ByKat Hours Updated
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Thursday’s TPS Report: Waffle Sweater Jacket

Skies Are Blue Waffle Sweater Jacket | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I am sweater obsessed lately. I want a long boyfriend one, a cocoon one, and a chunky-knit one… kind of exactly like this one. I like the wide open knit and the sophisticated stripes. I like it kind of as styled — a simple top beneath it and a fun pencil skirt or a sleek ankle pant. The sweater is $89 in sizes S-L at Piperlime. Skies Are Blue Waffle Sweater Jacket Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

117 Comments

  1. Cute. Too bad I’m on a buying freeze. Poll for you ladies- what percentage of your work wardrobe would you say you regularly use, and roughly how many of each type of item do you have?

    2. Probably about 90-95 percent now that I have a spreadsheet and regular audit of orphans to be purged out, but I will say the 10-20 percent I really like get more frequent wear than the rest. About 5 skirts, 8-9 jackets (some seasonal), 10 button-downs, 5-6 soft silk or silky shells, a few cardigans (could use 1-2 winter ones), and about 10-12 dresses, mostly sheaths. Oh, and a few pairs of dress pants (4-5) but I rarely wear those as I prefer skirts and dresses.

      1. Do you input what you wear each day into the spreadsheet to track what you do and don’t wear? This sounds like a good concept, and I’m trying to do the cost/benefit analysis.

        1. I actually plan out about 4-5 weeks in advance without repeating outfits, then copy and paste and make minor adjustments by switching out combinations. I check it before the week begins against the weather forecast (if we are having a heat wave, rain, or a cold snap I adjust accordingly). I also adjust for situations, like if I have a class to teach or a presentation or meeting where I am at the podium and need an extra boost of confidence, I will wear one of my favorite outfits or colors that I feel more confident in. I’ve done this now for about 4 months and it takes a lot of the stress out of getting dressed in the morning because I just set out what is on the schedule for the next day. Sometimes I will still switch some items around after I’m dressed, and then update the spreadsheet so I remember which combination worked better. It sounds like a lot of work written out this way, but it really takes very little time — much less time than stumbling around in the morning trying to decide what to wear without waking up my husband… I also have a sidebar column with notes of items to give away or get repaired or cleaned or gaps that have become apparent. Like right now, I really really need a pair of grey booties.

    3. I’d say I use about 50%, not counting seasonal items that I rotate in and out.

      Things I tend to never wear: cotton button down shirts, “fun” blazers (did I really need a polka dot jacket?), a few old suits I never liked that much to begin with that I feel bad getting rid because I “might” need them in the event I have to wear a suit every day, certain sweaters and tees that I bought on sale because I “always” need more sweaters and tees but I don’t really like these so I never actually wear them.

      Things I wear all the time: two favorite suits, sheath dresses, silky blouses, long(ish) black and navy v-neck cardigans, my favorite black blazer.

      2. I saw a woman on the train wearing a polka dot coat that looked amazing. I wanted to ask her where she got it but didn’t get the chance.

          1. Not that one. It looked like a lightweight wool and was a white background with black dots that were really close together. It almost looked like houndstooth out of the corner of my eye but was dots on closer inspection.

    4. One of my goals for the next year (I just had a birthday, so I have a new set of goals for the year) is to only own clothes I love so I can always wear clothes I love. It will involve a lot of getting rid of stuff and a little bit of buying new stuff.

      1. Do it! I pared down my wardrobe to a much smaller collection of pieces that i really like, are all “me”, and that i wear all the time. I wear everything in my closet. And if something doesnt suit me anymore, it immediately gets sold/donated/made into rags.

    5. I would say I use 90% of my work wardrobe on a regular basis. This is the result of several things, including me being really broke for a number of years and trying to only buy items that I love and wear frequently.

      I also looked at the items that made me feel great and bought similar ones. Consequently, a rough mental estimation of my professional wardrobe is as follows:

      (Workplace is a modified business professional in colder months, dressy business casual in the summer- also, I live in a place with 4 distinct seasons).

      -3 All Season suits (grey, navy, subtle pinstripe) 1 summer suit, 2 winter suits
      -3 wrap/faux wrap dresses (3/4 or long sleeved), 2 sleeveless sheaths, 3 summer dresses
      -3 pairs dress pants (camel, grey and black), 2 pencil skirts and 2 ‘fun’ summer skirts
      -Roughly 9 tops of various sorts,6 cardigans, and 3 lightweight sweaters

      I wear a lot of scarves and belts to try to style the outfits differently. Right now, I really need to upgrade my shoes as I only have 5 pair of work shoes (black heels, nude heels, brown peep toe heels, dressy flats, wedge heel booties). I’ve decided I need a pair of grey suede pumps for the winter.

    6. I have just done an experiment to see how long I could go without repeating clothes. Moved all my clothes to one side of my closet and then moved them to the other side as I wore them. I went about four weeks — had to repeat pants a couple of times — what’s left on the other side is mostly tops/blouses, skirts that will fit if I ever lose 10 pounds, and a couple of suits. Probably won’t get rid of the 10-pound-skirts because they are nice quality, and I probably will get rid of some of the tops.

      From that experiment, I am wearing about 50% of my clothes regularly (25% of my jackets/tops/suits and 100% of my pants/skirts/dresses). I estimate I regularly wear: 7 skirts, 5 pair pants, 10 blouses/tops, 7 cardigans, 5 dresses, 5 jackets.

      I love wearing pants/dress/skirt with a non-suit jacket, but it’s hard for me to find cute jackets that fit well and are flattering. I am tall and longwaisted. I used to get cute jackets from Ann Taylor and occasionally find them from Boden now.

      1. You can also do this by flipping your hangers to see what you actually wear. lifehacker.com/288784/mark-what-clothing-you-havent-worn-with-hangers

        1. I’m thinking I really need to do this, but then I wonder if it will help because I’ve gotten pretty good at cleaning out clothes I don’t wear, so now I only have clothes in my closet that I actually wear, but many many many of those get worn maybe 1-2x per season, and I have way too many clothes to be wearing so many of them so infrequently. (Things that are either a little too small or a little too big for my size right now go to an extra closet in the basement.)

          I feel bad getting rid of things that I do actually wear, but I also feel frustrated that I have so many clothes in my closet but so many things are limited wear. Ex – I can only wear certain blouses tucked in, but I don’t like to tuck and have very few pants/skirts into which I tuck thing, but all these shirts get worn a few times a year. I never wear one a particular blouse except with a certain vintage suit, but I do wear that suit/blouse combo at least once a month in the winter. I have another blouse that is stained so I only wear in under other things, but it works perfectly in a particular sweater-blouse-skirt combo that I actually do wear several times per winter. Probably close to 50% of my closet (maybe more?) has limitations like this.

          I really dislike having so many limited use items, but I also don’t want to discard clothes that I really do wear, just to have to spend time and money finding and buying more versatile items to replace them. Also, I actually have more than sufficient closet space, because that was a priority when I moved a few years ago, so my desire to pare down isn’t forced by lack of space, but driven by a desire to only have clothes that I love and wear frequently.

    7. I can’t remember why but I once needed my husband to bring me an outfit and it was something I didn’t want to wear, didn’t like or didn’t fit. His very reasonable response was “why is it in your closet then?” From that point I approached my closet with the mindset “could someone grab this and bring it to me and I would be happy?” If not, it got donated. If it was because I might lose/gain weight, it went into a closet in a spare room. My next step will be to also move out of season clothes to a spare room. I think it is a great test.

    8. I use about 70% or so, and of that I’ll wear almost all of it year round. The rest is currently closet art.

    9. All of it (accounting for season), not counting the 2-3 outfits that I keep on hand for the rare occasion that I need to be business formal. I get rid of what doesn’t get worn.

      My business casual (emphasis on casual) wardrobe includes: 2-3 pants, 2 skirts, 3-4 dresses, ~6 shell/sleeveless tops, ~6 sleeved wear-on-their-own tops/sweaters, and 3-4 cardigans. Plus scarves, shoes (~4 pair), tights/hose, and jewelry, obviously.

    10. I probably wear 30-40%? Some due to size (trying to lose the tubs), some due to season.

      Pants: 5 pairs, but only 3 I can wear right now (sigh, pant size)
      Skirts: 2, but I rarely wear
      Blazers: 5ish? I rotate between 2-3 very once in a while (I work in business casual)
      Tops: 15-20? (includes sweaters, button-downs)
      Dresses: 0! hahahahaha
      Coats: 2 wool jackets, 2 peacoats, 1 trench, 1 casual spring/fall jacket, 2 rain-proof

  2. “Hand wash.” — This sweater is suddenly much less appealing to me!

    1. I usually put hand wash stuff in a lingerie bag and wash it normally. Then I pull it out when the rest of the stuff goes in the dry and lay it flat. Now it’s basically no more work than normal machine wash stuff.

      2. Ditto. I would only actually hand wash with my hands if the item had a particularly delicate weave.

        1. Well, the sweater shown doesn’t have a delicate weave, but it’s loosely knit, and cotton, so it could possibly lose its shape. However, I’d certainly risk it. Usually I hand wash a “hand wash” item the first few times, then I don’t care as much and go the delicate/machine route. Instead of a lingerie bag I often use a pillow protector (the kind with a zipper).

      3. I agree with the lingerie bag and I make sure to use cool water.

        However, I’ve given up on cotton sweaters for work. No matter the quality, they usually stretch out and or look faded too soon.

        1. I don’t do cotton at all – they never keep me warm, which is usually the point of a sweater for me. It’s wool, all the way (though I will do wool blends with other fibers. But it has to have the wool).

  3. We are moving into our first house next week! Any advice for closing and/or for first time homeowners? Thanks!

    1. First time homeowner tip: Find out where the water main is, and where you shut it off coming into the house. I’ve needed that information rarely, but when I needed it, I REALLY needed it. Like the time my husband was sawing into the drywall and cut right through a water line. Because, you know, he’s a husband. ;-)

      1. Yes — totally agree. If you were present during your home inspection, the inspector can point out things like that and also:

        where the furnaces are
        where the filters are (I have been surprised)
        what filters you need
        when to replace them

        where is the breaker box and how well is is labeled

        also: is there extra paint for each color in the house that you can use to get new paint made for touchups?
        also: what finish is the paint (flat v. eggshell v. glossy v. semigloss)
        things get scuffed up in the moving process
        also: is the paint all latex or is it oil (and if it is some of each, where?)
        keeping a house bible is annoying but pays off in the end

        also: when, exactly, is your first mortgage payment due and where do you send it and what is the amount? Your closing person may point that out, but it may go by in a blur.

        1. And on that note – send in your tax forms asap! I got mine notarized at the closing location and mailed them that day — after making a pdf copy for my own use.

    2. Congrats! I just bought my first house this time last year. One thing you really want to do is find a handyman before you need him. Ask neighbors for some local recommendations. After an unfortunate DIY project (on a Sunday night) resulted in us not being able to turn our water back on – knowing someone to call was so important!

    3. Congratulations!

      1. Emotionally prepare yourself to spend far, far more money on ‘startup costs’ than you would expect. My example of this was going to Target and having to buy tons of hand soap and hand towels, as we moved from a 1 BR/1BA apartment to a 4BR/2.5BA house.

      2. Find a good, trustworthy person at your local hardware store. My paint lady is named Sheila (and she never steers me wrong) and my husband is now friends with all the guys at the local plumbing supply store (they like him so they give him the contractor discount. I don’t fight it.).

      3. Get someone to take a picture of you in front of your new house on the day you move. I wish we’d done this.

      4. Make sure you have an ‘open me first’ box. It should include: Paper towels, windex or other cleaning spray, toilet paper, shower curtain/towel/soap/shampoo, Coffee and coffeemaker, paper plates and silverware and whatever else you consider ‘essential’.

      5. Don’t let your mother in law decide to ‘helpfully pack’ a number of items you were intentionally leaving out in random bags that she then throws in the back of the moving van. Particularly not helpful when she puts the keys to said moving van in one of the aforementioned random bags.

      6. Smile, relax, and celebrate this huge accomplishment. We hung out with friends while moving, drank wine and beer and seltzer and just enjoyed ourselves. It was great.

      1. Regarding #1: I did this with all of my coupons in tow at Bed Bath & Beyond. A week later I was at Homegoods and found much of the same stuff for cheaper — even with the coupons! So I re-bought them, returned the others, and saved $200!

      2. +1. This is all fantastic advice and right on point (ESPECIALLY the ‘open first’ box!).

    4. Have the house deep cleaned before you move in. Even if it looks broom clean, if someone hasn’t been dusting or sweeping for a few weeks, it can get a little grimy. I like to get new toilet seats too.

      Think about re-keying the locks or adding a security system if the home doesn’t already have one.

      If you can swing it, paint before you move your stuff in.

      As much as you may love painting, doing a whole house at night after work is not realistic for two 60+ hour-a-week workers. We completely burnt ourselves out and had to hire someone to finish the ceilings, doors and trim. He was done in two days, where it took us two weeks to do all the walls. We didn’t save much money doing it ourselves either after accounting for supplies.

      I wanted to ditch all the old Ikea/hand-me-down furniture, but we moved all the necessary pieces in. I’m slowly buying furniture to fill the house piece by piece, and it is much more enjoyable than the pressure of decorating the whole thing at once.

      If you are moving from the city to the burbs, consider other things you will may need to buy: garden hose, ladder, lawnmower, weedwhacker, gas can for said lawnmower and weedwhacker, etc. We lived at Home Depot for a few weekends filling in the gaps.

      Things to move and set up first: bed with sheets (even if you don’t get around to putting together the headboard and frame for a while), shower curtain, overnight bag with toiletries/medications, frying pan, spatula and pot. Being able to make a quick pasta/omlette was a nice change from delivery pizza.

      1. +1000 on having the house cleaned before you move in. It’s so much easier to clean thoroughly when it’s empty.

        1. Yes! And you definitely don’t want to put your stuff in somebody else’s dirt. Better to start over and make your own dirt! ;)

      2. My inspector gave me a great tip on my first move from condos/apartments to a free-standing house – buy shovels and rakes and such at garage and estate sales. You can frequently find them in pretty good condition for way less than buying this stuff new.

        Also agree with the deep cleaning, and completing paining before moving in. Definitely also complete any refinishing of hardwood floors that you plan to do soon (and do both before deep cleaning). Those are both a pain to do once your furniture is in b/c they make such a mess.

      3. How many of you have a deep clean done before moving into an apartment? I am usually grossed out by the state of apartments I move into, and don’t like wasting the first hour scrubbing it down, so this last move I hired housekeepers to do a move in clean. But the unit ended up being in really good shape, and it felt pretty wasteful to pay $150 for a 2 person, 2 hour deep clean when the apartment then got completely filthy again with sweaty movers tracking in dirt on their shoes and whatever was on the furniture from the truck and ground if they had to set it down first. After that, I feel like my money would be better spent on a deep clean after everything is moved in.

  4. Interesting article in the NY Times today about managing chauvinists as a female boss – the writer doesn’t seem to have any answers, and as I’ve thought about it more, I’m realizing I don’t either. I’m not really manager-level in my career yet, but I’d like to get there, and I’ve definitely encountered folks like the interviewee described in the article in my field. I have no idea what I’d do with this guy (and others like him) if I had to manage them. Thoughts from the hive?

    http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/10/02/when-women-manage-men-in-tech/?rref=homepage&module=Ribbon&version=origin&region=Header&action=click&contentCollection=Home%20Page&pgtype=article

      1. Eh, I work in tech and we wouldn’t hire this guy. There’s no need to dance around it – if we think someone sounds like a douchebag, they’re not a good fit for our organization of non-douches. Most technical skills can be learned pretty easily.

    2. Yay! I love sweater jacket’s but this is not formal enough for me to wear to court, Kat!!! It is cute, so I would recomend it for peeople who have more causal-dress policie’s.

      As for the OP, yes, it is dificult when you are a female, and have to manage men that just look at you like sex objects or women who are onley in the job b/c the firm needed to show that they have women in high places, like me at my firm, now a PARTNER, and also manageing a MAN attorney (who is not even admitted in NY, it turns out, and who look’s at me just like Lynn, an assistant who he has sex with).

      The way to deal here is to make sure the guy knows that he MUST look at you as his superior, and NOT to let him get away with sexueal references that dumm you down in his mind and the mind’s of anyone else listening. Yes, it is true that in some cases, women are put into job’s for reasons NOT 100% releated to their ability — but this happens ALL THE TIME with men so why should we be singeled out and prejudiced for what society does all the time? I cant tell you how many times I, a woman, have reported to a man who was a complete DOOSH, and I was alot smarter then he was, yet HE was the boss and I had to buckel under to that. Well, HELLO, once in a while the shoe is on the other foot, and for those case’s where a dumm woman is above a man, he has to respect and live with that! FOOEY on men who can NOT understand that! FOOEY!

      That is why I do NOT, even in a personal sense, let men take advantage of me. I will NOT be meek with any man just to let him feel superor to me. We women need to always remember that we have power and we should NEVER hesitetate to EXERECISE that power over men who are dooshes! YAY!!!!!

    3. If a talented candidate displayed overt racism in an interview, would you still hire him? Of course not – it’s socially unacceptable to be openly racist, and it will lose you the job. This should be no different. It is socially unacceptable to be chauvinist, or it should be, and this kind of behavior needs to be punished and not rewarded.

    4. I tell you what, if I ever came across her (the CEO), I wouldn’t hire her either! She wants to put this guy in front of partners/customers?! That is one of the stupidest lapses of judgement ever. The only people he is going to “charm” are other men like him, who, thankfully, are the minority in most businesses. Normal professional men don’t find this behavior any more cute than a woman would. There is a very high chance that he is going to offend multiple internal/external customers.

    5. Okay, so I definitely agree about not hiring the particular d-bag interviewed, but what do you do if you inherit a team that includes a guy like this (probably the more likely scenario for the average non-company-owner, non-company-founder worker bee)? I’d imagine if he’s already on the team, you’re probably in an office that doesn’t particularly care about preventing/policing this kind of behavior – so then what? In an ideal universe, you make a case for firing chauvinist-dude-bro because duh, but what if you don’t have the institutional support you need to fire the guy?

      I haven’t encountered a million of these dudes, but I’ve worked in four different settings now, and the three before my current office all had at least one example of “that guy” roaming the halls, so it’s hardly an uncommon behavioral/belief pattern. I guess I’m thinking more about what happens when “that guy” is already present. So far, my answer has been “go work elsewhere,” and I think I’ve finally landed somewhere where I’m free of “that guy,” but it’s frustrating that “that guy” gets to just run around being himself with no repercussions, while I have to be the one to leave if I want a tolerable work environment, you know?

      1. If you inherit a team and you are his supervisor, you tell him that he’s acting inappropriately and start documenting it. If you don’t have institutional support to fire him after documenting that he can’t work well with women, your problem is no longer with that guy, but with *your* management, and to me, that’s a reason to leave in itself.

        If you end up working with “that guy” as a peer, though… I would love to hear some ideas for solutions. There’s actually one of these in my office at the moment. We are peers, but he is in a supervisory position and it makes me so angry that women I like have to work with/for him, and that the younger guys in the office are seeing this example as acceptable management. So far I’ve been very disappointed in the upper management’s inability to deal with the problem (they are definitely aware of it), and it’s a contributing factor to me very seriously considering going elsewhere. Then I feel like I’m running away from a problem instead of trying to be part of the solution, though.

  5. My boyfriend and I have been been experiencing extremely itchy skin that seems to become a lot worse when in contact with water in our apartment. There isn’t really visible irritation, but the itching is fairly severe. I called the city and was told that hydrants in our region were flushed a few days ago and that that could be the problem. I’ve never heard of anything like that – has anyone else? Has anyone experienced weird water-related itching? I’m currently at a loss to explain what it could be!

    1. I’ve never heard of a sensitivity to municipal water, but I guess it’s possible. Are you absolutely sure you haven’t used a new brand of anything like soap, dish detergent, shampoo, lotion? I feel silly making the suggestion but it’s possible there’s something you’ve overlooked.

      1. Maybe not even a new brand, it’s possible one of your usual brands tweaked the recipe and it’s causing irritation.

    2. We haven’t used anything new at all and while I won’t discount the possibility that there could be something on the towels (I hope not, but I guess you never know), the problem happens even with rinsing dishes at the sink. I originally thought it was just the seasons changing, but it’s been raining in my city all week and it doesn’t seem like the air is particularly drying. I know this is bizarre, but ugh…

    3. Also this may be obvious but maybe change all sheets and wash in hot water, and inspect for critters if you haven’t already.
      Hard water may worsen a rash or eczema rather than be the original cause.

    4. I have major sensitivities to different water sources–highly recommend getting an “Aquasana” water filter on Amazon.

    5. Run the shower for awhile tonight to help flush out your pipes/shower heads. Then soak the shower heads in CLR.

  6. Question/Poll about Hair Washing:

    1. What type/length hair do you have?
    2. How often do you wash your hair?
    3. How do you extend time between washings?

    I have medium length, naturally wavy, and relatively thick hair. I wash every other day, using dry shampoo on the second. I think I could go 3 days if I “trained” my hair or had better techniques.

    1. 1. Fine, thin hair, collar-bone length, mid-twenties (age is probably a big part of the calculus here)
      2. Every day, but sometimes I skip a day
      3. Baby powder or dry shampoo, or french braid. But my scalp always starts itching by the end of the second day…

      I have a friend who gets her hair wet but doesn’t shampoo every other day.

    2. Chin length, fine in texture, but lots of it. Very straight. Normal/oily. I have highlights.
      Daily washing in the warm months, every other day in cooler months.
      I use dry shampoo on non- wash days. I can’t go longer than two days.

    4. 1) Long, fine, and wavy
      2) Once every 7 days!
      3) Dry shampoo, but not every day. I think this is what helped me “train” my scalp to produce less oil. I use it generally every other day, letting one day go by after the weekly wash. I also wear a wide headband when working out, which surprisingly does absorb much of the sweat.

      1. I’m glad it’s not just me!

        1- I have long, fine wavy hair (but a ton of it!)
        2- Once a week
        3- As I go through the week, I go from wearing my hair down to half up to fully pulled back. I also only brush it in the morning to style and just finger comb it into a bun at night.

      2. This is exactly the kind of answer I was hoping to get when I started this thread! I’m impressed. I would really like to be able to wash my hair less… I think I’m just going to make it happen. Definitely need to buy sweat bands for working out.

      3. Also a long fine, wavy (but a lot of it).

        I wash my hair every 5th day or so. I don’t need dry shampoo in between.

        I don’t find my head sweats very much, so when I work out, as long as it is all back off my face in a bun, I’m still good. I do mainly strength training though, not much cardio.

        It generally progresses from down and wavy the first few days, to flat ironed or put up if the waves are looking frizzy on day 4 and 5.

      4. Yay!
        I have somewhat course, medium density/thickness, wavy-curly hair.

        I wash it every 5-7 days and don’t use dry shampoo. My skin and hair are naturally pretty dry and I use the curly girl method (co-wash, conditioner, leave-in, no cones/sulfates, etc.) so I don’t have issues with oiliness. I do use mousse in my hair which I think also helps prevent oiliness.

    5. 1)medium hair, currently barely hits my br@ strap in the back but I desperately need a haircut.
      2) almost always every day.
      3) dry shampoo plus an updo (usually Gibson roll or sock bun)

      As a connected question: how do you avoid washing every day if you work out every day? I swim several times a week so I need to wash to get chlorine out, and run the other days and my hair gets really sweaty. Is it possible to skip hair wash after running (to clarify: I am not asking if I can skip a shower)?

      1. Yes, I’m a regular runner and usually do a shower without hair wash. As I said above, a wide headband goes a long way. (I found that the Scunci drugstore kind are just fine.) Dry shampoo handles the rest. It’s not the same as a full wash, but I find it adequate and it does wonders for my schedule and makes running a lot easier to integrate with my workday.

      2. I think it depends mostly on your hair type (and to a lesser degree, how much you sweat). My hair looks like Minnie Driver’s hair – wearing a headband during exercise wouldnt help me at all. I need to wash after every workout or i will be a disheveled, frizzy mess!

      3. I asked my stylist about washing my hair after a run, because I don’t wash my hair everyday and I don’t need to. She said it’s fine to skip, but if I really want to do something, a simple water rinse is enough to get rid of the sweat.

    6. 1) short, thick, black Asian hair
      2) Every day
      3) Is it really bad to wash your hair every day? I can’t imagine not washing mine since I sweat like crazy when I work out + I use a styling cream type product in my hair.

      1. I’ve got short straight hair. Barely chin length. I wake up everyday with it sticking up in random directions. I just cannot go out in public without washing and blow drying. My sisters (with shoulder length hair) both shower at night, which would be ridiculous for me.

    7. Fine hair but a ton of it, so it looks thick. Naturally wavy/curly. When I wear my hair natural, it has to be washed every day. When I blow it out, I wash it about every 2 days. I think I used to be able to go 3 days when I was blowing it out all the time.

    8. I have brown hair that is very fine. And skin that is very oily. Until Heroin Chic comes back as a thing, I will be washing (with shampoo) daily. And even if it doesn’t come back, my unwashed hair wouldn’t fly in my office. I envy you folks who can skip a day or more.

      [And I’m in my 40s — I think my case of the oilies is terminal at this point.]

    9. 1) Long, thick hair that makes big waves but that I typically wear straight. Long enough to just cover my bre*sts.
      2) Every 3 days or so – I time it for my very sweaty cardio workouts and do weights/pilates the other days.
      3) Not to fuss with it too much. I don’t put any styling cream or hairspray in it when it’s still fresh. Towards the end, I just try not to touch it, but I will sometimes curl it when it’s dirty.

    10. Lots of very fine, br@strap-length hair, some layering. Naturally wavy that can be coaxed into half-hearted curls or dry straightish if I brush it continuously while it’s drying. Blow-drying, I wash every 3rd with the help of dry shampoo unless I get particularly sweaty. Naturally dried, I wash every other day. Hair training is definitely a thing, as is using a boar-hair brush to distribute the oils. If you do heavy cardio every day, and are a sweater, or swim, you probably do need to wash every day, but if you just do weights or yoga one day (which is what I do half the time), I just let the sweat dry on my scalp, use dry shampoo as necessary, and figure there’s not a lot of “stink” coming off my head.

    11. 1. Fine but really thick; about to shoulder blades. Blonde so shows pretty easily once it does get oily
      2. About every 3 days
      3. The second day actually looks better than the first (my volume can make my hair look overly fluffy, so sleeping on it smooths it out a little, and there’s no visible oil yet); day 3 I usually pull it back because it feels a little heavy to me but it doesn’t show yet. I don’t use dry shampoo–hate the feel of product in my hair. I can stretch to day 4 if necessary, but the roots are showing enough that I would typically only do this if it was a weekend errand day and I was going to wash it that night to go out.

      I run in a hot climate and do hot yoga, and I’m a naturally heavy sweater, but I can still go without a wash unless I’ve got some really special date that I want perfectly soft and girly-smelling hair for (though I should probably leave it, so the guy will be attracted to my natural musk–thanks for the tip, Tanna). I never could go without a wash after swimming though, to address the question above.

      1. Same hair, but dark. Usually 3 days between washes, though I extend that during the winter to 4 sometimes. Rarely heat dry. Second day hair is usually better than fresh washed :)

        I do braids, buns, ponytails, salt spray (instead of dry shampoo) on the roots. Job is pretty casual when it comes to dress code, though.

    12. I have chin-length, fine hair with a little bit of a wave to it.
      I wash my every 3 days on average, barring excessive sweatiness. Day 2 is always my best looking hair day. Day 3 needs dry shampoo. (Klorane all the way.) I’ve tried going to day 4 with more dry shampoo and I can kind of get away with it appearance-wise, but my scalp feels itchy and dusty and BLEAH.

    13. 1. I have medium length curly hair.
      2. I use both shampoo and conditioner once a week (or twice, if it’s in a really bad state). I use just conditioner 2 times a week. My hair doesn’t get oily so much as it gets dry; it’s needs the moisture.
      3. At most, I’ll use some morrocan or argan oil on the ends. Otherwise I put it up in a bun and don’t touch it. The less it’s touched, the less it gets frizzy and crazy looking.

    15. 1. fine hair in a short pixie cut
      2. every 3-4 days (occasionally every other day in the summer if it’s hot and I’m sweating a lot)
      3. rinse daily while showering and let air dry

      About 6 years ago, I went from being an every day washer to every 3-4 days. I “trained” my hair by first going every other day for a month or 2, then every third day and finally every 4th. I found that sometimes my hair won’t go a 4th day and still look good, so sometimes I wash on the 3rd day.

    16. 1. Naturally curly, mildly thick, 3 or so inches past my shoulder tops
      2. If it’s straightened, up to 5 or 6 days without washing. If it’s not, shampoo every 3 days.
      3. If it’s straightened, dry shampoo after day 3 or 4. If it’s not, I use the sockbun or pull it back and blow dry only the shorter pieces in the front.

      I color my hair red, so I try to get it wet and shampoo as little as possible.

    17. 1. Fine hair in a shoulder-length lob
      2. Every 3-4 days (but during trials I have gone 5 days – slightly gross, but ah well)
      3. Baby powder at the roots on the 3rd day, and dry shampoo (Batiste XXL Volume) on the 4th day

      My hair looks best on the 3rd day. I used to have shoulder-blade-length hair and absolutely, positively did not believe people who said their hair looked better the day after washing, but I’ve found it to be true since cutting my hair short.

    18. 1. Thick, coarse, wavy, hard to manage shoulder length
      2. Every other day
      3. My second day is actually just like my first day, just with flatter hair – which I appreciate since my hair can get pretty frizzy/big on day 1!

  7. Just starting a new relationship, and I’m finding I’m a lot more reserved than my SO, and not sure how to navigate that. He used the bathroom (#1) while I was in the shower last night, which really weirded me out, because I’ve never been in the same room with an SO using the bathroom (1 or 2). When I brought it up, he said it wasn’t a big deal, and seemed incredulous I would be weirded out. He gets really excited when I suggest we do something homey, like cooking dinner, while I’d generally rather get drinks or go out. We’ve been dating for about a month, and this seems relevant – he just got out of a serious, live-in relationship two months before we met. I also ended a serious relationship recently, but I’ve never lived with an SO.

    I know different people have different boundaries, but how do I navigate this with mutual satisfaction and the least amount of awkwardness?

    1. He should respect your feelings about the bathroom, unless it was an emergency. I’d think that even if you have different views on whether it’s appropriate, he should be able to deal with this restriction.

      In terms of homebody vs. going out, people have different styles, and maybe in this area you’re not entirely compatible. That doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker, but it’s something that needs to be discussed.

    2. Yea, I have sometimes done that (#1) while my SO is in the shower but only if I really can’t wait– I don’t make it a habit. It certainly would not have happened a month into dating. I think you should make it clear that you’re uncomfortable with that happening and ask him to please stop for now.

      Your other issue is very separate. My SO likes to stay home– he would do so 95% of the time if he could. I’m more like 70% home 30% going out. So we compromise– it’s a nice, exciting thing for me when we do go out for drinks or dinner (probably 3-4 times x month) and he knows it makes me happy, so he doesn’t mind. I don’t know if you’ve made clear exactly what your issue is here, but I think it’s all about compromise.

    3. Speaking from experience, I do think this is cause for concern given that he just got out of a live-in relationship. Years ago I was in a similar situation, and once I got some hindsight (after we broke up) it was obvious that the guy was just trying to plug me in right where his ex had been–doing all the things with me that he used to do with her, and oblivious to cues that I had different wishes. I think if you’d rather he not use the toilet while you shower, and prefer going out to staying in, you should stand by those needs. He will either correct course or, by failing to do so, demonstrate that he’s not ready to be with someone new. Good luck!

      2. This is more addressing what I was worried about. It feels like he’s ready to move in and get a cat together.

        I think I’m going to make it a point to have specific date activities, put the brakes on a little bit, and if he doesn’t like it, cut my losses.

        1. My now husband had just come out of a long term, live-in relationship when I met him. I did feel like he was trying to “plug me in”, and it was weird.

          I felt like he was “the guy” (not that there is just one guy), but something was off.

          We actually ended up breaking up.

          We got back together about 5 months later and it was totally different.

          1. Thanks, Suzi. I feel like there’s potential here, but he’s entirely too casual about a lot things I reserve for committed, serious relationships.

        2. I had a similar issue with my current partner of 6 years when we first started dating. We had both recently come out of long term relationship, but him much more recently than me and it seemed like he was much more ready to jump right back into the super couple-y kind of stuff, and it was too much for me. We talked about it and slowed things down and it did work out, but it was an issue we had to address in our first 2-3 months of dating.

    4. Is your preference for going out something you like in the early stages of a relationship, and then as you get more comfortable you settle into a mix of going out and hanging out at home? Or do you still prefer to go out most of the time even when you’ve been with someone a long time?

      I feel like the former is very common in relationships, and it sounds like he may not be following that because of what Monday mentioned–trying to jump too quickly back to the familiarity and settled routine that he had before. If that’s the case, I’d say push the going out just to slow him down a bit. Speaking from experience, he *thinks* he wants the familiarity, but at some point he is going to have a realization that he is wearing a frilly apron in a Friday night candlemaking class with a girl he just met 5 weeks ago, and freak out wondering how things got so serious so quickly–at that point, he may run and in his mind it is all your fault for pushing him too fast (men, ugh…). If you see long-term potential in this guy, better to slow things down at the beginning and let him get his feet under him, and let the coupley stuff develop naturally vs. just being an automatic response from being in a long term relationship recently.

      If it’s more just a case of you being more outgoing and him being a homebody, that’s a totally different issue and I don’t have much to add to what tesyaa and NYtoCO said above.

      1. I definitely love being domestic after I’m dating a guy for a good while – I just don’t want us to immediately rush to the Friday night Netflix stage. And I love the description of the Friday night candlemaking class with the frilly apron!

  8. This might be a longshot but has anyone ever hired a dressmaker in NYC?

    I found an amazing wedding dress on Etsy but I’m too nervous to order it online. There are some changes that I’d want to ask the designer to make anyway so I’m wondering if I could hire someone to make something somewhat similar for me. I’m doing research on Google but would love a personal recommendation if anyone has one.

      1. Thanks for the link. It would be about the same trip for me to Vancouver where the original designer is based, both of which are sadly not possible. The dress is already over my budget and adding a trip to get it would just be way too much.

  9. I tried to post this the other day, but it seemed to get lost for good. Do any of you dry-skinned ladies use a drugstore brand foundation or tinted moisturizer that you like? I’ve used a couple of pricier brands that I liked (recently, Laura Mercier and before that, Ole Henricksen), but I’m in $-saving mode and wondering if this is a product that can be just a good from the drugstore. Any tips or recommendations?

    1. I found that Physician’s Formula tinted moisturizer was comparable to my usual Aveda, but the packaging is terrible. It leaked from the outset and then just busted open once when I was traveling. If I were to buy it again I’d make sure I had a different bottle and transfer it in.

      1. I liked this too and packaging was OK for me. Maybe it was a different one? Organicwear Natural Origin Tinted Moisturizer?

    2. I love Dr. Jart at Sephora. It covers better than some foundations I’ve tried and I’m lucky that it’s a perfect match for my skin tone. I also use argan oil before applying. I haven’t found a tinted moisturizer that’s sufficient on it’s own for my skin.

    3. This might not be a direct answer to your question, but I actually found that switching to a good BB cream (Dr. Jart) saved me money – my old routine was SPF moisturizer, primer, foundation, concealer, and setting powder. Now I’m just down to moisturizer and BB cream. Since each $40 bottle of BB cream lasts me 4 months, I’m ending up spending only about $10/month on foundation, which was cheaper than when I was buying all that drugstore stuff.

      So anyhoo, this is just a long-winded way of staying that you might actually be able to save money using a nicer product if you find one that is better/lasts longer and you’re willing to pay more upfront.

      1. I will second the fact that Dr. Jart lasts forever…. although I wish it didn’t! I got it a year ago and remember liking it, but now it makes me look really ashy and washed out (this is one of those..what was I thinking last year? moments) so I’d recommend trying it on in store and seeing if you like it. I apply one pump of the product with a spherical-ish makeup sponge which goes on smoothly and you don’t need very much product at all.

        1. or if you buy at sephora you can return it if you try it and don’t like it. They can also give you a couple of days worth of samples to try.

    4. I love Khiel’s Panthenol cream–it has gotten me through several winters and last winter’s jar is still half full. At $26 or so., it’s quite affordable.

      I don’t think tinted moisturizer by itself is sufficient to moisturize…

  10. I just bought this jacket http://www.talbots.com/online/browse/product_details.jsp?id=prdi33592&N=4294966578+10229&selectedConcept=Misses in this color: http://www.talbots.com/online/browse/product_details.jsp?zoomImage=43019024_7514&id=prdi33456&N=4294966578+10229&selectedConcept=Misses

    I’m in my early 30s and now that I have it home….I can’t figure out how to style it without making myself look frumpy. Style suggestions? Returning is still an option.

    1. If you can do biz casual: Dark jeans, cream colored blouse and long gold necklace

      For a more formal office, I’d sub light gray pants for the jeans.

      Pretty color!

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