Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: ‘Amil – Habitat’ Round Collar Blazer

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Theory 'Amil - Habitat' Round Collar BlazerReader M writes in to recommend this Theory blazer: “I LOVE this blazer. I tried it on, and it is so flattering. Not sure how they got the collar to stay down in the picture; I thought it was collar-less until I saw it online. In person, it definitely doesn’t lay that way naturally. The material is gorgeous, almost silky, and the oyster color is surprisingly flattering, even with my super-fair complexion.” I can see this blazer looking a lot cooler sans collar — I wonder why they styled it that way?  I like the color, and can see it being a great neutral against some of this season’s bold colors.  The blazer is $455 at Nordstrom. Theory ‘Amil – Habitat’ Round Collar Blazer

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  1. Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler :

    Not a fan of the blazer, but I love the color of the shirt they put underneath.

    Threadjack: How often does Nine West have sales? I want to get these (http://bit.ly/w2wRoO) for graduation next month, but I don’t want to jump the gun if I can get the price down.

    In the alternative, has anyone seen a lower priced similar shoe? I am looking all over, but can’t think of anything but “sandal” to search, and that does nothing to narrow down the thousands of shoes on Zappos, Piperlime, etc.

    Thanks in advance, ladies.

    • Hard to tell if they’ll go on sale that soon but they are quick to drop prices and they have Friends and Family events with 25% or 30% off. I also get $10 off coupons from them pretty regularly for being part of the Nine Loves program. I just bought wedding shoes for one of my staff with my current coupon or I’d share it.

    • I don’t know if the shoes you’re looking for will be there, but 6pm.com has Nine West on sale right now so you might be able to find something similar.

      • I did some similar ones – nothing with the two colors though. Gorgeous shoes!

  2. momentsofabsurdity :

    I think its cute but a bit boxy. I do think that a stand up collar would look better than the (taped down?) collar they’ve styled it with, though. Wonder why. LOVE the orange it is paired with.

  3. I have to share a moment of domestic divaness. Months ago, I bought a red Tahari suit for $30. The jacket had horrible, Star Trek-esque shoulders but I had been looking for a skirt in that precise shade of red so bought the suit. Yesterday, I finally took the jacket out of the projects pile, removed the inch thick shoulder pads and now have a great jacket too.

    • Woohoo! I have at least 4-5 items that I won’t wear because they fit wrong or have some feature that I hate that could easily be fixed. I need to either learn to sew or donate them.

      • Salit-a-gator :

        Or take them to a tailor / seamstress / alterations guru. I’m sure you can find someone good in your area on Yelp.

  4. Salit-a-gator :

    I like the oyster color and the orange pairing, but the collar just looks off somehow. I can’t decide whether its “modern” or “out-of style from my aunt’s closet.”

  5. $455 for a blazer? It is to MUCH for me! And the manageing partner would NEVER subsideseze it, even if I liked it!

    I met another GUY this weekend, walking on 2nd Avenue. He wants to date me! But I am not sure b/c he would NOT tell me where he works. I got his CELL #. Is their a way of finding out from a CELL # where a guy work’s? I do NOT think so, but want to get the HIVE’s opinion.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I know we shouldn’t fee the trolls but I’ll bite on this one –

      You can put a phone number into “spy dialer” (google it) and it will play the person’s voice mail recording without making a record of a missed call. So, if he uses his cell for work, you might hear a recording that says “you have reached special agent mystery man, please leave a message.” If it is a personal cell, you are probably out of luck, unless he posts it on his facebook, linked in, or work profile. If that is the case, just google the number and you may find his name.

      • Huh. I just tried it with my phone, and though it didn’t ring, it did leave a missed call record. Maybe not all the spy dialers work the same?

        • Blonde Lawyer :

          Hmmm… but the missed call number should have been to a random number not linked with you at least, right? Interesting.

      • Anonynonynony :

        Wow, that’s downright devious! :-)

      • Despite the trollishness that’s actually really good info, I hadn’t heard of spy dialer, I was still using reverse phone lookup on white or yellow pages.

      • I was a big fan of a similar strategy before I got an iPhone that has a different VM setup: In my Verizon non-smartphone, I would dial into my VM, then do the option of “push 1 to send a message.” You then type in the person’s phone number, and it would take you straight to their VM. Used it for figuring out who people were, and also to leave VMs for people I didn’t feel like talking to.

        • This is genius. There are lots of people I don’t want to talk to but would rather leave a voicemail.

      • I just tried it to my phone — no trace of a missed call and it went straight to my voice mail. ‘

        Is there a version that works on Canadian numbers?

  6. Sorry, need to vent.

    Work starts at 8
    Two coworkers are chatting away loudly… at 8:45 I say: “Hey guys, it’s 8:45, you should probably get to work.”
    The response: “Oh look, you can read the time.”

    • Are you their boss? If so, they are dumb. If not, they are pretty funny..

    • I may have had a similar reaction. It’s Monday and most people are slow to start. Maybe next time just ask them to move the conversation if it’s keeping you from working.

    • Yeah, if you’re not their supervisor, then I think you were pretty out of line.

    • K in... Transition :

      I think your point was probably that you were trying to work and that theirs was that they don’t need to be policed. Their response was kinda snarky but not really out of line, nor was yours. Maybe ask them to move the conversation so you can focus or, if it’s worth the office politics, try to join for a few minutes of chat? (sending you hugs for your frustration!)

      • I agree – it drives me bonkers when people are standing over me talking and I’m trying to get to work, but I think something like “Hey guys, is it OK if you take it to the coffee room? It’s just that I’m on deadline!” works better than something that could so easily be misread as “mommying”.

    • I am sad just thinking about a no-chat office. :(

      • Anonynonynony :

        Chat all you want. Just please don’t do it standing immediately in front of my cube while I’m trying to get work done. :-) That’s what common spaces are for.

    • I certainly understand the frustration whether it was because they were not working or because they were chatting and distracting you from your work. However, your response would likely make someone have that reaction and get defensive if you are not their supervisor.

  7. K in... Transition :

    Update… I decided to take the plunge and move to small-town Ohio (northeast area… any others up there?) I move at the end of this month. I’m set with a place to live but since I’ve moved so often in the past handful of years, it’s going to be a pretty bare home since I’ve sold off or given away the decorative touches I can’t currently afford to re-purchase right now. I figure, worst case, I’ll return to Miami in 6 mos or a year or whatever, so no harm in trying.

    Now that such is decided, may I just point out that I am SO over this concept of tailoring a cover letter and putting in so much time/effort when so many companies can’t even be bothered to email and tell you they’re not interested! I’ve applied for probably 100+ positions and so very few even send me a stock email. I hate that! Any tricks for not burning out from the job searching process?

    PS Thank you all so so so much for the wonderful comments and emails regarding my article. It was the most personal piece I’ve ever published and I was feeling pretty nervous when I saw it in print, your words really meant so much.

    • I no longer live there, but that’s the area of Ohio where I grew up. No matter where you are you can’t be toooo far of a drive from Cleveland or Pittsburgh, which obviously have reputations as not being the most fun places ever but there is actually plenty of stuff to do!

      You’re also in garage-sale country, so when the weather gets a little better I’d keep a lookout and try to pick up some stuff on the cheap to replace your decorative items. Good luck!

    • Good luck, K! I’m not in Ohio anymore, but I hail from and miss the area you’re moving to, so I’ll live vicariously through you, if that’s ok. :)

    • Cleveland Anon :

      De-lurking just to say I’m in the Greater Cleveland area and am thrilled that you’re headed this way.

    • Good luck with the move!

      No advice on not burning out, just some commiseration on how frustrating it is to not even get a form email response after so many job applications. It’s funny how some companies’ brand image has shot up for me just because they bothered to send a “thanks but no thanks” form email letting me know I was being rejected.

      Hang in there!

    • Tailoring cover letters is really terrible. I had a stock cover letter that was about twice as long as my regular cover letter that covered all the general topics each was asking for as well as examples or things I would want to highlight depending on the company and job. By the time you’ve written 10 cover letters, you’ve probably written almost everything you will want to write – then it’s a matter of piecing it together correctly. Still a pain, but it always felt easier for me to have them all in one place rather than shifting through old letters to find that great sentence I had written.

    • Eloise Spaghetti :

      Not sure if Canton is the city where you are headed but a few of my Ohio friends who are new lawyers are leaving Columbus to move to Canton for work. Good Luck!

      Try one of those mantras from that one feed for not getting burnt out. It’s like anything that sucks. If I stare at my budget and student loans all day it’s very depressing. I just pay the bills and close it out. So maybe just blast out the resumes for the day and switch to something else. Trolling the local craigslist for estate sales and garage sales?

    • Aw, I went to college in NE Ohio. It’s still one of my favorite areass of the country. Good luck!

  8. K in... Transition :

    I’ve decided today is Opposite Day… on a Splurge post, let’s go the other direction. If you had only $100 total dollars to spend on working wardrobe pieces, what would you buy? (Remember that the one $100 item has to be crucial and versatile since less expensive choices mean having the money to buy more items!)

    • It has to be a black A-line dress – I can’t think of anything more flexible! I’d try to find one at eg Target for £40 or so, have it tailored for £20, and spend the other £40 on a belt, a bright cardigan and a scarf, or any other components to “jazz it up” that I could find. Plus coral or other light-coloured shoes!

    • Huge sale right now with tons of new markdowns at the limited (good selection and sizes online) with Virtual Dollar ($25 off each $50) coupon codes available online if you search for them.

    • The black dress is a great idea. I would suggest you buy the dress and then a couple of cheap (F21, Target, etc.) blazers. That will allow you to get more use out of things you already have, such as sleeveless, going out, and casual tops.

      • Yep and some nice black shoes to go with it. Scarves are a must.

        • I would consider pewter shoes. Goes nicely with black, also goes well with other colors, transcends seasons, and is just a bit more fun.

          • Yesss. I wear my pewter shoes about 100x more frequently than my black shoes. I think they’re actually more versatile and less harsh!

          • Great thinking. Pewter shoes would be awesome. I also think they can go with brown.

          • I think pewter shoes go with black, navy, and olive pretty easily. I think brown, too, although you might need to be a bit careful about the undertone (?) of the brown – I think a cooler brown might be better than a warmer brown. I bet they’d go with light tan/khaki as well, and look less harsh, as TCFKAG pointed out. And of course, they go very nicely with blue jeans!

            I had a great pair of Tahari pewter wedges, but weirdly they are too big now. I imagine that my shoes just get stretched out, but is it possible for feet to shrink? I haven’t lost or gained any weight since I bought the shoes.

          • Yeah you all are completely right that pewter would be better.

          • Pewter shoes–intriguing! Any specific brands you’d recommend?

          • These are pretty:http://www.zappos.com/ak-anne-klein-wystere-pewter-mini-lizard
            But both metallic and lizard might be too much for some offices.

          • SoCal Gal :

            I have a pair of pewter mary janes that I have worn out. They are GREAT. They are, of course, no longer made. If I wanted the black ones, I could still buy them, but apparently there is one (1) pair left of the pewter ones in existence and it’s three sizes too small. Boo. Keeping an eye out for similar replacements.

          • Anonymous NYer :

            I have about 5 pairs of pewter shoes. everything from pumps to sandals to flats. obsessed.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      Does it have to be brand new? I would head straight to the ritsiest area within an hour of me and hit all the Goodwills in a several mile radius. There are usually some really awesome, barely worn things for less than $10 at those Goodwills.

      • Co-signed. I scored Chanel trousers ($30) and a great Trina Turk shift dress ($20) this way.

  9. K in... Transition :

    crud, 3 posts in a row… I’m a selfish selfish person today lol I figured it easier to respond here rather than to try to hunt down individual commenters. For those who’ve asked me for my mailing address or measurements or whatnot in the past months so they can send me their “cleanin’ out my closet” extras, please send me an email (munchkin 1616 at juno dot com) and I will send it to you now that I have a place in Ohio where I’ll be as of the 1st.

    To answer other questions, here goes (fabulous ‘ettes, please don’t judge me too harshly): I’m a small or medium in tops depending the intended fit, and an 8 bottoms. So far, my wardrobe has been bought with grad school or undergrad side job money so it’s mostly a few pairs of editors pants (8S) and a lot of solid color sweaters from old navy and such. I’m a big fan of scarves so I typically pair that with a scarf to make it at least somewhat less boring. I don’t really own any jewelry so I either go without earrings or with a pair of small cz studs, black socks, black flats or black winter boots (am a size 9-9.5 for those who asked that).

    As I keep saying, you guys really don’t need to make me your fashion makeover case but I adore those of you who are insistent since growing up with boys and living my adult life solo or with non-professional roommates paired with lack of moolah has given me a serious lack in wardrobe awareness/awesomeness.

    • Send me an email with your address (or I’ll email you if you don’t still have it from January). I probably don’t have clothes that will fit you, but I can add to the kitty!

    • I’ll shoot you an e-mail. I may actually have some stuff that would work (lost weight to that size when I was sick in the last couple years, but my healthy weight is really a couple sizes up).

  10. Anne Shirley :

    Did anyone else read the Carolyn Hax letter from the woman who didn’t want to go to her friends charity benefit, even when the friend pointed out shed been to weddings showers, baby showers, christenings, and birthdays, and felt this event was a similar life milestone?

    I’m taking it as a reminder to step it up on observing the non-traditional milestones of my friends. If I’d happily spend $100 on a wedding present, I can afford to celebrate first books/making VP/10 year friendship anniversaries.

    • I read it, and it’s really stuck with me for some reason. I looked at Hax’s FB page, and MANY of her readers disagreed with her reply, but I think she was absolutely right. The letter-writer’s comment that her friend “could have had” a wedding, baby showers etc. seemed just as disrespectful, to me, as it would have been for her friend to say something horrible like “you’d have plenty of time/money to attend this fundraiser if you hadn’t gone and had kids.”

      • I haven’t read it yet (now I will) but scr*w that. You meet your friends where they are. If your friends do charity work but don’t get married, you go to their charity events… or really even if they DO get married.

        Honestly, I think its more important to go to people’s alternative events like this. Everyone comes out for weddings and baby showers and what have you. But I remember every person who comes for my cook outs that I throw in my back yard — in some ways it means more to me that you make time for the routine or not traditional milestone events.

        • Thanks for this, as I know you do happen to be married.

          I still can’t get past the vast difference in congratulations one sees on Facebook, between “X is engaged”–or posting an ultrasound picture–and “X just finished her PhD.” My friends skew toward doctoral degrees, so I have a pretty good sample to go on. It sucks. Just click on the “Like” button at least? Can you do that for me?

          • I went to a tiny liberal arts school. Sometimes I feel like more of my friends have doctorates than any other degree (possibly combined). Its kind of a big deal in my social circle (but I recognize that we’re..um, “special”).

          • And of course, the degree isn’t the point. It’s just one example of an alternative milestone/accomplishment that traditional culture doesn’t really know how to properly honor.

            By the way, among my engaged/married female friends from my grad department, not one showed up to my completion party (which was a 20 minute drive for them and involved no gifts or fancy dress). So no community seems to be immune to this kind of bias.

          • I would have come. And brought you a cake with a puffy PHD hat on top. :-)

          • THIS! Sigh, I debate about putting stuff up on FB for this reason, because I know that most of my “friends” won’t get it, and the ones that do, don’t post on FB (since, you know, they’re off getting degrees/being landlords/generally kicking butt in life)! My husband and I purchased a rental property, so now we’re landlords. We posted a picture of us with the property on FB, stating that we’re excited to own this property, have tenants, etc…. 3 comments, 2 likes. Others posted that they are house-hunting and received tons of comments/likes. With each stage of putting in the offer, closing, signing the contract, etc. their status updates received tons of praise. Kind of disappointing.

            I’ve had several articles published in some prominent places, and those updates don’t get nearly the praise that I know I would get if I announced that I was pregnant. My graduate degree generates much less praise than houses/babies. Not to say that a pregnancy/wedding/engagement/new home isn’t exciting, but seriously, I don’t want to be lauded for the ring on my finger more than the degree on my wall. I love my husband, but I’m sure proud of the degree :)

          • Oh ladies. It’s facebook. It is not an instrument for calculating self-worth, or even worth to society. If it is causing you this much distress, you should stop using it all together, or at least cut back significantly. It’s just not worth it.

            You are all awesome and you should very proud of your accomplishments, personal and professional. I hope that your loved ones are proud of them too and, if not, you have a legitimate beef with them. But I really seriously hope that PhDs and other kick*ss professional women are not out there wasting their time pouting because their 2nd cousin or friend from elementary school made a half second decision to click “like” next to the cute baby pic but not the PhD announcement. If so: turn off the computer and slowly back away.

          • I may be alone — but I DON’T (purposefully) comment on things I know will get a million comments — like weddings, graduations, etc. because I don’t want to get alerts for a week! If I know the person well, I’ll send an e-mail or post a message directly to their wall. I also don’t do FB birthday messages — if I really want to wish someone a Happy birthday I send them an e-mail.

          • Alumnae Magazine :

            There has been a debate for years about how much column space and photo space should be devoted to wedding and baby news as compared to career news in my Seven Sisters alumnae magazine. It also raises its head every five years when it is time to fill out the reunion booklet bio. Speaking of which, has anyone read the new novel “The Red Book?”

          • I couldn’t agree more! I got married and finished my PhD at around the same time — for months afterwards people would congratulate me, and I’d think they were referring to the PhD but they were usually referring to the marriage! It really irked me that somehow people thought getting married was more of an accomplishment than the PhD I worked my @ss off for.

          • Good lord people. if you are bragging about your phd on facebook, people are rolling their eyes instead of clicking “like”

            Marriages and babies get announced and liked because those things are legit changing the life/daily structure of their family. They get congrats because its something “everyone can do” its not bragging, its just a life event. Screaming look at my advanced degrees! on fb (or, “a in contracts!” or any other version where you are bragging) doesn’t get likes because thats not something you should be putting on fb. Your close friends and families should be taking you out for drinks

          • I’m currently getting a ridiculous number of emails because I made the mistake of congratulating someone for getting into their first choice grad program, so I think it has a lot to do with the social circle you’re commenting in.

            It also has to do with the person who is posting the event. I have one friend (on fb and RL) who is incredibly friendly and social and gregarious. Her “went biking today and ate delicious scones” posts will get 40+ comments every time, while I have plenty of friends who have gotten married/had babies/successfully defended with far fewer comments just because they’re not the super popular type.

          • I don’t agree. I think people share big life events on Facebook. They share when they run a marathon. They share when they buy a house. They share all sorts of things. I like to find out these sorts of things, because it would be hard for me to keep track of all of these people’s major life events individually through other means.

            Maybe it says more about our culture that we think that people sharing educational achievements are just bragging while people getting married or having babies (which aren’t actually available to everyone) are just sharing routine life events.

          • @ Anonni and CFM: I do use Facebook much less often than I do, and almost never use the news feed at all anymore, for the reasons you mention.

            CFM, I was not “bragging” about finishing my degree any more than a new mom is “bragging” when posting baby photos. It was one of the biggest changes I ever had in my life, and a culmination of years and years of effort. It meant I was moving, changing jobs, saying goodbye to *all* of my colleagues, generally starting over. It was something I would have felt really weird not sharing with people. If I have to keep that quiet among only a few close friends/relatives who know me well, I think that’s too bad.

          • to cfm:

            Wow. I don’t have a PhD, but a few of my friends do, and I was happy for them when they finished. I didn’t roll my eyes and think they were bragging about how smart they are. You probably know your own friends — there are some people I’m fb friends with that I definitely roll my eyes at, because I know they are posting for attention. But I don’t think announcing on facebook that you’ve finished your PhD = bragging as a general rule. It’s someone saying “Hey, I’ve been working my @ss off for years on this thing and I’ve FINISHED IT! I am so excited!” Which – here’s my inner cynic coming out – might be about the same feeling some women get when they get engagged.

          • Finishing my PhD was most decidedly life-changing, getting married to my partner of many years was not. As the OP pointed out, it’s worth remembering that what counts as a significant milestone is different for every person, and certainly for our close friends we should be making an effort to celebrate the things that are important to them, not just the milestones that society tells us are important.

          • I agree with someone who said it’s more about who’s posting it. I love hearing about life events, for instance an acquaintance of mine from a study abroad program has finally committed to becoming barred in the US and she just announced that she signed up for the MPRE. Now, back in law school everyone would have rolled their eyes and said big whoop, because we were all taking it, for her, it IS a big deal!

            On the other hand, I have a friend who got engaged almost a year ago and EVERY. SINGLE. UPDATE. since then has been about the wedding, the wedding dress, the wedding dress workout, their baby plan, the honeymoon, etc…every single time she pops up on my newsfeed (not often since I unsubscribed to her) I just roll my eyes and scroll down…

          • Let’s forget about the PhD. As monday said, the degree isn’t the point–it’s any milestone in someone’s life that doesn’t involve a marriage/family.

            Frankly, cfm’s comment voices the same sentiment that the Carolyn Hax column is trying to dispel. If I’m getting married or having kids, it’s “legit” for a celebration, but anything else has to be kept off facebook, or it will l0ok like bragging? I just go out and have a few drinks with my parents? What if this is “it” for me–no husband, no family, no house, just X thing that I’m not allowed to share with anyone? Thanks a bundle.

          • As someone who has a hard enough time getting an article out every once in a while my hat’s off to anybody who has finished a PhD. So even though I don’t know when it happened to you, congrats Monday!

            As for FB posts about milestones, tone is crucial. I don’t think it’s bragging if someone expresses excitement about getting into a dream PhD program, law school, clerkship, or whatever. Of course I’m jealous of other people’s successes and I don’t particularly like being confronted with my own mediocrity, but I’m still capable of being happy for friends who excel. A certain number of folks are bound to get into Yale Law School / obtain Supreme Court clerkships / write brilliant and influential articles, the group may just as well include some of my friends. But we could all imagine ways to communicate that kind of information that’s just downright obnoxious (e.g., posting about how hard it is to choose between firms A, B and C for the summer when many of your friends have no options at all).

            And the same thing absolutely applies to FB posts about children.

          • I think i’ll rethink now that the point has been made that its about who posted it. The circles I run in are actually more on the grad school/phd/law school, I haven’t seen a lot of married/baby posts. I just think posting that your having a baby is more about how your life is changing (ie it is not because I am so smart and awesome and talented that I am having a baby), and earning a degree is more about look at how much work I have done, congratulate me! I am smart! validate me! I’m thrilled when my friends have educational achievements, but I view facebook as you are not trying to reach your friends, your trying to reach your acquaintances. I’m so anti facebook in general, so maybe I’m not the best barometer about what is or is not facebook worthy.

          • This is a really interesting discussion and now I almost wish we would have a separate open thread on facebook and the modern woman, or something like that. The issue between marriage/family accomplishment and career accomplishments extends beyond facebook, of course, so maybe that should be its own open thread too.

            I personally don’t post much at all on facebook- I don’t do status updates as a rule, ever. But I did change my profile to “engaged” and then “married” at the appropriate time. So when I graduated from law school, I don’t think it would have shown up because the education stuff doesn’t go on news feed. This could be part of the marriage/engagement thing– its just that the facebook settings make this show up on everyone’s news feed even if you don’t type out a specific status update.

            I think the distinction for me was that I don’t put my place of employment on facebook either- I use linkedin and try not to conflate the personal and work aspects of my life. But facebook went crazy at bar results time (and on Match Day, for my med school friends), so that professional accomplishment is definitely celebrated.

            I will never put an ultrasound or pregnancy announcement on facebook- just my own personal discomfort. I can’t even articulate the line that is crossed for me, it just feels like too much.

          • Anonni’s comment re ultrasound pictures reminded me:

            Check out STFU Parents sometime. Kept me up WAY too late last night. Some people think it’s appropriate to post pictures of their water birth, their baby still attached via umbilical, or, a personal “favorite” a placenta in the shape of a heart!!!

          • http://whatshouldwecallme.tumblr.com/post/21216910971/how-i-feel-when-i-post-something-on-facebook-and-no-one

          • I LOVE whatshouldwecallme. I don’t remember where I got it (probably from here, maybe from you?) but I can definitely spend waywayway too much time there…

          • So in February, I successfully defended my dissertation and had a baby in the span of 3 weeks. The PhD got 23 likes and 12 comments, while the baby got 14 likes and 32 comments. So not too unbalanced in my group of Facebook friends!

      • Our society does seem to value personal achievements (marriage/family/even marathons) over career ones. I’m not sure that I think this is necessarily right or wrong, but it is what it is. For what it’s worth, I think it is true for both men and women- people get more excited about a man’s marriage than any professional/career achievement, short of winning a Nobel prize. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make an effort to celebrate all of your friends’ achievements, but I think it’s a bit apples and oranges to compare weddings/births and professional accomplishments. For me, they just aren’t equivalent things, they are whole separate spheres of life.

        Also, I immediately thought of the same SATC episode as previous posters…

        • Oh and, despite all of the above, I agree with Ms. Hax that the letter writer was guilty of being, at the very least, a terrible friend.

    • Always a NYer :

      This reminds me of a SaTC episode where Carrie’s Monolos get stolen at a baby shower. When she tells the friend, the woman offers her money but not enough to replace them. Carrie is upset because she was always generous to her friend – gifts for engagement, bachelorette party, wedding, all three kids – and feels she’s being treated unfairly because she’s single and childless. At the end, she leaves a message on the friend’s answering machine announcing that she’s getting married, to herself, and is registered at Monolo Blahnik. My favorite part was when the friend was at the store to buy the shoes and she gets told to keep her children from touching the shoes. Karma =p

    • I’d love to read it if you have a link!

    • I thought the tone of the letter was set when the LW started out by saying “I have a group of friends from college, and we are quite close. One of them pursued a career, while the rest of us balanced career and family ambitions.” It seems like she was slightly judgment of her friend’s choices to begin with and that was compounded by the snub of the friend’s event. If I were the friend I would also be totally hurt.

      Also, I am unbelieveably tired of The Mommy Wars.

      • Oh, the tone was absolutely set. It wasn’t *slightly* judgmental either.

      • I think the tone is fairly obnoxious – “the rest of us balanced career and family ambitions”. As if it is the friends fault that she is unmarried. Perhaps she never met anyone with whom she could see a future. Or she did but they didn’t want the same. So much of it is luck I think, and it is annoying to hear people suggest that if a person had just applied themselves they could be happily married.

    • Also, can the LW really have no concept of how much it costs to go to one wedding? It’s hardly a matter of a $25 gift.

      • Anne Shirley :

        Exactly! I think this is what struck me the most, and I love how Hax gets it- it isn’t about tge money, it’s about the support. And when you’re contemplating just donating $200 instead, it really doesn’t sound like it’s about the money.

        • MaggieLizer :

          This! I’m getting pretty tired of the “I can’t afford it” excuse when it comes from people who really CAN afford it, they just choose to prioritize their spending otherwise. You adjust the budget when a friend has a special event so you can be there to support her.

          • Totes McGotes :

            Exactly – you borrow a dress and leave your husband at home so you don’t have to pay for a sitter and a new suit, but you make. it. happen.

            I can understand not thinking at first that a charity benefit might be considered a milestone, but once confronted with the fact that the friend felt that way, she should have stepped up to support her. But instead of saying something like “I didn’t realize how important this was to you, I’ll be sure to attend then,” she got defensive and judgmental.

            And yes, I was completely disgusted by the opening implication that her friend *failed* to “balance career and family ambitions.”

          • Agree. On the same note, I recall a poster a few weeks ago with a similar problem. She was buying a house that year and wanted to back out of attending a wedding where she a bridesmaid because she “couldn’t afford it.”

            I’ve long believed that we make time and find money for things that are important to us. If that is the case, own it — but don’t claim you “can’t” when what you really mean is “this isn’t a big enough priority for me to make sacrifices to attend.”

      • I was thinking that too (sorry to be so loudmouthed on this TJ!) My friends’ weddings involve plane tickets, hotels, time off work, meals out, etc in addition to the gifts. I also can’t ever imagine anyone begging off attending a wedding because they would need to “purchase new clothes” in order to attend.

        • Yes, the time spent needs to be taken into consideration too. Weddings often cost you a whole weekend or multiple weekends when there’s travel for showers or bachelorette parties. This dinner is ONE evening.

      • Okay I just read it. Can we backtrack to the fact that this woman goes to her friends children’s BIRTHDAY PARTIES!!! That is a d*mn good friend right there. Geesh, she doesn’t know what she has.

    • Something about the response didn’t sit right with me, for some reason. I think, fairly or not, I don’t quite perceive a charity fundraiser as being quite the same as earning a degree, or publishing a book, or getting promoted, or earning tenure (all of which, I agree, are worthy of celebration!). What if I don’t want to support your organization?

      Overall, I agree that the LW came off as smug and judgmental about her single “career gal” friend, and I certainly agree that non-family-related milestones are as worthy of celebration (and expense) as weddings and babies, etc. I just felt like there might be room for both parties to be wrong in this particular scenario.

      • Anne Shirley :

        The letter writer didn’t say anything about not wanting to support the charity, and the friend had just been appointed to the board. I think friend explained that, for her, this is a similar milestone. And I also think it is telling that letter writer wasn’t proposing an alternate- I’d be more sympathetic had the letter read- jeez, I’ve already sent flowers andctaken her out to dinner, and I just don’t like her charity!

      • Not wanting to support the org is a totally different story, and the LW didn’t say anything about that. In fact, she said she would rather just give the charity $200 so she didn’t have to go to the event.

  11. Swollen Pregnant Feet :

    Any suggestions for comfy and stylish flats for swollen pregnany feet? I bought a cheap pair of ballet flats that fit well but don’t have enough of a sole to prevent me to feel every step I take is pounding directly on concrete. I bough loafers from Naturalizer and AK, but they are tight across the top. I need something for work but it would be great if they were cute enough for weekends too!


    • Walking Cradles. I got a cute pair of silver ballet flats there that have great arch support. Wear them all the time (although they could be a little cutesy for work).

    • I wore Me Too flats every day for half of my pregnancy. My feet started swelling at 20 weeks and I could no longer wear heels without getting balloon feet.

      • Me Too! ha ha, pun intended. I now own six pairs of stretched out Me Too flats.

        • PharmaGirl :

          I ceremoniously tossed mine in the garbage a few weeks after giving birth. I was so sick of wearing the same shoes everyday and excited to wear heels again. And then I bought a new pair of Me Too flats for chasing the toddler on weekends. Oh, the irony!

    • I was pretty miserable in flats when I was pregnant — not enough support. I lived in a pair of mary janes with 2-1/2 heels by Aerosoles. Maybe not the most glamorous shoe, but very sturdy and the heel was fine for me.

      Lace-up loafers worked for me too. Think support, not necessarily flat.

      • Me too! I wore a black skirt, black tights, and black Aerosole maryjane heels virtually every day of my third trimester. The heels and tights actually felt much more comfortable and supportive than any other work-appropriate combination I could come up with, plus then you get to impress people with the fact that you’re still wearing heels at nine-months pregnant.

    • I lived in these during the last few months of my pregnancy – super-comfortable and cute!


    • Maybe you could sacrifice a pair (or three) of those loafers and get them stretched out at the local cobblers? I just took three pairs of shoes to get repaired in various ways, for a grand total of $50. So much more convenient than hunting down three new pairs of shoes.

    • I lived in a pair of black Cole Haan flats while I was pregnant. Walked about a mile each way to work in them the entire time. They had the nike air technology so were more supportive than your average pair of flats. I still wear them now, a year later, although they are a little stretched out from all the swelling!

    • Seattleite :

      You might try picking up the SmartFeet inserts. They helped immensely with that specific issue, and you can swap them out when you change shoes.

  12. It’s a better day! Found out Friday afternoon that an upgrade request I submitted for one of my staff was approved. She so deserves it – it’s going to be a much more interesting job for her and about a 20% raise in a year when raises are paltry. Can’t say how excited I am for being able to make this happen!

    Oh and to make our Monday morning wonderful, construction started on a new office across from mine. Happy to have that for the new person I’m hiring, but a bit distracting.

    • hellskitchen :

      I am always heartened to hear of managers who go to bat for their staff, especially in light of all those stories about how women lack “sponsors.” NOLA, you sponsored this staff member – kudos to you!

      • Thanks! I think I’m probably as happy about it as she is. When I met with her to talk about the possibility of an upgrade/change of job title and responsibilities, she got this grin on her face and she said that she had had this as a goal for herself for the year, but never dreamed that it would be done without having to initiate it herself.

    • big pat on the back for being happy you were able to do something good for a subordinate!

    • Gold star for looking out for your team. That’s awesome news.

    • NOLA – I can only wish I had a manager like you.

      Very nice job

      • Thanks! I wish all of my supervisees felt that way. The ones who have personnel issues tend to be less happy with me… but most of them are pretty happy.

    • This is completely awesome. Way to go, NOLA!

  13. MaggieLizer :

    Love the gorgeous weather. HATE allergies. Ugh.

    • No kidding. I was happy to go to work this morning so I could breathe filtered air – my apartment building hasn’t turned on the AC yet and it’s too warm to keep the windows closed.

      Anyone have any experience with OTC nose sprays for allergies? I am just wondering if it would cut down on some of the sneezing and irritation.

      • I have an Rx nasal spray that I use religiously for my horrendous allergies. I also supplement with Afrin from time to time (careful not to overuse!!!) if I get seriously congested and saline if I am extra dry. I have not found any OTC product to help with sneezing.

        • I’m hoping it might cut down on the tickling/irritation, and of course the blockage. I woke up in the middle of the night completely unable to breathe through my nose.

    • Word. My body is totally in revolt. Finally had to succumb to steroids to be normal-ish =(.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      Yup. This year, instead of my usual nasal issues, I’ve had full body itching and hives and bright red eyes. So fun.

    • Couldn’t sleep at all last night. Started off taking 2 benadryl after dinner, then 2 tylenol pm at bedtime. By the end, I’d also taken 2 chlorotabs over the course in the evening. And this morning I took a claritin. Miserable. The pollen count is 11.8/12.

      • I feel you, Bunkster! Pollen count where I live is 11.7 and where I work it’s 11.8. Yuck.

      • I hear you. My personal cocktail is Allegra in the morning, Benadryl at night, mucinex twice daily; Zaditor & Theratears as needed (got the recommendation off of the recent post Kat had on eye drops!)
        My throat is still itchy & my nose is still runny. Can’t wait for summer :(

  14. MissJackson :

    I just checked Corporette and though “omg, Kat hasn’t updated yet since Monday! And how are there only 19 comments on yesterday’s post?” And then I realized that today is Monday.

    Now I feel bad for myself because I can’t even tell when the prior day was a weekend.

    • AnonInfinity :

      When my alarm went off this morning, I was confused for a good 5 minutes as to why my alarm was set for 5:15 on a Saturday morning.

      • My alarms apparently thought it was still the weekend, and didn’t go off. Or, I managed to turn them off without remembering or waking up. And then was late to work. Sigh.

  15. TJ – Hi, I just completed an eight month long project at my job (most of our work is of much shorter duration or goes on indefinitely, but this has a set start and end) and my supervisor scheduled a meeting to discuss doing it next year (it would start late summer). DH and I are hoping to move cities in in the fall if we can get jobs. What should I say about doing this project again? I’m inclined to say that I want to and then deal if and when I find a job but I feel badly committing to something I may not be able to follow through on.

  16. Happy Anon :

    Just a vent since I can’t say any of this out loud!! Final round interview at dream job is this afternoon…. I’m so nervous! But also just kind of want this (months long) process to be over so I can know if I get to live the dream or have to recommit to corporate life. Ahhhh. Also, it’s my birthday this week. Terrified I’ll get bad news and will get denied the job on my bday.

  17. I have been on a shopping spree for new clothes that I can wear to work and play. I love the color of this blouse but I can’t tell if it looks dated or not. Also, how verstile is it really? Would it still look professional in the office?


    • Equity's Darling :

      I personally think the blouse looks a little dated, but I could see others thinking the opposite. It may fall on the line?

      Regardless, I don’t think this would really fly in my office, and I’d also probably not get a ton of wear out of it on the weekends (though definitely more than the office).

      • viclawstudent :

        I don’t know if I’d call it “dated” in the sense that it’s currently dated, but I do think that’s the type of floral that will quickly look dated down the road, if that makes sense. It’s very of a moment.

        Depending on where you work, I would say that the picture makes it look like the fabric is too casual for a business environment.

        • Anonymous NYer :

          Yeah I don’t think this is worth it. You’ll get maybe the rest of this year to wear it because it’s so on-trend, and then it will collect dust in the closet because next season’s thing won’t be bold florals.

    • It looks overly trendy to me, which is also why it looks dated (I think my sister wore this blouse in the 90s…). Anyway, I think it would be fine in the office with a brightly-colored pencil skirt. But floral print probably isn’t going to stay on trend for that long, so if you want something you can wear for more than one season, I’d pass.

    • I actually love the large floral and bright skinny pants look. I have a shirt in a silk cotton fabric that’s very similar to this. I do wear it to the office (tucked in, with dress pants and a gold skinny belt). I also agree that it’s probably a bit on the faddish side, though, so it probably won’t be a shirt I keep around for years.

    • The shirt is trendy and will probably be out by next season but it is cute for now. FWIW, use code TWENTY for 20% Piperlime for the next 2 days.

  18. Went to the Boden warehouse sale this weekend. Got 3 cute dresses and two wool jackets. Spent sunday doing some reorganizing of my closet. Realized I have enough clothes for 3 people.

    Nonetheless, I am contemplating a pair of chunky olive sandals on Zappos.

    Oh, and Philadelphia people – you have THE BEST RESTAURANTS! I went to Garces Trading Company this weekend, it was so good. Bought a bottle of the most delicious olive oil I have ever tasted, and also a tiny, pricey-but-worth-it jar of fig-cherry marmalade. We had brunch/lunch at Kanella on saturday after the sale – I love the bliss that comes over peoples’ faces as they eat halloumi for the first time!

    • phillygirlruns :

      yes, yes we do. one of my favorite brunch (and really anything) spots is varga bar, right across the street from kanella…try it next time you’re back!

    • Legally Brunette :

      Your email makes me so nostalgic for Philly. Love Garces Trading and Kanella. Yum yum.

    • TurtleWexler :

      Ahh, GTC, how I miss thee. And Hawthornes Cafe, and Amis, and Zahav, and Village Whiskey, and Osteria, and Monk’s, and… Restaurants in my new city are nothing to complain about, but I very much miss my old stomping grounds. Glad you enjoyed being there!

    • How did you find out about the Boden warehouse sale?!

      I love Garces. Their infused balsamic vinegars are amazing.

      • A friend of mine got the email about the Boden warehouse sale. I didn’t this time, but have got them in the past. Not really sure how you get them, but they might say on the website.

    • PollyD, I’m a day late, but I’m just responding so that I can gloat: my boyfriend is the retail manager at the Trading Company, and the cherry-fig marmalade is his recipe. I’m really glad you liked it so much! (And he will be, too.)

  19. Turks and Caicos :

    A quick thank you to the ladies who posted suggestions a few months ago for a trip to Provo – we just got back from a week and had a wonderful time! Still a little in disbelief that my feet are in heels and not flipflops today…

    • Ha, for a few minutes I was terribly confused… I am currently in Provo, Utah, and can’t imagine why anyone would vacation here. The Turks and Caicos makes WAY more sense! Glad you had fun!

      • I am in SLC too, and I agree that it is not an ideal vacation spot, but the canyons are really pretty right now.

      • Muddy Buddy :

        I lived in Provo for a time and was similarly confused. Also I was wondering what anyone would have suggested besides hiking? The Argentine chicken restaurant next to the laundromat (I recommend the “Crazy Chicken”)? The university campus? I was ok living there, but not sure what there would be to do on vacation.

        • Seattleite :

          I remember that the Purple Turtle had pretty good shakes. But that was 20 years ago, and I may not be remembering the name right…

          And, OP, did you have lunch with Kanye East?

  20. Ladies, I am wearing the target cross front dress today because it is finally sunny and beautiful again with no risk of rain…and in my office I am FREEZING!! I’m wearing my office sweater and just pulled out my workout sweatshirt to tuck over my legs. WTH(eck)!?!?

    (Also, I need to wash my workout sweatshirt. I realized when I pulled it out that I’ve run in it twice in the rain and forgot to toss it in the laundry over the weekend. Oops!)

    • Does a man who wears a suit jacket every day happen to control your air conditioning? I feel for you.

      • Thanks :-)

        No, I think (warning: 1st world problem-ish) it’s because all the support staff who do control the a/c sit in the middle of the office and I have a window and the building just isn’t all that well insulated. The support staff would up the thermostat if I asked, but then their section of the office becomes quite warm. It’s easier for me to just cover up a little and have a cup of hot tea while I wait for the sun to hit my windows (about 2.5 hours).

  21. Scared of the sun :

    I know this has been discussed before, but now that the weather is nice (90 today!), I wanted to bring it up again. What do you ladies use for sun protection? Like for regular daily use and then for times when you’ll be spending a lot of time outdoors? Any moisturizer with SPF seems to not be a great moisturizer or sun protector and any real sunscreen I use seems to leave that white residue on my face or make my eyes burn. FWIW, I use Clarins multi-active day and night creams, but I haven’t found anything great for sun protection, so I just try a new brand every time. I’d really appreciate recommendations on both face and body protection! TIA!

    • Always a NYer :

      I just started using an SPF 30 moisturizer by Aveeno and love it! It’s got UVA/UVB protection and doesn’t leave any residue on my skin, not to mention it melts in quickly. That’s all I use because I’m very fair and don’t spend extended periods of time outdoors. I have heard that La Roche Posay is the Holy Grail product among sunscreens though.

    • FWIW I have straight up Irish coloring despite my mixed-with-Italian-sun heritage. I spent 28 years getting the bejeebus burned out of me every summer, have already had “trouble spots” burned off and both my mother and grandmother have had skin cancer scares.



      is brilliant. I do. not. burn. with this. It actually makes me a little sad because I don’t get much of a tan either, but it’s 100% worth it!

      This is my “lots of time outdoors” sunscreen. Although I apparently need to buy it at target! I’ve only seen it at one grocery store so I buy it every time it’s on sale, but it’s actually cheaper at target!

      I haven’t found a daily that I like yet. Right now I have an aveeno 30 but I really don’t like how oily it is or how it smells. I got a Dr. Jart’s 45 spf tinted moisturizer that I like a lot, but can’t use every day or I break out a bit on my jaw line. (I’m not very good at remembering my nightly regimen, YMMV.) Finally, I have a Garnier 28 spf skin renew moisture lotion, again I really don’t like the smell, but it’s not as oily.

      I’m interested in anything that has at least a 15 but preferably 30 spf for daily use!

    • DC anonymous :

      For daily use, I use oil of olay sensitive skin for spf 15 and cerave am for spf 30, depending on how dry my face is and how sunny it is outside. (The cerave seems to be a more intense moisturizer than the olay.) I use neutrogena ultra sheer dry touch spf 50 (often on top of one of the others) for when I am going to have some serious sun exposure. Of the three, I would probably recommend the neutrogena most strongly in its category — I have really sensitive (yet also sun sensitive) skin, and it’s the only heavy duty sunscreen I’ve found that actually works and doesn’t drive my skin crazy.

      • face time :

        Upon your recommendations, I tried jojoba oil and Neutrogena Ultra-Sheer Dry Touch sunblock this weekend. My skin is acne-scarred, with large pores, and my t-zone often gets greasy or oily. I cleaned my face with the jojoba oil twice a day and then applied the sunblock. No need for foundation! And, counter-intuitively, using oil as a cleanser made my face less oily! It feels smooth and soft, and I think the blackheads on my nose are clearing up already.

        I swear this is some dark magic.

    • La Roche-Posay Anthelios 60. Not greasy, no residue, works under makeup, doesn’t make me break out.

    • Image Daily Defense Ultimate Preventative Moisturizer.

      • My esthetician gave me samples of this and I pink puffy heart it. I am oily, acne-prone, etc. and I love this sunscreen. Excited to buy it full size.

    • I tend to have reactions to sunscreen on occasion and am still upset about the time I spent $18 on a tiny tube of fancy neutrogena sunscreen especially for the face and then had a reaction!

      These days I stick to Olay Sensitive Skin moisturizer with SPF 15 or 30 for my face whether it’s every day or out in the sun and Coppertone Sport 15 or 30 (lotion not spray) for my shoulders/arms when I’m going to be outside for awhile.

      I find sticking to lower SPFs and reapplying often is the way to go for avoiding the burning sensation.

      • That burning sensation is probably an allergic reaction to chemical sunscreens. If you are reacting, avoid any sunscreen where the active ingredient is a benzone. Olay Sensitive Skin moisturizer uses a physical blocker, titanium dioxide. Kiss my face has some higher SPF sunscreens without chemical blockers.

        • Hmm, I get that sometimes too, I just thought my face was too sensitive!

    • 45 but look 32 :

      Shiseido Urban Environment Oil–Free UV Protector SPF 42 PA+++. Every day. Winter or summer. Face. Neck. Decolletage.

      Before I discovered Urban Environment, I used Shiseido White Lucent Brightening Protective Emulsion SPF 15 PA ++. Slightly more fluid, but not as much sun protection.

      On my hands and wrists. Every day. Winter or summer: either Cetaphil UVA/UVB Defense SPF 50 or AHAVA ‘Mineral Suncare’ Sun Protection Anti-Aging Facial Moisturizer SPF 50.

    • Jane Iredale’s Dream Tint (Spf 15)

    • Another Sarah :

      I do the physical sunblocks, and CVS has one that’s 45SPF and once you rub it in, it’s clear. I use a light moisturizer and then sunblock on top, and I haven’t really had any problems with super-oily-ness. I’m white enough to go toe-to-toe with Casper the Friendly Ghost on a pale-off, and I’ve had some problem spots already taken off. So for me, the heavy-duty zinc/titanium oxide stuff works.

    • Skin Rules :

      I just got this out of the library over the weekend and am already fully enthralled/taking copious notes. I’d recommend it for sun protection advice! http://www.amazon.com/Skin-Rules-Trade-Secrets-Dermatologist/dp/1250000955/ref=sr_1_7?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1334599673&sr=1-7

    • Shiseido Ultimate Sun Protection Lotion SPF 60

      I also used Paula’s choice moisturizer with SPF 25, (I think it’s a zinc sunscreen?) but I’ve been outside more often lately and SPF25 just won’t cut it.

    • punk rock tax lawyer :

      I’m super pale, have a history of skin cancer, and extremely acne prone, so it’s been a struggle for me to find something that works. For daily use on face, I dig Bare Escentuals SPF 25 mineral veil. If I’m going to be outside, I use Alba Botanica very emollient sunscreen. If I’m going to be outside for a really long time, swimming or getting really sweaty or anything like that, I like Neutrogena Spectrum+.

      • Casper Clone :

        Similarly – what do other pale gals use for giving your legs some fake color? I broke out the sundresses this weekend, and need a solution stat. Everything I tried last summer was more orange than ideal …

  22. To Bunkster :

    Bunkster – have been dying to hear what you decided about your two job offers. Have you figured out what to do yet? When are you giving notice?


    • I posted yesterday in the weekend thread. I think I’m going to take the job at the cooler company, which happens to have the shorter commute. I can take public transportation. It’s in Cambridge. They upped their salary offer to match the other company.

      Public transportation is going to come in handy because I was in an accident over the weekend. I’m okay, except for an injured knee. But I expect they’ll say my car is a total loss because it’s 11 years old. I’ll be driving my dad’s 17-year-old station wagon and looking for a new car.

      I won’t post further about the accident, except to say that it was terrifying. I haven’t gotten back in touch with the other companies because I’ve been dealing with the aftermath.

      • Oh jeez Bunkster, I hope you feel better soon! I was in one accident like that, just absolutely “OMG we’re all going to die” terrifying. Best wishes for you and your car. It may be better if they do total the car, I fought to keep one of my cars from being totaled out and managed to save it by like $50 and the thing fell apart piece by expensive piece over the next year. I should have let them total it and looked for a reasonable used vehicle, but I was thinking how much I loved that car, not what was financially the best.

        Good luck with everything and congrats again on the new job!

      • Congrats on the job and hope everything turns out ok with the accident! I have friends that work at that company (I’m guessing it’s the one near Kendall that has a much more famous office elsewhere?) and they really seem to enjoy it.

  23. So, I know some people don’t like it when this website becomes middle school girl-ville. But I might have to revise my list. If you’re having a bad day, do yourself a favor and look up the mens wheelchair winner of the Boston Marathon — that man is hot with a capital H. And right at the end of the race he changed shirts, I thought I was going to pass out right here on my couch.

    • Cant find a good picture! Post one!

      • Can’t find a good one from today, but check him out on his webpage).


        How very patriotic of him. :-P

        • Thank you for posting this, I could not find a good picture either!

          • He and Hot Shirtless Wade should start a club of “People Who Should Never Wear A Shirt Ever”.

          • Anonymous :

            Yes PLEASE! this is a club that must happen, TCFKAG, you are a genius.

            Any other White Collar fans who appreciate the increase in completely gratuitous shirtless Matt Bomer scenes?

            And, another submission for the club: Niall Matter from Eureka, im sorry, but this scene makes my heart stop beating every. time.

          • oops, that last comment is me

        • Holy ISHT, is he good looking! Wooo.

    • Ha! I also wanted to post about my list. I watched last week’s Glee, and I have decided that a. Darren Criss and Matt Bomer are not the same person and b. Matt Bomer has moved to #1 on my list. In fact, there’s this great big gap between him and #2 (Natalie Portman).

      • I know. Seeing them next to each other did real damage to Darren’s place on my list I think. And now I know Matt can sing. So Matt’s firmly on and me thinks Darren is off. Unless he regrows the curls from when he did Harry Potter the Musical, then we’d have to talk.

        • You have reminded me that I have not seen Harry Potter the musical. Must remedy this immediately.

    • Thank you, thank you, thank you for even realizing that the wheelchair race exists! (I am a wheelchair racer). My training buddies Brad and Christina came in 15th (Brad) and 4th (Christina)!

      • PharmaGirl :

        How awesome! There was a wheelchair racer in my town when I was a kid and I loved seeing him fly down the main street.

      • Hey — here in Boston at least they cover the Men’s race live on tv (they don’t cover the women’s race as closely, but the finish this year was bad *ss). Wheelchair racing is amazing, it’s like a mix of running with biking — with the strategy associated with the drafting and everything. I enjoy watching it. :-) I’m immensely impressed by anyone does it.

  24. Hairstyling fail! I could not have drawn more attention to my gray hairs unless I deliberately set out to do so. Sigh.

    • Don’t worry. I’m sure it makes you look distinguished. :-)

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      Sharpie to the rescue? I once witnessed a dark haired coworker “fixing” her visible grays with a sharpie in the ladies room. Cracked me up.

    • My highlights generally cover up any gray hairs but they’re getting more noticeable. When I put a hair band in to pull back my bangs to go to the gym, I see every gray hair underneath. Fun stuff!

  25. hellskitchen :

    I second this. I use a similar one from Duane Reade. In-house brand, SPF 50 with zinc oxide. I used to be a devotee of Neutrogena’s Dry Touch line but I prefer using physical sunblockers to chemical ones (read a story about how chemical sunblockers can harm your skin in the long run) so switched to DR. It is thick white and you have to wait at least 3-4 minutes after applying for it to fully absorb but then you are good to go.

    • This is something that has been alluded to before – physical sun blocks. Does anyone have recommendations or info on why you’d choose one over the other? How can I tell what is a physical sun block? I’m eyeing Josie Maran and Bare Escentuals.

      • There are chemical and physical sunscreens. From the American Melanoma Foundation: “Chemical sunscreens contain special ingredients that act as filters and reduce ultraviolet radiation penetration to the skin. These sunscreens often are colorless and maintain a thin visible film on the skin. These sunscreens usually contain UVB absorbing chemicals and more recently contain UVA absorbers as well. Physical Sunscreens, most often referred to as sunblocks, are products containing ingredients such a titanium dioxide and zinc oxide which physically block ultraviolet radiation (UVR). Sunblocks provide broad protection against both UVB and UVA light.” Physical blockers are the ones that leave a whiteish residue, or at least they did in years past, and they’re not as water resistant. The formulas have gotten much sheerer and durable though. Many people are allergic or sensitive to the chemicals in chemical sunscreens. They give me a chemical burn so I have to stick to the physical sunscreens. The active ingredient in chemical sunblocks is usually avobenzone.

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