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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 180 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Colorblock Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Jil Sander Colorblock Dress Sigh:  Love this colorblock dress from Jil Sander's fall collection. The simple placket and neckline, the use of black and navy, the sophisticated take on colorblocking — love, love, love. It's $1645 at Bergdorf Goodman. Colorblock Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line. (L-2)

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Comments

  1. N

    I do like it, except for the colour-blocking across the bust, which, to me, looks like a boob-tube. The colour-blocking is just trying a tad too hard with that one, for me.

  2. SS

    Love the dress!
    Threadjack: I’m a student who just returned to work for the first time since las summer. To my horror, most of my work clothes are too tight: blazers won’t button, skirts are uncomfortably tight, dresses won’t zip. I figure I’ve only put on 5-10 lbs, and I’m working to get it off (Gym 4 times/wk and healthy eating) but the process is slow. Any tips for wardrobing during this tough time? I don’t want to have to buy a whole new wardrobe since I plan on going back to normal size… I hope!
    TIA

    • EC

      I would take the clothes to a tailor and explain that you hope to come back and have the clothes taken back in, but you need them let out for the moment. You can probably get a week’s worth of professional clothes tailored for $150 or less.

    • Cat

      Since it’s summer, you could get a few A-line skirts that would work now but also not look too big when you drop the extra weight.

      In general, though, if you buy a few basics for the bottom, I think you can get by fairly well – people won’t remember you wearing the same black pants as much as they would the same blouse/sweater.

      Don’t worry about not buttoning a blazer – I can’t remember the last time I actually buttoned my suit jackets, other than walking to a client on a windy day and the jacket was flapping annoyingly.

      • Anon

        I disagree. While you may not have to button a blazer, if you *can’t* button a blazer, it is too small and likely looks as such.

        I would try a discount store like Marshalls or TJ Maxx for 1-2 inexpensive jackets that can be worn with a bunch of different bottoms and 1-2 a-line skirts (as someone else suggested). A couple of things should get you through the next 3-4 weeks until you can lose enough weight to fit back into those clothes. I think drinking a lot of water and watching sodium/processed foods will help, too – you’ll de-bloat and clothes will fit better.

        • Cat

          I was reading the OP’s description as “can’t button because the button will look strained” (a problem more likely to be caused by 5-10 lbs rather than “the jacket can’t meet in the middle anymore.”)

          If the latter, I agree with you that the OP should not wear them until slimmer.

    • kz

      I had the same realization not too long ago. I ended up just buying a couple of pairs of pants and skirts cheap at New York & Co. (not great quality, but it’ll work for a short while) and Marshall’s/TJ Maxx. Luckily all my tops still fit (thanks, weight, for going directly to my thighs).

    • anon

      I find cute jackets/blazers at Steinmart for good prices, if you have one of those nearby.

      Also, I did Weight Watchers for the first time in January to lose about 8-9 pounds, and it was fantastic. I lost it in about 5-6 weeks, which I though was pretty good. I generally eat healthy and run on a regular basis, without losing any weight, so WW was the extra bit of accountability and structure I needed to get those few pounds off.

      And FWIW, only my mom noticed I’d lost weight (actually she noticed my chest was smaller). So I take that to mean that most people probably don’t notice the difference in 5-10 pounds, whether gained or lost.

  3. found a peanut

    I think this dress would look much much better if it were sleeveless.

    • Daenerys

      I agree completely… something about it seemed slightly off, but without the sleeves this would be a gorgeous sheath. I’m in love with the color blocking, but never in a million years could I imagine spending so much on a dress.

  4. Legally Brunette

    This dress looks so strange to me, almost like something they would have worn on the Star Trek Enterprise. Sorry Kat, not a fan of this one. :)

    • Em

      Yeah, but like something the more style-conscious but still out there Bajorans would have worn, not the hideously attired 24th century humans! (Sorry, huge dork here.)

      • Lynnet

        I love seeing other huge dorks on here. It makes me think it’s possible to be a professional woman and still like science-fiction/YA books/urban fantasy.

        • Scully

          Very possible. Guess who read all the Hunger Games Trilogy this weekend? *raises hand* I always feel like a weirdo checking out the books in the YA section, but some of them are so good.

        • SF Bay Associate

          Scully, I did the same thing about a month ago. My SO thought I was crazy, but I couldn’t put them down. Lynet, do you have any other recs along the Harry Potter/Hunger Games/sci-fi/fantasy-magic lines? I am thinking about trying Game of Thrones again – I attempted it in high school but I lost interest pretty quickly.

          • kz

            Ok that’s pretty much all I read, so I’ve got oodles and oodles of suggestions, but I’ll start with my favorites, and if those don’t appeal to you’ll, I’ll come up with more:

            First, Game of Thrones is good, but it’s super long and can take some time to get into.
            Other suggestions: anything by Brandon Sanderson (except his latest, which are finishing up the Wheel of Time, which was started by another author who died. I recommend them, but you’ve really got to read the rest of the series first), the Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley, Charlaine Harri’s Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries (actually all of her stuff is pretty entertaining), and the following, which are all young adult, but excellent: Crown Duel by Sherwood Smith, the Young Wizards series by Diane Duane (pre-Harry Potter, and very different), and most of Tamora Pierce’s series (her main characters are pretty much always females. I like her Tortall series the best)

          • SF Bay Associate

            Ugh, I am an original Wheel of Time reader – first nine books in hardback. I really liked them at the beginning, but I eventually gave up because I realized that there was no way all of those plot lines were ever going to come back together in a satisfying way. And then Jordan died and I understand they are trying to wrap it up quickly. I should re-read Mists of Avalon. I loved Tamora Pierce as a kid… Alanna, right?… would be fun to revisit that. Thanks!

          • Kady

            Love Game of Thrones, but I keep hearing that there is no way that Martin is actually going to finish the series, which pisses me off, given how much time I’ve already dedicated to it.

          • Diana Barry

            I really like the Robin McKinley “The Blue Sword” and “The Hero and the Crown” – they are fantasy with strong female heroines. Also YA but I reread them every once in a while. :)

          • AIMS

            @ SF Bay Associate
            I really enjoyed the Tears of Artamon trilogy by Sarah Ash.
            Starts with Lord of Snow and Shadows; Prisoner of the Iron Tower; then Children of the Serpent Gate.
            It’s a neat little world and totally engrossing from page one.

            Even more so, I loved, loved loved, the Abhorsen trilogy by Garth Nix. First book is Sabriel; then Lirael; then Abhorsen. Apparently, there was a fourth book that recently came out (actually seeing that for the first time now, when I googled the author just now to get the names right and I am super excited!). I haven’t read his other stuff, but these books were fantastic. There’s a plucky young heroine and a talking cat, too. The pages turn themselves.

            PS: I am not really that into sci fi or the related genres, but I seriously loved these books and think just about anyone would enjoy them. Highly recommend to all!

          • SF Bay Associate

            Since everyone is kindly recommending embarrassing books, I will contribute by endorsing the Belgariad/Malloreon series and the Elenium/Tamuli series by David Eddings, and the Empire trilogy by Feist and Wurts, related to the Riftwar saga. *shamefaced*

          • TCFKAG

            Second the David Eddings books.

            I’d also recommend Mercedes Lackey, especially the Valdemar books. They’re great and there are about a billion of them.

            Also good are the Jhereg books.

            SF BAy Associate — I’ll one up you, I’ve read all 14 (right?) Wheel of Time in hardback. I feel like I can’t stop…even those 10-13 basically blew hardcore. :-P

          • Em

            Glad to see so many other SF/F fans on here! Hunger Games is fantastic – I couldn’t put any of the three books down until I was finished, and am eagerly awaiting the movie.

          • JJ

            @SF Bay Associate: I was the same way on Wheel of Time and gave up around book 10 way back in the day. I’m currently re-reading the series (because I love Brandon Sanderson and think he’ll do an excellent job attempting to wrap up the 10,000,000,000,000,000 loose ends). It’s a great re-read and on Kindle, I don’t have to deal with the books that were so large that I couldn’t comfortably hold them and the bindings fell apart and pages fell out, etc.

          • Ru

            Ender’s Game! and the series. And Ender’s Shadow series. The rest of Orson Scott Card’s books are good, too, but those are my favorite. Also, I love Anne Bishop’s Black Jewels series, although her Tir Alainn and Sebastian/Belladonna are really, really good, too.

          • Lurker

            Long-time lurker here, but I had to come out of hiding to recommend Diana Wynne Jones – love, love, love her books, and from the others I’m seeing recommended here she fits nicely in the list.

          • MelD

            Add me as a fan of Orson Scott Card’s books.

            I just read Hunger Games a few months ago and was disappointed that seemed to be more or less a direct (Americanized) ripoff of Battle Royale. I thought BR was brilliant, but am less than enthused by the remakes.

            A lot of people like the Phillip Pullman His Dark Materials series, but I found it to be rather hard to get into.

          • kz

            Sanderson is doing a good job wrapping up Wheel of Time. I actually like his writing better than Jordan’s. And it should be finished next year. I think Martin will eventually finish Game of Thrones, it just may take a while. I wouldn’t start until he’s done, though–you’ll just get annoyed.

            And everyone else’s suggestions have reminded me of all the great series I missed. I would second the recommendations for Garth Nix’s Abhorsen books, Robin McKinley’s Blue Sword book (actually all of her’s are good), and Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials Trilogy (which actually in my opinion has too heavy of themes for children and makes a better adult trilogy)

          • Seattleite

            Also, the “Kingkiller Chronicles” by Patrick Rothkiss. He’s written only two of the books in the series so far, so some might prefer to wait until the series is done to start. I haven’t the self-discipline, and I pay for it in waiting for the next book.

            And “The Farseer Trilogy” by Robin Hobb. First book is called “Assassin’s Apprentice.” Hands down my favorite fantasy series ever.

            I heard Orson Scott Card speak a few years ago, and he named Robin Hobb and George R.R. Martin as the two best emerging fantasy writers.

          • Emmey

            Lurker here too – I’ve got to second the recommendation for Sherwood Smith’s Crown Duel series, and Robin McKinley’s books, and the dearly beloved Diana Wynne Jones (RIP), and Harry Potter, and…

          • ADB_BWG

            More grown up – but try S.M. Stirling’s two “parallel” series. Island in the Sea of Time is the first book (of three) in one set. Dies the Fire is the first book (of 8? 9?) in another set. I won’t ruin the key plot elements, but I find myself going back to these again and again. Very well-crafted characters and alternative “worlds.”

            I found his other books to be hit-or-miss, but these are winners!

          • Juno

            love this thread! i have to give my vote to the Belgariad, as well as Steven Brust’s Jhereg series. Also, though not youth fiction- i simply adore the Dresden Files.

        • Bunkster

          I was inspired by the book, The Reading Promise, to download a bunch of my favorite books as a child to my Kindle so I could read them to my nieces. And then I spent all yesterday re-reading one of them. It was just as good as I remembered.

        • cbackson

          Oh man, there is probably not a bigger SF nerd out there than me. I’m not much of a fantasy reader, but I could geek out all day over Neal Stephenson, Alastair Reynolds, Ian Banks, etc.

        • 2L NYC

          I had my first day at work today, so didn’t check during the day — but so glad to see this! I second votes for (1) Tamora Pierce; (2) Garth Nix’s Abhorsen Series; (3) Diana Wynne Jones — esp. Chrestomanci Chronicles Vol. 1 and Howl’s Moving Castle; (4) Robin McKinley — my favorite is The Hero and the Crown. Of course, in addition to Harry Potter!

          • 2L NYC

            @ Janie — yes, I think so! Maybe I’ll change it to something more permanent like Alanna of Trebond…

          • 2L NYC

            Also, I think I remember liking Mercedes Lackey books a few years back — with the main character Skandranon?

        • Lynnet

          I second the recommendations for Robin McKinley (my favorite, not mentioned yet, is Sunshine), Tamora Pierce, Pat Rothfuss, and the Jhereg books by Steven Brust, Ender’s Game.

          Not Mentioned:
          I can’t recommend highly enough The Princess Academy by Shannon Hale, it’s so much better than the name makes it sound. I think it should be given to every middle school girl, I know I wish I’d read it while I was in middle school.

          Also, Patricia C. Wrede (Sorcery and Cecelia, YA fantasy romance), Sharon Shinn (fantasy romance), Matched by Alli Condle(dystopia romance), Lois McMaster Bujold (start with The Curse of Chalion, fantasy, or Cordelia’s Honor, science fiction), Guy Gavriel Kay (literary fantasy), Old Man’s War by John Scalzi (sci-fi), Naomi Novik (the Napoleonic Wars, with dragons), Jim Butcher (urban fantasy)

          Full disclosure- I haven’t read The Hunger Games yet. I keep putting them on hold at the library and they keep coming in right before finals, moving, a due date, etc.

      • Atlantia

        I am in the midst of a TNG season 6 marathon. It feels so good to admit that without shame.

        Oh, and I have a t-shirt that says “Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.”

  5. Ellen

    These peep-toe shoes would NEVER be acceptable at my firm, even though I got to wear shoes like this in the Bahamas with the manageing partner. I do love the dress, though. We were TOLD in our firm’s causal dress code not to expose our feet at work (this goes for MEN also), and this even includes SANDALS in the Summer, so I would be sent home or to buy another pair. I LOVE peep toe shoes, so that means I say FOOEY on our dress code.

      • Monday

        Ellen isn’t even “really Ellen,” so I feel like identifying a fake is kind of a lost cause. But we’ll see if she tries to show some kind of credential to prove she’s the original! I’d be CUREIOUS.

    • meme

      I think this Ellen lacks the original Ellen’s creativity. The most recent posts are all about the manageing partner and the word Fooey. And they don’t contain nearly enough misspellings, made-up words or grammatical errors. I agree that this looks like a fake Ellen troll!

        • Cfm

          I’m not talking about a troll of a troll. I’m talking about a troll of a troll of a troll. Three levels.

          That many trolls within a troll is to unstable! When you have a troll within a troll the effect is compounded. It’s going to get worse as we go deeper.

  6. Lawgirl

    I don’t really “get” this dress, and why it’s a fashion statement…I remember color-blocking from the 90’s, and I confess, I like that period (yellow & green & orange!). This color blocking seems oddly placed, especially over the neck. Maybe I need to study up more on fashion trends….

    • Bonnie

      The colorblocking here seems like an afterthought; they realized the dress was too short and were out of the gray material so went for orange.

  9. Cleaning service in Philly

    Early threadjack. Can anyone recommend a reliable cleaning service in Philadelphia? We live in Center City. The one we are using is very good but really expensive – about $150 for a 2 bedroom.

  10. K

    Sale alert! JCrew has 20% off and free shipping on online orders of womens and kids swimwear through Wednesday.

    • Hippy

      How does J Crew’s sizing run? I am looking to buy the super 120’s suit in navy, and I am nowhere near a JCrew Store. FWIW, I am an hourglass/pear, and I wear a 10 in AT’s suits and a 10/12 in BR.

      • Diana Barry

        I wear the same size in J crew as in BR, except that in pants I wear one size down. So you should be a 10 – but if in doubt, order 2 sizes with the free shipping. :)

      • SF Bay Associate

        The blog J.Crew Aficionada always has great discussions of J.Crew sizing, down to the exact item number. Also, if you know your measurements, you should call/chat with J.Crew – they have the exact measurements for every size of every item, which may be very different from the official size chart.

      • ADL

        I’m almost your same size (10P) and would say size up for J Crew. Agree with Diana to order two sizes and send back the one that doesn’t fit. That always makes me happy – and makes your credit card look happy (even though I know I’m just going to send one back).

  11. Minimum salary requirement

    I’m responding to an attorney job listing for an in-house position that says to submit resume and minimum salary requirement. It’s in a large southeast city. I know the salary ranges for top firms in the city (mostly regional firms) but imagine a wide range in salaries for in house. FWIW the company is headquarted in the large southeast city but has a few other offices in major worldwide cities. I would be a lateral from a top regional firm in the city. I could afford lower than current salary and accept that if job is great but of course don’t want to sell myself short. Also, don’t want to be passed over if I list a false minimum that is too high. I’ve read a few online recommendations to say “negotiable” but this seems odd since they specifically asked. Any thoughts?

    • Divaliscious11

      Depends on how senior you are…. if you fairy junior say 3 years, the cuts may be a relatively small percentage, but when I kept track of this the general difference in base slaray was tracking roughly 35%. That said, you also have to remember that bonus in-house will likely be higher that at the firm so in terms of total comp, it may roughly even out. When I went in house as a 6th year, my base was about 35% lower than my peers in big law, but my bonus eligibility was 40%, so total comp, I was only about 10% lower than my biglaw peers.

      HTH

      • Minimum salary requirement

        Thanks – I think I’ll likely say my base salary scale that is to take effect in August with the caveat of negotiable and dependent upon full benefits package and learning more about position.

  12. Chris

    How would one go about following up on a job application? I was planning to call the company’s HR person. I thought I would say something along the lines of “Hi, my name is X. I recently applied for job X, and am calling to check on the status of my job application.”

    Is this appropriate, or pushy? I only applied a week ago.

    Alternatively, I heard about the job opening from an alumni post on a list serve. I contacted the alum, and she said to apply via the website and if i had any questions other, contact her colleague, whose email address she included. (I think the subtext was, not contact her). I’m not sure what the colleague’s position is, but is it worth contacting the colleague instead of calling the office? I’d probably send a similar and very short email.

    “Hello i’m X. I applied for Y position last week — attached are my materials. I think that I would be an asset to Y organization, and I wanted to follow up on the status of my application. Please let me know if there’s anything else you need. Best, X. ”

    Thoughts? Advice? Do one, the other, or something completely different?

    I really really want this job, as it seems a perfect fit for me, so i don’t want to do anything wrong — but don’t want it to slip away, either.

    • found a peanut

      One week is a very short time (I know it seems like forever to you but in reality they might not have even begun looking at resumes). I would wait another week at least before contacting HR.

      However, I don’t see the harm in sending an email to the colleague just to let him/her know that you’ve applied for the position. Something along the lines of, “X gave me your name as someone to contact about the position. I want to let you know that I sent in my materials and I look forward to hearing back from your firm/company. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do.” And then leave it at that.

      • Chris

        Thanks for the advice–

        I did end up sending a very simple email to the contact, who let me know that they don’t need anything else but will let me know if they do.

        I suppose all I have to do now is wait. I’m so nervous.

    • Divaliscious11

      I’d send a copy of my credentials directly to the contact and state, that you’ve submitted your credentials via the website, and are forwarding a copy of said credentials to you, as I was recommended to contact you directly if I had questions by Alum. Then make sure you have a substantive question.

      In this economy, unless you have rockstar credentials, getting picked out of an e-application is really really slim. If she/he likes your docs, they’ll call HR to retrieve you from the HR pile.

  13. Help me!

    Threadjack –

    Ladies, I desperately need your advice. One of my guy friends (Let’s call him Bob and his fiance, Sally) has been talking to me about a month now non stop about how he’s not sure he is in love with Sally and not sure if he wants to proceed with the wedding. Bob also told me his ex girlfriend contacted him on FB, and he told me he still had feelings for the ex, and that the ex wanted to get back with him. It is no exaggeration to say that Bob has been obsessing over the ex, b/c that’s ALL he talks to me about.

    This morning he told me he had cheated on Sally with the ex. He said he felt awful. I told him he HAD to tell Sally. He said he did not want to tell Sally b/c he wasn’t sure if he was ready to end things with her. He asked me if I would keep his secret, and I said at this point yes I would b/c I hoped that he would tell Sally on his own (I basically alluded that I would tell her if he didn’t). Then, once he realized that I wasn’t promising to keep his secret, he said, oh just kidding, it was a joke and a test to see if you could keep a secret.

    At this point, what do I do?? I feel so awful for Sally. She and I aren’t close friends but I’m starting to feel really guilty for knowing all of this information. Should I tell Sally? Should I stay out of it entirely? I’ve lost so much respect for Bob. I don’t know what to do. :(

    • Anon

      Stay out of it. Don’t tell Sally, but encourage Bob to decide *right not* whether he wants to be with Sally. If he wants to be with Sally, he needs to never speak with this other woman again. If he can’t commit to never speaking to this other woman again, he needs to end it with Sally. Tell him that. There is no reason for him to marry Sally unless he’s positive its what he wants.

    • Veronica

      Do the right thing and tell Sally, but be prepared to lose Bob as a friend, and for Sally to blame the messenger and hate you as well. It’s still the right thing to do.

      • Help me!

        It’s so troublesome. I don’t know what the “right thing” is. On one hand I do feel like I should stay out of it, but on the other hand I think it’s soooo wrong that Bob isn’t telling Sally. I feel so guilty. I almost don’t even care about losing Bob as a friend b/c I think his behavior is terrible and I’ve lost some respect for him. But then I don’t want people to look at me as the one who broke up their engagement. Ugh.

        • Veronica

          The right thing is probably whatever you would want you to do if you were in Sally’s position. I know almost everyone is going to tell you to stay out of it, and they’re absolutely right that doing so would be much easier on you and spare you from blowback you absolutely do not deserve…but still. If you don’t tell, it’s going to be damn hard to look Sally and Bob in the eyes at their wedding anyway, and chances are your relationship with them will fizzle regardless. It might be possible to compromise with an anonymous note – but really, this: “He said he did not want to tell Sally b/c he wasn’t sure if he was ready to end things with her…” is just such a phenomenally douchey thing for him to have said. Sally might well be making a huge, huge, expensive and painful mistake. My gut says someone should tell her. Sorry you’re in this position.

          • Cfm

            I would not tell her, but also break off the friendship with Bob. I would say Bob, I can’t be your friend if you do not do the right thing here. I respect who I thought you were too much to watch you marry someone you don’t love and you have betrayed.

          • Eponine

            Actually the right thing is what Sally would want, not what Help me! would want. And since she isn’t close to Sally and has no idea what she would want, she shouldn’t butt in.

          • eaopm3

            And, I have to add, that as someone who has been in more than one relationship that had infidelity issues, I would not want to know if H had a brief encounter with another woman before marriage. We have a happy, good life together and it would come crashing down if some stranger walked up to me and told me something like that, or even if H felt like he had to come clean and tell me. If it was an ongoing affair, that would be different and I would want to re-evaluate our relationship. But not a single lapse in judgment that could have just as easily happened to me.

    • found a peanut

      My vote is for staying out of it. A relationship is between two people and in this case neither of those people is you. It is ultimately Bob’s decision whether to tell Sally and Sally’s decision about what to do with that information. I would encourage Bob to tell Sally, but it’s not your place to tell her yourself.

    • eaopm3

      I agree with the other posters that say to stay out of it, but my reason may be unpopular:
      I don’t think that anyone, including Bob ought to tell Sally. If Bob thinks that he made a mistake by straying and is committed to fixing it on his own, then leave it be. They may get married, they may break up, who knows.
      One of my very good friends cheated on her fiance with someone that I knew and she never told her now husband. Their marriage is happy and loving and successful. I’m not saying that would work for everyone, but had she told him, she would have only told him in order to attempt to seek forgiveness to make HERSELF feel better, breaking her fiance’s heart in the process. I was in the wedding and I simply told her that I would not stand up with her at her wedding when I knew she was cheating on her future husband. We didn’t speak for about three months, and then she realized what an awful mistake she made and moved on, more committed to her husband and their marriage than ever.
      Like I said, I may be in the minority for my reason, but staying out of it is the right thing to do, either way.

      • Anon

        I agree with this. Which is why if Bob has to decide what he wants. If he wants Sally, he should never speak to the other woman again and he should not tell Sally. He should just commit to Sally and have that brief affair be over with.

      • Eponine

        I completely agree – I wouldn’t want to know if my partner had cheated on me in the past but was now faithful. It would only make me jealous and resentful, and would do nothing to help our relationship. And even if he broke up with me for someone else, I don’t think it would be helpful to know he had cheated on me with her.

    • Diana Barry

      Stay out of it. Let Bob know that you find his actions reprehensible and that you won’t tolerate him talking to you about it any more. And then follow through with that, don’t listen to him if he talks about it, delete his emails if they are about it. He is using you as his venting outlet/confidante and it is not fair to you.

    • Eponine

      Don’t tell Sally yourself – it’s none of your business, and you’re not her friend. Tell Bob that he needs to either cut off all contact with the ex, or break up with Sally. He can’t have it both ways. If Bob tries to have it both ways, it sounds like he’s not a quality human being and maybe you don’t want to be his friend anymore either.

      If Bob chooses to stay with Sally, whether or not he should tell her is his decision based on their relationship. It’s not your decision to make.

      • Hollis

        Totally agree with this advice. Make him do his own dirty work. But seriously, please evaluate whether Bob is really the kind of friend you want for yourself. Not that anyone’s perfect, but this guy’s really just in love with himself and out for number 1.

      • Third Choice

        Tell Bob he has a third choice:

        1. break off with the ex
        2. break off with sally
        3. stop talking to Help Me!

    • CN

      Years ago I caught my friend’s husband asking another woman for her phone number in a bar. I chose to stay out of it. It took five years, but the couple eventually divorced over other similar instances that the wife found out about. Maybe I should have told her and saved her those five years, or maybe it was just something that they needed to work out on their own. I’ve never been sure…

    • Help me!

      All,

      Thank you so much for your advice. After thinking about your advice and consulting with a friend, I have decided to stay out of it. I told Bob I wouldn’t tell anyone but that he had to stop talking to me about this b/c it really bothers me. If I were Sally, I would definitely want to know, but I’m not close friends with Sally and in fact (I should have mentioned this earlier) Bob once told me that Sally thought there was something going on b/t me and Bob (there definitely wasn’t) so I fear that Sally wouldn’t even believe me if I told her the truth.

      Thanks again, i appreciate your time.

    • Praxidike

      Keep your nose out of it. Do NOT tell Sally, whatever you do. I completely disagree that Sally even needs to know about this betrayal unless you have some valid concern about STDs. Telling Sally will do nothing but cause her pain and heartbreak. And this advice goes even if they stay together.

      However, Bob does need to fish or cut bait here. Either he wants to be with Sally or he doesn’t. Stop enabling him by talking to him about the ex, also.

  14. meme

    I think the model looks beautiful in this dress, but that the color blocks would look weird on anyone without those perfectly symmetrial proportions. Hello horizontal stripe just below bum.

    And, even if I could pull this off, I think I’d get lots of sideways glances at the office if I tried to wear it to work. A little too fashion-forward for my office.

  15. Associette

    This dress is pretty amazing.

    Found a Penut – I love that it has sleeves – it means that you can actually wear it to work!

    SS – I think that you should invest in a few pieces that fit your body how it is now. You need to look professional in your new position, and you can always take them in when you loose your extra lbs.

    Help Me! That is a tough call, but if I were Sally I would want to know. I would tell Bob that he has no choice but to share the news with her (by the weekend, for instance)…tell him that if he doesn’t tell her, based on the awful position that he put you in, you will have to share the news with her.

    • AIMS

      I don’t think it’s fair to judge the Bob/Sally situation by whether one of us would want to know. We/you/whoever are not Sally.
      Maybe Sally does secretly know. Or maybe she would not want to know! Either way, the OP is not her close friend and has no way of knowing what Sally wants. I vote to stay out of it. If the OP can’t abide Bob’s confessions anymore, tell Bob that she is not going to indulge him by listening to his drama. But giving an ultimatum is seriously inappropriate. If it were me, whether I would want to know or not, I would not think highly of the person I barely know telling me something like this.

    • Bonnie

      I think it’s quite pretty and like the waist detail. A beige blazer would work well with it but try to keep the cut of the blazer modern to keep from looking dowdy.

    • Lynnet

      I think it’s gorgeous and totally appropriate for a business casual environment.

  17. In-House Mouse

    Hello Ladies,

    Does anyone have experience with returning worn items to Nordstrom? I bought a silk blouse in 2 different colors from Nordstrom (on sale) this winter, only to discover last week that both of them have developed 3-inch tears in the back of the shoulder. This is the first time a shirt has ripped on me, and I’m thinking that it is somehow a fabric or fabrication issue since the tear is in the same spot on both blouses. Do you think Nordstrom would accept a return on these? I have worn each of them between 5-10 times.

    Thanks for your help!

    • Eponine

      They will definitely take them back, even if you don’t have a receipt. Don’t worry about it.

    • Phillyette

      I did the same thing (with sweaters) a couple weeks ago. They will take it back ,and if you have the method of payment (i.e. your credit card you bought it on) or receipt, they’ll give you a full refund. If not, you get lowest selling price.

    • found a peanut

      I’d be very surprised if they didn’t accept the return. Nord’s is notorious for having a great return policy and great customer service in general.

    • EC MD

      In a word, yes. Nordstroms has the best return policy. There is an urban legend that someone returned a set of tires to Nordstroms. Even if there wasn’t an obvious flaw in the construction, they would probably accept it.

      • lawtalkinggirl

        I’ve heard that urban legend too! Supposedly it happened in Fairbanks, Alaska, years ago when there used to be a Nordstrom there.

        • Jules' Law

          I used to work there; it’s not an urban legend, or at least they fully embrace the story. Presumably it happened after Nordstrom bought out a store chain that used to sell tires – a customer came in with a tire they had bought from old store and though as a Nordstrom the store obviously no longer sold tires, they still accepted the return. So it’s not quite as crazy as someone randomly coming in with a tire to the shoe department at Nordstrom and trying to return it; there was a reason. But yes their return policy is serious.

    • AE

      They will take them back and give you a store credit.

      I recently returned some worn items to Nordstrom’s (two pairs of capris and one pair of shorts) and an unworn pair of shorts with the tags on it. I said that there was nothing wrong with the products but I had lost 20 pounds and they didn’t fit anymore. The customer service rep explained that they don’t have a policy against accepting returns, but they “stand by the quality of the products” and that she would have to call a manager. I said, “Yes, please call the manager.” The manager told her to accept the return and give me store credit. She found the purchase from last year by scanning the non-Nordstrom credit card I used to buy them. I got about $160 in store credit, and told the rep that I rarely shop anywhere other than Nordstrom’s because of their top notch customer service (which is true). She complimented me on my weight loss.

      My fiance thinks I should feel guilty about this, but it’s these policies of theirs that make me a loyal customer, and I recall an article that Kat linked to in the weekly news round up a couple of weeks ago said that for retailers loyal customers account for 50% of sales and it can take 15-20 new customers to replace a loyal one.

      • Bonnie

        I think you should feel guilty. There is a difference between Nordstrom’s standing behind their product and you just deciding that you want a different size after wearing an item for quite a long time.

        • Cat

          I agree. I understand that Nordie’s has decided it makes financial sense to allow customers to get away with “returns” like this in order to (1) keep you as a customer and (2) have their generous return policy broadcast. But IMO that doesn’t make it ethical to take advantage of the policy. Donate the larger clothes next time, please!

        • SF Bay Associate

          I agree with Bonnie. Defective products (like those blouses) should of course be refunded, but not if you just changed your mind after wearing the clothes multiple times. There was a thread a while ago about a woman who was using Lands’ End to wardrobe her weight loss – she would buy a bunch of clothes, wear them, then return them when she lost more weight, get new clothes in the next smaller size, and begin the cycle again. Lands’ End has the same policy that Nordstrom does, so Lands’ End took it back, over and over. Regardless of her actions being within the letter of the generous policy, it was nevertheless an abuse of that policy and completely reprehensible. I could not respect a person that did that. Your fiance is an honest man, AE.

        • Cfm

          I used to work at a speciality running shoe store. A few times a customer would come in and say they wanted a refund they didn’t like their shoes anymore, after running in them for…. almost a year! Of course you feel like you need new sneakers! These have hundreds of miles on them! It happened probably five times in my years there. We would usually refund them because we wanted to have a good customer service policy and we were really encouraging with taking returns after a run or two if they weren’t working out. But everyone hated those people, and they would just give you this look like “yup, I’m going for it. You make 12/hour and your boss is going to tell you to just give it to me and I’m completely gaming the system.” ahhhhhh

        • L

          I agree. Although this *is* what makes Nordstrom’s a cut above in terms of customer service, I think it is sneaky and wrong of you to take items back after wearing them for a long time, just bc you lost weight. I would definitely donate the items next time.

      • meme

        I agree with Bonnie. If there is a legitimate problem with the items, even after some wear, that’s one thing. If you lost weight (nothing to do with the quality of the things you purchased), that’s another thing entirely.

        • Jr. Prof

          The question here is the value of one’s integrity. Sure, it’s nice to get something for free, but do you really want to put a price on your integrity? Especially such a low one?

          It’s like the question: would you sleep with a stranger for $1M? If you say “yes,” then the next question is one of rate. Would you do it for $100k, etc.?

          • Former 3L

            I’ve heard that one as a Winston Churchill joke, I believe.

            WC: Madam, would you sleep with me for 1 million pounds>
            Lady next to him at dinner: Well, I…I suppose so.
            WC: Would you sleep with me for ten pounds!
            Lady: Good heavens! What sort of woman do you think I am?
            WC: Madam, we’ve already established what sort of woman you are. Now we are simply haggling over price.

      • Eponine

        You shouldn’t feel guilty at all. You told the truth and they were happy to accept the returns. It’s not like you used subterfuge to get your money back (if you hadn’t told the truth I’d say you should feel guilty).

        It’s a good investment on Nordstrom’s part to keep their customers happy. They lost $160 on this transaction but will probably gain thousands from you as a loyal customer. Customers choose Nordstrom because they know they can take advantage of policies such as the generous return policy. These generous policies are reflected in the high prices Nordstrom charges relative to other retailers, which customers happily pay because they know they can rely on these generous policies should they ever find themselves dissatisfied with the purchase.

        • AE

          Sorry if this is a re-post, but the comment I wrote earlier didn’t show up.

          Thanks, Eponine. I think Nordstrom will come out ahead here for the reasons you mentioned, and I am sure they donate the used clothes that get for a tax deduction, and I will probably use the $160 credit to buy a $350 purse I wouldn’t have bought otherwise.

          • NY

            You ate the whole meal and asked for a refund. Of course you are going to go back, thats a great deal. I don’t think that argument holds water. If your using the 160 credit to buy a 350 purse, you are only paying 190, essentially the same as the 160 you should have paid in the first place. Except now you got the wear of the clothes, and a new purse. I’m sure in the aggregate that Nordstrom always comes out on top, but if I steal from a company that has insurance they will always come out on top to. (Not saying that what you did was stealing, just don’t think the argument that Nords will come out on top is valid). I don’t think it’s morally repugnant or anything, just definitely not on the up and up, and taking advantage of the system.

          • Anonymous

            Nordstrom’s cannot take a tax deduction on the retail price (or even the sales price) of any item they donate to charity – it has to be the value of the good, which is severely diminished after someone has already purchase and worn the item. Not to mention, itemizing and taking the goods to a charity takes up employees’ time and transportation costs. Why not take the charitable deduction yourself and donate the clothes next time? It doesn’t sound like you are creating any goodwill for anyone.

          • Cat

            I find it hard to see the fairness in putting the risk that a person will either gain or lose weight on the store, and not on the shopper.

            I don’t put too much reliance on “well, I told them my [bad] reason and they let me return the stuff anyway” — what do you think the clerk’s real other options were, with you escalating to management? Just because Nordie’s customer service let you get away with this (they probably have a line item in the budget for it) return doesn’t mean you weren’t taking advantage of the policy in, IMO, an underhanded way.

          • Jay

            Tacky, tacky, tacky. Just because you *can* do something doesn’t mean you should.

          • Anon

            Until you decide you’re bored with the purse and return that too? How does Nordstrom ever come out ahead here?

        • Manoa Valley Girl

          Eponine, I’m surprised at your reply. I had you pegged differently. I think this poster is unethical. Yes, she can get away with it and rationalize it, but it is wrong.

          Last month I bought a beautiful pure white wool jacket from Nordstrom. I wore it once to court, with a dove grey blouse and black trousers. Beautiful. While walking back to the office, I held the file in a leather case, and somehow got ink all over my brand new $300+ Nordie’s jacket. My fault. I would never consider returning it, even though Nordstrom would likely take it back.

          It’s just not right.

      • Hollis

        I agree with Bonnie – this practice is not fair to the company or to anyone. If you’ve worn the clothes, then you’ve taken the benefit of them already so you should not be getting back the “full value” of the clothes in credit or otherwise. What exactly do you think the store’s going to do with them now? There’s no way they can sell the same item to anyone else if they’ve been worn. Why not just do the right thing and donate them to someone who can wear the clothes?

      • Accountress

        Don’t feel guilty. They’re the ones that accepted the return, even though you fully disclosed why you were returning them.

        • Anon in the Midwest

          This is like equating morality and legality. Nordstroms will let you do it (i.e. it’s “legal” in the Nordstroms’ world) but that doesn’t mean you should do it.

          • Accountress

            The fabulous thing about morals and the law is that one is written and is the same for everyone that is a member of a jurisdiction, and the other can vary wildly based on any number of environmental factors that have impacted an individual.

      • LawyrChk

        I’m a little appalled by this and think you should feel guilty. Honestly, this is the kind of behavior that makes stores unwilling to keep generous returns policies. No problem returning what still had tags on it, but returning things you’ve already worn? UGH.

        • GovtMom

          Another voice here for feeling guilty for returning the stuff you WORE. The thing that had tags? Fine. But the rest, you should be embarassed. I think it’s appalling.

      • Anon

        “She complimented me on my weight loss.”

        She was probably trying desperately to think of something kind to say to you while you were pulling a b-s stunt like that. I’m sure she had many other things to say about you after you left the store.

        I mean, come on. I’m all for fabulous, extended time frame return policies for defective items. I’m appalled at people who think it is cool to return clothes that no longer fit/because they liked plaid in 2009 but not anymore/etc. just because they can “get away with it”.

        • Cfm

          Like I said above, I’ve been the one having to take back the return in the similar situation, and it was all I could not to scream. I can’t even imagine walking up to the counter, putting worn clothes on them and asking for a return and to speak to the manager. Hey maybe I’m the chump for not being able to play the system to my ability, but I’ll still keep my way any day.

        • AN

          This. I’m appalled people would return used goods. If I knew the opposite of ‘classy’ I’d use it here.

      • stunned

        I am honestly stunned that someone would return worn items because they lost weight. The store policy means they stand behind their products and their service in general. If you bought something that didn’t fit to begin with, or were persuaded to buy something that didn’t fit your lifestyle or wardrobe and returned sometime later, unworn, that would make sense. But to wear something and then return it when there was absolutely nothing wrong with the item is pretty shocking. You do realize that you are driving up prices for the rest of and even driving retailers to become less generous by abusing this policy? Do you think it is okay to buy a whole new wardrobe every season and return it at the end of the season? I have some bras, tags attached, I bought at Nordstrom before I got pregnant, and then my size changed. I decided not to return those because I figured it didn’t make sense to expect the store to “pay” for my life changes. Yes, they allow you to do this, but I think you are abusing the spirit of the policy.

        • PollyD

          Well, those I would have absolutely no qualms about returning – with tags still on, they probably could be sold for the retail price. We all get the occasional “clothes-goggles” or make an impulse purchase that we later want to return (I’m talking unworn things here). If a store wants to limit the amount of time you have to return an item, they can easily do so.

          If you really feel guilty about it, return the bras that don’t fit and use the money to buy, from Nordstrom, some that do.

        • Anonymous

          Why on earth wouldn’t you return unworn, unused merchandise with the tags on that you won’t be able to use? That’s not “ethics”, that’s stupidity.

          • Anon

            Because it’s been more than a year since I bought them… closer to two years… styles etc are probably not current. They probably would have to mark them down or send them to the Rack. Again, why should the store pay for my life changes? I know they would take them back but I can also find a friend to give them to, donate them to a career wardrobing charity, etc. All is not lost! And, LOL, funny that this gets me called “stupid”, is it really that significant that one must resort to name-calling? Ladies, lighten up.

      • mamabear

        I’m sorry, that is just gross.

        Just because the store’s staff were too polite to tell you that you were stealing from them, you were, in fact stealing from them.

    • LawyrChk

      I had exactly the same thing happen with a Classiques Entier silk dress from last Fall (the fabric just fell apart). They took it back no questions asked., although I only received store credit (which was fine by me). I found it helpful to research the date/amount of the purchase and to bring along the credit card that I bought with so they could look it up more quickly.

    • Wondering

      I just returned a pair of shoes that I had worn once because they were simply too small, and they gave me a refund (not just store credit). This is the first time I have ever returned a worn item, and I must say, I felt a bit guilty and doubt I will ever do it again. I made it clear that I had worn them before and having worn them only once, they were in very good condition.

      I think it’s amazing that Nordstrom has such a generous return policy but I agree with others that it’s unfair to take advantage of it by returning clearly worn items.

    • BT

      Another Nordstrom return question:

      My godmother gave me a very expensive leather jacket as a gift, purchased from Nordstrom. She included the original receipt. The jacket is gorgeous, but it just doesn’t look right on me (I’m too small to rock big bell sleeves).

      I would like to return the jacket but it was extremely expensive, and I feel weird returning it for that reason. My godmother purchased the jacket in 09, and I cut off the tags, but didn’t wear it out of the house.

      What should I do? If I did return the item, I’d definitely splurge on the Burberry trench I’ve been coveting there for a long time.

      • Anon

        I think that, if the item is unworn, you should go ahead and return it – I’m sure your godmother would rather you have something you actually wear!

      • Eponine

        I say take it back and exchange it for the trench. There’s nothing wrong with returning a gift that doesn’t suit you. If your godmother hasn’t noticed/isn’t offended that you haven’t been wearing the jacket, she won’t be offended if you exchange it.

  18. Almost-Lawyer

    Does anyone have experience with flats from Banana Republic? I just bought a pair yesterday on major sale (yay!!) but they kind of hurt my feet (boo!!)

    I’m wondering if it’s the kind of thing that will get better once they break in, or if I should just give up and continue my seemingly impossible search for cute, affordable, and comfortable footwear.

    • meme

      I have a pair from the Gap (same parent company, maybe that’s relevant?) that kill my feet. I’ve given up wearing them.

    • Diana Barry

      I had a couple of pairs from BR back in the day, maybe 2002, that were GREAT and I wore them everywhere. I have a pair from last year that are OK but not great, but I think it’s bc I’m developing a bunion and so need a wider width in some brands.

    • Former 3L

      My favorite pair of (brown, woven leather) flats are from BR. They rubbed a smidgen on the first two or so wears, but not enough to give me a blister (and I get a blister from EVERYTHING), and now they are butterlike and I wear them to the mall.

  19. PR

    I agree with the majority of the commenters. Returning items after wearing them if they have no defect is simply not ethical, and I would be embarrassed to do so.

  20. Raspberry Swirl

    Hoping I could still get some comments on this today: tomorrow night I have to attend a gala dinner to accept an award for my senior partner (he’s getting the award but can’t attend, so he’s sending me on his behalf).

    I was told the dinner was black-tie-optional (looking at pictures from previous years, looks very optional), but since I’m going as an actual work appearance, not a social appearance, I thought it would seem more professional to wear a suit. What do you all think?

    I was thinking of my nicest black suit and pearls, if that helps.

    • Anon

      I would not wear a suit to a black tie (optional) gala. You will look extremely underdressed. Wear a dress with a fancy jacket over it if you are concerned about looking conservative.

  21. kellyn

    Just had to share: after failing the bar for the state in which I am currently clerking, I just found out that I passed on the second time.

    The ladies here at Corporette were so helpful and understanding when I shared my first time failure, and I want to thank you all for that. There are few people who truly understand the intricacies and weight of the bar exam, so this was just a great place to come for help dealing with it. Thank you!

  22. PollyD

    Threadjack – will be in Philadelphia Friday night-Saturday morning, staying near Reading Terminal Market. Anyone have any good suggestions for dinner? I’m not crazy about Chinese, but pretty open-minded otherwise. Pricewise, maybe $20-$30 or less for most of the entrees. I’m willing to cab or walk – I’ve stayed in this area before and walked down to Fork on Market Street. Love Fork, but would like to try someplace new. I’m not too interested in BYOB because I do like a glass of wine or cocktail with dinner and don’t really want to have to pack my own or find a place to buy wine.

    Thanks!

    • Legally Brunette

      I live in Philly and we have a wonderful food scene here. Some ideas:

      1. Zavino – pizza and Italian small plates. Not BYO. Walking distance to where you will be.

      2. Bindi (Indian) and Lolita (modern Mexican)– walking distance, BYO, and amazing food. Same owner for both places.

      3. Beau Monde – probably my favorite restaurant in Philly. Not walking distance but a short cab ride to South Philly. Amazing crepes in a very casual and fun environment. Not BYO.

      4. Kanela – BYO, wonderful Greek food, walking distance.

      5. Amada, Chifa, and Jose Garces Trading Company – all Garces restaurants, all wonderful. Chifa is probably my favorite of the bunch, it’s Chinese/Peruvian food, which sounds odd but is great. All are walking distance as well.

      To be honest, some of the best places in town are BYO, so you might be better off just grabbing a bottle. There is a wine store on Chestnut and 12th, I believe.

      Have fun!

      • Cat

        In particular, seconding Bindi (will actually be there Saturday night on a double date! But it is BYO), Kanella and Garces Trading Co. All would be a short walk and GTC has the advantage of selling wine within the restaurant, so you don’t have to worry about having your bottle pre-chilled, and it’s reasonable prices.

        Around Rittenhouse Square, some non BYO options: Rouge (depending on what you order, price-wise) and Parc are always popular – they are right on the Square with lots of sidewalk tables. 20 Manning Grill (one block past Rittenhouse) is also delicious.

    • Anon!

      There are so many great restaurants, it is tough to know where to start! If you are a wine or beer lover, I would recommend Tria (the Washington Square West location at 12th and Spruce). The food is delicious, the wine and beer offerings even better. Raw (Sansom between 13th and 12th) is a great place for sushi (with a wonderful outdoor lounge area if the weather is nice), and El Vez (13th & Sansom) can be a lot of fun for Mexican (I would recommend trying for a reservation on Open Table). If you like something a little different, the Farmer’s Cabinet just opened (Walnut between 11th and 12th) and has an incredible beer selection–and a very interesting decor. If you are looking for something a little divey, Good Dog is also awesome (15th between Walnut and Locust)–the food is absolutely to die for and serves very late.

      • PollyD

        Thanks for all the suggestions! It’s nice to have some recommendations from locals.

        I have actually been to Kanella. My boyfriend is Greek and wanted to go last time we were up – it is very good, best Greek coffee I’ve ever had. The boyfriend also thought it was very good and quite authentic. I’m hoping to hit Kanella for a late breakfast/brunch, will have to see how the schedule goes.

        For any Boden fans who did not get the email, I should have mentioned that I am going to hit the Boden clearance sale which is at the Expo Center. I think – my friend has the details. We do realize it’s not actually in downtown Philadelphia, but thought it would be more fun to stay in town than drive up really really early on saturday.

        • coco

          Oh, I am so jealous! I was visiting my family outside of Philly last weekend and will be back again the weekend after, but I am missing this. Have fun!

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