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Coffee Break: AirEssentials Wide-Leg Pants

purpley red wide lounge pants

Ooh: lots of Spanx's AirEssentials line are on sale at Nordstrom, including everyone's favorite pants. These are a great gift if you have someone who loves luxe loungewear/travelwear — the pants are super comfortable and look great.

The pants are normally $110, but a bunch of colors are on sale for $82.50, including the pictured “fig.” (You can also find some colors on sale at Spanx.com.)

Sales of note for 1/1/25 (HAPPY NEW YEAR!):

100 Comments

  1. Is anyone not friends with their husband? Been married 10 years, 3 kids under 5. We were never really friends but now with little kids our relationship is very much just in survival mode. Any tips on how to make it work/make it through? Is the answer just to carve out more 1on1 time together and try to rebuild a relationship?

    2. I mean…3 kids under 5 is a lot. But I also can’t personally imagine not being “friends” with my partner. Maybe just start by being intentional about sharing things about your day…reframing child care activities as “family” time where you guys slip in your own quality socializing (if possible)?

    3. I think I was really annoyed with my husband a lot when our kids were toddlers and preschoolers. It really is a lot when your kids are that age.

      Things did get better when the kids were both in elementary school. I don’t know if I’m saying hang in there because when you’re done, you’re done, I’m just saying this phase is, in my experience, the hardest one.

      1. It’s definitely normal to struggle with 3 (or even 1 or 2) kids under 5 but “we were never really friends” is kind of shocking to me. I can’t imagine marrying someone I wasn’t friends with.

    4. We had a rough patch when we had three little kids and big jobs and a parent with cancer…etc. It took us a few years of really intentionally working on things. We acknowledged that we felt more like roommates or co-workers trying to keep our family functioning. It helped as our kids got older and became more independent. We went on more dates, spent more quality time together in the evenings (including finding shows we both like, going for walks, painting together–some of these involve our kids too). We also made it a priority to go to bed together. This is harder because our sleep schedules are somewhat different. But it helps a lot with intimacy.

    5. not sure what you mean here? like when you say you’re not friends do you mean you don’t like him? don’t have interests and activities that you enjoy together? other than GARDENING what did you have in common when you first got married?

      1. Sadly it’s not uncommon to get married just because of a great “gardening” connection. That was my BFF and she learned that that kind of connection doesn’t last, especially if you choose to have kids.

        1. Idk “great gardening” helped get us through a bunch of really tough times. And it has certainly lasted. 25 years married next month.

          1. I didn’t say that couples who’ve been married a long time can’t have great gardening. I said that if that’s your *only* connection, the relationship won’t last, especially through the tough little kid years (if you choose to have kids).

        2. I suspect this is what led to the downfall of one of our friends’ marriages. Great physical connection and flirty chemistry, especially in the beginning, but after a dozen years and having a kid together, they basically lived separate lives.

    6. Was this an arranged marriage? Did you date but not have common interests before marriage / before the kids? I am also confused by this “not really friends” thing.

      1. I think there’s a whole contingent of people who date and just do their own thing the entire time through marriage. Every date is romance-based, where you flirt and cuddle and be romantic but you don’t really build that friendship with vulnerability and shared interests. I would bet these same people moved in after marriage or only lived together a short time, and/or married while still in the honeymoon stage.

        A *lot* of people don’t put a premium on good conversation or shared interests, they prioritize chemistry and butterflies or external “on paper” stuff (he’s a good person, solid provider, good friend to *others*, good job, etc). A big chunk of people are almost on an automated track through life: find a partner, get married, have kids…now what? (Or at best, they prioritize shared values, but that doesn’t make for instant friends).

        They don’t really focus on being “friends” because why would you be “friends” with someone you want to *date*? And dating is different than friends, I will say that!

        1. This is so foreign to me. If I can’t talk to someone and bond that way, there isn’t romantic chemistry for me, period. That’s sort of a base level. He can be the best guy in the world, good provider, same values, all of that, but if there isn’t a deeper bond there, I don’t think I’d be interested. I have considered that maybe I’m demisexual, but not sure that really matters at this point in life.

          1. +1 although I think I might be demisexual too. (Side note, I hate that term because it sounds like half sexual, and that’s not the case for a lot of us — we’re very sexual when we’re connected to a person. It just requires an emotional connection for sexual attraction.)

    7. agree that these are really tough years — my family kept taking pictures of the kids and my husband and i would be in the background like growling at each other.

      are you grateful to your husband, either as father for your kids, provider for the family, etc? start with the things you can be grateful for.

      also, you need to connect 1:1 at least 2x a month — date night, date lunch, something. it’s the only way we made it through those years. if you can, try to find shared interests like tv shows.

      1. Highly recommend the date lunch! For a long stretch, it was very difficult to find babysitters for an evening out (lots of reasons for that), but having “day dates” was nice and gave us a chance to connect without the kids around. Agree that TV shows are a nice bridge when you’re exhausted but still want to spend time together.

    8. There was a time when I felt like we were officers in a corporation, the business of which was raising children. You are in such an exhausting and depleting stage of parenthood that may be coloring your perception. I don’t mean to discredit your reality, but I made mental sweeping proclamations regarding my husband and our relationship while in the trenches, and they really weren’t true. There is something to be said for just sticking out survival mode, but weekly or monthly kid-free dinners will help, too.

      1. I tend to agree with this. I also had this perception in my head that I was always doing more. Although I don’t want to discount the very real problems of women carrying the mental load, it also wasn’t 100 percent true in my marriage. We were both working hard, but the work of raising tiny humans (including one with ADHD and all the parenting intensity that entails) outpaced our ability to keep up and feel like full-fledged humans ourselves. Even with two fully committed parents, certain stages are just A Lot, and OP, you are right in the middle of it.

        How I perceived our relationship in those days was very much influenced by how overwhelmed I felt in general. I’m saying this in case it resonates in any way.

        My kids are older now (late elementary and high school), and while this stage definitely has its challenges, it’s still easier than parenting babies, toddlers, and preschoolers.

    9. If anything we’re closer to “just friends” now that we have a kid than we were before. Sex life and dates don’t really happen, but we sit around after the baby’s asleep and share memes. Everyone wants different things or if a relationship, so if friendship was never on your list then that’s not a big deal. I’d recommend getting clarity on what it really is that you want out of the relationship – economic benefits, companionship, someone to share the load of raising a family, good sex, whatever and see that you still get that. Or you’re just don’t, in which case bail now and you can get clarity about what you want out of a relationship in your next one, if you want one.
      For me, I wanted some economic stability (we’ve taken turns being the primary breadwinner), raising a family together, and enjoying each other’s company. The rest is just “nice to have” stuff and it comes and goes depending on what season we’re in.

      1. this is a good thing to focus on! my aunt got divorced around the time i was going through that phase, and i realized how much she just wanted someone to be her regular +1 to new restaurants, to concerts, etc — and my husband is great at that.

        (kind of like that laurie anderson lyric — i’ve got a beautiful red dress, and you’d look really good standing beside it)

    10. The pandemic made me realize the importance of parenting breaks, because they were not possible! Now that the world is normal, we need a balance of family time, marriage time, and separate time. You need to find a way to have fun as a family, time to spend with just your husband, and time to intentionally be away from all of them to recharge. What that looks like will depend on your interests and budget.

    11. My husband and I are friends, but we don’t have kids, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

      But I will say that we send links to each other for interesting articles, we share book recommendations and sometimes read books together so we can have “book club” discussions, we watch shows together, etc. It gives us something to talk about that’s not just life logistics.

      We also got involved in each other’s hobbies. This is obviously more difficult with kids, since you might not really have your own hobbies, but we have primary hobbies that the other will dabble in or attend to be supportive. But having something that’s our own thing where the other person has enough context to talk about it also gives us something to talk about regularly.

      1. regardless of how you got here, do you want to be friends with your husband? do you respect him, think he’s a good person, is he funny or smart or interesting (hopefully at least one!) a huge part of relationships is proximity and you two have a lot of that. Put some work into being friends, it’s hard with kids but there is still stuff you can do (if you can afford a sitter or either of you have family who will sit make some plans– if you really can’t think of anything you would both like to do, maybe book something he would like?) if you aren’t friends because, in fact, you don’t like him that’s a different story.

  2. These pants look so great, but not sure I can justify spending over 100 bucks on loungewear.

  3. I have these pants. They are super super comfy, but in my opinion, not the most flattering. They seem to show every bump and lump. I plan to mostly wear them at home, although I would be totally ok with wearing them out and about. Also, in case you are considering ordering, I am 5’4 and the regular length was way too long. I exchanged for the petite sizing, but as with most petite sizes, they are just slightly too short. I’m keeping them anyway but it’s annoying.

    1. I have the petites and I’m 5’3 — I think they’re really flattering on me. I hate that they don’t have pockets though.

    2. Also ordered these and returned them because of the lack of pockets! Otherwise they would have been perfect.

  4. Thought I’d throw this out there. Has anyone else here been put on Cymbalta / Duloxetine for chronic headaches? I’ve had all the imaging, seen all the specialists, and now my neurologist wants to try this. I would just love to have ONE headache free day and get some work done.

    Wondering whether this has actually worked for anyone?

    1. I mean, it definitely can be helpful for some people. My Mom took it and it helped some, but she had severe migraines with chronic daily headache and needed more than just cymbalta.

      Is this your first medicine to try for headache? Do you have migraines? Is this your PCP suggesting it or a neurologist? It is not what headache specialists
      (neurologists subtype) would suggest for 1st line treatments for migraines. But it is not a bad choice either. It may have less side effects than some other choices.

      1. Neurologist whose practice (6 or so docs) specializes in migraine and traumatic brain injury. They also have a neuro Opthamologist, whom I’ve seen just in case.

        No it’s not the first drug. I have Ubrelvy but you’re not supposed to treat more than 8 m1graine per month with it. This doesn’t feel like classic m1graine to me. This is like a pressure headache. I tried a short course of steroids and gabapentin with no relief (but boy was my house clean!)

        Just specifically asking whether Cymbalta did it for anyone.

        1. As someone who has new daily persistent headache, I’m guessing this is what you may have too. There isn’t really good evidence that anything is all that effective, but I’m still surprised at the meds you say you’ve tried, whether you have NDPH or just regular chronic daily headaches. That’s not a super typical list and doesn’t include the ones most likely to help. I know you’re not including your whole medical history, so we may be missing something, but I wouldn’t be super inclined to stick with this doctor unless there is something unusual to explain why you haven’t tried any of the usual medications before trying ones less likely to help. It’s super weird to prescribe cymbalta before trying at least a dozen other things, so it’s unlikely you’ll find some who found it to be miraculous. At that point, any medication usually only helps some ( which isn’t nothing).

          1. Some are contraindicated for me due to my own medical history. I tried Acetazolamide and I think it helped a little but didnt fix it.

          2. By the way, thank you for giving me some new terminology (NPDH) that I didn’t know I was looking for. I think I am on that path and not “official” yet because it has been 10 weeks of daily headache, not yet 3 months, but we’re getting close. My neurologist talked about NPDH without using that term and now I know what he was saying!

            One of the specialists I’ve seen for this said that neurology practice is considered the best in the area.

      2. Daily headache is rough. And a lot of the medications aren’t tolerated well. For example, I have really low blood pressure, so that rules out propranolol and all the calcium channel blockers. I am already tired and having trouble thinking well with headaches, so gabapentin, amitriptyline, topomax and others similar are all worth trying in theory, but likely to make my fatigue and thinking worse. But you only know if you try and you stick with it for a few months to give your body time to adjust, and then increase the dose to the highest tolerated dose before giving up. Most people give up too soon. It doesn’t sound like you have been trying medicines for long enough.

        Steroids is a great idea to try to abort this sudden new headache change, but not something you can be on long term. Of course, I assume he took a careful history and did a good exam to make sure there aren’t other causes of your headache.

        OP – just realize this is a guessing game for most folks. You have to try one med at a time, be patient. It is not likely to abort it in a day or a week or a month, and it may never go away completely. Unless you have something responsive to indomethicin (have you tried this?), or had one of the rare subtypes of daily headache that diamox helps (which is NOT migraine, so there must be some reason your doctor tried that?), you have to realize that this is a slow game.

        Headaches are complex, and there are lots of medicines to try, but there are no easy answers. Each of us is different. And your story, which is not following the typical medicine trials other use, leaves us wondering….

        I generally recommend sticking with the academic hospital neurology programs that train doctors in headache. But it can be very difficult to get into these clinics. The wait is often many months to over 1 year.

    2. No, and I have taken a million other meds that are more likely to work. But if you’ve tried all of those and they haven’t worked, then why not try one more, I know it does sometimes help other types of chronic pain. Wouldn’t be my first choice, though.

        1. Nothing has stopped it completely, but botox and topomax and magnesium help a lot (and to the poster above, I also struggle with fatigue and find that topomax actually helps a bit with that, it’s not like all the others you list that did make that worse. There are some cognitive side effects, but at a low dose the benefits are worth it for me. I wish I hadn’t waited so long to try it just because I heard the side effects were bad.)

  5. Has anyone here been to an Olympics as a spectator? I’ve always wanted to go to a winter Olympics (I’m a former competitive figure skater) and I love Italy and speak basic Italian so I’m considering trying to take my then 8 year old daughter and myself to Milano in 2026. But I don’t know anyone who’s planned a trip to an Olympics and I would love to hear more about what the experience is like and get a sense of what it will cost (although I know that must vary based on location).

    1. my friend just went to Paris for the olympics — i haven’t seen her since she went, but they only got tickets from a crazy lottery and then planned the trip around that. so i’d start there. they went with another family they travel with and could split an airbnb and do some other stuff in the group also. their family is super rich though so money wasn’t a concern.

      1. Yea I signed up for the ticket lottery and all of this is contingent on me getting tickets for some skating events and hopefully the opening ceremonies, so it’s still very much a tentative plan.

        My high school BFF actually lives in Paris and attended some events but she didn’t have the travel aspect, and just went to a handful of events that had cheap tickets, and not the opening or closing ceremonies. Apparently with some of the less popular sports they were basically giving tickets away and she got 10 euro tickets for some early rugby matches and stuff like that.

    2. I went in 2000 to Sydney. I also went Paris for a couple events at the end, but did not pay for the tickets. I love the Olympics – I highly recommend trying to go if you have an interest! And 8 years old is a great age for a kid to go.

    3. I haven’t been to an Olympics (that would be a bucket list trip for me!) but this year I did go to the Olympic trials for the sport I love. It was amazing and I had so much fun! It made me realize that watching this sport in person really makes me happy and I’ve already planned a trip to watch the NCAA championships this year. So I say do it!!

    4. I went to the Paris Olympics this summer. Signed up for the ticket lottery. The ticket buying process was very stressful and opaque, and I believe each city chooses how to do it so not sure my info would be relevant to Italy. A big resource is joining FB groups related to the specific Olympic games you’re going to. Also, I was deeply stressed about hotels and flights and bought early, but prices dropped as we got closer to the date so I might have been better waiting.

    5. I went to the 2008 Beijing Olympics, but I wasn’t the trip organizer, so I’m not sure how much tix cost for each event. We went for ~10 days and we stayed about 30 minutes away from the Bird’s Nest.

      A family member organized the trip and went with a full-service event organizer who handled getting all the tix, transportation to/from the airport, and lodging for our group, since no one spoke Chinese and my grandparents went (they had some mobility issues that made it a bit challenging for them to wing it with walking around).

      We got tickets for most of the less popular events, but we did get tix for track and field. Even though I’m not a huge fan of trampoline gymnastics, it was so cool! If you can get tix for any event, it’s worth it, even if they aren’t your preferred events.

      The overall spirit of the games really comes through, and it’s such an amazing experience to watch the entire world come together to cheer on the athletes, even the ones who aren’t from their home country. The whole world cheered for a gal who was trying to break the pole vault record, for example.

    6. I have been to Atlanta as a volunteer and occasional spectator and to London as a spectator for the full run. In Atlanta, I was at the mercy of donated/gifted tickets we got in the moment. And we did a lot of watch activities outside of venues (e.g., there were giant screens set up in town squares showing big events, large areas full of merch tents to walk through, etc.)
      For London, we spent months (maybe a year or more?) going through multiple rounds of ticket lotteries. I would halt work on occasion to sign up at random times and we’d enter individually and hope that one of us hit, then frantically call to confirm we all wanted to pay $X to see Y random event and that we didn’t have conflicting tickets or plans. We just planned to be there the whole time at home base in London and then figured out treks to venues as they came. Be aware that events can happen very far away, so be prepared for that and don’t stack events on one day that don’t make sense for travel. We took advantage of days without events by doing other things in the city. Getting around in both center cities turned out to be pretty easy because so many locals flee. Be aware that the tickets available in the lottery are the ones left over after lots of priorities have come first – home country, VIPs, athletes, media, etc., but they were all fine. It’s fun. Just be open to the experience and don’t get stuck on specific events, esp if popular

      1. Yes I was a teenager in Atlanta in 1996. The first week and a half there were so many free and cheap tickets available. Some of my friends danced in the opening or closing ceremonies and their families got to attend dress rehearsals. Of course I’m sure security is different now, but my family could watch the marathon from the side of the street and we had fun just being a part of it all. It was hot and exhausting too – it’s the Olympics!!!!!!! But it’s still a tiring day

  6. Has anyone done laser for toe nail fungus? I’ve done oral antifungals and it came back a few months after I finished the course. Have an appointment with a podiatrist to discuss next steps, but curious as to others’ experiences. I am skeptical of laser treatment mostly because it’s not covered by insurance and thus more profitable for the podiatrist. But maybe I’m wrong to be skeptical?

    1. I did a year of laser plus the topical. Didn’t work for me, but following this with interest. I’m convinced the topical they recommended made it much worse.

      I’ve mostly given up but do a twice daily Vicks with a toothbrush to keep me sane.

          1. I guess trust your doctor, but fungus > socks, especially in a damp environment. I’m sorry because I know shoes are expensive (and I love shoes) but if it’s living in your shoes, you’re never going to beat it.

            It’s like trying to get rid of head lice without ever washing your bedding.

    2. Anecdotal, but mine cleared up in the pandemic when I stopped wearing closed shoes and lived in flip flops.

    3. I had this done years ago with great results. I had multiple treatments, and when I started to see evidence of it returning I went back for occasional treatments. Totally worth it. They also gave me a UV light to put in my shoes to treat them, plus a big plastic bag that I put my shoes in as part of a process to kill the fungus (a fumigation, basically).

      Do it. It’s so nice to banish the fungus from your toenails.

  7. Hello ‘Rettes:

    I have thick, slightly wavy hair just past my shoulders. I usually wind up twisting it into a loose bun/top knot or clipping it up and away casually with a claw clip, but I’m looking for some easy yet cute styles that I could do without a ton of product or multiple steps (if they exist?). I do blow dry my hair with a special tool that is a round brush and blow dryer in one for a slightly more sleek/”blown out” look every couple days but having hair around and in my face can sometimes get on my nerves so I’m hoping for a “step 2” style that makes the most of the bouncier, sleeker hair.
    I have scrunchies, clips, barrettes, and claw clips but would be open to other ideas!

    1. Have you tried the Fiona hairpins? Same purpose as a claw clip, but an elegant little thing that tucks itself away in your hair.

    2. We have the same hair. I too need it up because it can get so heavy and in my face. Have you considered curling your hair on day two or three? I take 4-6 large, vertical sections curling away from my face. My hair can hold that for a day or two before I rely on clips and pony tails. For accessories, I recently started using French hair pins and those pointed head bands to lift at the root. Clips and barrettes just get lost in my hair.

    4. there are Gibson rolls and things like that if you want fancier looks — i can never quite use those for more than a few hours because my head starts to hurt, and also i don’t look great with my hair slicked back, so I want some loose, but then that loose part misbehaves or is annoying.

      1. Yes, I have a similar issue of slicked back hair not being my best look but hair in my face is annoying as heck after a bit! Thank you :)

    5. Late to this, but I have the same hair, use the same type of tool, and do a lot of easy half-up type styles. Usually some version of twisting and pinning back the front side pieces with bobby pins or french combs, similar to this: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/6614730687321522/ . Or more fully half-up, secured in the back with a barrette. Sometimes I touch up the waves on the bottom half with a curling iron on day 2 or 3.

  8. Can anyone recommend any good summer programs for rising 9th graders? My son has never been away to camp but I think he’d enjoy a taste of independence. He loves history and gaming. I’ve looked at CTY but nothing there speaks to us.

    1. Most colleges and universities have residential academic enrichment summer camps for that age group. Often aimed at gifted/bright kids but not very selective, so really most kids who are academically inclined can go. I’d just pick some schools and start looking at their brochures and see if anything grabs him. The university I work at offers a lot of coding/gaming/virtual reality stuff.

      That said, if he is truly gifted as opposed to just smart – like top 1% or better – I think he would benefit from an experience like CTY where he is surrounded by similar kids. Highly gifted kids often struggle to relate to normal peers and being around people like them for the first time can be life-changing.

      1. he’s “super cognitive” and in all advanced classes, but kind of sluggish with his grades… part of why I want him to go is to be a bit more ambitious to go somewhere.

      2. there are also out door programs– like bike trips or outward bound. for what it is worth, i have two kids and they have done all kinds of summer activities (traditional summer camps, college programs, bike trip, teen tour) and the teen tour, while on the face of it by far the least “quality” was probably the one that shaped him the most– had his first girlfriend, etc. a big piece is what you want to spend and where you live and if you’re willing for them to fly….

      3. I went through science camp at my local university that age and it was life changing. I didn’t know at the time why I didn’t have friends (I know now I’m ‘twice exceptional’) but I met some folks I still talk to to this day. I even got to ride in a very revolutionary solar powered race car!

        1. Same, right down to the solar powered race car! I don’t think it matters that it was local — I moved into the dorms and didn’t have contact with my parents for 3 weeks or whatever the length of the program was. It would have been very cool to go abroad though.

    2. I adored Oxbridge Academic’s programs in England when I was a teenager a couple decades ago. But, I might do a week-long camp closer to home as a first away from home experience.

      1. These look amazing! Not OP but have a slightly younger kid and my wallet will be very sad you told me about this.

    3. I attended CTY and loved it. I would never sign my kid up for it because a few years back they had a staffing crisis and cancelled many of the in-person programs just days before they were set to begin, leaving thousands of families high and dry.

  9. heading to puerto rico for this first time this christmas break. Please give me all your best recos. I am coming from outside the US if it matters with just my husband. Total 5 nights, 6 days.

    2. Can I ask why you’re going to PR? It was my understanding the tourism industry there is basically just built for Americans without passports who want to go ‘abroad’ without actually leaving.

      1. Eh it’s a Caribbean island. It’s definitely not my favorite but it attracts people from all over and there’s nothing really American about it except that we can go there w/o passports.

        1. i’m not the original poster but what is wrong with wanting to go away and not having to go through customs? i haven’t been there since a baby moon (18 years ago) but we stayed at a hotel, swam, played tennis, slept….. i don’t think we did anything cultural….

      2. Seeing family in the midwest right after and wanted to be somewhere really warm before we do that. Have been to Florida before. Surely it cant be THAT bad?

        1. I’m not the prior poster but… it’s not great. There are so many better islands that aren’t any/much farther – Bahamas, Turks and Caicos, St. Martin, the US and British Virgin Islands are all in the same area and all much nicer imo.
          But I think I’m in the minority. Lots of people seem to like it.

          1. Similar experience. It’s fine but esp if you’re coming from outside the US I wouldn’t put a premium on going.

          2. Yeah I feel this way too. It’s convenient for a quick dose of sun for US folks but not what I would pick for picturesque beaches and Caribbean vibes.

          3. As someone who has spent a lot of time on one particular us virgin island I would disagree. Puerto Rico is great. My parents are enamored with the rustic beach bum lifestyle but Puerto Rico has big hotels with spas and bars that stay open past 10. I’m sure the rest of the places you mentioned are lovely but I’d advise op go to Puerto Rico over at least one particular usvi.

          4. Yeah, it definitely depends on what you’re looking for. The USVIs are not the place to go for luxe spa resorts, especially on the less developed islands like St. John, St. Croix, and Water Island (I don’t know if the latter even has hotels), but they have some of the very best snorkeling and most beautiful beaches I’ve seen (and I’ve been to a lot of the famous snorkeling spots outside of the Caribbean – Hawaii, Great Barrier Reef, French Polynesia, Indonesia, to name a few).

            Even if you want spas & restaurants though, PR wouldn’t be high on my list of Caribbean islands. I think St. Martin has a much better restaurant scene, although I admit I’m partial to French food.

            San Juan is definitely more of a real city than anything on any of the islands I listed, but I don’t go to the Caribbean for cities.

    3. Where are you staying? Like if you don’t know yet it is…. really late to be booking anything. We enjoyed a day of exploring old San Juan, a day of beach time (though it was a lot of what Europeans would probably describe as ugly Americans – loud), and day tripping to El Yunque on a 4-night trip.

    4. I haven’t been there in years but there’s a fort in old San Juan that we explored one day it was very cool with beautiful views. I also liked strolling around old San Juan and the condodo area and basically just enjoying the gorgeous weather and water views and yummy food. Others will have recs on outdoorsy stuff but that’s not me. Hope you have a great trip!

  10. Anyone following the news on drones / ufos / orbs? I’d guess it’s foreign military related but enjoying some of the theories bouncing around the internet. Sort of fun and scary at the same time.

      1. No drones at all? I do see drones sometimes (though also a lot of prop planes). I never thought anything of it though! I just figure someone is flying a drone recreationally or to take photos or video.

      2. I think they’re just regular people flying drone, planning it over the internet. Like Gamestop stock.

        And also a lot of planes and stars

    2. a friend in the PA area was posting about them on FB and her comments were filled with kind of scary comments like “those are not planes, they’re totally dark and they just hang there…” so, creepy!

      I saw something about how the drones have to do with plasmoids and they’re studying them when they’re spraying something? TikTok’s finest info right there.

  11. A girlfriend just filed for divorce and her birthday is in a few days — what is something fabulous I can get her with that lead time? Just some fabulous flowers?

    1. If you’re good enough friends treat her to a spa day. Something similar happened to my BFF so I emailed her the digital certificate for the spa and about a week later we went. She seemed to like it or so the tears indicated.

    2. Chocolates usually have quick shipping times. Recchiuti chocolates are one option (ships from California) or perhaps Fralinger’s Candy from James Candy Co. if you’re on the East coast.

      1. Oh I used to looooooove going to that Recchiuti shop in the SF ferry building! I no longer work near there but it was the best pick me up on a crappy day.

    3. I use DoorDash to send cake slices or a treat from a local bakery. Adjust to individual tastes but it’s great for same day surprises.

    4. Husband filed for divorce last spring and when I moved out in the fall, girlfriends sent me housewarming gift cards. So so grateful.

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