Thursday’s Workwear Report: Scuba Knit Commuter Pant

340 Comments

1. Banana should fire whoever decided “orca” is a good name for anything they sell.

   1. Hahaha I love whales but yes.

   2. Does anyone know if there’s such a thing as a job where you just name colors? I would rock that job.

      1. I could do that for subdivisions and their streets. No more “Misti Lane” or “Nic-Ann Circle.” The second one has fancy houses on it but I boycotted for street name (in theory; I don’t live in that city).

         1. My hometown has a Snuggles Way. That had to be named by someone’s 4 year old.

         2. I’ve definitely known folks in development to name streets after their kids or family members.

            1. yes my dad named a street after my brother once

            2. Ha, my hometown has a Frozen Dog Road.

            3. I grew up in a subdivision that had these very posh-sounding names like Berkshire, Landrace, Hampshire…which are hog breeds. It was a former pig farm turned into tract houses.

         3. A family member lives on Waterfall Road, in a pancake-flat area. There is no waterfall or other water feature nearby. I chock this up to the 1980s subdivision’s aspirational marketing.

         4. My hometown has an aptly named “Wine Alley.”

         5. This is a joy of a thread jack, my hometown has “Molly’s Backbone” I think Molly had scoliosis, it is a very windy country road.

      2. Paint or nail polish companies for sure!

         1. Pantone.

      3. I have a friend in marketing and graphic design who has done this for product colors! When she’s stumped, she asks us for ideas. It’s super fun.

         1. Speaking of naming, an interesting blog on words and naming is Fritinancy / Wordworking. She runs a naming consultancy I’ve worked with.

   3. This chat about colours is making me think of the ‘cerulean’ sequence in The Devil Wears Prada

      1. Love that scene and the Miranda Priestly monologue.

         I had also never heard the word “cerulean” spoken before. I read a book when I was a kid about a girl who had cerulean blue eyes. In my mind it was pronounced “Sair-u-LEE-an,” and stayed that way until the movie.

         1. TIL that’s not how you pronounce it….

   4. ‘Orca’ is the most unfortunately named wetsuit brand I know. (Probably not a single woman on their marketing team.)

   5. Can someone please explain why Orca is a bad name here? Is this a cultural reference I don’t get? Not a native speaker. I know Orca is a type of whale and nothing beyond that.

      1. Because no woman wants to be thought of as a whale when she’s buying clothes?

      2. Maybe that you’d look or feel like a whale in these pants, “whale” being common slang for someone who is overweight.

2. Love these except for the ankle length. Does anyone have recs for similar full-length pants? The Betabrand didn’t work for me.

   1. Duluth Trading Company NOGA pants, a few lengths, plus sizes also available. Size down as these run large.

      1. Thank you! Just placed an order to try them.

3. I’m an associate. I’m really overwhelmed. I’ve been crying in my office (I’m required to be in the office 4 days/ week). I have so much work and a lot of it is outside my comfort zone – I know I need to learn but I switched practice groups a year before COVID and i think partners have forgotten I’ve never done some things (I’ve only shadowed one deposition but I was just told I need to cover for someone who is out sick next week, my myself ). I’m trying to tell myself I’m lucky to have work and my full salary this year, but I don’t know how much longer I can work like this. My mentor told me a few weeks ago that the firm is counting on me for revenue – how can I feet less overwhelmed?

   1. Hugs, but trust me on this one, it’s mind over matter. No one ever taught me how to deal with people in and out of court. It is something ingraned in all of us. Please stop underestimating your ability as a lawyer. You passed the bar! You finished law school! Not to many people can claim that. So if your confident, you will succeed at what now seems to be insurmountable tasks.

      Also, remember that you have the power of the hive behind you. We are here to answer specific questions. So as far as depositions are concerned (“depos”), just remember to look your deponent in the eye and ask pointed questions. That will keep him on his heels. If it is YOUR witness being deposed, remember to lodge objections that either will have to be agreed to on the spot, or brought before a judge for resolution. This is our greatest strength, as most male lawyers are used to us being passive, but when we come out swinging, they will not know how to deal with us! Finally, practice your look in front of a mirror. You can be assertive while remaining cute. Male lawyers are reluctant to fight back against someone cute b/c it makes them look stupid and unattractive to us. You will get there, trust me! I did! YAY!!!

   2. Your mentor is being the opposite of helpful here. “The firm is counting on me for revenue” – no ish Sherlock, the firm is counting on everyone to be billable. What your mentor should be doing is providing advice on how to handle this deposition. Should you be pushing back on whoever assigned this to you, reminding them you’ve never done this before and you need more help? Should you be studying up on quick tips to get you through? Does he/she have advice for how to handle it?

      1. +1 Your mentor sucks.

   3. No solutions, but lots of sympathy. Try to look at this through both the short-term lens (preparing for the deposition and dealing with other assignments) and the bigger picture of career changes that could enhance your chances of happiness.

   4. Associate life is stressful in the best of times, and these are not the best of times. Working outside your comfort zone is a part of the gig. There is a always a first deposition, a first hearing, a first trial. For the depo, I would find similar transcripts on your firm’s system and create an question outline from the questions in the other depos. It may be your first time, but it is not the first time someone in your firm has taken a deposition. You can do this!

      For me, I feel less overwhelmed when I check this off my to do list. I pick a task, then focus on that task while ignoring the rest. When I get paralyzed, I pick an easy task to check it off my list first, then an important task next. Today, I am trying to pomodoro technique using an online timer.

      1. Yeah no, I’m with OP on this one. Of course the gig has a lot of out of your comfort zone moments, but as a client I’d be pissed to know an associate who had only ever shadowed a depo was taking one for my case on their own, unless it was an unimportant one or a very short one. She has literally no idea what she’s doing. This cans needs to be kicked to someone else or the partner at the very least needs to sit down with you for dedicated time twice – once to give you a quick and dirty on how to hold and prepare for a depo, and again to go over your depo prep.

         1. Depends on the type of firm and type of work. If OP is in an insurance defense/med mal or other high volume practice, this is typical. Not ideal, always, but typical. I do agree that OP should push to have a partner sit down and go over her prep after she takes the steps that No Face set out.

         2. If that’s how you feel, put this requirement in your billing guidelines and requirements. Every attorney has to take a first deposition in a case at some point.

   5. I’m so sorry! I remember that feeling, and the fact is that you are far more competent than you feel! As a practical matter, for the deposition can you find a file that has a similar deposition in it? If so, pull the file and use that deposition as a guide. Ideally, it would be a file of the person you are covering for and a like kind of deposition. Try at least for the latter, and if that’s not available just get any one and analyze it for structure and content. Likewise, for anything you are feeling particularly lost on, pulling an old file of a like kind and checking it for structure and content can be helpful. In addition to a set of questions, it is helpful to go in with a checklist of information sought. I’m sorry you are not getting the support and training that you should be getting.

   6. You will be okay! Remember, everyone starts somewhere. In big firms, you aren’t used to “sink or swim” type mentality. This is common in smaller markets at mid and small firms and obviously for solos. I hate feeling like I don’t know what I’m doing too. I’ve been practicing over 10 years and I’m about to do my first arbitration. Sometimes you just have to admit what you don’t know. In a conference call w/ opposing counsel and the arbitrator they kept saying how whether this was a disciplinary case or not dictates who goes first. It is not disciplinary. I followed up with “just so we are all on the same page, that means who goes first?” Turns out it’s me, good to know.

      There have been times I’ve done a lot of research on a subject matter, decided it is a little too far out of my range, and hired another attorney to consult as an expert. Then I found tons of errors in the so called local expert’s work. I realized I know way more than I think I know, OR and more importantly, I know where to find it out.

      Are you taking the deposition or defending? If you are taking, this is your chance to learn more about the case. There is no question too basic or stupid because you want to get the deponent’s version of events. Think of it as a friendly interrogation with a dash of conversation. I tend to take a friendly approach in depositions and find I get more info that way. The deponent relaxes and opens up.

      You want to start the deposition by having the steno swear the witness. Then get the witnesses name on the record. Introduce yourself, who you represent and your firm for the record. Go over basic guidelines of depos for the deponent. Ask that one person speak at a time as the steno can only hear and type one person at a time. Tell the deponent they need verbal answers because uh huh and head nods can’t be typed. Tell them you will assume they heard and understood your question unless they ask you to clarify. Tell them they are free to take a break at anytime but you just ask that they answer the pending question prior to the break. I usually use that time to say “I have to ask everyone the next two questions and it is nothing personal” – have you taken anything today or are you suffering from any medical conditions that could impact your ability to testify truthfully today? The other question is whether they’ve ever been convicted of a felony or in the last 5 years, a misdemeanor.

      Before getting into the rules, I ask if they have ever been deposed before. If the answer is yes, I say okay, well this will just be a refresher for you. I then later ask in what matters they were previously deposed.

      If you tell us what type of case it is (PI, breach of contract, employment) we might be able to point you towards more resources.

      Have three copies of your exhibits. One for the steno, one for the witness, one for yourself. Ask the steno to mark it prior to showing the witness. Take it away when you are done so they aren’t looking at it and are paying attention to you.

      Don’t be married to your outline. LISTEN and make sure you ask follow up questions for non-answers or for when you get new interesting information. Half the time I barely look at my outline. On a break, I go through and check off what we covered and remind myself what I still need to cover. Outlines are fine, but you need to be able to deviate if the answer takes you a different place.

      1. These are all great tips. On the number of copies – I always bring 5. One for you, one for witness, one for court reporter, one for opposing counsel, and one extra just in case.

         I usually organize in file folders (one folder for each document with copies – I’ll mark my pre-highlighted copy with MINE across the first page) rather than in a binder so I can jump around if needed. I’ll use a binder if the exhibits have to flow in a certain way. I.e., here is the tax return, where did the information on line X come from, turn to tab 2, is this where the information came from? and so on. Usually more applicable with experts than regular fact witnesses.

         If this is a Zoom deposition, you don’t need to worry about copies, but you should be sure you’re comfortable pulling up exhibits. If there are a lot of exhibits and the budget allows, the court reporting company can provide a hot seat person to manage the exhibits.

         1. Also, re exhibits, remember to mark them for identification. (And don’t do what I did in my first deposition, which is try to move them into evidence — I still cringe when I think about that! Ha!)

      2. This is so helpful. Thank you. I’m deposing – it’s a sexual harassment/employment case. I want to do this work but I thought I’d have a few more opportunities to shadow and I want to do a good job.

         1. You can do this! I got thrown in just like you. It will be fine. Prepare an outline and share it with the partner. Pay attention to what is being asked. Don’t be afraid of long pauses if you need to think. They’re giving this to you because you can do it.

         2. Do you represent the plaintiff or defense? Who are you deposing? Plaintiff, witness, employer?

         3. What side you are on will help people give you better advice. I am management side employment law. In employment cases, the facts are king. Try to know the facts inside and out so you know what to follow up on during the deposition. When you’re writing an outline, keep the elements of the claim and the defenses forefront. The goal, depending on what side you’re on, is to get admissions or facts that support the elements of the claim or your defense. Most of these cases are summary judgment cases, from a defense perspective, so you want testimony that is going to either support your msj or screw up the defense’s msj.

            If OC is a bully, don’t let them push you around. My first deposition ever, the OC objected to every question I asked, inappropriately for our jurisdiction. She kept “moving to strike” the answers, which we don’t do. Try your best to ignore any tractics. If they are obnoxious, ask to take a break, and call one of your partners or someone to see if they have any advice for how to handle them.

            Finally, go seek out someone in your firm to mentor you through this. I would ONE HUNDRED PERCENT rather a junior attorney came and told me they need help BEFOREHAND than after. There is no shame in seeking advice and help and anyone that acts like there is is wrong and doing their clients a disservice.

            1. Very sound advice already provided. A good way to get up to speed on the depo is asking a partner for a file name or number for a harassment case where a depo has been taken. A good person to ask would be the one you are covering for, as they likely have taken this type of depo before. Review the transcript for the important questions and make your outline.

               This comes with time and experience, but I go into depos with my MSJ argument in mind and think about what facts I will need to support it (ie hostile work environment requires severe or pervasive conduct, so ask the plaintiff to describe the exact conduct, how often it happened, dates of occurrence, did they tell anyone, were others present, etc). Go through each claim in the complaint and determine what facts will be needed to prove each element.

               Alternately, if you are defending the depo, make sure you know the rules in your jurisdiction about speaking objections. Don’t let opposing counsel get into your head about being more experienced. Knowing the case, including the important documents and players is something you can get up to speed on and many experienced attorneys do not always take the time to prepare their clients as they should.

               Good luck and know that no matter what, you will have taken your first depo by the end of the day and it won’t be perfect, but you will learn and it will get easier every time.

         4. Practical tip: When you think you’re done, take a short break to look at your notes, to make sure you haven’t missed anything. It’s ok to go back and as any questions you may have missed.

            Encouragement: after 15 years of litigation I STILL feel like I’m being thrown in over my head sometimes. Yet some, if not most, of my greatest career achievements happened when I was handling something I didn’t feel ready to handle. You’ve got this.

            1. +1
               I’m a criminal attorney and a former investigator, so this is not specific to depositions, but questioning witnesses in general. It is always better to go back and go out of order rather than not ask the question that needed to be asked. If you are not sure you understand the answer, your instinct is often to move on — don’t. Stick with the topic until you understand. If you feel like asking a question is “awkward”, it probably needs to be asked. You’re there because something bad happened (or didn’t but is alleged) — it’s already awkward — don’t be afraid of making it more awkward.

         5. You can do this. And you don’t need to start from scratch – whoever is the lead on the case should at minimum tell you the goals of the depo and why they chose to depose this person – are you trying to lock down particular facts, donexploratory background research, poke holes or elicit a factual dispute between two people, understand corporate structure, get certain documents authenticated? Is there anything they think this person could say that would be harmful to the case and so you should try to avoid? What would the best case scenario? This high-level info is essential so you understand what you are trying to accomplish

      3. Anon at 10:18, this is so kind!

         Also, OP, you never stop learning and nobody knows everything. A friend of mine is a judge, for crying out loud, and told me he was filling in for a vacationing colleague and had to ask for a script for the kinds of hearings he’s be hearing. (Turns out judges use scripts. Who knew?)

      4. No experience with depositions, therefore, your kind offer to point out personal injury related deposition resources is greatly appreciated (eg. an outline or specific sample deposition questions to be asked of a motor vehicle accident plaintiff who was rear ended/injured/disability at issue). Looking for the type of question(s) that tend to elicit helpful information and/or are important to be asked, and any other tips are welcome. Thanks!

   7. Doing something for the first time is scary for everyone, don’t feel like you’re alone in being nervous! I know lawyers who were told to cover a dep on their very first day in the office – to me, that’s not awesome. But you’ve been working in this practice area for a year and you’ve been to one dep. If they’re trusting you with this work, it’s because they know you’re awesome and you’re ready for it. Have the confidence in yourself that they have in you – it’s clearly well deserved!

      That said, it is always OK to ask for more guidance. The ABA has a lot of resources on preparing for your first dep; your mentor might have resources as well. Some things to think about: What themes should you cover with this witness? What are the top 3 pieces of information you need from them? How does this witness help your opponent’s case? What will they say at trial? How might this witness help your case? What admissions do you need them to make? What do you need from this witness to support your summary judgment motion? Then look at documents that support the information you need from this deponent.

      After you’ve compiled all of that information, ask the assigning partner to go over everything with you. If possible, schedule this meeting no later than 3 days prior to the dep – that way you have plenty of time if you need to add anything. Good luck!

   8. You’ve gotten some really good advice above, and I will also add, what used to make me most nervous about taking a depo was that some other counsel would object and “out” me as not being experienced, or smart, or knowing what I am doing. And then I realized that none of that was true!

      First, other counsel are going to object to your questions – and that is totally fine! Let them object, and then move on with your question – don’t let it rattle you, and don’t internalize it and assume you did something wrong. Sometimes, they are just trying to throw you off (especially if they think, oh she’s young I can rattle her). After someone objects, I just look back at the witness and say, “you can still answer the question.” And carry on. Second, the best defense to feeling nervous is being really prepared. Know the case, know the issues, know what facts are necessary to develop the legal arguments important to your client. Because then, if you get off track on your outline, or the witness randomly volunteers really good information, you will at least have a sense of “oh – I should follow-up on this.”

      Good luck – you’ve got this!

      1. +1 to the point about objections. Normally, a valid objection just means your question isn’t clear or you’ve asked two questions at once. It’s worth taking a minute to think about your question to make sure that it actually was clear enough or if you need to rephrase it, etc. Then, move on. If opposing counsel is objecting a lot, and there seems to be no valid reason for them to do so (i.e., you’re not tiptoeing around a privileged document, etc.), they are probably just trying to rattle you.

         During my first deposition, opposing counsel objecting to almost every question I asked. I got thrown into this deposition really last minute– my boss told me I was taking it at 3 pm the day before. I was the third attorney to depose the plaintiffs, and my boss was there with me. Opposing counsel had not objected that much to anyone else’s questions. I asked my boss afterwards what I had done wrong, and he laughed and told me that I had actually asked the plaintiffs the most direct questions and their attorney didn’t like the answers… which is why he was objecting. I now know that you can ask the attorney with the objection to explain the nature of their objection in these types of situations– if they really are just being obnoxious, that normally shuts them up.

4. Awkward question: I live in a condo development on a quiet cul-de-sac. There’s an outdoor parking lot, a lawn, and a small wooded area, with a path circling the whole thing. I have a dog and the circle path is our routine evening walk. On our last few walks, it has become clear that a homeless person has been living in the wooded area – my dog sniffed out a pile of various sleeping bags, empty alcohol bottles, and litter in a secluded area in the trees. Then yesterday evening I saw a clearly drunk man swigging a bottle walk into the trees. I know homelessness is not a crime, and the trees might be his best option given that a lot of shelters have shut down with the pandemic. That being said, I am now very aware of this person’s presence on evening walks. It’s a quiet community and there aren’t that many people out, especially as the nights get colder and darker. The area is moderately well lit. My dog is small and not a strong deterrent if there were to be any trouble. I’ve never felt unsafe here before, but now I’m a bit on edge. What would you do? Changing routes would require driving to another spot, which isn’t ideal for a quick walk before going to bed.

   1. Who “owns” the woods? Is it part of the condo complex? If so, I would report it to management. Homelessness is tough but it is trespassing (and littering).

      If the woods/path are public then I’m not sure what your next best step is.

      1. Good point – I’m not sure, but can ask and notify the management company.

   2. If you have a freind/neighbor, start to walk with him/her together with your little pooch. You can also walk in the morning when the drunk may still be sleeping it off. Finally, ask the condo association’s board to roust him out, particularly if he is a drunk throwing bottles around. Men who drink loose their inhibitions and you do not want to be molested by a drunken slob in the woods, as your pooch does not sound very much like a protector. FOOEY!

   3. Can you call a local shelter or resource center? I’m guessing they have employees who are trained in approaching people and maybe they could get this gentleman some help/support.

      1. +1 call the homeless shelter in your county.

         My BF is a social worker and works at ours. OP is correct that most shelters are closed but they are still placing folks in need in housing (hotels, halfway homes, etc). If you need assistance with resources, please respond back and I can help you.

   4. If he’s not bothering anyone (sounds like he’s just existing – not interacting with anyone), leave him be. There but for the grace of God go I…

      1. Right, but as a woman I think it’s reasonable for OP to change her walking routes.
         I’d drink too if I were homeless, but a man who drinks is scarier to me than a homeless couple who don’t drink. I would not change my walking route in response to a homeless woman, who I might feel comfortable giving water bottles and peanut butter sandwiches.

         Look, I lived in NYC and one night there was a group of Latino day laborer types drinking heavily on the sidewalk by the laundromat. I made my gay male Latino roommate get my laundry that night. I didn’t want to have that prejudiced fear, but I asked my roommate for help with a clear conscience because it was a group of men drinking, and male violence against women is an epidemic.

         1. Was their ethnicity realy relevant here?

         2. Male violence is very real and it’s not prejudiced to name that. I don’t blame you for bringing your friend – but you need to drop the words Latino and gay male from your story. All of it is completely irrelevant.

            1. And also day laborer types.

         3. Yeah pretending men don’t hurt women is ridiculous. We can acknowledge that this situation is dangerous for OP while still recognizing that it’s a sad situation for the man involved.

            1. Right, but nothing in her post indicated he was doing anything more than existing. He wasn’t interacting with her in any way – not speaking to her, not threatening, not asking for money, not even behaving erratically. If the “swigging a bottle” was chardonnay in a Yeti, nobody would think anything of it.
               Existing is not threatening behavior.

            2. Yes, and drunk men are even more dangerous to women. She isn’t judging him for being homeless or possibly having an addiction, but she’s right to think about her safety.

            3. There are good people who are homeless (I’ve met them), and it’s always wrong to stigmatize homeless men generally.

               But I think it’s kidding ourselves not to recognize that statistically one way of ending up homeless is being a predator who isn’t very good at not getting caught and therefore ends up on an offenders list barred from many jobs and neighborhoods. This is a pattern I’ve seen in places where I’ve lived. (And yes homeless men are also very vulnerable to false accusations, and ABSOLUTELY yes there are more strategic predators out there who are dangerous precisely because they’re successful, respected people who are good at not getting caught. But if it’s possible that someone has offended before and now has very little to lose and may additionally have lowered inhibitions from drugs or alcohol, I think that should warrant some caution.)

      2. If he weren’t homeless, my advice would also be to not walk alone near him at night. “Some dude in a suit just hangs around the park, where no one can hear me if I scream, alone.” Yeah, no.

         I was almost carjacked a couple of weeks ago; the reason I wasn’t is that I knew something was a bit weird and refused to put my car into park, let alone turn it off and get out, when I pulled my car into my parking space. You can think I’m a massive jerk all you want, but my toddler was asleep in the backseat and I thank God that my car was not stolen with him in it.

   5. I would call the police non emergency number.

   6. This type of thing happens all the time in the Bay Area. I recommend calling a social services agency if there is one, but otherwise, the police non-emergency line is your best bet. I’m not in the camp that says that women should feel uncomfortable to avoid causing problems for others. I called the non-emergency line on a homeless man who was screaming into his phone night after night on the pedestrian overpass near my house, which also happens to be adjacent to an elementary school. He probably would’ve been harmless, but his behavior prevented women from feeling safe walking on the overpass and he needed to find somewhere else to shelter and to take advantage of the services in our county.

   7. I have no problem with you contacting someone if he becomes a problem but can you give it a little time to see if he just keeps to himself? There is a little known public trail behind my subdivision and there is a homeless man that lives in a tent by the river. He is relatively neat and keeps to himself. I have kayaked by while he’s washing clothes in the river and waived and he has waived back. He is about 25 yards off the trail into the woods. I have walked by his camp at least 100 times and aside from a waive, he has never said anything to me or anyone I’m with. He’s lived there 3 seasons of the year for at least 3 years now. I’d be pretty upset to learn a new neighbor reported him where he is totally harmless.

      Could you get to know some of your neighbors and ask if anyone has had a negative encounter with him? And yeah, I did LOL a little at the “swigging from a bottle” because my neighbor and I frequently drink nips or a bottle of wine or a cider with whiskey down by the river in the midst of our trail walk.

      1. I think OP should ask the other neighbors about him. I’ve always lived in urban areas and almost all the neighborhoods have “that homeless guy” that everyone recognizes who has been there for years and no one bothers him and he doesn’t bother anyone else. OP check and see if this is the case or if it’s a random guy newly arrived. I’d be more hesitant in the latter situation.

   8. My first action would be to call a social services hotline or local shelter in the hope that they will be able to place him and set him up with resources. Take the dog out in the evening next to your building, change the timing of your longer walk to morning (or lunchtime if you are wfh), and walk in the most well-lit parts (circle the outdoor parking lot, for instance).

   9. Don’t call the police. If the woods are owned by the condo, let management know. If they aren’t, reach out to social services in your city (if you have that) or to an individual shelter/homelessness aid program.

      I would change my walking route, at least temporarily. You driving somewhere to walk your dog is still way less of a hassle than whatever that man has had to go through to keep himself safe and alive.

   10. Don’t call the police. In my city, the cops will come and destroy a homeless encampment, slash their tents and throw their belongings away. I would call a local homeless shelter and see if they have resources for the individual. Otherwise, I would just let him be. Him being drunk isn’t being aggressive. I would be more concerned about drunk college guys leaving a bar together who won’t take no for an answer than someone who basically is minding his own business at his residence.

5. Their ads are stalking me on Facebook with a cute outfit. Is their stuff any good?

   1. I bought a dress once after being stalked by Facebook ads – the one that looks like a sunset. I didn’t think the quality was worth the price, but it was also clearly meant for a different body type so I didn’t spend much time thinking about it. (I looked like ice cream.)

6. I’m planning to a leave for a months long roadtrip around the West (starting in Texas, driving west from there, hitting NM, AZ, NV, UT, WY, CO, etc. I don’t really have a set plan other than working in an Air BNB during the week and hiking outdoors over the weekends. Still social distancing and all that, not seeing anyone (apart from grocery shopping, getting gas, etc) will do backcountry camping in the wilderness where possible.

   I’m a little nervous about the recent uptick in COVID cases. I can think of a lot of precautionary measures (wearing gloves when out getting gas, etc, an overabundance of hand sanitizer, disinfecting surfaces when we go to a new Air BNB, avoiding national parks where there are too many people (although I’ve been to a few over the last few months and have been able to do so in a relatively isolated fashion.

   I guess I need 2 things- (1) a gut check around whether this is a terrible idea if done right, and (2) what are the other safety measures I need to take? I got to get out of here or I’m going to go insane. This seems like the safest way to get out.

   1. 1) This is a terrible idea.

      2) If you need a vacation, pick one location. Two absolute max. Stay at AirBNBs that do not involve contact with others – eg a whole condo/house/RV not a room in someone’s house. Stay there for the entire time and do daytrips. Have groceries delivered where possible to minimize time in stores.

      1. Yup

      2. Yep, I get so annoyed at people who say they NEED a vacation right now. No you don’t. Someone told me suffering is optional after a week vacation in Mexico. It’s not suffering. People who lost their loved ones are suffering.

         1. Right! How privileged to “need” a vacation which means you have likely never gone a year without a vacation. I’m itching to vacation too and my last vacation was February. Reminds me of how privileged my prior life was. My parents never left the state really and their vacations were a week on one of the state beaches annually. No one “needs” to frequently leave the country or their state for pleasure. It is a want and a very privileged one at that.

            1. Yes, this. I did not grow up traveling. DH and I have more money and time to travel than my parents did, but it is still a big deal when we go anywhere. We have not traveled since June 2019, and I don’t feel especially deprived. Would I love to go somewhere for a change of scenery? Sure, but it’s a huge WANT, not an actual need.

   2. It’s a great idea, and I think those are fine precautions, probably even somewhat excessive. I’ve stayed in several AirBnbs this summer and fall and never considered wiping down surfaces since the place is professionally cleaned between guests and most places were also enforcing at least 24 hours between guests. The virus can be detected on surfaces for longer than 24 hours, but the viral load decreases very rapidly over time, so realistically surfaces are only a risk if you’re going to be touching them immediately after an infected person. I know there have been a few documented cases of surface transmission (in places like New Zealand with excellent contact tracing) but they were all like someone touches the same elevator button 15 minutes after the sick person, not hours or days later.

   3. Mixed bag idea. I think it’s more risky than other options, could be do-able.

      I’d be cautious of any state-to-state travel bans that may be forthcoming.

      Alternatively, what about picking an air BNB as “base camp” near lots of great weekend day trip hikes? Rent somewhere that has scenic views, a hot tub, and string WiFi.

      1. +1 to your last sentence.

         This will make planning so much easier and probably make the trip more restful and restorative. It really takes a good deal of time and attention and forethought to plan an enjoyable, safe (not just COVID-wise) trip that involves anything in the backcountry. I’d recommend that OP pick a place near a NP or wilderness area and really dig into that area rather than traveling to multiple. (Or, pick two.) I.e., don’t try to hit Zion, Bryce, Capitol Reef, Moab, Grand Canyon over 2 weeks like everyone else in their RV. Instead, hang out by the Wind River range in WY and do day hikes whenever you want because far fewer people will be there. This will reduce exposure/transmission risks and take pressure off planning. (Maybe not actually the Winds because it’s about to be November, but you get the idea.)

   4. Kindly, this is a terrible idea. I could see this being written up in the paper as an example of someone who was practically trying to contract and, more importantly, spread COVID.

      1. COVID is spread by in-person face-to-face contact. How on earth is this remotely a COVID risk if she’s literally seeing nobody face to face? (Other than grocery stores, which she would be doing anyway?)

         1. Yeah this is nowhere near “being written up in the newspaper” level of risk. Would it be safer to stay home completely or stay at one AirBNB for the whole trip? Sure. But it seems way less than risky than flying, staying in hotels, or visiting cities, all of which many people are doing without being in the newspaper.

            1. I think it’s risky to travel state to state to state during a pandemic from a spread perspective. And when you’re moving from place to place, you’re inevitably exposing yourself to more risks that you would be if you stayed at home or at one place.

            2. But “more risk” != “high risk”. I think everyone agrees that traveling is riskier than not traveling. That doesn’t mean that travel is automatically high risk or irresponsible.

            3. I think that higher risk, voluntary activities for pleasure during a pandemic are irresponsible and unnecessary. By definition.

            4. By definition any activity that involves leaving your house is “higher risk” than staying home, and I don’t think most people feel that need to shelter in place forever and only leave the house for groceries and other essential. I don’t even think that’s the majority opinion here, which skews WAY more conservative about Covid than the real world.

            5. That’s a false equivalency. There is obviously a spectrum of risky behavior, and I think we can agree that not leaving your home except for necessities is on one end, while traveling to multiple states for pleasure purposes is somewhere further on the other side.

               I realize a lot of people think it’s fun to point to those of us taking this seriously as being “overly conservative” or hysterical, etc, but another word for conservative in this case is responsible. Or respectful of the severity of the public health crisis.

            6. Hmm I guess we just disagree on where on the spectrum this falls. Given how many people are now attending weddings, hosting gatherings with friends or family, and taking trips that involve planes and hotels, a trip that consists of driving your own car, staying in Airbnbs and doing solo outdoor activities like hiking just doesn’t seem very risky to me, even if you’re crossing state lines. Given what we know now about person-to-person being the main way it’s spread, I think you could stay in a different AirBNB every night for a year and it probably isn’t as risky as attending one outdoor dinner party.

         2. I’m sure the towns she is traveling to don’t see a person who is coming in from another area as just another person at the grocery store. She’s a traveling disease vector. This is precisely what we are all advised not to do.

   5. The fact that you’re asking this question to a board who has proven themselves to, on the whole, be extremely conservative about this topic means that I suspect your subconscious wants a reason not to do it :)

      We have taken three Airbnb trips (driving) since March and, like you plan to, took precautions — did takeout only, brought groceries from home, and stayed in single-family homes with their own pools. (We’ve also been behaving responsibly at home (WFH, have not socialized or dined indoors, very limited socializing outdoors, no issues with masks, etc) so felt the odds of being asymptomatic spreaders were extremely low.) I feel like people here will be disappointed that we didn’t catch it thanks to this behavior… only half kidding.

      1. Unless you traveled to multiple states on each trip, that sounds pretty different from what OP is suggesting which is visiting more than 6 states. That’s a lot of different places where you can get hospitalized if you get sick. If you get sick on a trip, that’s a huge pain if you’re like 6 states away from home.

         1. It’s very unusual to be hospitalized immediately after developing symptoms. Especially for younger, healthy people it’s typically at least a week between symptom onset and hospitalization. Just head home at the first sign of illness.

            1. What? No! If she’s several states away and sick, she could i fact multiple states in her way back. If she gets sick, she should quarantine in place

            2. But then you’re traveling multiple days across states to get home and interacting with people while having covid or possibly covid vs. a one day drive home. And don’t some states require you to quarantine if you’re sick?

            3. But 6 states away is like close to a week’s drive home no? And if you’re close to needing hospitalization, that’s pretty dodgy to make it back.

            4. With this approach, you’ll need to stay somewhere along the way but now you’ll be symptomatic and contagious. This is ridiculous advice

            5. But that would expose everyone along their way home. Extremely selfish behavior that could literally kill others.

            6. If she starts getting sick, if she’s not within a few hours driving of home, she needs to find an air bnb in the closest large population center (i.e. a local hospital that could handle a rapidly declining covid patient – so a big town to large city) and ride it out. She needs resources at hand, including delivery services.

            7. Many AirBnBs will not allow you to stay if you are sick.

   6. It’s a terrible idea in practice. It’s the kind of thing an article will make sound like a dream, but the reality isn’t that great even in normal times. Numbers are going to continue to go up as anticipated by everyone for fall & winter. November in the west for hiking, why, that’s late in the season & weather/roads may be unpredictable. Do you have Air BNBs booked? Have you scouted out areas where people are compliant with mask wearing and social distancing — I think that’s impossible to know until you get there. You still have to work on top of all of this? What will the office setups and internet connections be like? What if you have to print something? It gets dark so early now, you could probably get just as much hiking done from home if you’re only going out on weekends.

      What is your plan if you get sick during the trip & have to quarantine? Where will you stay if your Air BNB reservation runs out but you’re still contagious?

      1. The unpredictability of weather in the West at this time of year is a critical point. I’ve taken my kids trick or treating in snow suits, others years it’s been bitterly cold but dry, other times relatively warm. You should be prepared to experience multiple seasons’-worth of weather, and if you are not familiar with driving on ice and snow, it’s not a great idea.

   7. My mind immediately went to non-Covid related concerns…make sure a friend or family member knows the addresses of each Airbnb and please turn on location tracking while you are hiking solo.

      From a Covid perspective, I think this would be fine if you are taking the precautions you named. Perhaps you could do food/grocery delivery to further minimize your risks. Whatever you decide, I hope you stay safe and enjoy your time!

      1. Agreed. You do not want to be going it alone from lonely place to lonely place just to hike. If you want to hike, walk to the local library and read about all the weirdos that pray upon single women who are outdoorsey. Stay in civilizaiton where you live and don’t do this alone. If you must do it at all find a man to go with you even if not one you are romantic with. At least he would be a deterrent.

   8. Also, we’re coming in the snowy season in several of the states you list. Do you have chains and know how to use them?

   9. I’ve done two trips out west for backcountry camping/national park visits since this summer. We’ve stayed in Air BNBs when not backcountry camping. Not sure which national parks you’ve been to but I wouldn’t assume it’ll be easy to social distance everywhere. If you’re going to popular areas in popular parks that are easily accessible (i.e., you don’t have to be in shape and doing actual hiking to get there) then expect that they might be packed. We were in a very popular one over the summer and I was appalled by how little distancing there was at some points. We reversed course and left. When we had to be in national parks (rather than in wilderness areas outside of national parks which generally are far less traveled), our solution to this was to a) stick to backcountry/long, strenuous hikes that were therefore significantly less busy and b) go in seriously off-peak times to popular areas (read: before or just after dawn on weekdays, returning by 9 am). This might be difficult if you’re planning to hike only on weekends. IME, people were really diligent about wearing masks on trails, or at least putting them on when passing others.

      Not really covid related, but I would spend some more time making a plan, or at least researching, before you go. Not sure where you’re planning to go or how often you’re planning to move spots, but there are wide areas where internet and cell service won’t be reliable (I’m sure you know this) or areas that need significant planning to get to. I’m thinking of southern Utah in particular– you really want to make sure that you’re not putting yourself in a position where you’re too far from your next park, grocery stores, cell service, gas, paved roads, affordable Air BNBs (Air BNBs know they’re located close to national parks and price accordingly) etc. —if you’re actually trying to work and not just do a month long vacation. You also need to make sure you get any required permits for backcountry camping.

   10. Honestly, even if there were no Covid, this does not sound at all fun to me. But I’m a planner. I agree from a Covid perspective it’s safer to have one home base and do day trips, although I don’t think this idea is particularly dangerous.

   11. Travel aside, which I don’t think is a great idea in COVID times, I think your expectation that you’ll be able to work remotely from an air b&b is a little … off. Given the locations — close enough to do backcountry hiking — I would be very surprised if the wifi situation is anything close to what you have at home.

       1. Especially without prebooking anything, this expectation is off.

          I also don’t understand when it is you’ll be doing all this driving (over a thousand miles through all these states from Texas) … if working during the week and hiking on the weekends. Moving from place to place and BNB to BNB will eat up so much free time, and you barely even have any free time as it is.

   12. I am in New Mexico and feel duty-bound to let you know that currently anyone entering our state from any adjacent state must self-quarantine for 14 days or until you leave. You are supposed to stay in your hotel room or AirBNB and cannot leave unless it’s to seek medical treatment, so no hiking on public trails, no going to a restaurant even for takeout, etc. While enforcement is spotty apparently some of our citizens are reporting cars with out-of-state plates to the public health department and investigators are sometimes sent out. There are also some folks in neighborhoods who are confronting people who show up at neighborhood AirBNBs with out-of-state plates, especially if you are from somewhere like Texas or Florida. We are not really open to visitors right now. If you want to do this trip, you need to plan to skirt around NM or drive straight through without stopping.

       1. + 1, and note that some of the Tribes have been really hard hit.

       2. +10,000! Please stay home!

   13. I would do contactless AirBNBs – no meeting anyone. I would also make sure to choose locations near good medical centers and where there are virus-related restrictions in the community. I am not in the west, but in most of my state there are literally no restrictions so the virus is spreading easily. The rural hospitals are worried about becoming overwhelmed soon.

       A safer version of the trip would be a camper van / RV. I went on a RV trip during the pandemic and it was great to have our own space the entire time. A friend of mine is doing this for the entire year. Obviously, very different than staying in homes so YMMV.

   14. I’m very conservative on risk, but it’s an okay idea. I’d make it a better idea by sticking to one or two states and being super vigilant whenever anyone else is even somewhat near you. Don’t use bathrooms.

       I am high risk myself and went backpacking and it was very safe. Usually the closest person was a mile away or more.

       1. Actually, I would make one state your homebase. Get an Airbnb for two months, hike and camp on the weekdays locally and longer trips on the weekends. I vote for Utah.

   15. If you’re nervous about Covid don’t road trip around the country. Rent one air BnB. Stay there. Live there.

   16. We are in a rural area. Our camping areas have been closed each time there has been an uptick in cases. Accordingly, I would suggest committing to an Air B and B in one area likely to stay open, staying there and really exploring that area. We also have really bad WiFi options, I work online when there is cell service, and have to head to town to upload and download data when — as happens frequently — cell service goes down. Please also check and adhere to the Covid restrictions in the area you pick. You don’t want to be the person identified in the local paper as the index case for a new case cluster (you know, Georgia woman, 28….).

   17. I’ll only comment on NM–we are currently experiencing our highest level of COVID cases since this all began. Our governor requires a 14 day quarantine for out-of-state visitors from high risk states which includes Texas, Arizona, and Colorado. Most of our state parks and state campgrounds are closed to out-of-state visitors.

       I think it is possible to travel safely, but I would pick one location and stay there with trips for hiking, etc.

       1. Yeah, aren‘t there national & state parks in TX?!

   18. A family friend is out west hiking right now, doing an RV road trip. From what I can tell via her social media posts, the most popular parks (like Zion, etc) are jammed even on weekday – the friend showed up at 10 and it was already full. I would pick one place with good wifi that’s within a day trip of a few good but not headline spots. (But really, I would just stay home and go hiking near my house. It sucks, but we’re in a pandemic.)

       1. Agree 100%. From someone who lives in the Southwest, please stay the F home!

          1. Yup. NH chiming in. It has been tourist central up here. Our roads have been jam packed. Normally, we welcome tourist dollars but I think a lot of these people are doing day trips or camping and bringing their food so not really contributing to the local economy. Just causing massive traffic jams and exposing gas station and rest area workers. In the North Country many places are not letting people use their bathrooms which is causing a big problem for those not comfortable going in the woods.

             I use a pharmacy two miles from my house and it took me over 20 minutes to get out of the parking lot and home. I had to sit through multiple cycles of the traffic light. As I watched all of the cars go by, maybe 2 of 20 would be from NH.

             Everyone is trying to do the “safe” trip to the rural area. It is going to be packed and you will not be alone.

             I highly recommending finding the off the beaten path things to do that aren’t tourist destinations. Try looking at google maps. Find a lake. Zoom in and see if there is a trail around the lake. That kind of stuff!

   19. This doesn’t sound like a good idea. If you need healthcare in the middle of nowhere, how are you accessing it? Will you know at every point throughout?

       If you end up being hospitalized for several weeks away from home, what does out of network look like with your insurance? What’s the quality of care?

       You’re also potentially exposing people along the way and the people they know at a time when numbers aren’t under control. I normally do a cabin vacation in nearby Wisconsin—skipped this year. They’re being treated in temp facilities right now. They don’t need any more pain from me.

   20. This news from today seems relevant: “Teen on family trip spread the coronavirus to 11 relatives across 4 states after a negative test, CDC says.” https://www.washingtonpost.com/travel/2020/10/15/teen-family-vacation-covid-outbreak/?itid=lk_fullstory

       1. The key word here is “relatives.” Spreading to relatives that you might be hugging, having long conversations with or even staying overnight with, is much easier than spreading to strangers at the grocery store or on a hike.

   21. If you have to travel, pick ONE place that (a) you’re allowed to visit (which would mean not NM, not tribal land, not any of the small gateway towns that are asking tourists to stay home) and (b) isn’t crazy popular (like Zion, Grand Canyon, Sedona, Estes Park are). Stay in ONE AirBnB, work during the week, hike on the weekends.

       I’ve lived in the west for 2 years and still haven’t hit all the local hiking trails; you can easily stay somewhere for months and have plenty of outdoor activities to do that don’t involve all the extra contact of going to crowded locations or jumping from state to state. Even if you weren’t worried about covid at all, this still wouldn’t be a great year to try to see all the sights because so many of the visitors centers, tours, programs, and other highlights are closed or cancelled and a lot of national parks and landmarks have reduced their hours, gone to ticket-based entry (so you can’t necessarily visit as soon or as much as you’d like), and closed popular trails and campgrounds.

       One place you could go with ample wilderness without even leaving your state is Big Bend National Park.

       1. Exactly, stay in TX…! Don‘t they have parks? The sun is riz… lol

   22. As a resident of the southwest, this idea needs a lot of adjustment before it can be done safely and respectfully. Many camping and outdoor recreation areas are closed (entirely or just to out of state residents). Outdoor recreation is good and important, especially during a pandemic, and having people crowd popular spots (like many national parks in the west and the grocery stores/gas stations/restaurants around them) makes all of those places less safe for locals, who don’t necessarily have the option of hopping in the car and working remotely on a six state road trip.

   23. Am I the only who who thinks this is a cool idea that just needs some tweaks? Things I would do if going the same route:
       – rent an RV instead of different AirBNBs along the trip.
       – plan for a 2-4 week stay in each state that require a qurarantine period.
       – consider flying directly to your destination, renting a RV from there, and then driving back to TX from there.

7. I’m in a field where I’ll need a masters eventually (and I do want one). The field is pretty niche (emergency management). There are masters programs in emergency management but the field is really split – some people think they’re fine and others think they’re not worth the paper they’re printed on. Others have masters degrees in various topics – homeland security (some programs are legit, most are not), city planning, environmental science, an MPA, or an MPH. My sub field doesn’t fit well into any of those degrees and I’m not sure where I want to take my career in the future, I just know I want to stay in emergency management.

   Though work has been insane, I was thinking that it might make sense to knock out a masters now since a) almost all programs are online and b) there’s not much fun I’d be missing out on.

   Once upon a time I thought I’d want to get a masters from a really well regarded institution and go part time but in person, but that doesn’t seem very realistic right now.

   A state school in my state has a masters in emergency management, fully online, for less than 20k for instate students. The school is not well regarded, but several people in my office got a degree from this school. The classes look interesting and the program duration is flexible with work schedules. It almost feels like it’s worth it to just rip the bandaid off and do this program, even if it’s from a not great school (I’ll likely spend my entire career in government and most of it in this state, so school would matter less). I’d love to go to the fancy school (could commute to one) but the ROI isn’t worth it since my government salary wouldn’t go up that much.

   My options are likely this school or one like it now, or wait 2-5 years for a fancier school.

   1. In my state, EM is breaking up into flavors and if you want to move up in the Department of Health, you’ll need the MPH. If you stick with things more like hurricane response, it doesn’t matter as much.
      Emergency Management is definitely viewed as an emerging and lucrative degree program by my local state U, and a less math/stats intensive option for those on the fence about an MPH.

   2. I’m confused – is there not an option to just…not do the masters for a while? If it sounds like a lot of people don’t think they’re valuable, your salary won’t go up enough to cover it, and your job won’t cover any of the tuition $20k is an awful lot of money for a moderately valuable piece of paper.
      Do you have an internal mentor you can talk to about this? You may find professional certification tests are a good in between option. Otherwise I’d hold off until you have a better sense of where you would like your career to go in the future – and if you go to a private company they may well pay for some of your degree.

      1. Yes – I mentioned that I could wait several years.

         I can cover this tuition out of my savings. I’m adamant about not going to debt for a degree, which will limit me to less prestigious programs.

         I know where I want my career to go, and I know I need a degree to do so, but I don’t know what degree I should get (frankly I don’t think it matters terribly much).

         The advantage of doing a degree now is that my social life is diminished so there’s less fomo now.

   3. I have an MPA and my role frequently overlaps with Emergency Management type positions. I got my master’s from a state school with a really well regarded MPA program which also does a lot of cross-pollination with homeland security, public health, criminal justice, and information technology management.

      Having an MPA gives me a huge degree of flexibility. It gave me a lot of really versatile skills and I would highly recommend getting a degree that is broadly accepted.

      1. Thanks! I have a few colleagues eith MPAs! I must admit that the courses don’t interest me a ton, but it is a very versatile degree. I know the very, very well regarded school in my area only offers a full time option but I’ll poke around and see what else is out there.

         1. This is incredibly late, but my MPA is full-time only except it isn’t. Some people go part-time the whole way and MANY get jobs part way through and complete part-time (including me!). I recommend you talk to someone at the school. It may be more flexible than advertised.

      2. I hire people with MPAs and related master’s degrees, and work with my clients’ employees who have these degrees. Before you go back to school, be very clear about why you want the degree and what you plan to do with it, and make sure the degree and the school fit those goals. I see a lot of MPAs with weak quantitative skills trying to do applied research and evaluation work, and it rarely turns out well.

         1. MPA grad doing a phd here. Second this point. I had to double down on my quant skills to do anything useful (I only took stats 1 during MPA and had completely forgotten it by the time I started phd). I highly recommend not just Stats through multiple factor regression but also learning to use R or Python, not just SPSS/Stata – hugely useful in the workplace.

            1. I went the other way. I took tons of stats, ended up in budget, which progressed to a senior role for a muni. Not the plan! But it’s been a great career so far.

   4. My state has a public school that charges about $20k for the EM degree, is overall not well regarded, but has a lot of alumni in state government. The only difference is that there is no a ‘fancy’ school offering EM anywhere close to the state capitol.

      That particular school’s EM degree is very well regarded; the school itself has a lot of relationships with police, fire, homeland security.

      My usual advice is to look at the LinkedIn profiles of people who are in jobs that you want years down the road. If they are alumni of fancy schools, that’s a warning to you. If they are alumni of schools like the one you are considering, do NOT bother spending the extra money on a fancy school.

      1. Really great tip, thanks. I do a lot of LinkedIn stalking!

         My career plan is to stay put for another 15-20 years if I can, get my pension and then transition to part time consulting and being surge staff (like a FEMA reservist), if I can. We’ll see how this works out because I don’t know if I can stomach this much time at my current job.

         From my experience, there’s only a few reputable EM/Homeland Security programs and the rest are equally meh. If I go for a meh one, might as well do it inexpensively. If I want to do a different degree (MPA, MPH, etc) it might be worth spending more on.

         Before I got into EM I was working on international projects which I loved and would go back to, if I can do so without moving to DC. I think pedigree if program matters more for that world than it does in my area now. Would also consider a related degree with international focus.

   5. My field is related to EM and has a similar split between those who value the Masters (terminal degree) and those who think they are BS. I got a degree in my field, part-time/low cost from the State U, which happens to be a well-regarded school in general. Job searching was rough, but I think it was definitely easier to get part-time gigs and unpaid internships because of the State U connection. I finally landed a unicorn government, and I think the degree on my resume helped get it. Of my 6 coworkers, I think 3 have highly related Masters and 2 have unrelated Masters; I’m the only one with a degree that perfectly matches my job description.

      TLDR: I think I would be very hesitant to get a degree from a school without a stellar reputation in a rapidly changing field that doesn’t have well defined curricula. But there is probably some value in getting the diploma, and regional connections might be helpful.

      1. This is helpful, thanks. I had no idea there were so many EMs/EM adjacent folks here!

         Back when I lived in DC, I was close to pulling the trigger on a MPS from Georgetown in EM based off of the idea that a degree from Georgetown is probably always going to be well regarded, especially in government. It’s more expensive but not terribly so.

   6. If the program is worth doing, I don’t think you can just “knock it out” especially when work is insane.

8. We just did a family photoshoot/mini session and I’m in love with every photo (sorry if that’s extra!). What’s your favorite place for a high-quality coffee table book? I don’t need wedding album-level quality but definitely a few steps up from Walgreens Photo.

   1. Artifact Uprising, for sure. Pricey but beautiful quality.

      1. +1 very great quality! I believe they have a black friday deal if you’re willing to wait.

      2. +1 they’re gorgeous. If the photos are professional, I’d totally spring for it (can get 15% off at least if order at hte right time, including today)

   2. Adoramapix is good but $$$$

      1. +1 for Adoramapix

   3. I’ve been pleased with Shutterfly, but I add-on the optional “6-color professional printing” option at the end, and I think they come out very nice. I haven’t tried the others mentioned, mainly due to price.

      1. I’ve been pleased with Shutterfly, too. And wait for a good coupon code because they come around regularly.

      2. Are your images formatted for hexachrome printing? As someone who works in the printing industry, I can’t imagine 6 color printing (CMYKOG) being any better than 4 color (CMYK) if your files aren’t formatted for that.

         1. I don’t actually have any idea, all I really know is that I have an earlier book from Shutterfly without this option and I feel like the later two where I added it as an option do look better (maybe marginally better, but to me they look better – one was for my wedding photos, so professional photos, and maybe they were formatted for that?)

   4. MPIX is a good compromise between Adorama (excellent but $$$) and shutterfly (hasn’t held up well for me).

      1. I was perfectly happy with the photo book I ordered from Mpix earlier this year.

   5. Not the ones you can get through Amazon photo. Those are worse than Walgreens. Uncentered, pictures cut off, random extra white strip on the edge of pages, etc.

      1. I wouldn’t expect anything from Amazon to be good quality.

   6. We got both Shutterfly and Artifact Uprising wedding albums, and I prefer the former. It had more layout options and so I ended up happier with the content.

9. What do you all do for dog grooming? We have a longer-haired dog who probably needs it at least quarterly.

   Pet store?
   Vet?
   Independent groomer?

   Also, I cut my kids nails and now they do it but I am a bit nervous about trimming my dogs nails. I understand that his white nails should be easier but I am just nervous that I will do it wrong and hurt him. (And maybe he will bite me or it will get infected).

   Finally, spouse is not sure that you should use a Furminator since the fur is naturally part of his insulation and ventilation. Doggie isn’t matted or anything because I brush him outside daily (cuts down on fur shed inside).

   1. More questions about your corona-pup! In the Before Times, we used to take our big fluffy rescue dog to the groomer at the pet store every three weeks because she hates baths and having her nails trimmed and we didn’t like having to wrestle her. Now we DIY in the backyard with the hose. When it gets too cold for outdoor baths, we may try a mobile grooming service. We tried washing her in the bathtub once and it was a total rodeo.

      For nail trimming, get the biggest, strongest clippers you can find and look up photos of exactly where to clip. Have styptic powder on hand in case you cut the quick. We distract our dog with Frosty Paws while we are trimming.

      Like any brush or shedding tool, the Furminator only removes fur that is in the process of being shed. It just does a better job than other brushes. If you don’t remove the shedding fur with a brush or tool of some type, it will eventually fall off and end up on your floors, furniture, and clothing. The Furminator doesn’t pull out fur that is supposed to be attached to the dog. The only real risk is being too aggressive with the tool and irritating the dog’s skin.

   2. We bounced around to several groomers in our area before we landed on ours, which is a small, family owned place. I tried (and would avoid) the groomers that are geared towards small floofy dogs who need ‘styling’ (unless you have one!). I found they are much more expensive and sometimes even scared of big dogs. Ask your vet for suggestions, that (and google reviews) is how I found our current place. Our local PetCo did an ok job but the service varies widely depending on the person working. Our local boarding facility also does a great job with our dog but is $$ because they know most people would rather just pick up a freshly washed dog instead of hauling them to a second location.

      1. We have a place that does creative color for dogs. I am assuming that working breeds have too much dignity to do that.

         1. We dress our black lab up for Halloween every year to amuse the local kids and she just about dies from shame every single time. I cannot imagine how amusing (to us) and humiliating (to her) it would be if we tried to dye her and/or paint her nails.

   3. I always like going to independent groomers, or a lot of doggy daycares also do grooming if you’re interested in that. I’d get some personal recs from people in your area on Nextdoor or something and pick among those.

      For nails — I never cut my own dogs’ nails because it freaks me out and I never get them short enough. It’s really cheap to get a groomer or a daycare to do that. I take mine to doggy daycare 1-2 times per week and will just ask them to cut hers while she’s there around once a month. My doggy daycare allows walk ins for nail service, and a lot of groomers do as well.

      Furminator — Hard disagree with your husband. The tool isn’t going to rip out hair that’s not already shedding, so it won’t take any hair out that was about to fall out anyway. In other words, the dog will have a naturally thicker coat in the winter, even if you use the Furminator. Tons of vets and groomers recommend them.

      1. I think I left a word out in my Furminator section– The Furminator won’t take out any hair that was NOT about to fall out. So, it’s only removing the hair that’s loose and about to fall out.

      2. Ask around for local recs and go independent. I’ve been a dog owner my entire adult life, and have seen horrible things happen at the chain groomers. Mostly it’s untrained or time-pressured workers using clippers way past the time when they are safe (they heat up with use), and leaving burns on the dog. The smaller places are usually mom and pop places with less time pressure and more accountability to their human and dog clients. The place I’ve been going to now has had very little staff turnover (until corona), meaning that the workers are experienced and know my dog personally.

   4. Independent groomer for sure. Finally found one my dog and I both love, and it’s lifechanging. As for nails, my preference isn’t to cut them but to use a dremel to grind them down. I find that it’s easier for my dog, makes me less nervous about hurting him, and then you can round off all those pokey edges.

   5. Pet store is incredibly random when it comes to quality. I’ve had great cuts, then, when my groomer wasn’t in, had my dog’s skin cut and knicked in multiple places. I’ve stuck with small independent groomers with great reviews since then.

      Just cut your dog’s nails. If they are white, you should be able to see the quick (will be pinkish under the white) before you start cutting and cut slightly above that. Or if you’re squeamish, just grind the nails down slowly until it reach the desired length.

      Furminator only takes out fur that is already about to come out, it doesn’t yank fur not in shedding phase out the root. No need to use it if regular brushing does the trick.

   6. Private groomer every 3-4 weeks, they do all of it – nails, hair cut, shampoo, etc

   7. We use independent groomer or groomer attached to daycare. Ask around for suggestions. Depending on how tolerant your dog is about grooming, it may take a while to get them used to thr process. Good groomers will work with the dog’s limits. Ours are spaniels and they go every 8-12 weeks. My dogs have black nails so I leave those to the professionals.
      For baths between grooms, we do that in the walk-in shower and use a handheld sprayer with a long hose. It’s the easiest, neatest, and safest way we’ve found to wash a dog. Then we leave them in there for a minute to shake off. Baths loosen up a lot of hair so we de-shed them (Furminator or shedding blade) once they are dry.

   8. Parrot beak clippers are more gentle on the nails and easier to use than the guillotine style ones and we trim every 3 weeks.

      A furminator is a lifesaver for our vacuum cleaner, especially in the spring when our dog sheds his winter coat. We don’t use it in the winter since he isn’t shedding as much, and instead opt for a regular pin brush. He gets brushed once a week at least.

      We bathe him about once a month in the summer and every other month in the winter. We brush his teeth daily with dog toothpaste and a regular people toothbrush (dedicated to him, of course). Keeps his gums healthy and keeps stinky dog breath at bay. We use regular Listerine to moisten a paper towel and use that to clean his ears every 3 weeks.

   9. We use the Oster dog rake/shedding brush and it has always done a great job on our large double coated working dog mix — it cleans out the undercoat. Even if you do go to the groomers, brushing their fur in between grooming appointments periodically may be helpful for maintenance.

   10. before the pandemic we went to a local groomers or petsmart, because we needed lead time of 2-4 weeks for the local groomers! since then we have actually started using a mobile groomer and i LOVE IT. they have a very tricked out big van and they come to our home. they just need an extension cord to plug in to. it’s locally owned and the owner is a really nice woman, and all staff we have interacted with have been fabulous. there’s no waiting for our dog in a crate before/after and they do a great job. anyway it is probably a $30 premium ($75 instead of $45 and we leave a $10 tip but so worth it

   11. I take my dogs to a local groomer to get bathed, nails clipped, and bum sacs expressed every other month. In between, I bathe and brush them myself, now in my bathtub and before I had a tub at a self-serve doggie bath. I stopped using the Furminator because I did not like what it was doing to my dogs’ beautiful coats; I just use rakes and regular brushes and combs. While I have cut mattes out of their hair, I have never let anyone cut their hair. Never. My big dogs’ siblings have had their hair cut and they look fine, but I am very protective of his coat so he will never have a haircut. Do not shave a dog in the summer thinking it will keep them cool.

10. iv’e been writing letters for vote forward. i can either mail them today at the post office or via the mail box in my apartment building on saturday. which do you think is better? i know the official mail date is saturday, but for various reasons i cannot go to the post office that day

    1. Today! The earlier the better. Presumably you want people to receive these before they vote or while they can still register.

       1. No- Vote Forward has a specific day they have asked for, with reasoning explained in the training video.

       2. I’m not with Vote Forward.

          Well, if they’ve specified with a special training video and you still can’t figure it out, I’m not sure how you expect the internet to help you.

    2. You committed to the official mail date when you signed up so I would do that. It’s based on their market research about the timing of reminders and the subsequent influence on voting.

    3. If the expectation is that the letters were to be mailed on Saturday, but you can’t get to the PO that day, I would leave them in the mailbox in your building the day beforehand, assuming one day of “processing” to get them to the PO. The postcard projects do all have specific mailing dates, but these dates are independent of where they’re originating– if I’m in CA, sending postcards to Michigan the cards will take longer to arrive than cards mailed from IL. It’ll be okay if you’re off by a day…

       1. This or can you give them to a friend to drop off at the post office for you?

       2. +1

    4. If you mail today in the afternoon or evening, it goes out tomorrow and you’re one day early. If you mail Saturday from your apartment building, either you put it in the box early enough that it gets picked up Saturday and goes out Monday, or it doesn’t get picked up until Monday and goes out Tuesday. Both of those options are farther away from your target date than it going out a day early.

       1. *Mail today meaning drop it off at the post office

11. I have hit a wall with working from home. Despite having a pile of work to do, my motivation is at rock-bottom. Every day feels so freaking long, with very little variety. I have a routine, but it all blends together and I am going crazy from the lack of variety. (And I am someone who generally loves routine!) I am tired all the time. I am tired of taking the same walks around my neighborhood for a break. I am tired of the lack of separation between work and home. There are definitely good things about working from home, but the isolation and sameness is really getting to me.

    These are first-world problems, I realize. I am healthy. I have a comfortable home. I can shut the door to my home office. My kids are doing in-person school (for now). Things could be so much worse, and yet I am pretty darn miserable and feel guilty for being miserable.

    1. I’m right there with you. I know I should be grateful that my loved ones are healthy, that we’re doing fine financially and that my kid is at in-person daycare and mostly oblivious to how insane things are right now. But I’m so miserable and grieving my old life so hard. The hardest part for me is not being able to see my parents – my daughter asks about them all the time and why they don’t come to visit us anymore and it’s so awful. We’re going to quarantine and see them at the holidays so at least I have that to look forward to, but after that it’s going to be even worse because I’ll have no idea when we’ll be able to see them again. With two working parents, we can’t do two week quarantines on a regular basis, but it doesn’t seem safe to have them visit when my daughter has recently been in school.

    2. 100% there with you.

       i took a day off last week to read a book in the park. it was surprisingly refreshing.

       But now I am back to the doldrums and have calculated how many more working days until I can retire (2807)

       1. Curious: how will retirement help? WFH and the pandemic make me feel I might never retire because at least WFH gives my days some structure.

          1. Because then I can do whatever I want with my days rather than being chained to conference calls! I have approximately 45 minutes in the morning and 2 hours in the evening to myself. I used to like my job when travel put some variety into it.

             In this day and age, being retired would mean that I can actually go back home (Canada) without worrying about it being too short of a trip to justify quarantine, or to worry about evolving US visa rules.

       2. 700 days til I can retire…

    3. No advice just commiseration. I’m a mix of wfh and in the office and I have no motivation and can’t seem to get things done. I get excited about plenty of things – just none of them are work related.

       I’ve been trying the pomodoro method which helps but doesn’t fix everything

       1. OP here. Yes, this. It’s not a lack of excitement about all of life; it seems to be limited to work. I am an introvert, but it turns out I really benefit from a) the accountability of being in an office; b) the camaraderie and informal brainstorming that happens naturally in person but is a slog in the virtual environment. I’m trying to remember the good things about WFH — like throwing together a crock-pot soup for lunch — but there is just not enough gratifying stuff about work right now. It’s very transactional in nature.

          1. Oh yes! I need the accountability of being in an office. It’s way too easy to not work if I’m alone and not surrounded by people working. I need the social pressure of other people working.

    4. No answers either, just commiseration. I am trying to be kind with myself for not being happy. Also considering seeing a therapist, though I don’t know how useful it will be. (“I feel stuck! Because… I am stuck?”)

    5. Honestly, I get this feeling during non-Covid times, and Covid has definitely made it worse.

       I’ve found ways to break up routine on the weekends with outdoor activities–we’ve been to a lake, the beach, hiking trails, etc. A few weeks ago, I used a day of PTO for us to go camping. This weekend, the plan is to picnic Friday night and watch the sunset, and Saturday we’ll probably go to a pumpkin patch. Next weekend, we have a Halloween-themed canoe activity planned (I think we paddle around the swamp, and people dressed up as pirates on shore give us candy with, like, a net on the end of a pole). We’re probably more conservative than most people on this site, but we’re more conservative than almost everyone I know in real life.

       DH and I have also taken on some DIY home projects. They give us a sense of accomplishment. They also make us put our phones down, or at least use them to watch YouTube tutorials instead of doom scrolling. Really, almost any project or hobby will work here, but having a goal helps.

    6. You say you have a routine, but maybe that’s the problem. Why are you taking the same walks – can you try a new one? There’s no variety – but what can you add in to mix things up while keeping safe? How about checking out a new-to-you park in your area or even checking out a different grocery store than usual? I’m sorry you’re struggling. It’s definitely very hard this year.

       1. +1. I am also a routine person, but when I’m depressed I’ve found I need to get out of my routine. I think of my routine as healthy, but even a regular exercise that used to be fun can become a slog when it feels too regimented and there’s no joy in it. Even buying something at the grocery store that wasn’t on my list has been helpful at times.

          Try going somewhere new. Listen to new music. Get a different haircut. Move furniture around. Whatever.

12. I could write this post word for word, except I don’t feel guilty about my feelings. So no real advice, just commiseration.

13. My grandmother passed away a couple months ago, and she used to write my brother and I letters nearly monthly. After her passing, my grandfather gave me a folder with copies of all of her letters from the years.
    I’d like to have these digitized (easy enough for me to scan them) and bound into a more substantial book. Is there a best service for this? I figured Shutterfly or someone similar might offer this, but I’d rather batch upload the entire scan vs each page. Willing to spend a little more money since they have a lot of sentimental value.

    1. Can you go to a local office depot or something and do a mass scan at once? It shouldn’t take but 10 minutes even for hundreds of letters to scan through into one document. Are the letters on standard size paper? If they have been folded, set them under heavy books for a few days to straighten out and make easier to scan.

    2. Ooh this is a great idea—would love to hear suggestions, I have some similar things I can scan but would love to have printed for family members rather than just emailing them a sip file.

    3. Just did a quick google and this looks interesting – you can scan the letter into a photo and use that photo of the letter to create the book entry. https://www.fromabirdie.com/faq

    4. Staples or a similar store can scan them all to a single pdf for you in a couple of minutes. Bring a USB drive to put the file on.

14. Anyone have a gps tracker for their dog? There are so many options and none with stellar ratings.

    1. Check out ones designed for hunters. Cabela’s, Bass Pro, etc.

15. I live in an area where no one wears a mask, and I’m typically the only one wearing one when I go out.

    Is there any point in continuing to wear one? If it protected me then I probably would but since no one seems to care, then I’m not sure of the point anymore.

    1. Always do the right thing. It’s a good life motto.

    2. Yes! It protects you to some degree, especially when it comes to the severity of your illness if you do get sick. Search for “viral load” and masks if you want some expert opinions/actual data. Anecdotally, I know two people who got Covid while wearing masks and they both had extremely mild cases (one fully asymptomatic, one had very mild cold symptoms). I always wear it even one on one with someone who refuses to wear one (ahem, tow truck guy who just left my house).

    3. I have read multiple articles suggesting that the mask provides at least some mild protection to the wearer, as well!

    4. It does protect you as well. It’s not 100% preventative but seatbelts don’t prevent 100% of injuries in car accidents and I still buckle up every time. There’s a great info graphic that shows the difference of one person masking vs two people masking vs no masks.

    5. Wear a mask for selfish reasons: there is evidence that it also protects the wearer, not just preventing the spread. There’s initial data that if you were exposed by someone else, your mask would reduce the amount of droplets and increase your chances for a more mild illness if you get sick!

       See UCSF’s article entitled “ One More Reason to Wear a Mask: You’ll Get Les Sick From COVID-19”

    6. Wow where do you live? (So I can never visit).

       1. Alabama.

          1. Based on my relatives there, it’s just a godforsaken place. Football is everything, Trump is everything, and science is nothing. The joke is that if you told them wearing masks would enable SEC football, they’d have worn masks back in April.

             1. And now Saban has it and can’t coach this weekend. So the jokes on us.

          2. I don’t live in Alabama but do live within a short drive and have several immediate family members there. I just want to say that, in bigger cities like Birmingham, mask adherence is very high. I’ve visited about 1 time per month over the past few months and just about everyone I have passed is wearing a mask. That said, I am sure things change very quickly once you are in the more rural areas. Stay safe, OP!

    7. it protects you still! and i feel like the more people around them wear masks, the more people are aware of it even if they refuse to. i also feel you. we were just in montana visiting my in laws for a month and NO ONE except us wore masks. we tried to not leave the house except for groceries and distanced walks.

    8. It decreases your own viral load should you contract it, and it models good behavior. Not a perfect analogy, but if other people litter in the park, you don’t just litter too – you make an example of carrying your trash to a trashcan and hope that you normalize better behavior.

    9. I would keep wearing one just because it might make some people keep their distance out of politeness (or because they think I must be high risk to wear a mask when no one else does), which would keep me safer.

    10. I would wear one and if you can get an N95 mask, I would wear that. Normally I wouldn’t recommend an N95, as I do believe they should be reserved for health care workers. But if you live somewhere like you do where no one wears a mask, I think doing what you can to protect yourself is reasonable.

16. Are there any devices like tile but with a substantial range? I street park my car and they sometimes “courtesy tow” aka they move your car for roadwork, emergencies, construction, etc to somewhere else in the neighborhood. I’d like a gps teacher for my car to find it if it gets moved. My car is very, very old (old enough to vote), so there’s nothing like that built in to the car

    1. wow, I would not like that!

    2. Tile has a 200 ft range – is that not enough? If not, I would just buy a cheap second hand watch with a gps tracker in it and leave it in your glove box.

       1. It could literally be anywhere in the neighborhood

          It’s better than being towed and having to pay a fee but only slightly so

    3. That seems like a huge liability and like it would be hard on your car.

       1. Yeah it’s sucks! I’d be super angry if I had a nice car but I purposely bought a beater.

    4. Pet trackers or leave old smartphone with service in the car.

17. Based on the number of posts lately, a lot of us are hitting the wall right now. I can relate to everyone who’s posted about struggling with lack of motivation, anxiety, and just being sick of the pandemic affecting life. I read this article this morning and found the first part about how it’s normal to hit the wall six months into a crisis very interesting and somewhat reassuring, so I thought I’d share!
    https://www.forbes.com/sites/drnancydoyle/2020/09/24/professor-ahmads-six-month-wall-rehumanizing-the-virtual-workplace-with-the-human-touch/#2cf40b0068ad

    1. If that six months thing is generally accepted, it’s awfully ironic that for a lot of us, six months in is roughly the start of cold/dark season.

       1. Isn’t it, though? Feels like a double whammy.

       2. I know! Just as I feel I’m adjusting to this new normal, the days get shorter and the cold, gloomy weather rolls in

          1. This. I proactively moved my SAD lamp to the office and I think I need to start blocking time off for a midday walk because the lack of light is going to be REALLY hard for me.

    2. Election timing is not helping. I feel extremely struck, anxious, and distracted just waiting to see what happens.

18. My couch is comfortable but the bottom cushions always slide out and make it awkward to sit on. The back cushions are Velcro’d and stay in place fine but I can’t get the bottom cushions to stay put. Any suggestions?

    1. Why not put some stick on velcro strips on the bottom cushions too? (Unless they are designed to be flipped over and you want to be able to do so, then I can see why sticking on strips isn’t an option)

       1. Mine can be flipped but honestly not a bad idea anyways. It’s a wayfair couch that’s about 3 years old I bought off a friend for $50 so not being able to flip or wash isn’t the end of the world

    2. Try that grippy liner stuff that’s used to keep rugs in place or that’s used to line shelves.

       1. +1

    3. I have that issue with my leather chair seat. I bought a small extra-grippy non-slip rug pad and cut it to size to fit. Not perfect but definitely makes a difference. Maybe give that a try?

    4. put shower mats underneath (the rubberish kind meant to make you not slip in the shower).

       1. Thanks! Just bought one.

19. I’d like to revive my flagging skills in German. I know that people like Duolingo, but I haven’t had as much luck with that in the past – I find it hard to adapt it to my level and like I don’t get that much out of the practice exercises. Does anyone have any other faves for improving your language skills when you already have an okay but declining base in the language (as an example, I read the first three Harry Potter books in German at my peak nine years ago, and was able to get around tourism-wise, but not 100%, when I was in Germany last year). Would be interested in flashcards, slow podcasts, programs, anything really. I also have access to my old German textbook to refresh on certain grammatical principles.

    1. SlowGerman podcast sounds perfect for you! https://slowgerman.com/

       1. Thank you! I actually listened to that back in the day, but it’s been a while and I’ll try it again. Hopefully I can still follow…

    2. Also learning German – I like the Babbel app for quick hits of practice. Try watching movies in German as well (ones made in German or the dubbing will mess you up), you can leave either the English or German subtitles/close captioning on depending your level/goals.

    3. I read your first sentence only & I’m picturing you waving flags in a fancy dance routine. German flags, German dance, German costume. Yay!!

    4. There is a fair amount of German language stuff on Netflix, although none of them classic German TV shows or movies. But some of them have popular German actors in them (a proxy for quality?).

    5. deutsche welle does news in slow german, and they offer a ton of other online resources

    6. Thank you everyone!!

20. Seems like Fair Isle is everywhere this year and I am HERE FOR IT.

    1. I just added one to my Christmas list!

    2. I haven’t seen that, but I’m not on social media much anymore. It’s great news though since I inherited a ton of Fair Isle sweaters last year! I’m talking high-quality wool sweaters bought in Norway and Massachusetts in the 1950s that still look amazing. Can’t wait to wear them.

       1. Oh my gosh, I’m green with envy. That sounds lovely.

          1. + 1, the quality on those will be amazing!

    3. Do y’all think they look Christmassy though? I am always iffy about wearing them in Jan-Feb, because I feel like they look like holiday sweaters.

       1. I think it depends on the color! One that’s red or green might look Christmas-y but my mom has a great royal blue one that’s probably 40 years old that never looked out of place in Feb to me

       2. If you like them, you should wear them anytime! I see older people at ski resorts wearing them in February and beyond, although usually navy or some non-Christmas color.

       3. Old enough to remember that they used to be not-holiday sweaters, but just fall / winter sweaters. My sorority pictures from the mid 1980s are a sea of different color Fair Isle sweaters with turtlenecks below. Return of the Preppy Handbook.

    4. AGREE

    5. Same!

    6. Take up knitting! Fair isle is fun to knit. You use two colors per row and bring both along for the entire round, so you’re just deciding which stitch is which color along that row.

       Fair isles have more than two colors in the totally garment, but if hand knit, rarely to never more than two colors in one row/round of knitting.

       1. I knit as a kid and have been meaning to get back into it. This is a great idea! Thank you!

       2. I’ve been knitting for a bit. Now I’m trying a faire isle stocking with some snowflakes, and my tension is terrible. I seem to always make the floats on the back too tight.

    7. The BBC crime drama Shetland is excellent and the main character is from Fair aisle!

    8. I adore fair isle. Bought two fair isle Lands End turtlenecks last year that I wore weekly.

       Really wanted a wool fair isle sweater from Iceland, but my body just does not like 100% wool.

       1. I bought a Fair Isle sweater from LL Bean last year that’s made of cotton and cashmere that you might like (if they still have it). It’s much softer than the usual wool ones.

    9. Bought my Mom a sweater in Norway a couple of years ago — slate blue with ivory — it is the most beautiful wool sweater I have ever seen. Too bad she is a bunch of sizes smaller than me as I will never be able to borrow it.

21. Can someone recommend a specific FitBit (or other device) model? Want a wearable device that can — measure the amount of time standing/sitting (IDK if any device does this); measure # of steps or miles walked all day; and give read outs on sleep so I can know how many hours of light vs. deep sleep. Ideally because this is sort of just for fun information, I’d like the device to be one I can wipe clean and give to another member of the family within a month or two (or 2 people can use it if you switch your log ins back and forth). Willing to spend a few hundred but cheaper the better since I know this isn’t going to be used long term. What specifically would you get?

    1. I have the Fitbit Charge 3 and love it for the sleep stats, steps, and heart rate monitor. It does not do sit/stand but it notices if you are working/breathing harder than usual so it can catch most exercises, even fast walking with a mask on.

22. We’re re-doing our very small powder room. On a whim, I bought this tile for the floor:
    https://www.tilebar.com/bella-moma-9×9-porcelain-tile.html

    Other than gray, any ideas for wall paint colors (the more specific the better) that will go nicely? The sink and toilet will be white and the mirror/shelf have brass accents.

    1. I would probably try to match the color in the tile, like they did here: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/101049585376871124/

       Or you could go the other way and do a complementary color like maybe a pretty coral.

       I love that tile!

       1. Coral sounds lovely. I was also thinking a sage green might work as well, keeping with the cool, soothing tones but not matchy. Also, the tile looks more blue to me than grey, so maybe a similar blue or lighter version with the same color tone?

    2. Personally I would go with white wainscoting and then a deep navy on the top of the walls and ceiling. I love drama in a small room.

    3. Hale navy by Benjamin Moore would be dark, dramatic and chic for a powder room, in my opinion.

       1. Oh, I love this idea!

       2. My very, very small power room is Hale Navy and it’s stunning.

    4. Pretty! I’d do a crisp white.

    5. I would do white, then do towels/rugs/accents in blue & red.

    6. A soft pink is what I’d pick, but I find myself gravitating towards pink for everything lately.

    7. I would do the walls a pale yellow, something like BM Lemon Sorbet. Just enough yellow to contrast with the white sink. Then white towels. And find a piece of art for the walls that will pull in the floor color.

    8. Love that tile. If either match one of the colors, particularly the off-white in the base color. Or if you want a contrasting color, pick one at the same place on the warm to cool scale and it will harmonize. I think something in the slightly warmed up lilac family would work.

       Nothing 100% cool colored because your tiles have some warm elements.

    9. A soft/pale pink for sure. That’s a very on trend color right now and still fairly fresh so you’ll get at least 5 years before it looks dated.

    10. Thanks for all the wonderful ideas! I don’t think my husband will go for the light pink, but I hadn’t thought of pale yellow and love that idea. We had originally thought of white wainscoting with navy paint above; do you think wainscoting and/or navy paint will look dated in a few years?

        1. Who cares? Paint is easy to change!

        2. I don’t understand why you’d want a darker color above the wainscoting. That will shorten the walls visually. I’d do a tile-coordinating lighter color above the wainscoting.

        3. I think it’s a classic look and it’s one I’m using in my 100+ year old Victorian home. I remember as a kid seeing lovely old homes sporting the look too.

        4. I would the wainscoting and the wall both in hale navy. I’d do it higher than a chair rail, more than halfway up the wall with a small shelf, if that makes sense. I have this in my bathrooms and it’s great for a bud vase, diffuser or leaning art against the wall. I’d do small artwork layered in gold frames.

    11. I am hoping that you consider imitation the highest form of flattery, because I love that tile, showed to to DH who also likes it a lot, and I think that’s what we are going to use in our upcoming bath reno. My taste was running toward something that would look like it was from 1924, which I love but might not be the best choice for resale in a few years. This is perfect, I think I love you, and I really, really hope you don’t mind being copied!

23. I worked for a few years in private practice and am currently 3 months into a one-year clerkship that has the option to be extended (though I’m not sure how long). I’d really like to start TTC soon while I know I’ll have the ease of this clerkship as opposed to the stress of firm life (my old firm was particularly punishing), but I’m nervous about the timing and am looking for some advice. Is it bad form to take a short maternity leave while clerking? Would you raise the timing issue with the Judge and ask up front for an extension to a two year clerkship? Judge is a woman with children if that matters. On the return to other work, should I be concerned that the timing of a pregnancy could be that I have to interview pregnant? For further consideration, I’m 32 and I feel like I could wait on all this, but I have no idea if the government will have jobs available in my field or if firm options will even exist on the other side of this clerkship and then I’d have to wait some time before feeling comfortable to be pregnant in my new employment situation. DH has already been with me through the decision to go to law school, start a practice, do the clerkship, and so on, and we both don’t want further delays in TTC if it can be helped. Any and all input welcome, please.

    1. I would extend the clerkship without saying a word about this. If you do conceive you will have government benefit as you are a government employee. Then even if you are on leave for part of the clerkship the judge will have seen enough of your work to stand as a reference for you.

    2. Could you take an unpaid maternity leave and get your health insurance through DH? If you get pregnant right now, you could finish up your clerkship, and look for a position that you could start 4 months later. The standard answer is to establish somewhere for a year first, but I don’t think I’d follow that at 32 if you already feel like you’ve been waiting.

    3. I’m 39 so my advice might be outdated but I remember hearing about judges being very upset when people took maternity leave during a one year clerkship. I’m not sure how much they would do to actually damage your professional reputation though.

       1. Follow up to add, my advice sadly also differs come based on how prestigious this clerkship is. Is it a local state district one? Then sure, take leave. Is it a federal circuit court one? You want every minute of that experience and I’d shoot for leave to be either after or at the next job. You have no idea if you will be someone that needs bed rest and a long leave.

       2. +2, I clerked a while back (2007-2009) and the conventional wisdom was that you don’t take any kind of longer term leave during a term clerkship. No one who clerked for either of my federal judges had taken maternity leave AFAIK. Not sure if that has changed at all.

          1. +3. I’m pretty sure term federal clerks only got whatever leave their judge gave them (we weren’t eligible for some other employee benefits and general employment discrimination law didn’t apply to clerks, IIRC?) and it would have been hugely disruptive for the clerk and the rest of chambers – who handles your work while you are out? And even taking six weeks (which is a long leave out of even a 2 year clerkship) is a really, really short maternity leave. I know lots of people don’t get much maternity leave in lots of jobs, but having had one kid in law school and one kid in private practice, having a real leave makes a big difference.

24. We need a new mattress. Husband isn’t that THAT tall but complains that his feet dangle off the mattress. We have a queen and could squeeze a king into the room. Are the 4 inches on CA king enough to solve this problem? Are there any other options?

    I also want rigid edges if possible. Our last mattress was a Leesa and we both hated it SO much. So much that we moved back to our very old mattress which was relegated to the child.

    With lots of help from your prior comments I’ve narrowed it down to the following. Can anyone comment on what they like/hate about the following mattresses?
    – Avocado
    – Sealy from Costco (response premium)
    – Tempurpedic (which model?)
    – Serta (which model?)
    – Helix (latex coil model) – I hate how many ads they have, could this possibly be a legit company?

    Thank you!!

25. Would love ideas and inspiration. Similar to upthread posters, I and many peers at work are hitting a wall. Grandboss met with us this morning and asked what management could do to ease our stress. I think as long as the requests are reasonable, they will be accommodated. What should we ask for?

    We already have extremely flexible hours for WFH, and we received stipends for office equipment and furniture to outfit our home offices. Everyone has ample vacation time because no one is going anywhere. Anyone have any great suggestions that you’ve seen or heard?

    1. We usually have our gym open, provide free yoga, etc. With our offices closed we let everyone expense health related items, like new running shoes, an online work out program, it was really open ended.

       Another good perk is free meal delivery (Uber Eats delivery credits).

    2. Anything that would make your actual workday go smoother, like ideas for information sessions/smoother meetings/planning/deadlines. Stipends/resources/time for professional development (courses, conferences, article writing, mentorship program etc).

    3. We had an extra day of PTO to take within a short period of time (2 weeks) and with the stipulation that it be used for something that was fun, relaxing, or rejuvenating that you wouldn’t do otherwise. People seemed to appreciate it not because it’s extra time off (which we have a surplus of already) but because of the structure. I think if we had the ability to do it more frequently that would be greatly appreciated (sadly, we do not, because of the need to be billing).

    4. I want real financial info. At first, everyone was worried about hours and income with the pandemic. Turned out we were busier than ever but management never put out a new memo that we didn’t have to worry so much after the big scare monger memo. Telling us that we are doing okay and to keep up the good work could go a long way to easing fears.

26. Frivolous fashion observation, I’m leaving the politics out of it –
    Yesterday, Amy Coney Barrett’s blazer was from J.Crew – it’s the Going Out Blazer that is often recommended here. She wore the “pink confetti tweed” color which was sold ~2 years ago as part of a suit set – I ordered the dress back then, but returned it because the fit was weird. I wish I’d nabbed the blazer now, because it seems pretty versatile and I liked how she paired it with a lavender shell. I rarely recognize fashion out in the wild, but I was pleased I spotted this!

    1. I remember really loving that version! Had it in my shopping cart multiple times but never quite pulled the trigger…

27. Hello Hive! Does anyone here use therapy through BetterHelp, and would you recommend it? There are lots of issues I want to explore in therapy, but primarily I need to address anxiety, which due to politics/pandemic has taken over my life. The thing that is giving me pause is BetterHelp charges per week like a subscription and my matched therapist doesn’t have an available appointment until the end of the month. I need help like yesterday and I don’t want to pay a weekly fee for waiting for an appointment.

    1. Hi! I’ve used BetterHelp for a year. Can you use the messaging feature in the meantime, if just to unload? That’s been my primary method of communicating with my therapist all year and she always responds to me promptly.

       1. Also, I think you can switch to monthly or quarterly billing.

    2. I’ve been using Better Help for a couple of months and I like it. I think I waited about a week and a half for an appointment and exchanged a few messages in the meanwhile. Can you message your therapist to see if they have anything sooner?

    3. Message your therapist and see if they have any availablity before then – mine will definitely add spots when necessary.

28. Has anyone with an autoimmune condition had significant improvement by changing her diet? I have an autoimmune thyroid condition, I’m on synthroid (not generic, but time release component in generic wasn’t working for me) and cytomel.

    My levels are in acceptable range but I still feel tired, achy, brain fog. I am not overweight and have a reasonably good diet but I have been wondering about the fringe/alternative providers that say cutting out gluten, soy, eggs, dairy and corn can help bc these foods increase inflammation and autoimmune disorders cause inflammation, etc. Also because gluten sensitivity and celiac disease are also often comorbid with other autoimmune disorders.

    I’m desperate to feel better but the most “famous” diet Medical Medium reads like pure quackery. Does anyone have an experience with changing their diet improving their overall energy levels?

    1. I saw an “alternative” provider for my lack of energy (I have Hasimoto’s) and he advised me to cut out gluten. I thought it would be really difficult for me — pizza! baked goods! — but it has been surprisingly easy. I definitely noticed an increase in energy, an immediate decrease in abdominal bloating, and an achy knuckle stopped aching. The observable benefits to me definitely help keep me motivated to keep eating gluten free.

       1. My philosophy on interventions that don’t have a strong evidence base is all about risk vs. reward analysis. Since whole civilizations have gotten by just fine without gluten, I considered the risk of this intervention very low. I also understand it’s the kind of intervention that isn’t likely to get a bunch of RCTs (it’s difficult and expensive to study dietary interventions in general, and it’s also less important than studying interventions that need to demonstrate their safety).

29. Stuck in mod (why???) so re-posting….

    Has anyone with an autoimmune condition had significant improvement by changing her diet? I have an autoimmune thyroid condition, I’m on synthroid (not generic, but time release component in generic wasn’t working for me) and cytomel.

    My levels are in acceptable range but I still feel tired, achy, brain fog. I am not overweight and have a reasonably good diet but I have been wondering about the fringe/alternative providers that say cutting out gluten, soy, eggs, dairy and corn can help bc these foods increase inflammation and autoimmune disorders cause inflammation, etc. Also because gluten sensitivity and celiac disease are also often comorbid with other autoimmune disorders.

    I’m desperate to feel better but the most “famous” diet Medical Medium reads like pure quackery. Does anyone have an experience with changing their diet improving their overall energy levels?

    1. Your best bet is to contact a nutritionist that can help you with an elimination diet. The goal isn’t to remove any potentially inflammatory or sensitive foods from your diet, but rather find out which ones you might be sensitive to. You may do just fine with dairy and gluten, but have an issue with eggs. Elimination diet puts you on a bland anti-inflammatory diet and slowly introduces one potential food irritant at a time.

    2. I have Hashimoto’s (assuming that’s what you mean by autoimmune thyroid) and also take name brand Synthroid. I’m also recently diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, so I certainly know what you mean by comorbid autoimmune disorders.

       I tried all kinds of things with diet and… maybe I felt miniscule-y better off gluten, but it’s a very inconvenient lifestyle for someone who travels for work a lot, like I did prior to March 2020. I also tried low carb, high protein. I tried No Joy in January (no booze or sugar) one year, and No Fun in February the next. I felt maybe (?) a little better, or maybe it was a placebo effect.

       The real truth is the things that help me are the drugs. Pharmaceuticals for autoimmune conditions are literally life saving. See and endocrinologist if you’re not feeling 100% better even though your levels are ok – some like your TSH to be on the low end of the range, but I can tell you for certain that having TOO low TSH can be worse. I ended up in the ER with a heart arrhythmia when my TSH was very much too low at one point. I’d exhaust all of your conventional options before turning to the woo.

       1. Thanks. (And yes on the hashimoto’s)

          I have seen an endo for years and he says “there’s no reason for you to feel bad, ALL your levels are within range” BUT i DO feel bad. I feel like I’ve gotten no where with my PCP or Endo and I’m so frustrated by how crummy i feel. Sore joints, always tired, brain fog – it’s ridiculous.

          It’s a good data point that dietary changes didn’t help you. Thanks for your response :)

          1. Get a new endo.

             1. It’s a bit of a logistical challenge with my insurance, unfortunately :(

    3. Yes. I have hypothyroid managed with levothyroxine, but I’m always at the bottom of the acceptable range, and the brain fog never really went away.

       I completely revamped my diet in order to deal with GERD and severe adult acne, but I noticed the thyroid symptoms improving as well. I follow the basics of the Mediterranean diet, avoid fried and greasy foods, avoid milk and ice cream (cheese is okay for me), and avoid simple processed cards like candy and white bread. I eat mostly vegetables, nuts and seeds, eggs, chicken, and fish.

       I also do intermittent fasting as recommended by my gastroenterologist (limiting meals to an eating window of noon to 8:00 PM), and while the main benefit was curbing my morning reflux, I also noticed a difference in my ability to get out of bed in the morning–less confusion when the alarm goes off, less sluggishness and faster brain “boot up” time, etc. I used to have definite energy cycles in the day, like after lunch I was always lagging and couldn’t keep a thought in my head. Now my overall functionality is on a more even keel.

       Note that some people just do not respond well to synthetic T4, showing problematic symptoms even with their levels in the “proper” range. Some of those people thrive on the porcine version instead. Also track your D and B complex levels, methylation problems are often co-morbid with autoimmune issues. My D and Bs were drastically low and required supplementation, despite my healthy diet.

       1. Thanks – trying the porcine version on T4 is a good thing to follow up on with my endo!

          (I’m taking D and B-12 supplements)

    4. Yes, absolutely. I did a medical elimination diet (honestly it was similar to the AIP Whole30 people do) and identified gluten as an issue for me, even though I tested as negative for Celiac. I reintroduced a lot of other foods since they weren’t correlating with symptoms for me. Later I learned that with low IgA, that test was invalid, and I probably was never eating enough gluten for reliable testing, since I wasn’t advised to gluten load beforehand! But until I went to a world renowned university hospital, the doctors I was seeing didn’t know much about low IgA or honestly about Celiac testing. Apparently there’s also a condition called gluten ataxia, which is interesting to me since that was one of my main gluten symptoms. It’s my view that often alternative/fringe providers are trying to make a $ by imitating what the best university hospital researchers are pioneering, even though they often don’t even understand the underlying research and misapply it or try to make it relevant to every single patient.

       I have also gone on combination meds (T4/T3) and started low dose naltrexone. The explanation for combination meds is that it’s easy to get too much T4 for one’s heart when dosing only T4, so it’s possible to treat a little more aggressively by including both. LDN is hard to research because again, alternative types have latched onto it and marketed as a cure-all, but there’s a simple theory behind why it might help with autoimmune inflammation broadly. I was willing to do an N=1 experiment with it since the risks for me seemed low.

       I’m doing well on this treatment approach. I used to get terrible Hashimoto’s flare ups with high antibody titers that would make it confusing how to dose my thyroid for a while, and I would feel awful while figuring out how much to increase my dose. Since trying these interventions with a more experimental PCP, I don’t have symptoms of hypothyroidism anymore (especially feeling cold) or of hyperthyroidism, I haven’t had any flare ups, I have actually been able to lower my thyroid dose for the first time, and my Hashimoto’s antibodies are now undetectable. I wish I tried this stuff sooner!

       One thing diet did NOT do is get me any B12. If you have anti-parietal cell antibodies as well as Hashimoto’s antibodies and aren’t feeling well, watch out for any symptoms that of B12 deficiency. With autoimmune conditions, it’s possible to have a functional deficiency (serum B12 will look normal, but it’s not been properly activated by intrinsic factor so it’s doing no good at all). I additionally have anti-intrinsic factor antibodies, so I have full fledged pernicious anemia, and a lot of my non-thyroid symptoms (like paresthesia, nerve pain, memory problems) were treatable with B12 injections, which took my doctors way too long to figure out.

       1. Thanks, that is very helpful!

          My endo prescribed B-12 shots, although my levels aren’t too low but he didn’t mention that it was because of a potential functional deficiency – he was more of the approach of “well it couldn’t hurt”

          I’ve read that oral B-12 is more easily absorbed so I am just this month trying oral supplements instead. B-12 shots seem to help a bit.

          I hadn’t heard about low dose naltrexone – I will look into that as well.

          1. Injections have much stronger research support that oral B12, but if you noticed a benefit on the injections, you can compare how each works for you. An issue is that the Schilling test for B12 malabsorption was discontinued, so injections are now the “safest best” since oral supplements only work for some people, but injections bypass issues with absorption altogether.

             It was my neurologist and my PCP who were most interested in the naltrexone; my endocrinologist scoffed at it. I also thought it was doing nothing at all for a while, but then I needed to adjust my thyroid dose down which seemed like a big deal after 20 years of only ever needing to adjust up previously. The annoying thing is that it’s only sold in the regular dose, so there are various ways of working around that to get the miniscule dose that’s used for Hashimoto’s.

    5. I have Crohns (so digestive autoimmune) plus a handful of other autoimmune diseases – asthma, allergies, HS, thyroid…

       Going 100% dairy free (including no whey and caesin) is what resolved my HS (painful cysts that grow tracts under the skin). Going 100% gluten free is the only thing that put my Crohns in remission. I didn’t see any change in my other ailments.

       I have a friend that went gluten free for her thyroid condition that was not managed well with meds and she feels a ton better. She had developed this perma-bloat that looked like she was on prednisone and had chipmunk cheeks. After a month gluten free that went away.

       I also have a professional acquaintance that had a heart condition that caused swelling or fluid around her heart. I forget the name of it. Her doctor suggested that there was some research that said GF diets helped with that. She went GF and was able to come off all of the medication she was on. She is still closely medically monitored but GF did it for her.

       1. Thanks! There are so many anecdotal stories about GF helping, which is what made me wonder if this or other dietary changes really could help.

          I’m at the beginning of trying no eggs, no dairy, no meat, no gluten, no caffeine and honestly I feel worse at this point ;0 So maybe that in and of itself means something?

          1. You may want to track some meals on cronometer or fitbit to see if you’re getting enough nutrients; that can be an issue on any restricted diet.

             1. That sounds overwhelming but smart – I will try to figure out how to do that

          2. Maybe try going off these one at a time and then reintroducing to see if you get any unwanted symptoms. I tried that with dairy and when I stopped eating it for just four days, then reintroduced it, I had major sinus congestion which triggered a migraine. Been dairy free ever since. I was recently diagnosed with Graves’ and was told that dairy is not great for people with thyroid issues. Some have had success going GF, but I elilmated and added back with no issues.

    6. FWIW, I’ve had Hashimoto’s for about two years and this is the first I’ve ever heard of Medical Medium. And celery itself is gross, why would I want to make celery juice?

       I’ve done a bit of reading and it seems that the foods that are “good” and “bad” for you when you have hypothyroidism line up pretty well with the Mediterranean diet. I also have some IBS issues, and while the low FODMAP diet looks pretty difficult, it might be what finally helps. So I’m actually going to give it a go since I have nothing else to do in quarantine really. I just ordered a Med diet cookbook and a low FODMAP cookbook and I plan to cross check between the two to find what’s both low FODMAP and also Med diet.

    7. And Medical Medium is really not respected… The most respected AIP diet is probably the Wahls protocol, though it is extreme, and I think most doctors would recommend adapting to one’s own needs.

       1. As much as the rational, intelligent me knows Medical Medium is nonsense, he has a lot of followers and success stories. And *real* medicine has mostly failed me so far. But, yes, MM does read as pure quackery.

          1. It could be that the recommended diet is the basically same! Sometimes the version that becomes popular is the version that’s explained in simplistic or intuitive terms, instead of the version that’s more scientifically informed. I guess that’s fine if it still helps people, but I think it makes doctors roll their eyes which is hard when you’re trying to work with a doctor.

             1. That’s a fair point. I’ve done a lot of cross referencing and, in general, the recommendations for people with thyroid issues to cut out one or more of gluten, caffeine, dairy and soy are fairly consistent. I think MM might just add jazz hands to the process.

                I have been drinking the celery juice because celery is very inexpensive and I already have a juicer. It is truly awful. I used to look forward to my lovely morning latte and now I want to run from the kitchen thinking about the celery juice. I plan to quit after the giant batch of celery I purchased is finished.

             2. Also thank you for being kind to an internet stranger and not pointing out how truly dumb MM is ;)

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