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Large gold hoops are definitely a trend right now, and I really like these super affordable ones from Petit Moments, an “emerging female-owned brand based in Los Angeles, CA.”
I love how the earrings are reminiscent of a twisted ribbon, and I think they're that rare kind of earring that's interesting enough to wear for a day or night out on the town, but also sedate enough to wear to the office.
The gold-plated earrings are $30 at Tuckernuck.
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Anon
From the morning thread, Writing Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott is the book you need to read if you have any dreams of being a writer. Recommended to me by a professor who also wrote books decades ago and then I heard her speak once (amazing). Is on Amazon. Is in libraries. Is cheaper than any writers’ retreat (which sounds fun, but writing is going to happen like my nephew is going to go to the NFL — even if he does, his career is likely 4 years, so he will need to do something else to keep a roof over his head; writing is no different). If you can’t do what the book recommends, save your money on anything more expensive. But it is just so good for writing as a discipline. I write (financial disclosure documents) and it has really, really helped me to think of how to communicate in writing better in a world that has given itself over to communicating via text and tweets.
Anon
I agree this is a great book!
I don’t really agree that a writing retreat is only useful if you’re going to be a professional author. Some of them obviously have more of an eye on publication, but there’s nothing wrong with doing something expensive and intensive to become better at a hobby. It’s okay to enjoy a hobby and try to deepen your skills, even if you’re not “the best”!
Anon
I think Anne Lamott would say a writing retreat is useful if you just want to focus on writing, and that being a pro writer and signing with an agent should be the last thing you’re thinking about.
Anon
Stephen King’s “On Writing” is another helpful one.
anon
I’m not an Elizabeth Gilbert fan in general, but Big Magic was excellent for digging into what it means to live a creative life.
anon
What a wonderful suggestion.
I am ordering it for someone close to me, who has slowly become a writer. I was charmed just reading the first page.
On this board, it seems like we all are writers, in some capacity… aren’t we?
Anonymous
composting question: if i have 100% cotton clothing, is it worth it to cut it into small pieces to go in the bin? (are they browns or greens?) if i’m thinking about lining some of those big silver raised beds (Vego Garden) could i layer some non-cut pieces at the bottom with sticks and so forth?
Cb
I’d layer some pieces at the bottom, it can’t hurt!
Anon
I wouldn’t even cut it – put it down flat as a weed barrier at the bottom of the raised bed.
Hildegarde
I think they’d take a long time to break down, but I don’t think putting them at the bottom would damage your plants at all. They would count as browns. And I agree with Anon at 2:59 that they’d make a good weed barrier if you don’t cut them.
Anon
Would you consider it a conflict of interest if a home visitor from a senior services agency told you (after moving a relative to a nursing home) that she dabbles in real estate and would love to sell your relative’s condo? I find it very creepy and unwelcome and a potential COI, but maybe I’m off-base. This woman also dropped the ball on several important tasks and I’m not feeling that kindly towards her, but even without that?
Anon
Yes, I would, but I also imagine that’s a job that doesn’t pay enough for her to afford not to have a side hustle.
Anon
Creepy and unwelcome. It would make me doubt their advice in the future since they have a potential conflict of interest (my recommendation is to get mom out of this house and into a facility because she needs that level of care, but also because I want to sell her house.)
Anon
Agreed, creepy, unwelcome and definitely a conflict. I’d let the services agency know what she said, how it made you feel and also report that the failed at several tasks in her job.
Anonymous
Yes I would. I would also be reporting it to the agency as well as mentioning the dropped balls.
We recently went through this and when agency person was asked a question about selling things we were told it is a conflict of interest and they do not get involved in any capacity, not even to recommend anyone.
Anon
I would report it to the management. It could be a mere overstep, or it could be symptomatic of someone who is taking advantage of her elderly patients.
Anon
No, I don’t see it as a conflict. I wouldn’t use her if she drops the ball though.
Anonymous
I absolutely hate my hair. It’s changing – I guess this happens every 7-ish years? – and has gone from “cute curly/wavy” to “looks a-mess wavy.” When it’s humid, it can’t stay straight, but products I’ve used most my adult life are weighing it down. I usually cut it into a bob with layers/movement, kinda like Condoleeza Rice… but am counting the weeks until it is long enough to pull back into a sad ponytail again. I’ve tried the Revlon blow dryer thing people like but it leaves my hair feeling greasy/weighted down even when I use no product. Help? Ideas? I hope to do the Janet Yellen / Christine Legrande hair in my older years but for now dont’ want to go that short…
Anon
Could it need a clarifying treatment? My stylist got me hooked on the little hardwater remedy crystal packets.
Anon
Details on the crystal packets, please!
Anon
Here’s a link! https://malibuc.com/products/hard-water-wellness-hair-remedy
OOO
Your hair is getting thinner and the products you typically use are now weighing your hair down. If your hair is greasy after blow drying with no product, maybe your shampoo and conditioner are too heavy/moisturizing. Look for shampoo and conditioner that is volumizing or for fine/thin hair. Or try letting your hair air dry naturally with just a little product applied to your ends only, to turn the frizz into waves/curls.
Anonymous
have you tried switching to curly girl friendly products? i often use this website to see if something is curly-girl friendly or not (and if it isn’t they tell you what might be concerning in the ingredients). i’ll take a picture of the ingredients on my phone, upload the text to the box, and then to the search — i’ll also grab the ingredients list from a product page on target or whatever.
isitcg.com
if you do this you might notice that a lot of your products are heavy on protein or humectants or something else and then you can google how to do a fix. definitely do a clarifying wash first if you haven’t in a while.
Anon
My hair texture has changed so much with peri and now menopause. I have more gray hairs, and even if I color them (which I’ve pretty much given up on,) their texture is so different than my non-gray hair. And where did all of this wavy hair come from? When I used to want big hair in the late 80s, my hair was stick straight and wouldn’t hold a curl. Now that I’d like to just have plain straight hair, my hair has decided that it will finally be big. WTF, hair?
All that to tell you that leave-in hair products are a big part of my life now. I use both curl cream and a siliconey serum, as well as a mask conditioner every time I wash. This would have been an absolute no back in my very straight, oily hair days, but now that my hair is doing *waves at head* whatever this is, I need ALL the products. Try all the categories and see what your hair is thirsting for. Venture into the curly hair / black hair product aisle, and if there’s someone there holding a product, ask her about it! In my experience, curly girlies LOVE to talk product.
NYNY
As I get more and more grey hair, I find that not only is the texture different, but also the grey hair is much dryer than my dark hair is/was. A lot of products sold to help with frizz and puffiness have keratin or protein in them, which turns out to be awful for my hair. All my hair wants is moisture and some oil to help it hang onto the moisture. So for a conditioning mask, Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair is bad, but Briogeo Superfoods Avocado & Kiwi Moisture Mask is great. Any time I look for new products, I have to watch out for words like keratin, protein and silk.
And you may want to try a clarifying shampoo to get rid of any product buildup. If I’ve accidentally used something with protein, my hair gets stiff and a little greasy looking. One wash with clarifying shampoo and a good, protein-free conditioner fixes it.
Runcible Spoon
Would a Keratin treatment help?
anon
Get some cheap shampoo to strip out all the build up and get it really clean. I normally mix in the classic Herbal Essences about once a week to get my hair really clean – you know the smell that will take you back to 1995. Also, consider putting one of the hard water filter shower heads in your shower if you have hard water.
Anonymous
how much of your wardrobe turns over from year to year? i keep most things for 5-10 years, i feel like, with maybe 15-30 or so new pieces in and old pieces out (per year).
Anon
There’s a core (suits, nice sweaters, favorite dresses) that persists. Pants have the most flux due to weight changes. Then some dresses that haven’t fit well with my peri-menopausal shape-shifting (everything heading towards the midsection). And pants based on style (jeggings got voted off the island pretty early on; some skinny jeans are just in there for the next snow day). I like a new tennis outfit each spring (often needing to size up) but I wear now for exercising generally. So the shape-shifting is what keeps me shopping vs trying to look very current. I like to wear what looks good on me and that changes more frequently than I’d like. At 33 I thought I was done shopping. Oh, well!
Anon
Unfortunately I keep gaining weight so I can’t keep a lot. Plus I get bored by certain pieces or styles.
Anonymous
My numbers change from year to year, and I’m often adding more than I’m tossing because I only toss things completely worn out and I like to add new pieces even when I’m not replacing something. So far this year I have tossed about 10 things and bought about 30.
Anon
Probably more recently as I’ve been on a much needed, doctor supervised weight loss journey. But even when my weight is steady I’m replacing things like pilly t shirts and stretched out jeans pretty much annually, and my most worn shoes need to be replaced regularly as well. 15-30 would be on the low side for me, if I’m doing an honest accounting.
With needing to replace a lot of my wardrobe at once over this past summer, I relied on gently used or new with tags on ebay & mercari as much as possible. At least for new pants and the occasional jacket. For t shirts and shoes, I buy new. And bras, wow are they expensive, but the old ones are just not even close to the right size.
Anon
Basically none. There are so many things I’d rather buy than clothes. I had to buy a bunch of new things in 2020/2021 due to Covid weight gain and the shift to WFH but in a more normal year, I buy basically no clothes except maybe a couple new t-shirts and sweaters.
anon
Other than straight replacement (e.g., jeans rip, new jeans), three to five new pieces per season, not counting the influx of hotel t-shirts and souvenir sweaters when I make a packing snafu.
Anonymous
YTD, 25 worn out, with purchase dates ranging from 2016-2020. Incoming about 15; I am trying to shrink my closet.
A
Sarees forever. Everything else anywhere between 1-10 years depending on size fluctuations and clothing quality.
Anonymous
I’m wondering about a career coach or recruiter or resume expert…does something exist for this situation?
A dear friend moved to the States from Africa a year ago when the security situation in his country deteriorated. He was upper class in his home country and is struggling to make ends meet here. Unfortunately, his field simply doesn’t translate in the US: humanitarian. He worked with all the major international organizations you can think of for 20+ years doing things like running refugee camps, negotiating with tribal leaders, etc. He has an MBA from a university in his home country. He arrived with such optimism, but he’s exhausted his network and no one has a job for him. I mean, he has networked his tail off and the connections are just dead ends. He’s applied for countless jobs with all the humanitarian agencies in NYC and DC and never hears a peep. His references respond with glowing recommendations. (I’ve seen them!) He finally got a job through his county’s welfare agency, but it’s as a clerk making minimum wage, and he has 5 children to feed. He drives a taxi at night to supplement his income.
Is there some entity that I can hire for him to help…somehow? Like someone to rework his resume so it’s targeted to management or logistics or something – things he’s skilled at but that aren’t obvious from his humanitarian resume at first read? Is there such a thing as a paid networker who’ll shop his resume around? ha. He has so many skills and is such a brilliant professional, but he can’t get a foothold. My heart breaks because his beautiful children don’t have enough to eat here in our land of plenty when they never had to worry about food in their home country (don’t get me started on SNAP benefits).
Anon
Human services agencies here in government, nonprofits, and hospitals seem like the next closest thing. Eldercare also and working with vulnerable adults in group homes and kids aging out of foster care. Has he looked at these sorts of things? Catholic Charities and Lutheran Social Services?
Anon
He’s thinking too “humanitarian,” which here, has a different skill set than he has. He should think more logistics and negotiation.
What does it mean to negotiate with tribal leaders? What did he do in running a refugee camp? People in America would think “intake” and “soft skills,” but it seems like you’re describing a diplomat or a logistics expert.
Anonymous
yeah, i think he has to think about basic skillset instead of “humanitarian.” i’d also suggest he take a look at fiverr to see if any of his MBA-level skills are things that he could turn into gig work (e.g., Excel-type work).
Anecdata
so to answer the question you actually asked – there are basically paid resume writers that do this kind of thing but quality varies /hugely/ – only thing I can think of is ask around in your network for recommendations of a specific person
a couple other things that might help
— this is really common, to struggle to find a job that has equivalent professional stature in the US. it can be a big ego hit, so it might help to know it’s almost certainly not just him
— imo, a lot of the big international aid agencies work with a more european approach to job application norms (multipage CVs, sometimes personal info like family status on resume, including letters of rec in initial application); that don’t actually translate well to US applications
— try “program management” or “project management” for jobs that likely have a skillset overlap while expanding out of the humanitarian sector
Anon
He could also look at corporate responsibility roles within large companies (think F500). At my company our CR team looks very highly on previous NGO experience.
Runcible Spoon
Does he speak English? It sounds like international development would be a good fit, but unfortunately, pay scale in that field in the United States is very low, other than for the executive-level leadership. A lot depends also on where he lives, with more opportunities likely in the usual big city locations, such as New York, Washington, DC, and Atlanta. With an MBA, he might consider the traditional immigrant avenue of operating a small business. Most professionally-trained immigrants are not able to secure equivalent jobs, so I agree with the other commenter that this struggle isn’t necessarily fair or personal.
Anon123
Look into Upwardly Global—they specialize in helping people in his situation!
anon
He might consider a masters in social work. He might qualify for grants or scholarships. Even if he had to take loans, if he worked in non-profits (which it sounds like he’ll do anyway), he could qualify for PSLF. With his skills and languages, he could start at a higher rate and advance into leadership roles quicker. He could even take MSW classes online so he could keep working at the same time until he earns his degree.
Anonymous
I actually worked in DC at a humanitarian agency for a while, and now work in local government.
– I’m assuming he’s already done this, but has he reached out to the HQ employees he worked with or for in the field? I’m assuming, at least for part of his career, he was a local hire for an NGO. Local staff often work with HQ staff (either remotely or with HQ staff cycling through field offices).
– The pay probably isn’t great, but there are hundreds of humanitarian NGOs. Most are located in DC / NYC, but there are ones literally everywhere (UMCOR in Atlanta, Mercycorps in Portland OR).
– When I left DC, I transitioned to working in county level emergency management (basically as close as I could get to humanitarian aid outside of DC/NYC). There are EM roles at all levels of government and NGOs. The American Red Cross chapters in my area are always hiring disaster relief staff (though the pay is not great).
– Could he work as an interpreter / translator? Or as an ESL teacher for immigrants from his country?
– In my area, there are a lot of immigrant / refugee resettlement jobs. HAIS is hiring near me, I know. It’s humanitarian adjacent, and would likely be immigrant friendly.
– Other adjacent jobs would be human / social services jobs, either at NGOs, nonprofits, or government.
There are a lot of humanitarian skills that are transferrable: project management, grant writing, budgets / financial management, logistics, customer service, community outreach, policy. Plus, if he worked in any specific cluster (food and nutrition, WASH, shelter) he could find jobs related to those (a food security non-profit if he worked in food and nutrition, for example).
If he’s in DC, NGOs or members or committees of congress may want a regional policy expert on staff. Likewise, there are professional travel security organizations (ISOS) who would likely want someone with his regional knowledge + professional background. I worked in travel security for a bit, and there are a lot of analyst / open source intel jobs in this field – whether in corporate travel security or working for a vendor like ISOS.
Finally, is he committed to staying in the US or would he be interested in going elsewhere overseas to work as a third country national (TCN) for an NGO? TCNs bridge the gap between HQ staff and local hires, they’re SMEs in their field, and they’re paid very well (and have housing as a benefit). He could likely leverage a TCN job into a HQ NGO job after a few years. TCN jobs usually are short term (weeks to a year or two), so either his family could stay here and he could take a position, or if the position is somewhere safe enough they could all temporarily relocate. Obviously, I don’t know his immigration status and the implications of leaving on that.
I’m sure he’s already looked into these suggestions, so I don’t want to imply that he hasn’t, I’m just spitballing something thoughts after over a decade in humanitarian aid, emergency management, and international affairs across multiple levels of government and several NGOs.
Anon
Policy research and analysis might be a fit.
Anonymous
Policy research and analysis is applied social science. You need quantitative research skills and preferably some qualitative skills as well. To do it well and advance beyond the entry level you need a PhD or equivalent methods training. This person’s skills sound much closer to public administration than public policy.
Anonymous
Long reply in mod, check back later!
gottabeanonsorry!
You should have him look into emergency management/climate readiness. Without giving too much detail and doxxing myself, I can tell you this is a emergent field with opportunities outside of non-profits (such as Big4/MBB consulting). Also check if your state/country has openings at FEMA or their local/municipal emergency management. Even something like emergency planner or shelter planning. I did some work setting up group lodging for wildfire victims on behalf/in collaboration with my government (non-USA), so I speak from experience. we really needed people with that experience and looked to UN-Habitat for a lot of our research.
Anonymous
Humanitarian turned emergency manager here: Typically you have to be a citizen to work for the federal government (or at least FEMA), so he’s probably not yet eligible for FEMA jobs. But, I don’t know of any local / state governments that have citizenship requirements. In fact, I work in local EM and I have had two coworkers get their citizenship while working in my office! EM jobs can be very hit or miss, in terms of responsibilities, expectations, and pay. For example, if he’s in DC, HSEMA pays well, but in NYC NYCEM does not pay well for the cost of living; my friend in a rural county makes 20k more than I do in a big city, but my suburban counterpart 10 miles away makes 15k less than I do. It’s also (surprisingly to those outside of the field) very competitive. But, humanitarian aid is 100% transferable to EM.
In addition to government, there are lots of NGOs that work in EM in the US (Red Cross, Salvation Army, Team Rubicon). Pay is generally worse than local government, but the work is more humanitarian in nature.
FEMA has an extensive library of online courses, some of those courses are required for pretty much any EM job so I would recommend that he take those and add to his resume. In person trainings are also usually free (via FEMA or TEEX), but can be hard to find a slot in.
Happy Boss’ Day!
I did it! After eight years my complaints to HR worked and I finally put an end to celebrating Boss’ Day in my office! It’s 4 pm and not a peep from our office managers about signing a card, organizing a potluck, or pitching in for a gift.
anon
You have done the Lord’s work.
Senior Attorney
Amen!!
Anon
Amen to that.
Anon
Not what I’d spend my political capital on, but you do you.
Anon
Okay . . . ?
Anon
Boss’ Day is a dumb made-up holiday that breeds resentment in staff. OP is 100% right to put an end to it.
Acorns
BLESS YOU
Runcible Spoon
Congratulations! To be honest, every day is Boss’s Day.
Anonymous
OK, I am a boss and I have to say that I 100% believe that no one should be forced to celebrate Boss Day or buy me anything or do anything for me. But there is a secret part of me that would be so happy if just once, someone wrote me a note that said, “You’re doing a great job managing me,” or “I really appreciate our 1:1s” or frankly even said, “You do these things well, but I would love to get more XYZ from you.” I work so hard to be a good manager and boss and there’s just no feedback on that stuff. So yes, congratulations on cancelling Boss Day – that’s definitely a good thing! But if you have a good boss, maybe take this or another opportunity to say “Hey, you’re doing a good job.”
anon
Fair enough. I agree that this really helps, when the focus of your days is often triaging conflicts and moderating complaints.
I try to do this more.
Agree with cancelling bosses day for sure.
Agree with giving good feedback to everyone when it is earned and due.
Anonymous
I’ve had precisely one good boss and I can assure you my whole team and I told her stuff like this all the time
Anonymous
anyone have any easy pork chop recipes? we do not have heavy cream but have lots of other basics.
Anon
Salt and pepper. Brown both sides. Meanwhile chop an onion. When chops are brown remove to a plate. Saute onion in the pan grease, then add 1 c long grain rice and 2 c liquid (I like 1/2 c white wine or vermount + 1 1/2 c chicken stock) and stir to mix. Simmer with lid on. The rice takes 20 minutes. At some point you’ll put the pork chops back on top of the rice, depending on how thick they are, to steam a bit with the rice to make sure they’re cooked through. For me, that tends to be the last 10 minutes.
I do this with chicken thighs too.
Additions to the rice – herbs fresh or dried, spice mixes, olives, veggies that take about 20 minutes to cook, or 10 minutes if you add them with the pork chop. Toppings, pretty much anything – I like arugula and pine nuts, chopped tomato if I have a fresh one. Homemade ranch on the side is always excellent here.
Runcible Spoon
Here you go, I did a Google search for “easy pork chop recipes” and this promising link popped up:
https://www.theendlessmeal.com/juicy-baked-pork-chops/#wprm-recipe-container-58630
Comments suggest cutting back on the proportions of spices and salt, and the recipe has instructions for adding baking time to bone-in pork chops. Enjoy!
Anon
I have a long comment in m-d so please check back. It’s a one pot meat and rice approach, not really a recipe.
Anony
I make my own version of Shake n Bake – panko, 2 tbsp cornmeal, table salt, garlic powder, onion powder, black pepper, and a bit of celery seed. Pat pork chops dry, rub with olive oil, bread/shake with above, then bake at 425 for 20ish minutes.
anon
This is what I do too, and often pan fry to make sure I don’t overcook them. I hate dry pork and it is so easy to over cook.
Sometimes simplest is best.
I try to make a bright/fruity salsa on the side. Like mango/tomatoes/lime/something with sweet/sour that compliments. And maybe mashed sweet potatoes. Lots of color around the dull meat!
Anonymous
I don’t get the best recipes, but when I have constraints (like not having basics) I occasionally ask ChatGPT for ideas. I tell it what I have and ask for a recipe idea.
Office with Windows
Given the option, would you move from an internal/no windows office to an office with an entire glass wall that lets in a lot of sunlight? The sunlight would shine on my face and I won’t have the option to pull down shades. I like sunlight but think it is probably better not to be exposed to sunlight all work day from a sun damage perspective. This job, which I do love, is aging me enough already without extra UV rays! Thoughts?
Acorns
What’s the weather like where you are? Windows can make HVAC control tricky (cold in winter, hot in summer). I would love a window but I would push hard for shades with a full wall of glass.
Anonymous
I would have to reluctantly say no. I love sunlight and being able to see out. But I’ve had that office, and I was boiling hot from all that solar heat. If you’re always freezing and wrapped in blankets, maybe that’s good news. For me, it was misery.
No way would I do it without blinds, though. I assume your job requires you to see a computer screen, which sounds impossible in those conditions.
Anon
Maybe your facilities team could apply a UV filter film to the window? That’d be cheaper than shades but still address the sun exposure issue.
Anon
+1.
anon
Yes, window and natural sunlight for me is best for resetting circadian clock, preventing the glooms in winter, and having something to look at occasionally at a distance to rest my eyes so I don’t strain them staring at a computer screen or near blank wall all day.
I already wear sunscreen every day on my face/neck and hands, so that isn’t an issue. Don’t you do this too? I would push back gently about getting some sort of blinds again just in case, or even rig something up myself in case I needed an occasional break. You can even turn away from the window at times/situate your desk.
And worst case scenario…. you move?
But I’ve never heard of anyone turning down sunlight/a window for skin issues. I’m high risk for skin cancer and with rosacea etc.. and I would still try to make it work.
Wear sunglasses if you have want to. And a hat. Why not? I would, if I enjoyed the perspective/sites/sun.
Anon
Absolutely not. I hate having glare in my face when working on a computer, so huge windows with no shades sounds like my worst nightmare.
Anonymous
Omg put your sunscreen on and get your daylight