be an Olympic sport. BRING IT BACK!

      1. That’s awesome.

   2. Check out Home Game on Netflix.

   3. Murderball, about wheelchair rugby, was really good, altho is almost 20 years old at this point.

      1. It stands up over time, though, pushing back on stigma and social bias, and it covers disABILITY – focusing on the whole person and their ability, not getting mired in often irrelevant curiosities. Here are some other movies:

         Free Solo
         The Swimmers
         Soul Surfer
         Queen of Katwe/Brooklyn Castle
         Fighting with my Family

8. I am a non-parent, dating a parent. Kiddos are 9 and 11 years old. They are super fun to be around, except at meal times. Glasses are played with until they fall over. Last night both kids decided to assemble “sandwiches” out of their meal, by moving components from their plate to the table surface.

   I do not have young children in my extended family. Is this normal for their ages? My best friend has a 3 and 6 year old, and they didn’t do any of this when I visited for a week. But she is French, not American.

   I am American and I remember strangers and friends’ parents complimenting my parents on my brothers and my table manners at restaurants. Maybe I am just out of touch? What is normal mealtime behavior for kids this age?

   1. We have a 3 year old, a 10 year old, and a 12 year old. My 3 year old is pretty rambunctious and he does try to (for lack of a better work) incorporate his food into playtime (ie putting blueberries in the trunk of his monster truck), but he only knocks glasses over accidentally and he understands that food stays on plates. Our older kids haven’t done stuff like this since they were slightly older than him – 4 or 5?

      I think of this as less about table manners and more about expectations for mealtime behavior. It’s not knowing how to use forks and say please and thank-you, it’s about understanding that meals are a shared activity and that stuff like what you’re describing is inconsiderate to their parents, who are also trying to eat.

   2. Hmm, from my perspective that sounds really unpleasant and I would not want to eat with them.
      I raised 2 kids and have several nieces and nephews and all were taught table manners and were good
      companions at restaurants even at very young ages. We too received compliments on their table manners.
      It sounds like a conversation is in order with your person.

   3. Completely unacceptable. Not normal. I would have nipped that in the bud in the toddler stage (for my own children, that is. Gently, of course.) Is the parent — I don’t know how to say this exactly — do you have similar values otherwise?

   4. Are the kids neurotypical? I’d say that’s kind of unusual behavior – even my autistic 9yo doesn’t do that stuff, but WOULD if he thought it would result in getting a reaction out of me or tablemates. So: this may be their way of testing you and/or dad. I’d take it in stride and leave it to the dad.

   5. Your French friend’s children seem unusually well-behaved, but 9 and 11 is old for this kind of behavior. I have a 5 year old and she is mostly growing out of stuff like this. She will still play with food but doesn’t take it off the plate.

   6. That seems old for that kind of behavior and I would talk to your partner about how expectations and rules can be gradually introduced. I have a 3 and 5 year old who don’t have particularly stellar table manners but neither would do the things you describe.

   7. This does sound horribly annoying and not age appropriate.

      That said, if I were in your shoes I would not take this on. I would bite my tongue until it bled before I would turn myself into “Dad’s girlfriend who gives us a hard time about our table manners.” Or even “Dad’s girlfriend who gives us sideeye and by some strange coincidence Dad has started giving us a hard time about our table manners.”

      1. Yes, this, 100%

      2. This.

      3. Hahaha well said! Kids are incredibly sensitive to this (second example) kind of thing. Don’t think they won’t know where it came from.
         Let their parent deal with it unless it very directly impacts you (e.g. their food falls ON you).
         I have a 8 and 12 yo and they know that food stays on the plate. They also know that if they drop something, they need to clean it up. And they don’t have great table manners otherwise (talk loudly, kick each other under the table, have spilled water while squabbling and wipe it up, and have laughed so much they fell off their chairs).

   8. Sounds like the parent doesn’t want to be the meanie. Or simply doesn’t know how to get the kids to behave. Kids are winning.

   9. Are you at a restaurant, and are they bored? If so, they need alternate entertainment or at least distraction so this doesn’t become a habit.

      Kids have also had a huge hiatus from formal manners with the pandemic – there are a couple of manners shows that might catch their attention – my teens occasionally gravitate to the one on Netflix – skip the one on dating though.

      Is this a ploy…have you seen the kids in the Sound of Music when they are trying to scare off Maria?

      If the sandwich routine was happening at home, have them make a meal with you. They tend to respect food a bit when they know the effort and savoir faire that goes into creating something to enjoy-while-being-eaten, not used as a plaything. If they ate the sandwich, well, that’s only technical compliance. If it’s a mess that leads to waste, there’s more to discuss, especially if any of them care about the environment (or some other “boost” for you-can-do-better)

9. Anyone using HRT for menopause? [If it matters: with a soy-derived bio-identical, which is thought to lower the cancer risk from “real” estrogens.] Can you walk me through your lived experience? OB says it will manage hot flashes and night sweats. OB is maybe 40, so this is book learning for her (it’s at a practice where I am always the oldest patient there, so not sure who else she cares for for whom this is relevant; she is lovely, but my prior OB was older than me and I valued that but she moved).

   1. I’m just starting this week!

      I am not sure what the soy-derived bio-identical is…. this is a medication the doctor prescribed or something you bought as a supplement/compounded that you are trying? I would never use a hormonal treatment that wasn’t FDA approved and quality controlled, particularly if you are worried about side effects. Unregulated supplements could be… anything.

      But for me she definitely told me that my hot flashes (and therefore my sleep/fatigue/?cognition) should improve, and possibly my mood swings too. I am very happy about the positive effects on bone density, colon cancer prevention, and I didn’t realize that it will also have some cardiovascular protective effects while I am in my 50’s.

      I am seeing a GYN who specializes in menopause. She is fantastic. I am on progesterone pill, which I just started. Before starting my prescription bio-identical estrogen gel, she is doing a full pelvic/breast exam and a DEXA scan for my baseline in light of my family history. I am getting yearly mammograms, and starting yearly breast ultrasounds because of my dense breasts (new expanding recommendation….), which I will stagger 6 months after my mammogram.

      Good luck to you!

   2. I’m taking “regular” HRT, estradiol and progesterone, prescribed by an older male OB-GYN. No concerns whatsoever, and I’ve read a lot of the studies. It’s made my life livable for several years now, and I believe kept my skin looking younger as well. Is that what you’re looking for? I am very much a proponent.

      If your doctor hasn’t provided handouts, the New York Times recently (within a year?) published an article describing the faulty science of the cancer scares. And as usual in the NYT, the readers’ comments were equally informative as the article. Oh wait — let me look. Found it! It’s from Feb 1, and there were 3.3 thousand comments. Title: “Women Have Been Misled About Menopause.” (It was actually just updated June 15.)

      1. Thank you for this! I think I need to do some research and have a more detailed discussion with my GYN.

         I am 63, took HRT for maybe 9 years after hot flashes – really just warm flashes, for me – were disrupting my sleep and kicking my a**. I would have a short warm flash and then be awake for 1-1.5 hours once or twice a night, the sleep deprivation was horrible. I felt great on the hormones and hated going off of them, and the symptoms are back, maybe a bit less severe than the first time around but still fairly awful when the insomnia happens even a few times a week. OP, if your doc is recommending it, I would have no reservations about starting HRT>

   3. I’ve been on HRT since I had a hysterectomy a year ago. I use an estrogen patch, and because I have neither uterus nor ovaries, I don’t take progesterone. My lived experience is that I feel completely normal. I love that I no longer have fluctuations and it makes my day to day much more pleasant. I don’t have hot flashes, but for me, quitting drinking a few years before my hysterectomy is what took care of the hot flashes/night sweats.

   4. Sort of? I’ve stayed on the pill continuously and have no symptoms. That’s been the route all my friends have taken too. You forget a pill and they come raging back but it works well. I had no issues with it when I was younger though so ymmv.

   5. I have chemotherapy induced menopause and have been on HRT since my late 20s. I take estradiol patches and oral progesterone because I still have a uterus. I feel completely normal – no hot flashes, no joint pain, etc. When I initially went through menopause it happened all at once and I was hit hard – hot flashes, anxiety, insomnia, joint issues, weight gain. All of that went away within two months of starting HRT and I have never looked back.

10. I posted this on another weekend thread, but I am grateful to the commenters here who got me to check out cdrama just in time for Till The End of the Moon.

11. Here are my favorite reads of 2023 so far:
    – “The Warmth of Other Suns” by Isabel Wilkerson
    – “The Final Empire” by Brandon Sanderson
    – “Babel: An Arcane History” by R.F. Kuang
    – “Hello, Beautiful” by Ann Napolitano
    – “The Witch Elm” by Tana French
    – “Carrie Soto is Back” by Taylor Jenkins Reid
    – “The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer” by Siddhartha Mukherjee
    – “Horse” by Geraldine Brooks
    – “The Night Ship” by Jess Kidd
    – “Local Woman Missing” by Mary Kubica

    1. Thanks for the list! +1 to Carrie Soto.

       My favorite reads of 2023 so far:
       I Have Some Questions for You by Rebecca Makkai (I think this is my #1)
       The Bodyguard by Katherine Center
       Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld
       The Gatekeepers by Chris Whipple
       Watergate: A New History by Garrett Graff
       A Constellation of Vital Phenomena by Anthony Marra (old but new to me and a close contender for best book of the year)

12. True Biz – Sara Novic
    Nora Goes Off Script – Annabel Monaghan

13. I’m going to Mammoth for this long week-end. I don’t ski or do anything really strenuous. I want to take photographs, walk around with my dog and relax. Any breakfast recommendations? I’m impressed by the number of restaurants in town. What about spas? TIA!

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