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I'm not much of a jumpsuit person — and I'm really not a jumpsuit romper person — but back when I was exploring lots of new Black-owned stores and designers to me I fell in love with this jumpsuit from Selfi. It's been sold out for a few weeks now, but is slowly coming back in stock, right now just in the avocado color. (I'm holding out for the teal!)
It looks effortlessly cool, in both the “breathable” and “chic” sense of the word. I also like that you can choose how cropped to make the top based on how you tie it. Lovely.
The Folklore, by the way, is a great boutique to know if you're trying to shop more consciously:
The Folklore is a New York City-based multi-brand online concept store and wholesale showroom that allows U.S. based and international customers to easily shop exclusive styles from Africa and the diaspora's top luxury and emerging fashion brands.
Nice! The jumpsuit is $155 at both The Folklore and Garmentory. Selfi Jumpsuit
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
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Anon
Friend post in previous thread made me think – I am so bad at making friends. All the friends I have are because other people have taken most of the initiative or my husband made them for us, I am somewhat shy and don’t take initiative. How do people make friends?? I recently moved to a new city and have co-workers that I liked and was somewhat starting to develop into friendships but within a work context only (e.g., getting lunch together at work or happy hour drinks, texts about work mostly). But I recently started a new job in the same city, and I would like to stay in touch and develop a friendship outside of work, but have no idea how to do that. And this pandemic makes it even more complicated, I don’t even know what’s socially appropriate now / what people feel comfortable with.
Anonymous
I would reach out to the one you felt closest to and say something like — I am feeling nostalgic for our lunches together back when we were both at ABC Company. If you are ready to get out some, would you want to grab lunch on the patio at XX restaurant sometime next week and catch up?
Hair
Would love help with hair highlights. Have dirty blonde hair naturally, have been getting golden blonde highlights for a while but would like to change it up. How do I find ideas / figure out what would look good on me?
Anonymous
If you have stylist you trust, ask her. Maybe a caramel color would be nice.
Anonymous
This looks like a two-piece outfit, not a jumpsuit.
anon
I do not understand this look at all.
Senior Attorney
I guess that’s a cut-out in front. Party in the back, bigger party in the front…
DLC
As I stare down my mid forties… does anyone have any inspiring/ helpful/ insightful / wise books about navigating middle age? I tried to read some recent books about the stresses of these sandwich years (books like Why We Can’t Sleep, Burnout, and Overwhelmed) and had to put them down because their negativity stressed me out even more about the prospect of my mid-forties. I’d love to read more books about or by bad ass women in their 40s and 50s.
Anonymous
I liked this anthology – On Being 40(ish): Fifteen Writers on the Prime of Their Lives. Better for those who are also mothers, but it had some good pieces.
Anon
Hey all, a young person in my family (early 20s) has some gut issues he is trying to figure out. He’s been to the GI doc, who has been telling him it’s related to anxiety but that he doesn’t have IBS.
TMI section – he has to p00p 3-4 times a day, minimum, and feels sudden urgency to do so. He can’t tell whether anxiety makes him need to p00p, or whether needing to p00p causes the anxiety. But it’s the kind of thing where they will leave the house and then have to turn around and go back so he can use the bathroom. Wherever they go he’s worried about finding a bathroom.
Do any of you know of good sources for info on the mind-gut connection? Or can you relate with similar tales?
Anon
I would go to another doc– anxiety making you poop more frequently is very much IBS. This might be treated better through a good GP that is better at treating the “whole body.” IBS is not infrequently treated by treating depression/anxiety.
Source: I had a similar deal where I was having stomach cramps so bad I went to the ER. I also will go through periods where I have to go through the bathroom a lot (typically insomnia related and if traveling). ER and first doctor ran a bunch of tests and kept telling me there was nothing wrong, wanted to do progressively more invasive tests, and talked about surgery. Went to another GP. She pretty quickly said it was clearly IBS and could probably be treated by diet. It actually cleared up shortly after seeing her– not having a diagnosis was so stressful it was apparently making my symptoms worse.
anon
When I am very stressed and anxious, this is what happens to me. It is not nearly as much of an issue when the anxiety is in check. IDK if that means it’s really IBS or not, but when I’m in a particularly bad spiral, I need to be very careful about what I eat. But seriously — treat the anxiety first.
fallen
There is pretty good evidence that MBSR might be helpful for anxiety/IBS – here is a free MBSR course: https://palousemindfulness.com
Carmen Sandiego
So, I don’t have experience with this exact issue, but I do have GI issues in my upper GI tract/esophagus (so, other end), and there has been a lot of discussion about anxiety and I have treated for anxiety in addition to the physical problems. Here is what I’ll say on it:
First, there absolutely can be a mind-body connection in all of this, which I have learned painstakingly after years of uncertainty and being misdiagnosed (and, initially thinking it was all a bunch of woo woo nonsense). What was particularly bad with my issues (you can think of it as reflux type issues) is that I would end up in a self-fulfilling anxiety spiral. So, I would feel bad, which would make me nervous and convinced that I had some sort of stomach/esophageal cancer, and then that would make me anxious, which would then make my physical symptoms start flaring up even more.
Second, related to the first. Anxiety can make these issues worse. So whether or not he has IBS probably shouldn’t be the doctor’s only focus. If the doctor isn’t giving him medication or tools to help calm this down, which it doesn’t sound like the doctor has from your pose, then he probably needs to see a new doctor. I ultimately ended up at a tertiary specialist for GI motility issues and diagnostics, and one of the first things she did was give me some medication for nausea and diarrhea. She didn’t do this because that medication was going to solve my problems. She gave it to me because she said, “listen, sometimes feeling this way makes you feel anxious, which makes it worse, so this should put your mind at ease that you have something you can take if you start feeling bad.” Honestly, just having that did help ease my anxiety while we sorted out what was going on. I’ve never even opened the box of medicine for diarrhea, but just knowing I had it if I needed it helped immensely. So, his doctor should be helping him with these types of things, and hopefully not just dismissing it as “anxiety, just get over it.”
Third, I started seeing a psychiatrist who works specifically with GI patients, because what I ended up having is cured by (wait for it) diaphragmatic breathing. I kid you not! This started my long path down to the mind-body connection and now I’m a total believer. What I learned was this – because of COURSE I kept insisting I wasn’t anxious – I, emotionally, was coping with anxiety pretty well. But, I was sending lots and lots of physical stress signals to my body, and it was manifesting in GI symptoms. So, I’ve started doing: yoga, meditation, lots of deep breathing. In general this has reduced so many of my symptoms, and I know how to send calming signals to my body now. I was barely hanging on three years ago, and now I feel better than ever! (I watched some TED talks on the power of diaphragmatic breathing, and it really improved my understanding of how it interacts with our nervous systems, if I can find them, I’ll share the links below.)
Lastly, there are medications he can take that either relate to anxiety or to nervous system problems. I have been on a medicine that helps to down-regulate my nervous system, because some of what I have is caused by overactive nerves (i.e. nerves are overactive and keep opening the muscle that closes off the esophagus and stomach), and it has helped so tremendously and after 18 months on it, I am weaning off. Again, if his doctor is not exploring these options, I would suggest another doctor.
Good luck to you and him! This is tough to deal with, and it is so unfortunate that patients really have to advocate for themselves sometimes. (*note – I’m not a doctor, obviously, all of this is just my explanation/understanding of what I’ve dealt with.)
Carmen Sandiego
Ok, here is the video that I like where she explains how our bodies pick up on physical stress signals, and is one of the videos that really converted me on the whole, what can we do to send “rest and digest” signals to our bodies!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sgb2cUqFiY
Associate
I had these issues in my second year of law school, to the point I was concerned I couldn’t sit through classes fully. I went to urgent care when it started to pair with sharp pain on my left side (lower stomach to bladder area) and was told I must have an STD… Another doctor told me it was IBS but also that IBS is a catch all. When I tried to follow IBS-oriented diets, I still felt terrible and had issues. I ended up seeing a gastroenteritis who had me do a hydrogen test and determined I have SIBO (small intestine bacterial overgrowth). It can be exacerbated by stress (which obviously, as a 2L, I was dealing with) and I ended up keeping a food journal about trigger foods. The low fodmaps diet helped, so did switching to paleo. I still get flare ups when I am very stressed but over the years, lots of water + anti-anxiety meds + sticking with paleo/clean eating with a focus on low carbs (the bacteria thrives on carbs and sugars) + yoga + acupuncture (these two are mainly for the stress) has really helped.
Anonymous
I am not a doctor, I am not even remotely involved in medicine. Two years ago, I had these same symptoms. I tried so many things, nothing helped. Finally, I bought some Pepto Bismol tablets and took them as directed for 3 or 4 days. I bought the original tablets, not the new fancy oneS, and it worked! Pepto Bismol kills some bacteria, and although I was stressed at the time, this is what worked for me.
Again, I’m not a doctor but they only cost a few dollars. Hope it helps.
Lauren
A friend of mine is closing her high end clothing shop in NYC due to Covid; hand made with the best quality fabrics you can get!…..deeeeep sale on very expensive bespoke items (suit jacket usually $1200 now $400); just thought I’d share here since so many go getters in the group.
Investment pieces.
I’m very much so a quality vs quantity minimalist – so I really don’t mind the price.
I understand not everyone will feel this way ? and that’s OK!
I have a jacket and skirt from Dara which fits me like a glove and I just ordered the sheath dress).
Can’t share link for some reason so just Google Dara Lamb
Anonymous
I dated a guy for years that had crippling anxiety induced IBS. Him fearing not having access to a bathroom caused us to miss flights twice because the fear would cause him to need to use the bathroom. This is very much IBS and I urge your family member to seek help now. I feel strongly that if he hadn’t let the issue fester through college, grad school, and part of high school, it would have been much easier to attempt to treat.
Golden Goose
Help me understand Golden Goose sneakers.