Coffee Break: Merino Wrap Coat

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beige wrap coat in merino wool

This coat caught my eye when I was looking at Quince recently — it looks so elegant! It actually reminds me a lot of the Cuyana coat I've admired for years.

Looking through their coat section in general I'm really impressed — in addition to a lot of affordable leather, puffers, featherless puffers, they also have Italian wool coats (this one or this one look like great starter coats if you're just building your work wardrobe!), as well as numerous cashmere coats.

This merino wool coat packs a statement, but at a really affordable price: $180. (There are longer versions for a mere $20 more.)

The coat comes in three colors, in sizes XS-XL.

Some of our favorite classic coats for work as of 2025 include J.Crew, Sam Edelman, Aritzia, L.L.Bean, Quince, and Cole Haan. On the splurgier side, do check out Mackage, Soia & Kyo, Eileen Fisher, Fleurette, and Cinzia Rocca. We've also rounded up our favorite washable winter coats!

Sales of note for 2/7/25:

  • Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
  • Boden – 15% off new season styles
  • Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
  • J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+

144 Comments

  1. I have this coat, as well as their long cashmere wrap coat. The merino coat feels almost identical to the cashmere in softness! Highly recommend.

    1. I always worry my neck would be too cold in a wrap coat, but a scarf would look awkward. I love the look though.

      1. I think a big scarf that’s more like a stole would work. You just put a lot of it in the front.

    2. That’s good to know because I’ve been eyeing this. I wish the Quince colors weren’t so drab.

  2. Rate my proposed outfit. Fitted cream sweater, black silk bias-cut skirt, either tall suede boots or dressy black sandals depending on temperature. I preferred the skirt in grey, but it’s sold out. I am mid-40s, small, with a pixie cut. The outfit will be worn to the theatre and classical concerts. Is it current and cute, decades out of date, or fashion victim?

    1. Shiny black fabric is tough to get right. It can read very New Years Eve. Especially when paired with cream that skirt is going to look out of place beyond December and January. As to whether this looks dated it depends. What shape are the toe and heel of the boots? What kind of neckline does the sweater have?

      1. All of NYC is in skirts just like this right now, paired with unexpected tops (sweaters, blazers, denim shirts, etc) and boots or loafers.

        OP, your outfit sounds perfect!

    2. How do you feel in it? One of the things I love most about going to live classical concerts and the theatre is that you can dress up or not and it’s a fairly fad-free space. Sometimes I go all out because I don’t have many reasons to dress up. Other times I’m in a hurry coming from somewhere else and it’s jeans and a flannel shirt. I love the little old ladies who go full gala outfit in dresses and jewelry they’ve had since the 70s mixing in the lobby with kids and teens some of whom just came from sports practice, college students trying to have a fancy night out, etc. Last weekend there was an elderly man with one of the most exquisitely tailored suits I’ve ever seen in the wild. That suit was easily my parents’ age and he rocked it.
      Your outfit sounds lovely and if it helps you have an enjoyable evening, then it’s perfect. Hope it’s a great concert!

        1. A lot of us do not go to a ton of major classical performances / opera. So sure, why the heck not have one beautiful outfit and wear it all the time (eg. 4-10 times a year or whatever).

          OP – you would look great, and be one of the better dressed people at the concerts, as you know. This would be a nighttime concert look, yes? As you know, most classical music / theater attendees don’t dress up much anymore. But if it fits you well and you love it, sounds good to me.

    3. The outfit as a whole will be a lot more current if you choose an oversize – or at least not fitted – sweater.

      As long as the skirt i midi or longer it’s current.

      How tall are your tall boots? You will be more current with ankle boots than knee highs. You will be more current with white sneakers than riding style boots.

      The easiest thing to change for current is the sweater. Half tuck oversize. You can tuck and drape into a waist belt if you can’t tuck into the skirt successfully

      1. Do not wear white sneakers to classical concerts and the theater. I don’t care if it’s “more current” in someone’s eyes, it’s edging not appropriate for the occasion or likely the venue for dinner.

        Your outfit sounds perfect.

        1. People wear everything from jeans and sneakers to formal gowns to the theatre in my city. I don’t think there’s really a dress code anymore.

        2. Anon 2:35 again

          Where I live you can absolutely wear white (fashion) sneakers to the theatre, that’s a know your city thing.

          At the opera I see a few more formal outfits, but even at the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden, outfits will include everything from tuxedos and formal dresses to l jeans with a comfy cardi, at the same performance.

        3. There’s an obsession with “current” that is detrimental to how a person actually looks in clothes.

          1. +1. And what’s actually appropriate. OP’s outfit sounds perfect for the occasion.

            Look, some of us look sloppy and terrible in an oversized sweater, trends be damned.

        4. Of course the OP will not wear white sneakers. She knows better.
          I suspect you do not go to classical music/opera/theater performances often.

          And a woman in her 40s, wearing a silk black skirt and cream sweater to the symphony should not be wearing clean white grandpa sneakers. Anywhere.

          1. I go to classical concerts all the time. Different poster here. This “I suspect you don’t go to classical music concerts” snobbery makes me think you’re the one who doesn’t. People wear all manner of things to classical music concerts, including the opera and ballet, which I also attend. I’ve seen plenty of sneakers. I’ve also seen people who hauled their prom dress out of storage and wore that. There are no “don’ts” so please don’t spread that nonsense. It’s about the music.

          2. Yes, but you are missing the point.
            The OP cares about what she is wearing.
            Those you are talking about, don’t care. Or they are tourists. Or comfort is king.

            I go to these concerts all the time, and miss the days when people dressed more.

          3. I guess it depends on what you’d consider often? I go to the opera and theatre around twenty nights a year. I don’t particularly enjoy symphonies, though, prefer opera.

        5. The handwringing over fashion sneakers is very weird to me on a fashion blog. People have now been wearing clean, lower profile sneakers with more formal items for years. This didn’t say grandpa sneakers!

          The theatre and symphony events in my city are business casual, at best, for most people. We no longer have to wear gloves, corsets, and silk ribbons when exiting the carriages.

          Regarding the skirt, I’m curious what length it is. I have a silky, bias cut black midi skirt that gets LOADS of compliments every time I wear it. And I do wear with a huge variety of shirts from sweaters, up to nice blouses. I also wear any shoes from ballet flats to SNEAKERS to Doc Marten boots. It’s one of my most versatile pieces. I preemptively love OP’s outfit.

          1. There’s also just looking like a dork. Skip the fat white sneakers unless you need them. There’s a reason you don’t see as many folks wearing them anymore.

          2. I’m just not seeing where anyone mentioned that she should consider fat white sneakers!

          3. I earlier poster suggested white sneakers. So let’s face it – black silk skirt with white sneakers of today’s (or yesterday’s) common styles means your feet will naturally look bigger. The eye can’t help but being drawn to it due to the contrast. There are also some of us that are tall and/or have larger or wider feet, and solid white sneakers are just not a good look. White sneakers just come off as clunky, not elegant. OPs outfit sounds simple chic.

            And if you ware going to all the trouble of the OP to give the detail of her preferred outfit, you wouldn’t wear white (which will appear bright) sneakers with a cream sweater.

    4. I feel like I’ve seen a lot of outfits pairing a bias cut or silky midi skirt with a chunkier sweater. I like the look, it’s a nice mix of texture. I think it would be totally appropriate for your event.

      1. I went to a concert recently and my outfit was a heavy/chunky cream sweater, vintage Pendleton plaid pleated wool skirt, black tall boots and a cream long wool coat. This particular hall tends to be chilly and it’s already quite cold here.
        Another hall in a somewhat nearby city keeps the temp much higher and I wore a lighter dress and tights. I could have worn a tank top and shorts and been comfortable. That place is toasty!

    5. I am not a huge fan of cream and black – can look sort of matronly. A skirt in olive or maroon would be beautiful!

    6. Your outfit sounds terrific, and if you feel like a million bucks in it, so much the better! Enjoy!

  3. Has anyone done Gottman couples counseling? Married 10 years, 2 kids, some communication patterns have emerged that are proving really hard to break free of. I think we still like each other, but I don’t think it’s supposed to be this hard.

    1. Sorry, but from what you’ve said, you really just need the number of a good divorce lawyer, a separate bank account, and a go bag for you and the kids. Send him a text once you are in a safe place. You’ll feel better when the abuse is over and this way your children will not be permanently damaged. It may be hard to hear when you are suffering from the cycle of gaslighting and love bombing and disorientation caused by his narcissistic behavior patterns, but once you’ve escaped you will have a clear view of what he has been doing to you all these years.

        1. I think this is supposed to be satire, in response to the discussion yesterday about the yeller.

      1. Oh wow. Making fun of people who provide advice to women who might be in abusive situations is…… a choice.

        I hope you feel better now.

        1. Or it is making fun of the patterns of projection by commenters, the overuse of trendy pseudo-psychology terms here, and the adding of facts to posts.

    2. We did; the counselor was a nightmare, so I stopped. (She was unbelievably sexist and also quite full of herself.)

      It turned me off from Gottman, although it’s allegedly supposed to be good.

      1. Same experience, but I feel it still helped since it gave my husband and I a common enemy basically and reminded us of our shared values which were clearly not shared by our counselor.

        I think a lot of therapists are just not good though; I don’t know if it had anything to do with Gottman.

        1. Most therapists are just not good. Members of my family have found exactly two halfway decent therapists out of seven. Three were just very expensive chitchats and two were actively harmful. The two sort of good ones provided a few useful insights but not nearly enough to justify the time and expense, and then of course most people who need therapy are not going to implement any of the suggestions they are given. Therapy is a racket if you want actual progress. I suppose it’s fine if you enjoy endless navel-gazing.

          1. Of the five I have talked with:
            One literally would not listen to me when I told her I was fine with cash pay and her rates. By the third time she condescendingly repeated herself at me, I hung up on her.

            One charged $400/hour but seemed great.

            One was great.

            One was okay, but definitely rammed everything into a pre-planned framework.

            One sucked so hard, I needed to talk to a friend who is a therapist about how and it was, in order to have the courage to try therapy again.

        2. Heh. I wish that had happened. Our marriage might have been doomed from the start, but a few things she did really accelerated the decline.

      2. I’ve had mostly good experiences with therapists, but I am wary of marriage counselors because I feel like they’d just side with my husband. He’s not a “turn on the charm” kind of guy, but he does do all the cooking and isn’t a huge slob, which makes him more of an equal partner than practically any other middle-aged guy I know.

    3. Not Gottman but couples counseling at the 10 year mark with 2 kids was probably what kept us married when we went through Covid 2 years later. Good job for being proactive and investing in your relationship!

    4. We did Gottman counseling right before the kids were born and thought it was helpful. If your kids are on the young side, it’s just a really, really tough time in your lives as you are physically exhausted every day. Have you considered getting a babysitter and going out on regular date nights? Or taking a trip away from the kids to reconnect? Do you and your spouse each have time to “fill your cup”? I think those things enabled us to get through the hard stuff, assuming you still want to be married. I highly recommend that you ask around for a good counselor or reach out to a faith leader if you are religious. Wishing you good things.

    5. Yes, I insisted on it and husband agreed after we’d had like, two or three blow out fights in a two month period. I don’t know how much it helped, although I have no complaints about the counselor. My husband struggles with the idea of therapy in the first place, and I feel like we didn’t “practice” their suggestions enough to be improved by it. We eventually stopped it when we’d had some long peaceful stretches, although that was probably also related to the removal of some outside stressors on the relationship.

    6. on a related note, I’ve been thinking recently about buying the books and working through them together (just short of counseling) to work out communication patterns.

      Was thinking either Eight Dates or Seven Principles…. if anyone has a recommendation as to one over the other.

    7. We did, and what it revealed was that we did not still like each other. It was really focused on trying to highlight good memories and spend fun time together, and I realized through that process that I had basically no remaining good memories and I actively did not find time with him fun.

      It sounds like you are in a completely different boat! I think it might be perfect for you. You also can just read his books and get some of the deep conversation starter decks to discuss over a glass of wine after kids go to sleep. The big lesson for me was that if you like someone a lot and have lots of little moments that reflect that liking, the harder stuff is easier. So it’s just about making time and space for the little moments, which is hard with kids, but doable.

      I am now married to someone else, and I’m grateful for the lessons I learned from Gottman counseling.

    8. We did some sessions with a Gottman- trained counselor, but I don’t know if it was super Gottman-y? I think she did recommend their book, which I bought and never read; I hate self-help books in general. The counselor was good and it was helpful.

    9. Gottman is Christian focused, FYI. That may appeal or it may not be a match for your practice and marriage. But be aware it’s Christian.

  4. I know there have been heaps of book threads here lately but does anyone have any good tips on how to navigate to them? I don’t want to ask again so soon after we’ve just done this! But I’m needing a new book.

    Having said that, if anyone does want to weigh in, I like that category of fiction you might call literary but not difficult. Mainly woman writers although that just seems to be the way it happens rather than an intentional strategy. Love everything Curtis sittenfeld has written (except that weird pride and prejudice one), love Ann patchett (not so much Tom lake though for some reason), love Elizabeth Strout. Just read ministry of time (great), I’m sorry you feel that way (great), and a Visit from the goon squad (great). Recommendations for actual books or alternatively tips on how to navigate to prior book threads are both welcome!

    1. This is also my favorite book category. I’d recommend Sorrow and Bliss by Meg Mason, Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi, The Department of Speculation by Jenny Offill, Writers & Lovers by Lily King, Life After Life by Kate Atkinson, Absolution by Alice McDermott, and anything Barbara Kingsolver or Amor Towels.

      1. I’ve read and loved half of the books you listed which makes me extremely confident I’ll love the unread half! And hello book taste twin :)

    2. Claire-Louise Bennett (Pond is her better-known book, but I liked Checkout 19 better)
      Edna O’Brien and Alice Munroe for short stories.

    3. Curtis Sittenfeld has a short story collection coming out in February that’s excellent, so watch for that.

      I love all the authors and books you listed and here’s some I’d suggest:
      Emma Straub
      Liane Moriarty (her new one is GREAT)
      Taylor Jenkins Reid
      Liz Moore
      Coco Mellors
      Nathan Hill
      Blake Crouch if you liked the sci fi parts of MoT
      Anthony Marra
      Amor Towles
      Excavations by Kate Myers
      Real Americans by Rachel Khong
      Lies and Weddings by Kevin Kwan (much better than CRA for me)
      The Rachel Incident by Caroline O’Donoghue
      Black Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson

      Apologies for any misspellings, I’m on my phone.

      1. I love those writers so you have completely got the knack of my taste even though not brand new :)

    4. I have a google docs spreadsheet that I just copy and paste links for the posts with book rec threads on them with a note as to the category of recommendations

    5. I also love Curtis Sttenfeld’s books except for Eligible. I also like books by Meg Wolitzer, but particularly the Interestings. I also liked Yellowface by R.F. Kuang and Gold Diggers by Sanjena Sathian.

    6. I just heard Louise Erdrich give an author talk last night, and while I haven’t read loads of her work I want to read more. She’s been publishing since the early 80’s (Tracks), to now (The Sentence, The Mighty Red). I think she fits your description of literary fiction that’s not too much.

    7. Loved The Latecomer by Korelitz. Was more meh on The Plot, but I think that one is more popular overall.

      1. I loved the Latecomer. Normally I pick up on twists in books and movies but the major twist in this really got me.

    8. Just finished The Wedding People, which you might like. Sally Rooney or Maggie O’Farrell might be a good fit too, and I’ve very much enjoyed both of Claire Keegan’s short novels, “Small Things Like These” and “Foster”.

    9. I just finished Lauren Groff’s The Vaster Wilds and I feel like it fits this category. It’s beautifully written but not difficult to read or understand.

    10. A good descriptor of this is “book club fiction” or “upmarket” if you ever need to search anywhere else! Though the people here give excellent recommendations.

      I recommend “The Wife” by Meg Wollitzer. It fits your criteria really well. I’m writing down some of the recs here for myself now!

      1. I feel like book club fiction skews a little more towards chick lit and towards books you can get in the Hudson News at the airport. Think like Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Weiner. To me the authors that OP and others have listed are more literary fiction than typical book club fiction. I have similar tastes to OP and while I don’t hate Picoult and Weiner, they’re definitely a big step below the popular lit fic authors for me.

        1. Yes I think I agree. I have read one Jennifer Weiner and I didn’t hate it but it’s not quite what I mean.

    11. Margo’s Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe
      A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza
      The Sicilian Inheritance by Jo Piazza
      Yellowface by R.F. Kuang
      If you like mysteries and/or Agatha Christie, check out Anthony Horowitz

      1. +1 million to A Place for Us, possibly my all-time favorite ever book. It’s not light though, it’s quite a bit heavier than the typical bestselling family drama. Maybe it just hit home for me because I’m also from an immigrant family, but it was a really tough read for me at times.

      2. Thank you! I do like Anthony Horowitz actually so you definitely have got my taste.

    12. There’s a series of 5 books by Elizabeth Jane Howard called the Cazelet Chronicles, about an upper-class family in England, between WWI and WWII. The first title is The Light Years. I loved these books because the author takes you inside the thoughts and feelings of a wide range of characters in and around the family.

    13. I read the WSJ and NYT book reviews and reserve the ones that interest me at the local library. That way, I can stop reading a book I don’t care for without bemoaning the spent cash. I also chat with the librarians when I pick up my books, and it’s turned in to another way to get recommendations.

    14. This was amazing everyone thank you so much. I hope others got some good recommendations out of this too.

  5. Do you keep boxes of purchases in case you have to make a return like for small appliances or electronic gadgets? If so, for how long? The full return window? warranty period? I hate clutter and don’t have a bunch of extra space to keep empty boxes and packaging, but I also worry I won’t be able to return an item without the original packaging.

    1. this has never occurred to me. I guess i make sure that it works and all but unless i am keeping the item in the box (like my food processor lives in its box) i get rid of them…..

    2. I have not needed the original packaging to return items under the warranty. You do need the receipt.

    3. This is what basements are for (!).

      Honestly, I do save them, at least until I know it works. And if I buy it from Costco (where I get a lot of this stuff because their prices are so good and return policy is so great), I definitely save them. Because they will respect the return policy on things that break.

      But I am more careful/anxious about this stuff like you (!). Honestly, when I move back to a smaller space, I will likely get rid of most of this if I don’t have a relative’s basement to keep my boxes in.

    4. Just moved my parents into assisted living and they literally had the original box for anything that came in a box – for example, a crock pot that was bought in the 50s (receipt was taped on inside flap of the box). I have no boxes for anything I have bought. If it works, box goes in recycling, unless it is a big box, and then it goes to the neighborhood kids for a fort.

    5. I keep the receipt in a designated folder in my email, and otherwise cut the UPC out of the box and store it in a Ziploc with the paper receipt.

    6. I keep a lot of boxes because I have a huge attic and might move someday, so (in theory) the boxes will come in handy to pack up the item for the move. But if I didn’t have ample space to store these empty boxes, I would toss them. I do keep boxes that party stemware came in, so that I can wash the wine and champagne glasses and store them in the boxes on a shelf in a closet until the next party.

    7. No, I am team anti clutter. And if something breaks down the road, I’m not sending it back,I’ll get a new one or ask for a replacement.

  6. How do you factor long term incentives into compensation comparisons for different roles, especially if the LTI doesn’t vest for three years? For example, Company A offers salary + bonus + LTI that vests after 3 years and is dependent on company performance. Company B offers a slightly higher salary + bonus, but no LTI. I’ve missed out on a lot of LTIs over the years from job hopping, so I’ve never considered it part of my salary, but when they pay out they can be really significant. However, since it doesn’t vest for three years, it also seems like it shouldn’t be valued in the same way as base pay or bonus, so I’m struggling to see how much of a higher salary would be required at Company B to overcome the loss of LTI. TIA!

    1. I don’t work in tech so my long term vesting schedules have always been with regards to pension plans. I wouldn’t include it in my calculations as to what base salary I’d accept or count it as ‘real’ pay (companies can and do mess with LTI and pension plans all the time). I did successfully negotiate a higher salary at a new job as I was starting 3 months before vesting would hit on my pension. Asking to be made whole on part of your long term comp if you move midyear is also very common in finance and tech in particular.

      1. They could, but in my public accounting days it rarely happened. BIg 4 turnover was high enough that the firms rarely ended up paying out on all of the pension plans the employees were promised. Getting to your full vesting was a big deal and generally made you seem more reliable vs. a liability.

      2. Usually a layoff means this stuff vests immediately as part of a severance. Leaving voluntarily before the vesting date means you forfeit it, but usually not in a layoff.

        1. False, at least in my case. I lost $77k of invested RSUs when I was laid off earlier this year. And the share price is in the toilet right now, otherwise it would have been much, much more.

        2. My company also laid people off recently and did not vest (tech but not faang), but it’s not great for the company’s reputation. If you are considering a large enough company with recent-ish layoffs, there’s usually enough publicised info to figure out how they handled it (eg on blind, reddit, thelayoff.com)

    2. For comparison purposes across jobs, I take longer term incentives (even retention bonuses and annual bonuses), discount them to 50 to 80% of their total value (depending on how likely I’ll achieve them) and divide them over the number of months they cover.

      For financial planning I value them at zero and just take the windfall when it comes. I’ve had bad outcomes with stock options so this approach to financial planning feels best to me.

      1. yea this is how DH and I treat the carry that he has. i like to day dream about what i’d do with it all, but for now it is literally a day dream and plays not at all into our budgeting.

    3. I tend to think of the LTI as a bargaining chip for the next job, not for this job. So if you take Company A now if you leave at 2.5 years then any new offer would need to cover your LTI buyout.

  7. Planning a trip from Texas to California between Christmas and New Years. Any Hive tips / itineraries you have liked and are willing to share? 2 kids, age 11 and 8, looking for nature / hiking / redwoods. Flying into San Francisco, feeling unsure how far we want to drive.

      1. I’m originally from near Sequoia and feel like it’s an often overlooked gem, not as glamorous and well known as its cousin to the north, Yosemite. Both places are spectacular. With Yosemite you’ll see striking views you’ve seen in Ansel Adams’ work, but you’ll also have crowds and may not actually be able to drive in/park. Check this ahead of time. Sequoia is easier from this perspective.

        Enjoy!

        1. Yosemite probably won’t be too busy at Christmas time–summer is when it gets bonkers. I really like Rush Creek Lodge just outside the park for the game room and overall fun vibe for kids.

          One thing to consider is snow/ice. By law, you’ll need to carry chains to Yosemite regardless of conditions at that time of year. I wouldn’t go if there was recent snow/ice–the roads are just far too treacherous for anyone who doesn’t have a lot of experience with such roads (assuming, since you’re from Texas).

          Going north from SF could be fun without the snow concerns: Point Reyes, Muir Woods (check about reservation), Mendocino. Or south, to Pacific Grove and Big Sur.

          However, if there are big rains around the time you’re traveling, definitely look into road conditions before you set off to any nature areas. Despite their popularity, a lot of natural areas in California really are the wild, with limited road service, and those roads can close due to mudslides. It’s a feat of engineering that roads to some awesome places even exist.

        2. I agree that Yosemite can be wonderful at that time of year if you’re willing to deal with the possibility of snow and getting chains for a rental car. Otherwise, you could head south to Monterey, Santa Cruz, and Big Sur (weather permitting, there’s often a landslide that closes Highway 1 around that time of year) or north to Marin and Point Reyes. With kids, I might be inclined to do Monterey and Santa Cruz because it’s easier to switch between indoor stuff like the aquarium and outdoor stuff like the butterfly grove, Elkhorn Slough, Pt. Lobos, and whatever parts of Big Sur are accessible (you can sometimes get a lot of rain at that time of year).

      2. I’m a huge fan of sequoia but it’s quite a drive from SF and you would want snow chains that time of year.
        Muir woods is close, has spectacular redwoods and moderate hikes. Check in advance, you may need reservations.

    1. Marin County has some nice hikes, and Muir Woods is gorgeous. These are less spectacular suggestions than Sequoia and Yosemite, but they are much closer to SF!

    2. I’ve seen some comments about avoiding Yosemite in winter, but I went in February many years ago and it was calm and peaceful. We had to buy chains for our rental car, thinking that we would return them unused at the end of the week. Wrong! We got very proficient at getting them on and off. I was there during a snowstorm which closed off the road to the valley for a few hours in the morning. So we rented snowshoes and hiked up the snow-closed road to the Mariposa Grove (sequoias). There were maybe a dozen people who made the trek and we laughed at the signs about avoiding overcrowding. It was a very different experience than most people have at Yosemite. As long as you are prepared for that, I say that winter is a great time to go.

    3. The Central Coast is a bit of a drive, but it’s scenic and Hearst Castle is just great for kids. Also the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose was a hit with my 9 year old back in the day.

    4. The beautiful thing about San Francisco is you do not need to drive five hours to get somewhere amazing. Zero need to go to Yosemite. I would stay a couple of days in the city – plenty to do in the neighborhoods and great restaurants and then I’d rent a place in Russian River for the week. It’s woodsy, cute towns, wine tasting, etc. you could also go fancier to Healdsburg, Sonoma proper or Napa. All of that is about 1.5 hours from SFO.

      1. She wants nature though. I enjoy SF and Napa too (Napa is probably in our top 5 most repeated destinations), but it is not going to scratch the nature itch the same way Yosemite does.

      2. PS – Russian River has Armstrong Woods and all the nature and redwoods you could want as it’s very close to the coast. I personally dislike Yosemite, there’s nothing to do except hike. No good restaurants or anything and the drive there is brutal. If I’m driving five hours from SF, I’m going to Tahoe. Or better, Mendocino. I like my nature with a side of oysters, champagne and good meals. Plus cute shops and antique stores and wineries. Russian River and Mendocino wineries are kid friendly too.

    5. Here’s what I would do: I’d start with heading North — driving across the Golden Gate Bridge, maybe a hike in the Marin Headlands just over the bridge, or even go out to the Point Bonita Lighthouse (only open odd times like 12-2pm). As a kid, I loved the bunkers all over that Marin Headands from WWII that you can hike to and climb on. You can also visit the Marine Mammal Center where they rescue cute and smelly sea lions and seals. Depending on when you arrive, I might stay at Cavallo Point just over the bridge — amazing location, good food and spa.

      Although it will be crowded, I would probably stop by Muir Woods to see the old growth coastal redwoods (purchase tickets and parking in advance), and then head to Point Reyes because it’s such an incredibly beautiful national park and has hiking and beaches. Muir Woods also has an excellent visitors center for learning about the redwoods. Point Reyes — Inverness Park Market has the best sandwiches, Bovine Bakery for pastries, and the whole area generally has great food. If your kids are up to it, I highly recommend kayaking on Tomales Bay first thing in the morning when there is no wind. From there, I’d continue north to Bodega Bay — a cute town with decent food and beaches and then head inland to Armstrong Redwoods State Park, Guerneville, and/or Sonoma — amazing food and wine and a cute town. There are many excellent oyster spots on the coast if that’s of interest and the CA Coast is simply spectacular.

      From there, I agree with the other posters that I’d do a longer driving day and go to Yosemite –it’s beautiful in the valley in the winter. I think Rush Creek is great for kids but prefer staying in the Valley because it’s such a long drive in (approx. an hour, and worth doing in daylight for the views). It is not worth it to pay to stay in the Ahwahnee though I enjoy eating there because the dining room is incredible. For winter, you can walk through the meadows, ice skate, visit Yosemite Falls, and either walk or cross-country ski to Mirror Lake below Half Dome.

  8. Thanks all for the wedding guest list advice yesterday.

    Background: I’m MOTB and was asked for my advice. Bride and Groom would like an immediate family only wedding, parents and siblings only. This is both for budget reasons and for vibe reasons. They both just want it small. Issues are groom’s mom wants to throw a bridal shower and invite friends and relatives not invited to the wedding. There’s also some pressure from groom’s dad (it turns out) to invite his brother/groom’s uncle along with uncle’s family. This is complicated because inviting the aunts-uncles-cousins tier on bride’s side would add 20ish people, which will blow the budget, and it could also blow the vibe.

    I spoke to bride and groom last night. Asked groom about his uncle what the issue is. Groom’s dad said uncle will be “weird” if not invited. And groom said he could go ahead and be weird, just not at the wedding. So that seems somewhat settled.

    Shower seems to be full steam ahead so I just emphasized to bride/my daughter that the guests should know ahead of time that it’s a micro wedding and they’re not invited. I will not be co-hosting the shower as requested by future MIL. I don’t even know the people she’s inviting, and my daughter can handle this on her own.

    So thanks all for your advice, it was all implemented!!

    1. You sound like an amazing mom and MIL. Good for you for thinking about your daughter and her needs and also providing support to your daughter during this stressful time. Oh how I wish you were my MIL/mom!

    2. Thank you for the update! I got to the thread late but with my aunt’s perspective (single, no kids) I’d be fine with not being invited to a nephew’s very small wedding but I’d be crushed to find out later I got penalised for respecting the bride and groom and could’ve gone if I was just an asshole about it. Also a good sign that your soon to be SIL is prioritising the choices he and your daughter have made together over challenges from his family of origin. I hope it’s a lovely wedding!

  9. The puppy just got home after being snipped — he’s so out of it. How should I treat him? (It’s my first time owning a dog.)

    1. Awww, poor baby! He’ll have a happier life neutered though :) I’ve only had a girl puppy, so not sure how spay recovery compares to neuter. But when she came home, our directions were to let her have plenty of rest, no jumping around/rough play, make sure she doesn’t lick/bite at the incision area, and just keep an eye on her for anything worrisome (extreme lethargy, etc.) Don’t be afraid to call the vet for more advice if you need it.

      1. As with humans, recovery is easier for males. The male vs female difference isn’t as stark as with humans because neutering is a much bigger deal than a vasectomy, but it’s still easier than spaying.

    2. Let him rest. When he gets up, take him outside immediately. Then let him rest again. Offer food/water as recommended by the vet.
      Most likely in 12-24 hours he’ll be acting like nothing ever happened.

  10. Just want to say that I’ll wear my fat white Hoka sneakers to any symphony, concert, opera, etc and not think twice about it. I’ve had two foot surgeries – I’m beyond caring.

    1. Right. You don’t need validation from a blog for your choice.

      But if you were to ask, you’d be told the truth about how they look. I’d wear the sneakers too if my feet hurt.

    2. Ok? But would you suggest them as the optimal fashion choice to compliment an outfit someone is taking time to put together because she wants to look nice?

    3. Good for you! I presume you were not the OP who asked us to rate HER proposed outfit? I hope your feet feel better sometime soon.

      1. Nope! Just disagreeing with those above who deem them inappropriate for the venue.

        1. Many teens wear sneakers to prom. Isn’t wrong. Just isn’t where you would steer someone already wearing appropriate shoes, which OP was. Comfort is one thing. But it’s still not the best look with a long sarin skirt (I say this a Hoka wearer myself). Agree to disagree.

        2. It might be done, but it’s not appropriate. Doesn’t mean there isn’t a good reason and you don’t have to care, but don’t conflate that with appropriateness.

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