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A friend recently turned me on to bags from Songmont, and now I'm a little bit obsessed — there are so many good bags, and at great prices.
This crescent-shaped bag is one of their most popular styles — and I love that you can swap out straps to to turn the shoulder bag into a crossbody bag, or even remove the strap entirely and connect the two ends to turn it into a cool little evening bag.
(The evening bag option is probably cuter with the smaller versions of this bag!)
The bag comes in three sizes, with some sizes available in up to 10 colors. The pictured bag (the medium size) is $349; the smaller bags are $299 and the largest bags are $430. I'm also drooling over this structured bag and this unstructured “drippy” hobo/tote.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
Anon
This bag is cute. BUT I need to get a new / smaller CLEAR plastic bag for various spaces in my city that have now gone to needing a 12x12x6 or smaller clear bag (current one is too big now I’m using a ziplock, which is not super-durable for house keys and the like). Since this will be a bag I use several times a month, I’d like to get something cute — maybe with colored trim, and with pockets for keys, ID, various badges for different buildings, pens, notebook, phone, etc. Maybe with an umbrella sleeve? Willing to spend some money to get something that doesn’t easily get punctured and/or looks like a real purse.
Alt
I found a cute one on Poshmark that’s a sling-type bag with a jacquard strap. It’s small but i bought it for specific size limits. It’s nice and sturdy though! No idea what the brand is but there are lots on Poshmark!
Anon
This one is cute and has different options!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B1CBZ7LG/ref=twister_B0D7VGFP82?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Anon
I think this one is so cute but not sure if it’s too Barbie for you
Anon
https://case-mate.com/products/soap-bubble-mini-tote?currency=USD&variant=42737504452744&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&stkn=96ada71bb626&flow_country=USA&tw_source=google&tw_adid=&tw_campaign=18265554693&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjww5u2BhDeARIsALBuLnMErl48Vt0QCE1C7OuBylxWhXcOIsZnyNcuUsnOWX8C2SUnzdh2hd0aAuszEALw_wcB
Senior Attorney
I want that and I don’t even go places where I need a clear bag…
orchid
Yeah same
Anonymous
It’s 20% off on Amazon!
Anon
So cute!
New Here
I just bought this one and used it for a golf tournament last week:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5748R9X?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_fed_asin_title
Housecounsel
I won’t post the link to avoid mod, but Who What Wear has a good list of clear bags.
Anon
Antonio Melani at Dillards has several cute clear bags that fit your max dimensions and can hold a decent amount of stuff.
Anon
I just got a cute (personalized!) one from Mark & Graham. Nice quality. https://www.markandgraham.com/products/clear-crossbody-bag/?pkey=cpersonalized-clear-shop&position=4
Jules
PSA for those with older relatives (and following up on the morning thread about phones for kids): Consider getting them an Apple watch or other wearable device with calling capability. My mother is a very healthy 85 years old – until her recent issue she was taking 8 excercise classes a week, and the photos that her senior center included in the email to members to wish her a happy birthday last winter showed her working out with dumbbells – but in June she tripped in her house and broke both her hip and her wrist. She is not super-tech savvy but can use an iPhone, iPad and Apple watch, and fortunately she had the watch on as she usually does and was able to call for help. (She was in tremendous pain but still kept her sense of humor – when my sister answered the phone, my mon said “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”)
Just a couple of days earlier, we found out, a man who goes to the same senior center also fell at home; he is older and more frail and also not at all tech-oriented. He was on the floor for two days before someone found him, seriously deyhdrated and even hypothermic because it was during a heat wave when the AC was blasting and he was lying in front of a vent the whole time.
I’ve been wanting an Apple watch mainly to help me find my phone, which I misplace in my house regularly, but I am klutzy – current wearing a brace for a sprained wrist from a clumsy fall at the garden center – and can also see myself somehow getting hurt if I’m home alone so I might get one for that purpose as well.
Anon
I have an Apple Watch because my cardiologist told me to get one. It had been great. I fell down on a hike recently and it alarmed and buzzed and offered to call 911 many times, which I didn’t need, but I really was all by myself and I’m glad it made the offer.
Anon
For those of you helping relatives with dementia or other significant assistance needs (or other barriers to learning/using new technology), this is where assisted living provides a far better margin of safety. Our family member in assisted living is checked on a minimum of six times per day, which includes medication dispensing and eyes-on at lunch and dinner, and it’s a huge relief to us to know that it doesn’t mean she’s stuck on the floor in pain if we don’t hear from her that day, which was an ever-present worry when she was at home. Even if she were to fall between checks, the community also has pager buttons that all residents wear, so we know she’d be found quickly and that it isn’t a complex device that she might struggle with. There’s nothing wrong with the Apple watch idea for those who are capable of using it, but for anyone else who is stressing about relatives “aging in place,” see what you can do to enact moves to assisted living. I cannot emphasize enough how the increased margin of safety improved all our lives. She loves it there too!
Anon for this
We did that for my very active MIL after she broke her hip last spring. It lets her feel young and gives us the peace of mind of knowing she can contact someone quickly if need be.
Anon for this
Meaning, we got her an Apple Watch.
Anon
YES to this! Same experience.
Anon
I got my mom a Jitterbug phone recently when her iphone got too old to keep going. Jitterbug has a plan where you can get an alert necklace in addition to your cell phone coverage. (If you’ve ever been to an assisted living, you’ve seen the necklace – plastic button attached to a lanyard you wear around your neck in case of falls – it summons staff.) In this case, the button summons an operator who calls first responders if necessary.
https://www.lively.com/medical-alerts/lively-mobile2/
Housecounsel
Thank you for this, and best wishes to your mom, who is actually hilarious. I can’t believe she had the presence of mind to make a joke!
Jules
Thank you! My mom is the cutest person I know. Her first night in the hospital, when the nurse was testing her mental acuity so she could sign her updated health care POA, she was asked what year is it, who’s the President, what’s the next holiday. Mom promptly answered the last one, “it’s the Fourth of July and I guess I won’t be at the block party.” They decided she was fully compos mentis
Anon
Thanks for info. Can you activate an Apple watch to make a call just by voice? Or to call 911?
My father couldn’t navigate an Apple watch as it is just too small. Many seniors have finger coordination issues and vision issues. Apple watch would have been way to expensive for him to agree to as well.
But the Alexa devices worked great for us, and he was able to yell out to one of those (we had one in every room), and Alexa called us when he fell.
anon
How tech savvy is your mom? My parents are quite a bit younger than yours and have unfortunately refused to evolve with the times, to the point where their discomfort with tech is quite worrying. They use flip phones and refuse to get smart phones and devices. All this to say, I love the idea, but I don’t know how to implement it in practicality when the time comes. The fact that my mom carries any phone at all when she goes on her daily walks is something of a miracle.
Jules
My mom worked her entire career – into her 70s – as a clerical/admin so she is generally computer-literate. Several years ago, she was reluctant to get a smart phone but we got her an iPad and that was the gateway to the Apple ios and then it was easy to get her on an iPhone and later an Apple watch. Now half the texts I get from her have a bitmoji or are sent with the balloon or confetti effect or something – I taught her how to use text effects but I can never remember it now – so she picked it up very easily. She doesn’t get the daily newspaper anymore but reads the news on her iPad. But for someone who is less tech-savvy, or just not willing to try it, the smart watch won’t be the way to go.
And to the earlier question, I’m certain the Apple watch can do voice commands, although I think my mom used the buttons when she called for help.
Nonny
Please anyone, give a few basics on how to select an apple watch and do you have to have an apple phone to go with it? After reading this have to get one asap for fall risk. Thanks so much for any helpyou can give!
Lexi
My mom has an Apple Watch for this very reason! Fire Department recommended it because the watch will automatically dial 911 after detecting a fall. Definitely gives peace of mind.
Anonymous
I’ve been trying to encourage my parents to consider this, or at least to keep their phones on them regularly. I broke my ankle earlier this year and was in hospital with two ladies who weren’t even old (one fifties and one early sixties) but had both fallen and broken bones, then been on the floor for hours before they could drag themselves to their phones to call for help. When I met them they’d both been completely bedbound in hospital for weeks and a week or two after I left were moved to a different hospital for weeks more; I didn’t pry into their prognoses but I assume at that point it’s likely a lifechanging injury in terms of getting mobility back. Injuries can happen easily at any age and getting help quickly can make a big difference.
Anonymous
fun question for today: what is a scam that has become so normalized, we don’t even recognize it as a scam anymore?
(I’ve seen this a lot of places but not here!)
My answers would be adding TIP % info to every receipt… having to give stores your phone number when checking out… and (forever and always) airline upcharges for basic things.
What are yours?
anon
That I have to pay to file my tax return.
Anonymous
The personal accounting industry is such a racket, those taxes could be automated and have been in many countries, but lobbying is a powerful thing.
Anon
I think that’s all pretty much due to the lobbying efforts of Intuit, who makes TurboTax
Anon
That you have to file a return at all. There is no reason the IRS cannot send you a preliminary bill based on their records that you could respond to if you disputed it.
Anon
IRS: Send us how much you owe us.
Me: how much do I owe you?
IRS: you have to figure it out. We’re not telling you. But we do know how much you owe us and you have to pay it or go to jail.
Lexi
Haha
Anon
The reason this doesn’t happen is that Intuit and the others have lobbied hard against it.
Anon
Tip lines at service counters where someone is just handing you something.
Anon
Places/purchases requiring personal information they don’t need and then predictably becoming victims of data breaches.
Stores that have an option to uncheck the box for “join newsletter” and when you uncheck it, you end up getting emails anyway.
Instagram “having age limits.”
Anon
Right, why did my new dentist think they needed my social security number? How many people just sort of blindly fill that out?
Anon
I usually give them an SS number that is off by one or two digits from my real one.
Anonymous
but wait isn’t that tantamount to stealing someone else’s SS number? just decline to give it.
Anons
You can opt out of these things. If you see a tip line on a receipt or cash register you can just put $0. When you’re checking out at a brick and mortar store I always say no thanks when they ask for my email or phone number. Set up a Google Voice number to use during online checkout.
Anon
Marriage and motherhood.
Anon
Say more?
Anonymous
Hard agree, women get the short end of the stick.
anon
Feeling this HARD right now. I love my family, but moms are subject to so many more expectations than dads ever will be.
PLB
LOL. I felt that especially the marriage part!
Anon
Thought of another one: prior authorization for medications that are obviously needed, like insulin for type I diabetics.
Anonymous
Healthcare is broken
Anon
Absolutely.
Nonny
relative just recently was lobbying Congress against prior authorization -the ultimate scam!!!!!
Anon
Credit card points are a way to get the financially responsible to be okay with companies profiteering off the poor.
Many car loans are also now structured predatorily.
Anon
YES.
Anon
+1
Anon
“Coinsurance” as another way to squeeze money out of health insurance customers—because copays and deductibles just aren’t enough.
Anon
I am a huge fan of education and learning, so this isn’t anti-intellectual:
Our entire higher ed system and pricing. It’s such a racket.
Anon
Let’s not forget to specifically call out academic journal and article pricing…
Mantra Magic
I work in higher ed at state school. Our costs have steadily increased while states have scaled back financial support. Meanwhile, we are having such a hard time attracting faculty in key areas (especially healthcare) because the pay is so poor. And lest you say scale back on administrators, keep in mind that higher ed is as regulated as the banking industry and we have to have people who are responsible for submitting various reports and certifications to the state and federal government, especially if we want our students to continue to get financial aid. And the department of higher ed has just piled on more reporting. My university operates on a shoe string budget and it’s pitiful. Trust me, most regional state schools and small colleges are not getting rich. Higher ed is broken like health care.
anon
Preach.
Anon
I’m married to a state school professor. That doesn’t change the fact that the system is broken.
Lexi
OMG, this. I was an adjunct at a state university and the pay is criminal. In the meantime costs keep going up—for what? Not for classes/instruction! In fact during Covid our local state U offered self paced online classes without an instructor, but students were paying full tuition. I didn’t do it for the pay, but lots of professors don’t want to come to CA because of the disconnect between the pay and cost of living. In the meantime we have students living in cars, and graduating with astronomical student loans. Ugh
Anonymous
affiliate marketing/pay per clicking: you might not buy an item, but it’s tracking your cookies and pulling all kinds of data to mine
social media: all fake now and meant to sell you any thing that makes them money. see the Stanley craze, nordstrom annual sale, tula cosmetics, farmers dog food, magic spoon cereal, boll and branch sheets, ritual vitamins, et al
notice how all influences now LOVE to wear walmart? lol my ass
anon
+1 million.
You can’t tell me these influencers are wearing Walmart in their real (not shilled) lives.
Anon
Health insurance, period.
Anon
How do you all feel about above shoulder length bobs or lobs? Whenever my hair gets longer than my shoulders it ends up in a ponytail or a clip all the time.
I’ve had a chin length bob before but I feel like I want something longer and am not ready for the “big chop” at this moment.
Anon
I like them! Mid-neck or collarbone length to me looks polished but easy (depending, of course, on all sorts of things, including hair texture, etc.)
Anonymous
I have been contemplating this myself, so I guess I like it. My hair gets too “big” when it grows very long, which it is right now.
Anonymous
It sounds like you’d like to wear your hair above the shoulder, but longer than chin length, but for some reason are doubting yourself. What kind of hesitations are holding you back?
Anon
If I had easier hair I’d have a lob. But collarbone length is best for my hair so that’s what I have
Anon
If my hair is too long to be off my neck but too short to be pulled up off my neck, it drives me wild. I work out lots and having my hair plastered to my neck is awful. I like the look lots, but this length is not for me.
Anon
I’ve had shorter bobs in the past but inevitably I grow them out because I miss being able to put it in a ponytail or bun.
Anon
Yeah I guess I’m looking at tiny ponytail length. I also want to be able to put it up. I have a long ponytail now, but it’s always in a ponytail! Or a claw clip. That’s the issue. It doesn’t seem like a style really.
Anon
It’s what works best for me.
Anon
OP here. I went in thinking maybe a medium chop and not a big chop and now I have a two inch ponytail. That’s what my hairdresser said was the minimum to reliably stay in a ponytail. It’s definitely above my shoulders and below my chin. I like it!
Thanks for the suggestions emphasizing ponytail length – that turned out to be a good rule of thumb for how much I wanted cut off. I’d say I got about 4 inches off.
Anon
I have one and love it.
Anonymous
I need to bring a drink or snack to a mom’s evening thing tonight. Group of 6 ladies, host has martinis and a dessert. What would you bring? Event is in 4 hours and I’m home for the night so I can make something if needed. Feeling dippy?
Anonymous
oooh a white bean dip hits so hard with an adult beverage
Anon
I love hummus and veggies or a fruit plate.
Anon
I like martinis with mixed salted nuts and castleveltrano olives.
Anon NYC
Everyone loves when I make this spinach and artichoke dip.
https://www.food.com/recipe/spinach-artichoke-dip-1209
Lexi
Everyone loves when I make this spinach and artichoke dip.
https://www.food.com/recipe/spinach-artichoke-dip-1209
Senior Attorney
Frozen mini meatballs in tve crockpot with grape jelly and Heinz chili sauce.
Anonymous
an array of tinned fish and good crackers
bonus points for white anchovy filets
Anon
For those who answered motherhood and marriage as scams, can you share more about why and in which ways? I hope to get married and have kids some day, but I am worried about how burnt out a lot of women I love are.
Yikes
Yes, there is a reason while single childless women are the happiest demographic.
anon
Happily married, but you need to not care about doing it wrong, and your spouse needs to be on board. We don’t have kids, his conservative parents got quite upset when he was willing to move for my job the second time (and both times he made a big step up in compensation), and we know they judge things like my husband doing the laundry, because they gossip about my BIL doing outrageous things like being responsible for getting his daughters up and making their breakfast. I like to mock them for it but it also sucks to know they are nice to my face, and they call my husband a doormat when I’m not around.
Anon
I don’t feel that way (I was on the fence about having a child and it’s been about 10 million times better than I anticipated) but there are huge double standards for moms and dads and I think that may be a lot of what people are referencing. Straight men are congratulated for doing the bare minimum when it comes to parenting – still, in 2024.
anon
This. It’s hard not to be resentful about how I’m treated vs. my husband. He is a partner in every way unlike many men but he’s a freaking hero in society’s eyes. While I’m doing what every wife and mom has done since the beginning of time. Even our professional accomplishments are not viewed the same way.
Senior Attorney
Something that has always stuck with me: “Think of tge best man you know. He’d just be an average woman.”
Roxie
I say this gently: have you read no basic mainstream feminist writing of the past 40 years? It’s pretty well documented. Maybe start with reading everything Rebecca traister has ever written??
anonshmanon
I guess the monologue from Barbie is a good cliff notes version to start with!
Senior Attorney
If you are not EXTREMELY vigilant, you will end up being the Default House Person and the Default Parent — the one who carries everything around in your head and makes sure everything runs smoothly and it’s just exhausting. Paige Connell has a great Instagram account where she talks about stuff like that: @sheisapaigeturner. Here’s a sample: https://www.instagram.com/p/C-844jEJA71/
No Face
There are a lot of pitfalls because of how everyone is socialized, but I have not regretted marriage or motherhood for one second. My kids are by far the best thing about my life (sorry to my husband, lol).
Living childfree is wonderful if that is what someone wants, but plenty of us prefer raising children in a marriage. It’s quite the journey.
Anon
+1 there are deep societal issues but I really did not anticipate how much happier I’d be with kids. It’s cheesy, but for me it really was like going from black and white to technicolor. My life was perfectly nice (and less tiring!) before, but the highs are so much higher now.
Parent Trap
I think it’s just a lot. I mean women used to stay home and raise kids as a full time job and now we have full time jobs on top of raising kids and a lot more pressure as to how those kids should be raised. When I was growing up not that long ago, all the parents would just force us to go outside and that was pretty much it. Now every kid that my kids are friends with does at least one serious sport, usually more, and has other activities at least 3-4 days a week, if not more. We used to just go to neighbors houses and now it’s all organized play dates and it usually defaults to moms planning most of them because that’s just who does the coordinating so they’re not calling the dad, they’re calling the other mom. There is also just so much more to do and even if you outsource some stuff like a cleaning service, there is simply not enough hours in the day to do it all. Just birthday parties have become such a production! And even if you have a partner that helps, even helps a lot, it doesn’t really address the issue entirely because you have to be okay with how it is that they do things and that is honestly much harder than you would think. I think men are socially just much more okay with not caring about a lot of the stuff that women too often care about, or, maybe they don’t care because they don’t feel like it’s a reflection on them if their kid is wearing a stained shirt or brings a crappy gift to a bday party for one of their classmates. My partner is great but he thinks he’s freaking fantastic because he does so much more than his dad ever did and meanwhile I always feel like I’m not doing a good enough job because my mom was able to do it all so much better, at least until I was ten anyway.
That said, I still wouldn’t trade it. We had a couple of days without our kids recently and as much as it was easy, it was also not really that fun. Way too quiet and I missed them fiercely.
Anon
‘ And even if you have a partner that helps, even helps a lot, it doesn’t really address the issue entirely because you have to be okay with how it is that they do things and that is honestly much harder than you would think. ’ This is the part of the problem, my partner isn’t helping, he’s doing. And I don’t have to necessarily be ok with how he does things whether it’s mowing the lawn and taking the car in for service or buying the birthday presents and helping the kid get dressed
Anonymous
Yes. Having kids is a job. When you have a family where both parents work full time, someone is working two jobs. Or both are working a part time job on top of a full time job. That’s the scam.
Something has to give- extensive outsourcing ($$$)- essentially forever. Not just daycare, but camps, rides, vacation coverage, and heck you want to spend time with them too!
Alternatively, one or both parents cut back on work.
Anon
I will quietly say that motherhood and marriage have been more fulfilling and rewarding for me than my career (and I have a good career!). My husband is the better parent and homemaker, and I often feel guilty about how much more at home he does than I do.
I think saying that out loud is incredibly unpopular, and this board, in particular, is not a space where people say things like that. But that is a possible outcome, and I think you should hope for the best and plan—aggressively—for the worst.
anon
strong agree; I have a great career but marriage and motherhood are way more fulfilling and fun.
It is not harder than it used to be – women have always worked in addition to mothering, both outside the home and in home-based businesses (taking in laundry, brewing, running the store or a farm, etc.) and nowadays our children live, our water is safe, and we have flush toilets and washing machines. The challenges are different but I have agency in my life to handle them; I am not being “scammed”.
Anon
I feel the exact same way.
To OP, I also think knowing your own limits is important. I stopped at one kid and even though I LOVE being a mom and consider it my favorite thing in the world, I know I’m a happier and more fulfilled person because I also have more time for my own identity and hobbies. I have a couple of friends who had a second child kind of on autopilot because that’s what people do, without carefully thinking through whether or not it was what *they* wanted, and they’re a lot less satisfied than the people I know who stopped at one or who genuinely wanted two or more. I always tell people who are on the fence about motherhood that kids (normally) come one at a time and having one isn’t a commitment to fielding a basketball team.
Anon
Hard agree too. I don’t have kids but marriage is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever done. You can choose to listen to a bunch of people who guide their life based on think pieces or you can just live your life. I choose the latter. I also have a fantastic career I’d trade in a second if it meant I couldn’t have my personal life.