Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Lilies Jersey Sweater

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Rick Owens Lilies Jersey Sweater | CorporetteThis look — the widely belted cardigan — has been around for a few years now (if not always?) and I really like it. It’s a flattering look for a lot of women, and it’s got enough structure that it looks almost as formal (IMHO) as a blazer separate. This stretch-jersey one (with touches of wool and angora) is $760. Gorgeous. (It looks like you can get other colors of the same cardigan on sale, such as at Yoox.) Rick Owens Lilies Jersey Sweater

Psst: here’s a fabulous plus-size option (available in a number of jewel tones).

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected]




  1. MomAnon4This :

    TJ, hoping to redirect answers to the r e t t e Moms page today, but wanted to post here to draw attention:

    TJ: So, I just tested positive on Saturday, and we’ve been trying for awhile so I’m excited/anxious. Question: What pregnancy webpages, apps and especially online forums have been most helpful to you? I’m looking for an intelligent, friendly forum with supportive women. Seems to me most forums (like on WhatToExpect.com and Babycenter.com) are full of people yelling “baby dust!” and comparing 5D ultrasounds, but the medical webpages are so clinical and not emotional at all – is there a group of people like this, intelligent, funny, who also want to talk about pregnancy? I realize I especially rely on online groups in the 1st trimester (or for my and my anxiety, before even 20 weeks), before I go forward and tell friends, co-workers, other people I’d want to discuss with, I appreciate the anonymous factor. I just want the right kind of community. Thoughts?

    • My husband and I are still in the trying phase, but I really enjoy the BabyBumps community at Reddit (reddit.com/r/babybumps). Lot of anonymity, “graduation” pics, etc.


      • Thanks. I have been looking for something similar & will have to check that out.

    • Following because this is the only place I’ve found like that.

    • Hollis Doyle :

      I never found one…which is why I think so many moms and moms-to-be post their questions here. Alphamom isn’t a community or forum, but she’s hilarious and very honest and realistic. It would be great if such a community existed. Maybe someone here should start one!

      • That’s the vision for the moms site, just isn’t working. Yet.

      • Kat did. It’s called Corporette Moms! If people keep trying to use it, it will improve.

      • Srsly? It’s called Corporette Moms.

      • I just read two of the baby-name turf posts. People are insane. And alphamom does a great job of calling people out on their insanity.

      • Flying Squirrel :

        Agreed that AlphaMom is fun. But just a warning that AlphaParent is a totally different site full of judgment against mom’s who can’t/don’t want to BF. Just a PSA if you’re googling for the site.

    • Not to state the obvious, but isn’t that exactly what the this site Mom’s page was created for?

      • There is a comment like this every time someone posts about parenthood/pregnancy. She addressed why she’s posting here at the top of her comment. Can’t you just skip this particular thread? I don’t mind reading about these issues, even though I’m not a mother/pregnant.

        • I don’t know how this ended up down here. I was replying to a comment on the first post about pregnancy that was apparently deleted… oops.

        • Can we just agree that when someone basically says, “I am feeling irrational about X and just want to vent anonymously,” it’s probably not necessary to respond with, “but that’s irrational!?”

          • Heartily seconded.

          • Agreed.

            And AIMS: were you asking about looking polished a couple of weeks ago?

          • I think my comment ended up in a weird place, but I stand by the general principle in any event.

            And, Reix – yes, I was. Have you figured out the secret to this?

        • Agreed. Somehome has a case of the Mondays! Just let the woman vent.

      • I think Kat needs to actively step in on these posts and gently nudge people to the Moms site, as well as do some cross posting. Hosting actual forums for this site and the moms site would probably go a long way. I feel like some forums/ blogs are better at keeping discussions on topic than others- unfortunately, people aren’t gravitating towards the mom site, so these topics get posted here. That’s not the fault of the OP.

    • Longest Shortest Time Mamas on Facebook. The only rule is “don’t be mean.”

  2. Red Beagle :

    I think the placement of the belt on this cardigan is a bit high and with the way the tails fall, it creates a pooch or faux baby bump… It might work on a tall straight body but I think on someone with curves it doesn’t have enough structure and could be frumpifying.
    That being said, I like it a million times more than the karate jacket/bathrobe from a few days ago…

    • Totally agree — if I were a celebrity and wore this, I’d be on the cover of every tabloid with OMG baby on it.

      That said, I don’t think the drapiness is in its favor unless it would be over a seamless microfiber shell of some sort. I say this b/c I recently returned a shirt b/c the buttons on the pockets created an awkward headlight effect when worn under a sweater (a must in my meatlocker / office combo).

    • Spirograph :

      Yes, I actually thought I was on the moms s1te for a second, because this definitely looks like a maternity top. Or at least something that one would wear while trying to hide the early stages of pregnancy.

    • This top would be incredibly flattering on me, actually! I’m smallest right below my bust so am always on the lookout for clothing with an empire waist. No one has ever asked me if I was pregnant, probably because I’ve been wearing this style for years and my coworkers see it as normal for me.

  3. Paging Medic Maggie :

    In the Friday Open Thread you mentioned you went from a size 10/12 to a 0/2. I’d love to hear how you did this as our proportions seem to be similar.

    • Medic Maggie :

      Hey! Thanks for the call-out. The bulk of my weight loss was through CrossFit. I found a great gym in my town, and they were really super-supportive. I know that CF has a lot of mixed reviews, but I will be the first to tell you that it 100% varies by the gym, the coaches & their programming. My gym (at least, when I went–it seems to have changed now, and I haven’t been in months, but that’s a totally different story) was open, the coaches were adults (it’s one thing to be coached like a BAMF by an adult, it’s another thing to be a 30-something coached by a college girl.) The people in the class that I frequented (6:30 am) were mostly working folks, with families, so the vibe was totally different than if I attended the daytime classes when there are more college kids. It’s all about the vibe & the atmosphere. Not enough people appreciate that about ANY gym, not just CF.

      I didn’t make any changes to the way that I ate, other than to do a pretty good job of cutting processed foods. Do I still eat them? Youbetcha. Just not as much. I did a paleo challenge a couple of years ago, and while it did seem to help me feel better/more alert/more focused (and lost some weight), it was just too restrictive, especially when cooking for a family that didn’t want to venture down the same road. So, I just cook mostly from scratch, using whole foods, organic when I can afford.

      Lately, though (since about February) I’d battled a thyroid roller coaster, and haven’t been to the gym. The self-perpetuating cycle that it was made me feel so sick that I wasn’t hungry, and so didn’t eat, and then it would get worse–it has taken since May (when we started changing the dose of my thyroid meds) to come back to an even keel and stop losing weight. In mid June/July, I had to start looking at the scale to put pounds back on because my weight loss was so severe due to the thyroid crap. As it stands now, we aren’t in a good position for me to re-join the gym for a number of reasons, but I am maintaining my new low weight just by eating healthy foods for the most part. Did I eat a bunch of cookies last night? Yep. But, apple with peanut butter & yogurt for breakfast, leftover steak & veggies for lunch, and chicken for dinner tonight is what helps to maintain that normalcy.

      I also do think that a part of my weight loss simply had to do with timing. When I started CF, my youngest son had just turned 1 a few months prior, and had just weaned. So, my body was set up at the time I started, to start losing weight. As I continued with CF, and get down off the “still nursing-must eat everything” wagon, the weight came off pretty easily. I was stuck for a while about mid summer last year at 115-120# and a size 4. Since then, as I said, I hadn’t been to CF as regularly as I had been (I started off at 3x a week, and was very regimented about that. But, starting in summer of last year, my attendance really dwindled because of work schedule). Surprisingly, once I stopped CF altogether, I lost a lot of body fat (but I also attribute that in large part to the thyroid-induced weight loss), and then became very lean & thin (in both a good way and a bad way).

      I am so far out of exercise right now, that I have pretty much zero athletic capacity. I hope to start running again (I used to hate running, but I ran in high school on CC team–it occurred to me the other day that I might actually enjoy running now that I’m not carrying so much extra weight). I simply maintain with good food, and trying to stay somewhat active with my family. I live a largely sedentary lifestyle now, and know that my time with my current metabolism and body is limited if I don’t pick exercise back up. I mow the grass, I garden, I walk & hike with my kids. Other than that, though, I don’t do anything.

      I’m happy to share more, but that’s the nutshell version.

      • Paging Medic Maggie :

        Thanks for the info! I also have thyroid issues (hypo, not hyper, which makes me uggggg sluggish). I never have energy or a desire to work out. Lately I have been trying to eat lower carb, and I have a trainer once a week, and I track on MFP, but it’s very early on in the process. I know I want to do this, but i’m bad at convincing myself to put in the work.

        I’ve been debating trying Crossfit, but I’m so weak and out of shape that it’s intimidating. I’m trying to get from 150 to around 125, or at least lower my body fat and increase my muscle mass, so this is all very helpful!

        • Medic Maggie :

          Don’t be intimidated by CF. That’s the worst thing you can do to yourself. If you have multiple gyms available, take a preview class/check out the clientele and see if a gym suits your personality. If you are intimidated by a gym, then the gym is doing you no favors (and are missing out on a client, to be honest). They should be accommodating of all levels of fitness, and working to get you where you want to be, without pushing or injury. ANY gym should do that, not just CF.

          That being said, I am also hypothyroid, but when I switched to a different dose of a different med, it threw me way into hyper to where I was feeling worse than I was if I was just sluggish all the time. Trust me, it was terrible. Having been on both ends of the spectrum, I’d rather take hypo than hyper any day of the week.

          Without seeing you, I’d guess your body is my old body. I was at 150-160 at my highest postpartum. I’m now in the 105-110, and I suspect it won’t be too hard to maintain, even without exercise. I think when our bodies reach a point of stasis, whatever that “comfortable” weight is, it stays there. At 150, I was in stasis. And it wasn’t hard to not lose, but not gain, either. Now, I’m at another point of stasis, and have been for months–that’s why I say that I don’t think my current weight will be difficult to maintain despite lack of exercise. If anything, I should see some weight gain if I increase my muscle mass. I don’t have much more body fat to lose, so I’m not going to see a dramatic body-reshaping like I did a year ago.

  4. Wanderlust :

    $760 for Jersey? Outrageous.

  5. Any suggestions for a similar sweater in a much more reasonable price range (under $100)?

    • I have returned wrap/belted sweaters to both LE and Boden (for the crime of enhancing post-partum pooch). Had I been broad-shouldered / built differently, they would have been lovely to have kept (and affordable).

    • http://www.modcloth.com/shop/sweaters/airport-greeting-cardigan-in-charcoal

      • That’s really cute! Way too casual for work, but I could see myself wearing it all the time on the weekends. Thanks!

      • I have this and love it! It is SO comfy

      • I just bought this! Thank you for the link. I really shouldn’t have bought it, but I know I will get so much wear out of it that I managed to justify the purchase. I wish they had it in navy, but I went with the charcoal as I now mix grey with brown b/c I don’t give a crap.

  6. Can we talk about flats? I’m searching for a pair to wear with skirts that 1) do not look like orthopedic shoes, 2) have a strap so that I don’t have to worry about them falling off my feet when I walk, and 3) seem like they’d be comfortable enough to walk a few blocks in.

    Does anyone have a pair that they love? I have a few contenders, but there don’t seem to be a ton of choices out there. The Ivanka Trump look like they might be versatile:

    • The most truly comfortable flats I have are Gentle Souls Bay Unique. Not sure if that style would work for you, but all their shoes are insanely comfortable, walk for miles, types.

    • They don’t have straps, but I have several pairs of the Ashley flat from Banana Republic. I get extra pairs when they go on sale. I am a real estate agent, so I am on my feet walking around most of the day and these are the most comfortable ones I have found that meet my strict look requirements for flats.

    • christineispink :

      Not sure how many have straps, but I bought a few pairs of Cole Haan pointy flats at the beginning of the summer and have been wearing them nonstop. Bought them just for commuting but they’re so comfy and STYLISH(!) that I’ve been wearing them at the office as well. Just sent a pair to the cobbler to resole the bottom. If you get a good fit (not sure if you are one of the commenters with skinny heels), you shouldn’t need a strap to keep them on.

  7. Anonymous :

    Does anyone have the Bean boots? Which ones? Are the comfortable? Warm? Durable? I’ve been thinking of picking up a pair, they seem perfect for weekend/commuting.

    • Wanderlust :

      I have them, the taller, fleece-lined ones. They are very warm and comfortable and have lasted through at least two winters now (NYC winters, but still).

      My one complaint is that I don’t know if my legs are too wide or the boot itself is too narrow, but I can’t lace it all the way up to the top. The laces end around three holes from the top. It’s not a huge deal, though.

    • I have the 10″ shearling lined ones and I looove them. I’ve had them for a couple of years, and they are holding up wonderfully, though I’m not exactly a rugged outdoors type. The leather was a little stiff at first, but it softened up nicely. The thing to be aware of about the shearling is that it is only in the leg part. The foot part is not shearling, but you can get an insole separately for that if you want. They are roomy enough to wear big wooly socks with, which is what I do. I think the advice is to typically go a full size down if you don’t want to wear giant socks.

    • I have the classic bean boots with Thinsulate. Very warm for the winter, very waterproof, and plenty of room for thick socks. I didn’t spring for the Goretex because I’m not usually walking through deep snow or puddles for long periods of time; it’s usually packed snow/ice/slush puddles on corners. They are a little bit slippery on ice- I’ve been thinking about getting the bands you put on the bottom for more traction (name is escaping me at the moment).

      And like CPA lady, I had to go a full size down and they are still roomy.

  8. Red Beagle :

    I am looking for a decent quality but preferably under $100 pony hair or otherwise leather mid-heel leopard pump. Anyone have any thoughts on the Clarks linked in the reply to this?

    • Red Beagle :


    • Medic Maggie :

      I think they’re adorable, and I would trust Clarks above many others for quality & comfort (especially for that price). Nice find!

    • hoola hoopa :

      I have loved every Clarks shoe I have owned. Go for it!

    • Those look great. I’m a big fan of Vaneli heels for comfort and durability http://www.dsw.com/shoe/vaneli+ubert+pump?prodId=307057&_-_-all-_-VanEli-_-307057&mr:trackingCode=0511F7D4-C525-E411-BF7E-001B2163195C&mr:referralID=NA&cm_mmc=affil-_-ShopStyle.com-_-1909792-_-2178999-_-DSW+Product+Catalog-_-11398186

      • Red Beagle :

        Wow, those are nice! And I’ve never even heard of VanEli until now! Very similar to the Clarks I linked to, but less cash. Now I have two great options… Thanks!

  9. Work Relationships :

    I’m wondering if anyone can provide some insight on when a work relationship is inappropriate/crosses the line. I work in a rather formal office where I’m the youngest person by at least 6 years and everyone has a very professional relationship. However, my SO works in an office with a lot of young people. The issue is not so much happy hours or other things, but rather a relationship he has with an older associate who is somewhat his mentor (not formally matched or anything). She often emails him personal things on the weekends or late night (think random articles that aren’t work related with messages like “this reminded me of you”). I also know her through mutual friends and she rubs me the wrong way. We were all recently at the same event and they spent most of the event talking together and drinking. When I approached my SO about it, he said he “was working.”

    I don’t think my SO is cheating or anything of that nature. This relationship just really makes me feel uneasy and I’m wondering how can I get over it/let it go if I’m overreacting. Thoughts?

    • Doesn’t sound like overreacting to me. Trust your gut but don’t fly off the handle. Have a very calm, frank conversation with your SO where you tell him exactly what you told us, starting with you don’t think he’s cheating but all of this rubs you the wrong way. Be respectful and expect him to be the same.

      • Diana Barry :

        +1. I would be most worried about the event and him talking with her all night – was that a work event for his company? does he think she can help him to get ahead in the company? something else?

        Regardless, don’t worry about her in a vacuum – worry about his reaction to her. See if he listens to you in a serious conversation as Toffee suggests.

    • Talk to him. She probably likes him and subscribes to the school of you’re a girlfriend not a wife so he’s fair game. Get in front of it with him.

    • Second the talking to him – tell him honestly that it made you uncomfortable when the two of them talked all night (or other instances). As long as you don’t come from a place of accusing him of anything, it’s not overreacting.

    • I don’t think the work relationship is necessarily crossing a line. And I think if his work friend were a dude his own age you’d have zero issue with it.

      Nope. Not an issue with work appropriateness at all.

      It’s a major issue with your SO who clearly wants to bang her, ignores your concerns, and is probably enjoying the relationship. Talk to him absolutely, but this isn’t an office politics issue, it’s an intimacy v jealousy one.

      • If a male colleague acted this way toward my husband, I’d think that the male colleague was gay.

        • Srsly? She emails him articles that might be interesting and socialized with him publicly at a work event they both attended. If that’s a sign of sexual attraction me and my coworkers must be planning an epic orgy.

          • Yeah. Multiple random e-mails about articles that made the colleague think of my husband and monopolizing his attention at a social event is weird.

        • I know first- and second-hand of intense yet totally platonic and asexual work relationships, sometimes lasting years. And yes, sometimes it does help the younger employee get ahead in his or her career. Not saying it couldn’t be otherwise, but I would not jump to conclusions.

        • Lol, my friends and I email articles back and forth all the time. I guess that makes us gay for each other?

          • No. You’re friends, not colleagues.

          • A lot of my friends are people I’ve worked with.

          • Friends and colleagues are mutually exclusive? I should inform all my male friends who are also colleagues of this development.

          • Yeah. Some people are colleagues. Some people are friends. Sometimes colleagues can become friends. But generally they’re two different relationships with two different protocols of behavior.

          • Again: many of my friends are people I have worked with previously. These friends include both males and females. At work we were always professional with each other. But, when we hung out during happy hour/on the weekends the dynamic was solidly friends, not coworkers. One (female) friend and I would pretty much exclusively hang out together during work events because my firm is very small and other coworkers are much older.

            I think you need to accept that a lot of people are actually friends with some of their coworkers. Two same-s3x colleagues becoming friends does not mean you should assume they’re gay. And, more importantly, someone being gay doesn’t necessarily mean they’re automatically interested in every member of the same s3x they trade emails with.

        • Yay! Pricey Monday’s! I love Pricey Monday’s, but the sweater look’s a littel DOWDY to me, and at that PRICE, Kat, I will NOT be sweateing in that one! FOOEY!

          As for the OP, talk to HUBBY. While it may be innocent, if your husband is at all tempted, it’s best to stop it b/f it get’s worst. Also, find out what SHE look’s like. It could be a probelem if she is very cute, as oposed to a pack mule. When I was dateing Alan, he alway’s told me about women who wanted him, but after I got to see who it was that suposedly wanted him, I rested easier. Also, I knew that even tho I thought Alan had posibilitie’s, I remember that he realy was kind of objectieveley a SCHLUB that a decent girl would have to think about, b/c women are NOT attracted to guy’s who habitueally pick their noses and scratch in their office’s in place’s that I should NOT mention here on this blog.

          In all likeleihood, you are fine, but like I said, you do NOT want this to explode and have to deal with his affair later.

          BTW, I saw the tennis match. Serena beat Caroline. The manageing partner said I looked alot like Caroline — don’t I wish. She had NO tuchus whatsoever, so I think he was full of BS. Again, he kept askeing me about wearing a tennis dress like her for him to review. FOOEY! Not any time soon. Mabye when I qualify for the US Open! DOUBEL FOOEY! I did NOT get any cleint’s out of it, so it was just another waste of time. I did not eat alot this time tho. YAY!!!!!!!

      • Work Relationships - OP :

        I should add that I’m pretty positive he is not attracted to her, but rather feels some kind of obligation because she is superior to him (and also helped him get the job). The event did make me really uncomfortable, but up until then I had only felt weird about her actions.

        • Just keep in mind, whether he’s objectively (physically) attracted to her appearance or not, many many people are attracted to those who show them attention and make them feel important or special.

        • I had a similar situation to this a couple years ago. I had always worked in situations with much older coworkers and while friendly with people at work, there was always a clear line. I had a boyfriend who worked in an environment of people around his same age.

          I trusted him completely but did not trust a girl he worked with – she just rubbed me the wrong way. Their office was such that many of them did happy hours and hung out outside of the office, which I was fine with, except that it gave her opportunities to act inappropriately. Essentially, she treated him like an in-office boyfriend. It all blew up when he invited her and several coworkers to a birthday party (which was fine, it was a large event) but then she texted him and became upset that he wasn’t taking her! To MY birthday party! Seeing how upset her crossing the line made me on my own birthday really made it clear to him how inappropriate she was. I had been telling him before that it was bothering me and pointed out specific examples of how she was different than other female coworkers, but unfortunately it had to come to that to make it clear to him.

          Best of luck; it stinks. And my situation was not one where she was superior, either. Be clear to him about how it makes you feel and point out specifically what makes you uncomfortable and why. And perhaps suggest solutions that you would be comfortable with and why you think it could make for a better precedent where he isn’t losing a valuable work connection.

      • Jesus Christ. He “clearly wants to bang her”? That’s quite the leap. There is nothing that has been presented that supports that. There’s a lot of things that could be going on right now – so no, I don’t think it’s so clear to most reasonably minded people who aren’t looking to jump to conclusions that he “clearly wants to bang her”.

    • What you’ve described here wouldn’t necessarily concern me, except your gut feeling that is making you uneasy about it. I’ve had plenty of friends (both male and female) in firms that I’ve had this type of friendship with, but 1) they are pretty close to my seniority level and 2) it was completely, totally platonic and usually the emails were on a group level (2-3 of us copied, rather than just one friend of the opposite gender).

      I don’t think a conversation about what concerns you is overreacting, but be prepared that he may not necessarily see it your way.

      • Eh, I once thought this type of situation was no big deal until my fiancé left me for the work “friend” – listen to your gut.

        • The concern here though isn’t that he is cheating or is going to cheat/break up with OP, but rather that the volume of time he spends with colleague and the types of interactions they have are having a negative impact on his relationship with OP. It’s sort of like work colleague is intruding on the intimacy that the couple has together. Boundaries need to be set to preserve that intimacy, not to somehow prevent him from cheating.

          • +1 My ex-boyfriend took issue with a few of my male friendships for a couple of reasons: (1) because his ex-fiance had cheated on him with a co-worker; and (2) because I was talking to my friends more than I was talking to him and it was interrupting our time together. He didn’t approach me about it in the most productive way, but I certainly understood the bit about my interactions with these people reducing our couple time and therefore intimacy. I cut back my communication with these friends while I was participating in couple time, although I did not agree to cut off the friendships.

    • Let me sum up your situation: A woman you don’t care for is crossing boundaries with your SO, but SO has a positive professional relationship with her and doesn’t think boundaries have been crossed. You weren’t particularly bothered by the situation before, but now it seems like SO is taking her side/contributing to the problem. So there’s a loyalty issue that SO has (probably unwittingly) triggered.

      First, as others have said, SO has to acknowledge your point of view. He doesn’t have to agree that boundaries have been crossed, but he has to respect your discomfort. Second, SO can start nicely establishing better boundaries with mentor. This is where you’re going to have to compromise. He shouldn’t let mentor interfere with couple time or make you feel excluded, but this is an important professional relationship for him that he will have to nurture. For the nighttime and weekend emails – don’t respond immediately, but you have to be OK with him responding at some point. For work c*cktail hours, socialize with other people, but you have to be OK with him spending a chunk of the evening chatting with mentor.

    • I can understand why OP feels uncomfortable with this particular situation. But it’s unfortunate that it’s so tricky to establish a mentor relationship with someone of the opposite sex. This definitely disadvantages women more at this point, as it’s still the case that the senior people in most companies are men.

    • You are overreacting.

    • I don’t have anything better than what has been said but I just want to say that sucks you have to go through this! Gut feelings are that way for a reason though. Good luck!

  10. Last week, y’all helped someone style a (from what I remember) pink, silk, knee length party skirt with a t-shirt to take its formality down a notch. I love that look on style blogs, but where would you actually wear it in real life? Like, what specific event? Brunch? Going out at night? What? I would love to wear something like that but feel like I would get comments.

    • Baconpancakes :

      Date night, the symphony, non-formal party, anywhere you want to feel a little fancy but don’t want to be overdressed.

      As far as wearing that kind of thing, you’ve just got to rock it. People will look – because you look AWESOME. When I wear slightly more “fashiony” outfits – think cropped trousers with silky tees, sneakers, and baseball caps with red lipstick a la J.Crew models, I know I look good, but when I notice other women glancing at me more than often, I assume it’s because I look great, and strut a little bit.

    • I find nights out with the girls are great for this kinda thing – if I had a boyfriend, I would totally rock fashiony outfits on date night with him but sometimes it’s a bit too much for the early stages of dating. However, a night out with the girls is perfect! I find they definitely appreciate the fashiony outfits more than most guys would and if you end up going somewhere fun, you definitely feel like strutting it.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I love to wear outfits like that to the theatre. One of my fave outfits ever was a blush-colored skirt made of fabric roses worn with a black turtleneck sweater to the ballet last winter.

  11. Potentially stupid question, but I honestly have been wondering:

    What’s the purpose (if any) of the dangly “strings” with metal ends on handbags? A lot of high-end bags I see have a leather string hanging from the straps and then a metal “plate” with the handbag’s brand on it. The Birkin, for example, has one with the metal plate covered with leather. Is it just decorative or am I supposed to do something about it?

    • J Crew rant :

      I think there is a key in there and the straps will tie fit together to lock down the flappy top piece.

      Ugh. Why do I even know this?

      • Hmm…I have an Akris tote that has one of these, and the metal bit in the leather casing just looks like one big silver trapezoid with “Akris” written on it…is that different than the Birkin one then?

        • History buff :

          Yes — the dangle thingie has a key inside. There’s a french name for it.

  12. J Crew rant :

    Ugh. Why, why can I wear a suit at Banana and it fits great right off the rack (size found after trying on about 5 of each item — it really helps to have items in stores)? And why, why does JCrew not carry its suiting pieces in stores? And then force you to buy a ton of items to try on at home (without 3-way mirrors, etc.)? I am staying on Team Banana for the foreseeable future.

    • My J Crew has suiting, or did they stop carrying them since I’ve been in?

      • J Crew rant :

        Mine is in a big city (has 2 professional sports teams) but it is not on a coast or a great lake. Perhaps not a critical mass here? But my Banana has suits.

        • Looks like J Crew has free shipping today, so you can at least order stuff at no extra cost today!

    • My own J. Crew rant:

      What is this?!


      Go home, J. Crew. You’re drunk.

      • I was expecting something really off-base but I actually kinda like this sweater in the cream/camel/grey. Am I crazy?

        • No- I bought it in the solid camel colour, I’m wearing it today, and I’ve already gotten a bunch of compliments. I’d consider buying the multicolor one if I didn’t already have the solid one.

        • Anonymous :

          I like this too and was planning to buy it on sale. Now not so sure……

      • LOL +1

      • Medic Maggie :

        Maybe it’s that the model looks like she just got some terrible news?? She does not look very happy in the side shot.

      • Alanna of Trebond :

        Styling is weird but love the sweater

      • Manhattanite :

        There’s a similar zip hem sweater at BR. Must be take off of some super high end piece out there?

        • Ann Taylor has some zip hems this season, too. Clearly a trend. I kind of like it on the J Crew sweater, though I think it would be a weekend piece for me (maybe “jeans day”).

      • Just posting to LMAO at this. thank you!

  13. Medic Maggie :

    input please:

    A few weeks ago, I posted under a different handle seeking out what others were looking for as new fall covet-pieces. A poster commented about needing to rebuild a wardrobe, and I mentioned that I had done a lot of my wardrobe rebuilding with thrift-shop purchases. The poster commented that she was daunted by that idea, and I mentioned that I was thinking about starting a blog that chronicles my finds & how to put them together, and what to look for.

    I’m reaching that point where I think I may be ready to start posting…
    I would like some input on a blog title.
    So far, I’ve been able to come up with: “PollyPennyPants” “BettyBargainBritches” “Twentyinmypocket” “Budgetbureau” (not one of my favorites). I’m having trouble coming up with other ideas. Any of these speak to you? Any other ideas? I’m eager to see what you all would have to say (and if anyone would even venture over to see what I might post)

    • Playing DressUP :

      Are you really going to thrift shops or more consignment shops?
      I don’t like “britches” because I see the b-word in there. And 20inmypocket doesn’t speak to the formality.
      I like PollyPennyPants. Or SallySaveASkirt? Or DollyDressforLess?
      This is fun. Good luck and let us know the link!

    • Personal (Thrift) Shopper? Idk, it’s monday.

    • I love “Twenty in my pocket!”

    • Diana Barry :

      Thrifty McThrifterson.

    • Consignment Chic?


      Stylish Saver

    • Miss Behaved :

      If you were from around here, I’d suggest FilenesBasementisMyMecca or something similar


    • No suggestion on names, and I’m catching up. On R E T T E, so I didn’t read you post. I would like to plug shopgoodwill dot com for thrift finds. So many good deals on there, especially on suiting.

    • Rachelellen :

      That may have been me!
      And… after just buying a house I may have no choice in the matter. Also! Eating nothing but a can of tuna every night for dinner may help w weight loss. Win-win-win!
      What about some form of pun version of “once bitten, twice shy” or another phrase like that? Polly penny and all that is too cutesy for me.

    • There’s a designer resale store in NY called Second Time Around, which I always thought was a cute name. Maybe you could do something similarly themed – secondchance or designerrescue?

      When I was in college, I wanted to open up my own shop of just really random things I loved and I was going to call it Junk in My Trunk and the logo would be a really cool looking trunk with all sorts of goodies inside. If I was going to have a blog, that’s what I’d call it.

    • Rachelellen :

      Secondhand News?

    • suggestion :

      Another Woman’s Treasure?

  14. Goyard question :

    My city got an LV store during the crash and now even surly high-schoolers all seem to have speedys and neverfulls. I have seen a few Goyard bags popping up and I like that they aren’t all logo-full. And I need a non-leather tote (before mine breaks my clavicle). Are they also staggeringly expensive? And where do you even get one? They are pretty and I have some gift-card money to throw at it.

    • Barney’s, Bergdorf, some Neiman Marcus, they have a retain store in SF, or in Europe. They don’t sell on line.

    • There’s only two freestanding Goyard boutiques in the states: San Francisco & Beverly Hills. They’re opening one in NYC but Bergdorf and Barney’s carry them, too (also in Boston).

      As far as price, they are more expensive than the LV Neverfull when you consider that the former is canvas and the latter is leather. However, I love that each bag is hand painted. The larger of the two totes is $1400 for the standard color scheme (black with black or brown handles). Other colors are more expensive. I went for the large size because the small one looked funny when I tried to carry it on my shoulder.

    • Yes to expensive. Staggeringly so, indeed.
      You can buy only buy them in Goyard shops (Paris/SF/etc.) and in Barneys/Bergdorf’s (in-store only). You could probably buy them online un-officially, but I wouldn’t.

      • Goyard question :

        OK — I guess I am not meant to have one (or: maybe I am meant to have a trip to Paris).

  15. Anyone from Dallas/living in Dallas that would like to share some insight? I’m thinking of looking for jobs there. Originally from the NE and I am quite northeastern in my ways, but I’m also looking for a change.


    • I’m in Dallas. What type of jobs? I’m a lawyer, so I mostly have legal market experience, but I could give some general advice.

      I love it here – low cost of living, easy to get to any point in the country, (surprisingly to some) great food…I highly recommend it.

      • Oh yes maybe I should have specified, I am a lawyer, but have also been considering consultant-type roles. What about culturally/people wise? friendly? easy to meet new people? I find the NE to be very closed-off. General living tidbits would also be fantastic!

        • I grew up and went to college in the NE and then moved to Texas for law school and have lived in Dallas since graduating. Dallas is a great city and there are a lot of transplants here. Of my circle of friends, probably 1/3 are native Texans. People are friendlier here and it is easy to meet people. Cost of living is better and, depending on where you live, your commute to work doesn’t have to be bad. I live 6 miles north of downtown and can be at my desk 15-20 minutes after I leave the house even during prime rush hour. As JJ said, lots of great restaurants. Also great shopping. Given the lifting of the Wright Amendment from Love Field, the air fare wars have already started.

        • Dallasites are very friendly. Get used to striking up conversations with people you stand next to in line, the table next to you at on a patio, etc. COL is very low compared to elsewhere, but housing prices are jumping, especially in certain pockets of the metro area. That said, still fairly reasonable housing costs.

          Dallas is the prettiest ugly town you’ll ever see (I say that will love, it’s all pretty flat, and right now, brown. But the spring/fall flowers a nice.) The other con is that in the summer, there is not much else to do besides find a pool, and go out to eat. Sometimes it feels like we start waiting for October by mid-June.

      • I think people here are very friendly and I know several northern transplants who have said that people in this area are much friendlier. I’ve only ever lived in the South, so I can’t truly compare based on that. I think Dallas has a ton of culture that people are not aware of. Our Arts District downtown is booming with museums, symphonies, outdoor concerts, etc. We have two young kids and there is always something to do with them on weekends.

        As for general living tidbits, it does get crazy hot here in the summer. The winters are usually very mild. Fall and spring are wonderful. It’s almost impossible to live here without a car. Some people can and rely on our public transit, but I know it’s difficult.

        As for the legal market, we also had a downturn a few years ago, but the hiring market seems to be picking up (based on the number of recruiter calls I receive per week). Most BigLaw firms have offices here, and there are several very good regional firms here. BigLaw generally pays NY market rates, but we don’t get the crazy bonuses that NY offices get. Regional firms may be market or slightly off, but most places here won’t expect you to bill more than 2000 hours. In my practice, I’m representing very large, sophisticated clients on precedent-setting work. So it’s not like you have to take a step back in the quality of your work/clients/practice when you come here, either.

    • I never lived in Dallas proper but in the DFW metroplex. I loved it – art, culture, food, shopping, and very reasonable cost of living. You must own a car, but the public transportation is always improving. Do it.

  16. Pray tell: Why does this sweater cost $368 – 760? It’s made of a blend of synthetic and natural materials, and those don’t include cashmere or alpaca. Great design; hope other designers are inspired to create more affordable versions.

  17. TTC grumpiness :

    I’m so mad at Kate Middleton.

    • She’s got really bad morning sickness again. I feel bad that she has the pressure to produce a “spare” so soon, considering that.

      • Playing DressUP :

        I know, right?! I was like, well, that was fast. And then I remembered: That’s her job. That’s her only job.

        • It didn’t seem all that fast to me, but maybe my perspective is skewed because a) my brother and I are 18 months apart and my two younger siblings are almost two years exactly and b) I’m not anywhere near thinking about starting a family yet. It seems like a lot of people have their children within that 1.5 – 2.5 span of each other…

      • TTC grumpiness :

        I know – I do feel bad for her and I do generally really admire her and how well she holds it all together, given how much pressure she’s under from so many directions. It’s just irrationally hard to see so many headlines about her second pregnancy when we’ve been trying (with only a miscarriage to show for it) since her first. I know it doesn’t make sense – just one of those “I wish morning sickness was my problem right now” kind of things. Good thing I have the internet to let me vent.

        • I definitely understand your POV, and did not mean to sound unsympathetic. Feel free to vent to me anytime.

        • Hugs to you.

        • @TTC grumpiness: I’ve been where you are. It sucks. Just be glad that you don’t have to deal with her (and the pregnancy) in real life, because that sucks more. HUGS.

    • History buff :

      She’s in the hospital and away from her son, so I feel bad for both of them and the new baby she’s carrying.

      Maybe I have binge-watched the Tudors too many times, but am so happy to be in a world where my miscarriage, being Rh negative, miscarriage, and child who has a low thyroid did not result in my being accused of being a witch, beheading, divorce, or various wars of religion and/or succession.

      +1 for being a commoner married to a commoner

      +1 million for modern maternal and fetal medicine

      • Actually I think she is not in the hospital; I think the doctors are treating her at home. That being said, the “acute morning sickness” sounds wretched, and being around your (ridiculously adorable but high-energy) toddler wouldn’t necessarily help.

        Also I want to eat Prince George’s cheeks.

      • I am rh negative – does it make it harder to get pregnant? I’ve never researched it and never ttc.

        • History buff :


          It has nothing to do with getting pregnant or the health of your first baby (I lost mine). For subsequent babies, if they are all fathered by someone RH+, your body can develop antibodies when you have an RH+ child and they will attack a subsequent RH+ fetus (which can totally be prevented by getting the rhogam shots, which is a HUGE reason why you should always be candid about whether you’ve ever been pregnant before with your OB, also if someone else may be the parent of the child you are carrying).

          At any rate, 100 years ago, I may never have had any children since I lost my first (with much blood exposure b/w us, sadly) and my husband is RH+. And my final child, if she hadn’t been done in by that, would have been severely retarted by untreated congenital hypothyroidism.

          In my dreams, I win the lottery, quit my job, and go to med school or to do research in maternal / fetal medicine b/c I find this stuff so interesting.

          If you read any of the history of Henry VIII’s first two wives, I wonder if there weren’t some RH problems in there somewhere.

        • deleted b/c History Buff replied first.

      • Yes! As someone who would have suffered miscarriage after miscarriage after miscarriage (wash, rinse, repeat) and never carried a baby to full term without modern medicine, I am so thankful to live today, having had 3 losses, but also having 3 successful pregnancies, than way in the past.

        To the OP – I completely understand where you are coming from. (((HUGS))) My issue was never getting pregnant, but staying that way, and seeing others seemingly have no issue with it all was really, really hard. Not to mention it seemed horribly unfair.

        • TTC grumpiness :

          I’m so sorry you had to go through that. That must have been so hard. One thing I’m realizing this year is that so much of this difficulty is so much more common than people realize. I think there’s a lot of hidden solidarity that we don’t know about until we start talking. Many of my friends are having their first or second babies and I love them and their kids – but I want that for us too.

          • Absolutely!! I had no idea how common miscarriages were until I had my first. It makes me sad that we think we can’t talk about it, because even though it was awful to go through, it really did help to know that other people had been there and had an idea what we were going through.

            I totally understand how tough it is to see others having babies, and it’s not that you want them to not have kids, but you want that for yourself as well. It’s harrd not to feel jealous, resentful and sometimes even angry – because it really isn’t fair. At all. I had many years that I hated Mother’s Day because it reminded me of what could have or should have been. And even now, when my boys (all born after our losses) are all getting so big (youngest turns 9 next week) I sometimes feel cheated out of the blissful, worry free pregnancies so many seem to have. And I know, outside looking in is never a good way to compare, but it’s still how I felt.

            I don’t know if it helps, but the pain really does fade with time. My 3rd miscarriage was Jan ’97, and while I do go days, weeks, sometimes months not even really thinking about it, I hope I always remember what it was like to suffer that loss, if only so I can have that solidarity with other women who go through similar things.

            Anyway ((HUGS)). If you (or anyone else going through something similar) ever want to email, I’ve made my name clickable for this post. I’d be happy to hear venting, offer commiseration, whatever. Sometimes all I wanted back then was to talk to someone who knew how I felt but wasn’t feeling it too (so close friends & family were out), and since it was before the internet was a big thing, I couldn’t find that. Something that I think is wonderful that the internet offers us is that solidarity.

            And this post is officially way longer than I intended it to be.

          • TTC grumpiness :

            This is extremely kind of you. Thank you.

    • Srsly? Get over yourself. How do you know it was easy? Did you visit her uterus? She doesn’t have morning sickness. She has hyperemesis gravidaeum, a serious illness that leaves her hospitalized from time to time and unable to do her job. And she gets random women on the internet feeling entitled to judge her life.

      Are you mad at friends and relatives who get pregnant? If so , there’s therapy for that. And step one isn’t rage at celebrities
      because you can.

      ETA: if what you mean is “all these news of the royal baby is making me sader than I thought it would because I’ve been trying since George was born” say that!

      • I think the OP was using a figure of speech and is not actually angry at Kate. No need to rush to judge her.

        • TTC grumpiness :

          Obviously I’m not ACTUALLY mad at Kate. Thanks, tesyaa. :)

          • I’m not TTC, but I do wish that DH and I were closer to doing so. Still have an obstacle or two in the way (should be resolved by the end of the year!!!), but I, too, felt like “really? so soon? Ugh, now she’ll have two and I have none to show for it.” *hugs* to you

          • TTC grumpiness :

            Yes exactly! We also had some life obstacles to get through first – and then once those were out of the way we were so hopeful that this would go right. It’s been tough. Good luck with clearing the obstacles in your path :)

        • Playing DressUP :

          What about the woman who is LITERALLY going to eat Prince George’s cheeks? We must contact MI-5 so that James Bond can protect him!

  18. Hive-

    I’ve been wanting to buy some Frye boots (comfort, style, quality) for a long time and am about to take the plunge. I love the short boots (vaguely combat-esque) like the Engineer or the 12L. But I am not sure I want to drop Frye $ on a style that may not have the longevity that taller boots have. Do you think short boots will be stylish for a few more seasons?

  19. Accessories Advice? :

    I wear a lot of plain dresses to work (black, grey, navy, sometimes multiple colors and/or a muted pattern), mostly sheaths, and I’m terrible at accessorising them. I’m looking for recs for any fun necklaces to brighten up my wardrobe a bit. I’ve also been experimenting with pumps other than basic black, but step by step…

    • Mint. Mint is my favorite neutral brightener, especially with navy. I have a mint infinity scarf that i got for six bucks at walmart (sorry labor movement) and it looks great with my 58 navy dresses (i have a problem).

    • I like coral as an accent color, or even as a basic color with neutral skirts. I just love coral, period (both the material and the color).

    • Check out Bauble Bar – the necklaces are cheap enough that you can buy a few and experiment with what styles of statement necklaces suit you best. Once you find your style, you can upgrade to a bit higher-quality of statement necklaces. FYI, there’s a sample sale on Gilt today of statement necklaces at really affordable prices – http://www.gilt.com/sale/women/cara-couture-jewelry-5429. Can’t speak to the quality, but there’s some cute stuff in there.

    • ExecAssist :

      Scarves! There are so many ways to tie them. A quick search on Pinterest should help.

  20. Here’s a weird question! Do you start dressing for fall (as in colors and not necessarily warmer items) after Labor Day, or do you not consider it fall until the fall equinox? Or do you not care about arbitrary dates and only change your dress for weather? I’ve been having a debate with a coworker and was curious to hear what other ladies think!

    Personally where I live it is still summer-ish weather (a tad cooler than summer but still quite warm during the day), but summer usually isn’t super hot. I started wearing fall colors last week because I think Labor Day is the end of summer. My coworker thinks I’ve jumped the gun!

    • I only change my wardrobe for the weather, period. Even when it’s still warm weather, though, the mornings are often cool in September where I live, so I’m probably not wearing gauzy tops (for example) quite as much.

      I find if I start wearing my winter clothes too early I get sick of them quicker; plus, when the afternoons warm up to 80 I feel silly in heavier sweaters and tights.

      • I totally agree it would be silly to switch to wool sweaters and tights when it’s still 80 degrees out! I just mean I start to wear darker jewel tones and typical “autumn” colors (now I’ve dated myself). Strangely enough, I also think it’s too early for me to wear tall boots yet!

        • I’m still not ready to give up on pastels entirely at this point. I find black and white/ivory is often a good choice for transitional weather – it can look fall-y on a cool day and still look summery on a warmer day.

      • Medic Maggie :

        This. I wear “summer” clothes till it is still cool during the day. I also feel odd about breaking out the tall boots this early, but other posters pointed me toward ankle boots (which I have yet to purchase) as a good option for in-between. I tend not to wear too many pastels anyway, as they wash me out. So, my normal wardrobe is fairly saturated. But, it just darkens during the fall/winter.

        Typical outfit for a day like today (end of summer-fall or end of spring-summer) is pants, blouse, flats & cardi. Pretty much any cooler day (or non-sunny/rainy) is when I’d ditch the flats for something with socks (a la booties). I reserve skirts & dresses for either hot-enough-for-shorts or cold-enough-for-tights. There is, for me, no in between. I reserve all of my brown trousers for fall/winter, but they’re all substantial weight, glen plaid/wooly-feeling & heavy. I stick to lighter colors or neutral gray/navy lightweight in the warmer weather.

        I always keep an extra cardi & fleece (with company embroidery) and a rain coat in my office, plus running shoes & boots for field visits.

    • I also dress for the weather. I live in the South, so it will still be “summer” weather for quite some time. Cooler weather in September is in the 80’s instead of the 90’s! I’ll definitely start carrying a light jacket/sweater with me and start phasing out some of my more summery sundresses, but other than that it’s business as usual. I saw someone wearing sheer black tights and booties in my office last week and it looked a little silly when it’s high 80’s outside.

    • I think you should always dress for the weather. That said, I get sick of colors after a while so what looks appealing to me in May (e.g., bright pink) looks boring to me in August. My solution is to incorporate fall and spring colors together. So, for instance, I’d wear a rust colored dress with a pale pink cardigan, or if it was still warm enough out a beige suit with a hunter green top.

      • (former) preg 3L :

        AIMS, you sound fabulously fashionable. Seriously. Where do you shop?

        • Aw, thanks! You just made my day! I’m actually on something of a shopping hiatus right now, but it’s usually mostly a mix of sales racks everywhere – I think H&M is one of the few places I’ll pay full price and that’s only because stuff disappears from there so fast. The pale pink cardigan is courtesy of Old Navy and the russet dress is D&G by way of Housing Works thrift store (I got it years ago and it’s like my greatest find ever).

      • hoola hoopa :

        Me, too. Fall weather won’t start here for another month, but I’m layering more and mixing summer/spring items with darker fall colors/accessories like deep purple suede flats, lightweight scarves, and denim jacket.

        • Baconpancakes :

          I’m in love with the Liberty-style printed bomber jacket I bought for fall, in dark greens and purples, so I just wear it with everything that I can possibly swing it with in season. Bright green, cobalt, yellow, white, etc. I’m waiting to pull out the suede shoes, though.

          • Link to jacket? I love Liberty prints but not big on button downs. (I’m primarily aware of J.Crew’s button downs for Liberty prints.)

          • Baconpancakes :

            It’s Liberty-style, in that it’s a small floralish print – Loft, actually!


    • Senior Attorney :

      Here in So Cal, September is often the hottest month of the year so nobody is dressing for fall! That said, I’m with AIMS in that I try to incorporate some fall colors in summer fabrics as summer drags on and on and on.

    • Equity's Darling :

      We have flurries of snow in our forecast today, so I’m wearing fall colours amd trying to console myself with a pumpkin spice latte and the fact that this white fluffy stuff will not stick.

      • Is it weird of me to say that I want to live where you live right now? Note, that come February, I will curse Pittsburgh and our ridiculous winter weather.

      • I’m still traumatized from last winter, so unlike Brit, I’m definitely glad I don’t live where you are.

        • Oh, last winter still has me in turmoil over the idea of anything under 0 degrees, but the idea of just a little bit of snow is nice…

      • Flurries! Yikes. At least here, even though it’s grey, it will only rain. But the trench coat has come out now….

      • Woah! Where are you?

        • Equity's Darling :

          Western Canada…it usually doesn’t snow this early, it’s usually October sometime, and it really will melt and we’ll have more sunny days in September, but that doesn’t make the “feels like -1C” any better right now. I think I’m mostly annoyed becase the last snowall was in May, so we only had 3 snow-free months this year.

      • Baconpancakes :

        Um, what??? I just pulled out my trench coat today, and felt myself going into shock.

      • Mountain Girl :

        Thursday we have snow in the forecast. That would be early for us actually.

    • newly in house :

      We’re still hitting the triple digits in my area (and will for quite some time), so I try to not pay attention to the calendar but instead to the temperature. But I’ll start at least wearing more autumnal colors soon – more so because I’m sick and tired of wearing the same stuff over and over again. So still hot weather appropriate, but a little darker in colors (i.e., a burgundy short-sleeved lace blouse with a dark pink pencil skirt, or a olive green patterned short sleeved silk blouse with navy skinny ankle pants).

    • It is still summer in Morocco, but I am wearing khaki booties and deep plum lipstick.
      To me september means autumn regardless of the heat.

  21. What are your favorite fashion blogs for casual wear? I’m in my mid-20s and while I don’t think I’m a fashion disaster for casual wear, I’m getting bored of my uniform of skirts or jeans and t-shirts and a scarf or necklace. Ideas?

    • WhoWhatWear has a million photos for ideas. Most of the looks could be achieved on a non-celebrity budget, and often they link to specific items below $100.

    • I like Angie at the You Look Fab blog.

  22. DTLA Corporette Meet-Up :

    Good morning everyone! SoCalAtty here reminding you that our next Downtown Los Angeles meet-up will be this Wednesday, September 10th at 5:30, at Public School 612.

    I sent out a reminder email, so if you didn’t get it please let me know and I will add you to the list. The email is dtlarette at gmail.

    See you there!

  23. Threadjack…..lately, I’ve been feeling so anti social and unfriendly/shy/awkward when I get into social situations. I’ve always felt slightly self conscious in social situations but it never showed and it was never something that prevented me from talking or meeting new people and generally being known as a friendly person. I’m usually bubbly, inquisitive (I like asking people questions about themselves) and I know how to “work a room”. I’ve been so off lately to the point of feeling like I don’t even know what to say or thinking that what I’m going to say sounds stupid. I don’t know if it’s relevant, but I’m about 7 weeks pregnant so I’m obviously not drinking. Drinking in social situations has always helped me loosen up but even when I wasn’t drinking, I still was never as self conscious as I have been lately. It’s gotten to the point where I’m seriously having anxiety about being in social situations – for example, I have an upcoming wedding where my husband is a groomsman and I really don’t know anyone else going and I’m freaking out about who I’m going to hang out with while he’s doing his groomsman thing.

    It’s concerning to me because I don’t know why I’m suddenly feeling like this. Has anyone else gone through a similar experience, or is anyone else super self conscious in social situations and if so, how do you force yourself out of the funk? I was trying to give myself a pep talk this morning but any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      Were you on any medications before that you came off of to TTC that could be causing it? It could just be hormones. Just as a random example though, I had some serious mood issues coming off steroids. It doesn’t have to be mood medications to cause a mood reaction.

    • Hormones can have a huge impact on your mood. Which is why pre-partum and post-partum depression are both a thing. I’d mention this to your doctor, not from an omg crisis standpoint but because it’s a change you’ve noticed and it’s good to have someone keeping an eye on you.

    • Diana Barry :

      Totally hormones. Plus if you are thinking about it more, you can freak yourself out about it more (ruminating over and over…). You may also be more tired than you think you are, which can make you have more anxiety – all of this happened to me when I was pregnant, especially during the first tri.

      • Agreed. And, especially in the first trimester, I always felt like my brain was in a fog and I couldn’t think clearly. I definitely noticed that it affected me in social situations – I wasn’t as quick or as bubbly (and I was exhausted) as I normally was.

    • I can’t help on the pregnancy/hormone topic, but wish you the best in figuring out what’s going on and feeling better. You didn’t ask but specifically for the wedding, the other groomsmen/bridesmaids may have dates who also don’t know anyone. Buddy up with them while the wedding party is doing their thing! My SO was a groomsman in a wedding where the only people I knew were also in the wedding party. Similar to you, I was worried I’d be alone and bored but I spent a good part of the day chatting with another groomsman’s date who didn’t know anyone and ended up having a lovely time.

  24. (former) preg 3L :

    Ugh, why am I getting ads that make noise on thiss!te?

  25. Would love to see a cheaper version of this sweater (with the same sort of empire-esque details). Any ideas?

  26. Curious what you guys think: my husband is dying to get a puppy but I would like to go on a mini-vacation that’s semi-planned for a special occasion in October. We’d be away for roughly 5 days. I am not opposed to the puppy in general as I like animals and we’ve been talking about it for a while, but I would not get one on my own; this is definitely a HIM idea. So here’s the problem: he found a puppy that’s about 8-9 weeks old now that he really wants. Puppy is ready to go. But I don’t think it’s right to get a baby dog and then abandon him when he’s basically 12-14 weeks. Obviously we wouldn’t be abandoning him, he’d stay with family, but it still strikes me as wrong. Am I off-base about this? Is it not a big deal for the dog? Is it not a huge burden for whoever is taking care of him? I don’t have a lot of puppy experience here so would love to hear from experienced dog owners.
    FWIW: I don’t think I want to wait until the dog is 14 weeks to get him. If we get him, I want to get him sooner than later.

work fashion blog press mentions