Coffee Break: Ilana Coat

130 Comments

1. is anyone on a medium dose of zepbound from eli lily (not the first 2)? does it still come in the dumb multiple vials?

   1. Not an answer to your question, but the multiple use pen is waiting for FDA approval in the U.S. It’s already in use in other places, including Canada and Mexico.

2. Beautiful color for the coat, but I will get it smudged with something or other after one wear.

   I also don’t like black for wool coats. They feel too bleak and solemn. Funereal.

   What are your preferred colors for wool coats?

   I prefer camel and red.

   1. to me this is a coat that someone can wear on tv, but not in real life

      1. I have found the hard way that I either need a tan trench coat or a black coat. I will smudge through any other solid color coat in a heartbeat. Sadly. I cannot have nice things in bad weather.

      2. I agree. Olivia Pope would look amazing but I would look like I was in a bathrobe.

   2. I had a cream coat in my 20s and it actually stayed surprisingly nice and white, and I’m not an excessively clean and neat person. I did commute by car which I think is a big factor.

      1. I think this and living where it rarely snows is why I have also been able to keep a cream coat pretty clean. This one somehow seems even less forgiving than the one I have, though.

   3. I can’t do a belt—it looks dumpy on me.

   4. Deep raspberry, emerald green, rich plum purple. Basically saturated jewel tones.

      1. This. Eggplant and forest green for me.

   5. My workhorse coat is camel, and I have a slightly lighter (material) red coat that I wear around the holidays, but isn’t as warm as the camel. I’m kind of looking for a gray coat.

      1. Pendleton?

   6. I love a cream coat but I have a coat collection. It’s definitely an occasion coat color.

3. I work on a team that is mostly remote. A couple of times a year we are all summoned to the office at the same time for “all-hands week.” The last two of these turned out to be superspreader events that got at least half of the staff sick. The first time the big boss was the culprit. The second time, patient zero was a staff member who was leading a two-day meeting with outside guests that was part of the week. Both were quite ill (big boss probably had Covid because that’s what the rest of the staff came down with; other guy was out sick for a week after the event), but neither masked for fear of offending conservative stakeholders. Is this now accepted behavior, and is submitting to illness an expected sacrifice for staff? I always mask at these events and take my food outside the meeting room, and even skipped a “mandatory” large group dinner because people were obviously ill, but it still doesn’t seem fair for people to demand that the rest of the staff tolerate their germs, especially for 8 – 12 hours a day in a small meeting room with meals.

   1. You’re making a lot of pronouncements. You are an epidemiologist?

      1. It’s common sense…

      2. Are you an epidemiologist? It defies logic to say that it’s safe to be confined in a room all day with an unmasked sick person.

         1. There are unmasked sick people everywhere you go including the grocery store, airport, etc. There actually isn’t strong correlation between how symptomatic you are and how infectious you are. With many viruses including flu, people are the most contagious before they show any symptoms, and the loudest and most obviously sick people are often in the post-viral cough stage and not contagious anymore.

            1. 8 hours in a conference room is quite different from passing strangers briefly in a grocery store. Where I am, most grocery store employees still mask.

            2. Wow, I have not seen routine masking since 2022, except in airports and even there it’s maybe 10% of people wearing masks at the most. If I saw someone in a mask at the grocery store I would assume they were sick and give them a wide berth (which to be fair, they probably want either way).

   2. My work has recently brought in a crazy conservative boss who counts hours of butts in seats, no more WFH when you’re sick. The whole building is a vector for illness now.

      1. You work for RFK Jr, too??

   3. I mean, yes, if you are in the USA, much of the country is currently operating on fear of offending conservative stakeholders, and the prevailing sentiment on infectious disease is that the types of people who are most susceptible to harm are dragging the rest of us down anyway, so even if we 100% know how to prevent transmission, it’s not worth bothering to do so even in most healthcare settings, let alone your office space.

      It’s okay not to share those values, but I think you need to be happy if your own masking is allowed and if you were able to access vaccines this year. But if you want to rock the boat, maybe make sure that meeting room has adequate ventilation and isn’t filling up with CO2 the whole time you’re in there.

   4. I have two kids who take the bus to school and eat there. With teachers, other staff, and many other kids. I shop in a grocery store. I travel for work, including traveling by plane. This whole line of thinking seems so odd to me.

      1. Very different than overpacked rooms for hours and hours with people who are clearly very ill. Same happened at my company in February and it wrecked my vacation after. It sucks. I’m somebody who regularly goes to conferences, but I still sometimes mask on planes depending on my plans and if someone around me seems ill.

   5. Think pre-covid – it was always normal to go to work with a cold because we, the United States, have a tough-it-out mentality combined with an appalling lack of sick leave. We’re just reverting to type. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t inconsiderate then and inconsiderate now.

      1. Agreed. It’s too bad the US didn’t keep up with masking when feeling unwell. It’s such an easy task to keep other folks from getting sick and protecting people with weakened immune systems/caregivers.

      2. +1

   6. I think it’s pretty typical that an employer would frown upon an employee missing a twice yearly meeting unless you were severely ill with something like confirmed flu, Covid or a gastro bug. If it was a weekly or even monthly meeting hopefully there’s more room to stay home with a mild cold. I do think anyone who’s sick with even a mild cold should wear a mask but unfortunately that opinion is far from universal.

   7. I wonder what you must think about me. Long-term ENT patient. Not sick with anything I could share with you. If I cough or sneeze or look ill to you, what do you think you know about me? Do you glare? Do you make comments? Should I have to share my health history with everyone around me now?

   8. The references to patient zero and blaming big boss for all of this is … really weird.

      1. Big boss and the other sick person both bragged about being in the early stages of a serious illness with fever, in a “look how dedicated I am” sort of way.

         1. The people bragging about coming to work unmasked and with a fever are exceptionally inconsiderate at best. I don’t think it’s ok.

            Even if they felt they couldn’t stay home, they could at least put on a high filtration mask like an N95. Big boss was probably in a position to arrange for air purifiers, windows open to allow ventilation, etc.

            I think you’re right to mask around these folks. I hope you stay healthy! I also hope you can find a new workplace with folks who don’t go around knowingly infecting people.

   9. Separate from the question of whether it *should* be, I think it *is* accepted behavior in the US in 2025 to come to work with a cold/minor illness even if contagious — especially for a long-planned in-person workshop (it can actually be easier to stay home sick on a “regular work day” if you’re mostly in person). There’s also a weird dynamic where some people don’t want to wear masks because then you’re basically saying “hey, I came in sick!” so you offend both anti-mask people and anti-coming-while-sick people.

      The only thing that stands out to me is the guy who was out for a whole week after leading the event – that does kind of sound like the serious-illness level that it would be ok to stay home for at a lot of companies, and it might be worth thinking about cross training and contingency plans if truly no one could have covered for him. But maybe it was something that seemed like a minor illness but turned into pneumonia.

   10. Perhaps if you got out of your house more often, you would have a better immune system to fight off whatever virus is floating around.

       1. That’s not how the immune system works.

          1. In fact, it is.

             1. Unless you literally mean adequate vitamin D levels from sunlight, it’s really not. Watch the Kurzgesagt overview if you don’t understand immunity or vaccines.

   11. What answer are you looking for here? Permission to skip the meetings with no consequences? We can’t give that to you. Telling your co-workers to wear masks? We can’t do that. Telling you, “yes, submitting to illness is expected sacrifice for staff,” to validate how oppressed you are? Telling you “no, that’s not expected at all, it’s not fair, and your company is mean and no other company would ever do this,” to validate your rage?

       Public shaming of others who are compelled to appear at these important all-hands weeks but who you believe should stay home? Not really sure I’m prepared to do that on this version of the facts. If big boss and person leading two day meeting with outsiders just cancelled, that would be pretty disruptive to the events, no? Maybe we should assume good intentions that that they were trying their best to carry on with an important event and believed in good faith that they weren’t contagious.

       1. So many grievances would be avoided if we just assumed good intentions.

   12. I’m grateful everyone doesn’t mask at events. I’m happy those days are gone (and I’m a democrat). Your actions sound extreme to me.

       1. I didn’t come home from the events sick and many others did, so I think my masking was quite justified. Clearly I am in the minority, though, since you and everyone else here thinks I should just have let myself get sick, which for me inevitably leads to bronchitis or pneumonia.

          I don’t get the rationale behind presenteeism. It’s bad for business to get half your staff sick so they all miss a week or more of work!

          1. Unless you are independently wealthy, you are always going to be at the mercy of the whims of people who pay you. That’s life. This doesn’t even sound that bad. Lots of worse stuff out there.

          2. I don’t think being exposed to germs automatically makes people sick. Germs are part of life. That’s why we have an immune system.

             1. I see this place has been brainwashed by MAHA.

             2. There definitely are germs that are part of life, but the pathogens that do make most people sick are obviously different from those, and can actually worsen immunity, so it’s better for anyone to avoid them.

                (You may also be surprised how many people don’t have a fully functional immune system and are not part of your “we” to begin with!)

             3. Superspreader events don’t have to be part of life.

             4. Superspreader events meaning people in an office and conferences? Yes, those are going to be a part of life. If you don’t want them to be a part of your life, then make choices accordingly. But it’s not unreasonable to have events that involve gathering lots of people in one place.

             5. Clearly the germs people were exposed to did in fact make people sick. Are we really doubting whether infectious diseases are contagious?

             6. This is a crazy take.

          3. What on earth? No one thinks you should have “let yourself get sick.” Would you have suggested that the all-hands week be cancelled because someone had a cold?

          4. I am really dismayed that people are just ignoring the risks of multiple Covid infections. I still mask because I have people around me who were really healthy who got brain fog.

       2. Consider that there’s some overlap between people who go out of their way to take mostly remote positions and people who have not bounced back physically to the point of being able to handle infections (wouldn’t it be nice if it were just safe now!). OP is out of touch, but many highly vulnerable people need employment, so it would help if accessibility were a bigger priority.

          1. “People who have not bounced back physically to the point of being able to handle infections”–being sick is unpleasant and disruptive for everyone! Why should we be deliberately exposing ourselves to illness when there are easy ways to mitigate the risk (such as requiring sick employees to stay home or at least mask), whether or not we are “vulnerable”?

             1. PPE works better with higher standards of indoor air quality. A lot of people are contagious before they know they’re sick, and even healthcare workers failed at wearing masks properly, so I think advocacy for source control isn’t likely to make a huge difference, and it’s a big ask. I would focus on advocating for better standards of ventilation and filtration so that your mask is more likely to protect you. Cleaner air with less CO2 build up benefits everyone in a space.

          2. The callousness towards disabled and immunocompromised people is a little alarming. Admittedly I probably wasn’t the most aware before a relative developed a chronic illness but I certainly wasn’t taking shots at people with compromised immune systems.

   13. I know you are getting a lot of flak, but I have a personal story. My ex husband is required to attend an all hands meeting ever year the week before Christmas. Last year, he and a bunch of his colleagues caught Covid. He missed Christmas with the kids, his family celebrations, and his 50th birthday party. It was such a bummer for him. He was alone for 2 weeks recovering.

       I think it’s normal to have all person meetings. And I don’t mask generally. But I wish companies would not be so insistent on having them right before Christmas and/or cold and flu season.

       1. I got a lot of flak for skipping my office holiday party in 2022 and then 80% of the people who attended caught Covid… the week before Christmas. (I don’t actually celebrate Christmas but I have time off work and kids off from school that week and it would have been super annoying to miss all that due to illness.)

          I also don’t mask generally but don’t hesitate to mask before holidays and big vacations, especially in cold and flu season.

       2. Agree that the timing could be much, much better.

   14. Going to work sick has always been a thing

   15. Where I live, masks are required to wear masks in hospitals but haven’t seen any workplace guidance. If folks are concerned, they can easily wear masks.

   16. I go to a lot of conferences. Tomorrow I will go to one – sitting in a conference room with about 100 attendees for 8 hours, and sharing meals, coffee with them.

       I wear an N95. I am immunocompromised. It’s fine. Some days I get tired of it, and just wear a simple surgical mask that is less oppressive.

       I’m not sure what you are looking for. If other people don’t mind getting sick, let them. You can only control yourself. So wear your mask.

       Life will continue to go on.

       1. You could consider upgrading the surgical to an ear loop KF94 or KN95 better protection, comfort, and aesthetics than surgical (if you prefer surgical, carry on!).

   17. In 2020 you would have been right. In 2025 you are absolutely bonkers and failing to read the room. Covid is over as a “thing,” it’s now like the cold or flu and you will not be perceived well acting like it’s still peak pandemic.

       1. That line of thinking is what’s crazy. I was sick for nine months straight in 2019 and early 2020 because a series of self-centered idiots came to meetings and conferences and kids’ sporting events and sat next to me on planes while clearly contagious with the flu and other nasty viruses. Even if you don’t believe in COVID anymore, it’s not efficient for society or business to go around deliberately getting people sick.

       2. It’s not like the cold or the flu though; it spreads much more efficiently by aerosols and builds up in poorly ventilated rooms. This is why so many people who didn’t need to mask pre-pandemic need to mask now.

       3. NP. It’s not that I “don’t believe in Covid.” It’s that I live in the real world and I am positive this attitude will be negatively received at most workplaces in 2025. You show up for mandatory in office events, especially if they’re only a couple times a year, and refusing to do so because a large group of people could be perceived as a “superspreader event” is going to make you seem incredibly out of touch.

          1. Large groups of people are inevitable. The problem is that people who know they are sick deliberately show up, unmasked, and management thinks it’s perfectly acceptable for half the staff to be out sick for a week or more after each of these events as a result.

4. My daughter wants a hair styling tool for Christmas. Ideally it would be something that she could use for curling as well as straightening but it’s OK if that’s not what we end up with.

   She has long, thick, Caucasian blonde hair that’s sort of naturally wavy but neither curly nor straight. I want a tool that would be good for her very thick and heavy hair.

   What tool(s) do you recommend? She linked to one via Amazon but it looks cheap. I am not ready to drop $350 but something more on the ~$100 range would be okay.

   If it’s not standard, my one requirement, would it be that it has an auto-off setting (see: teenager).

   1. What about a blow-dry brush? I have a similar hair type and really like mine – L’Ange Le Volume

      1. +1 for the blow-dry brush. I have the same hair type as your daughter and my little sister gave me a Revlon one for Christmas last year. I even recently asked if I would be better off with a Dyson, and she said no!

      2. Her hair takes approx 200 years to blow dry, I figured a blow dry brush would be less effective than a dryer (which she mostly doesn’t bother with). Is yours like that too? Her use case would be next-day styling for hair she let dry overnight.

      3. OP here, Would something like this work? It popped up when I searched for the one you suggested and I like that it has swappable options so she can play around with it.

         1. https://www.ulta.com/p/infinitipro-digitalaire-drying-wand-pimprod2045281?sku=2624139

            1. The brush linked looks identical to the one I own. I wash my hair at night and use the brush in the mornings to give me more volume and straighten out the kinks. I’d love the multi-use of the conair!

   2. https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-hair-straightener/ – the top choice is like $35 and has auto off

      You could buy her both that and an inexpensive curling wand for under $100. Or a straightening iron plus blow dry brush like the Revlon one step. https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/blog/dyson-airwrap-vs-revlon-one-step/

   3. You can probably stay under $100 with separate flat iron and ceramic hot rollers.

      1. The Revlon tool is the single best tool I had with very similar hair texture. I do want until hair is nearly dry or roughly blow dry it before using it and also use thermal protection since it can get pretty hot.

5. Public service announcement: The current Banana Republic wool suiting pants DO NOT ITCH even though they are unlined. And even though my 2022ish suiting pants of the last of the ones labeled Logans (RIP!) did itch a bit. The 2025 ones are not aggravating my skin even though most wool but merino does now.

   There is also a merino-cotton blend crew neck sweater that also DOES NOT ITCH. Huzzah!

   1. Ooh this is good to know!

      PSA: Ann Taylor sweaters are VERY ITCHY this year. Somehow all of them are.

6. Looking for advice or words of wisdom about a tough job search —

   I was laid off 8 months ago, and I am really struggling to get traction in the job search. I think I’m doing everything “right”: semi-customized cover letters and resumes (ie. I have a few different sentences I drop in based on the role; I experimented with fully customized cover letters but didn’t get interviews from any of them and decided it wasn’t worth the time. 100% my own writing, not using AI); updated my portfolio, have talked with past colleagues about what I’m looking & asked for referrals and help; 150+ applications; expanded my target locations/industries/pay range; and I’m getting very, very few interviews.

   In real life, I’m being extremely careful about coming off positive, motivated and matter-of-fact, but internally, there’s a constant refrain of “what if I never get a good job again”. And to be completely honest, a little resentment (that I’m not proud of): I worked *so hard* in school, got myself a full scholarship in a stem field so I’d have stable career options, put up with a lot to prove myself in my jobs (I know anyone on the internet can claim this, but I solemnly promise I’m not some millennial snowflake who refuses to work past 4:59 pm or never replies to emails), and part of me just thinks…I should have something to show for that?

   9 years of experience, prestigious masters in my field, willing to work full-time in person, and relocate if necessary, strong references but no “name brand” companies in my past.

   Is there something I’m missing? Or something that’s helped you get through this in the past?

   1. I’m sorry, that’s so hard. All I can suggest is to work your network. Make sure people know you’re looking and what you’re open to. Circle back with folks you reached out to a few months ago; they may have assumed you found something so you’re off their radar.

   2. It’s a brutal job market out there right now – this isn’t your fault. I would try as much as possible to leverage connections and get a warm introduction, rather than applying cold to job postings. Also, if there are career coaches specialized in your field, they can sometimes have connections they leverage to get you interviews.

   3. You’re not missing anything. It’s tough out there and life is not fair. That pretty much sums it up. As someone who also did everything “right” and assumed I would be rewarded accordingly, getting laid off twice in less than two years came as a huge blow. I realized that no amount of doing things “right” could have guaranteed me employment security. At first, this was really difficult to accept. But ultimately, I think it was good for me. I now appreciate it more when things are going well (both at work and in life!). I realize that most of life is not within my control. I’m more grateful in the present moment and I try not to project too far into the future.

      As far as having nothing to show for it, that’s not true! You have job history, you have skills you’ve learned, you have a master’s degree, and you likely have a network you’ve built over the years. You may not have a job right now, but you have a career and you’re in the middle of it. A career is made up of a series of jobs. You just haven’t found the next opportunity yet. But you will.

      It sounds like you’re doing everything right except allowing anxious thinking to bubble up, which is totally understandable. It may help to talk these things through with a friend who’s been there and/or a therapist.

      In the meantime, just keep trying and focusing on what you can control. A wise friend said to me when I was in the middle of my last search that I would find something eventually and one day the time not working would feel like a blip. I found that hard to believe, but sure enough, it’s true. Sending you good job hunting vibes!

      1. Also, FWIW, I got my most recent job from cold applying. Not a single network connection. First time that happened to me since I was 23. And I LOVE it. Another friend had a similar situation. We’re both in our mid-40s with well-established careers. So cold applying can work, even if it’s unlikely! I wouldn’t prioritize it, but if you see something you’re really excited about that you feel like you’re a good fit for, it can’t hurt to apply.

         1. I also got my job (at a big-name company) by cold applying. I would never discount this route, especially if you have the time to apply.

            I know the rejections feel like a pronouncement on your self-worth or value, but that’s not the case. You are in a tough circumstance. You WILL get a job.

         2. I’ve gotten all my jobs by cold applying. I’ve never had much of a network. I’m not very good at networking and have had to move around a lot for my husband’s job, so I usually don’t have any contacts in a particular city except my current boss + co-workers. I definitely wouldn’t give up on that.

   4. +1 that it’s really brutal out there. I was laid off 3 months ago, have applied to probably 30-40 jobs I’m well-qualified for, and the only interviews I got were for positions with my old organization and only because it’s a company policy that people laid off within the last 6 months have to be given a first round interview if they meet the stated minimum qualifications.

   5. This is not about you at all, the market is just horrendous. It does sound like you’re doing all the right things. You just need one of these things to pan out, and sadly sometimes its a bit the luck of the draw.

   6. It isn’t you, it is the market. I was hiring for the position I supervise earlier this year, and was inundated with overqualified applicants. This has NEVER happened before, and Ihave filled this job 3 times previously. It has to get better eventually – hang in there.

   7. I’m so sorry. I was in a similar boat and finally landed something. The resentment is real. And the betrayal – like I had made choices and sacrifices to be in a job, career, and even organization that I thought was more secure. My period of unemployment made me realize how much I relied on meritocracy for success, but so much of professional success is not based on merit. Accepting that truth helped me stop internalizing why I wasn’t getting interviews.

      I landed in a job that I “took a flyer” on. It’s a pivot from my subject area, but at a large, local organization that was more interested in finding the right person and fit than someone who the niche/uncommon subject matter experience.

   8. This is the unfortunate reality of this market from everyone I know looking and various professional groups I’m in. It’s definitely harder for midlife and older people, but I think the guidance is minimum 6 months. I have mostly gotten jobs through cold applying, but everyone emphasizes networking now. And I know it’s very hard because I have also been unemployed for longer periods of time.

      I would advise connecting with some peers also in your market to form a support unit. The mental toll is real but also you’re expanding your networks by doing that.

   9. It’s unclear to me if you’re networking for the specific jobs you’re applying to rather than networking and cold applying. I would really focus on trying to find someone to connect you to the hiring managers for roles you applying to. Generally putting the word out is good, but you’ll likely have a lot more success with a targeted approach.

   10. It’s not you, it’s a brutal job market.

       A couple of months ago I was slammed because I posted looking for advice on transitions I could make where I could earn enough to support my family. Posters were incredulous that I was expecting to go from $190k up to $450-550k. Recent grads are being paid $120k+ in my location. I know, I do payroll.

       I have been to the final round of good jobs 5-6 times now. I’ve kissed a lot of frogs. I have been interviewing and had a final round presentation for a great role at a good company with amazing benefits. I think I might get this job. It’s $300k starting salary but there is a clear path to $450-550k.

       I also took on something aligned with what I do as a freelancer. I am on target to earn about $150k a year for this. This came about from having conversations with people about problems they are looking to solve. You could say it was serendipitous, but really it wasn’t. I asked the right questions, did the homework and returned with a solution the person has decided to buy and promote to their network. I spoke to probably 50-60 people before I spoke to this person.

       So, my advice is to change the way you are conversing and think very creatively. Influencers use the words grit and resilience. I use the words DO NOT GIVE UP! Try, try and try again. Follow up, follow up, follow up. My kids were asked to describe me and my teen daughter said (with side eye) I’m relentless. Annoying as that might be, it’s been effective.

7. Please allow me to express some frustration. Do not ask this random internet forum for advice on topics that require the advice of an expert. And stop giving advice in areas you are not an expert in. The post this morning about terminating someone has like ten different, separate pieces of BAD advice, possibly more if you count the advice that might have been valid for one particular state, but is literally illegal for another. And yeah, it’s shitty to fire someone before the holidays, but it’s rock and a hard place, because if you don’t, you get accused of waiting too long and manufacturing the reason for termination, and our poor OP is already giving her a separation package of unknown amount, which very well could carry her well into 2026. So, OP, go talk to your firm about how to have this conversation, and don’t rely on anonymous advice about things that actually matter.

   1. You’re not wrong, but I trust OP to weigh these considerations; if it were me, I wouldn’t be taking comments as advice so much as reactions.

   2. This doesn’t frustrate me, but it always feels like an opportunity for everyone to share what the human element of a situation might be, since all people are different and view things through different lenses.

   3. I think people here use their brains and can think critically about comments. But a key function of an HR department is to fire people, so I would expect HR to already have a process and script prepared.

   4. bold of you to assume that OPs employer has useful HR staff that know what they are doing.

   5. I’m a 30+ year employment lawyer and the timing advise was good. Two weeks doesn’t create the issue you’re talking about.

      1. Maybe, maybe not. My point was that none of us know because we don’t know all the facts, and as an employment lawyer, you know this is exactly the kind of thing our clients call us for legal advice on. You’re okay with your clients asking random internet forums rather than calling you? Doubt it.

8. If you have a luxe rib shirt (tee or turtleneck) from Everlane–how does it fit? I’m looking for a very close fit so I can wear it as an undershirt. (I have Uniqlo heat tech and airism items for this purpose but after a few years they have picked up some smells that I can’t get out.)

   1. No experience with the Everlane shirt but I would suggest looking at the laundry sub-Reddit learn about cleaning chemicals to wash your old shirts

      1. Lipase for the win! I’m a convert to spa day.

9. Any recommendations for nice brands for sweatpants for my father in law for Christmas? He’s 80 and recently started going to the gym to walk on the treadmill. I’m not sure whether he’d wear them over shorts or instead of shorts inside the gym. He has no idea what’s trendy, but he does really appreciate quality.

   1. Vuori if you’re fancy — but honestly the Costco dupes are pretty good

      1. I got Vuori ones for my husband and he was a huge fan.

   2. American Giant sweats are really high quality and last forever.

      1. +1 – my husband lost his AG sweatshirt recently that he’d had for 13 years and was bummed so I bought him another one. (Actually, two, one in the original heavyweight and one of the lighter ones.)

   3. Nike sweatpants are pretty nice, especially for the price. They aren’t obnoxiously trendy or anything.

   4. +1 vuori and also wow way to go grandpa! I wish my dad would go to the gym!

10. I’ve been working from home all day and I feel bad making my dog go out in the snow to pee! Are there any smart solutions here? Those dog booties are like an 8 person job minimum.

    1. Hi! This is well intentioned, but your dog is fine as long as it’s a quick trip.

    2. If you have a yard then shovel a small path for them. But snow doesn’t harm their paws so just put a jacket on them don’t feel bad. Salt is the bigger issue, and there’s no solution beyond booties or thoroughly rinsing off their paws after walks.

    3. We have a neurotic Chihuahua who has a mental breakdown if we put clothes on her, so we’ve never used dog booties or coats. In deep snow we shovel an area for her to use, but otherwise she just has to go.

    4. Musher’s secret, and trim up any toe fringes that collect snow. I live in the upper Midwest and have never in 40 years of dog ownership put footwear on a canine.

11. I’m piling on a bit to the comments from earlier today about the husband using AI to scan the wife’s texts. I would be livid if my husband or partner did that, in part because the intimacy of our communications should not be shared with AI! I’m not s*xting my DH, but I did not invite AI into our marriage. Heck, if anyone in my family did that, I’d probably just stop communicating by text altogether with them. Am I an outlier?

    1. I missed the morning thread but I would absolutely not be ok with this.

    2. You’re doing AI wrong if you’re using it to interpret texts from YOUR WIFE or anybody else that you love and care about. I’m floored. It would literally never occur to me to outsource my texts in this way. Does he not care about her at all?!

    3. No

    4. It’s probably a feature that he just has for general text messages and was lazy and applied it to his wife’s text messages. I know lots of people who use it–it’s just a tool and I’m sure he caught an early lesson about inappropriate use. I wouldn’t choose to read too much into this.

       1. I kind of hate the idea that I’m texting people who are feeding everything I say into an AI. But I can see that some tech bro would do this and it wouldn’t mean anything.

          1. I feel like we need two party consent laws around this stuff. Yuck.

    5. Never ok.

    6. Good Lord I didn’t even know that was a thing. But for a spouse to do it? Heaven help us all.

    7. Seeing that every reply on that thread said it was horrible that he used AI for texting, why do you think that your opinion would be the outlier?

    8. I guess I’m the outlier. Apple summarizes text chains and if I’m rushing in between things, I’ll look at that quickly and respond to my husband and vice versa. It doesn’t mean we don’t care, it’s just a shortcut. Doesn’t bother me at all.

       1. this is what I assumed, too. If you have a couple of unread messages, Apple’s default setting is to put a two-line summary of what you missed on your Messages home screen.

          Dumb to rush and reply to your wife relying on that? Yes, but not horrible uncaring behavior.

       2. I think it also depends on the context – like, my phone suggests auto-replies, and I’ll use them for logistics (simple stuff like the text was a confirmation of our “meet you in the parking lot at 7” plan, and the suggested reply was “See you then!”). I do read them though! And I’m always worried I’ll accidentally tap one of the wildly-irrelevant ones instead of the send-button on my handwritten reply

Comments are closed.