Coffee Break: Asymmetrical Wrap Scarf
We've talked a lot about how the wrap is an essential tool for every working woman. You can use it as a blanket on your lap if your skirt is shorter than you thought it was or if your legs are cold, you can layer it on top of a blazer or a chunky sweater, and more. This 100% acrylic mohair wrap has a pretty good price and I like the edgy, asymmetrical look. At the same time, it also looks cool just doubled up around your neck. It's $98 at Nordstrom in bright red, cornflower blue, and black. Rebecca Minkoff Asymmetrical Wrap Scarf
(L-all)
Sales of note for 12.5
- Nordstrom – Cyber Monday Deals Extended, up to 60% off thousands of new markdowns — great deals on Natori, Vince, Theory, Boss, Cole Haan, Tory Burch, Rothy's, and Weitzman, as well as gift ideas like Barefoot Dreams and Parachute — Dyson is new to sale, 16-23% off, and 3x points on beauty purchases.
- Ann Taylor – up to 50% off everything
- Banana Republic Factory – up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
- Design Within Reach – 25% off sitewide (including reader-favorite office chairs Herman Miller Aeron and Sayl!) (sale extended)
- Eloquii – up to 60% off select styles
- J.Crew – 1200 styles from $20
- J.Crew Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off $100+
- Macy's – Extra 30% off the best brands and 15% off beauty
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
- Steelcase – 25% off sitewide, including reader-favorite office chairs Leap and Gesture (sale extended)
- Talbots – 40% off your entire purchase and free shipping $125+
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Can anyone help with suggestions for a THICK, large-sized, quality cashmere pashmina/scarf? I bought the ideal version several years ago (at Nordstroms) and then lost it in Paris. The ones I see in stores are usually long, but not wide, and made from thin cashmere, not the thick quality I remember. It is the simple, quality basics that I find the most difficult to acquire. I am looking for solid black with no tassels. Just a thick, simple quality.
Many thanks for your help! This website has been invaluable.
I wonder if the one from Cuyana would fit your bill . . . .
Thank you! Anonymous, for a great suggestion! I will look carefully at their line (and hadn’t before). I didn’t know of this line and will be delighted to check them out. Many thanks.
Still looking around, even wondering if there might have been some wool blended in for extra weight(?)
It sounds like you’re looking for a blanket not a scarf!
Very True! :) I live in the direct path of polar vortex weather, but still need to dress professionally at work. That blanket-scarf saved me many days and I miss it terribly! I wore it like a cape and it was perfect during lunches and working late. Thank you again for the recommendation – love the Cuyana look. Have a great day!
I recently bought ones recommended on this site – Talbots and Garnet Hill. I was looking for what you desire.
Garnet Hill was the better of the two and wider, no fringe. Not quite as thick as I was envisioning, but then again, I get neck pain if I wear it around my neck/shoulders too long. So maybe it’s plenty.
Reminder…. Must strengthen my core….
I also wear my Garnet Hill like a cape/shall when cold. Very good,
Thank you so much for a great suggestion! I will look into Garnet Hill (and stop by Talbots, haven’t been in ages). I am delighted to know that you’ve found success! Stay warm :)
Is anyone here going to march in the march on Washington on the 21st?
How are you getting there?
What are you bringing? No backpacks allowed unless they’re clear, otherwise just a small purse/bag
Thoughts on dating a much younger guy? I’m 36, and about a month ago got asked out my a guy I met through a hobby. From our first conversation I was struck by how much like “home” he feels to me, in all the best meanings of the word. We’ve had 3 great, long, dates (where coffee led to a walk, led to etc), and, I really like him! Both as a stellar human being, and as a good fit for me. We both had gathered that I was older, but were each thinking more like a 5 years gap; on our last date we talked openly and the truth is that we are 10 years apart – he’s 26. We parted with plans to meet up again, and also to think about what the age difference means for us. Thoughts? I’m not quite sure how I want to proceed, or what questions to ask. I do really really really want to have kids, so, the timing of kids is the most obvious issue. But what else should I think about? For what it’s worth, I do look very young, and, he strikes me as one of the most responsibly people I know, of any age.
I’d say fantastic… for a fling. But with your age and desires, there will be different pressures on the relationship. it hasn’t worked in my friend group.
Go watch “Younger” with the great Sutton Foster – catch up on all three seasons while we await season four.
Team Josh.
Enjoy !
I think this depends almost entirely on the guy. Genuinely mature adult 26 year-olds exist, but I think they’re the minority. My own experience dating a 27 year-old when I was 31 did not go especially well, largely because of his immaturity in a number of respects. If you think this guy is an exception to my general observation that men in their 20’s still don’t know what they want out of life and/or their romantic relationships, then I don’t think 10 years is a noteworthy age gap.
I think what matters more than his age, is what stage of life is he in right now? I had my first child at 31. My lawyer friends thought that was ‘young’. But, compared to many of my friends who had gone into nursing or become teachers, it was on the older side. If he graduated at 22, started working and settled into a condo/house, then he may be more ready to ‘settle down’ vs. someone who is in the middle of grad school.
It’s not about the number, it’s about where he is in his life.
Second this comment. I dated a guy 8 years younger (32-24) and I remember being really shocked he wasn’t 28 and he was also shocked I was over 30. We dated about 7 months before things went off the rails. He had always said it didn’t bother him at all but a few months after we broke up (largely due to him acting like an immature a$$ at my best friend’s birthday party among other things) he admitted it did always mess with him a little. I will say that it was the largest gap in that direction but the parents were very supportive and would say things like “you two have so much in common and are a good personality fit”. I thought that would be the hardest part by far. but 24 is much different than 26. He’s 26 now and still e-mails me from time to time saying he wishes he could have met me at this age. I don’t respond.
Major difference would be how long does he want to be married before kids? I know a lot of people married in mid 20s who had kids in their mid to late 20s and are very happy. I remember thinking when I was 29 there are NO single guys and they are all taken because they all marry before this.
See what he says but be clear about your own intentions. Having kids later is harder for you (not impossible) but you owe it to yourself to date someone who knows what they want too.
TLDR if you like him and he seems willing, date him casually and see if it really is as good as it seems. If not, no regrets. But if it works, then you need to have the convo earlier than a 26-26 couple about your intentions and goals.
lol @ those emails 2 years later.
Wow, I’m amazed his parents didn’t freak out! (I’ll admit that’s a fear of mine, if things do proceed). Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Yeah, we are both solidly in good careers, which is part of the reason I didn’t pick up on a age difference sooner.
I think this is something you have to hash out with him. You’ve both had sometime to think after learning your age difference and, with 3 dates, both of you should have some idea of whether this is potentially forever or likely to be a fling.
Some guys want to have kids young and are very mature in their 20s. Others, not so much.
I’d start off the conversation with “You know I’m 36, right? I’m kind of approaching the end of my opportunity to have bio kids of my own and being a mother is something I really, really want. If this is a potentially forever relationship, my ideal timeline would be to get married in n years and start having kids shortly after. If you don’t see this as a forever relationship or don’t want to move so quickly, I completely understand. What do you think?”
you want her to say this to him on Date #4? YIKES!
Tend to agree that’s a little aggressive for a fourth date but I agree you need to know or you’re wasting time. Maybe just say something in passing about how you want children. If he really is mature as you think, (or if he isn’t) it’ll have the desired effect of scaring him away because he’s not worthy or ready or maybe that’s exactly what he’s looking for. Dating’s hard but if he doesn’t check your boxes in non-negotiable areas he’s wasting your time no matter how good of company he is.
I don’t think this is too much. Once I hit my 30s, it was not unusual to have a short conversation about whether each of us wanted kids and an ideal timeline.
Yes, in my 20s, it would have been a little much. But that might just be the difference between dating in your 20s and dating in your 30s.
For the OP, if this scares him away, well, you have your answer. Time to move on.
Thank you for all your thoughts and insight. I actually asked him if he wanted kids on date #2, and we had a good conversation about that. (He does). Anonymous, I appreciate your phrasing, too – I think I’ll borrow your words about is this a potentially forever relationship.
I think having the conversation about dreams for the future, including a future with children, at some time within the first 3 or so months of dating would be good. Also I think a 10 year difference in age -either plus or minus – is dating in your own age group after both parties are past their teens. And the age difference between the partners is exactly the same whether its the man or the woman who is older, although somehow irrationally it is more acceptable for the women to be younger as if that makes the age difference matter less.
It’s about being in the same place in life, and having the same plans for the future that is important not whether you or he is younger or older. Being in approximately the same decade strengthens the relationship in other ways too, which is why both men and women have extra hurdles in their relationships if they marry somebody from their parents generation.
Congratulations on your guy, he sounds like a gem.
Anecdata: my SIL and my brother are 9.5 years apart. They got married when she was 33/he was 24, and they just celebrated their tenth wedding anniversary. They have two awesome children. Unless they disclose the age difference, you wouldn’t know it based on how they interact with one another, maturity levels, life goals, etc.
I’m glad to hear a success story; thank you:-)
Sounds to me like you’re both in the same stage in life (depending on his thoughts on children). For teens/early 20s, this would be a huge age gap, and a woman marrying a man gen years older is pretty much guaranteed to be a widow, actuary speaking, but finishing education/starting career, establishing home, having family–all those things you’re thinking of (if I read you right) are things that people do at very different ages and paces, depending on not just age and maturity but also career path, local norms, obstacles that come up….
Some would say to focus on end of life considerations, but I don’t think that’s a big deal either. If you have a couple kids, starting when you’re 40, you will be just a few years from retirement when the last one finishes college. Someone will have stepped back a bit to focus on family. If it’s you, then you’ll ease into retirement and he’ll be used to you having a big role at home. If he’s the lead parent, and you’ve been the main breadwinner, then he can stay at lower level work responsibility as sort of a semi-retirement. Or whatever. Honestly, 20-30 years is a long time. You don’t know what’s going to happen.
Friends are the one area I think could be a little sticky. My work friends are lots of different ages; we sort out by interest, not age. But I realized recently that all my mom friends are the same age as me (just turned 50), and the moms I’m friendly with who aren’t my age have never seemed interested in anything more. But I don’t know how much having couples friends matters to you. I would certainly expect anyone to be able to enjoy an evening with a friend a their spouse, even if there is a bit of an age gap. If you’re building a life with this guy, it isn’t as if you’ll have completely different cultural reference points, and you’ll be in child-rearing together.
And who asks how old someone’s spouse is anyway? None of their business!
This is really helpful, thank you! I really appreciate your perspective on how this could unfold in later parts of life. And pointing out the challenge with friends; since many of my friends married guys 6-8 years older, it could be particularly challenging.
26 could go either way. At 26, I met the guy I would marry (same age) and at 28 we would have a child. She was unexpected but is 2 now and I am really thrilled by how things turned out. We were both mature enough to handle everything that came our way. But I have many friends who are 29, 30, 31, and not yet ready to settle down. My recommendation is to have an honest talk with him about your feelings about the age gap, how you two fit together, where you want to be in a few years. Not necessarily like a “you must decide now if we will get married and have babies” but just to let him know where you’re at. If he’s mature enough to be the right one for you, he will be mature enough to handle that conversation.
More Anecdata –
One of my Aunts is married to a man who is ten years younger than her. They met and married at about the same ages that you are now. They had their first child when she was 39 and their second when she was 41 – both healthy happy kids, conceived without issue.
They’ve been married for almost 30 years now and seem to be incredibly happy. They have a robust social life and their relative ages have never seemed like an issue.
I’d say, if you are happy with him, don’t let the ages hold you back.
The above is not the usual Lilly. I’ve been using Lilly here for a number of years now. Would you mind using a different name ? Thanks!
Also, this Lilly has a thirteen year age gap with my husband, but we met at 41/28, and he spent his younger years hanging out not with his contemporaries but with his father’s friends, so it’s like he is an honorary baby boomer.
Sigh. My date tonight cancelled. He cancelled for a completely legitimate reason and asked for a reschedule immediately after he explained (and he called!), but I’m still disappointed. Blerg.
Bright side, back in pjs and no makeup necessary!
Sucks BUT how he handled it is a good thing! It shows character :)
I agree! I am just riding the wave of disappointment temporarily, but am already on the upswing. Just needed a moment, you know? Although of course seeing him twice would have been nice :) I’m greedy like that!
This happened to me when I was online dating. He had to reschedule a first date because he was ‘stuck’ in another city for business, rescheduled it from a Wednesday (I think) to Friday, with continued texting over those days. Plans were confirmed and a reservation made around noon Friday for 8pm that night. I got a text at 5pm saying that he felt like he should cancel our date because he was actually seeing someone and it got serious and he thought it “wasn’t right.” Ummmm, ok. I guess it got serious in those 5 hours on a Friday between confirming plans and him ghosting. (Oh, I didn’t mention that this was my first-ever online date, so that didn’t help my nerves!)
Fast forward some eight months later and I had been dating my now-fiance for 6 months when I got a text from the ghoster. He clearly thought he could re-write facts because he said “Hey, it’s Joe, we tried making plans a few months ago but it never really worked out. This isn’t how I normally operate but are you still single?” Boy did I laugh hard at that because him standing me up was in the text string right above it.
Some guys are great, some guys are gross.
Totally agree with your last sentence! I’ve been out with this guy a couple times and don’t think he’ll end up doing something crappy, but you certainly never know!
When I was online dating, I had a few first dates where he had cancelled months earlier because he was starting a relationship and that relationship fizzled. The guys were great and, had we been more compatible, it could have worked out.
For online dating, I usually scheduled meet-ups with 2-3 guys per week. One or two of those would get a second date. So I could see how one might move faster than another. No big deal.
Yes, it was bad that he cancelled at the last minute and then re-interpreted the past. I’d have given him another chance–dating is awkward. But you do you.
*except you were already engaged.
Reading comprehension fail.
Not engaged just yet, but seriously dating for a few months and blissfully happy! This was the first date I had set up and soon did 2-3 a week just like you! Quick drinks scheduled a couple times a week = zero pressure.
Anyway, I wasn’t angry, just felt a bit stupid. Obviously I didn’t lose any sleep over him, but I still wouldn’t have gone out with him after that if I were single (never meeting, canceling last minute, reaching out 8 months later). I sensed he was one of those guys that did online dating because he liked to have a deep bench of women from which to choose.
Those messages always make me laugh. I dated a guy exclusively for 2-3 months and then he slow faded on me, resulting in me having to call him out so that he’d go ahead and break up with me…which he did over text. Something just changed and he didn’t feel a strong enough connection. Fine, whatever, agreed. Just handle it better.
2 *years* later I get a very enthusiastic message from him saying that he saw x type of very common food and it made him think of me! How was I!? Did I want to meet up?
No.
Calling you to cancel and saying his conscience woke up is not what I’d call ghosting or standing you up. But yeah, I hope you were on the phone when he got back in touch, and that he heard you laugh.
Solidarity, my first date for today also had to cancel, also for a very, very legitimate reason. We haven’t rescheduled yet, but agreed to a rain check. Disappointing, because I like talking to him and we’ve been chatting a ton this past week, but he had to work an emergency night shift last night and is, I’m guessing, sleeping right now.
Boo! I wanted to hear how it went. This post had me thinking of you and wondering if I should post that question to you.
Aww, thanks! I’ll be sure to update when it does happen.
Oh no! I hope you get to reschedule soon.
If it’s 100% acrylic, why is it $98?
Because it’s Rebecca Minkoff. Nordstrom has some self-branded ones that are partial or full cashmere/wool/other natural fibers that are around the same price.
Here’s one from Etsy that’s 100% wool and less money, for anyone interested…
https://www.etsy.com/listing/480376798/wool-blanket-scarf-wool-wrap-solid?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=blanket%20scarf%20black%20100%%20wool&ref=sr_gallery_2