Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Ribbed Wrap Cardigan Sweater
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Even though the calendar says that it’s late April, we’re still getting snow at my house. This ribbed wrap cardigan sweater looks like it would be super cozy to snuggle up in, while still looking somewhat pulled together. This will also be great once the office air-conditioning starts coming on full-blast in the next few months.
The sweater is $39.99, marked down from $89.95 — and with code PERK, you can get an extra 50% off today, which brings it down to $19.99. It's available in regular, tall, and petite sizes and also comes in olive green. Ribbed Wrap Cardigan Sweater
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Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
- when to toss old clothes of a different size
- a list of political actions to take right now
- ways to increase your intelligence
- what to wear when getting sworn in as a judge (congrats, reader!)
- how to break into teaching as a second career
Any recommendations for how to find a couple’s counsellor? I guess it’ll have to be online. DH and I keep on having the same very circular arguments which have turned into arguments about how we argue. Thanks!!
Check out the Gottman Institute find a couples therapy link: https://www.gottman.com/couples/find-a-therapist/
+1 to Gottman.
If you have a Pastor or a Rabbi that you both trust, you can start there. When Rosa found out that Ed had went to a Gentelmen’s Club in NYC and had a lap dance, she had her Rabbi (who is a woman), intermediate and that worked b/c Ed promised never to get into a compromising position with another woman again.
Right now, b/c of Social Distancing, he would never be abel to do that again anyway! So it is a good idea to start with a religous counselor. If that doesn’t work for you, then follow the advise of the other OP’s. And good luck to you. Men can really be a pain, especially if you have to be with them 24/7 b/c of the virus. FOOEY!
Also +1 to Gottman. If you don’t have luck with them, though, the Psychology Today therapist finder is very helpful and how I found my wonderful therapist. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
HMU with your favorite long tee shirts to wear over leggings since that will be my uniform for the foreseeable future. I have done tall sizes from Old Navy before but trying to find out if you all have other options. I’m wearing them so much I need a few more.
Someone posted on here yesterday about a basics sale on macy’s, which is no longer on today, but they have a really nice selection of tunic style shirts. There is a section under their women’s site called Stay at Home Essentials that has a lot of leggings, sweatpants, and casual shirts perfect for wfh.
Gap fit
+1 I love their Fit line.
J.Jill has a line called Pure Jill that’s sophisticated athleisure.
Another rec for J. Jill. P.S. I like this sweater and I think it looks comfy, but I would not call it pulled-together.
It made me think of baby Yoda… whoops?
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
I like the Everlane Air Long Sleeve Tee. I don’t normally like long sleeve tees bc they are too clingy. These are nicely oversized. I also like the Prana Cozy Up Sweatshirt.
I find the comentariat over at Ask A Manager to be…interesting at times. The first letter is about a WFH situation where the husband seems to be shirking responsibilities. I feel they are giving him way to much of the benefit of the doubt. That’s just based on my experience with friends who have kids and struggled with getting their husbands to help out.
Well the viewership there is both genders (as opposed to here) so I suspect all the pro husband comments are also useless husbands.
Ha! Yes, it’s really funny to see gender play out in comments. I remember a letter about how women are always stuck with office “housework tasks” (organizing parties, ordering food etc), and Allison specifically rebutted the classic male “I’m just not good at that stuff!” cop-out. A bunch of men proceeded to comment that they’re just not good at that stuff.
They’re a weird bunch. Every time I wade into the comments section there, I tell myself never again. Alison is pretty rational, but I don’t think the comments represent anything like a standard group of normal working people.
It seems like a passive and introverted sort of bunch vs. high achieving on this site…lots of cat stories, chatter of health conditions, how to begin an exercise program
Yes, that’s a good description! I’m and introverted cat lady, but I relate more to the people on this site.
Sheesh you seem to fundamentally misunderstand what introversion is. I’m a very high achieving introverted cat lady. Just because I find social situations draining doesn’t mean I’m not a smart bad*ss lady with a high paying important job.
+1. Plus, how to begin exercise programs and how to stick with them are not infrequent posts here.
The website does have a different commenting base than this one, I just don’t think it’s for the reasons 9:49 anon posted.
+1. That’s one of the bigger problems on this site – people constantly fundamentally misunderstand what introverts are. However, I do know some socially awkward people who make the situation worse by blaming “haha #introvertproblems” for lack of manners when they flake out on plans, etc.
I think everyone here should read there because it gets us out of our super privileged white collar bubble. I very much appreciate reading there because it gives me insight into how my jurors or the employees of my clients think and fail. Also – one can be high achieving and have a cat, a health condition and want to start exercising. We talk about diets and exercise all of the time on here! Yikes.
+1
Ha! I haven’t met any high achievers that post messages about their cats and health conditions. Sorry, the high achievers I know have much better things to do with their time…..frankly, we are busy achieving!
First, that should have said “feel” not “fail.”
Second, are you putting yourself in the high achieving category? How are you finding time to post here then? If you have been reading here long enough you would know we have lots of posts about balancing medical conditions with high expectation jobs as well as people posting when their pets are ill or they are considering getting a pet.
I’m an attorney and I chair the board of a health care facility. I’d say I’m pretty high achieving. I also have multiple chronic medical conditions that I share about on here when people post asking questions about similar issues. I also have a diabetic cat that we have discussed here before too.
Oh, f right out of here with that. I am high achieving and I have a health condition. I post about it because it’s important to my life.
It’s not that the AAM’ers are introverted, it’s that there is a lot of social anxiety among them (cue: how to respond when a coworker says hi in the hallway or wants to engage in small talk in the break room) and they keep mixing it up with introversion. Yet they also are the most likely of any board I’ve ever read to be in polyamorous relationships, which is quite amusing.
Yes this is a good description. I think a lot of people here are introverts but introverted doesn’t mean socially anxious like some posters here assume.
I agree, I think they are (broad generalization) socially anxious, not introverted. I’m always floored by how much they seem to hate any suggestion of social interaction with their colleagues. I realize there’s a point where that becomes way too much, but my experiences in the workplace are that there are a lot more people who would like some social time then there are people who find the idea horrifying.
(Also, they seem to find a heck of a lot of things “horrifying.” I feel like I should have a drinking game for that word over there sometimes.)
Polyamorous introverts ???
Sigh. Yes. Just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you don’t want sex with multiple people. ;-)
This is exactly it. It’s social anxiety to the extreme. I wade in there before Alison has helpful information, but man are there some truly nutty, regular commenters over there.
No there are a lot of people who are extremely rigid and rules focused who don’t seem to understand how to work with people at all.
wow! That is an interesting assessment. It does seem like folks that have difficulty working with others….
Yeah, and their rules are weird and inflexible and based on “well, this is the way it has to be for everyone in every situation globally because my vision is 10 percent below par in my left eye and accommodating that at all times even in workplaces where I am not present is clearly the only appropriate way to do business or you’re all mean and bound to fail but don’t blame me because I told you so and I’m angry because it’s unfair to me if you don’t all listen.”
Hahaha. Yes, I feel this way every time I venture into the comments there.
Perfect assessment! I regularly read the Weekend Open Thread over there because I just can’t believe the comments!
AAM comment gallery tends to be a definitely more introverted (IRL) bunch with *opinions* that they are happy extrapolate for everyone… getting context wrong a lot. Like they can’t imagine that some people actually be cordial and friendly to coworkers or that a little small talk about kids/weather/sports/tv shows is perfectly fine in most offices and that’s how you grease the social wheels!
Funny, I get something of the opposite vibe – that if you’re not accommodating of everyone else’s little (or huge, work-obstructive, ginormous) quirks that you’re a horrible boss/coworker.
That’s true, but it only applies to *them* and not their coworkers/other people. Maybe I’m mean, but from reading AAM comments I get the “special snowflake” vibe from the commenters themselves, not so much the actual letter writers.
Well, this site has become increasingly nasty lately, so maybe it just seems nice over there by comparison. I think Alison’s response is fine as you can’t know and shouldn’t care to know personal details about your employees home lives. The employees performance is either good or it isn’t, and it’s up to her to manage her childcare to the companies satisfaction (but the company doesn’t need to specify what she does, just that she needs to be baby-free for critical meetings or whatever).
IDK if people are giving hubby the benefit of the doubt as much as giving the woman the benefit of the doubt that she’s doing the best she can. Also … why don’t your friends just manage their husbands better (if that’s the expectation you have for the worker)? Maybe the worker is going to divorce her husband (because he refuses to adapt) and find a better one … but that’s probably not going to free her up for the next meeting.
Yeah kinda but also in the context of that latter the answer is very clearly than manager needs to address work issues not the marriage.
I totally agree with Alison’s advice, I just saw so many comments about not knowing the situation with the husband, etc. It’s just a totally different vibe than what I would see here.
I mean, we had a thread here the other day where the husband and wife had worked out a he works/she works schedule, swapping off parenting duties, and the husband was not reliable about honoring her work time and left her with the kids to go get mulch (!) and everyone here was focused on how she should help him deal with his ADHD rather than my vote, calling his cell and telling him to get the f home.
We can as a group be really enabling of men’s learned helplessness around here. It’s a bad strategy in the long run – that way lies silent stewing, resentment, and likely divorce. Stand up for yourselves, ladies!
Yes but if a commenter posts that her husband told her to “get the f home” people would say that’s abuse and she should divorce him.
I think it’s possible to be in favor of standing up for yourself as a woman while still thinking the manager should stay out of her employee’s personal life.
Agreed – and I think the AAM letter-writer actually understood that and was trying to figure out how to navigate the aftermath of having overstepped. I don’t blame the AAM commenters for going off on tangents (bc hey, that’s what comment sections are for!) but the commenters went really heavily into analyzing the couple’s relationship rather than focusing on the (IMO, more interesting) question of how a manager navigates situations where she has Opinions about an employee’s personal life but knows she needs to focus on the work piece.
I read both Ask a Manager and this page regularly, and find both a bit exotic (as not US-based) and interesting on many levels, not least for the casual bits about daily politics and changes in society.
I genuinely enjoy Allison’s answers on Ask a Manager, at Corporette I’ve stayed for the commentaries only. I enjoy the commentaries at AAM too, but the genre is very different from here, IMO. There is a lot of aggressively given benefits of the doubt, but some stems from the “take the letter writers on their word” rule. But there are a few truly anti-feminist jerks (IMO) that enjoy stirring things up. Generally a fairly open and accepting mood, though. And it’s refreshing to see people taking small questions seriously as well without just saying “get a therapist” or huffing.
On this page, it seems very different, in that the work part of comments are more… entitled (?) and seemingly from positions of more power in one’s own work situation. (Here it’s: what should I buy my assistants for administrator’s day? – at AAM it’s let stop doing this gender based reactionary nonsense and pay people properly instead.)
I get so many great tips here, and I love lurking around (that’s the result of a different timezone). But I think that recently people’s motives and perspectives have been very harshly questioned here, or mocked seemingly for fun. The last half year or so, there’s also been a lot more contempt, and short posts that are basically internet sighs and eye rolls (“get over yourself”).
But mostly it just feels like clever people being constructive and helpful, and that’s why I stay. My favourite tip during the WFH times, has been yoga with Adriene – thank you to the person who recommended that!
Ray of Sunshine
Happy Friday y’all, whatever that means in today’s world. As a reminder that there are still good things, what’s making you smile/laugh/happy today?
Top of my list:
1. My baby has started blowing kisses all the time and it melts my heart each time I get blown a kiss.
2. Rereading some of my favorite books from childhood, it’s like re-connecting with an old friend.
3. Too Hot To Handle on Netflix is such a hot mess and I look forward to seeing how the sh*tshow finishes tonight.
For all the exhaustion, headache, and loss of patience, I keep smiling thinking about how I will never spend this much time with my kids again (sometimes ironically happy knowing this will/should never happen again). I get to see them so much, and they annoy the sh*t out of me and each other, sure… but dang it if I don’t love just being able to walk into the next room and see them all day long.
…. And same for seeing my husband? Ha!
Hahahahaha. Same, girl, same!
Today in “homeschool” my mom, who has been coming over in the mornings and watching my 2/4/6 year olds and doing “school” has the day off. The kids have declared it Dad Day since DH took the day off to sub in for Grandma. They are dressing like Dad,* carrying around a briefcase (purse), cell phones (one is a plastic phone, the other two have lipgloss cell phones they are using), coffee mugs, and my toddler just grabbed a beer bottle from the recycling and declared it “daddy cup.” My oldest just yelled “STOP IT ALL OF YOU WITH THE NOISE I CANNOT THINK!” My middle is looking for a tape measure so she can “do some more dad jobs.”
That is absolutely delightful. Thank you for sharing :)
THIS IS HILARIOUS. Thank you for this glimpse. I have a huge smile on my face.
Hahahahahahah @ stop it all of you with all the noise! This made me laugh out loud :)
This is amazing! You should definitely write this down / take a screenshot/ take pictures and save it for the future!
I love this!
OP here again. Forgot to describe the outfits. After much debate they are wearing button down plaid shirts and jeans. They were debating that vs pajamas since that’s what Dad wears all the time now. However my darlings pointed out that if they wore pajamas, nobody would know if they are dressing like Mom or dressing like Dad. :)
Hilarious!
This is just precious!
That is the cutest, sweetest thing I’ve read in a very long time. Thank you!
This is delightful, thank you for sharing!!
I’m pregnant with our second, and our 2.5 year old has been giving baby brother (my belly) kisses – totally unprompted. She’s also started saying “I love you, Mommy” unprompted, which melts my heart.
1. This shutdown has dramatically reduced carbon emissions and air pollution to once-in-a-lifetime levels – but also inspired me to think of what COULD be done about climate change.
2. My husband has been an amazing partner through all of this.
3. I had a big professional win this week that completely changes my enthusiasm for my job. Now I don’t mind that our plans to move are on hold.
Bonus: I spent time planning backpacking trips without dates. I always struggle to find the time to plan the logistics in regular summers, meaning I don’t go as much as I wan to, but now is the perfect time for it.
My son has taken to carrying his baby doll around in a sling, and he looks like such a hipster dad. He’s so, so loving and sensitive.
Our local organic food shop thought they were done for when the crisis began, instead business is booming. We’re really shifted our spending to small shops and I don’t think we’ll ever go back.
My garden is thriving! The weather has been gorgeous and we’ve had the time to think through what makes sense and what would be sustainable.
I got myself a New Yorker subscription and am enjoying reading print again after a decade long break.
Our neighbours are all saying cheery hellos. My neighbourhood can be….rough…and it’s nice to see people connecting and looking after one another.
I have always been grateful that we can’t post memes or photos here, but I wish I could see Cb’s hipster dad son!
It is so stinking cute. He drinks his milk out of espresso cups, so all he needed was his beanie.
Have sen photo and can confirm how cute he is. I’ll have to ask my mum if there are photos of my younger brother at that same age pushing a a doll around in a toy pushchair.
Would you be interested in my stack of Atlantic magazines when I’ve read my way through them?
Seen. I cannot type, goshdarnit.
OMG that’s amazing. I know that cute clothes babies are kind of a waste of money … but did you know they make Doc Martens for toddlers? How can I possibly call myself Cool Aunt if I don’t buy those?
Wait, are the the three of you friends/sisters is real life? How did I not know this before!
I’m not IRL friends or sisters with anyone here . . . that I know of.
Omg – agree about too hot to handle! Started watching on a whim and now I am hooked lol! I have 2 episodes left! Have to admit I already googled them to find out who is still together (sort of a surprise!)
I don’t even know what that is but now I feel like I have to find it and watch it.
It’s on Netflix. So is Love is Blind … and a season of Married at First Sight.
I am a broken record about this, but this unexpected time with my college kids at home is just wonderful. I feel like I should be getting more reading done with all this time at home (and I miss it), but the reason I am not is that I am playing board games and watching bad reality TV with the kids every night, and that’s OK!
Omg I love too hot to handle. It is such trash. It’s a trashier version of bachelor in paradise. I resisted watching it because, well obviously it’s terrible. The sarcastic comments are the funniest part.
If you are looking for similarly trashy shows, highly highly recommend Temptation Island! And yes, I love the narrator, she’s hilarious.
Too Hot to Handle is basically a truncated and much sleazier version of Love Island (UK) — but Love Island is an INVESTMENT. It’s startling slow-paced for a reality show. There are like 50 episodes a season. I think the seasons are available on Hulu. So awesome, and they really dig into the drama.
Seeing my three-year-old son’s imaginative play expand over the past 40 days at home has been incredible. He’s been world-building and creating elaborate storylines for his toys. I’ve been saving our delivery boxes for him and they’ve become a garage, an airport, towers, etc. That’s been a very bright light during this time.
I’m really enjoying the time with my 4 yr old son. He’s starting to read and write letters and short words, and it’s amazing.
We’ve given him a bike for Easter, and with daily practice around our neighborhood without training wheels he can now ride a whole block by himself, stops without falling. Pre-Covid-19. we would have never had so much time to spend outside during the week.
On the downside, I have to become a runner now, since he is fast! (I hate running.)
Finished Little Fires Everywhere last night and enjoyed it. I also enjoyed Unorthodox. Am currently starting on the Handmaid’s Tale. The one (!) bright side of this pandemic is that I’ve started to realize how many good, high quality shows there are. I’ve always sort of felt watching is inferior to reading, but now I’m watching.
I also finished Little Fires on hulu and the entire time, i was like, will it get better? what is the point? these are all TERRIBLE CHOICES. but then that last episode was rather amazing. the actors who played the children are the stars of that! I
I really liked Unorthodox. Sometimes the supporting characters felt one-dimensional, but Shira Hass, who played the main character, was absolutely captivating.
I recreated Swedish yellow pea soup mostly from memory and it was just as delightfully porky and peppery as I remember growing up! And my husband, normally a legume grinch, wolfed it down.
legume grinch, ha! Thanks for this.
I’ve been the breadwinner and a high achiever all my life. The pandemic coincided with by my own layoff, which I knew was coming (related more to the financial condition of my former employer than the pandemic.) I’ve started my own business.
I’ve always been terrified of being laid off. I’ve always been terrified of being self employed. But now I am both, my little business is growing slowly but surely, and I finally have time to think. I don’t work for The Man and I’m having a ball!
1. Even though all my hearings and trial or canceled, it seems like I actually have a decent amount of work to do for the next month! Nice to not be worried about getting laid off just yet.
2. My husband has been great as a life partner and parent. I’m so thankful for him. He also owns a business and I’ve really appreciated watching just how much he and his business partner are protecting their employees’ health and paychecks. My firm has sucked, so it’s been nice to see a business do the right thing.
3. I love spending this much time with my kids! They are so sweet and cute.
4. I had a remote IEP meeting with my eldest’s educational team. She really improved this past year. They also seemed fairly confident that school will be back in session next year.
Just got news that my uni is slowly moving back offline early May. (I’ve been taking grad school courses at night. Remote instruction helped with the commute, but I really miss the campus.)
Also, thankful for less than 10 new (local) cases of COVID daily in Korea – for a week straight. Elementary and secondary schools have mostly secured masks for students so they can gradually move offline. My swimminng pool is reopening next week as well. Hope the trend holds.
We had an online wine dinner last night with our friends (food and wine provided by a local restaurant, and the winemaker was on the Zoom conference) that was unexpectedly fantastic on every level.
Hubby and I are getting along like a house afire despite all the togetherness, which was to be expected but still nice to have confirmed.
We binged this amazing show on HBO: Beforeigners, about time-travel migrants in Norway, with a detective story and Vikings and Lord knows what-all, it was crazy and fun and I really wish there were more than six episodes. Highly recommend!
I attended (former poster here) Susedna’s 15th anniversary party last night via Webex. She lives in NJ and I live in NOLA and, even though we have visited each other, I have never been able to attend one of her parties. It was absolutely delightful and wonderful to see them on the screen! I even dressed up for the party. Also got to see Ru, another former poster here, who also attended the party. It was great!
1. I got up early enough to drive to Starbucks this morning and got both dogs puppaccinos.
2. My former intern interviewed for a position with our team and did very well.
3. It’s sunny today. Not warm, per se, but it’s not overcast or raining.
I need to know about the puppaccinos!
Whip cream in a cup. Dogs looooove whip cream. Pure joy.
Cats too. Found that out by accident.
Yes, whip cream in a cup. It’s free. My dog is very familiar with the process and starts flipping out the second we get near a Starbucks window or walk into the Starbucks near our house. My parents’ dog has only had them twice (both with me) but figured it out pretty fast. Great photo opportunity. Whip cream on their noses!
My manager asked us to send him recipes, ideally child-enchanting. I thought back to my childhood in Illinois and wanted to propose a happy (although not really healthy, but so what) menu.
Pigs in a blanket
Fruit suspended in jello
Noodle casserole of some kind (tuna with crushed potato chips on top?)
What other dishes? Thank you!
spaghetti with meatballs (easy homemade baked meatballs)
mac and cheese
vegetables cut into shapes with fun dip
brownies or layer cake or chocolate pudding
We did a “dip night” with my kids last year and they still talk about it. They were all in K or under at the time. We had like 5-6 “sauces” (hummus, marinara, tabouleh, salsa, blue cheese dressing) and tons of stuff to dip (cheese, meatballas, falafel,pitas, crunchy veggies). I let them use toothpicks. You would have thought I was mother of the year.
For dessert we dipped apple slices into caramel.
For regular kid-appealing stuff, we do mini burgers (sliders) with fries, make your own pizza night (buy the dough or even easier, buy roll out pizza crust or use premade Naan), make your own tacos. My preschooler and toddler love chili, and even better if they can dip chips into it.
I love dip night idea!
On the jello theme, my grandmother and apparently my husband’s aunt (we are from opposite sides of the US) used to make that jello/cool whip fruit salad frozen thing. Gosh I loved that when I was a kid.
I think it was just jello, cool whip, and fruit cocktail all mixed together and then frozen to set.
My grandma used to make ‘milk jelly’ which was strawberry or raspberry jelly (Jell-O, not jam) made up with hot milk instead of water. Almost like a pudding or a Blancmange I guess? Anyway I have ordered some vegetarian jelly crystals and I’m going to try it soon!
Omg I loved that as a kid – our was pistachio salad – lime jello, cool whip, canned pineapple chunks, and maybe grapes? I think walnuts were usually subbed in for pistachios (too pricey and hard to find in the midwest back then). It was uber fancy to kid-me.
Ha fruit suspended in jello brings back memories of my early childhood in Michigan. I remember going to friends’ houses and being served fruit in jello and I was amazed by this. My family is East Asian so we never had it at home.
I bought Knox gelatin so I can make Knox Blocks – for myself! I guess I am in a culinary regression.
1. Open up the can of Spaghetti-O’s. 2. Heat it.
Goulash (not real goulash, American goulash)
Kraft mac n cheese with cut up hot dogs
Manwiches
Spaghetti and frozen meatballs
OMG the Serious Eats American Goulash recipe is sooooo good. (Also titled as “American chop suey”) Macaroni, ground beef, tomatoes, cheese…mmm…
(The Hungarian style goulash is also amazing if you’re feeling more beef + paprika + potatoes)
I did not know that’s what that was called! My grandma made that, and cincinatti chili (over spaghetti) regularly which I adored then (and cannot quite make myself eat today – so sweet!).
It’s basically homemade hamburger helper and is a huge comfort food for me to this day. I make all kinds of fancy food because I love to cook, but when I’ve had one of those days, a big bowl of cheesy, meaty, tomatoey elbow macaroni is all I really want. I use my mom’s recipe but you can find tons of recipes online.
My kids equally love it. Hopefully some day they’ll think of it, alongside my risotto and roast chicken, as one of those great things mom used to make.
OH also on the jello theme – traffic light jelly! You make green, orange, and red jellies and set each one in cups in turn so that it looks like traffic lights!
An Australian contribution but one I live – fairy bread. Wonder bread, spread with margarine, and covered in sprinkles. Incredible.
Again with the typing. One I love!
English muffin pizza or homemade pizza from store bough crust that the kids can assemble themselves.
You can also do this on pittas if you have any in the back of the freezer!
Fish sticks, rice-a-roni, shelley beans from the can. I know it’s kind of horrifying but I loved it.
Speaking of horrifying, my husband and I often say we should have a potluck where everybody brings a beloved dish from childhood. But then we say we’re pretty sure everybody would only eat the dish they brought themselves because… horrifying. (I’d bring tuna casserole with canned chow mein noodles and water chestnuts.)
SA, your family and mine clearly had the same tuna casserole recipe. Now I want tuna casserole and 5 cup salad for dinner.
I keep threatening to make it for my husband and he keeps being… horrified! Ha!
Make your own Mac & Cheese bar? Make pasta with various cheese and topping options that the children can choose from, then bake in the oven.
When I worked at a university and we threw staff potlucks to feed the student employees, little smoked sausages in grape jelly was by far the favorite item, they would beg my colleague to be sure and bring them. Recipe was similar to this:
2 (1-pound) packages mini smoked sausages (like the Little Smokies brand; or wieners)
1 (12-ounce) bottle chili sauce
1 cup grape jelly
Crock pot for 4-6 hours
I ate them, they were delicious (not a native Midwesterner)
I have never, ever met a child who would eat a casserole, especially one containing tuna.
Children born in the 1950s ate casseroles or starved!
My son was born in 2000 and ate (and still eats) lots of casserole, and loves casseroles.
That’s crazy talk. I was raised in the 70s/80s and I believe my body composition was about 70% casserole by adulthood.
And also? What is mac n cheese, if not a casserole?
Family Favorite of ours and kid=friendly. 5 Cup Salad.
Cup of canned mandarin oranges, drained
Cup of canned pineapple chunks, drained
Cup of shredded coconut
Cup of mini marshmallows
Cup of sour cream
If you want to get extra fancy add a cup of maraschino cherries and make it a 6 cup salad.
So good and so unhealthy
This is amazing. My family would’ve done Miracle Whip in lieu of whipped cream, alas.
Anyone see the headlines about Gap, Inc and affiliated brands? Does that mean it would be inadvisable to order anything from them today for fear of them filing BK and not fulfilling orders?
I had an Athleta cart and Baby Gap cart full and was about to pull the trigger on…
I have an Old Navy order coming, ordered last weekend, but not yet shipped. I assume they will continue to fill orders, but maybe I’m delusional.
I ordered stuff from Old Navy a couple of weeks ago and one item shipped. I got an email saying they are very delayed and it could take another few weeks to get the other items. Debating just canceling the order.
Go online and provide ‘feedback’ – apparently they follow that. I had an order that finally shipped in the 3rd week after I did that. Log into your account and it’s at the bottom of the page.
They will likely continue to fill orders, but don’t count on good service if you have returns, so just order things you know you will be keeping.
Welp, guess I’ll have to find someone to wear the pair of pants that doesn’t work.
I placed a Gap order yesterday. So many nice cotton-linen blends for summer!
I assume, but have not checked, that my credit card company would make it right if Gap charges me without fulfilling the order. I went with items I have a low probability of having to return.
I have an order from Old Navy that was placed at the beginning of April that hasn’t shipped yet and I haven’t been charged yet. I would assume that Gap follows the same line since it’s the same company.
nooooooo! They are my favorite store b/c they sell petites and talls (I am short; kids are not).
I imagine that they are saying what is true for many if not most mall-based retailers. N-M sends me e-mails every day and they were broke before this.
I love their jeans, and I recently bought some really cute dresses and cardigans from them and now I have “super cash” that I was thinking of using, now I’m not so sure. I guess I don’t really need a lot of going out clothes right now anyway, but comfy dresses will be clutch when it’s too hot for yoga pants.
The headlines about Gap yesterday were about them pricing a $2.25 bn bond issuance to shore up liquidity, not about a bankruptcy. I don’t think that bankruptcy is a significant risk for the week or so it would take them to ship your order. Also, think about it – bankruptcy doesn’t mean the stores shut down immediately; plenty of companies are in bankruptcy and continue to operate and provide services (and Gap would likely be a financial restructuring, not a liquidating bankruptcy).
Right they are broke with $750,000,000 in cash. Not like actually broke.
+1
Agree with this
:( Most of my wardrobe is Old Navy/Gap/BR/Athleta. Though I do seem to only buy activewear or underwear/pajamas from Gap and not much clothing from them. Seems like the most likely scenario is that they’ll shutter Gap stores/brand but keep the others? I have a hard time seeing how they’d ditch ON or Athleta. I think your purchase will be fulfilled as they likely want to get rid of any in-stock merchandise.
They were apparently trying to spin off ON into its own company in January, but that died for some reason. Agreed it doesn’t make sense to shutter Athleta.
I would expect that fulfillment of online orders is done separately from the in-store business. Sure, if the whole company goes under, that’s a different question, but the headlines today specifically talk about rental cost for retail shops.
I received an Athleta order earlier this week. There are a couple of things that were listed as backordered but I am still optimistic.
I ordered a few weeks ago and just got the “very delayed” notice this AM for that order.
I ordered three days ago as well, and got early shipping notices for all of those items.
Crappppppp. Most of my wardrobe is Gap or Old Navy and I’ve finally found jeans that fit from both.
Old Navy makes a nice, ponte blazer that comes in petite, regular and plus size if you’re looking for one.
Hive, I need help. I work on a team of three, and I am the only one with children (a 6 month old). My other two colleagues are spending all of their quarantine time doing work, while I’m just trying to keep my head above water. My boss is a childfree by choice woman and has been very sympathetic, but at the same time, I don’t really think she grasps the difficulty of the situation. I’m worried this will come back to bite me in the @ss at the end of the year review time, but at the same time I have very little capacity to put in more effort than I currently am. What should I do?
I can relate – I am the only lawyer in my in-house group with young kids (a couple others have adult children and my boss is single). We have regular check in calls where everyone has to report on what they are working on and I definitely feel like others are doing more. I have accepted the fact that I won’t be at the top come review time and my annual bonus will reflect that. In my case, I have been with the company long enough that hopefully my good will and efforts in previous years will help and I won’t get totally slammed in my review. Hang in there!
Your best. If she is showing you sympathy, believe her. I supervise three attorneys. Only one has small kids. I have kids, but old enough that they don’t require hands-on care during the day. I am very aware that the team member with little kids is struggling mightily and doing her best, and I will never hold it against her. If your boss is a decent person, I would trust that she feels the same. If you feel you need to be more explicit with her, such as you can only do conference calls during particular hours, just say so, so that she can work with you to help you be as productive as possible during those hours.
I hope, in this weird anonymous internet wormhole, that you are actually my IRL boss.
+1 – also the boss without kids and I completely agree with this
You can only do what you can do, if that makes sense. My suggestion is to make sure you and your manager agree on your priorities, and you focus on those things first. It still may be too much, but it is just so important to ensure that you are delivering as much of the important stuff as you can. Secondly, you can ask your coworkers for help. If you manage this the right way with your boss, you are responsible for getting stuff done. If, right now, you get that stuff done through other people, you’ve still gotten it done. It’s tricky, but I would try to peel off some discreet work that then comes back to you to finish or aggregate.
Your boss may not grasp how difficult it is, or she may. Everyone has their own challenges right now. My suggestion is to not ever refer to if other people have children or not, but only to your own challenges in a professional way. A key thing I learned too late in my career is that management expects there will be problems both with work and personally. How you handle the problems is what they will look at.
I’ve been thinking about this from a more general perspective. It’s good that decent managers are accommodating parents who are less productive at this time, and reprioritize work and shift assignments. But some work still needs to get done and it will necessarily mean that people who don’t have to care for others pull more of the weight. If they objectively did more work, shouldn’t they be rewarded for that during reviews? But that’s so unfair to parents!
One silver lining I see is that a lot of editors to scientific journals are reporting a huge uptick in articles submitted, but the increase is exclusively due to submissions from male authors. I’m thinking that if this bears out with real statistics across scientific publishing, it would be hard evidence that providing/subsidizing childcare for workers would be a strong contribution to gender equity.
Yes. This whole situation is going to really set back working mothers and deepen the gender gap
I’m the only childless member of my immediate team. I don’t want any extra hours or flexibility I give to be repaid in cash, but rather in kind (and in kindness, I suppose). In my team, that looks like: more lenience to me not wanting to take PTO to sit in my apartment by myself, with the understanding that I will take more PTO towards the tail end of the year and into 2021. It also looks like the team indulging me in my request for a short face to face videoconference chat each day (we see each others’ faces for 15 minutes each morning.
Same. I am the only team member without kids on my team. I’m glad to be picking up slack now (frankly very happy for the distraction of work), and am just hopeful that this is remembered when I want to take time at the end of the year for holidays or a long weekend, etc.
i’m not keeping score, is the point. I want my coworkers with little kids to have what they need, and to be with us as we weather it. I don’t want anyone to be penalized for having to care for their kids. I don’t want a badge of honor for not having to care for kids.
But I also want some recognition that I’m sometimes having a small panic attack/depression sob in my apartment alone and that’s affecting productivity a little right now, too.
On the scientific journals – ugh – this reminds me of the study that found poorly designed tenure clock extensions mainly benefited men. (Summary here: https://www.chronicle.com/article/Is-It-Time-to-Stop-Stopping/237391) And do you have that data point handy? I work on diversity and inclusion issues in STEM. Thank you in advance!
so far it’s just been scientists who are editors saying it on twitter, and then others responding that they see the same trends on their editor’s desk. So it’s completely anecdata right now, but might be a real dataset down the road.
See this: https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2020/04/21/early-journal-submission-data-suggest-covid-19-tanking-womens-research-productivity
Things are not much better on the otherside of the coin. My boss is actively resentful of my child free status and the amount of work I’m getting done. Looks like it might damage our relationship long term but I don’t know a solution. Stop asking for work? Don’t do anything? I’m getting paid so I’m going to do work.
I’m not a manager, but I am a senior colleague, so take my comments with a grain of salt. We’re childfree by choice, no kids, no pets, no plants, just two responsible adults in my household. I’m 100% cutting everyone some slack, especially people with young kids. You’re right that I don’t really get how tough it is, but I’m happy to move/cancel meetings, push deadlines out where I can, ask someone else who has more bandwidth, etc. And if your kid decides they need to join the conference call? Fine, let ’em on. You need to feed them and just listen? Go off video, mute, do what you need to do. You need me to give you the 15-minute version vs. joining for the full hour? Happy to, grab time on my calendar when you’re free. I am honestly not mad about my colleagues’ “slacking”, they didn’t choose this for their kids. If they were smart and capable before this, they’re still smart and capable. Yes, there’s some terrible teams and bosses out there, but if your manager is telling you to do what you can, please try to believe them.
We interviewed someone the other day who has an 18 month old and she was really concerned that it would be a problem to start without “reliable” child care. We had just finished a staff meeting before the interview whose attendees were me, my supervisor, my colleague, and his one year old son who needed a nap. No one has perfect childcare right now, we just roll with it best we can. My colleague wasn’t online for 90% of yesterday because his wife had back to back meetings that she had to be at and he had nothing pressing to do.
I’m in the opposite position. My manager has 1 small child, and manages 4 childless people. It has been a chaotic unclear mess since all this started. We are all trying our best to keep making progress on projects, but after chatting with colleagues about shared tasks, I’ve picked up everyone on the team needs more guidance*.
It’s a tough time and a lot of things have been re-prioritized. I know my boss is struggling, and I assume he is trying his best. I’m doing my best to push and keep things on track while giving him grace to deal with crazy scheduling times. I think what is most beneficial for people on both sides of this equation is to clearly communicate expectations and priorities given everyone’s unusual schedules and working conditions.
This has unfortunately widened the gap between people with young children and those without. Likely disproportionately impacting women…
*this makes it sound like we are all talking smack about our boss, but I promise that is not the case. It is more that multiple people have mentioned to me “oh I hope we have team meeting next week to get on the same page” or “do you know when we are starting on this phase” Just general confusion about priorities and timing.
I know this is not possible and that it would tank the economy even more and many jobs are just plain essential but I wish the whole world could just shut down for a month so we would all be on an equal playing field when we reopen.
Same!
While I appreciate the sentiment, there’s no equal playing field in “real life” either, so it’s hard to imagine there could ever be one now.
Anybody have a good classic coleslaw recipe? I know what I like is not necessarily a…crowd pleaser….but some of the internet recipes sound equally weird.
I always go to kitchn for classic recipes.
Not a classic, but Kenji’s Coleslaw at serious eats. com is divine!! Yes, using a huge amount of salt and rinsing it off later on sounds weird, but there’s science behind the method and I have pleased crowds with it on multiple occasions!
Like 2 parts mayo (1/4 cup?) 1 part milk, tsp sugar, tsp lemon juice, and salt & pepper to taste works for me for the dressing for a mixing bowl of chopped cabbage.
Serious Eats has great basic recipes.
My basic is to grate cabbage — plain, ol’ green cabbage — with a box grater and some carrots (though I’ve left out the carrots if I didn’t have them or didn’t feel like messing with them.) For the dressing, I use mayo, vinegar, sugar, salt and pepper and just experiment until I get the right taste. You want the dressing to be thin, but not too, too thin. Start with the mayo and add a little vinegar and sugar, S&P at a time until you get it to what you like.
This is about as basic as you can get. Sorry I don’t have exact amounts. Everyone’s tastes are different. I like my mayo dressing a little tangier, so I’ll go with more vinegar. Some people prefer a little sweeter and go with more sugar. Some prefer a creamier dressing and add more mayo, but that will give your dressing a more mayonnaise-y taste. You can’t get any more basic than this recipe.
Check out Samin Nosrat’s bright cabbage slaw. If you have SFAH, there’s a few variations on the recipe to go in different flavor directions- mexican, chinese, amerian south, etc etc
I buy the bag of coleslaw veggies (finely shredded cabbage and carrots) and make the recipe on the back label. If you use good mayo (Best Foods/Hellman’s, don’t @ me with your Duke’s) and apple cider vinegar, it will be very good.
I just buy the pre-shredded coleslaw mix. A good basic recipe is 2 parts red wine vinegar to 1 part mayo (for 1 bag of coleslaw mix this is about 1/2 c vinegar to 1/4 cup mayo), plus 1-1.5 tsp celery seed (this is the typical coleslaw flavor you’re probably looking for), 1 tsp sugar, as much fresh grated black pepper as you like, and 2 tsp salt. I play around with the salt/sugar but that’s a pretty decent starting point. Also – whisking this all together with a proper whisk vs/ a fork really does make a difference.
I use 1 cup Best Foods/Hellmans, 1/4 cup sugar (that’s half what the original recipe called for), 2 tablespoons cider or white vinegar. Salt and pepper if you want. Use shredded cabbage and add shredded carrots and or broccoli stalks for additional crunch.
King sized sheets question. Does anyone make a flat sheet that is longer (measuring from headboard to footboard)? DH likes the sheet to double as a sleeping scarf and has so much sheet around his head that it’s pulled out at the bottom, meaning the entire bed comes apart at night. If the sheet had an additional 6 inches, this wouldn’t be a problem. Option 2 is going to be taking a sheet to a tailor and having more fabric sewn on. But we need new sheets anyway soon.
I would consider buying a king size fitted sheet and a california king flat sheet.
+1 and look for the sheets meant for deep mattresses. They give you a few more inches.
But maybe you just need to buy your husband a headscarf.
+1, california kings are longer than standard kings.
Why not give him an old twin flat sheet as an additional wrap?
Thank you for this post. I also sleep with the sheet folded over and then pull the fold up to my ears (nightmare monsters go for the neck, y’know) and I never thought to just buy bigger sheets.
I’ve had success with buying sheets for deep mattresses. I like to do the same thing w the top sheet. Got my most recent sheet set from Target.
Does anyone have any books or other resources to recommend for learning to interact with those of “upper class” status if you were raised solidly blue collar? Feeling like there are unspoken rules I don’t understand.
It is a parody, but the Preppy Handbook (and it’s decades-later follow-on, True Prep) are funny and spot-on. I live next door to Chip and Pepper and their kids (but they are away at Woodberry Forest) and they have homes elsewhere for golf and at the beach. My family is solidly trailers and, at times, outhouses (we have indoor plumbing in the kitchen, but not everywhere).
Your outhouse must really bum Pepper out!
It’s not my outhouse, just my people’s outhouses :) I think our city codes prohibit them.
But we have to keep reminding people not to shoot at cans in the backyard. Kidding. It is funny how trendy it is to keep chickens in cities now — it is green so it is OK but if it is done by WalMart shoppers a few counties over it is trashy AF.
Or how clothelines are trashy to my husband (few up in suburban CT) but oh-so-green nowadays. And don’t get me started on drinking out of jars – my parents are horrified at the idea and my grandmother would get made when they tried to throw out a perfectly good “jelly glass.”
Brooks brothers also sells (or did when I was able to go into the stores last) mens/womens/kids etiquette guides – from what I recall of flipping through them, they were pretty normal solid pieces of advice.
I’d be very cautious to paint all upper class people as the same. There are huge differences between new money and old money, then there’s just your general run of the mill yuppie. I think you need to identify the subcategory of wealthy folk you’re targeting to understand.
Lilac – that is a good point. I work in banking and deal with people from all classes but run of the mill yuppie is who I pinpoint as the most common type. Old money is not as often.
The Yuppie is what I’d call “mass affluent”. Like shops at Nordstroms. Vacations abroad. It is different if their grandparents did that (or if their parents did that), too.
My $ is a couple of minutes old. I expect my kids not to do as well as me (like if I sent them to private school, they wouldn’t hustle b/c no one hustles; I send them to a public school b/c I want them to be legit worried about being poor or not having enough $ as adults). B/c not having enough $ is awful and the kids/parents at [My City] Country Day have no reference for neighborhoods without good Thai delivery, much less that there are neighborhoods in my city too dangerous for there to be any business there that delivers.
Personally I’m in a weird grey zone where my family is very much old money and as a result I act in a lot of the same ways they do (1 high quality mended sweater versus 5 j crew sweaters, I actually own zero j crew). But the way my trust is set up I don’t get a dime until my grandparents die so I paid for my education and home all by my self. My success is self made in the respect that I did not use family money or connections at all. Though I’m sure knowing how to act in interviews etc helped immensely.
+1 – True old money behaviors are different by region (new england vs. southern vs. british vs. continental old money) and have ‘tells’ that you’ll likely not get. I cannot tell a posh British public school accent from a normal British one or an ‘educated in Swiss/French boarding schools generic European accent’ from a soft Dutch/Swiss accent but my European co-workers can in a sentence. Though NE old money behaviors are pretty darn similar to English ones, because guess who they’re trying to emulate? Look at the Kennedy’s for example – significant time in London/spoke French/focus on art for the women/golf/tennis/riding, etc.
Outhouse poster.
+ 1M for art for the women. I cannot tell you how many women I know who are artists now, to the point of renting studio space. One is a sculptor. One has a gallery. I think it’s such a thing (but it looks really fun; if I didn’t have to work, I’d learn how to make old-school maps, like with “there be dragons” and sea serpents). Nah — I’d shoot at cans on the back 40 and then burn my trash in a metal barrel. I have no idea really; I monetized my time as soon as I was able to. Like my whole family has never been still except to sleep. Even the retired guys had lathes and were always making things and still farming.
There was a great thread on here a few years ago about how to be “old money.” If you search for the phrase in quotes, I think it will come up.
I remember that, too. Things like –
-people talk way less about money. There is no focus on payday whatsoever.
-If you’re transitioning from being an hourly employee, managing your in office face time, breaks, etc yourself (as opposed to showing up on your exact schedule and clocking out for lunch) is new territory.
-Don’t try to ‘pass’ as old money because it will be unsuccessful and you will look ridiculous. Pretending you are a regular golfer will not work out for you once there is a golf outing and you’ve never played before – instead admit you are new to the sport and appreciate all guidance. Etc.
Can someone explain why this went to mod?
I think the “don’t try to pass” thing is important. I posted below about DH. He makes jokes about the first time he went to a fancy restaurant and had no idea how to use all the utensils, so he looked around to see what other people did. But he jokes about it; he doesn’t try to pretend it didn’t happen. Just like I joke about the fact that I’d never mixed a bag on concrete until I helped his family build a backyard fence. We each come to the relationship with very different experiences and backgrounds. Acknowledge those and be open to learning a different way.
Not discussing money in the payday/paying bills thing is also a difference. The biggest tell to me is grammer and speech patterns. Learn the difference between I and me and when to use each. People from my white collar world don’t say “me and Joe went to the grocery store,” but people from blue collar backgrounds do. Likewise, using is and are correctly. Not “there’s four apples,” but “there are four apples.”
Actually, I disagree to some extent. I’ve found that truly old money people don’t fret about “there’s four apples” and they also don’t try to use big words to impress people. They’re not sticklers and won’t embarrass others about it either. However, I agree they’ll use “I” versus “me” correctly and they also tend to have good knowledge of Latin or French phrases that they can sprinkle into a conversation (like telling a funny story about a friend’s mishap and using the phrase “in flagrante delicto”). Overall, it’s like there’s a confidence that you know what you’re talking about and therefore don’t have to take yourself too seriously.
Hmmm I think “passing” can mean different things. My parents are both high school drop outs so I did not at all come from money but I think I’ve picked up enough of the culture to pass pretty successfully in my fairly snooty biglaw firm. I do think pretending like you’re a regular golfer when you’re not is silly, don’t do that. But you can also just wait and copy people’s actions in a lot of settings and fake it til you make it to figure out a lot of it.
Hey, if you’re out, you’re out. I don’t think there’s a guidebook for blue collar folks to learn how to interact with those of “upper class’ status. That is just a hilarious thought…..
Anon at 11:16, care to elaborate?
I would absolutely disagree with this. My husband is from a blue collar world (the exburb in which he grew up, his parents’ and extended family’s educational backgrounds (no one has a college education; he is the first in the family to finish college), his parents’ jobs, etc. all fit with the blue collar mold). I’m from a white collar background (the part of the city where I grew up, private schools throughout, everyone in my family—including extende family—has graduate degrees and is a doctor/lawyer/accountant/etc. all fit with the white collar mold). DH is 100% at home with my family and repeatedly states he prefers spending time with my family to his. He fits in perfectly. For two huge reasons: (1) he is interested in a lot of things and very interesting to talk to (he is well educated even outside of the formal sense) and (2) starting in high school, he decided to start acting more white collar (he purposefully eliminated what he calls his family’s hick accent from his speech patterns (not my words); he worked on his grammer; he stopped licking a table knife; etc.).
So please don’t say it isn’t possible. It is possible if that is a change someone wants to make.
Googling “hidden rules of class” generates some interesting results. Ruby Payne it problematic, but her book “Hidden Rules of Class at Work” may be of interest. https://danielmiessler.com/study/class/
Wow this lady is extremely stereotype-y. There may be some truth to what she wrote, but idk if it’s helpful to OP.
https://www.tolerance.org/magazine/spring-2016/questioning-payne Ruby Payne is problematic.
I suggest reading books about manners. Some older books (maybe Emily Post, not sure) would be good with caveat that you need to accept some things for the time they written. I grew up poorer than blue collar even, and when I first went to work I realized that not only table manners but other manners (giving seats to people on the bus, or standing for someone out of respect) were things I just had no knowledge about.
Having impeccable manners, even veering a bit old fashioned will give you more confidence in interacting with all different types of people. The underlying objective of manners is to make others comfortable, and when you are focused on that, then you aren’t thinking about your own discomfort.
I agree with this. My family is big on old world manners and that’s helped a lot even when I don’t have other context.
+1 – I forgot but I bought and read the Letitia Baldridge book when I was a young worker in a very upper class job (private wealth mgmt.) and it was a BIG help.
https://www.amazon.com/Letitia-Baldriges-New-Manners-Times-ebook/dp/B002XQAAY0/ref=sr_1_4?crid=4LKW7X88NMDX&dchild=1&keywords=letitia+baldridge&qid=1587743551&sprefix=letitia%2Caps%2C215&sr=8-4
Having impeccable manners (or even knowing what the norm was) made it easier to interact in that world. For instance – I had NO idea you should tip the chambermaid in hotels (or have singles for the bellhops/etc.). I also followed her guidance about how to travel with your boss which was incredibly useful when I was the junior team member and began going on business trips. Our family wasn’t poor but was solidly blue collar on both sides and those social norms were not ‘normal’ to me.
+100 I did not grow up “privileged” but I definitely grew up privileged adjacent and went to private schools with plenty of old money (and new money) people. Manners are the key. Not only will it make you fit in more, but it will make you more comfortable in new situations.
As someone who’s very shy and awkward, I completely agree about manners. Manners are the roadmap to being comfortable in all kinds of situations, to the extent that you can be comfortable. Plus, I fool people all the time into thinking I’m not very shy and awkward!
I’m in mod for some reason but agree. I read the Letitia Baldridge book on manners (White House Social Secretary) and had so many ‘ah ha’ moments of how my bosses/older co-wokers acted in certain situations.
In a related vein, I’ve noticed that some of the “upper class” people I know have more of the British-style “stiff upper lip” when it comes to displaying emotions in professional settings. This is anecdotal, of course, but I’ve noticed that they tend to have tighter boundaries between work and personal life and are less likely to make any kind of dramatic scene. In contrast, I’ve known several staff from more blue-collar backgrounds (and again, this is just an anecdotal generalization) who have lost their tempers over miscellaneous office issues and yelled/been fairly inappropriate about it in public.
Huh I’m old money and one of my strongly held beliefs is that yelling is for children and emergencies. I wonder if I hold that belief from my upbringing. I find it so incredibly off putting and unprofessional when people raise their voice in a work setting. Also I say that phrase a lot so my friends may recognize me so *hi*
Yeah, either yelling or oversharing private matters – both of them jump out at me.
I’m imagining the phrase you say a lot is “huh I’m old money” and it’s cracking me up
@Anonymoud 1:22 LOL the phrase I was referring to was ‘yelling is for children and emergencies’
Eek I don’t think you meant this this way but this is really classist. I know plenty of upper class people who have way more inappropriate outbursts (for example, literally any story about Wall Street in the 80s). We as a society tend to view outbursts by wealthy or powerful people as acceptable in a way that would never be acceptable for less well off people. There’s also some racist undertones to this view that only low class people raise their voices.
I mean, this whole conversation is classist. I’m just relaying anecdotal evidence like everyone else. I do agree that we need to be sensitive about these issues, but I certainly am not intending ANY kind of racial commentary in my post.
FWIW, inappropriately loud traders on Wall Street aren’t upper class either.
It definitely is both classsist and racist! Hence my note below about trying to challenge this belief in myself. But the question was about “passing” as upper crust in America, so pretty much all the answers are likely to be both?
+1
I come from a super waspy background and my default setting is to basically be an emotional robot at work. Crying, complaining, sharing details of my personal life, etc. literally never occur to me. Obviously this varies by personality type (there are certainly lots of entitled upper class folks who will throw a fit at work), but as far as anecdotal generalizations go, I’m in agreement. I’m actually trying to fight this tendency so I can be a better and more empathetic manager to the humans who report to me.
I grew up on food stamps and behave the same way. This is not a class difference. It is based on personality.
That might be an old money thing – I’ve definitely known many upper-middle-class people (and new money) who can throw a tantrum with the best of them. My MIL grew up very UMC in New York during the 50s and damn, I’ve never heard someone get so worked up over stuff at restaurants. It’s incredibly embarrassing.
of course the whole convo is classist that’s the point- that was literally the question, how to “pass” as a class you’re not a member of.
As far as upper middle class and “new money” people throwing tantrums, I think most old money people would tell you neither of those categories are actually *wealthy*. LOL
I don’t even know if that’s true. My inlaws are very much blue bloods and similarly they get embarrassingly rude to staff at restaurants. I feel like this is classic people attributing good behavior to privileged people and ignoring their bad behavior.
Yeah, I’ve kind-of-randomly met a few very very rich guys recently and I definitely marveled at how down to earth they were before thinking, “Of course he should be polite and kind! What on earth does someone like him have to worry about?”
That said, I live in the epicenter of “do you know who I am?” (LA) so I’m pretty used to fancy people acting kind of rude and entitled. For years, I’ve felt like there should be some kind of bulletin for mildly-successful TV actors which points out that there are approximately 10000 TV shows and it’s not like we’re all watching the same three channels, so I really might not know that the mom on the school tour is the star of Young Doctors in Love or whatever is being covered by the tabloids.
One of the biggest “tells” of people trying to escape class backgrounds of which they are ashamed is making fun of other people. If you make snooty comments about someone’s old (but very nice) car or their well-cared for wool suit, you will out yourself. Maybe the person driving the 17 year old Mercedes has eight figures in the bank, at which point, you are the fool. Maybe that person is scraping by, at which point, you sound insecure in your own position by insulting them.
I agree with this. I come from a solidly middle class background but work with (what I perceived as) a bunch of upper class people. I was ashamed for years about my background because people would make snarky comments about things that I did as a child/my family still did. Now that I’m more established myself, it’s pretty easy to see that they were trying to escape their own not so solidly upper class upbringing.
Class by Paul Fussell. It is not a tutorial, but it is informative.
+1. It’s likely out of print at this point, but the behaviors and interactions of the true upper-middle and upper classes change so slowly that it’s relevant today.
I really enjoyed Tad Friend’s book, Cheerful Money: Me, My Family and the Last Days of WASP Splendor. It’s such an enjoyable read and for your purposes, I thought it was a fantastic peek in to a certain East-Coast money mindset. I have a dear friend who comes from a very WASP-y background and I had so many moments of “Ohhh … that makes so much sense!” when I read this book.
I am, for lack of a better word, ancient money, although only on my mother’s side. While the actual dollars in the bank have varied over the decades and centuries, her family have been privileged for centuries – in the US, and before that, in the UK. (Like, she’d never say it, but my mother considers the Windsors to be a bit arriviste.) My grandfather grew up in a house that had a name, and his aunts/uncles/cousins lived in other houses that had names. I didn’t grow up wealthy from a financial perspective, but class isn’t just money, it’s culture, and the older I get the more apparent it is to me how much I have benefited from generations of privilege.
When you’re talking about people like my family, “passing” isn’t really a thing, but it also doesn’t really matter – people who have been wealthy and privileged for that long are much more secure in their status and therefore far less likeLy to police other people’s degree of conformation to class-based behavior standards. Like, my cousins on my dad’s side are big ol’ rednecks and my mom loves them; my grandparents loved my dad because he was smart and hardworking, even though he grew up low-income and my mom had to teach him how to dress to interview for an office job. People who are newer to their money, though, tend to be hyperattentive to this sort of thing, because they’re less secure in their own position.
+1 to your entire second paragraph.
Yes, it’s the class-anxious professionals/fellow parents at my kids’ schools who are astonished that I’ll “lower” myself to working in the copy room as a parent volunteer or that I’m not hyperfocused on making sure my kid aces every class and gets into Hah-vaad.
Entirely frivolous question — those of you who have strong opinions about yellow vs white legal pads, what is your preference and why?
Seriously? If you have strong opinions about the color of your legal pad, you may have a lot of time on your hands.
You are not better than people with paper preferences. It’s a totally normal thing. I say this as someone who doesn’t care either way.
Ha, have you not worked with attorneys? Very little time, yet very strong opinions about all kinds of things!
I will never, ever forget being yelled at for not using the appropriate sized binder clip on a document. I wasn’t way off, but I didn’t use the “super mini” ones and apparently that was a BIG DEAL.
I don’t think it’s any weirder than pen preference!
Key word: frivolous.
Go away, you’re no fun.
I strongly prefer yellow. Because that way, I can always find my notes among a sea of otherwise white paper. I also require a stiff back and 3 hole punched.
+1 m, except I don’t care about the three-hole punch; yellow, wide rule, stiff back; working with anything else is naggingly annoying
I love the yellow because I think it’s easier on the eyes. And it’s pretty :) And I sadistically have fond memories of handwriting my outlines during law school (I graduated in 2013 and took notes by computer, but I’d camp out at the library during finals late at night – 7 to midnight – with a yellow legal pad and write everything out by hand as an old fashioned learning tool).
Neither. White pad with quadrille (grid) rule.
Oooh where do you get those? I prefer quadrille notebooks but they are hard to find in the US…
Local stationery store, but you can also find binder paper like this during the back to school sales at target and places like that. The binder paper pads tend to be bound on the side, if they are bound. The local stationery store pads are bound at the top and don’t have three holes.
I found some on amazo
AmazonBasics Quad-Ruled Paper Pad – Pack of 2, 8.5 Inch x 11.75 Inch https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D8SL3LV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_nwXOEbWX009GC
Law-ruled and yellow.
I want the summary/outline margin and to be able to find my notes
White, 5.5”x8”, unruled or with square gridlines, and that gummy top binding.
Steno notebooks for my to do lists and Moleskin or similar notebooks for taking notes.
Oh but I will kind of address your original question :) I don’t like legal pads because the pages rip out. I like to go back and look at notes from prior meetings and I get a sense of satisfaction from a full notebook.
When I worked in a law firm we had a stash of green ones (a sort of pastel minty fresh color). I liked those the best.
I don’t care about color, but I want ones that have good quality paper that I can tear off easily. I don’t care about hold punching because I end up foldering everything anyway and can add a hole punch if I need it. During law school I used grid paper because I liked being able to add notes to the side of other notes (text boxes, essentially) without it looking messy.
Pens, though…..Get your hands off of my G2 super fine points. I’m at my parents’ and had to go back to my hometown over the weekend to grab medication. While I was home, I also grabbed handfuls of my favorite pens because I HATE their awful ballpoint pens. I want my pens to etch the paper, damnit.
White, if white and yellow are my only option. At one point I had a pack of cloud-printed pads, and those were just fun.
Pale pink, lined, stiff back, 3 hole punch. And I can always spot where my notes are in binders, folders, etc.
This is a follow-up to the thread yesterday about when to lift lockdowns. The IMHE model suggests that containment phase should only begin if deaths are at zero.
Also, I am posting a link to a very informative ProPublica thread about how/when to effectively lift lockdowns.
I liked what someone posted yesterday about it not being possible to have “low level” spread while we live our normal lives. It’s either we accept exponential spread/deaths or we remain shut down until we have widespread testing, contract tracing, herd immunity, and hopefully one day a vaccine.
Honestly I don’t get the it must be shutdown completely or there will be massive spread view. Surely there is a world of difference in slowly expanding the types of places that can be open and putting protections in place for those openings (masks, social distancing, splitting shifts at work to minimize number of people in offices at once/on public transit at once, etc.) and opening up everything at once and resuming things like sporting events with tens of thousands of people.
This virus is so very contagious and the population is so susceptible that those precautions won’t be enough to prevent exponential spread.
See post directly below re Sweden. It appears to be possible to have some things open and not have insane speed rates. I’m so tired of people just throwing up their arms and saying it’s impossible so let’s just stay shut down. If the precautions above aren’t enough, then add more.
I don’t think this is true. They’ve linked a lot of cases to major events like the Super Bowl. You can’t have zero transmission without total lockdown (although you can’t have zero transmission even with total lockdown, it appears – look at Italy, which still has 50% of the daily new cases it did at it’s peak after two months of strict lockdown). The goal isn’t stamping out the virus completely (it’s always been known that that would require a vaccine), it’s preventing the healthcare system from being overloaded. Measures liking canceling all large events, letting those who can effectively work from home do so, and having high schools and universities go online can go a long way toward reducing the spread and keeping the numbers manageable for the healthcare system.
This is incorrect.
Manageable spread seems to be possible in Sweden. According to the daily monitoring data on the website of their public health authority, ICU admissions have remained nearly flat (currently trending down) for the past four weeks. They have 25% of their population above age 65 vs. 13% in the USA, overweight/obese population 50%. No lockdown, gatherings over 50 people are banned, only elementary school in session, but otherwise mostly voluntary social distancing recommendations. Data from Switzerland and Germany on the covid reproduction number is showing a similar level of social distancing policy is likely just as effective as lockdown, without the same level of economic devastation and infringement on civil liberties. Basically, the R has remained constant in those countries around one since before the harsh and mandatory measures were implemented.
Deaths will never be at zero. People still die of the flu, measles, TB, etc. We can’t remain in containment until no one ever dies from anything again.
Straw man.
No, truth. Deaths from this virus will never be zero, certainly not in our lifetime.
No, not a straw man. Some level of risk is inevitable, and the goal isn’t and can’t be to prevent all virus deaths. The justification given by virtually all public health officials for the initial lockdowns was that if we we didn’t shut down everything in March and April we would have overloaded the hospital systems across the country. We saw some of that in NYC (although it obviously would have been much worse without the steps taken in March) and a few other major cities. Overloading the hospital system will not only lead to lots of unnecessary COVID deaths, but also lots of other preventable deaths, since people can’t get treatment for *any* health condition if hospitals are overloaded. That’s obviously terrible. But the choices aren’t 1) totally overloaded hospitals where nobody can get treatment for anything and people are dying in ER waiting rooms or 2) lockdown until we have a vaccine. We can gradually reopen certain things, leading to a level of spread through the community that is slower and that hospitals are equipped to handle. That’s always been the stated goal of pretty much all public health officials in the US, including experts like Fauci.
Getting to zero new cases is a completely fantasy, especially in a country that has as many rule-breakers as the United States. Italy is almost 8 weeks into their lockdown, which was far more draconian than any US state has, and they are still having over 3,000 new cases per day. They had around 6,000 at the peak. So they’ve cut transmission by 50% but haven’t gotten anywhere near zero in two months of total lockdown – no outdoor exercise, even. The US could stay locked down from now until we have a vaccine and I don’t believe we will ever get to anything approaching zero cases. It’s just nearly impossible unless you have a population where 99% of the people comply with the rules and/or the government uses methods that would be considered unconstitutional in the US to catch the rule breakers.
It is a straw man to say that we’ll stay in lockdown until no one dies of measles or TB. Literally no one has ever claimed a desire to do that.
No one said that.
“Deaths will never be at zero. People still die of the flu, measles, TB, etc. We can’t remain in containment until no one ever dies from anything again.”
https://twitter.com/propublica/status/1253351877787467779
https://covid19.healthdata.org/united-states-of-america
Thank you for continuing to try to get this point across. The IHME model was always assuming that lock downs continued in all states until at least end of May, to get us to a best case scenario of 100k-200k deaths. Since several states actually never shut down, and some are now reopening, is it surprising that we are already above 50k deaths before end of April?
I don’t understand why this exact thread goes off the rails on this site every day. No one is saying we have to be in lockdown until a vaccine. That is a straw man that everyone keeps throwing out there to shoot it down. Yes, we are trying to flatten the curve to make sure that hospitals aren’t overwhelmed. But it’s not just one opportunity for them to get overwhelmed.
But if a virus has an exponential growth rate, if you start that rate from 1 million cases, you are going to easily double to 2 million. You need lock down to get you back down to a very low (close to zero) number of active infections, so that as the doubling restarts with reopening, you can quickly trace down everyone who is infected/exposed and quarantine them.
We will be able to reopen with some safety and some risk if we continue the full lockdown measures until the end of May. But since no one seems to be willing to do that, expect rapid returns to lockdowns once case numbers skyrocket again and threaten to overwhelm hospitals. I’m looking at you Georgia.
I’m completely fine staying locked down until the end of May and agree that Georgia and other states are jumping the gun. That said, I just don’t understand the argument that the US will be anywhere near zero deaths by the end of May or even by the end of August. Can you explain what’s happening in Italy? They’ve been fully locked down (much more strictly than the US – no outdoor exercise, one grocery store trip per family every two weeks, etc.) and in two months, they’re nowhere near zero new cases and deaths. Perhaps the lack of a steep drop in the new case numbers can be chalked up to increased testing, but they should be having more of a drop in the deaths than they’ve had. They still have close to 500 people dying per day; at peak it was just under 1,000. I understand the virus can have a 2 week incubation period and that people often die 3-4 weeks after getting it, but nobody is dying now in Italy who contracted the virus pre-lockdown. I personally believe Italy is much more analogous to the US than the Asian countries (because most Asian cultures are so different, they pretty much all wear masks in public and the government can use more draconian surveillance methods), so I just don’t see a universe in which the US gets to zero cases, regardless of whether the lockdown lasts for three months or three years. I’d love to be proven wrong, but no argument here or anywhere has convinced me that getting to zero deaths per day is possible in this country until we have herd immunity or a publicly available vaccine.
Fwiw, the IHME models have been so flawed for Italy (they say that Italy should be having 250 deaths per day at this point; they have almost double that, without any restrictions being lifted) that I don’t personally put any stock in them. Their projections for the US seem on track to be way off too. They seem to assume lockdowns to lead to very dramatic drops in new cases and deaths, and that hasn’t been the case so far in western countries.
While the lockdown in Italy is very strict, that has developed over time. In an earlier phase of the pandemic, govt officials were much more hesitant to put sweeping restrictions in place, plus there was a bit of a compliance issue as well. Those factors combined meant that the effects of the lockdown were only very delayed, as opposed to regions of the world that took drastic action at an earlier point in time.
Re: the models:
These models certainly are not perfect, and I’m sure it’s understandable why. There are just so many unknowns, and what normally happens is that in the absence of real data, the scientists plug an educated guess into the model. How do we predict compliance of the local population? How many cases even are there as we speak(are we testing sufficiently, how many people never develop symptoms, or just die before we can diagnose COVID)? All models are flawed, but what’s the alternative? Just reject any scientific insight? Wouldn’t it be better if the scientist can go to the head of state (or the right advisor) and say, here is my analysis and here are the blind spots of the analysis, and then the head of state makes the call based on the available (flawed) information?
+1 straw man. I think I’ve seen people saying that they personally are afraid to resume their normal activities before there’s a vaccine, but I have not seen anyone argue that ordered lockdowns should continue until then. Note also that whenever the idea comes up, nobody posts to defend it.
This. I’ve seen plenty of people say they will curtail travel/continue to avoid mass events/etc until there’s a vaccine. I haven’t made any final decisions myself, but due to my health risks, I will most likely avoid certain events even if they are “allowed.” However, NO ONE has argued that we should stay shut down entirely until there’s a vaccine – only until there is real testing.
“However, NO ONE has argued that we should stay shut down entirely until there’s a vaccine – only until there is real testing.”
Yes, this. All of the expert plans for reopening rely on widespread testing, which we aren’t going to have by May or June. Testing won’t eliminate transmission, but it will slow the spread and give authorities the information they need to implement targeted lockdowns in hot spots. If we ease up on social distancing without sufficient testing and contact tracing, we’ll end up right back where we started or worse.
I think there are plenty of people who effectively suggest this. When people say things that are never going to happen being the testing point for ending lockdown, they are effectively saying lockdown until vaccine. There is no universe where we get to zero new cases in the U.S. Or that testing can ramp up as much as some posters suggest (for one, there’s a raw material shortage to make the required number of tests). Or that perfect contact tracing happens (requiring things like tracking people’s movements 100%, good luck getting that to happen in a non-government controlled country like the U.S.).
I am more optimistic about the contact tracing. Google and Apple already track us every minute of every day.
There have been numerous comments here and on the moms page that school and daycare absolutely can’t reopen until there’s a vaccine. Without childcare (and the vast majority of families can’t afford nannies) parents are effectively locked down and not working. I don’t care about going to the salon but until I have a daycare to send my kids to, my life isn’t going to look any different than it does currently. I agree that saying you personally don’t want to travel anywhere until there’s a vaccine is fine – your body, your choices. But saying there can’t any be form of school or group childcare until we have a vaccine affects ~100 million people in the US alone that aren’t you.
I really haven’t seen people posting this. We need good testing before we can open schools, but as numerous people have stated, schools and daycares are actually easier to deal with in some ways because they are a closed environment. Once you have a kid or parent or teacher test positive, you have the whole class or the whole school self isolate for 14 days and then you can open back up. Much easier than, as discussed, a library or a store where anyone could have been there and there is no record of who was there when. Schools will reopen, but they will also shut down again.
Yellow, with a very stiff back. I feel like I earned the right to use yellow legal pads.
From a mention of it above – do any of you have a copy of the US edition of Salt Fat Acid Heat by Samin Nosrat? It’s much prettier than the UK edition and I will order it internationally, except that I can’t find any look-insides which include the recipe pages. Does she specify quantities in weights as well as volumes, do any of you know? I’d expect them to be ounces and pounds, which is fine – I just don’t have measuring cups or ever learnt the proper way to measure dry ingredients in cups.
Will the Amazon US ‘look inside’ give you a preview?
I’ve tried – it has previews of all sorts of information but not recipe pages. B&N has previews of different pages but still not recipe ones.
No idea, but if not you can always ask Alexa or search google for how many grams a cup of flour is or whatever. I Alexa a lot for baking conversions.
I went and looked at my copy and the measurements are all volumes (cups, tablespoons, etc.)
My father in law has the book and I will email him your question right now :)
Nevermind. I see you have your answer.
Perhaps you are unfamiliar with the concept of this book. Her entire point is to teach you to cook without using recipes or specific measurements, whether in weight or volume. It was intended to be a book without recipes at all, but no one believed it could sell without a few. So get the one you think is pretty, read it, practice it, and the weight vs measurement issue should be moot!
+1
It’s about developing your palate. When you taste a dish and find something missing, maybe it needs salt (and everything needs more than you think it should) or maybe it’s acid (a revelation to me!)
aha! I’ll get the pretty US edition then. The U.K. one is all staid and grayscale and I don’t need that in my cooking life!
Time to upgrade my covid-19 wardrobe! I want a sweater/hoodie that feels like a hug when I’m wearing it. Plus points for: machine washable and easy for breastfeeding (e.g., oversized or zipped). Recommendations?
Nursing hoodie! I bought one for my sister off am@zon and it was really nice. I’ll link in a separate comment.
Lou & Grey sweats, either from their website or LOFT’s.
These look great! Do they fit true to size? Thank you!
Yea, they fit true to size. I’m 5’0 with a larger chest and an XS fit well (XXS could’ve worked as well, but I preferred looser fit.) I ordered the ones from LOFT’s site. “Stars Above” from Target also has some cozy options.
It was the Smallshow Women’s Fleece Maternity Nursing Sweatshirt Hoodie Kangaroo Pocket. I was pretty impressed by the quality and it’s very snuggly (I tried it on before I gave it to her).
https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07KVQGV7C/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Cotopaxi Cubre hoodie! It’s zipped and the material feels like a teddy bear. You can get some last season’s colors for 50% off.
Vuori joggers are amazing
Help! 7 months pregnant and desperately need more lounge clothes but obviously can’t go try anything on.
Any recommendations for short sleeve pj sets (sheltering in place w extended family, so bonus if they’re conservative enough that I don’t feel weird eating breakfast in front of my FIL) and shelf type bras? My regular bras are getting too tight but I can’t get away w Zoom calls without something!
I love the Stars Above jammies from Target.
Try Carole Hochman from Costco for pj sets – they are super soft, come up to XXL (which fits a size up to 22 so would be fine for pregnancy even though not maternity) and generally covered up enough for what you are seeking.
+1 to these but also all PJ sets from costco generally. They hold up well (winter and summer pjs), are soft, and a great value for the price.
I’m 29 weeks (with my 2nd) and just bought some coobie bras bc all mine felt too tight in the band. They are supposed to be one size fits all. For lounge, I love the storq leggings, and I’ve also had great success with costco and gap loungewear, one size up from pre-pregnancy size. The cheaper loungewear I found stretches more than fancy stuff, so it accommodates all the way through 40 weeks.
Can spraying tick spray (Buzz Off “natural” or the DEET) on my Hunter boots ruin them? Do they need to be sprayed for ticks, or should I just do my pants and socks, etc?
You should spray pants, socks, shoes, etc with permethrin sprays to repel ticks. Let it dry for a day before you wear them outside. I don’t think it would ruin your boots but am not positive – I’ve sprayed my rubber boots but they’re a different brand.
And I should have said, permethrin is prove effective for ticks whereas the other sprays aren’t.
DEET definitely corrodes plastic. You want pyrethrin spray for clothing/shoes. Sawyer’s makes one.
Yes, it will ruin the boots. No, you don’t need to spray anything that a tick can’t bite through. I happen to be in the pro-DEET camp, but even I admit that it isn’t a perfect solution. Just spray your pants and do a thorough check when you get home. Also, I recommend taking off your pants and socks before you go inside if you have the privacy to do so. I have found ticks crawling across the laundry room floor and it’s just so gross.
https://infekt.ch/2020/04/sind-wir-tatsaechlich-im-blindflug/
Link for the Germany/Switzerland analysis. Google Translate is quite good German to English.
I live in Germany, and I haven’t heard any public health officials comment on this kind of analysis, even though the data comes from the RKI (German CDC). Are they hoping no one will notice?
This is not intelligible to me even with Google Translate. Can you summarize what it says?
Ah, sorry. I also meant to embed in the lockdown discussion, of course.
This is commentary from the chief physician of infectiology at a Swiss hospital. The graphs show the official state epidemiological calculations of the covid transmission rate over time in Switzerland and in Germany. In the first graph from CH, they banned large gatherings and issued social distancing and hygiene recommendations on 29.02. 10 days later the R value peaked and fell rapidly, and was already at 1 when lockdown was imposed on 13.03. In the second graph from German CDC called RKI, they banned large events on 09.03., one day before the R value peaked and started falling rapidly, schools and some businesses, like gyms and restaurants, were closed around 16.03., and lockdown was imposed on 23.03., at which point the R value was already at its lowest level. It has been stable since. He concludes that banning gatherings and voluntary measures were sufficient in both countries and the lockdown didn’t add any additional benefit. His main thesis was that officials say they are flying blind, but this data published by the respective governments themselves shows that is no longer the case.
Oh, very interesting. Thank you!
The governments are flying blind. Today’s data is about infections 3 weeks ago. That’s called hindsight. I the next week they’ll start making decisions based on that data.
His analysis of the numbers may be right, but his argument could be destroyed by a reasonably bright fifth grader.
I keep finding single ants in weird places in my house: office, bathroom, living room. They’re not in the kitchen and I’ve never found a trail of them, but I KEEP. FINDING. ANTS. Traps work, but then the problem will restart. Should I call an exterminator? Or are there DIY options? I want them gone forever…
I think this is normal. We have this in our house and we just need to keep replacing the traps to keep the problem in check. Unless traps are failing to control the problem, an exterminator doesn’t seem worth the money to me.
Same! We’ve been finding a lone ant in the shower the past few nights. Sometimes two, but never a full trail. They aren’t even congregating near the smelly soaps, just chilling on the wall.
I’m just letting them live their little ant lives until I see a bunch of them.
We have the ortho home defense spray, but I hate using it if we don’t need to. It does seem to work well down here in the south where we have so many summer bugs. I know there’s some sort of pelleted stuff you can put around the perimeter of your house too. We stopped using that because I was concerned about the dogs eating it.
If you want something a little less toxic, I’ve read good things about borax.
I think it’s normal this time of year. We have used Terro in the past when we suspected we had a nest in the wall (ants eat it and take it back to the nest) and it works, but you have to be careful with it if you have children or pets around.
I don’t know that it’s realistic to expect them gone forever. We get lots of tiny ants in the PNW and our annual routine is to spray the perimeter of the base of the house (outside) once in the late spring/early summer when it is dry outside. We maintain with small terro traps outside and and in side at strategic points and that manages the problem.
Has it been really wet where you’re at? I’ve noticed we get ants when we’ve had a lot of rain. It dries up, the ants go away. Apparently, ants aren’t fans of water and it chases them out of their usual hiding places. If we’re in for a rainy spell, or if I see a lot of them, I use Terro — that stuff is awesome for getting rid of ants, but I agree with anon a mouse, you have to be careful if you have kids or critters. Terro does make closed traps that are supposed to be safe to use around kids and pets, but I’ve never tried them.
We get ants this time of spring every single year. Sometimes they are teeny little black ones that go after the fruit bowl and the sink, this year they are larger black ones that congregate around the garbage can and greasy stove spills. My solution is those little Raid ant bait traps. They are cheap, I can shove them behind furniture, in the pantry corner behind the trash can, under the oven, in the windowsill by the sink, then forget about them until next spring.
H E L P L O S T
F I N D Q U E E N
W O R K
A hotel canceled my June reservation last week. They tried to get me to take a credit, but eventually offered a refund when I insisted on one. They told me they will process the refund “on or after September 1.” This seems…not reasonable to me. It’s a pretty significant sum of money, so even five months of interest on it is not nothing, and they didn’t even give me a date by which I’m guaranteed a refund. Is there anything I can do about it?
Dispute the charge with your CC holder.
yikes. Sounds like they have a major cashflow problem. Can you ask your credit card company to help?
If you paid by credit card call your credit card company and put in a dispute and the money will go back quicker
I wouldn’t wait as they might not exist in September. Dispute the charge on your credit card.
Your state attorney general’s office may be able to help. Look for their consumer protection page and file a complaint.
Anyone have any leggings recommendations? I’ve been finding it hard to get dressed/have been mostly wearing ratty sweatpants, and am hoping to at least start to wear leggings and exercise daily. Specifically, Zella Live-In vs. Studio Lite, Athleta, Lululemon, pockets/no pockets? Thanks!
The zella live-in high rise and lululemon high rise wunderunders are my favorite for just hanging out – they are sweatpants to me. I would not wear them to exercise- I prefer the lululemon pace rival leggings for exercise
The Zella live-ins are very thick. If you’re in a climate that is about to warm up, the Lululemon might be nicer temperature-wise. I mostly wear Zellas in the late fall/winter/early spring. I’ve been impressed with some of the new Target ones, and I haven’t been before. I vote for a pocket for your phone unless you typically wear a top with pockets.
Thanks for the feedback. I ordered the Zella’s with pockets to try for loungewear (the Studio Lite had weird asymmetrical bottoms) and Athleta’s Salutation Stash Pocket for workout. Will also check out Target.