Coffee Break: Polka-Dot Sling-Back Kitten-Heel Pumps
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Sales of note for 1/31/25:
- Ann Taylor – Suiting Event – 30% off suiting + 30% off tops
- Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20 off your $100+ purchase
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off winter layers
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off sweaters and pants
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – End of season clearance, extra 70% off markdown tops + extra 60% off all other markdowns
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
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- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
I have a work trip to Houston coming up… staying in the Galleria area. I will be in town for one dinner and one breakfast (both solo)– any dinner or breakfast recommendations? Any other activity or shopping recommendations?
Breakfast – Common Bond
Dinner – lots of choices. If you have a car, I would recommend leaving Galleria: Theodore Rex (call ASAP for reservations), Hugo’s, Xochi, UB Preserv
If you can’t leave The Galleria area, I would do Nobie or Le Colonial.
Thank you– and I could probably leave the Galleria area for a good enough place. I’ll just be ubering the whole time, so unless it’s an hour’s drive, it’s probably fine!
The Galleria area has some of the best restaurants in the city so you really can’t go wrong, but there is good food everywhere. For dinner in the Galleria area: Caracol (French fusion) is great, as is Peli Peli (South African fusion) and Café Annie (American and Southwestern).
Outside of the Galleria area, I recommend:
Dinner – Indika (Indian fusion), Niko Niko’s (Greek), Uchi (Japanese/Sushi), or Ninfa’s (Tex Mex)
Breakfast – Pondi Cheri (American Indian food fusion with a shockingly good breakfast selection), Snooze Eatery (American style breakfast), Common Bond (really good for light breakfast and in house made baked goods), Breakfast Klub (Chicken and Waffles), or Sweet Paris (Crepes)
You can’t go wrong with breakfast at Adair Kitchen. Do you have anything in particular in mind for dinner, shopping, and activities? Between the Galleria (the mall the Galleria area is named after) and Highland Village–a nearby high end outdoor shopping center–most stores are covered and there are many types of restaurants. Memorial Park and Buffalo Bayou Park are great if you want to spend time outside.
Caracol for dinner (galleria) – short walk down post oak – its the same dude who owns Hugo’s and Xochi
Adair Kitchen – Breakfast
Will you have a car?
If so I’d head more towards highland village / upper kirby:
Giacomo’s (italian)
Grace’s (Southern)
a’bouzy
Liberty kitchen (brunch / dinner)
Second Hugo’s although Xochi probably more out of your way
If you can stay in the Galleria area, there are lots of options up and down Post Oak Boulevard, there’s also a rooftop movie theater atop the new Whole Foods at Post Oak and San Felipe … still hot, humid, and rainy here though.
Good restaurants in the “Highland Village” section, heading East on Westheimer, including PF Changs, Escalantes (mexican), and before you get there, Le Peep has a great breakfast (also on Westheimer).
If you like to eat seafood, the now-chain Oceanaire connects to the Galleria. Just half a block west from the Galleria on Westheimer is Trulucks.
There’s also a well-touted Argentinian restaurant on Sage between Westheimer and Richmond … Argentina Cafe. There’s also Tango and Malbec right at the Galleria.
Alexander’s is a solid (but small) Greek restaurant at Hidalgo and Sage in a strip shopping center.
Seasons 52 is excellent, East of the Galleria. But noisy.
French Riveria Bakery is good for Breakfast. Chimney Rock between Richmond and Westheimer I think… I know it by sight. West of the Galleria.
Bloggers swear by Tiny Boxwoods for breakfast and brunch… it’s busiest Fri – Sun of course. Attached to a lovely landscaping company and nursery/garden center … a bit hard to find but worth it. Between the Galleria and River Oaks.
Kirans’ is the best Indian place, also close by.
https://www.opentable.com/houston/houston-galleria-restaurants
https://www.opentable.com/landmark/restaurants-near-the-galleria-349
https://www.opentable.com/landmark/restaurants-near-the-galleria-349
WELCOME!
I’m starting to get serious with a man who is divorced with kids – he has a decent co-parenting relationship with his ex. I have significantly more money and a higher paying job than he does. Ideally, this will end in happily ever after, with us being a family, me being close with his kids and maybe even having another kid. What should I be thinking about in terms of a pre-nup, ways to protect myself, ways to protect his kids, etc?
I think you should not borrow trouble and that you should worry about this when you need to. For now enjoy the relationship!
Agreed.
I think you pump the brakes a bit and take it a step at a time if things are just starting to get serious. Observe the relationship with his ex and with his kids a little more to see how and where you would fit in and how your relationship progresses and how you two as a couple approach things like vacations and holidays and how he approaches those as a dad. Get to know what his long-term goals are and if they match up with yours. Then you can talk with him and with an attorney about best ways to move forward.
I’d be very clear with him about what your expectations are as the step-mom, and what his expectations are of you. Are you going to be backup childcare for his kids if he’s working late/out of town/etc. and he has the kids? Or do they go back to their mom’s, or do he and their mom figure it out without involving you? Are you involved in parenting decisions for his kids? Don’t discount the emotional role you can/may take on if you move in with him and get married.
That’s just the emotional stuff – for the financial picture, if you move in together are you on the hook for bills relating to his kids? For example, if you want and can afford nicer clothes/vacations/schools/etc. based on your income does that then mean that he/his ex expect/want you to finance those things for their kids? I can see how that would get very messy or contentious quickly if YOUR bio-kid can go to private school/get a full ride to college but his bio-kids can’t based on his and his exes finances.
I’d do some research on what other people do, and have some frank conversations with him (and maybe a family therapist) about how you’ll navigate all this.
This is a biggie. If it all works out, there is a “household standard” for expenses, travel, schools, etc. You can treat all kids in a way that, while different, is fair. But being different AND unfair will only get you trouble (my Janie gets golf lessons at the country club, but Ron has to play baseball with a stick and a rock; it’s fine to spend lots of $ on infant room daycare while older kids are in public elementary school).
Also, travel expenses may shoot up — we often rented suites or houses b/c I didn’t want my teen stepson have to share rooms with us when I was still nursing at all hours. Too traumatizing all around!
I mean some of the things you list… the kids will need to get over themselves. They have two parents and those people can provide a certain standard of living. Potential kid will have two parents, and those two people can provide a possibly different standard of living. That’s life. A step parent doesn’t need to foot the bill for extravagant vacations and private school and college tuition (lol) for the step kids just because she can afford it for her own kid. Don’t make the step kids live in rags in the kitchen with only singing rats as friends, but you also don’t need to spend exactly the same amount of money on every kid out of some misplaced sense of fairness.
As someone who was a stepchild (though adopted by my stepfather), I could not disagree more. My dad absolutely did not distinguish, either with affection or with material goods, between me and my sister who was “his” biologically. You have no clue what it does to family relationships to have children living under the same roof where one gets [vacations, cars, college tuition] and the other gets the scraps.
Wow – I much agree with LaurenB that providing a higher standard of living to kids you may have with your husband than to his children from a prior relationship would be very damaging to all family relationships (kids with Dad, kids with you, among siblings, between you and your husband).
Hmmm. As a stepchild myself, I’m not sure I agree with these takes. The most important thing is to ensure you’re ready and able to take on the love and care for his children. Not that you’d replace his or the mother’s role, but you’ll be another loving figure in their lives. So work on that first, consider going to family therapy if you do decide to marry, and then consult an attorney if and when you get to that point. Stepchild-parent relationships are their own beautiful brand of parent-child relationships. I hope that you enjoy stepping into the role!
I disagree. It is never too early to plan, especially if you are the one with the buckaroos! I would start talking to him about these things now b/c he will have financial obligations to his kids for years to come, and you do not want to be initially viewed as just the “Mommy Warbucks” in the equation, with the kids coming to you when daddy points to you for the $$$$$. Tell him you want everything to work out fine, but you want initially (meaning for the first 5 years after you tie the knot) NOT to be looked to for any kind of $ for support of the kids. I had a situation where I was the one w/o the money (but with kids) and my SO told me that I should not look to him for $ for the first 5 years. It was a strained conversation b/c I actually did think that he might be a go to resource, but by bringing it out into the open, I realized that he was not to be considered Daddy Warbucks. We did marry, he did not adopt the kids, but he loosened up once he realized that the kids real daddy was not a role model, either financially or emotionally for them. He wound up paying for their college tuition (at a state school), so they were very grateful to him.
I’ve been in your shoes, so please listen carefully. If you can keep your mouth shut and have ZERO opinion about how he raises, disciplines (or not discipline), spends time/money with his kids then I say go for it and see what happens. I’m serious, you can have NO opinion and you can’t let it bother you when he does something re: his kids that you don’t agree with. This is fairly easy to do UNTIL you have a kid of your own with him, then you start to see how his kids have different rules than yours. This is incredibly hard. If you’re not planning to have kids with him, then you can probably get there. But the fact that you want to add a kid to the mix makes it a lot harder. This could end disastrously for you and a kid you have with him. Honestly, if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t. My husband feels so guilty about his first kids that he gives them everything and then my kid gets the shaft. He feels that b/c he sees our kid every day and our kid doesn’t have divorced parents, he needs to make it up to his other kids by giving them everything they want, no rules and they play him like a fiddle. The moment I even hint that he’s being played or that it’s unfair to our kid, it’s a huge fight.
A highly respected associate in my firm just gave 30 days notice. I am at a small firm (20 attorneys) with only 3 associates. She is leaving for a different firm (she will be specializing in a different field than she has worked in here). No direct competition between our firms. My other partners are incredibly angry – she told us earlier this year she was getting headhunted but not leaving. They want to let her go at the end of the week mostly out of anger. We could use her in real ways in the next month, but before I stand up for her staying wanted to get some thoughts on what you would do (as a partner or what you would want as the associate).
If she’s an associate and is not taking any clients (and it doesn’t sound like there’s even risk of that), having her stay through the entire notice period isn’t really risky. You may not get great work product out of her as a short timer, but if there are deadlines or appearances she was handling, no reason to make it harder on yourselves.
This seems harsh and I’m not sure why your partners are so angry. Don’t people in law firms move around all the time? This has always been more or less the name of the game in my experience, and I suspect she gave longer notice out of courtesy, as is common in law. Do your partners really want to burn that bridge to save three weeks of pay? If she has a relationship with clients and any files on her plate right now, I would push on keeping her on so she can ensure a smooth transition.
What do they mean that they want to “let her go?” That’s a euphemism for “fired,” and they can’t fire her because she’s already leaving. What does her employment agreement say as far as how long she will get paid? If I were the associate, as long as I get paid for the amount of time specified in the contract (as in, if my contract requires I give two weeks notice, and I therefore get paid for that two weeks since I gave you that much notice), you can let me leave tomorrow and I won’t care a bit. She gave 30 days notice to be polite and as a courtesy to you and your firm, but as long as she is paid what she’s due, I’m willing to bet she’ll happily take the time off in between jobs. The other issue is for your firm, and while you say you could use her a lot in the next month, it sounds like your other partners are so mad that they probably won’t.
This assumes that an employment agreement exists. Both of my attorney jobs (boutique firm of approx 20 attorneys, in house at major corporation) have been “at will” and all I got were formal offer letters detailing the terms of employment. If this is the case, she would only be paid for days actually worked.
In the US, associates don’t have employment agreements. (There may be some exception to this but I’ve never heard of it.)
Seems very shortsighted on the part of your colleagues, especially given that she is not in a competing field. If she is highly respected and someone comes to her for help her new firm doesn’t provide, what incentive would she have to recommend your firm to that client? The legal field is a small world and burning this bridge feels very “He didn’t dump me, I didn’t dumped him” – bitter and juvenile. The shorter-term benefit is that she can assist in the next month and transition her matters so that the clients are more likely to stay and not feel they’ve been left out in the cold. During that time, you can start interviewing new associates, too, so that you aren’t trying to fill that gap at the same time as sorting through her files.
From her perspective, she may not mind (and may even want) the time off and may have prepared for it, but it may mean she is unpaid and without insurance, which isn’t ideal, and would leave a bitter taste in her mouth for the next three days. I’d much rather have her assistance in transitioning her matters while you are both on good terms.
I’m a partner. Your partners’ anger is inappropriate. This isn’t personal – it’s business, and she hasn’t wronged anyone by deciding to leave. We always recommend that associates who’ve been fired show as much grace and professionalism as possible prior to departing; your partners should do no less. Remind them that your other associates will look at how this is handled and evaluate whether this is a place they want to keep working.
If she were going to a competitor, letting her go early would make sense. Since she isn’t, if it makes business sense for her to stay, then advocate for it – but don’t overestimate the degree of work you’ll get out of her during that month. Realistically, her heart won’t be in it anymore. And if she does stay, don’t do what my old firm did and have her closing a deal on her last day so that she can’t even have a goodbye lunch with her close colleagues.
I think she was stupid to give 30 days notice, and should have expected that she could get asked to leave earlier. (and who know, maybe she knows that this is a possibility) Either way, I suspect that she is checked out, so I think it is fine to ask her to leave at the end of the week.
She wasn’t stupid to do that unless she can’t pay her rent without the 30 days of pay. Absent that, she was just being polite.
I think this is unfair. I have quit several legal job in my 20 year career and never once “checked out”. In fact, in every case except one I was working my tail off right until the end to be sure everything got done and the transition memos had everything that might be needed. In my current firm that has been my experience with everyone who has left.
In my one exception, they let me go early and then had to call and ask me a question because they did not give me time to finish my memos. I was soooo tempted to not return the call, but decided to be the bigger person. The idea that people who have given notice are just marking time and collecting a paycheck and not really working does not (in my experience) really apply to attorneys.
You’re a partner right? Yes of course you stick up for her working her 30 days. You’ve said they don’t want her around solely out of anger/spite and that you could really use the help. Maybe you can even hire someone new in that time and have her train the new person. Your partners are being ridiculous for being angry at this woman (and, ahem, bet they wouldn’t be angry at a man).
Also – this woman is now a potential referral source. Treat her as such and encourage your partners to do the same.
OP here – thanks, and yes, although junior on the seniority tier. We have only fired associates in the past so I think the first “spurn” is smarting and hurting egos.
I had a situation like this at my former firm – an associate gave notice for the first time, and the partners took it as a personal slight and got super vindictive about it. It was a bit of a wake-up call for the rest of us as to how toxic and weird the environment was. And after that, they were SUPER nosy every time you took a day off, because they were convinced you were doing so to interview elsewhere. Your firm needs to think about the message they’re sending here.
Yup. I was somewhere where a particular partner got really weird and mean about an associate giving notice, and it informed how the rest of us gave our notice when the time came. (And we all eventually left, because it was a weird and toxic place.)
Same! I gave the standard notice and the head of the department said, “your last day can be Friday” (it was Wednesday) so I had 2.5 days to clean up and transition. The managing partner was surprised. Evausr I was well liked and the department head was just being a jerk. A lot of ppl left shortly after me too….
Given the facts, I’d let her stay through her notice period. Firing her out of anger or making life difficult for her is a good way to make sure that no one ever again is generous with the amount of notice they provide or is honest about their career goals.
Tell the other partners to get over it and let her work out her notice period.
Pay her for 30 days and let her not work. Because otherwise no other associate is ever giving you any notice.
I gave 4 weeks’ notice and my boutique firm was super lovely about it. I did not check out. On my last day, I worked until almost midnight and was the last to leave the office. I remember feeling rather sad that there was nobody to say goodbye to me on my last day.
When I ended up in-house later, I was the only one who WANTED to hire their old firm for outside counsel support.
Five years later, my firm is making multiple seven figures off my company. Never would have happened without me; never would have happened if the firm had not treated me well.
Whatever she’s working on someone else needs to be got up to speed, and that’s going to take some time. They’ll be cutting off their noses to spite their faces if they refuse to take at least a couple of weeks for her to transition her projects. Maybe y’all don’t need 30 days, but cutting her loose with no transition is a mistake.
Anecdata: SO recently quit his job, not to go to a competitor, and said that he would give them as much transition time as they felt they needed (he suggested 2 weeks). They said, “we don’t need any today is your last day.” Now, 2 months later, they have a ton of questions about projects he was working on that could and should have been answered during the 2 weeks he offered them. He’s now very busy with other opportunities and doesn’t have time to devote to answering their myriad questions, and even if he did, isn’t really that interested in spending more than a couple of hours training a replacement for free. Take a look at how much time you think you need to transition this associate’s projects and use at least that much.
+1 there has to be a statue of limitations for these type of requests from an old company.
I got a call today from my former colleague (quit several months ago, gave two weeks, which they accepted) with some inane questions about a project I worked on nearly a year ago. The answers would have been documented in some master project files, but it was probably easier to call me than look for them. Next time I need to nicely say, “I don’t dislike you, I’m happy to try to help in a true emergency, but you could have found this with 10 minutes of looking”.
This is Exhibit A in the Lawyers are sh!tty business people catalog. Incredibly short sighted and selfish (without even thinking that through). One of the best things you can do is to make sure the departing associate understands that you are not part of the selfish bs. Who knows–she may refer work to you, or you may need to jump ship and have her as an ally. Either way–think this through as a business transaction–not as a slight.
It also is an opportunity for the firm to evaluate itself. How is it doing in terms of culture, workload, compensation etc… Is this a situation that the firm contributed to the departure–or is this one in which the departure would have happened regardless. This is a huge evaluation checkpoint for the future. Don’t miss out on it.
Is there a good way to ask for a promotion in a very casual workplace (15 people office, <100 people company).
I was hired 6 months ago for a fairly complex set of projects/a large ish mandate.
Over the last 3 or so months, I've been handed additional portfolios of projects pretty much every time i met with my manager.
In my function,handing 3-4 projects is leveled as Senior, and I'm currently at 7 or 8 and surprisingly delivering on time with all these teams.
And all except one of these projects has been tagged as complex.
My title is "function-original mandate", not even sr. Function and most definitely not lead "function" and I'm not sure how to ask for the title to reflect what my job is.
As additional complexity, my manager is not very skilled at feedback and growth conversations-he used by review block to add a portfolio to my workload
We don't have HR and while the company is young, a lot of the team goes back a long way and I'm definitely a newcomer.
Normally, when my responsibilities grew, I'd focus on money, but I'd like to leave in a year or so and am in a geography where salaries are highly title dependent, so a better title would actually serve me better in the long run.
Not sure of your company’s culture, but 6 mos seems very early for a title change. Most hires are still trying to learn the job at that point (at least in my tech area). I’d also see if you can get a sense of how the promotion system typically works. I’ve worked at places where changes are very much aligned with mid year or end year reviews and pretty much someone had to have a competing offer in hand to see anything different. If there is any way to optimize timing–like a review coming up–I’d try to take advantage. Whenever you do have the discussion, I’d caution you not to lead with the quantity of projects as you noted here. In my experience, you’ll have much better success if you can focus more on substance of the work (is there some substantial new skill you’ve had to obtain to do the work, or is it primarily taking on increased workload doing the same type of work?). I’d also say it’s not unusual for work quantity and complexity to ramp up in your first year as you get more familiar with things–so tread carefully.
I disagree with this take. It’s a small company without HR, so this sort of thing likely works pretty informally (e.g., you don’t need to wait for your next review). Without HR, they also likely don’t have specific titles tied to specific salary bands, etc. so bumping up your title might be easy for your manager to do. From your manager’s perspective, you’ve been a fantastic hire and this would be an easy way to make sure you stay happy (without even having to give you a raise!). The key is to make that clear in how you pitch it to your boss. I’d start out mentioning it casually as hey I’m doing all these projects and hitting it out of the park, I’m really enjoying the work but I’m realizing my title doesn’t match up with other people who are doing similar work. And then let him know what new title you’re interested in and ask how the process would work. You might be surprised at how easy it is.
Any recs for things to see/do in Bethany Beach, DE? Traveling for work.
The ocean! Also, there is a boardwalk with little shops, a few restaurants, and ice cream places. Last time I was there I had a nice dinner at Bluecoast Seafood restaurant, which is not right on the boardwalk. But really, other than the beach and a few restaurants and shops, there’s not a whole lot going on in Bethany.
There is a relatively good sushi place in S. Bethany (Misaki), which is just a few miles south of Bethany Beach. Rehobeth Beach isn’t too far away and has very fancy shops, more places to eat, and some pretty darn good outlet malls. Perucci’s is relatively close and good Italian food (it’s in Millville which is just up 26). Lewes isn’t too far away either and it’s a cute place to spend an afternoon if you like old buildings.
The summer-vacation season is almost over, so a lot of places may be shutting down/have shorter hours.
I am looking for some jogger pants that work for winters and look stylish. I don’t plan to wear them to work but want them to look descent while out and about on the weekend. Any recommendations?
I love my Athleta Flux Jogger 2.0 in black.
oiselle has nice stuff
Suggestions for what to wear to a birthday party that’s on a boat (fancy schooner on the ocean)? Should I just wear jeans and a top and then a jacket because of course it will be cold on the water? Can I wear sneakers? (don’t own any boat shoes) I go on boats in the summer, but that’s more like shorts, flannel shirt, and life jacket outfits.
LJ LJ LJ!
What are you talking about? This is not the forum for private jokes, especially if they are not funny!
LOL I think it means life jacket.
1) She means Leather Jacket.
2) This is definitely a forum for private jokes. They abound here and many of us enjoy them!
3) I highly suspect you are a troll.
Jeans, a top, and jacket sound good to me. For shoes, I’d probably opt for cute boots or booties, or flats that’ll cover my feet and keep them warm if have something like that, otherwise sneakers are probably fine as long as they’re in good condition and mesh well with the rest of your outfit. Plain, black sneakers come to mind, as do clean Keds or Converse, but neon colored running shoes not so much.
Is it the evening? Jeans seem a little casual unless it’s a daytime event.
Lots of layers because it will be cold and windy! And sneakers sound good to me.
Generally no heels or otherwise abrasive soles on boats – so flats, rubber healed booties or sneakers. And something warm because it might be windy. If the event is dressy, maybe slightly nicer pants (as opposed to jeans), a nice top, and a cute jacket? You could bring a cute scarf as an additional layer if you are worried about the cold.
PSA: I find Red Fleece shoes to be surprisingly stiff (though the last time I tried any on was about a year ago, so YMMV). Recommend only ordering with free shipping/returns (i.e., ShopRunner).
I do like Red Fleece clothing, it’s not the GREATEST quality but if you watch the length (can get too short/flippy) and size up (I’m usually 2 sizes bigger in skirts/pants than my JCrew size) and pass by some of the obviously-for-juniors stuff, there’s solid workhorse pieces.