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Workwear sales of note for 6.02.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Boden – Sale, up to 50% off
- Cole Haan – Up to 50% off select styles; extra 20% off sandals & sneakers
- Eloquii – 60% off all tops
- Express – 30% off all dresses, tops, shorts & more; extra 50% off clearance
- H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- J.McLaughlin – The Sale Event: extra 30% off
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Up to 60% off sale
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
- Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
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- What are some of your go-to outfits that feel current?
- I need more activities that are social, easy to learn and don’t involve extreme running/jumping/etc.
I broke up with my ex in February after months of him treating me poorly. He has apologized a million times and we have had periods where we have been chatty as I was considering giving him a second chance. No feelings have returned for me. He continues to occasionally send me messages telling me how much he misses me and how sorry he is and how he hopes we can get back to how we once were. It makes me feel guilty because I really cannot picture this happening. I have decided to have one final conversation tonight with him to tell him that and to ask him to please stop contacting (for the 10th time). He has said he does not want to be friends if we can’t date and I am 100% on board with that despite him being involved in some things that are very interesting, etc. I generally have no regrets about breaking up and don’t have feelings of missing him – it was a traumatic few months for me at the end of our relationship.
At any rate, there is of course a teeny tiny part of me that worries if I am making the right choice to make it clear I have no desire to get back together and then cut off all contact. I know I am doing the right thing, but it’s still going to be hard. UGH.
You’re going to meet with him to tell him for the TENTH time to stop contacting you? Please no! He won’t go away because you aren’t setting boundaries. Start now. Stop contacting him. Don’t meet up with him. You ant it to be over so act accordingly.
And yes, doing the right thing is often hard in all areas of life. Might as well get used to it because this will not be the last time you have to stand by your hard but right choice. You know what you want and need so move more assertively in that direction starting right now.
Oh I am not meeting with him. He is LD, I am FaceTiming with him. It’s honestly the only way I think he will actually believe I am being serious – if he sees my face. I have waffled a little bit about whether I wanted to try again over the last several months, so this time I am going to be crystal clear. I want to be mature about it, but once we have this conversation I am cutting everything off.
No, no, no.
Seeing your face on FaceTime is reinforcing to him. Don’t do it. If you must, shoot him a short text, then block his number on your phone and call it a day.
…you’ve told him 10 times you don’t want contact?
You do not owe him any more conversations. You should not feel guilty. You have told him to stop contacting you. Just…stop. Don’t respond to messages. Stop texting.
Yeah, continuing contact with him when he’s said he wants dating or nothing suggests that dating is in the realm of consideration. I know it may not seem this way to you, but you’re stringing him along and prohibiting yourself from finally putting this behind you. I was in a similar position as you once, and I really regret not making a clean break as soon as I knew it was over.
I totally agree! Which is why I want to have this conversation in which I say, no way, no how will there be a second chance to end the wishy washiness. Early on I thought I could move past what happened, but with time it has become clear that I cannot.
Can’t you just not respond? This reads as though you don’t want to let go. It doesn’t take 10 tries if it’s really what you want.
No, you don’t have to have this conversation. Speak through your actions. Send him a last message saying you will not be responding to any further communications from him and that you request he stop contacting you. And then follow through. Just stop it.
Block him on your phone. And your email. And your life.
I agree AGAIN with Wildkitten. If a guy is a schmoe, why keep dealing with him. Yes, it is no fun NOT to have a boyfreind, but again, if he is a schmoe, and you have told him you have NO feeling’s for him, get rid of him TOOT-SUITE! It took me along time to get over Sheketovits (my ex), but now that I am OVER him, I am SO OVER him. What a schmoe I was for thinkeing he was NOT so bad when he was! I concur with the other OP’s! JUST SAY FOOEY AND MOVE ON! YAY!!!!!!
Brunette Elle Woods
This! Block him! I broke up with my ex and had to block him on my phone and Facebook. Breaking up with him was the best thing I ever did.
THIS is why I posted my story yesterday about an old flame who I have not spoken to in years coming out of the woodwork. Reaching out, in any way, even to say this is still over, is cracking the door open. Keep it shut and move on with your life. I know you feel bad, but you said he treated you poorly. He is now not respecting boundaries and thus treating you poorly again by holding your conscience hostage. Tell that to the teeny tiny part of you that wonders ‘what if…?’ — you don’t want to be back together with him, he is just hanging in your periphery in hopes of sneaking his way back in. Keep that door shut for long enough and you will see clearly that you did the right thing and you don’t want him anymore and soon enough you won’t have feelings for him anymore.
A lot of posters have said don’t have this conversation, but I think there’s no problem here. OP said she was waffling – now she has decided. So, have the conversation, then follow through with no contact. If anything, it might be good for OP to have a final moment of ‘ending’
Have the convo and then GHOST…
well…it’s not ghosting if she says “we’re over and I think it’s best if we have no further contact”.
But yes, have the conversation, shut the door on the relationship in your mind and then do NOT make contact with him, or entertain attempts from him to make contact.
Fine as long as she follows thru. But the fact is she has tried unsuccessfully 10x to break it off. He can easily wheedle his way back into her heart (and panties) unless she breaks away now. Once she’s back in bed with him it’s curtains, and the cycle will start all over again.
Um, we were never back in bed. The most interaction after I said no contact was a text or an email here and there. I haven’t even had physical contact or an in-person meeting with him since the break-up, but thanks for assuming that.
I agree, I don’t think the last convo to tell him that you’re done, now that you are 100% sure, is so bad. I don’t necessarily think you can always have closure, but I’m personally inclined to actually have a discussion. And, at this point, you’ve scheduled this, right? I would have the conversation but keep it brief, be firm and tell him that you’re not going to respond to any calls or messages going forward. Taking the high road . . .
And good luck and hugs to you.
For anyone still around, it went well. There was as much closure as there was going to be. I made it clear I was not going to try again after not being previously clear on that point. He was kind, thanked me, said he would not reach out ever again. It was one of the better conversations we have had since last year. I am sad, but relieved.
Good for you. Now stick with it!
Oh, I will. I was never the one who initiated and only responded when I was being wishy-washy on what I wanted. Honestly, part of him reaching out to me was my on-going waffling about not knowing what I wanted, but now that I have clearly expressed what I want (no second chance at all, ever), I really do believe he will respect it. Obviously, I have not disclosed all of the details of our relationship here, but we came together at a REALLY bad time for him. We both agree it would have been prudent for him to say he wasn’t in a place to enter into a relationship when we did, but there’s nothing that can be changed about that. I helped him through one of the hardest periods of his life and while it resulted in me not being treated well towards the end, perhaps that was my purpose in his life. I learned more about myself and my approach to relationship and I do not regret it. Life goes on, I will be fine, he will be fine, and we both wish each other the best.
Sorry if this is dumb question, but what do you do with really nice stuff that is worn out, like a luxury bag that has leather peeling from the handles? Do you literally throw it into your trash can? I feel weird throwing away expensive things and also feel weird donating stuff that is used and not worth a new buyer, so the stuff just accumulates in my closet. Any suggestions?
Oddly enough, even where it’s really damaged (say your purse with the peeling leather you describe), you can often sell those things on eBay (KEY – with a TON of disclosures about condition). Just list for really cheap and be upfront. Some people are still just in to the status of certain designer/luxury items, even if super worn. And I feel less like it’s getting just thrown out then I would if I sent to Goodwill or another donation site. Otherwise, if it’s damaged beyond anyone’s use, I just throw away. Not great, but not sure what else to do.
I would definitely donate this to my favorite local place. A luxury bag?!?! Shoot, with peeling handles I’m sure many of us would consider a quick fix with a sharpie marker or duct tape if it would work.
Many people cannot afford these things and would snatch them up, even with wear. Many people are also incredibly handy and can refurbish things.
And if I liked the bag, I would take it to my “leather guy” to see if there is something that could be done if I wanted to try to keep it.
I’m very much a fan of the “Repair cafe” lifestyle.
My grandmother was a hoarder and she passed away recently, leaving my family to deal with her house full of possessions. We had to throw a lot of them away for the reasons mentioned above (too damaged to sell or donate or keep using). But it felt weird to know that they would be burried in a landfill all the same.
Not sure what’s so bad about throwing out worn out items. We buy them in order to use them – if they’re worn out, it means they were used to their maximum potential.
Because in a lot of cases I know that they are too worn out/broken to be used further but also they they are not going to decompose (like plastic children’s toys). So yeah, it does feel weird to throw them away. Because they will sit as is in a big pile for the rest of my lifetime. And that bothers me.
Buy less :)
Find a place that does textile recycling.
Well, leather repair guys can work wonders (I had a vintage saddle that was cracked and peeling and they made it look new), so my first stop would be a leather repair shop.
Then I’d sell on eBay. As others said, people care more about the label than condition. I know I’ve seen Louboutins go for $100-200 that were beat to hell and looked like kindling.
Finally, Etsy is a great place to sell. I’ve sold beat up leather bags that buyers than took apart and upcycled in other projects.
Please just tell him
and move on.
I like the idea of saying this to a worn-out bag.
I throw things out. Selling on ebay is a real option but not worth the hassle (to me) for the amount I’d get. I think we attach more value to our possessions than they’re worth to others because we paid for them, we used them and often we loved them, but a bag with peeling handles or a big stain (even if otherwise pristine) is worth only a tiny fraction of its original cost. If you have the time to sell on ebay, go for it.
+1, I sell a lot of my used designer things on ebay and it is a hassle. And it only works if you’re very honest with yourself about how much your used stuff is actually worth (ie, designers shoes will sell, but only if you’re willing to take $50 for them)
long time lurker
Have a garage sale/ yard sale / stoop sale (depending on what area of the country you are in) and sell all this stuff at once? Even better, do it with friends and advertise.
Never too many shoes...
Most luxury leather goods companies will repair damage to their items indefinitely, so I would actually take it to them first before doing anything else. But for anything less than that, just donate or throw out and move on.
I’m 30 and am just now diving into retirement savings (it sounds bad, I know, but neither my husband nor I has ever had an employer match and we are now completely debt free and plan to redirect the large sum we were spending on our mortgage to retirement and not upgrade our lifestyle at all).
Specifically I’m wondering:
-How do you choose a fund from the list of options? I see numbers about average annual return and cumulative total return, which is more meaningful? Does it need to be diversified, i.e. should my husband and I both invest in the fund that looks the best (we have the same employer) or should we pick two different ones?
-We seem to be paying a lot in record-keeping fees, about $20 a quarter. Is there any way to avoid these or are they inevitable? Will these go up as our balance grows or will they remain fixed?
-Our balance is only going up through our own contributions, I don’t see any interest or anything. When does that happen, at the end of the year?
Any suggestions for resources for someone who is generally financially savvy and not scared of math but knows nothing about the specifics of retirement savings accounts?
So first, don’t beat yourself up. You’re completely debt free, which very few people can say! That’s an awesome achievement and puts you way ahead.
Secondly, is this a 401K? Is there an employer match? Or is it a IRA?
If you don’t know what you’re doing, a target-date fund might be for you. You pick the date you plan on retiring, and it automatically adjusts your investments. It will be aggressive to start, but get more conservative as you get closer to retirement age. Target-date funds have been found to get better returns than some professional financial advisors, so they’re a good bet if you want to just pick a fund and forget about it.
For record keeping, who are using to invest? Fees and commissions are dependent on the company, the level of service, etc.
-For the balance, what are you currently invested in? If you’re only doing cash or bonds, you won’t see much movement (if any at all).
-Suze Orman’s book Women & Money is older and I know a lot of people don’t like her, but I found her to be very helpful when I was just starting out and had no idea what a 401K was or an ETF.
At 30 you both should be putting a LOT into whichever fund option(s) closely matches the S&P. So look for those fund options — you’ll be able to tell by composition bc they will have 500 stocks give or take. If there’s more than one S&P option, go for the one with the absolute lowest expense ratio — these are NOT expensive funds to administer and you’re wasting money if you’re putting it into one that charges you 1% per $1000 (or something like that); you want to be at 0.1-0.25% for 100k.
How much you put in the S&P is dependent on your own risk tolerance but given that you are only 30, I’d say at least 80% if not more; the rest can be split amongst a small cap and/or international and/or bond fund option. It’s fine for you and your husband to invest the same way right now — you can diversify over time if needed but assuming he’s 30 also, your goals are the same.
Can you list your fund options? People may be able to help specifically.
Thanks anon2 and KT. It’s a 403(b) (non-profit employer), managed by Fidelity. No employer match.
I have a choice of a bunch of different target retirement date funds, index funds, and actively managed funds. It looks like the index and target date funds have much lower fees than the actively managed funds (makes sense), with the index funds being slightly lower (mostly ~.05-.07%) than the target date funds (.1%). The index funds are: VINIX, VIEIX, VFWSX, VBTIX and VIPIX. VFWSX has a higher fee and lower cumulative rate of return than most of the target date funds. VINIX and VIEIX have a higher YTD rate of return than the target date funds and lower fees, so I guess I’m leaning towards those. The other two index funds seem pretty comparable to the target date funds.
I’m totally with index funds.
Can you say why you’re into index funds vs target date funds? Also – anyone know how they’re different? Aren’t target date funds just a type of index fund? If so, why would the fees be different?
Target date funds don’t follow any one index — they will be a mix of assets based on the target retirement date; so for a 30 yr old, the target fund will likely have you in 80% equities and 20% bonds with the equities broken down by large vs. small cap and then by int’l vs. domestic. So that requires a bit more management than an index fund which follows (by algorithm) the S&P 500. No manager is making any decisions whether to invest your money in anything or not — if the stock is in the S&P, it is in the index, and thus it is in the index fund.
Very helpful, thanks!
wish it was two button though. don’t love single button blazers
I have a short waist and they’re allllll I can wear. That suit is gorgeous.
This suit is so gorgeous and makes me wish I could wear suits to work!
Just realized the Ray-bans I bought at the Rack for $79 are $190 at Nordstrom. Score!
She looks distorted — like her real waist is empire-waist level. Do not like.
This is my body, and seems to be the Reiss tendency? Slightly higher waists, and it appears to flatter a pear shape.
The friendly ghost
I’m getting new furniture and thinking about switching to a bed frame with slats and a casper (or similar) mattress instead of a box spring. Can anyone comment on the comfort of a bed with slats or a platform? Hard/softer than a box spring? No difference at all except height?
We have a platform bed that it just the top mattress, no box spring. It’s totally comfy; I can’t say I feel any difference than a standard mattress arrangement. Our bed is a raised platform, so even the height is the same.
I did add a memory foam topper, because I am basically the princess and the pea and am ridiculous about my mattress.
Just want to point out that if you like the idea of box spring but don’t want the height, check out a bunky board. Crate & Barrel sells them. I have slats and it’s fine, I don’t notice anything notable about it vs a box spring.
+1 on using a bunky board instead of a box spring – but you don’t have to pay C&B prices for one, they sell them at any mattress store. It makes the whole making the bed thing much easier than without one (without giving you the significant height of a box spring). We have bunky boards on 3 of our beds, including our master, and don’t notice any difference in comfort
We just switched to a memory foam mattress on a frame and don’t miss the box spring at all.
I have done memory foam mattress with box spring and without and I think its hotter without the box under for air flow.
I’ve only ever slept on a mattress + slats combination (except on holiday). All of Europe can’t be wrong.
Late to this but I just replaced a slatted bed with a storage bed with slats (we don’t do boxsprings in the UK) and got tatami (bamboo) mats to go under the mattress. They make a huge difference and may be worth looking into.
I’ve had a flat bed since I got my first bed in med school. A simple, well constructed wood that looks nice. I can’t believe it, but I am sleeping on the same futon mattress I got then 25 years ago! I added a Costco topper to it 5 years ago. But I sleep well, anywhere.
How would equal pay for women be legislated?
Lots of ways. Here’s one: https://www.congress.gov/bill/114th-congress/house-bill/1619
So this may be a stupid question but with NY adopting the uniform bar exam finally, what does this mean for those who are already admitted in the state? Are we just out of luck because we took the “wrong” exam?
Bar Admission Handcuffs
I would be shocked if by switching to a different exam they were also effectively revoking the licenses of the millions of attorneys in NY State. That just makes no sense. You areout of luck in the sense that you had to study WAY harder for a much more difficult exam, though. ( I also took NY)
I assume she’s not asking if her NY admission is going to be revoked but if she’ll get reciprocity in any other states with the UBE. And I would think the answer is no.
That makes way more sense. Duh. Should probably have another cup of coffee!
Yes, you are admitted in NY only, the same way everyone who took a state-specific exam is admitted in the state where they took they exam. You only took a NY exam, not the uniform exam.
Gail the Goldfish
Probably yes, but I’m not sure it will matter practically speaking depending on how long you’ve been practicing. Because UBE doesn’t mean you’re automatically admitted in other states, just that your score transfers, right? You’d still have to meet the state’s other admission requirements (C&F, etc). And I’m assuming that states using the UBE largely have reciprocity with each other, so you could get admitted without taking the bar anyway, if you’ve been practicing long enough in your first state. Have any of the states that don’t have a lot of reciprocity (CA, FL spring to mind) adopted the UBE?
I have a workplace etiquette question. I work in an open space office with about six other people. We each have our own little desk area, but it’s essentially an open floorplan. One of my co-workers is constantly on the phone (be it personal or checking in with someone else in the firm), or talking to himself and narrating all his actions out loud. It’s gotten to the point where I find it really hard to tune him out, and I can still hear him even if I have one headphone in (we’re not allowed to have both headphones in). I’ve mentioned it to my boss (who is also in the same space, but has a small office with a door. Think “The Office” type set up.) and he said he would try and keep an eye on it. It’s been steadily getting worse, and I’m at a loss for what to do. I’m pretty sensitive to noises – I can’t tune them out at all (though I acknowledge that’s a me problem to work on) and I’m finding that the stream of chatter from my co-worker is throwing me off and distracting me.
Is it worth going to my boss again and asking him if he’s noticed it as well?
Have you talked to the coworker? That might be worth a shot rather than just going to the boss. He likely does it absent-mindedly and doesn’t realize he’s being noisy/narrating to himself. He might be completely mortified once you mention it and that will solve it.
Yeah, I’ve tried mentioning it to him and he shrugs me off. Usually if I catch his eye when he’s on the phone or being particularly loud he’ll lower his voice, but always does with an eye roll.
When he’s just talking to him self “can you keep it down? Sorry, it’s distracting.”
My boss did this at my last job and it was horrible. I sympathize. Some people are so wrapped up in their own heads they don’t realize that they are annoying everyone else around them by narrating their every action and thought. It’s kind of amazing how clueless people are. I got noise-cancelling headphone but it didn’t do nearly enough to cover up the sound. I wish there was a simple answer.
Anyone have recommendations on activities or restaurants in Alberta? Specifically Banff, Lake Louise, or Jasper. Heading up in early September!
Willow Stream Spa at the Fairmont Banff Springs – Loved it!
How long are you going for? What kind of activities are you wanting to do – hiking and the like or something else?
There are tons of fabulous restaurants in Banff and Canmore – what kind of dining are you looking for?
Going for about 3-4 days in each place. SO and I would love to do outdoorsy things. Open to any dining options, will probably do at least 2 or 3 nicer dinners.
Sorry I was quite busy yesterday and am hoping you will get this. Banff National Park is one of our favorite places on earth. For dining in Banff the Eden restaurant at the Rimrock Resort Hotel is beyond lovely, although quite spendy. Le Beaujolais downtown on Banff Ave is very classic French and fun – silver domes over the food, etc. but friendly and nice service. I have friends who swear by the Post Hotel in Lake Louise for dining but can’t comment myself. The Maple Leaf Grill is quite nice also. The Banff townsite is full of restaurants and pubs and you can get just about any kind of food you want anytime.
There are tons of amazing day hikes in the area. You can climb up Sulfur Mountain in Banff in less than two hours if you’re at all fit, and take the gondola down (or both ways if you’re taking it easy) – their new upper mountain facilities open August 1 I think. Tunnel Mountain in Banff is an easy 45 minute walk with some nice views. The Teahouses in Lake Louise are not to be missed and will certainly still be open when you are there – one about 90 minutes’ hike, one about 3 hours, or you could climb up to Saddleback Pass/Mount Fairview on the other side of the lake and pack your own lunch. Laggins Bakery in town is a classic for things to throw in your pack to have a picnic up top. Ha Ling Peak in Canmore is also spectacular. If you want longer hikes and are slightly brave you could do Mt. Rundle in Banff but it might be snowy at the top by then and does have one kind of scary part. Also Cascade Mountain is spectacular but a whole long day to go up and back. Johnson Canyon and the Ink Pots are lovely day hikes but the Canyon portion can be incredibly busy and full of tourists walking the trail in their heels!
Willow Stream Spa is very nice in the Banff Springs Hotel, and the hotel itself is fun to visit and explore. You can have afternoon tea in the Rundle Lounge, or a more casual lunch or supper there. Their “fine dining” restaurant has gone more high-end steakhouse and I don’t love it as much but their other restaurants are really nice.
I don’t know Jasper as well – you might be able to tell we spend most of our time in Banff, but I hear it is lovely there – smaller and less touristy maybe as a town.
Hope you have a wonderful time in our beautiful mountains!
Whoops – forgot to say you might also be able to do white-water rafting or horseback riding in Banff and Lake Louise. Also the boat trip on Lake Minniewanka is surprisingly fun and not boring at all!
Just wanted to say thank you for this!! We are so excited and this is massively helpful.
(not that) Ellen
Hubby and I went there for our honeymoon… gorgeous place. The wonderful b&b we stayed at in Banff seems unfortunately to be closed, but the Rundlestone Lodge was also very nice. The Chateau LL was out of our price range (and wouldn’t have been worth it unless you can afford one of the really nice rooms as opposed to the $500/night shoebox rooms), but we “roughed it” in LL at Paradise Lodge & Cabins. The cabin we stayed in was really nice. In LL, in fact right behind the lake itself, the Plain of Six Glaciers trail is very worth doing; beautiful all the way up and at the top there is a tea house where you can get soup, a sandwich, hot cocoa, etc. One of my favorite parts of our trip. We also drove up the very scenic Icefields Pkway and took one of the snowcat “tours” of Athabasca glacier. You don’t go out very far on it, but it’s pretty neat anyway.
Anybody get something from the NAS that you really love?
Yes! The Caslon leather drape jacket in black. Been looking for one for years and I’m petite and was thrilled to have it fit perfectly. Also ordered Clairsonic brushes, spanx bra-lellujah (best bra ever!) & Eileen fisher silk tee in Black. But I also sent back quite a bit too.
Caslon moto sweater. Love it.
a short sleeved tahari sheath dress in navy with a gold accent that i would have bought in at least two other colors had they had something other than kelly green. and the spanx faux leather leggings to upgrade/replace ones from urban outfitters i’ve worn to death.
French Connection Peacoat in black, silver buttons, great quality. Classic. Run a little big, arms are long.
I was looking at this coat, so I’m glad to hear it’s good quality! Thanks!
Well, then. I’ve been told that I can expect a decision re: my dream job… when the HR person comes back from vacation at the end of August.
I love France, and French culture, but sometimes…
Just remind yourself that this means they’re okay with you taking your own month long vacation… dream job indeed! :)
Thanks for the laugh, and the reminder! Fingers crossed I’ll be taking advantage of all that vacation time this time next year!
Random poll: if I say to you ” I am going to turn the AC up” do you understand me to mean that I am trying to make the room wArmer (as in turn the temperature up) or make the room colder ( as in, turn the blower from low to high)?
Warmer but my husband uses it to mean colder. We usually say “I’m going to turn the temperature [up/down]” to avoid confusion.
We have the same issue but the roles are reversed, and we also go with “temperature up/down” or “make it warmer/colder”.
I take it to mean warmer
Colder. You are turning up the power on the AC. Everyone else is wrong and horrible and should be exiled.
+1 Amen. more juice to AC machine. You are all fired.- Donald Trump.
Up = power (for both heat and AC, although for heat, conveniently there’s no inconsistency in meaning!)
Warmer, because we have a thermostat so turning it up = making it warmer.
I use “up” to mean colder, but then I always quality by actually saying “colder” because it’s so easy to misinterpret this.
Thanks everyone. Glad to know the majority view supports my position !
Has anyone used ThreadUp, Poshmark, or TheRealReal? Any thoughts on which one is the best? I have a small number of nicer items (e.g., Reiss dresses) that are in good condition but no longer fit. I’m looking for cash for them (rather than online credit). Suggestions?
I’ve used Thread Up and I find it’s better for more mall brand items (selling wise at least) than designer or for selling purses. With purses, they do it consignment style so that you actually can get a fair penny for a nice bag. With clothing, it’s pennies on the dollar (if that).
I’ve only used ThredUp, but I was pretty disappointed in it. Every item was a brand they say they accept and the items were in what I would describe as mint condition. Most were rejected. The only things that were accepted were basically new with tags, and even then they paid out a lot less than I expected given the ranges on their website. E.g, they said they paid up to $10 for an H&M dress and only gave me $5 for an H&M work dress with the tags on.
I’ve used ThredUp to buy things and I’ve been very happy. I’ve used ThredUp to sell things and I’ve been a little disappointed. I sent 4 HUGE bags of clothes (that honestly, I otherwise would have donated) and got $100. All of the clothes were in decent condition, none of them were terribly expensive. If you would otherwise donate the clothes, I’d go with ThredUp. That said, it did take 5+ weeks for them to “process” my bags. Again, fine with me, because I otherwise would have donated, but overall a little disappointing.
I’ve tried the realreal and they’re pretty picky about what they accept. they only took a few kate spade purses, and didn’t accept any of my older maxmara, neiman marcus, or longchamp leather bags! they do send them back but i was hoping they would have accepted.
Agree w/ what’s already been said about ThredUp. I’ve sent quite a few items I would’ve donated anyway and not got very much for the clothes. I’ve had much more success with purses.
I was extremely disappointed with shoes though. I sent 5 pairs of Cole Haan pumps in good to mint condition, depending on the pair, and they didn’t take any of them. I had previously sold a pair of heeled Cole Haan sandals through ThredUp and made a decent amount on the sale and had thought to do well on the pumps. I was pretty annoyed honestly.
Pretty late to the game but I’ve used Poshmark and really like it.
You set your price If you want things gone quickly (i.e. cash now), price it low. If you dont mind waiting awhile, price competitive to others on Poshmark.
I gave a friend of mine bags of stuff to sell on Poshmark because I am too lazy. We split the cash. I’ve made over $200 already. She styles the items which I think helps.
I feel like thred up essentially stole from me. I gave them never worn dresses that I had taken the tags off of but changed my mind off them and they didn’t accept them. It was ridiculous. Postmark is a little more work but I received 36 so far for two dresses
I used ThredUp after a major closet cleanout last year and did very well. I averaged about $170/bag. I sent mostly clothes that I packed really tightly (the bags were so heavy by the end!) a lot of mall stores like Jcrew, Madewell, Banana, Gap, etc., though I did have some nicer things from, say, Saks like DVF, RL, designer jeans, etc. I know I could have made more on eBay or something with the nicer stuff, but to me getting rid of all of that in one fell swoop and getting paid that quickly was worth it – as I said it was a major cleanout and I filled like 8 bags. I hadn’t cleaned my closet in like 5 years, though, and kept moving to bigger closets in the meantime, so it was time. I will definitely do it again this year. It felt awesome.
In House Lobbyist
I love, love, love Poshmark. I’m on it every day! I like it because you know what your items sells for and you set the price. ThreadUp is essentially a donation in my opinion.
to those of you who don’t have any kind of emergency supplies and/or a go-bag… please reconsider.
There is a massive fire in my state that swelled rapidly out of control, and families are being asked to evacuate with very little notice. Especially if you have medical conditions, dependents, or pets, make sure you’re adequately prepared.
This is a good, sensible article that talks about packing a go-bag for smaller emergencies and doesn’t fall into prepper paranoia: http://www.wired.com/2013/06/the-risks-you-dont-think-of-a-plea-to-pack-a-go-bag/
You might not need it, but… please do have one on hand. Just in case.
This is good and timely reminder. Thanks!
I packed a bag for the 10th anniversary of 9/11 and while occasionally I have to go through it and replace items (pet food on occasion, mostly), it is so handy to have it. Since you hope you never use it, you just pack it up once and have it on hand forever, which is super convenient.
Honestly, I do think that is paranoid where I live. I’m definitely never going to put all my treasured mementos in a “to go” bag. If I need to leave quickly, I can grab a few things (laptop, charger, clothes, documents, wallet) and leave very quickly in about 5 minutes… or just my purse is enough in a true emergency. It’s not like I’m going to sit down for a few hours carefully picking things out and iron my clothes while my house burns down.
Anon, I thought that too… until flash floods hit my home city. Now I’m careful to keep at least some supplies at home, and have a bag packed just in case. I don’t want to accidentally forget something important during what will likely be an incredibly stressful time.
But in the case of flash floods, that is plenty of time to grab something out of my closet. Also, I really wouldn’t need to grab anything other than a wallet because I can easily drive somewhere else and stay with family/friends or in a hotel. If I’m trapped in rising waters, I don’t see why having a packed bag would matter unless I am missing something?
Thanks for the reminder. We have supplies and know where they are but it’s likely worth it to put some of it in a bag in case we have to evacuate. I also would have totally forgotten to include cat food…
Pet, important papers, pet food and pet necessities, some clothes, jewelry, things I would be heartbroken to lose: 15 minutes.
It wouldn’t be pretty (except for the “packing the pet and his things” part, which I have down to a 3 minute art form), but it would get done.
I have emergency stuff like a an emergency leash (in case someone else needs it) and a muzzle (sometimes required by emergency shelters) that I keep in the go bag because I’d need them in emergencies, but I also only would need them in emergencies.
This is a question I have always pondered about emergencies and important documents. I am thinking about SS card, passport, birth certificate, etc. Is it better to have these in the home or better to have them in a safe deposit box at a bank? It seems more likely that they could be stolen, lost, or damaged by fire, floods, etc. in your home, no?
I would never keep my passport in a safe deposit box at the bank. If a loved one is involved in an emergency situation overseas and I need to be by their side ASAP, I want the ability to head to the airport ASAP without worrying about bank opening hours.
We have all these documents in a small fire-safe box with a handle. I keep intending to put all our photos on flash drives in the box too. If we had to evacuate for a weather emergency or wildfire, we would just grab the box. If we had to escape from a house fire without the box, it would supposedly survive.
Claire Underwood's hair
So is Claire Underwood’s hairstyle a classic, work-appropriate one in your book?
My hair is her type/texture, but brown with grey streaks. I’m thinking of going with my grey, and trying to tighten up the rest of my look.
The only jewelry I wear are a pair of Tahitian pearl (grey) earrings or Nordstrom CZ studs, and my mother’s diamond ring.
Can I be Claire?
I don’t think I could pull it off but I think her hair is definitely classic and completely work-appropriate.
You can’t be Claire. You don’t have a wardrobe department tailing designer clothes to exactly fit you, or a trailer full of makeup personnel to ensure your face looks perfect from every angle at every second. You also aren’t Robin Wright.
But her hair is totally work-appropriate and you can totally get the cut. Just don’t expect to look like Claire Underwood afterwards.
+1 to this
Claire Underwood's hair
ouch. kinda kidding guys.
i get it. nevermind.
The good news is that you probably aren’t a scheming sociopath either!
Personally, I love her haircut, think it’s totally appropriate, and wish I could pull it off!!
YOU BE CLAIRE IF YOU WANT TO BE CLAIRE, GIRL! XO
Wow you are rude AF! There is no need for this “you can’t be Claire Underwood” BS.
OP: I absolutely think this is a work appropriate hairstyle. Rock on!
She asked specifically if she could be Claire Underwood. How is it “rude AF” to answer her questions? Jesus.
The way you answered it was unnecessarily snarky. You didn’t need to cut her down. She was asking something very clear and you took it as an opportunity to be nasty.
Come on you know saying your not Robin wright is a way of saying it as harsh as possible. For what it’s with op there are a few women in my office that have a very similar vibe and I’m always very jealous of them – they look amazing
Uhm no. Saying you’re not Robin Wright is saying it as gently as possible. She’s an impossible standard. OP can be stunning, with a great wardrobe, and amazing makeup skills, and she’s *still* not going to look like someone scripted/designed/managed/produced to be on TV. Thats an impossible goal. Women should be allowed to be themselves without having to be TV characters.
Okay can someone explain one size thongs to me? I just received one that i ordered in the mail and it barely fits! I’m a rather small person too, so I can’t imagine it fitting someone larger than me. Am I missing something?
What brand? I’ve seen the one size option on cheaper thongs and they don’t have enough stretch to accommodate a wide range of sizes. Hanky Panky ones do fit a wide variety (I’m a 2 with wide hips and a lot of rear, and they fit me, we well as my size 8 and size 12 friends) but even they make both a petite and plus version.
Size-ist conspiracy to make me feel deformed because I don’t fit those stupid one size fits most hanky panky things.
Brunette Elle Woods
I’m a small in thongs and an extra small in anything that provides full coverage. Just size up.
Appendicitis or Constipation?
Need some hive real talk. Have been feeling nauseated and dizzy for a few days, chalked it up to nursing and hormones and fatigue.
This afternoon I suddenly got a very sharp pain in my stomach that has now shifted to the right. It feels like a stitch in my side. It’s manageable when I am seated, but when I am standing I am hunching over because it hurts so badly to move. I’ve also been uh, backed up for a few days, so I’m torn. I tend towards hypochondria, and I do not want to leave the office for urgent care, cancel my plans tonight, etc, because I’m constipated. And yet. If it is appendicitis, I need to go to the hospital. Can anyone relate their experiences with onset? Am I crazy for thinking this might be appendicitis?
Do you have a fever? Because appendicitis is an infection, it will generally have an accompanying fever.
Do you have a doctor with a nurse hotline you can call? Personally I’d probably go in, but I tend towards hypochondria too. Fwiw, constipation and nausea are symptoms of appendicitis, so I wouldn’t assume that it’s either/or. It could very well be both.
This happened to me when I had a kidney stone. I’d just go to the doctor.
Are you running a fever? You probably would with appendicitis but wouldn’t if you’re just backed up.
Why don’t you drink a cup of coffee and see if it works itself out?
Could you be dehydrated?
Push hard (or have someone else push hard) on the *left* side of your abdomen & release quickly. If you have appendicitis it should make your appendix hurt (alot!)
Don’t push on the right side or you could rupture the appendix if it is swollen but not ruptured.
Hey I had appendicitis and it wasn’t manageable even while sitting. I was sweating and screaming in pain in the fetal position, and even breathing hurt because of my torso moving with each breath. I thought an alien was going to come out of me like in the movie. That being said, if it felt like this (extreme pain of 10) but then lowers to like a 5, you could still have a partial rupture which is even more dangerous because people won’t go to the hospital, and then your abdomen is filled with toxins and you will have a worse surgery.
Other things to consider are: yes, your bowels, or a possible ovarian cyst bursting (that happened to a cousin).
I had appendicitis earlier this year. Presented as all over stomach ache Saturday night, by Sunday evening I had a fever and couldn’t keep food down, went to doctors on Monday morning and was in surgery by Monday at 5. Was never in agony, pain was manageable but still unlike any type of ache or pain I had felt before so I knew something was up. Was definitely hunched over. Apparently should have googled what not to do, haha because I totally was pressing on my lower right abdomen. Turns out my appendix was three times its normal size. Anyways, I know it’s late but just providing anec-data!
Bottom line is, go in and get it checked out. A lot of people think appendicitis always presents in the same way–it totally doesn’t. (I had an atypical presentation–my doctor didn’t believe that it was appendicitis so sent me home multiple times. It ended up bursting and he and other docs still didn’t think it was appendicitis until 3 weeks after it had burst, so I almost died. So I am sensitive to this issue…) It certainly sounds like appendicitis but it could be other things too, as others have said: cyst, bowel issue, etc. Best case scenario, it’s nothing major. But the worst case scenario could be pretty bad.
Go to a doctor!!
This is late to the conversation, but in case anyone is still reading I wanted to pose my cautionary tale about disregarding symptoms because you don’t feel that bad… A few years ago I went to a cocktail party and ate a bunch of decadent appetizers and when I came home my stomach felt a bit off. In the morning it still felt odd, not terrible pain, but not your normal stomachache. I was talking to my mom on the phone and rubbing my stomach and it was a bit more tender on the right side. My mom told me I should go to the ER because it could be appendicitis, but I blew it off and blamed it on the excessively rich food the night before. I had a chiropractor appointment for my back that morning, and I mentioned it to him. He insisted that I go to the ER and be checked out. Since I felt mostly fine, I thought he was being overly cautious and I didn’t want to waste the time of the ER so I went to urgent care instead. I read my kindle and waited and when the doctor finally saw me he said that — aside from the fact that I was still upright — I was presenting classic appendicitis symptoms (the tenderness, constipation, etc.) and told me I needed to go to the ER for tests immediately. I drove to the hospital, parked, and went into the ER. Several hours later, after multiple tests (contrast and MRI I think? It’s been a long time), they told me that I was going to have emergency surgery either that evening if a surgeon was available, or first thing the next morning, and that I was being admitted. Everyone was shocked that I had driven myself to the hospital and — while uncomfortable — was not actually in any acute pain. I had an appendectomy at 6am the next morning. I was really lucky – I was diagnosed before it burst. It’s a fine line to walk, between being responsibly diligent and being a hypochondriac… but I urge everyone I know now to know the symptoms and act on the side of caution.
Over the past year or so, I’ve become very depressed and I’m thinking it would probably be a good idea to talk to someone about it. I’m very overwhelmed with picking a therapist though. My health insurance does cover mental health costs but I honestly don’t know what that actually means. Do I need to see an actual healthcare provider who can prescribe meds (i.e. psychiatrist) or would any therapist qualify (i.e. psychologist)?
Also, along the line of meds and what type of provider to choose: I don’t really think that I need medicine since my depression is really situational. However, of course I have no clue whether a professional would agree with my assessment or not, so should I try to find a therapist who would be able to prescribe me meds just in case?
Finally, my method of picking a provider will be based upon using online resources/providers who accept my insurance and are taking new patients. I’m really, really uncomfortable with asking any of my current physicians for a referral. Other than reading reviews and what the therapists themselves have to say, is there anything that I should make sure a future provider is qualified for (i.e. like certain types of therapies or such)?
I’m willing to take the time to research and try to find a good fit so that I don’t give up after potentially not meshing well with my first try (a very likely probability). Obviously, I’d like to find someone sooner rather than later, but it’s not like I’m suicidal and need immediate therapy. It’s just that my depression is starting to affect my daily life choices – it’s kind of hard to push myself to do what I perceive as “extras” when it feels like I have a heavy stone sitting in my chest.
You’ve been depressed for a year? Yeah- try meds!!!!!
If you don’t need a referral literally just pick whoever takes your insurance, is close, where you can get in. Worry about fit later.
It’s been off and on for a year – not a constant feeling but present enough. It’s only gotten bad the past few months though.
I generally use meds as a last resort so I’m a bit surprised at the recommendation to get on them immediately! I really think that I just need someone unbiased to talk to before I jump on meds, so I don’t know, fit seems kind of important, no? I don’t want to have to hop around to different providers.
It’s just that garden variety depression really isn’t that hard to treat. You don’t have a zebra disease. Look around if you want, but a) you won’t be able to tell “fit” until you meet with them and b) “fit” is overrated. You can look a long time for perfect especially if depression is clouding your judgment.
Would you be in physical pain for a year and then be surprised someone suggests maybe an Advil?
Good point. It’s not that I’m against medicine as an effective treatment. I just figured that that would be more of a last resort, as I can’t stand the full blast of side effects that lucky me always seems to get.
No, you shouldn’t think of medicine as a last resort. You should think of it as a bridge, that you can use to stabilize your current situation while you work on alternative treatment options. You can always taper off it in the future.
The best treatment for a 1 year depression… even situational depression… is often meds + counseling. But as finding a good therapist can be challenging and takes time, the meds can be a useful bridge. With the therapist, you will work on coping skills, addressing underlying issues, learning about how to self care etc…
Meanwhile, try to get outside for a walk in the sun a little every day. Try to start some sort of exercise, is you aren’t doing it. Work on sleeping, and trying to eat a bit better. Look up Mindfulness on the web (the Harvard site has some decent links) and if anxiety is part of your picture, try a few of the simple, mindfulness, breathing exercises.
It does concern me a little that you do not feel like you can ask your own doctor for a referral. What’s that all about? This is what doctors are for.
I think fit is important – you want someone you feel comfortable with and even if you do end up taking meds, research shows that most people improve more quickly with a combination of medication and talk therapy. I mean, don’t not do it because you can’t find the absolutely perfect person, obviously, but I’m not getting that vibe from you.
I just went through some of this. The research is hard – the Psychology Today database is useful, but to a certain extent it’s a guessing game. If you have any friends you know are in therapy or who work in the mental health field who you’re comfortable asking, that’s a good way to go. That’s what I did and it worked.
I wouldn’t worry about finding a psychiatrist. Psychologists are generally pretty well-versed in when to suggest medication and who to refer to you to. That part will be easy if it is something that needs to happen.
As to insurance, does your insurance cover any out-of-network costs? At least in major cities, it’s much easier to find someone who doesn’t take insurance and then get it reimbursed as an out-of-network claim.
thanks to ObamaCare insurance has to provide the same type of benefits that you have for traditional physician office visits to mental health visits – if you trust your primary care or GYN, ask for suggestions