Thursday’s Workwear Report: Peter Pan Collar Cotton T-Shirt
This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This Peter Pan collar top from Isaac Mizrahi New York might be a little cutesy for some folks, but I like it. The lightweight, 100% cotton fabric would be perfect for layering under a sweater with the collar peeking out, or wearing tucked into a spring-y skirt.
The top is $68 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XS-XXL.
Looking for a plus-size option? Here's one from Dia & Co. that's on clearance for $31.99.
P.S. Check out our Hunt on stylish blouses for work!
Sales of note for 4/21/25:
- Nordstrom – 5,263 new markdowns for women!
- Ann Taylor – 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles
- Brooks Brothers – Friends & Family Sale: 30% off sitewide
- The Fold – 25% off selected lines
- Eloquii – $29+ select styles + extra 40% off all sale
- Everlane – Spring sale, up to 70% off
- J.Crew – Spring Event: 40% off sitewide + extra 50% off sale styles + 50% swim & coverups
- J.Crew Factory – 40%-70% off everything + extra 70% off clearance
- Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Earth Day Sale: Take 25% off eco-conscious fabrics. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Madewell – Extra 30% off sale + 50% off sale jeans
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 30% off entire purchase w/Talbots card
I always think of Peggy from Mad Men when I see these collars – when Joan tells her to stop dressing like a little girl
Username checks out!
I agree. Naive ingenue is not the look I’m targeting.
Yeah I am DECADES past that vibe.
I definitely still rock a Peter Pan collar. I like the detail at the neck. But then my look has always gravitated towards “cute”, think freckles. I don’t pull off sexy or powerful and am not going to make myself ridiculous by trying.
That is cute! I’ve been on the hunt for nicer t-shirts and tops that aren’t quite work blouses but a little fancier than a plain shirt.
I love Peter Pan collars for my daughters but cannot imagine ever wearing one myself
This year I found good pieces like this at Hobbs (at Bloomingdale’s) and Talbots.
Can anyone advise me on the general sizing of JCrew’s plus stuff?
There is a dress that I like that is final sale. I’m a solid 18W/20/2x, and the dress I like (ponte knit) is available in an xl (too small) or a 3x (slightly too big). The reviews for fit are all over the place. Some say runs small, others say runs big.
I’d appreciate anyone’s experiences with their plus line. Thanks!
Don’t do it!!!
Unless it’s such a good deal that you think you can resell it to recoup your costs (if it doesn’t fit), don’t do it.
I like JCrew but would say their straight sizes can be somewhat unpredictable in tops and dresses. I can be one of 3 letter sizes or 3-4 numerical sizes. I only buy on final sale if it’s something I already have in another color, or have tried on earlier.
My experience with J Crew a couple years ago was that even two sweaters in the exact same size were different lengths. (I’d gotten two colors). I wouldn’t gamble on final sale there unless it’s shoes or accessories.
This is all fair (and useful) feedback. Thank you!
I’ve been searching for something similar to the JCrew Portfolio Dress in Ponte in a navy blue in a 2x/18W/20. Similar searches bring up plenty of black dresses that are similar but I’d really like a navy options for spring. I’d welcome any recommendations from the group :)
Check out this one from Land’s End: https://www.landsend.com/products/womens-cap-sleeve-box-pleat-ponte-dress/id_376490
I’d pass. I’m a 14-16 and sometimes have to go to XL to get the right fit at JCrew. I think an 18 would be between the XL and the 3X as you suspect. You could look at poshmark or other sites to see if anyone has posted the dress with actual garment measurements, but absent more certainty I wouldn’t do it on final sale.
For JCrew plus, I would say they usually fit reasonably TTS (i.e. I wear 22W/3X and am currently wearing my JCrew Going Out blazer in 24, love my 3X pleated skirts). But it really depends on fit. If stretchy fabric and flowy, might work either way. If meant to fit more like suiting or more straight cut, I wouldn’t chance it. Also I have a problem with their tops in general–they cut them bigger width wise but not length and so I find they are super short on me.
If you’re willing to risk it based on the price and style, I would buy the larger size and get it tailored to fit.
I’d do it if you can size up and get your potential biggest size. I wouldn’t otherwise.
I’ve been a loyal JCrew shopper for decades, and my experience in recent years is that if something is final sale, it’s often because there’s something off about it–flimsy fabric, too short, too see-through, weird sizing, etc.
The only exception is their bathing suits, which have been on final sale and are screaming deals lately.
I am a cusp-plus (16) and was bigger in recent years, and JCrew factory runs small, particularly in the shoulders. JCrew (proper) is usually closer to TTS even in plus, BUT, their fit for plus is a shorter model than their normal stuff, so shirts are often short/pants are often short. I am tall, so their stuff often doesn’t fit in plus.
Talbots will have a cute navy shift or too most likely, in plus, if you stalk them in Spring.
I’m the same size as you. Most of their things fit TTS or slightly small. But every now and then, I’ll order a dress or sweater and it is ginormous. Unless you see a bunch of reviews saying it fits really small, I don’t think the 3x will fit well. Ponte is stretchy. You’ll be shapeless and swimming in it. Check out ebay or Poshmark. When something goes on final sale, you’ll see a lot of NWT start showing up.
Dealing with some stuff with my terminally ill mom and barely slept last night. I have a full day today and need to get myself out of zombie mode for awhile. Other than copious amounts of coffee, any great ideas?
Random sets of jumping jacks scattered throughout the day.
I’m really sorry about your mom. Also giving you permission to take the afternoon off if needed.
I may have to. I’m physically and emotionally exhausted. We’re all hoping for the best, of course, but at this point, the initial illness isn’t even the biggest problem. She does not want to accept even the smallest amount of medication/intervention for the other issue that’s rapidly becoming a problem. Which I get on some level because her disease is life-limiting no matter what, and there is no happy ending with this diagnosis. But selfishly, I wish she was willing to do more for the secondary thing, which is more manageable. There is still time to make some memories and such (maybe?), but it feels like she’s pulling away from us, which is also hard to accept.
Oh, I’m so, so sorry. This sounds very difficult.
Get outside and go for a few walks today. They don’t have to be long, but a change of scenery and bodily movement will support you getting through today.
Just sending love, going through the exact same thing here.
Hugs to you, too. There’s no simple or easy way to get through this.
Thanks, I didn’t realize I needed that :)
That sounds really, really tough. Lots of love to you both.
I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom.
I know this is hard to accept, but please let her do what she wants to do.
She has lost almost all control of her life. It is important to give her any limited freedom of choice possible….. even if it may not be what you would have chosen, or want.
Wishing better days for you.
Today I recommend getting outside in the sun for a brisk walk in the middle of the day. Just breathe.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Now is the time to offload whatever you can. Look at your day and see what can be delegated, handed off, postponed, or just skipped. People will help you, especially if they know what’s happening in your life. You will be surprised how much support you have.
When my mom was diagnosed with late stage cancer in early 2020, my boss at the time said the best thing to me: Now is the time to be selfish. You’ve put in the work here, and we can cover for you. Take care of yourself, take care of your family. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and I hope it’s useful for you.
I know you’re right. I took one meeting off my plate that didn’t need to happen right now.
I’m sorry about your mom, too.
Thank you. <3
Give yourself a lot of grace as you go through this, and lean on your support system. This place is part of that system. Sending hugs.
Quick walk outside at some point. Fresh air always helps revive me. I also try to go with tea over too much coffee, which makes me jittery after a few cups. And plenty of water to stay hydrated.
Take care of yourself in this tough time.
I’m sorry you are going through this and other have lots of practical advice. For an unconventional thing to look forward to- go to the corner store or gas station and buy yourself whatever you would buy with change in your pocket as a kid. Sometimes, a tootsie pop can be the little bit you needed emotionally.
First, I am so sorry for what you are experiencing. This is one of the hardest things you will experience in life. My mother was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer after several years of misdiagnosis and clear malpractice. There was no recommended treatment other than palliative care. My mother had a few weeks that she used to spend time with family and friends and wrap up a few loose ends. As soon as symptoms intensified, she discontinued all her regular medications for heart, blood pressure, etc. because she did not want the slow death she had seen with others. She died quickly about 5 weeks after her diagnosis, after a hospice stay of less than two days. One thing that made grieving easier for me and for my siblings has been knowing that she felt strong in her decision, that she chose some level of control, and that her period of suffering was limited. It has been a true comfort (and I say this after seeing my father die after several years of cancer treatment and suffering). Consider that your mother may be making a decision that makes sense for her, even if it does not match with your heart wanting to keep her here. I am so sorry for all the pain.
I know you’re right, as hard as it is to accept. My grandma, her mom, had an awful prolonged end-of-life disease (ALS), and I absolutely think that is a factor in her decision. She is resolute that she will not try anything else and she also isn’t going to keep up with her health and wellbeing in general. But it’s also painful to accept that I’m watching her choose to slowly wither away into nothing.
I’m sorry about your mom. My mom has rapidly progressive ALS and frontal temporal dementia. It always takes me several days to recover after I see her.
Get enough sleep (insomnia is a prob though bc it’s all just so sad), constantly distract yourself with something else for the next several days to avoid useless thinking. If you do think about mom, focus on things that are actionable.
Exercise (esp cardio) and good food.
Hugs.
I am so sorry. That is a brutal diagnosis. I would take days to recover, too.
Run cold water on your wrists. Wakes you up without coffee!
This is actually a really good, simple idea.
Sometimes it helps to blast a playlist that justifies your rage, grief, and scream into the void (which may have to be in the car or a power walk and not the office). I wish I had had access to those breakable places when my mom died.
Does anyone have any good knitted hat patterns that feature ribbing and are also possibly a rectangle that you can sew into a tube and then tie off at the top end?
Since it sounds like you are trying to avoid decreasing to shape the top of the hat, you don’t need a pattern. Just make a gauge swatch in whatever rib pattern you like, then measure a hat that fits you well and cast on enough stitches on a circular needle to make that circumference. Knit until it’s as long as you like, then run the tail through the stitches on the needles, pull until tight, and work in the end. There will be a hole at the top of the hat since you didn’t decrease. You can cover it with a big pompom.
I do this. It works.
You probably already know this, but ribbing is K1, P1 straight across the row, or K2, P2, or K3, P3 probably depending on your yarn. Do a swatch first as suggested above.
There are a zillion and one iterations of the P u ssyhat pattern that are made like you desribe. If you don’t want ears, you could knit an icord and thread it through the ribbing at one end like a drawstring and cinch it snug.
I tried to make a margarita at home. Are they really supposed to have 3 shots of liquor in one drink? They don’t seem that strong at the bar. How to make one at home that won’t put me under the table?
Yes, a real margarita with fresh lime juice will be that strong. For less liquor you make it smaller. If you want a big drink that’s weaker, you have to use the awful bottled margarita mix.
1.5 oz tequila
1 oz triple sec (or 1 oz cointreau if you want it stronger)
1 oz lime juice
.5 oz simple syrup
1.5 oz is one shot, so this is almost 2 shots. If you want more liquid in your glass, add club soda.
You can make a recipe like this with a smaller amount of Grand Marnier in place of the triple sec to reduce the alcohol content.
Bonus – It will taste better
Club soda in a margarita was such a game changing recommendation by a friend of mine several years ago! Always include it now when making them at home!
The easiest is to get Paul Newman limeade or TJs spicy limeade and mix it 50/50 with tequila of your choice, mezcal is quite nice too. It is shockingly good and easy. It’s my number one summer party trick.
+1 the premixes are really good!
Yes and these specifically work because they’re not chemically like a lot of bar mixes. I promise it’s the best marg you’ve ever had and the easiest party drink.
TJ spicy limeade???? This could be a game changer.
I bet it work for micheladas…
It is SO good and it kills me that it’s a seasonal item. I stock up every summer and yet it never lasts through the winter.
Most bars use horrible premade sour mix so they don’t have to use as much (expensive) alcohol. Good bars make their own sour mix, which I think is basically lime juice and simple syrup. Good Mexican restaurants use lime juice, a bit of simple syrup, Cointreau, and tequila, and their margs will get you drunk fast.
At home, I go bare bones with lime, Cointreau, and tequila, and water it down either with a lot of ice or club soda.
Maybe try the canned Topo Chico “signature margarita” flavor? I find it has that great tart lime taste, but it’s around the same ABV as a light beer.
Are you shaking your margarita with ice? The ice not only chills the drink, but also melts to dilute it. If you’re making batches to refrigerate, you can just add water.
When I make margaritas at home, my proportions are roughly 3 parts fresh citrus juice, 2 parts tequila, 1 part Cointreau, 1 part agave syrup, and a pinch of salt. Shake with a lot of ice and serve over more ice. The citrus always includes lime juice, but I’ll often add orange or grapefruit to cut the acidity a little.
It takes very little tequila to make a margarita taste like a margarita. I think bars rip us off. So I do the same at home since less alcohol is fine by me.
I worked at a Mexican restaurant and it was 2 oz tequila .5 of triple sec. It was definitely sour mix but I forgot how much. The key was a splash of orange juice or it looks kind of clear and people complain. This was on the south shore of long island where people drink and tip heavy. We weren’t pouring light.
Yeah there are contexts where people would notice and care!
And maybe they just size me up correctly anyway.
A college classmate started a tequila company that is lower alcohol – google “ola sol.” Can’t vouch for the taste as I haven’t tried it but it may be an option!
My recipe is: 1.5 oz tequila, 1.5 oz agave syrup, 1.5 oz lime juice. Maybe a dash of orange juice. I don’t know if it’s technically a margarita without triple sec or cointreau, but it’s good.
Oh, and as someone mentioned above, shake with ice as it will dilute it some.
if you have a ninja ice cream maker try saving margarita mix and water ahead of time, and then using the ninja to make a slushie margarita. so good!
If you want a less boozy tequila cocktail, try a Paloma, which is normally a long drink.
An out of town friend of mine is eloping this week. They’re away from their regular home, but I wanted to send over something nice to be there when they get back (and I’m
not sure exactly when that will be, so nothing perishable). What should I send? Champagne would be OK, but any more creative ideas?
In many (all?) states, alcohol deliveries require an adult to sign for them, so that’s annoying if they’re out of town. It might just get returned if you get the timing wrong or be a hassle if they have to go to UPS to pick it up the first night they get back.
Shoot, good point. She lives in a state where this is probably a concern. Clearly I need more ideas!
A nice card for now and flowers or a plant in 2-3 weeks when they’re back. I wouldn’t send wine in case it sits outside for a few weeks; big temperature swings are not great for champagne.
Replying to myself – I didn’t think about needing an adult signature but that person is probably right. DH has a whiskey subscription and they usually just leave it, but they’re probably not supposed to.
When I eloped there was such a flurry of excitement when we got home that kept the feeling going. I wouldn’t worry about something waiting there but sending flowers a week later would be lovely – that’s right when normal life starts to settle in again and the perfect time for a pick up.
Unless they live in a doorman building, I wouldn’t send anything until they return unless it’s a card with a gift card inside.
Yeah, I wouldn’t risk either porch pirates nabbing the package, or sending a signal to the general public that their house is unattended.
+1 with sending something later unless they have someone to take care of packages for them. I dislike having packages sit on my porch when I’m out town because I’m worried it’ll draw attention from potential burglars.
Twice in past years, I have arranged for a small bridal bouquet to be delivered to an eloping bride and both times it was a huge hit. You have to know where they are, but if you do, then you can just call a local-to-that-area florist and make it happen.
Failing that, I think flowers when you know for sure they’re home (maybe even sent to her workplace) is a good idea.
Curious if anyone here is a knowledge management/practice management attorney at a firm and how they like the role. It’s not something I’d previously considered but an opportunity popped up and it’s aligned with some of the work I currently do in house.
I’m interested in the replies. I’m a partner in a big firm and I lean on these folks a lot, but I don’t think I’d like to be on the receiving end of the stuff I ask them for. It’s like being a junior associate permanently – discrete research projects with little to no background on the case, and often a fire drill (though I think I’m better than most partners about limiting fire drills). I hated those assignments as an associate, but some people thrive on it so ymmv.
Dead end job first to get cut just a drag financially. Like a fancy admin
Yep, this.
I work for a large legal services company and some people lateral from here to KM roles. It seems highly dependent on the firm. Some firms have great KM orgs that are respected and at the forefront of decision making, especially those firms that are leaning into AI development. Others treat their KM as functions as backoffice Westlaw librarians or legal secretaries as others have said.
At least in corporate, these folks are responsible for form banks, updating forms based on DE caselaw or best practices that are new, and basically being very knowledgeable about the “why” of precedents. For firms with ECVC practices or discrete practices where forms tie tightly (Finance), they really understand how things dovetail and try to make things neat and efficient. If you’re a corporate junkie, I think it could be a low-stress way to be at a firm. I will cosign that at most firms, these folks are treated around the way staff attorneys are–as staff, internal offices/no window offices, not considered associates or part of the associate programs, etc. If you’re fine with that from an ego and exclusion perspective, I’d consider it.
FWIW, I was at Mintz and WSGR, and these attorneys were respected, treated well and paid well, but definitely staff.
Travel suggestions for extended family (grandparents and grandkids ages 3-10) to Paris this summer?
We definitely want to do a river cruise (would love to hear if there was one you liked) and a family friendly Louvre scavenger hunt type of visit. Staying in the 7th which is not my preference but we’re pretty good at getting around cities. Have also marked down Tuilieries Gardens and Luxembourg Gardens as musts with the kids.
TIA!
Versailles has some great stuff like the fountains show and an equestrian show (not sure recommended ages).
I also like to do a kid friendly cooking class when travelling with kids. No specific recommendations but check via tour for reviews
I took a macaroon making class in Paris and there were a handful of families with kids (mostly in the 8-12 y/o range, for younger kids a less technical recipe may be better).
We love kid friendly cooking classes when traveling! I’d recommend bread/pastry making over macarons with kids under 10.
Jardin d’Acclimatation is great with kids. Fondation Louis-Vuitton is nearby and also worth a trip.
The playground at Luxembourg Gardens is also super fun! There is a small entrance fee (like 1 or 2 euros), but it is totally worth it.
My kids also enjoyed going to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
The older ones could help pick things they’re interested in!
Cruise – we went by price and schedule as we just wanted to enjoy the views and breeze, not make it a big educational Thing. Picked Ved-tt-s du Pont Neuf for proximity to what else we were doing, and it was great.
For the little ones, https://mackenziehoran.com/2024/05/14/tips-for-visiting-paris-with-little-kids/
Time Out has a Paris guide with kids–check their website. It’s helpful. I also like the Les Frenchies Youtube and FB groups for great crowdsourced suggestions for Paris.
The Museum of Hunting and Nature in the Marais is fun and kid-sized and would recommend–it’s fast but very cool.
Bon voyage!
we’re going and have been looking into this —
– the Seine river cruise is supposed to be nice
– you can book the elevator to go to the top of the eiffel tower instead of walking up
– there’s an amusement park an hour outside of paris that i’m blanking on – Asterix something. Also Disneyland Paris but ymmv.
– catacombs are supposed to be cool
– when i last went to paris we had an amazing, history-themed walking tour around paris — they have some of those for kids . there are also chocolate/dessert tours for families, i think.
Struggling with an odd problem and hoping someone can help. My partner plays an instrument recreationally. He’s played since he was a kid and recently started with lessons again necessitating more practice. Because of work, he can really only practice in the evenings. We have family dinner and then he plays while kids and I do other things. The problem is that I am really sensitive to noise and by the end of the day I am fried and the playing (and the volume of the playing) really wears on me.
We have a modest house and the instrument can’t be relocated. It is probably a little too powerful for the space tbh. Having him plug in with headphones isn’t an option. I find my anxiety ratcheting up over the evening because of the sensory overload I experience and end up even more tired and short on patience. I also find everyone else in the family has to raise voices to be heard over the music.
He loves this hobby and I love it for him. He practices when I am out of the house when possible and knows that I am sensitive to noise levels. I can’t reasonably be out every time he practices and there aren’t other places for him to practice.. There is one room that is far enough away to dampen the input for me but it’s not where kids want/need to be in the evenings.
Ideas or strategies for how to make this work?
Earplugs for you, and noise cancelling headphones if you have them. I wear earplugs at anything even remotely loud (kids’ games, restaurants, DEFINITELY concerts) and sometimes I double my bose headphones and the earplugs if it is super loud. What is the instrument? If brass, he should get a mute. Practice mutes are also available for woodwinds and strings. If percussion, he should get a practice pad instead of the actual instrument. If piano, he should get a keyboard that can plug in so he hears it but no one else does.
How does she then hear her children?
Why can’t he plug in and use headphones? That is how it goes in the performing arts high school in my city.
Can he go to the quiet room instead of everyone else?
I played violin and used a mute when I lived in an apartment and was very careful to not be the assh*le on this. Now you could get an electric version to practice with.
Loop headphones! As a fellow noise sensitive person with a noisy family, these make a huge difference. I can hear talking but it dulls out any machine noises, etc.
But you’ve also reaffirmed my opposition to my husband picking up the violin again. We got a free piano and I can just about tolerate that.
I recommend regular foam earplugs over Loop earplugs. Loop just has fancy marketing, but they’re not actually very good earplugs imo. Also they’re not going to cancel out an instrument.
I disagree. Have tried a variety of earplugs and I love my loops. I have small ears and they stay in and don’t hurt. They deaden noise but don’t cancel it, which is enough to take the ‘sensory’ edge off for me.
Can you share what the instrument is? There are a lot of possible solutions, but they vary based on the type and size of the instrument. (Saying this as the spouse of a musician who has what feels like all of the instruments.)
Baby grand piano.
Can the piano be sold and replaced by an electric piano?
I personally hate pianos (whose idea was playing melodies on a percussion instrument? I never want to hear this sound), but I still winced.
Oh for sure no. He LOVES this piano and is very important to him. Kids use it too.
Close the lid. The sound won’t travel as far.
You need to get an electric keyboard with a headphone jack. He doesn’t get to torture you. Also when he gets the keyboard he wakes up early and practices then instead of abandoning all the evening responsibility on you.
Oof, that is loud and not very mobile! But the good news is that there are sound mufflers for pianos that put a layer of felt between the hammers and the strings. You’ll need to have the conversation with him about it, obviously, but it can make a big difference.
Forgot to mention, you can also get sound-absorbing panels to hang in the room with the piano. My husband has them in his home studio and they really reduce the noise escaping the room!
I think these are the ones: https://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/B124SND–auralex-1-inch-propanel-b124-acoustic-wall-panel-sandstone
Oh, good to know. Thank you!
I am a musician and also sensitive to noise, so I am sympathetic to both positions here. It sounds as if the instrument is the piano? Two options I can think of are:
1. He practices in the morning while everyone else is getting ready. This probably means that he has to get up early and get ready quietly so he doesn’t wake everyone else up.
2. You invest in a really good electronic piano that he can practice with the volume on low. No, it’s not exactly the same thing as a real piano, but a good one is pretty close. Yes, it’s expensive.
We’ve definitely thought about a keyboard. We don’t have a place to set it up but I think this might be the best solution for everyone.
My husband got a Clavinova (weighted keys so it counts as practicing). It takes up a lot of space, but he can play it with headphones so that it’s mostly silent (just the sound of actually hitting the keys).
This is the way.
My city’s performing arts high school does this, with actual pianos used in the lead-up to recitals. These kids are heading to BFA programs and often perform and are in pit orchestras. If they can do it, an adult with a hobby can do it.
I have a small house and still managed to make space in my home office for a full-sized keyboard so I don’t have to practice at the piano in our living room. For a pianist I’d get one of the electronic pianos, not just a keyboard, but there are some low-profile ones that don’t take up any more space than a keyboard. It is worth making the space.
I used to have one of these when I lived in an apt. It was a Yamaha P60, but I bought it 20 years ago and I’m sure there’s a better one. Weighted keys, but it was nowhere near as fun to play as a real piano. I get that someone practicing to perform a job can practice just as well on a keyboard (in fact my teacher who lives in an apt has one, but he also practices in the music school), but the husband is presumably playing for enjoyment of the experience and music, and an electric keyboard just really doesn’t quite scratch that itch. Nice to have as compromise to cut down on the baby grand time, but it is not a replacement.
Yeah, I feel like there’s a “both/and” solution here — he plays the baby grand while you’re out but uses the electric keyboard with headphones some of all of the time when you’re home.
This is easier to answer if you tell us what the instrument is. Tech solutions to this issue vary considerably by instrument.
why can’t he go to the room that’s farther away? the one that’s not where the kids want/need to be. that’s my immediate question.
otherwise are you SURE headphones aren’t an option? What’s the instrument? I have friends with kids learning guitar, drums and piano (practices on a fancy keyboard) all of whom have headphone setups because of other kids doing homework.
I haven’t tried them but as for those loop earplugs (meant to diminish sound for people with noise sensitivity but not block it) follow me around, and maybe they’d help?
I am guessing if this was the kind of instrument dampers exist for, you all would have already found one but just in case: “saxophone” + “practice mute” will find it if it exists
A random option – some of my city libraries have music rooms with recording equipment that he could reserve and practice? and there’s a couple private studios that also rent pretty cheap practice space, ~$15/hr for just a room.
$15/hour adds up pretty quickly. That’s $450/month if you only practice an hour a day.
Can he reduce his weekday practice to once a week and then practice a lot on the weekend while you’re out of the house?
Is it possible to practice while the rest of the family is asleep with white noise?
It’s not nearly as effective to practice in big blocks every few days as it is to practice for a shorter time every day.
Ok but he’s a full
Time dad with a hobby not the next Carnegie hall soloist
+1
Eh, he’s been playing this instrument consistently his whole life. Music is a higher calling with societal value, unlike most dude hobbies like golf or biking. I am a musician who performs but doesn’t currently get paid, and my husband gladly picks up some slack at home when I’m in a heavy rehearsal or performance period. I do schedule my individual practice around getting dinner on the table and will sometimes skip it for family responsibilities, and I have turned down performance opportunities when they conflicted with attending our kid’s events, but my music-making is still a family priority.
Counter with there is also societal value in not letting our bodies fall apart.
And it’s net 0 to slightly negative if his practice benefits him while driving an adult batty (and untold # of kids / neighbors). I plan an instrument; child plays an instrument; spouse plays 2 instruments. It’s only a win it if is lovely to hear and when you want to hear that.
You know compromise makes marriages last and people get to have hobbies and interests. When you take those away, you just add to the resentment pile. I’d make this work. Get some noise canceling headphones or use the practice time to go take a walk.
Music is a much more annoying hobby than biking or golf. Your personal interest in music has no higher societal value than someone else’s personal interest in biking. Arguably biking has a higher societal value if it plays a role in preserving urban green spaces and helping with fighting climate change.
Come on, skillfully playing a musical instrument is a much greater accomplishment to achieve and sustain than riding a bike.
Sorry, golf is a super annoying hobby for the spouse. A round takes like 5 hours, including travel. I’d much rather listen to my husband practice piano for 30 min. Maybe OP and kid can take a walk after dinner now that it’s spring?
“Come on, skillfully playing a musical instrument is a much greater accomplishment to achieve and sustain than riding a bike.”
Yeah, no. You realize that bikes are not just ridden on a flat street surface? Sitting indoors and practicing music is not hard. It’s why children are taught it. Mountain biking is much more physically and mentally demanding. It’s cute that you think music is hard.
Probably, but this is just a hobby and it impacts his family.
My main hobby is fitness. If I was single and childfree, I would happily work out every day after work. I’m not, so twice a week at 5:30am it is.
Not an answer but this is triggering me about a roommate in college who decided to learn the bagpipes!
Oh lawd, that is a lot to put on a roommate!
So after dinner he does his hobby. What do you do? Chill with your own hobby? Or clean up after dinner prep for the next day kid baths and bed prep and parenting? On what planet does a parent have time to just peace out with a hobby daily after dinner?
This could be a totally valid concern depending on the family schedule/timing of bedtime, but also…I actually do get to peace out for a period of time most nights after dinner. I usually read a book then, but could also do something like yoga or an instrument. With the way our schedules work out, I’m the primary morning parent, so my husband takes point for a while after dinner and I take a little downtime. Then we both participate in the bed/bath routine. With a baby or young toddler you are probably going straight from dinner to the bedtime routine, but we fell into this pattern starting around age 3.
I noticed this too, Ugh.
I do sometimes do my own creative hobby but the sound makes it hard. He covers the mornings (even weekends) so I can workout (which is my primary hobby) and is also home to get kids off the bus. Sometimes I can put in earbuds for an audio book if the kids don’t need me.
Thank you to everyone for input!
This posted as anon but I’m OP :)
If he works from home, can he practice on his lunch hour? I do that a lot.
This is the best suggestion so far.
I also have an excellent Yamaha electric upright piano to use with headphones to not bother others.
This sounds like a drum set…. no tips but condolences. Our old neighbor had a drumset and kept it in a special attic room but we could still hear it in our house next door.
OK. We have a baby grand and *not* a not so modest house and you still can’t really escape it! Here are some ideas:
– Decide how much practice time he needs/ is reasonable per week
– Schedule his practice time when you are doing other things. For example, if you go to the gym, he can pay while you work out. He can play while you drop Kiddo at soccer practice and sit in the car with a book. He can play while you grocery shop. No, he doesn’t get a free pass on chores, but IMO I’d rather grocery shop than listen to someone practice piano for an hour! Also, he makes this up to you by doing kid/home chores at other times.
– Find time to be outside or go for a neighborhood walk
– Remember that this is a compromise. He may want 30 minutes a day but you can only give him 20 4 days a week. If he wants more time, he can take PTO or adjust work a little.
– Can he find a piano in a studio to practice on, or supplement practice with a keyboard and headphones? Perhaps split practice time between the full instrument and the more friendly to the ears one :)
This is a really thoughtful reply. Thank you.
And they are SO loud and powerful. Top is already down on ours. It is just so intense in sound which I think is great for the player. Alas, I am not one.
Having practice time with the baby grand and other practice time with a digital piano with headphones is another option. If he wants more practice time than you can make work on the baby grand.
Your need for peace is just as legitimate as his desire for practice time.
OK, I would totally suspect that you are my friend whose husband’s baby grand piano takes up the entire living room of their 1600-sf three-bedroom house, except that he practices at work or goes home during lunch to practice.
I mentioned this is a sub sub sub reply, but in case you don’t see, can you and kid(s) take a walk after dinner? Maybe he limits his practice to 30 min a few nights of the week (with more time on the weekends), and you can be outside for part of that before jumping into the bedtime routine
I have a baby grand piano, and my house is not huge, so my appreciation that my family “lets” me play is renewed. just in case it helps, here’s what works for us: Piano is in the living room. Fortunately we have a “closed concept” house, but it’s loud from anywhere on the main floor, including the primary bedroom. The TV and gaming computers are all in the basement, and I assume the sound is pretty deadened by the floor. Usually in the evenings, everyone else uses their screens, I play the piano. I also play after my kids go to bed (they have been trained to sleep through it from birth), their bedrooms are also on a different floor. I do not play if my husband wants to go to bed.
Practical fixes: large area rug, drapes and upholstered furniture + throw pillows in the room with the piano will make a huge difference. Keep the piano’s lid down. He can play with the una chorda pedal, too, to further reduce volume. (I do this when I’m practicing something particularly bombastic but don’t want to startle anyone awake).
probably not the answer you were looking for but half a gummy would help a lot
This whole post is making me super glad I did not marry a musician. Hearing someone practice all the time is so painful and annoying no matter how good they are.
Yikes! I’m also glad you didn’t marry a musician. I asked my husband if my practicing bothers him (married 16 years, he’s never mentioned it, though he does lightly complain that the piano takes up the whole living room) and was so relieved he said no without hesitation.
This may be a dumb question, but here goes. I have a BA. A friend left our firm (accounting) and did a masters degree in nursing. She was pre-med undergrad and may have had a lot of prereqs done. She loves it and has been very encouraging. I am in a different city now and IDK if I need to just look at masters level MSN programs since I have a BA or do a BSN as a second degree and then look later at MSN programs. I just feel like maybe with so much online, I should have more in-person training since I’ve never been a nurse before. Maybe it’s school-specific, but I don’t want to look totally clueless now that I have vowed to do this as soon as tax season quiets down.
There are masters in nursing for people who have unrelated BAs. You will likely have to take some prerequisites at a community college or local school. If you say where you are located, people might know the local in person options.
Huh? This is what obsessively reading schools’ websites is for, or asking admissions offices.
There is an accelerated BSN program for people who already have a Bachelors. You still have to take the prereqs, which could take up to two years because you can only take a couple classes a semester since each class is a prereq to a higher level class.
There is also what they call Master’s Entry Clinical Nursing (MECN) for people with a non-nursing Bachelors.
I’m honestly confused because it seems like several folks here are making career switches into nursing, right? No shade at all to op or anyone else. Thank goodness for nurses, really. But it seems odd to me to want to do something so physically and emotionally difficult mid career, and I can’t recall of anyone doing this is real life. In fact, I’ve seen people transition out of nursinginto more advanced specialties or into other professions. My aunts were nurses and man it looked like a really difficult job. Again, best of luck, but is this less unusual than I’d think?
I’d rather eat glass than be a nurse, but there are a lot of different ways to use a nursing degree and you can carve out a lot of flexibility. In my orbit, one friend is a nurse at a preschool where her son attends; her hours overlap perfectly with his and she has great work/life balance. Another is a nurse in a family medicine practice – she sees patients as a NP. One is a nurse in a low-income clinic — high stress, but it’s her calling. Another is an ER nurse who trades the extreme stress for a schedule where she works one week off, one week on and allows her to be fully present for her kids with part-time custody.
Maybe they want to do a minimum of bedside and immediately pursue becoming a NP, and then do easy flow chart work up for some specialist somewhere?
No, it’s our resident anxiety poster with the umpteenth question about going back to school for nursing.
All I have to say is I spend a couple of days in the ER/hospital earlier this week, and all the nurses were just fantastic. I could never do it but my goodness! Bless them all!!
I notice this too. Do these people realize how exhausting nursing is? Yes, it pays well, and serves humanity. But its not easy.
What’s the best way to prepare to get CIPP certified? I’m switching my legal practice and want to take the exam, and I do best with structured preparation. I’m seeing lots of ads for data privacy certificates at well-known institutions, but the course descriptions aren’t clear whether they are sufficient preparation for the CIPP exam.
I used a program through IAPP and it was good. Can do in person or online (at least you could at the time, which was pre-Covid). There is also a book, IIRC.
Just read the course book cover to cover. It’s really not that difficult of an exam.
Disappointed that my Old Navy khakis are worn out and developed some holes after 2 years, meanwhile very impressed that my Gap khakis are going strong after 6 years! Lesson learned that the cost per wear is that much lower when I pay a bit more.
That might be about the time when the items were manufactured more than about the cost. The more recently an item was manufactured, the shoddier the construction at any price point.
Ehh, ON and Gap are pretty much the same quality wise. They’re probably all made in the same overseas factory.
That is not my experience. I love Gap for jeans, trousers, shorts, etc. because they are consistently high quality for the price. ON seems to cheap out on the fabric and sewing quality, and the price has crept up to the point where the tradeoff isn’t worth it. Gap lasts several years for me and is a mainstay in my closet. I gave up on ON pants after too many that bagged out, faded, or frayed partway through one-season (if that).
They do seem more on par when it comes to tees and summer dresses, though.
I concur with the poster above. ON pants washed once are now too short on my daughter. They were perfectly fine in the store.
The GAP pants are great.
ON has turned into junk. It was not that great to begin with but the quality has really declined.
Home improvement question: Our house is roughly 30 years old. The previous owners of the house definitely were not proactive about replacing anything, so most everything in the house is original. The front of the house has a large atrium. The rooms in that area tend to run hotter or colder than the rest of the house depending on the season. Initially, I thought this was just a quirk we had to deal with because of the space, but now I’m wondering if this could be improved by replacing windows.
Several of the windows in the front of the house have cracks around the frame. The main atrium window also has condensation in it. I haven’t noticed any drafts or leaks. Do these windows need to be replaced, or at a minimum, would replacing the windows help with the temperature of the house? My concern is that if I get a window salesman here, they are just point blank going to tell me to replace them because of their age.
You’d probably get better information from an energy consultant. They are sometimes set up with nonprofits or your utility company may do referrals. For example they could check your house with an infrared camera, and figure out exactly where you have cold/warm air coming in.
Maybe but also consider the aesthetics – old original windows aren’t made anymore and they have distinct framing and glass that can’t be replicated with modern windows. I’ve solved this at our house with heavy curtains for winter and no curtains in the warmer months. They really do make a difference.
Have you tried shades? They keep cool air in and hot air out. Alterantively, a mini split could work if you can work it into the room- I’m not sure your window situation but basically any solution that isn’t $50k in replacing atrium windows will be cheaper!
Condensation between the panes of glass indicates the air seal has failed.
Cracks around the frame…do you mean gaps in the paint or caulk where the trim meets the wall? Actual cracks in the wall or frames themselves?
My electricity provider offers free home energy analysis. I would start there. They come in and look for things like broken window seals, use temperature sensors to check for walls with poor insulation, look at how your doors are weatherproofed, check the attic for proper R-value, etc.
Also, it is wild to me that someone would look down on the former owner of a house built just 30 years ago for not proactively replacing anything…
Our house is 30 years old and the windows and entry doors should have been replaced 15 years ago when they started to fail. If there’s moisture between the panes the windows should have been replaced.
Proactive was the operative word.
OP: Thanks– not looking down on the previous owner for not replacing windows. It was more meant that I can safely assume the windows are original to the house. (Most window sales people tell you they need to be replaced every 20 years, which is silly.)
I do look down on the previous owners for the number of leaks we found in the house.
I’m assuming when you say “atrium” that you mean there is a two-story ceiling height in part of the house? If so, are there ceiling fans to circulate the air?
Correct. Two story-ceiling at the entrance. Large window on the second story with a visible chandelier behind it– so putting blinds/shades up there would block the chandelier, and we would have no way of opening/closing them. That window is the one with condensation between the panes.
The other windows in the front of the house (first story) have blinds. The windows have a rounded part on top, so curtains/shades wouldn’t work. There are cracks in the drywall around the windows in a few (not all) of them. I don’t know if the cracks are just from settling or mean there is an issue with the window. And again– any salesperson would tell me to replace because of the age.
That’s not atrium–an atrium is an outdoor space with no roof in the middle of the house. You need to replace the failed window with condensation between the panes, but it’s also just the nature of a two-story foyer and/or an open floor plan that there will be temperature control issues because of how airflow and the sun affect those big cavernous spaces with big exterior walls. Ceiling fans in the adjoining rooms that are open to the foyer will help circulate air and mitigate hot/cold spots.
Drywall is not something you typically replace with age. And replacing windows doesn’t fix cracked drywall.
An energy consultant is going to help you, and you may want to ask them for a referral for someone to look at your drywall issue. That could be cosmetic (handyman or painter), could be structural (structural engineer & GC).
That’s what I was picturing. There are a lot of good suggestions here about getting an energy audit, and it sounds like the seal between the panes is broken, so repair or replacement is likely the way to go. You may want to add a solar film or coating to the windows to reduce heat in the summer. And I couldn’t tell from your answer, but if you don’t have ceiling fans in any rooms with the double-height ceiling, that would help manage the temperature in all seasons.
The large picture window needs replaced. The condensation means the seal between the two panes is broken.
The cracks in drywall is just the house settling. It’s cosmetic. You can diy spackle and paint.
Check the caulking on the outside. If it’s cracked, that will cause draft inside. I was advised to check outside caulk every 5 years and recaulk as needed. Lol. Not gonna happen.
My husband recaulked around a few windows (double hung with the half round on top), and that resolved the draft. I was going to replace bc of the draft, so that saved an unnecessary expense. It would have been pricey bc the half circle counts as it’s own window, and the double hung counts as another window.
They have blinds but I put in floor to ceiling curtains to help with insulation. It kinda looks dramatic, but not bad IMO.
The recaulking and curtains made a noticeable difference this winter. I checked with a thermal reader.
This is besides the point, but most window salespeople who come to your house are extremely overpriced. Like 4x the cost it should be.
Yea, some are straight up weasels.
My team assistant, who sits immediately outside my office, has started drenching herself in perfume, and it’s a very heady, heavy perfume. If it were something fresh (oceany, citrusy, soapy, mountain air), I think it wouldn’t be so bad, but the scent combined with the amount means I’ve been keeping my door shut all day to avoid a headache.
She reports to my boss, not me. Therefore, is it inappropriate for me to say something to her, and should I ask boss to do it instead? Or HR?
I had an assistant who got migraines from scents and she was very straight forward about it: “I’m sensitive to certain fragrances and I think your new perfume has been giving me headaches. Can you use less of it?” Personally, I appreciated the heads up and stopped wearing perfume while I worked with her.
Kudos to you for listening. I’ve never had a conversation like that go well, immediate defense mode
You should talk to her directly. Escalating before giving her even a chance to fix it is a bad look.
+10000 Be a normal human being about this.
For real.
Just talk to her! “Hey Jane, I’m so sorry, but I’ve realized that I have a strong sensitivity to your new fragrance. I thought I might get used to it, but no luck. Would you be willing to save that for weekends please? Again, I’m so sorry!”
Not that you NEED to apologize – it’s really oblivious of her! – but it can go a long way.
Agree; ask her to stop wearing perfume to work, not just wear less of it.
Scents are very problematic for some people and it is poor judgement on her part to inflict them on others who are stuck in the building with her for hours a day. Beyond just liking or not liking the scent, breathing is rather necessary to life and having your airways close up because she thinks it is acceptable to wear perfume in the office is not okay.
At least start with “would you mind wearing a bit less perfume? It’s lovely but I’m sensitive to scents”
+1 I’ve never gotten anyone to admit to wearing a scent even when they are clearly wearing it and I’m trying to compliment them! I can’t imagine anyone would admit to wearing perfume at work. I’d at least try to compliment or better yet say that it might be a new lotion or shampoo. Somehow if the product’s smell is incidental people are more comfortable admitting to using it.
that is so strange. I definitely have had a colleague who was getting compliments on her perfume and happily shared the brand.
As someone with scent triggered migraines, I have usually just been direct with the person but they also usually don’t care. So, if that is the case, I would speak with HR and ask about accommodations for a fragrance free office. It is covered as a reasonable accommodation and makes it less about one person’s unappealing choices and more about shared spaces.
off topic, but there are so many influencers who will absolutely douse themselves with perfume and then add another perfume or two on top of it, which is bizarre to me when you’ve paid good money for an expertly mixed product that already has layers. far, far from the “spritz and walk into it” idea that i grew up with.
Any solo attorneys have any advice or favorite resources for starting up?
I am going to pull the trigger this fall. Currently a small firm partner. I will be in a early retirement / FIRE situation, so I am less concerned about the financials and more concerned about what I need to do to get started. My husband and I own a commercial building already, so I will use that address for mail.
Does your bar association have resources?
The Georgia Bar has a CLE called and mething like Small Firm Boot camp that gives universal advice and also, last I checked, had a consultant on staff to help.
Your bar may have similar.
Mass LOMAP is really helpful–great resources. Even if you’re not in MA.
Tons of resources and webinars. Recommend. https://www.linkedin.com/company/masslomap/
Any recs for Maui?
Just booked a trip for June and I haven’t been in 15 years.
Staying near Black Rock beach.
Any hidden gem restaurants or pretty walks?
I like the coastal trail that starts at Kapalua and goes North to DTFleming Beach. It’s best in the morning, early, as it is sunny, but you walk by all the nicest parts of Kapalua.
Restaurants:
Plantation House at Kapalua
Leoda’s in Oluwalu for sandwiches/pie when you’re on the road
Mai Tais and pizza at Monkeypod
Happy Hour at Sea House at Napili
Happy Hour at the Beach Bar at Leilanis (they have great Hawaiian music from 3-5)
If you want splurgey, recommend Mama’s Fish House–if you arrive at 1045, you can often snag a seat at the bar. It’s spectacular.
Upcountry – like Hailiimaile General Store for lunch–really delish and then going to the Lavender Farm.
Always stop at Costco to stock your condo/hotel fridge and to top up your rental car before return.
If you are doing an evening sail, recommend Alui Nui or Teralani.
If you are snorkeling, the Magic Mermen has the best tour near where you’re staying. Make sure to download the snorkel report daily from The Snorkel Store or Snorkel Bob’s website, but if you don’t want to pay for a tour, Black Rock, Napili and Kapalua are great bets.
Have fun!
There’s a FB group called Maui Friends that has good suggestions for nearly everything.
Wow!!! Thank you so much