Coffee Break: Spiral LED Table Lamp

105 Comments

1. Following up on this morning’s conversation about cancel culture and the need for nuance/different opinions on important social issues, does anyone have good resources to recommend? I realize that 99% of the media I take in is all following the same progressive party line and that I’m closing myself off to material that I haven’t even examined myself to see if there’s anything I like about it. What are your favorite balanced publications, podcasts, or resources that feature diverse thinkers and open debate?

   1. Politically, you might try the Pantsuits Politics, Politics Guys, Barstool Politics podcasts. I listen to all of them and they are either balanced (1 and 2) or moderate conservative (3).

   2. NPR Left Right and Center
      Sunday shows
      Bill Maher
      Reading a variety of newspapers
      The Economist

      1. Second the newspaper recommendation. I subscribe to the main newspaper from my red-state (and city) home town and it offers interesting perspective on what matters to people who live there.

         Honestly I find that most internet content is useless for this purpose. I love Bill Maher and Left Right and Center, but do not find them helpful in understanding what my family is thinking/concerned about.

         1. +1

   3. Feminist Current. I like the perspectives from Latin American and South Korean feminists that I might never have heard from otherwise.

   4. I’m also concerned about this. I think part of it is not following the social media mob when they go after someone. Read what the person originally wrote, not the snippet that’s retweeted with outrage.

      1. I think that’s critical. I’ve fallen prey (in the past) to “oh yeah that person is really awful” without ever actually reading their work myself.

   5. The pieces by the WSJ Editorial Board are usually pretty good.

      1. Oops I misread your question. I thought you were looking for articles offering something other than the progressive party line. The WSJ Editorial Board articles don’t feature diverse thinkers and open debate, but they are usually well written and offer a more conservative perspective.

   6. Cancel culture is toxic. My kids have been showing me a post from a girl who goes to their high school, which is a July 4 pic of herself and her grandmother holding up little flags with the caption “happy birthday America.”

      This poor girl has 300+ comments, most of them are about how she doesn’t support BLM, some telling her she loves black d1ck (shes 13 or 14), and a bunch of people telling her that she needs to change high schools.

      This is what kids ages 13-18 consider activism in my community.

      There has to be a better way.

      1. This isn’t cancel culture. This is kids being assholes, which is nothing new. Teenagers have always been the worst.

         1. +1 Kids being jerks.

         2. No this is cancel culture attacking others is what’s demanded to be a ‘good activist’

            1. Ok Karen

2. Before COVID, I was already working from home around 4-5 days a week and commuting occasionally to a quiet office about 20 minutes away. Once COVID hit I’ve been working from home full time and I love it.

   I’m interviewing for a great job. It would be a 40% increase in pay and a major leap in my career. Right now the job would be full time from home due to COVID but eventually it would be located a 50 minute commute away, with occasional work from home. There’s no way I can go back to a daily commute like that. I have a final interview next week and it sounds like they intend to make an offer. How do I bring up wanting to work from home as a more regular arrangement? The team is distributed globally and most of my reports would be in other countries anyways. Any advice on working this into salary negotiations?

   1. Can you just ask for it? That’s what I did and now I have a permanent WFH arrangement with a new company. Obviously you want to make the point that the team has been presumably successfully working from home for many months now in addition to the geographic spread. From what I understand, companies are having trouble filling spots because so many good candidates are staying put in their current jobs, so hopefully they would go for it.

   2. I’d bring it up after they make you an offer, as part of your negotiations.

      1. Agree. Bring it up during the offer stage.

   3. I don’t know what kind of role it is, but keep in mind if you are an exec you may need to be putting FaceTime in at the new company. I would make sure to bring this up. It doesn’t preclude you from WFH but you should couch it as “of course I’ll be spending time in the office building relationships with XYZ teams but I’d like to have my default be a remote employee.” Also, expect that your salary may be different. In my company, we have “remote” pay which is not based on your location.

      Eg. X is the pay for being in the Denver office/HQ. X-3% is the pay for AZ, ATL or STL. X+3% is Chicago, X+ 6% is Boston, X+10% is NYC and SFO. I believe our remote employees make either X or X-3%.

      1. +1 – at a certain level you need to raise these issues while you’re interviewing as part of the conversation and not as a negotiation point at the offer phase and face time does become a real issue. Also the job is only as good as all of it making sense for you. If an eventual 50 minute/2 hour a day commute is too much, then that’s relevant information to have and discuss with the person who would be your prospective boss. Attitudes toward WFH, as we’ve seen here, vary widely & you want to make sure that if you are intending to WFH a lot that you’ll be working for someone who’s supportive of it.

3. Help! I was going to send those Tiffany’s cookies to a relative for her birthday, but just realized that her address (suburbs of Denver) is not in the delivery area. Can anyone recommend a sweets delivery service that serves that area? I need it to get there no later than Saturday. I would also consider flower delivery in a pinch.

   1. We recently received Baked By Melissa cupcakes as a gift in the mail and they were a hit. The packaging was effective at keeping them cool.

   2. Milk bar! I love the funfetti cakes (forget their official name) and also the same cookies.

      1. +1

      2. Thank you! This looks perfect.

4. Has anyone turned on Fox News during the day just to see what their coronavirus coverage has been like? I know what they’re saying at night during the opinion-heavy shows (Hannity, etc.) but I’m genuinely curious what they’ve been saying during the day. I keep CNN on low or mute in my office, but I don’t get Fox.

   1. You could go to the Fox News website or look up its TV listings.

   2. It’s a hot mess and will infuriate you in two seconds. Politically I am moderate and lean right of center on a few issues and Fox News is the worst.

      1. I’m not considering getting Fox, I’m just wondering what kind of coronavirus content my family members are watching during daytime coverage. I’ll look at their website as the person above suggested.

         1. Cliff notes: if you wear a mask, you might as well just handover your gun.

            Seriously. Cousin in Alabama posted a tirade about this on FB with this exact conclusion, “citing” bunk studies and people, and all. I cannot. But, I can (and did) mute her for another 30 days.

   3. You may not even get coronavirus coverage. They spend a lot of time talking about preserving statues right now, based on 30 minutes at my dentist’s office.

5. I genuinely want this lamp for my bedroom or something. I love it!

6. Can we all agree that suicide jokes are unacceptable? It’s pathetic that there’s been a rash of suicide jokes here about Epstein’s consort. If you want to discuss current events, great. If you think suicide is funny, yiiiiiiikes.

   1. They aren’t suicide jokes because it wasn’t suicide. Basically the entire developed world acknowledges he died under very suspicious circumstances and it’s not unreasonable to believe that Ghislaine Maxwell will too. I think it’s a little ridiculous that a conversation about government corruption is being censored.

      1. No, this is specific to the remarks that have been made here about his girlfriend committing suicide over the past few days. As in, quoting the best joke they’ve seen about it from Twitter & taking bets about when it will happen. Some eventually get deleted, so maybe not all have been seen by everyone. But it’s not a political conversation.

         1. The remarks about his girlfriend committing suicide are not jokes about suicide or even speculation that she would commit suicide, they are speculation that she will be murdered and that it will be called a suicide, similar to Epstein.

   2. I did not interpret that as a joke. I took it as a conspiracy theory.

   3. No one was joking on that thread. They were talking about the real risk that Maxwell (or, as you put it, “Epstein’s consort”) will be killed and it will be made to look like an accident.

   4. To me, most of it read as speculation rather than joking.

      1. “Guess the date of her suicide” sound like serious business to you?

         1. The poster who posted that this morning actually said guess the date of her suicide or her death by covid…this isn’t speculation or joking about her actually committing suicide, it’s speculation that she will be murdered and it will be covered up and called a suicide.

   5. Yeah, this really isn’t about mental illness; no one was mentally ill. Epstein was seeking help because he felt threatened; he wasn’t suicidal. If you want to take this seriously, you should feel concerned that someone may have gotten away with murder here.

      1. Someone got away with both murder AND sex trafficking.

   6. I’m the one who posted about the joke about “if you were surprised that JE killed himself, just think how surprised he was.” And I have lost an immediate family member to suicide.

      1. You also like to repeat racist slurs and think black people are too sensitive about white people’s well-intentioned remarks about BLM. So this joke is just one more thing you’re wrong for.

         1. This is untrue. I’ve followed LaurenB for longer than all her haters have and I’ve never once seen that, even though I’ve seen plenty of comments that I’ve disagreed with. If you’re arguing that she’s not allowed to disagree with black people, that’s another position entirely and one that many WILL disagree with.

   7. I agree that suicide jokes are unacceptable. However, the commentary about Epstein and his consort are not suicide jokes (I suppose maybe a poster was joking but my comments and my read of the other comments were not jokes), those are very real concerns people have about his death being a staged suicide and worry/speculation that the same will happen to her.

      1. “This is the best joke I’ve seen on Twitter … ” & “I’m taking bets on when it will happen“ sound a bit too jolly.

         1. Or maybe cynical because we’re all being played by the scum of the earth?

         2. The joke isn’t about suicide, the joke (if you can really call it one and not just people expressing exasperation at the situation) is that we are all expected to believe that Epstein’s death was a suicide and that the same people are going to try to pull another one over on us. It’s not about suicide. It’s about murder that’s covered up as a suicide.

   8. No one thinks suicide is funny. We are mocking the idea that we’re expected to believe that Epstein’s death was a suicide.

      1. LaurenB thinks she’s funny and she knows a guy who thought about suicide once, see above.

         1. You’re really not understanding what’s going on here, are you?

            1. Anonymous must be a troll I refuse to believe anyone who identifies with the demographic of this board is so dense.

            2. Why did the chicken cross the road???

   9. it wasn’t a joke.

7. I’ve been sitting on the floor a LOT during quarantine with my kids. I’d like to buy a few floor pillows/ cushions – anyone have some they like? Thanks!

   1. If you find something nice, please post here! I have been floor-sitting a lot too!

   2. My son has a pottery barn fur covered beanbag in his room and I love it so much.

   3. Dog beds! I know this sounds ridiculous, but my mom used to buy the ones that look like giant pillows at Big Lots or TJ Maxx and they made the best, most durable and comfortable floor pillows even with all 8 of us putting them through the ringer.

8. Can someone explain Nicole Cliffe to me? Why are mentions of her all over my Twitter? I know she writes a parenting column on slate but surely that’s not it? Why is she important?

   (Not bashing her- what I know I like! I just don’t really get it).

   1. She and Daniel (nee Mallory) Ortburg founded the delightful website the Toast, which was feminist, occasionally hilarious, occasionally tear jerking etc, which I miss terribly. Both now have advice column gigs, which works really really well for Nicole, and so-so for Daniel.

      Nicole’s writing on race (as an adopted asian woman) is thoughtful and profound.

      1. Your second paragraph is about a different Nicole, Nicole Chung, also of The Toast. She wrote a memoir about her experiences.

      2. Nicole Cliffe isn’t the adopted Asian who wrote for the Toast. That’s Nicole Chung!

         Nicole Cliffe was one of the Toast founders but she’s white and formerly Mormon (I think?)…

   2. Nicole Cliffe is a wealthy Canadian writer who is a SAHM and has a very prolific online presence, including a truly over-the-top Twitter presence. She’s very polarizing.

      1. She *had* a truly OTT Twitter presence, including a lot of those weirdly personal questions famous people get everyone else to answer, sporadic deactivations, and a long-running beef with a NYMag writer who eventually hired a lawyer to see about suing her for defamation, so her own lawyer told her to never engage with him again on any medium. Eventually she decided Twitter was bad for her and deleted her account again, apparently for good.

   3. Thanks all! I had not realized The Toast connection.

9. My CSA is kicking my butt in a good way, and I need some new recipes. Can anyone recommend a blogger or cookbook writer who makes veggies taste good? So many of the recipes I find online sound like random things thrown together with more concern for sounding fancy than tasting good!

   1. Not a blog, but Jack Bishop’s Vegetables Every Day is one of the best vegetable cookbooks around and definitely makes my veggie box much easier to deal with.

   2. I’ve heard really good things about Mark Bittman’s How To Cook Everything Vegetarian as a resource for cooking with veggies.

   3. Deborah Madison, Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone. I am an omnivore but cook from this at least weekly. It’s always delicious.

      1. +1. This book is in the top 5 of books that taught me how to cook and is the book that made me like vegetables. The chapter devotes several pages to each vegetable commonly found in the US, with instructions on how to select, prep, and cook it. Then there are 2-3 recipes, often with variations and cross-references for dressings or sauces.

         Honestly, I rarely pull my tattered, food-stained copy off the shelf anymore, but I probably use the principles from the vegetable chapter 5 times a week. Also, the salad dressings are amazing, there’s a quinoa salad recipe that’s my favorite, and there’s an enchilada recipe with goat cheese, red mole, and golden raisins that’s a lot of work but SO good when we have vegetarians over for dinner parties.

   4. Joshua McFadden’s Six Seasons cookbook

      1. i adore this cookbook too! it’s been really fun following along with it as the produce comes in season. we started in the winter so it was an interesting start learning about root vegetables more but i am loving the current carrots/peas/fava beans

   5. Cookie and Kate!

      1. Yes! She even does a monthly recipe roundup for seasonal ingredients.

   6. Heidi Swanson’s 101 cookbooks blog is wonderful for this.

      1. +1000x.

   7. Burt Greene’s cookbook, Greene on Greens is a workhorse A to Z reference on recipes for vegetables. Originally published in 1984, it requires no exotic or esoteric ingredients, now does it require chef level kitchen skills. The recipes are solid – they are tasty and they work. But they aren’t plain. First used by me in 1989; last use was two weeks ago.

10. To me, this light does not look stylish in the least. It looks like a work light for the garage.

11. What’s everyone making for lunch these days? I am so bored with my usual options. Any fun salad, sandwich, or snack ideas you’ve been enjoying?

    1. I just learned to recreate the Ruby Tuesday’s salad-bar salad – noodles, ham, peas. . . yum!

       1. Oh wow this unlocked a sense memory I’d completely lost. I could power down a whole bunch of that salad, and I only ate lunch an hour ago.

          1. Ha! Glad i helped!

    2. I’ve been recreating my favorite salads from sweetgreen — currently loving the peach and burrata (check the website/app for specific ingredients and modify as desired).

       1. Oh man this looks so good

    3. Less healthy but my husband makes delicious nachos. He uses a sharp vegetable peeler to put one very thin slice of cheese (mild cheddar) on each chip, then one pickled jalapeño slice on each chip, then under the broiler. One single layer of chips so each one gets toasty. He likes the cheese slightly browned. They’re honestly better than any nachos I’ve ever had at a restaurant.

       I’ve been making sourdough bread, and I made jam from my plum tree, so I’ve been having a lot of sourdough pb&j sandwiches. Not bad. But the nachos are better. :)

       1. I like your husband’s style.

    4. This week it’s quinoa, cumin roasted butternut squash, chopped walnuts, red onion, pomegranate seeds and spinach.

12. My husband and I just found out we will likely be unable to have a biological child. Our tests had been promising up to this point and we are devastated. We are in the process of closing on our “forever” home, which should be a joyous occasion and instead is causing so much pain because we chose this house to raise a family in.

    On top of this, I am a biglaw associate and am absolutely slammed and have been since March. I have been trying to leave biglaw but the COVID job market has not been helpful. I had no days off this weekend for the holiday and see no break in the near future. Work feels so overwhelming right now and we have to schedule some more appointments to discuss “next steps.” I am really having trouble focusing on work for any length of time. Any suggestions as to how to handle all of this without completely breaking down?

    1. I am so sorry. Thinking of you. Allow yourself time to process this news, even if you have to take a sick day. The world, and work, will be waiting when you are ready. But you need time to grieve this loss.

    2. I’m so sorry, I’ve been there and it is so hard. I saw a psychologist to help me process and found it really helpful, but her most immediate advice was basic self care – breathing exercises, anything that engaged the senses (e.g. savouring a cup of coffee, listening to a song that made me laugh in spite of myself, cuddling my cat) and anything to reduce the pressure on myself (hiring cleaners, not feeling bad if cooking was too hard and just ordering food delivery). I’m not sure if this is a helpful perspective so please disregard if not but I found that giving up on the idea of using my own eggs took the time based pressure off and we considered our options when we felt ready (we looked into adoption but ended up going with donor eggs).

    3. I am so sorry that you’re facing this. I don’t have much good advice, other than to let yourself grieve and accept that you’re not going to magically “get over it” in a few days. And, don’t feel like you need to make big decisions RIGHT NOW on the family planning front. Let yourself feel all the feelings before choosing another course.

    4. Sending you hugs. Can you try to schedule in some mini self care tasks? Think making a really good cup of coffee / getting in a short workout / going for a walk outside. These connections to the tangible world really helped me when i was struggling in ibanking and struggling with my place in the world.

       I’m not a parent and I don’t have the family I would have chosen. There is no fairness about the hands we are all dealt on this subject. It has helped me to largely stay away from social media (other than sports focused content) and the endless “who can be a more awesome family” competition that seems to go on there. I also make time to pursue hobbies (when I can) that throw me together with people from many different walks of life. I have chosen to live in a neighborhood that is diverse and closer to a (small) city center – some of my neighbors have kids, some are retired, some are single, some are multigenerational. It has helped me to stay away from the areas that are populated by smugmarrieds and the “faaaaamily is the best thing ever!!” types.

       I have a job I (mostly) enjoy, I love to cook and bake, In non-rona times I was getting some good interesting travel in (especially around holidays when others are with family), I lift my weights, I’m a good friend and colleague, someday i might even be a 5.0 tennis player… It isn’t the family centered existence I thought that I would have but I lead a full and engaging life and have gotten to experience / do things that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I highly recommend the piece “The Ghost Ship that Didn’t Carry Us” by Cheryl Strayed

    5. Hi there. First, I’m sorry. This sucks. Second, don’t make any big decisions yet. Don’t say you will never X because as time goes on, you may change your mind. Share with those who will support you but also keep in mind that you may not want those people prying when they think they are helping.

       Don’t be afraid of therapy or even medication. I’ve done both. I’m the one on the embarrassing stories thread that almost rage quit when my depression from infertility was not properly treated. No two journeys are alike.

       The reddits on infertility and child free not by choice have been helpful. We ran the gamut of trying IUIs to trying one IVF (no insurance coverage) to trying to adopt to realizing that 5 years of total uncertainty was enough and that we would now like to just live our awesome life as is. I literally just told our adoption attorney today to send back our money, we are taking a break. Maybe I’ll feel differently in six months or a year. That’s okay too.

       Also, while I don’t wish anything bad on anyone, it helps to learn sometimes that those hashtag blessed people aren’t always living the fairy tale they claim to be. Two friends come to mind that each have three kids and had constant family focused social media. Within the past year, both of those friends got divorced. Another family that is as Norman Rockwell painting as they come just got a devastating cancer diagnosis. My point is we all have some $hit that we have to deal with and now us infertiles have to figure out how to deal with ours. For some it will be never finding a spouse, or losing a spouse to death or divorce, or a house fire, or a death of a child. Few people have a truly perfect life.

       In the long run, you will be okay even if you do not feel that way now. Those empty bedrooms may be filled with visiting friends and extended family, or adopted dogs or foster cats or adopted children or maybe you move to an amazing loft or a condo on the ocean.

       We are planning some epic travel post-covid (all the business class seats) and hopefully an early retirement with the money that we will save – but that’s after spending a lot of money trying to get our baby. Any path you take is the right one for you.

    6. A hug for you. Many of my friends struggle with infertility and it is such a hard thing.

       You have to schedule appointments to discuss “next steps.” You do not have to schedule them now, or next week, or next month. If you cannot have a biological child, your next steps may be IVF with a donor egg, IVF with donor sprm, fostering, attempting to adopt (long, hard, expensive, and not guaranteed), or… nothing.

       Schedule the appointments for whenever works for you, not what works for the schedule of those who are being paid by you to help you.

       1. Hi, adoptive parent here. I just wanted to chime in about the parenthetical that adoption is “long, hard, expensive, and not guaranteed.” Those same adjectives apply to every method of creating a family if you aren’t fortunate enough to conceive naturally and easily. In some ways, adoption IS guaranteed – there are hundreds of thousands of children waiting for families here and abroad. You can see profiles of some of those children on adoptuskids.org (US domestic) and rainbowkids.org (international). Domestic newborn adoption has numerous challenges, but for someone open to a toddler on up, there are children all around the world just waiting to call someone Mom or Dad.

          OP, go ahead and grieve. You’ll have days when you’re fine and days when you’re not. You’ll get through this stage.

          1. Oops, rainbowkids.com.

          2. That’s a lot of semi-misinformation packed in one post, hiding behind “open to a toddler on up.”

             Adopting an infant is expensive, challenging, and not a guarantee. There are literally dozens of couples for every available baby, and many couples spend tens of thousands of dollars. Couples adopting babies locally and overseas have the adoptions fall through at the last minute. You do NOT just plunk down the equivalent of a couple of car payments and take home a sweet newborn. That’s not how it works and many infertile couples are incredibly hurt when people blithely assume that they can “just” adopt.

             For many people, adopting a “toddler on up” is a good experience; for many others, it is not. Sometimes it is simply a matter of fit, so foster-to-adopt can be a better system. However, many states have utterly dysfunctional foster care systems that make it far too easy for parents to reclaim their kids. Many people who adopt “toddlers on up” are not equipped to handle the problems that come from a child who spent years in a violent, dysfunctional home – if the kid had a normal childhood, foster/adoption wouldn’t be in the cards. (My extended family, the most loving couple imaginable, adopted a kid who was about ten and spent a quarter-century in pain trying to get him on the right path.)

             You have shared your story. I’m very glad that it worked FOR YOU, but please remind yourself of those words in capital letters.

             1. At no time did I tell the OP she should “just” go adopt an infant. In fact, the only part of the previous post I was addressing is the idea that adoption “isn’t guaranteed.” I DID say there are children available because there ARE.

                Your callousness about adoption and all of its complexities is breathtaking. I agree that the American child welfare system is horribly and nearly irretrievably effed. But to write off all children everywhere – no matter what their story, no matter where they might be – because you know one family had who had a bad experience is cruel and uninformed. Our son adopted at 9 is delightful, intelligent, and a joy to us. Our cousin’s son adopted at 4 is a happy, shining light to his family. Our now-adult adopted cousins are irreplaceable parts of our family. Yes, you can find horror stories if that’s what you want to look for.

                I’m sorry you’ve struggled with infertility and I’m also sorry someone led you to believe you could plunk down “a couple car payments” and have an infant and I’m so sorry your only exposure to adoption has been negative. In case it needs to be said, my husband and I are infertile and have walked this path.

13. I need some wisdom. Especially of the Senior Attorney kind. I’m on day 4 of a bad breakup that I’m pretty sure needs to happen. But it’s breaking my heart too and now I’m the one having to hold the line. I can’t think or eat or sleep. Am I doing the right thing? Does it get better?

    1. Yes, it gets better. Yes, it was the right thing. Get outside and get some fresh air. Take a sleeping pill, eat your favorite [whatever], take a bubble bath. I know that fog of pain so well. I met my now-husband 6 months after that pain and he was perfect for me from the start – no feeling of having to try so hard to make a relationship work like I had with the painful one.

    2. Yes, you are doing the right thing.

       Yes, it gets SO MUCH BETTER.

       Hold the line, feel the feels, eat all the ice cream you need, cry as much as you want to.

       The only way out is through.

       You just have to feel like this until you don’t feel like this any more, which will happen gradually but I promise it will happen.

       This time next year will be so much better.

       You are very brave and I am very proud of you. Big hugs!

    3. Yes, it gets better, and yes, you are doing the right thing.

       You cannot guarantee a happy ending for your life, but you can put yourself in the best position to make it happen. That means not wasting more time or energy on a relationship that won’t actually work; rom coms aside, most good men aren’t going to pursue a woman who is already spoken for, and you want to be in a good head space if/when the right person comes along.

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