Thursday’s Workwear Report: Scallop Trim Collar Sweater
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I love the look of a collar underneath a sweater, but I hate the bulky feeling of wearing too many layers. This sweater from Halogen features a sweet scallop-trim collar without the extra shirt underneath.
I would pair this with a midi skirt while the weather is still warm and layer it under a blazer when it gets a bit cooler. (And for those of you who share my aversion to excess layers, I wear this faux collar under sweaters all the time.)
The sweater is $59 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XXS-XXL. It also comes in hickory brown.
Sales of note for 9/4 (Happy Labor Day!):
- Nordstrom – End of season clearance, up to 50% off
- Anine Bing – Archive sale, up to 70% off select styles, online only
- Ann Taylor – 30% off you purchase, including new arrivals – $50 off when you spend $200. Readers love this easycare blouse and this blazer that makes a great separate.
- Anthropologie – 40% off sale! The reader favorite wide leg pants are on sale for as low as $86, including the pants I posted last week!
- Athleta – Up to 60% off + extra 30% off sale; readers love these pants
- Boden – 20% off everything – readers love these dresses, and their double-layer line of tees
- CVS – Epic beauty sale, $10 off when you spend $30 (Walmart is having its “Beauty Event” as well right now!)
- The Fold – 20% off, limited time only
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off all stores and sitewide, PLUS extra 20% off orders over $125
- J.McLaughlin – Extra 40% off sale (ending soon)
- Lilysilk – Anniversary sale, save up to 70% (ending soon)
- Me & Em – Sale! Up to 60% off (new lines just added, exclusively online)
- M.M.LaFleur – Labor Day Sale Event, save sitewide! (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off on other items)
- Nordstrom Rack – Thru September 7: Extra 25% off clearance! Nice selection of Vince, Veronica Beard, Reiss and Rag & Bone, a ton of affordable work dresses from Calvin Klein, Maggy London, Eliza J, and Donna Morgan
- Sarah Flint – 20% off sitewide
- Talbots – Ends 9/4: 25-40% off wear-now styles
- Theory – End of season sale is on!
My over 15 year old dishwasher stopped working last night. No idea on what the issue is, but I doubt it makes sense to have a repairman out given its age. So I’ll be in the market for a new dishwasher. Any recommendations for brands? I cant afford top end, just want something basic that won’t break.
We loved and now miss our Bosch with the cutlery tray.
I love this one too. I think they might have made some changes to the model since I bought it a few years ago (since it was Wirecutter’s top pick then and is not anymore) but I’ve been really happy with it.
We replaced our ancient dishwasher with an LG from the local big box store a few years ago an it has been decent, other than a cosmetic piece of trim that I have had to superglue back in place several times. We had spacing constraints and it was the only one we could find whose specs fit within the existing opening and did not require us to remove countertops to install it.
Do go for something with a stainless steel interior; it is more efficient than a plastic interior lining. Other than that, fewer bells and whistles mean fewer things to break.
+1 to stainless interior. May as well reduce microplastics exposure too.
Yes, stainless interior is the way.
My Amana is ancient, and it’s starting to have some issues. I’ve been wondering since this one washes dishes great and lived forever if I should get another Amana, or whether I’ll be disappointed by the newer machines.
Honestly I should probably try to DIY the issues for now (sometimes the door sticks, and occasionally the tray that contains the detergent jams and never opens during the cycle). It still works perfectly otherwise; it’s just so old that there’s physical wear and tear at this point.
My parents installed 2 Amana dishwashers when they built a house in 1989. They sold the house in 2010, and those things were working perfectly. The house sold again in 2019, and the dishwashers were in the listing pictures. I haven’t thought about those dishwashers in a long time, but you just gave me some great memories this morning.
I had a 1960s Kitchenaid that lasted until 2021 only because the racked rusted out and I couldn’t find replacements for my exact model. I was even able to sell it for parts for $100 since it’s so coveted by vintage appliance people! It was an absolute beast and the door closed with such a satisfying latch. They really, really don’t make them like they used to.
The repair guy for us recommended either Whirlpool or Amana.
Good to know; thank you!
IME, Bosch is good if you can’t go for a Miele.
I think of those both as higher end (and also as paying premium for “insulation”).
I am a Bosch evangelist I love mine.
We had an LG die after about 10 years and got a Bosch and hated it – nothing but problems and issues, we had repair people out to our house constantly and after a couple of years it died for good. We went back to LG and are now several years in with no major issues. I don’t understand how Bosch has a good reputation. The only positive thing I can say about it is that it was very quiet.
It doesn’t anymore. Check any R3ddit board related to appliances.
Yeah I had a 13 year old Bosch that was great, but in this house my 2.5 year old Bosch 800 series had the motherboard die and it would have cost $800+ to repair it. It wasn’t worth repairing at that point so I got a GE – it’s almost as quiet, I think it dries better, and it does have a cutlery tray. And yes, the Reddit appliance boards are bemoaning the drop in quality.
I would say that it’s age is actually in favour of it being repairable.
Same here. I’ve had success just troubleshooting and googling the model plus the issue. Sometimes it’s a quick 10 minute fix after watching a tutorial video.
This x 100
I would get a quote for a repair first too.
I do like to repair my appliances, but a 15 year old dishwasher is not from the era where quality was high enough that it makes sense to try to source parts and keep it going as they all begin to wear out. Perhaps google the issue to see if it is a DIY repair within your skill set, but I would not pay for a diagnostic service call. By the time you pay for that, add in the cost of parts and the repair itself, a new machine becomes much more reasonable.
I both agree and don’t agree. I think a good machine made in 2010-2015 is probably of higher quality than a similarly priced machine today. A cheapy one, maybe not. But anything okay made before the “smart” appliance age is going to be more repairable than current ones until we get dumb appliances back.
Bosch
How old are the rest of your appliances? I’d look at whatever else you may need to replace and get a consistent look. When ours started going, I did the cafe line and it was a mini facelift for the kitchen.
We just replaced ours last week with a Whirlpool. It’s fine, quiet, gets the job done. Repair guy cost $150 to tell us the GE one was beyond repair! He recommended Whirlpool for our replacement.
We have a KitchenAid- we loved it so much at our last house, we installed it on the first day in our new house. It’s silent, it cleans dishes that haven’t been rinsed off (side eye, teenagers), and has the top rack for utensils and small items. I would shout from the rooftops how good this is. Link below- good timing with Labor Day sales at big box stores
https://www.homedepot.com/p/KitchenAid-24-in-Top-Control-Built-In-Tall-Tub-44-dBA-Dishwasher-in-PrintShield-Stainless-Steel-360-Jets-3rd-Rack-ProDry-System-KDPS624SPS/336625592#overlay
We have this one too and it’s awesome. The middle rack is big enough for two kitchenaid stand mixer bowls on the right side.
We got a Kitchen Aid to replace our 20+ year old dishwasher and have been very happy with it. It’s so much quieter!
We sprung for a Miele and I’m so glad we did! Definitely worth the additional cost.
I’m so grateful to the Boston ‘Rettes who recommended I move my college daughter out in two steps this week, and specifically the ‘Rette who recommended Stairhoppers. (They were excellent in every way.) You’ve saved me from more agita than I can imagine.
I LOVE this board!
Let’s all give a shout out to helpful recs from here. I recently booked a getaway on Costco Travel because someone here said it was great and it was! had a lovely last minute getaway. Was a great way to hone in on some good options.
Awesome, thanks for the update!
I made a mistake at work which is easily fixable and really not big deal in the long run…but ugh, I hate this feeling, and I hate that people (my boss) might be mad at me about it. How do you stop yourself from spiraling in these kinds of situations?
Everyone makes mistakes. At work its not even a mistake many times, its just part of the deal. Things happen and you deal with them. Problems come up and you solve them. Sometimes it comes from a person, a system, outside forces, kinda doesn’t matter.
Trite but more useful than it might sound: ask yourself how your mediocre male colleagues handle such situations.
Ha!! Well, they probably wouldn’t give a shit at all, so good point.
Exactly! ;-)
Hmmm, good point!
I used to have a scribbled post-it note on my desk “Did anyone die? Did anyone nearly die? We’re not saving babies around here…”
Now I tell my students that “everything is fixable if you tell me what is going on. It might be the preferred fix, but it is fixable.”
Someone on my team royally effed up and caused the death of an endangered animal. We all side eyed him for a long time. (Yes I consider the life of an animal valuable especially if it’s only one of a handful left in existence).
I also consider it valuable and often wonder how people whose jobs entail saving lifes deal with the stress. Does the routine builds your confidence? Are there more checks you rely on?
I was a tax attorney and constantly repeated to myself that despite the huge amounts of money envolved, no one would die for my mistakes, I’m not a heart surgeon.
And at least the heart surgeons get years and years of training, and money and societal respect. EMTs are often in that position and are paid pennies (and given a lot less deference).
I often think that a job I could never do is ambulance driver. I hate driving normally, imagine having to criss cross traffic, while a dying person is on the back, being taken care by your colleague who is not wearing a seatbelt. You get to speed and break traffic laws, but need to make sure the other drivers aquiesce.
Surprinsingly, I changed fields, and now my clients livelyhoods are often on the line, but I’m not more stressed I guess I trust myself. Dangerous.
Weel, this was a pointless, sorry OP.
Every time I make a brain glitch mistake I’m glad I’m not a pharmacy tech.
IF YOU TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON. In my experience, the very worst outcomes aren’t because of the mistakes, they’re because people tried to cover up the mistakes.
Take a walk. When I hit a moment where I can break away, I do physically. Getting outside for some deep breaths always helps me feel a little more centered when this exact kind of thing pops up!
I’ve asked myself, “If I were the boss and I had an employee who had made this mistake, how would I hope the employee responded?” I’d want the employee to acknowledge it and do what it took to fix it and learn from it for the future. I’d absolutely not want the employee to spiral about it for days and days, to stay awake at night ruminating about it, and to start to lose confidence over it. Why would I want an employee to go to all that trauma about a simple work mistake? I wouldn’t. I’d simply want them to deal with it, learn what there is to be learned, and move on.
+1. The #1 thing I don’t like is when employees don’t acknowledge the mistake when you point it out. Say you messed up and fix it, then leave it behind you.
Thank you. That’s exactly what I did when I spoke to them this morning and everything is fine.
Good. My only advice to add is to engage in some sort of exercise to help your body process the stress. Even a brisk walk can help.
I can not today. I asked one of my subordinates to make some edits to a document, on slack I gave some points for amendment and elements to add. Tell me why when I opened the document my subordinate literally copy and pasted my slack messages.
Are they still working on it? They might have pasted the comments as a reminder/so they don’t have to go back and forth between the document and slack.
No. They told me they were done, hence why I opened the doc.
Ugh, girl that’s frustrating. Been there, always hate it.
Ugh, that is just laziness.
Ugh! I hope this is a blip for them and not a pattern and that they are not defensive when you address it with them.
LOL, it depends on the age. My direct reports are all on the younger side and are ALWAYS super defensive. But I figure until work starts to majorly humble you, everyone is this way and it’s a part of professional growing pains.
I was super defensive when I was young. Then I learned…
To the person who was awaiting the results of a brain scan a few weeks ago, I’ve been thinking about you and hope all is well.
yes, sending you good thoughts
My department at work decided today is “college football day” and to wear your favorite college/college sports apparel, but alas I am the only one actually wearing a football jersey.
The rest of your department is lame, and you are in the wrong state. My home state of Alabama has state-wide college colors day tomorrow, so declared by the governor, which seems an appropriate way to ring in college football season.
My northern Big 10 state certainly cannot compete with southern football spirit!
Which, to me, is crazy, because it is too damn hot down here. It has been too damn hot down here. I am several states north of Alabama and it is too hot. I cannot imagine football and band players out in this — football makes sense in crusty New England college towns and Green Bay and places with winter.
IT IS TOO DAMN HOT here too. And it HAS BEEN too damn hot for too damn long. And it’s not going to relent anytime soon, which is a damn shame.
That is all.
And that’s the most swearing I’ve done in two sentences in a long, long time.
Well, it’s a trade-off. Our September and October games have lovely weather, but we have a pretty high chance of snow or freezing cold temperatures by November/December and attending a football game in a foot of snow is as weird or weirder to me than attending games in 95 degree heat. In an ideal world northern and southern teams should have different seasons but the fact that they need to play teams from different regions makes that complicated.
I went to a small college without a D1 football team; I know what I loser right? I kind of hate that it’s expected we all went to big schools AND have these expensive jerseys laying around. Maybe if you’re from Alabama like the poster below but here in New York? Come on.
Same. But I got to roll into games with my student ID and past the alumni out tailgating. I didn’t get how much of a production it is when it gets to big-school D1 levels. I get to be agnostic in the office in the fall and also for basketball (actually bigger where I live, plus it seems to go on all week).
I feel like football calls for somewhat of an actual fall. I guess that is why people wear school colored floaty dresses to games — it’s too hot for pants and sweating isn’t cute.
I went to a school where our only D1 sport was hockey, but married into midwestern football family. My husband has like 5 jerseys from over the years so I wear whichever one I want :)
Every year I go to homecoming and it is too hot for my one item of school gear that is in good repair.
This is about pro football, not college, but kind of funny. I’m not into football at all, but my first job we were encouraged to wear jerseys or the local NFL team colors on certain days during the season. I forgot all about this and by pure coincidence showed up head to toe in team colors one “team spirit” day. My very lovely boss said, oh I had no idea you were such a fan! He then gave me two tickets to a game from his season passes. It was really sweet. I took a football loving friend with me. It was fun, but still not my thing.
That’s so fun!!!
Oh no!
I’ve owned dogs but never a puppy. We put our 13 year old girl down in February and the pressure is mounting with the kids to get a new dog. DH and I want one too.
This is not a rescue vs adopt question, so please refrain. All prior dogs have been rescues in case that wins me any points…
We are considering a doodle breed of some kind for a host of reasons, and it looks like from a breeder and as a puppy is our most viable route. I have several recommendations for reputable breeders in my area. My question: what do I need to know about training a puppy? Is this something that will upend my life? My youngest is just about to get out of diapers and is (thank god) more independent. I feel like I’d be adding an infant all over again if we add a puppy. All prior dogs rescued were ~1 and crate trained so I’ve missed this phase.
And, not to be lazy or irresponsible, but is this something I can throw money at if we have a really hard time? I know there are like puppy boot camps out there for training…. This is all new. Open go any/ all resources or perspectives! People have puppies all the time… we should be able to figure this out??!? But it also seems so daunting with jobs and schedules, etc.
Most people want a doodle for all the reasons that a poodle is a good fit. I ‘d really recommend that you look into poodles. Doodles have a lot of neuroticism, no matter what the breeder is selling you. Almost no doodle breeders are reputable. But yes, you can throw money at it in terms of training. Potty training and crate training are harder because they need to be at your house.
Yes poodles are great! I don’t know why they have a weird reputation, they are so sweet and smart.
Sweet, smart, and sporty!
And they don’t have to look like “poodles” if you don’t groom them that way. They actually get beautifully shaggy if you just let their fur grow a bit.
Yeah, I side-eye the folks who get doodles. Every single doodle I’ve ever met is SO neurotic, and a lot of the “good reasons” to get a doodle are either myths, genetic crap shoots, or something you could get from a bunch of other breeds.
We love ours and have none of these issues.
Agree with all these points
I agree that poodles are amazing. However, here in the US poodles have often been overbred and they are often not well tempered or easily trained. I looked at many poodle breeders 15 years ago and was left horrified.
I would look at a poodle breeder in Germany or UK and fly them over as a puppy. Airlines such as Air France and KLM will allow you to have them in a carrier under your seat. Dont fly from the UK as the rules are ridiculous. If you go with a UK breeder you can take your dog in the train to Paris or Amsterdam (KLM) on their pet passport.
I am a standard poodle person and would highly recommend the breed. As others have mentioned, doodles have a lot of issues. Even the inventor of doodles expressed regret in creating the breed as they are often not properly screened for health issues and because many people falsely assume they are 100% hypoallergenic.
If you must have a doodle, I highly recommend looking at your local poodle rescue as they often have a lot of doodles of varying ages. Even the 6 month old dogs at our local poodle rescue will be fully housetrained before being adopted.
I was a non-working widow with three little kids when we got our puppy and it was tough. If you’re both working full time out of the home it’s going to be really tough. Two of my friends basically worked from home constantly for a couple months when they each got a new puppy. Are you close enough to drive home a couple times a day? How many hours a day are you normally out of the house? Can you tradeoff with your partner? There are live-in puppy bootcamps near me, but you a: have to wait until they’ve had all their shots, and b: it just seems depressing.
Crate train from the start, and keep the puppy on a leash near you any time they are out of the crate in the house until you trust the puppy will tell you when they need to go outside. Plan on learning how to redirect puppy chewing energy into acceptable paths, and learning how to train your puppy to behave the way you expect. Plan on getting up to let them out in the night for a while, and plan on ignoring middle of the night noisy protests about wanting to play or eat or be free from the crate until morning. You need the training just as much as the dog does. Don’t fall for a puppy boot camp scenario where you somehow send the dog off and it comes back a model citizen while you are still green and have no idea how to interact with a trained dog. If the idea of all of this is too daunting, don’t get a puppy.
We just did this with a doodle, she’s 1.5 now. It’s not that bad, the biggest things are just more energy than you’re used to after having a senior dog and more accidents in the house while they potty train. Most of the issue is just frustration because you had a dog who got all that. They’re wonderful and it’s amazing having a dog from day one – we previously always had rescues too and honestly this is 1000x easier all across every category.
PS – we did puppy class and a lot of socialization, which is just bringing the puppy everywhere in a sling before they get all their shots so they aren’t scared of the world and get exposure to all kinds of situations. They small and easy at that stage.
Thanks for this comment. My most recent girl had intense anxiety, wasn’t social with other dogs, was amazing with the kids, but hated people. And we loved her to death. Putting her down was a top 3 saddest day of my life. But.. I say a little shamefully… she was a very hard dog to own, couldn’t go to doggie day care or group overnight boarding, didn’t trust her around anyone but my nuclear family. We had one dog walker that we relied on and if she wasn’t available, our pup wouldn’t go with anyone else. I think that she had a very sad and traumatic first year of life before we got her, and Im so, so glad we did. We tried so much to help her but it just didn’t work.
I know nothing is guaranteed – I don’t need that lecture – but we’re optimistic that it may be a little easier long term if we get a dog from a breeder we know and trust. So, what you’ve described really resonates and I think until you’ve had a tough pup, one might not fully get it.
Yep, our rescues were sooooo hard on all these front too and I’ll honestly never go back. We donate a to rescues but won’t take that on again.
🙄
No one is obligated to adopt a shelter dog. And it’s fair to want a non shedding dog. Personally every bernedoodle I’ve met is psychotic but OP can get whatever pet she wants.
No one is obligated to get a shelter dog, true, but allowing breeders to just persist when there are existing dogs who need homes is shameful. I don’t really judge OP, but loathe breeders.
There are responsible breeders out there, too. Not every dog comes from a puppy mill.
It’s okay to want dogs to be well bred and born into happy homes, and to want healthy and happy genetics to be preserved into the future.
It’s not like there are landrace dog breeds here. Let’s not put backyard breeders, neglected roaming dogs, and dog fighters in charge of the future of the domestic dog.
I know it’s hard to avoid puppy mills, but it can be done.
Healthy and happy genetics—you sound delusional.
She doesn’t, actually, and pretending that all dogs are the same helps no one.
Ok, but they’re already born and deserve love and care. People who defend breeders are selfish and immoral.
But it is also selfish and immoral to make no plan for the future of the breed. Where do you want dogs to be generations from now? It would be irresponsible for humans to put less thought and effort into a domestic species they created than a zoologist puts into a species preservation plan for a totally wild animal.
Who cares about the future of the breed? Spay and neuter your pets and treat each dog like the gift that they are. Breed-specific wishlists are gross.
Dogs wouldn’t exist now if no one had ever cared about them existing. They exist no thanks to people who think like you.
Doodles are mutts. You have no idea what’s gone in to them or their last three or four generations. I prefer true mutts or actual breeds.
I would be open to adopting a shelter dog (I have a shelter cat) if they ever, and I mean ever, had any other breed besides pit and Chihuahua mixes. I make no apologies for refusing to entertain a pit bull around my children. There are other breed-specific rescues around, but they have very onerous requirements and sometimes seem like they don’t actually want dogs to go to nice homes.
I had the same experience with some rescues in my area, it was really disappointing and I ended up giving up. If I decide to get a dog again I will only go to a rescue, but they made the process really hard.
Peoples main issue with Pitt bulls is that they are stronger than other dogs. They otherwise have the same temperament as other sweet dogs. I find campaigns against them to be abhorrent. All they did was be born and je rks want to label them as monsters. They are just creatures like any other.
I have no issue with the many sweet pitties I’ve known.
I absolutely have an issue with the bleeding heart rescue pit owners who excuse their dog’s out of line behavior based on their failed rehabilitations.
No my main issue with pit bulls is that they fatally attack humans far more than they should given their share of the dog population – disagree all you want but the bodies don’t lie.
Ok? My cat would have murdered me many times over if his size allowed it.
I have had 6 rescue dogs over my adult life. None were pit bulls and none were chihuahuas. 4 were strongly likely to be poodle mixes. The dogs are available, if one is patient and a bit flexible.
OP here. FWIW my last pup, who as I noted was a rescue, was a pit mix. She was the sweetest. This sub thread has taken on a life of its own but I’m not anti pit!
Your cat could eff you up now if he actually wanted to. He doesn’t.
There are plenty of dog breeds that are not available in shelters.
I’m not anti pit or anti shelter, but I didn’t want to adopt a pit because of the added hassle. We needed a family dog and that breed is banned from so many things that it made it hard to consider. Same with huskies though fwiw :).
Also, people are allergic to dogs and it’s okay to want to make sure that you know exactly what type of dog you are getting so you’re not allergic
Maybe that person shouldn’t have pets though, because allergies aren’t so easy to pinpoint and it might be that you make a mistake about what you are allergic to. Then what?
Literally any reputable breeder or rescue would take the dog back in that scenario. If they won’t, you’re dealing with a puppy mill or a backyard breeder.
Do you think there just should be no specific breeds of dogs? I believe there are breeds and characteristics worth preserving. And while I do not have children, my neighbors do, and I didn’t want an unknown quantity around them. There are responsible breeders and irresponsible ones, just like any area of life. It’s on the prospective owner to find that out.
Actually, yes. Pure breed fanatics are a real problem.
I realize that we can all make fun of people whose neurotic trainwreck dogs win ribbons at beauty pageants.
But there are many dog breeds whose loss would be a loss to the world. And it’s not always a kindness to take a working dog unsuited to the house pet life and wheedle and drug them into it. Breeds matter.
Most “working dogs” I know are actually some kind of mutt. It’s not a purebred border collie, it’s a heeler/idaho shag/border collie mush. I’ve seen so many people mixing up german pointers and labradors and spaniels for their hunting dogs. I think that’s a much much healthier way to handle dog breeding than closed stud books.
They are carefully bred though, and that is what matters! Keeping meaningful records about health, temperament, and performance matters a lot more than the way the AKC does things.
I think it’s just harder to find the people who are responsibly breeding companion animals, since so many people are just in it to make a sale (the AKC has been very puppymill friendly over the years), or are deluded by sentiment. Or “purity” ideology!
Go touch grass or something.
I don’t have kids, but have trained 4 puppies. thoughts…
We don’t take our puppies home until at least 12 weeks, if not a little later. While puppies are so cute at 8 weeks, that’s too early IMO. I think this really helps with the puppy nipping since the dog-mom starts to train them not to nip.
The puppy nipping is a thing and you have to stay on them and consistently tell them no, tap their nose, hold their mouth closed consistently every single time from the beginning. If you do it right away they figure out pretty fast not to nip, which you definitely need since puppy nipping turns into dog biting. So consistency is so important there.
Potty training – What is your schedule realistically like? Do either of you work from home or can take the dog with you? I do think that for puppies, you need to be around to consistently take them out often and watch them.
If your schedule isn’t that and you mention throwing money at it – can see if you can get a dog sitter during the days for a while who will work with the puppy and/or come over throughout the day? It would be the best to have them in your house so it’s less confusing to the puppy. I don’t think you can just do dog day care since I assume they wouldn’t potty train the puppy, I could be wrong though…
You do need time to work with them or to do the puppy boot camp with them. The puppy boot camp classes I did though was more for skills (leash, sit, stay) and not at all for potty training. I did a puppy boot camp with our first puppy and it was basically more owner training than puppy training, which was still very valuable since it gave me skills to train the dogs since I’m the one with them all the time. I have a friend who sent away the dog to a puppy boot camp and it didn’t come with owner-required training, and it didn’t seem to work as well. I was really surprised they didn’t make the owners come and work with the dog, since the way the owner works with the dog is a minimum 50% of the behavior of a dog.
One last thought: if you can get a golden-doodle I highly recommend a breed with golden retriever in it. I am admittedly biased since we have had two golden retrievers and then two golden retriever-cocker spaniel mixes, but comparatively to other dogs breeds that I’ve watched close family raise, our dogs seem so much easier to train since they really want to please you. The doodle part of them will get you a smart dog, but the golden retriever part will get you a smart dog that wants to figure out what makes you happy. Granted, the hair is a mess and you slowly eliminate black pants from your wardrobe…lol.
I second the recommendation for a breed that is motivated to please humans. I did 4-H dog obedience growing up. The least trainable dogs in the group were always the poodles and the cocker spaniels.
I can believe that. After having two golden retrievers who died young (such a hard gene pool for the purebreds), we wanted to get a mix of genes so we switched to the golden retriever cocker spaniels. It’s so interesting how much difference the cocker spaniel being in there makes. Our dogs are still very trainable, but the indifference of the cocker comes out. They’re wayyyyyyy less clingy and don’t have to be in the same room as us all the time, which is so wild after years of golden magnets. It’s subtle since they still have the golden in them, but definitely there and has been very interesting.
Also I have been very close to family who keeps getting Rottweiler puppies, another family who insists on pit bull mixes. Both families definitely have a point that much of the breed stereotyping is because of bad owners – I do not disagree. However I can also see very clearly that those pups are sooooo much harder to train than my dogs were.
A working breed mix can actually get you similar “driven-to-please” qualities. I once met a whippet/border collie mix and she was kinda weird looking but had the most amazing personality – the border collie drive to work with and stay close to their person helped keep the sight hound prey drive in check, and the hound dog couch potato-ness tempered the border collie neuroticism/work drive really well. Certainly a happy accident.
Working breed dogs are phenomenal animals, although they are often so smart and driven that they require a lot of work to creatively harness of all that energy and intelligence. People who want to farm out puppy training to a boot camp are not a good fit for those types of dogs.
Consider a Bichon Frise – smaller, still nonshedding, less high energy, more content (i.e. a bit less intelligent so they get into less trouble).
You have gotten excellent advice, and I will not repeat it. I would suggest that in addition to crate training (which is absolutely key, especially for potty training if you work outside the house) teach your children from the very beginning that the crate is the dog’s space and that they should never bother the dog when it is in its crate. It helps prevent so many issues when a dog can get away from overzealous children when it needs to.
Our family dog when my daughter was living at home was a standard poodle, and he was the bestest, best boy to have ever bested in the history of best boys. I have never had a doodle, but I’m wishing you the best of luck!
I would not get a puppy. I don’t envy the lives of the people I know who have them – they seem very stressed and like their days are revolving around the puppy’s needs to an extent that makes people unhappy. Their small talk revolves around accidents and crate training. I would get a dog that’s 2-3.
I couldn’t handle a puppy and had to give it back to its foster (who wanted her so it was a win win) and I don’t even have children.
OP I’d tread carefully!
It’s just a few months though and you avoid life long behavioral issues by starting with a puppy. Sometimes small talk is just that.
There are definitely breeders who sell ‘finished’ dogs – older puppies that are crate trained, potty trained, know a few commands, and walk on a leash. We did that when we got our current dog – with a toddler and baby I wasn’t willing to risk a rescue and didn’t have the time to manage potty training another creature.
We’ve done puppies (including a doodle) and rescues. Leaving aside any ethical issues, the easiest dogs have been rescues that were fostered in someone’s home and adopted around the 2-3 year mark. Basically, you knew what you were getting – good and bad.
The doodle puppy was an experience. The amount of havoc that an intelligent, strong big dog can wreck when they escape (forcibly break) their crate for two hours is truly outstanding. Came home to the puppy sitting in the sofa, like had chewed through the sofa, sitting on the floor with her head sticking up where the cushions should be. It’s like a toddler with the destructive force of a drunk frat boy. But, don’t let me dissuade you, she is the absolute best dog now, the puppy years are just ROUGH.
oof you just took me back! Different breed, but our golden-cocker forcibly broke/escaped from his metal crate at around 6-9ish months. He was good, no accidents or damage, and just greeted us at the door. We were so confused, and cue us being like HOW did you do that?? He wasn’t even that big or strong – just a 45-50 lb pup that decided he was done with his crate. We tried a few more times, but he was done…we would have made him stick out the crate (probably would have gotten a plastic enclosed one for safety) but he was very good with no issues other than breaking out of the crate.
I always say dogs are wonderful but puppies are aholes. Adorable ones, yes, but they don’t know what they don’t know and want to get into everything. In my experience around the 9 month mark a switch flips and they become lovely.
Potty training a puppy is tough. Depending on how old they are when you get them, you may need to take them out every couple of hours. My dog never used a pee pad and thought it was a fun toy to shred. There’s also a lot of energy to contend with and those sharp puppy teeth. I don’t know your kids’ ages, but I can’t imagine adopting a puppy with my 6 year old because I feel like he would likely wind up a puppy and want to run with it and actively confuse any training we are attempting.
Good luck!
If possible look for a doodle that is the product of a golden and a poodle. Not a doodle that is the product of doodles. That’s when they start having health issues.
+ 1 – our first pup was a rescue, but we have a 4 year old F1 doodle and he is honestly the best dog I’ve ever had. Much like having a great child, he literally gives me the blind belief that I could have 100 dogs (dear reader, I could not… I don’t think we could even have 2). But he is gentle, super smart, loyal, easy to walk, mellow, and doesn’t bark. He doesn’t shed. His only issue is having skin allergies common to poodles, so he licks his feet a lot and we have to give him allergy meds.
Same exactly, we had a rescue who was tough – hated people besides us and hated other dogs so it was so hard dealing with life. We loved her but got a doodle and she’s the best dog we’ve ever had too. Amazing temperament, great personality, sweet and easy. People can side eye all they want but there’s a reason they’re popular.
My parents got a cavapoo who was an older puppy (6 mos.) that was a semi-rescue and it worked out really well. We’d had a dachshund that was never really housebroken but this new dog is great at asking to go out.
We were in your same position with slightly older kids. Ultimately, we decided we couldn’t deal with a puppy and we did a foster to adopt.
With young kids, I just…couldn’t deal with the toddler-ness of it all. That said, your actual question: friends of ours got a puppy when we got our rescue. They were able to throw money at training by working with the breeder who is fairly local (~2 hours away) to do board-and- train on various occasions during the first 6-9 months. I think they even picked the puppy up four weeks later than they were otherwise to pick it up and the breeder did training for them.
I have an 8 month old golden and 2 kids in elementary school. Puppy blues are real! I felt like I had postpartum depression again. It’s a lot of work and honestly although I love her and enjoy taking her on walks, the bad times are pretty bad. In hindsight I would have gotten an older dog and I don’t think I will ever get a puppy again. Although I am speaking from the trenches here, so take that into consideration. She was just spayed too which was a whole other thing.
I used to like the Uniqlo merino sweaters about 10 years ago, but then they started doing dolman sleeve styles that didn’t work for me and I forgot about them. It looks like they might have more original styles these days. However, I bought a shirt recently and had to size way up to the top of their line (XXL, which I don’t wear in any other brands) and it’s still snug, so I’m wondering if the sweaters are the same. Can anyone comment?
The Uniqlo merino blend sweaters I bought last year are very thin and developed holes everywhere. I have lots of wool and cashmere but have never experienced this before.
They ran true to size however. I did not need to size up.
Even 10 years ago my Uniqlo merino developed lots of holes. However, the darker colors lasted much better than the light colors, which developed holes almost immediately. I assume whatever bleaching process was needed to produce pale colored wool weakened the fibers.
I am the poster above who noted that my recent Uniqlo sweaters developed holes very quickly. All of mine were dark colors, FWIW.
I’m a UK 12 (US 8?) and would get a women’s L or XL or men’s L in Uniqlo merino.
The only Uniqlo that seems to be tts for me is their Comptoir des Cottonnieres collaborations. Everything else is made for another bodytype. They do have a wool sweater in that collaboration this fall, but I think it is Shetland wool
I am planning a party for a relative’s 80th birthday and I want to make it special—any ideas for things I can do? I have a venue and catering.
Take video and not just photos. I’m so, so grateful to have video of relatives who are now gone.
+1 to this – also ask people to bring recent photos of themselves for the relative. I’ve seen older relatives take great comfort in physical photos and photo albums.
We got a photographer to take a group photo at my grandmother’s 90th plus pictures of her with just her kids and then the grandkids and gg kids. It was so great to have a picture of all of us together since you don’t get many at that point!
Another highlight was people sharing their favorite stories about her… I guess in a way it sounds like a funeral, but it was so nice to say things when she was actually there!
Honestly I’ve always thought that it would be so nice to do all the funeral things like sharing photos, stories while the person is there to see how much they’re loved
Display photos from their lifetime?
Make a playlist with music that was popular in their childhood/ teen years
Ask family members to provide special memories or recollections about the guest of honor in advance (e.g. via email) and compile into a memory book. Can include photos as well. If it’s not too private, the book can be displayed at the event. Slide show is also great for this type of event.
You could also ask people for 15-30 second video clips of them saying what they love about her and then you compile them into a video at the event. I’ve seen that done a few times and it was always a HUGE hit.
Yes! We did this with Memento for my Dad’s 80th birthday and it was really easy, and also a great way for far-flung friends and family members to participate even if they couldn’t travel for the event. Some people sent photos instead of video clips, and I put them into a powerpoint, automated it so I could export to video file, and included that in the video.
If the guest of honor is anything like my mother, make sure she actually wants it. My brother planned a party for mom’s 80th, booked flights and hotels for his (adult) kids, even though mom said she didn’t want a party. Mom booked herself a week out of town and refused to tell us where she was. Her bf threatened to call the police if anyone showed up at the house. Brother had to cancel the whole thing. They’re still barely speaking.
Get a band! We had (different) bands for both my grandpas 80’s and they were so much fun. It wasn’t in the US, so I don’t have recommendations. We chose groups that played styles they liked, but were also croud pleasers, and send a couple songs ahead of time that were significant in their lifes.
There is a video of my mom’s parents dancing that is just so precious, especially after grandma’s passing.
The artists are great at feeling the vibe, and had everyone, from the little kids to the elders, on the dance floor. I guess a good DJ could do that too, so I would make music a priority.
I would also make sure to take video, but if a professional isn’t in the budget, ask the grandkids. They will want to help, and probably won’t know many of the guests, so having “a job” won’t take them away from conversations.
BTW, if your only experience with bands in private events is in weddings, they charge much much less for birthdays, at least in my coutry (the wedding tax is global).
We found the bands by calling around bars with live music and asking for recomendations (than had two nights out to “audition” them).
These are great ideas!
Definitely a band or at least a really great DJ. If they are turning 80, you can play all the great hits starting from the late 50s/early 60s.
Make it 1940s themed?
Professional photographer!
Or a Photo Booth!
A photo wall of the birthday persons life throughout the decades, or as centerpieces!
A poster board or book where people can share what they love about or have learned from this person!
So many fun options.
Very broad question but I always find myself at a loss regarding necklaces. What necklaces are you loving right now and what are you wearing them with?
I’m enjoying thicker gold chains with charm connectors like this one:
https://alexandrabeth.com/collections/alexandras-edit/products/rolo-chain
I have a few like this (I usually get vintage 9ct and connect a vintage charm to it.) I am also a fan of 15 or 16 inch rope chains.
I know I always mention her blog, but Jolynne Shane recently did a post about accessories trending for fall.
https://jolynneshane.com/2026-fall-accessory-trends.html
A tribute to Gloria. We wouldn’t be where we are today without her.
+1
?
Gloria Steinem passed away yesterday.
+1
And TIL that Christian Bale is her stepson!
Also, she passed at 92. She’s had an incredible, full life. Kudos to her and the all the women who have pushed for more.
A true icon. We were lucky to have her for so long and are forever shaped by her work.
I was so sad to see the news of her passing this morning. My mom subscribed to Ms. in the 70s, and I was a voracious reader, so I read it cover to cover starting in second or third grade. I feel like I lost an auntie.
Agree! Pour one out for Gloria! May she rest in power
Question for the group: What do you consider animals to be?
Property? Goods? Beings? Something else altogether?
Cost center
We always call our two dogs our lazy roommates. Mostly in reaction to people who call them “our kids” – nope we’re childfree because we didn’t want kids, our dogs aren’t some kind of substitute kid. So we always correct that – not kids, they’re our lazy roommates.
Answering your question – they’re beings who live with us who we are responsible for, separated from property in that it really doesn’t matter ethically/morally what we do to our couch (property) but it certainly matters ethically/morally what we do to our dog.
I mean, I always tell my mom that my cat is my child just to enrage her. Because at the end of the day, its no ones business if you treat your pet like a child. Ultimately you have full responsibility for its care and well-being, even if you think you made a mistake. I have no tolerance for people who re-home pets. You have an obligation to make it work, even if it inconveniences you and your family.
I strongly disagree. I think people do have an obligation to ensure that their pets are cared for, but that can include rehoming to a better-equipped environment. I would not personally surrender a pet to a shelter; I would, however, absolutely find a rehome privately if it were needed. In addition, I think it’s straight-up dangerous and delusional to think that you even *can* “make it work” after a dog bites a house guest or a child. I do not expect you to agree and you don’t have to go in for the rebuttal – we’re not changing each other’s minds on this. I’m just posting an alternate opinion.
Thank you for being a voice of reason.
“thank you for being a voice of reason” is so condescending.
Agreed w/Anon at 12:20
I’m totally fine if you call your cat your kid, but just don’t call my dogs my kids. :) I don’t need them equated to a child to understand that I am of course very responsible for them. FOR ME, they are not the same as children – they are better. I can leave my 4 year old dog alone where he will happily sleep on my couch and watch squirrels and do his dog thing, while I should go to jail for if I did that to a 4 year old child. They’re not the same as kids and I don’t need to pretend that they are to understand I’m still very responsible for the wellbeing of my dog.
If rehoming is in the best interest of the pet, I’m not impressed with the people who prioritize something else above what would be best for their animal.
what if someone in your family is harmed by the animal or develops a SEVERE allergy to it – that is more than an “inconvenience”
Life gives tough breaks sometimes. I think it’s a shame that animals have no rights and exist at the WHIMS of their caregivers.
If animals had rights some of them would rehome themselves (cats are known to do this anyway!).
There are absolutely situations where re-homing is in the best interest of the pet. If you cant see that then you dont care for animals as much as you think you do.
+1.
The only time I’ve seriously sideyed rehoming a pet is when 1. Man had a dog for 5+ years. a good dog. 2. man got a girlfriend who lives in with him. 3. AFTER moving in, girlfriend decided she wanted a new dog. new dog did not get along with existing dog. 4. for some reason the man’s original dog is the one that got rehomed. Readers, I was aghast and said as much to the face of the girlfriend. Our friendly acquaintanceship never really recovered. I stand by my reaction.
Aggression toward humans (especially incidents resulting in injury to a child who lives in the household, even if it was the child’s), severe allergies of new children to the household, severe allergies of new adults to the household that can’t be reasonably controlled by medicine, and major changes in financial or living situation can all be good reasons to re-home an animal, IMHO. Aggression between a new pet and an existing pet is a good reason to rehome the new pet if it doesn’t resolve to the point that both animals are safe.
My family rehomed after about a year a dog that was too energetic for our space and ability to care for it when I was a kid. An acquaintance who was retired with lots of land provided the dog a much happier life. Similar we rehomed a cat who insisted it was an outdoor cat when we lived on a fairly busy street in a dense suburb. That cat was happier as a barn cat. I personally rehomed a cat to a friend when I moved internationally and didn’t think my cat liked me enough to want a 12 hour flight + months of quarantine on the other end.
My cats had their own mom. It’s not me.
I don’t care if people call their cats their kids so long as they don’t actually project human baby traits onto to them to their detriment! Like please do not fatten up your cat because making them rounder makes them look more like a human baby… it is really bad for cats to be overweight and it is totally within your control! Same for people who get dogs with squished faces because they look more like human babies that way, even if it compromises their breathing and causes them suffering and a shortened life.
Beings thar we have an obligation to from beginning to end.
I totally agree, although I do feel like there are different levels of obligation to different sorts of animals. Like, my obligation to a tiger is to try not to mess up their living space too much and generally stay out of their way. I feel like we as society have greater responsibility for managing domesticated/formerly domesticated animals because they exist in their current form because of the actions of human society. (Thinking most specifically about feral cats and pigeons, but there are plenty of other examples.) And then there are specific individual animals that I have a personal relationship and responsibility to, and I’m gonna care more about them because of that.
Agree. Pigeons break my heart. They really aren’t thriving as wild animals.
The pigeons in my small city are doing fine. Nobody has it in for them either though.
The boss.
What kind of animal?
Pets are family. My late cat (adopted at 9 weeks and had for 20 years) was my baby. My current cats (adopted at 6 months, have had for 2 years) are more like roommates or perhaps this is what it’s like to have teenaged kids? They’re too independent to be babies but they still need me to feed them and tell them how pretty they are.
Other animals are somewhere between food and hazards. Like the stupid deer that eat my flowers and frolic across roads like they have a death wish. They look especially delicious this time of year.
What characteristics differentiate food from pet?
Things I want to eat vs things I don’t.
Depends on the context.
In family court, they are chattels and I don’t want the law to move to a place where we spend time, money, and court resources to engage in a best-interests analysis to determine which party gets the pet(s) after a split.
Outside of court, I tend to believe that humans have a complicated duty toward animals, whether wild, livestock, working animals, or pets, because this duty is tempered against our duty to other human beings.
We are all animals
Agree
If domesticated, pets. Beloved, but ultimately not a being on the same level as human family members.
If wild, an exciting, wonderous sight in nature.
What about at factory farms?
I hate them. I get my meat from the butcher, because I live in a place where a butcher can make a living.
Oh sweetie. I’m glad lying to yourself assuages your guilt but you certainly eat at restaurants and friends homes etc. Also statistically it’s impossible for everyone who ‘only buys ethical meat’ to actually be doing that with simple math.
Responsible purchasing is a thing I can do—it’s not lying to myself, it’s making an active choice to care about where my food comes from. You should care, too.
The more people buy ethical meat, the better. Good welfare for animals costs more than cutting any corner, so the farmers who do the right thing really benefit from the support. That’s true even if people don’t buy from them 100% of the time.
Dinner, of course.
Companion animals.
It was sobering to see my collie listed as “property” in my divorce agreement, TBH.
My horse identifies as a walking vet bill. (but the actual answer is beings)
My dog: “my hooman has some money; let’s eat something I shouldn’t and get pancreatitis again so that we can keep the vet fully employed”
I always refer to my horse as both a debit and a credit on my mental health account.
My dog is my unemployed little freeloader.
I think of them as part of my family. Not my child, to be clear, but they are alive and have feelings and needs. I do grieve them when they pass on. They demonstrate love to me. My tv is property by comparison.
Beings, but not on the level of human beings
I’m not honestly sure that they’re not on the same level. I just don’t have the same relationship with them (since I’m human) as I do to other humans. So it’s more of a level-with-respect-to-me.
Right? Who’s to say? They are in your care—treat them with respect.
Humans are their pets’ guardians.
I’m in BigLaw. A lot of transactional work is still very new to me. And I don’t know a lot about the industries we work in or finance. Am I just supposed to spend all of my free time on background reading and watching PLI CLEs? I feel like the work is supposed to teach me and some lunch and learns that our group puts on this month. But I feel that I should have a charge number if I need to do a lot of background work for the next few years and then put on lunch and learns. What do you all do? The hidden work feels unfair. It’s not even interesting.
Do you not just learn through osmosis and googling of random things?
Right??
Oh dear. It doesn’t sound like you are cut out for this. Most people like reading the financial news and following their industry.
Yeah, this. If you have no intellectual curiosity you’re setting yourself up to fail. If you think about things like hidden work, you’re not investing in a career and maybe Starbucks would be a better choice where you get paid by the hour.
Real talk. I don’t mean this to be harsh but the real advice depends on your goals.
Do you want to stay in biglaw? If no, do you want to go in house to a client in one of there industries? If the answer to both is no then feel free to not learn about the industries. But if you want to be successful in biglaw (or even just survive/not get pushed out after the junior years end), then you probably should spend time learning. There’s a ton of non billable work involved in being a biglaw lawyer, it’s one of the reasons the salary is so high and people talk about the hours and time commitment being brutal
Your billing rate is lower because you are less experienced. It is expected that it will take you longer (even much longer) to do the same work.
Bill honestly, and the partner will write your time down to an amount the client will swallow. That part is more of an art than a science.
Unfair, lolol
Today is my last day at the corporate job I’ve had for ten years, with my next role lined up in civil service (state level), and three weeks off in between. I cannot tell you how excited I am to close this Outlook inbox and never open it again!!!
If you also have good news, share it!
No good news but I wanted to say congratulations! I hope to one day share the amazing news that I am quitting and have a great new job lined up.
CONGRATULATIONS! What a great feeling all of this is!
Congrats!!!
SO EXCITED for you and your next chapter!!!
I have a pretty pendant necklace that needs a longer chain. Where would you look for a nice sterling silver option? I want something dainty, smooth, and sleek and the only ones I have found locally are too short or have somewhat blocky links.
Have you thought about getting an extender for the existing chain?
No, because I don’t like the current chain.
Etsy. They have a gajillion.
Late to this, but Tiffany sells their slim sterling chains alone. I love theirs for being super subtle.
letter of recommendation:
I need a letter of recommedation from my boss for reasons.
I was told to write it and my boss would sign it.
Does anyone have tips on this?
This is common. I don’t know how academia adjacent your work is, but if you can adapt the advice as needed, you might start here:
https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/letters-of-recommendation/
This is common—what do you need him to say? What are bullets that speak to content? Honestly, put it in AI and edit from there.
Thank you for the link
Do you have a performance review that you could use to get started?
I will dig one out. This person is not great about doing them