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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 284 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Leather Patch Houndstooth Blazer

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Smythe Leather Patch Houndstooth BlazerHappy Monday! I really like this houndstooth blazer from Smythe, with brown leather patches on the elbows. I particularly love the look of the cutaway hem, which dips lower in the back than it does in the front… it just seems graceful, chic, and very sharp. The blazer is $695 at Nordstrom. Smythe Leather Patch Houndstooth Blazer Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.16.24

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Comments

  1. Always a NYer

    I had my eye on this blazer but don’t like the brown patches on a black and white jacket. That and it’s not exactly in my price range atm.

    Now for a question – I’m thinking of finally buying the OG bag from Lo and Sons. They have a 25% coupon until June 30. Do any of you have it? Would you recommend it or not? Thanks!

    • Nancy P

      Have it. Love it. Only criticism is that it looks kind of big on me (I’m 5’4″). But then I’m not sure how I could fit everything in the OMG.

      • Anon

        I’m 5’3 and bought the OMG for this reason. It’s perfect as a laptop bag or gym bag, but a little small for a weekend trip. I recently used it as a carryon for a long weekend and it was stuff full – for that purpose I would have preferred the OG.

        Anyway, lots of pockets, love the compartment for shoes and looks chic!

    • In House Counsel

      I have the OMG and really like it for travel. I think even the OMG is a bit on the large side for daily use and still looks like a big bag on my 5’4″ frame. To give you an idea, my OMG can hold a laplop, files or book/ a pair of shoes and scarf or cardi for travel.

    • jcb

      I have the OG and love it for travel. The big center pocket perfectly fits a macbook, power cords, noise-cancelling headphones, a completely-filled medium-sized purse (solving the 2-carry-on issue), a cardigan, snacks and a couple of books. The front pocket keeps your smartphone, bb, id/passport, pens, other small things separate and easily accessible. It’s lightweight and I use it every time I travel now. My only complaint is that when the center pocket is stuffed full, it’s hard to get into the outside pockets – there’s no structure in the bag walls. But, you’d probably have to give up some of the lightweightness for that, and overall I like it as-is.

  2. Anon

    I have it. I have no complaints about it — very well-designed and sturdy. However, I don’t find myself using it as much as I’d anticipated. It’s great for weekend trips if I need to take my computer etc., but I don’t find that it looks polished enough for work travel. Just my opinion.

  3. PharmaGirl

    I love this cut and style but have come to terms with the fact that it will never look right on my figure.

  5. b23

    I was thinking this weekend about our discussion of the No. 2 pencil skirt. I wonder if we were all talking about the double serge cotton one. I have some of their other ones, even ones with cotton in them, and they’re fine. It’s just the double serge cotton one that I *hate*. The fact that I hate it so much makes me think that others who said it doesn’t stretch out on them might have been talking about a different skirt.

    • PghAnon

      This is probably the case, I won’t buy the double-serge cotton ones because the fabric feels terrible, even though I like the others. For instance, the superfine cotton ones are great.

    • MissJackson

      I was one of the people who likes the cotton No. 2, and while I recognize a very big difference in fabric between the “other” No. 2 cotton skirts (I have a several cotton prints, and you’re right — very different fabric) and the double serge, I was talking about the double serge. I swear it doesn’t stretch out terribly for me!

      I will say that I have a very straight figure — not a huge difference between my hips and waist — which is one of the reasons that I love the No. 2 so much. Maybe that makes a difference in how much it stretches? I really don’t know.

    • Monday

      I was one of the people who commiserated with you in the past about it. I am talking about the double-serge, yes. I own two of the No. 2 in eyelet (which is cotton) and the fit is great and wrinkling isn’t a problem. I just think the ones with fabric that keeps and shows wrinkles are accursed because of the lines across one’s hips and the way it warps the back vent. If this makes sense.

      I stand by the “scrunch up the fabric in your hand” test before buying, for this item and others.

    • Anon

      Is the double-serge the solid color skirts? I was one of the commenters saying it doesn’t stretch on me and I own two solids (black, jade) and two printed skirts. I also have curvy hips/small waist. I will say though that one of the printed skirts fits a little differently than the other three even though it’s the same size. Annoying and makes me hesitant to buy online again!

  6. AIMS

    Cute jacket.

    What is the website that lets you know when an item you covet goes on sale?

  7. moonpie

    Just took the ‘X’ out of the back of a new skirt as I arrived at work…and realized for the first time the back slit goes all the way up to my butt. I can reach around, separate the skirt, and there are my undergarments. Seriously, I was so excited about finding a new pencil skirt that fit well on a great deal, now I’ll spend the rest of the day standing against a wall.

    • Jordan

      This happened to me once but I have very little hips so I kinda turned it sideways for the day so it just showed the side of my leg. Safety pin?

    • Bluejay

      I have a skirt like this… I usually wear 3″ shorts underneath my skirts, because I take public transport and get sweaty thighs and whatnot. The slit’s so short that you can totally see the shorts. As a result, I can hardly ever wear it – definitely not to work. And it’s a really cute skirt, too. Bummer.

    • Sydney Bristow

      Been there. I safety pinned it for the day and then stitched it closed to an appropriate slit length when I got home. It’s not too difficult if you are comfortable with a needle and thread. Otherwise, your tailor should be able to do it quickly.

    • CKB

      Thank goodness you care! I see so many ladies wearing skirts like this and they don’t seem to care. And I think they bought the skirt a size too small, too, because the slit is an inverted V that goes all the way up to ….

      And this is definitely a quick & easy fix for you or your tailor.

  8. JessC

    I’m wearing Mermaid’s Dream nail polish by Deborah Lippmann on both my hands and my toes. I feel like such a C*rpor*tte rebel. :)

    • Equity's Darling

      Oh, I’ve been eyeing that polish for a while! Do you love it?

      I had on Lillibet’s Jubilee by butter london last week. It is sooooo shiny, but I love it. Today I’m wearing nasty girl by lippman (the name is terrible, but it’s a really nice purple colour).

      • DC Law

        I’m wearing OPI’s “Houston, We Have a Purple” which I totally picked out because of the name.

      • JessC

        I do love the color! I’ve never been one for blue nail polish, but I think it’s starting to grow on me. I don’t actually own this one – I was at a friend’s house and she let me use it. I’m now eyeing some of the other colors as well. The price seems a bit outrageous to me, but my friend swears that this polish is worth it.

        • Equity's Darling

          I think expensive polish usually worth it.

          Lippman and butter just have such high quality colours (I find the colours more saturated and true) and dry so much more quickly than essie and OPI. I also find China Glaze to be pretty good with dry time and colour quality as well. Chanel is also good for rich colours and quick dry time, but I find their brushes to be inconsistent (sometimes weirdly stringy, which annoys me). And, I find them more durable wearing, and the polish lives longer in the bottle before getting old.

          I haven’t tried NARS yet, just because I haven’t love any of their colours. I’m debating whether to order from A-England, their mysticals and legends collections are soooo prettyy (seriously, google them, gorgeous).

        • Anon

          I only own one Butter polish, but it’s much more thick and clumpy than my OPIs and Essies. Makes it difficult to apply. It’s Teddy Girl, fwiw.

          • Alanna of Trebond

            I like OPI much better than NARS. I have never used any of the others though.

    • Jordan

      Pretty! I am doing mint greenish tonight. Wish I could get away with that beautiful color but just glad I can wear non-traditional colors now. :)

    • NOLA

      Beautiful! I love the sparkly colors but can’t be bothered with the hassle it takes to remove them (even with the tips posted). I’m wearing Secret Periwinkle (China Glaze) and I vow to wear it until I find a new set of sheets in the same color!

      • Equity's Darling

        Oh, that colour is so gorgeous! I’ve never seen it before.
        It’s going on my list of polish wants.

    • Nonny

      I am wearing a classic today: OPI’s “Big Apple Red”. I actually went to the spa and had a proper manicure yesterday (thank you, Whistler low season specials!) and got a really good esthetician who did a fabulous job. Every time I look down at my fingernails they make me smile.

    • Barrister in the Bayou

      I’m wearing Revlon Whimsical. Its a dupe for Deborah Lippman’s Glitter in The Air. I’m really impressed with the quality of Revlon’s polishes and my mani is just too cute!

  9. YAY!!!

    So i’m not sure if anyone remembers but a while ago, i wrote on the board about having an interview with the deans of a law school about transfering – I did a year at another school, didn’t do too great academically, as I was dealing with issues stemming from an assault that happened there. Well, I opened my mailbox up friday to find…the big envelope! I got in!!! I really really don’t think I could’ve done it without the wonderful, kind and thoughtful advice of everyone on this board – being able to express myself about what happened and why my grades were not a true reflexion of my potential was crucial, I believe, to getting in…hooray! This place is the best. As repayment, I’m going to tell everyone about the most delicious thing i ate today – I had a Quaker ‘real medleys” oatmeal cup – i’d never tried one before, but it’s the best instant oatmeal i’ve ever had – i got the mixed berry one and i was basically licking the cup. Thanks all:)

  10. Anon

    Salary question for you all. I was asked for my current base and the potential new company is now offering the exact salary as what I currently have (plus signing bonus). Did I close the door on negotiation by providing my actual salary? How can I negotiate for an increase? The offer is being sent via email right now.

    This is new territory for me but they approached me with the position so I feel I have some leverage here. Any advice?

    • Kontraktor

      I’m interested in seeing responses. I seem to be asked point blank by HR recently what my salary is. I’m not sure how to avoid telling them. They ask, so I let them know. I try to cushion my response by saying things like, “I am targeting a higher pay bracket because I received no cost of living adjustment coming here,” or “I am looking for a fair salary with your company that makes sense given my level of experience.” If I had to negotiate a low ball offer (I haven’t at this point, still hunting), I might try to ask HR if they could tell me where the salary fell in the percentile rankings of people with this level of experience (probably wouldn’t be able to, but it couldn’t hurt to ask I suppose). I found out my salary percentile with my current company and and I am only in the 75th percentile (given similar experience/title/employment level), which makes me feel underpaid. I am wondering if there might be a way to work this in to future salary negotiations. Maybe something like, “With my current company, I’m actually only in the 75th percentile in terms of salary, which probably means I am being undercompensated and should be paid more like around XYZ. Given that your firm is a similar industry and this is a position with greater responsibility than I am currently in, and given my research on the subject, it seems like a fair offer would be XYZ. Does this seem reasonable?”

      I have no idea though. I think there was a commenter recently who posted that she could share an informational packet on negotiations with people who asked. Now that I muse about it here, I might want that packet too.

      • PghAnon

        Ok, I think I’m not understanding something here. Are you saying you make more than 75% of people at your company with the same experience/title/employment level, and therefore you feel underpaid? That doesn’t add up.

        • Kontraktor

          Yes, that’s what I’m saying. The problem in my company is that the salary range at my level is extremely wide (and includes people from fresh out of college to those with a few years of experience and different types of degrees). I asked for the range and the percentile of people at my level/labor category. So, yes even though I make more than 75% of people at my level, the 75% below me makes way less (way, way below my market rate, probably because they are fresh-out-of-u-grad types) and the 25% above me makes way more (but I am closer to these people in terms of degrees and years experience). Plus, given the offer I recently got at another (very small) firm in the same industry and the outside research I’ve done, it leads me to believe I’m not being compensated correctly now given my experience/degrees/etc.

          • PghAnon

            Ok, I thought when you said “similar experience/title/employment level” it meant that there was not a large range in experience.

            It sounds like you are saying that you are at the 75th percentile for people with the same title and employment level, but you are above the 75th percentile for experience and education and therefore you should be making more. If so, then I agree.

            I don’t know if you’re looking for a new job, but if you are, I would be careful how you express this when negotiating salary – the original way you put it wasn’t clear, but you do have a good and fair point and it sounds like you deserve the higher salary.

          • Kontraktor

            Yeah, I totally agree that it would be a bit hard/shady to bring up this exact fact in negotiating with another company. I have been trying to do salary research on every firm I interview with to know what to expect and what is reasonable in the case of an offer. I have been trying to tell HR folks that I don’t want to take less than I am making now (with the exception of maybe a 5-10% decrease if I switched industries or the opportunity was amazetastic and perfect), but that I am targeting a higher salary bracket to make up for cost of living in my new, current area and also because I’m targeting positions that require a few years of experience and moving up in responsibility. Haven’t had the chance to negotiate an offer yet, but so far none of the firms have balked at the range I’ve told them, which is at least 20% higher than what I get now. They have all said that this is within their range, but perhaps the broad moral of the story is to try to do what research you can on salaries, both in terms of your current one and what you feel your market rate should be. It’s hard though because there isn’t a lot of data out there and there are so many soft factors to consider as well.

      • ChocCityB&R

        Still have the packet, and since I’m taking a sick day I’ll actually send it to people!

    • Midwesterner

      That happened to me recently. It sounds like they are taking advantage of the information they have and will allow you to negotiate some more money, but have built that expectation into their offer.

      You should emphasize: 1. the fact that you are taking a risk by leaving your current job where you are successful, happy, etc. 2. any bonus/vesting/other benefits that you are giving up by leaving your current job 3. some sort of requirement like, “I will not leave my job unless I get a 20% pay raise (or whatever).

      Good luck! Remember, once you come to terms and start the job, they own you and there’s not much you can do, so take advantage of your opportunity to negotiate now.

    • momentsofabsurdity

      You definitely have leverage. Indicate to them you are quite happy at your current job and would like to leave for a “step up,” not a lateral move, in both pay and position. Figure out what you want and deserve and ask for it – while they may not give it to you, they won’t pull the offer unless it truly is insane.

      I would say if they offered you your current salary, they expect you to negotiate, and have your current salary as their starting point.

    • Kontraktor

      Sorry, forgot to add. Do you have any idea where your salary falls in terms of the market rate? I have researched a lot on Glass Door what typical salaries for various companies in my industry should be at my level. They seem to roughly equal an offer I was recently given at a firm and turned down. So, I feel like I have a general idea of what I could reasonably expect from a job offer in my same industry right now and would probably try to negotiate to that number if it fell extremely short. Where does your salary fall? If you are already being compensated at the very tippy top of your market rate, it might be unreasonable to expect a higher offer, especially if you are not moving up to more responsibility/a greater title in this new position. Also it is important to consider the size of the firm. Sometimes smaller companies just can’t pay as much, so a company matching your salary (depending on size) could actually be a positive thing. I would say to also consider these types of factors when deciding whether or not you should negotiate.

      One more thing. I read a thread here recently where people were talking about dealing with a commute/balancing that with salary. There was a suggestion to sort of work in transportation costs into salary negotiations and phrase it to them as such. So, if you need X dollars to take the train to work every day, calculate how much pre-tax money you would need to afford that (ie, how much pre-tax money would translate into X dollars for your commuting fee) and ask them to raise your salary by that amount to defray commuting expenses. So, there are ways to negotiate in smaller amounts that might seem more reasonable if the company seems firm on the number and won’t increase by a huge amount.

      • Anon

        I’ve been doing research on glass door but it is a niche position and I was unable to find an equivalent. The other sticky issue is that the title is the same as my current title but it is a different department with a different focus. So basically a bit of a career change for me with a semi-lateral move. My experience and education level are very well suited for the position, despite the training required to bring me up to speed on the more granular responsibilities.

        The advice above regarding commute is interesting too. I will need to buy another car for this job and that expense is definitely something that weighs on me… car payment, increased incurance costs, additional car seat, gas and maintenance. This will be far more expensive than my current monthly train pass.

        • Kontraktor

          This might be good leverage! Calculate about how much money you need to maintain the extra car, then calculate how much pre-tax income that equates to. That might be a good starting point to ask them to raise by, and I feel you could even let them know that this is related to the increased transportation costs you would have with this job. Would you take this job today if you were paid what you are now + additional money to offset the car? If so, (and assuming you aren’t being grossly undercompensated currently), I think this might be a really reasonable place to start (because you’re asking for a specific amount for a specific reason).

    • EngiNerd

      If I were in your shoes, I’d do my very best to not mention your current salary because the new company is just going to use that info to lowball you. Next time, consider a mild fib like “I’m sorry, but Current Company won’t let me share that information, but I’ll consider an offer over $x”. And forget about telling them you have extra spending needs: HR won’t care. They want to know what you’ll bring to New Company (skills, education, experience, connections, etc).

      Still, congrats on getting an offer – that’s terrific! If it’s lower than you expect, maybe you can call them back with something like “Thanks I’ve considered this and think I deserve (preferred-but-still-reasonable salary, additional PTO, company car, etc) instead. Would you please reconsider the offer you sent?” since their offer is really the start of negotiations. As long as you’re not unprofessional or ask for anything weird, they might offer it since they’ve just winnowed you out from the herd of applicants. This worked for me at my current job.

      Good luck!

      • Kontraktor

        Some jobs won’t let you apply to them unless you list salary information. I’ve encountered a lot of online apps that ‘star’ that field so you can’t submit unless you put a number in or require you put it in your cover letter (with the stipulation that letters lacking that information won’t be considered). Sometimes I am not sure there is away around it. Honestly I am not sure it’s the worst thing to say your salary, especially if you are generally being compensated fairly. I would say the only time I would really worry is if I was being grossly and very unfairly underpaid, such that companies would just see it as an excuse to raise my pay X percent based off that amount, vs. raise me up to a standard market rate. It gives everybody a base off which to work. In terms of negotiating based on certain factors, I think it depends on the company. I guess if it’s a giant company with 20k employees, HR is going to be looking at the offer from a much more bottom line/can we afford you sense. But if it’s a smaller company, offering reasons or more specific negotiating points may be beneficial because it shows you’re not trying to just grub money, but rather discuss the parameters that would make you able to take the job given the salary (there is always tons of advice here on negotiating ‘softer’ salary increases like vacation time, transport stipends, maternity leave, etc.).

      • Anon

        I didn’t want to provide my current salary but had no idea what else to say, despite reading plenty on the topic! At this point, it’s too late to take that back bt I’m still surprised that they are offering my exact salary. I’m doing some digging internally to see what our range is for my title because they might think I’m on the high end.

      • TNT

        wow I love that answer enginerd, I mentor, and I’ve never had a good answer when my girls ask me what they should say in response to that question.

    • Gem

      How much would you want? How does the job differ? Is this an advancement? How do you feel about your current role/employer? It all makes a difference!

      Without any of the above I’d go with something like “while I’m excited by the opportunity you’ve presented the renumeration you propose is about 20% less than I anticipated. Can we discuss an offer closer to my expectations?”

    • Divaliscious11

      Is your job the exact same job, with no additional responsibilities? If you are moving laterally, AND you are very competitively compensated, it may be tough but I’d ask for at least a 10% increase in comp (may not be just cash etc…). You have a certain amount of credibility established an current co, and for the same comp, it doesn’t make sens to move, unless you hate your job and/or there are better long term opportunities for you at the new place….

  11. layered bob

    It is so hot in my city this morning – I am today one of those inappropriate young professional women who is wearing a sheath dress but no jacket to court. The courthouse’s AC can’t keep up with the heat and I just couldn’t bear the thought of wearing a jacket. But now I’m at court and realize the error of my ways – wish my arms/shoulders were covered. Fortunately I’m mainly filing and setting dates today. *fans sweaty self with files*

    • Bluejay

      I kind of think it’s more professional to have the jacket off than to be sweating. Sometimes I look around and see all these sweaty-faced men wearing a jacket and tie and I think, thank goodness for short-sleeved sheath dresses.

  12. Legally Brunette

    Anyone use henna/indigo to color their grays? I used the caca noir yesterdayfrom Lush Cosmetics. It was messy to use but it seems to have worked pretty well. Curious if others have used the Lush brand of henna and how long the color lasts. Thanks.

    • AN

      Never used it and cannot speak for the Lush brand, but as a desi whose relatives do use henna to dye grey hair, beware….you may get a orangey look due to henna when it starts fading. Or maybe the people I know weren’t doing it correctly….

      Whatever…just check it out first.

      • Legally Brunette

        Ha ha, this was exactly my fear! :) Hate the orange/red look. I asked the salesperson a gazillion times and she assured me that because the dye has indigo, it keeps it black. I also read the reviews online and no one complained of red/orange hair, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. My hair is jet black today, but will update if I do notice any red.

    • Anon

      Caucasian, brunette, use henna all the time, buy it in Indian/Middle-Eastern stores.
      I used Lush before and Indian powdered henna is a lot easier to prepare and cheaper, though just as messy.
      If you google “henna for hair” you’ll find a great resource.
      With my amount of gray, the hennaed hair looks like highlights, so no concerns about turning orange.

    • SouthAsian

      It depends on how often you wash your hair. You’ll start to notice when it fades – just regularly apply it so it never gets too light – so if you know that it *will* start fading after 2 weeks or 10 shampoos, make sure you have a standing appointment with yourself to reapply.

  13. Merriweather

    TJ – My eyes are puffy from crying on and off for about seven hours yesterday about my inconsiderate BF. All I want to do is go home and put something cold on my eyes and disappear to the beach (note: I don’t actually live anywhere near a beach). But it’s Monday, and I need to power through my day at the office. I think I am done crying for a while, but any office-appropriate ideas for the burning and puffiness?

    • AN

      Sorry , that must be rough. Could you get ice from the fridge and put it over your eyes?

    • momentsofabsurdity

      I’m so sorry. If you have tea bags in the office, go to the bathroom, run them under cold water and put them on your eyes for about ten minutes (sit in the stall if you’re embarrassed). This should soothe your eyes.

    • MaggieLizer

      Sorry you’re going through this. Second the tea bags; try to get eye drops for the redness too. A really fatty drink from Starbucks may also help.

    • Eleanor

      I don’t think this will help with the puffiness, but my eyes hurt less in that situation if I dab cool water around them with my finger periodically. I’m really sorry about the boyfriend.

    • PollyD

      That’s one of the things that was great about working in the lab – you could just go hang out in the cold room for a while if you felt teary.

      Sorry you have to deal with this at work, that sucks. My own BF, while not being technically inconsiderate, is sort of driving me crazy, but luckily the effect on me is more a triggering of extreme annoyance than tears. Try to drink lots of water (I find tearfulness to be quite dehydrating) and I second the recommendation for a fatty Starbucks drink, the foofier the better (chocolate! whipped cream! vanilla!).

      • January

        Black & White mocha. I somehow just discovered this. You can’t even taste the coffee.

    • lucy stone

      Is there a Clinique counter near you? The All About Eyes Rollerball is awesome for crying eyes.

    • Latina

      I take a washcloth (a soft one) and rinse it with cold water. Then put it in the freezer for about 10 minutes. Lay down with it foleded in half so that it covers your forehead to the top of your nose. Feels amazing after a long cry!

    • Merriweather

      Thanks everyone. I’m have been putting in eye drops and that seems to help. I don’t feel like I can do the tea bags and cold wash cloths ideas right now, but I’m going to try to duck out early today so I can get right on it.

      Also, thanks everyone for your sympathies – I may be back later this week for relationship advice.

  14. Foundation Recommendation

    Looking for a recommendation for a drugstore brand light foundation or tinted moisturizer. I currently wear a MAC foundation (NW20) but want something lighter/less expensive for the summer. I’ll be working from home in the next couple of weeks, then starting maternity leave , so want something that will allow me to feel like I’ve made some kind of effort towards maintaining my appearance, but not what I would actually expend if I were leaving the house to go to work… Thanks in advance!

    • momentsofabsurdity

      If you have a Target nearby you, my coworker has been using the Boots No 7 tinted moisturizer which, to be honest, looks just as good as my NARS tinted moisturizer. Didn’t find it in my shade, alas, but maybe it’ll work for you!

    • NOLA

      I tried the Physicians Formula organic wear and I couldn’t stand the scent. It’s very herbal. I’ve been really frustrated in my search for a new tinted moisturizer to replace the MAC that was discontinued. The new MAC is fine but it smells like medicine. I emailed MAC and they claim it must just be old. I’ve had a hard time finding one that fits my criteria:
      -matches my skin tone (very pale)
      -doesn’t have a scent
      -doesn’t make my eyes water (and I don’t put it under my eyes, but some of them irritate my eyes)

      • DC Jenny

        I feel like I’m recommending this all the time, but you should try out Smashbox BB Cream. The shades tend to be pale, I haven’t noticed any scent, and I put it all around my eyes, including on the lids, and haven’t had any irritation. The Too Faced BB cream is also supposed to be good, and BB creams are great for pale skin.

        • NOLA

          Do you get that at Sephora? I had thought about trying some new things. I started on this quest when MAC discontinued their previous one, but I bought so much of it that I am just now on my last bottle. I’ll definitely try the Smashbox. Thanks!

          • Seattleite

            NOLA, if you’re a Beauty Insider member at Sephora, right now you can redeem 100 points for a sample of the Too Faced BB creme.

    • Godzilla

      My skin can’t tolerate any sort of foundation/moisturizer during summer so when I want to look put together, I just apply blush. And that’s it. The other stuff would’ve melted off anyway.

    • Research, Not Law

      I am in love with Sonia Kashuk Radiant Tinted Moisturizer With SPF 15, from Target. I was skeptical but kept hearing how amazing it is. It’s not a camera-ready look, but it makes my skin look naturally flawless. Feels good on. Excellent price. I’ve spent a lot more on foundations that I didn’t like nearly as well. Quick and easy.

    • petitesq

      I was a MAC devotee, too, but now use the Almay Smart Shade line and pretty much love it. The Anti-Aging has a little more coverage, and the original one is a bit lighter. Both are light, lovely, cheap, and have SPF, plus there is a coordinating concealer for the dark circle days. There are two or three color ranges to pick from (fair-light, light-med, and dark, I believe), and it really does blend well.

    • Anonymous NYer

      Try Aveeno tinted moisturizer. I currently use the positively radiant line, which has a bit of shine, which isn’t always ideal, but it’s quite nice and light. There is another type though, from a different Aveeno line, corrector something maybe? That doesn’t have the shine – I’m going to get that one next time I have a good coupon from CVS. I have added it to my daily routine (I put a bit of powder over it to lessen the shine factor during the work day). I now have 3 levels of face make up, this light aveeno tinted moisturizer, my Nars tinted moisturizer, and clinique even better make up (listed from lightest to heaviest). I prefer to feel like I’m not wearing make up, but I really need it with my terrible and uneven skin lately

    • Digby

      Maybelline Instant Age Rewind (or something like that). It comes in a tube/bottle with a sponge on top (there’s a similar, but smaller, Maybelline eye product). It comes in quite a few colors; I’m really pale, and found one that works for me, which is unusual for drugstore brands. And the sponge on top makes application really easy and fast. I’ve gotten it at Target and Ulta.

  15. Anon18

    TJ – Does anyone have experience with selling jewelry on Craigslist or eBay? A good friend broke it off with her finance last summer and still has the engagement ring. She tried to return it to her ex, but he told her she could keep it (he owed her $$ anyway). I know she would like to sell it, and understands that she will be lucky to get 25-30% of the retail price. A local buyer was not interested and so she thinks Craigslist or eBay might be her only option. If anyone has any knowledge or experience with selling an engagement ring online, your guidance would be appreciated! Thanks.

    • cfm

      I think your much better off finding a pawn shop. Not to scare you, but jewelry deals on craigslist often end in crime. they get you to come to the place and then just steal the diamond or jewlery. no one would be willing to pay a lot online since you cant see it in person. there has to be a pawn shop around there, and i think that would be much better

    • anon

      I found my ring via an e-bay listing. Having GIA certification for the ring will help — does your person have one already? If not, probably need to get to get any serious % of its value. Also, think of shipping (US registered mail (not certified mail), FedEx) and payment (credit cards will protect buyers; as a seller, you may not be able to accept cards, but perhaps can work something out with paypal)? Would think it would be easier just to go to a local estate jewelry store. I’d think it would be scary to meet with people in person or deal in cash.

      • Coach Laura

        Yes, be careful if you list on ebay and/or craigslist. There have been home-invasion/robbery occurances in Seattle when people have listed expensive diamonds etc. Meet at a Starbucks or some place without giving out your home address.

    • Wednesday

      Have you heard of I Do Now I Don’t? A brother of a friend sold his ring on the site when his engagement fell through.

      • Anon18

        I completely agree with the fear factor of dealing with online creepers/cash. She has the original receipt from a mall jewelry store, but not sure about the GIA certification. I would much rather deal with a pawn shop or local estate jewelry store myself, and am thinking I might just suggest that route. I will also check out I Do Now I Don’t. Thanks all.

    • ss

      Ebay buyers tend to value sellers with a track record of good ratings which your friend won’t benefit from since she’s doing this on a one-off basis. Second the other suggestions to check with a local shop, at least for a quote.

    • Jenna Rink

      A friend of mine sold an engagement ring under similar circumstances on Craigslist. You just need to really, really, really focus on safety. She had her big, burly Army boyfriend go to the sale with her and met the buyer at a fairly busy business with parking right in front. She also said no to a number of people who contacted her and made her feel at all uncomfortable. I believe she sold it for just under half of what it originally cost.

    • anon prof

      this may be dumb, but can she return it to the store where he bought it?

      • Anon18

        She can’t return it to the store where he bought it. After doing a little more research, I think she will have to settle for 15% of retail value if she decicdes on a pawn shop or similar place or just give craigslist a try. If it is worth it to her to get more for the ring, maybe she’ll recruit a guy friend and go the craigslist avenue. Was thinking maybe she could meet prospective buyer at a bank or other such place that has security, etc.

    • Monday

      Well, in case anyone else was wondering, it does not appear to work at Madewell. Didn’t have any reason to get my hopes up…but FOOEY

    • b23

      I got that email and bought a really cute mint bikini for less than $50 – nice!!!

        • Kontraktor

          I looked through the bathing suits and saw a million I liked but nothing in my size. I exhausted all combinations and really only one would have worked which I didn’t even like that much. Big frowny face. Sugh good deals.

    • Cat

      although I loathe the jcrew shipping minimum, couldn’t resist picking up the silk bow cami in kelly green. seersucker + navy cardi, here we come :)

  17. Kate

    Need some quick advice on wedding guest outfit…

    I have a light blue satin knee length dress in my cart, but before I bought it I started wondering if this was a smart purchase….

    Will I be able to wear a light blue satin dress again? It seems too dressy for a baby shower or an afterwork c*cktail party. Maybe I should stick with something I can get more wear out of? I don’t see myself wearing this again unless it is to another wedding. Thoughts?

  19. b23

    Thanks to whomever recommended that chickpea/fennel couscous last week! I made it last night, and it was de.lic.ious. I added some fresh basil, which made it even better.

    • TCFKAG

      Since we’re sharing. Last night my husband made a chicken and pea risotto (from scratch) with buffalo mozzarella chopped up in it.

      I know so often we complain about our men on here, but you know…he’s a real keeper. :-)

      • Nonny

        Yup….and on that topic, on Friday night my BF made panko-crusted oysters as an appetizer, and the most amazing garlicky spot prawns for the main course. It was incredible and I’m still not sure what I did to deserve it.

  20. SFMK

    I ordered the DV sandals from the Weekend Open Thread in “teal snake” on Friday and I can’t wait to get them from Zappos so that I can put them on and wear them under my desk. It might be the one thing that gets me through the day!

  21. anon f-t

    Blargh. Coworker just came into my office with her kid (who is now drawing on my whiteboard) and went “Okay, Jane [kid’s name], do you want to play in here? Great. Okay I’ll be in my office!” and walked out. BLARGHARGH.

    • new york associate

      Who does that? Seriously, I have a kid but cannot even IMAGINE doing that. I even feel awkward having my daughter in the office because I don’t want to distract my coworkers.

      • anon f-t

        I don’t know and I don’t want to be rude but I can get zero done with a 5 year old in here chattering to me.

        • AnonInfinity

          It would not be rude for you to go to coworker’s office and ask her to come get her child. How incredibly rude of her to do that. I would honestly not go for this even one time because it will open a door.

        • anon prof

          That is ridiculous! March the kid back to his/her mom (nicely). Deposit the child with the mom, say, it was nice to hang out with your child for a bit, but I’ve got work to do. Leave, and close her office door on your way out.

    • Coalea

      Wait, your coworker just dumped her kid on you and walked out? Unacceptable. I would send coworker an email saying that you are being distracted and could she please come and get her kid.

      • anon f-t

        Yep. I took the kid back to her office after 15min or so of drawing, and asked her if there was a movie she could watch or something because I have a big project to get done for my boss (small white lie but whatever). She said, “Oh no, Jane will be very quiet, don’t worry! I’ll set her up with a movie in your office, because I need to get on a call.”

        I said, “I’m sorry but I’m running out for lunch” and she said “Okay, well, maybe when you get back!” with a big smile.

        The entitlement, it boggles the mind. WTF.

        • Sydney Bristow

          Wow. That is just incredible to me that she would do it in the first place but even more so that she would continue to push it after you said you had work to finish. If the kid is really that quiet, why can’t the kid be in her office during the call?

        • anonz

          That is crazy! Why would you watch her kid? If she has a call, she needs to deal with it.

        • CKB

          Sounds like she’s not getting the hint & you just need to say “No, I’m sorry, but your daughter cannot be in my office today.” Perhaps offer to lend the little girl a pair of ear buds so she can quietly watch her movie in mommy’s office.

          I cannot imagine doing anything like this, and I have 3 sons. Thankfully I’ve never had to have them at work with me for more than 30 min or so.

        • Gem

          Childcare isn’t in my job description. Please don’t deposit your child in my office, I’d hate to have to be rude about this.

    • Godzilla

      In your office? What? No, that’s not ok. Is there a conference room or smtg where coworker + child can hang out?

      I love it when coworkers bring kids to work but that is just odd.

      • Godzilla

        Whoops, advice: return the kid to its parent and say that you need to potty. And that you have meetings all day and cannot be disturbed. And you do have meetings. With your work.

        • Research, Not Law

          Like this approach.

          Children in the office is common during summer break here, which I love, but no one would ever do that to a coworker!!!

    • KK

      Bizarre. I would march her right back to coworker’s office and say “Oh, there’s your mommy!” like you were playing hide and seek. And then exit.

  22. Aunt

    A few weeks ago someone posted about Articipe on etsy, and having a “what little girls are made of” (spunk, kindness, curiosity, honesty, strength, etc) recipe done. I loved that idea – I have two friends, each of whom have two little kids, who are both moving at the end of July, and I’d like to give them one of these, so four total –

    But Articipe is no longer taking custom orders! So does anyone know of an etsy seller who provides colorful, not too expensive screen prints like articipe’s shop does?

  23. Cookies and Wine

    Shopping help, please. My mom’s 60th birthday is coming up and I’d like to get her a necklace as a gift. Her style is somewhat traditional, I guess, and she tends to like things that are kind of medium sized. So, no huge statement pieces but also not something super delicate. I’m thinking something she can wear out to a nice dinner, etc. and that would go with a variety of things. I’d like to spend between $150 and $300. Any suggestions? Thanks!

  24. deep undercover

    i was the victim of a crime recently. the police are investigating and should be able to get the assailant’s identity but it will take a lot of time, i saw the assailant face to face so will have no problem identifying.
    but through some serious social media research i think i’ve found the assailant and found some facts that match the scenario and have seen a lot of photos of him and can swear it’s the same person. what should i do with this info?

    • momentsofabsurdity

      Send it to the police. They may or may not do anything with it (when our office got robbed a few months ago, we found the items for sale on Craigslist and sent the link to our local police, but by the time they followed up – 2 weeks later – the listing and stuff was gone) but yes, absolutely send it to the police and explain your suspicions.

    • DC Law

      Call the detective and ask about it. I was also the victim of a crime, and the detectives were very nice about talking to me, explaining what was going on with the investigation, what information they needed from me and all that. If it’s somehow not allowed or whatever (I’m in no way a criminal lawyer so I have no idea!) they will tell you. They do not want to get caught doing procedural misconduct and they’ll know what’s allowed and what isn’t. And any information that leads to quicker arrest of the right person is good.

      • TCFKAG

        Agree with this. Don’t just call and file a police report. Make sure you talk to the detective assigned to your case. And make sure all the paperwork is filed, etc. But honestly, I’m not sure YOU can have committed a procedural violation (not being a representative of the state and all), but be prepared for a certain amount of skepticism, because first-person identifications are notoriously suspect.

        Just be confident and follow-up. And make sure you’re always following up with the same detective.

  25. CleveAnon

    Ladies, can I ask what your daily food is like? I’ve gotten some comments recently that indicate that what I’m eating is far, far out of the ordinary in my office, but since I don’t generally eat lunch with people I’m curious as to what normal people are eating on a regular basis!

    • momentsofabsurdity

      Daily food usually looks something like:

      1) Coffee in the morning
      2) Sandwich (usually turkey on wheat with spinach and cheese) and maybe a pickle for lunch. Potentially a Diet Coke.
      3) Afternoon snack (raisins, yogurt, etc)
      4) Dinner – varies but usually either a sandwich, salad or pasta since I’m lazy when I get home.

      Weekends I’m a bit more adventurous and occasionally actually cook real dishes, though.

    • Kontraktor

      Breakfast: something I bring to work. Lately it has been a small container of cottage cheese and a piece of bread or fruit (berries, cut up nectarine, etc). Sometimes I will bring a tupperware of cerreal (Cheerios, Total, etc.) and eat it plain. Occasionally I will bring a crossant/bagel/small breakfast pastry. Eat it with 2 cups of coffee I bring in a thermos from home.
      Snack: Usually one before lunch. Could be a piece of fruit, banana chips, triscuits, gold fish, nuts, a nut bar.
      Lunch: Varies, but right now a frozen health meal of sorts (ex, Kashi). Sometimes I bring bread, meat, and cheese separately; tuna salad w a side of pickled vegetables; or a bit of dinner leftovers. No afternoon snack right now.
      Dinner: Biggest meal of the day that I cook. Can be anything really, although I eat too much at dinner. But I cook probably 6 out of 7 days using as many whole/homemade foods as possible. Very big into meat + veg + starch (or protein + veg when I care more). Don’t eat dessert except soccasionally I will have a small cookie or 1 chocolate square with a cup of tea after dinner.

    • FormerPhotog

      Breakfast – Coffee, Egg puff
      Morning snack – fruit or muffin
      Lunch – Salad or dinner leftover
      Afternoon something (usually the fruit or muffin I didn’t have in the AM)

      Then dinner @ home

      Look – if you’re not the person microwaving fish, I think that making food judgements is rude. (and frankly, as long as you wipe down the micro after, I don’t even care if you nuke your fish!)

      • Jamie

        Thought I’d offer a tip for microwaving leftover fish: after nuking it, place a cup of cold water in the microwave and heat for one minute. The water will have soaked up the fish smell. Works every time.

    • Research, Not Law

      Breakfast: Toast at home; Yogurt, banana, and tea at office.
      Lunch: Typically leftovers or sandwich.
      Snack: Nuts, dried fruit, apple, more tea.
      Dinner: At home; could be anything, but we aim for well-balanced; sometimes includes dessert (ice cream bar, chocolate, sorbet, etc)

    • Equity's Darling

      I’ll tell you what I have for today! Usually I have some variation on these things (I’ll change the salad to soup, or maybe make an omelette for dinner and have granola for breakfast…etc.):

      Breakfast: a hard boiled egg with dijon mustard and some chives
      Morning Snack: A baby bell and cut bell pepper
      Lunch: tomato/cucumber/black bean salad
      Afternoon snack: apple and a few almonds and cashews
      Dinner: don’t know yet? Probably lentil or black bean soup.

      What do you think you’re eating that is out of the ordinary?

      • CleveAnon

        Today was what I would call the oddest thing I’ve ever eaten at work, for a baseline–I swapped out my usual morning snack for leftover red quinoa with blueberries and spices, but I ate it cold at my desk.

        • Equity's Darling

          I bring quinoa allll the time. As a vegetarian, it’s actually a staple in my diet.

          How is that weird? In fact, I’m more curious about what spices you put with the bluebs, because I cannot figure out how to enjoy my quinoa as sweet, I always have it as savoury (though I hear it can do both).

          • CleveAnon

            Cardamom and freshly grated nutmeg, with just a little honey. :) It also got fantastically thick after sitting in the fridge all night–I’m definitely making this again.

        • Goosebumpy

          Umm, that sounds awesome. I used to get teased for bringing whole cooked sweet potatoes with butter and brown sugar into the law library to eat as part of my lunch. Bravo to you for eating well!

      • Jennifer

        My day looks a lot like yours, ED. Scrambled eggs with herb oil or hard boiled egg over toast (w/coffee) in the morning, some kind of noodle or grain salad for lunch (a sandwich occasionally, but I usually burn out on them after a few days), and a home-cooked dinner that is mostly protein + veggies (tonight it’s salmon/asparagus/fruit salad). I almost always have a homemade iced coffee in the afternoon. Sometimes I eat snacks during the day (nuts, cheese/crackers, etc) but I try to keep that in check.

    • SF Bay Associate

      First off, it’s really rude for your coworkers to comment on your food choices in a negative way.

      Breakfast – 5:30 am a glass of Kefir or mini Luna bar before workout, 7:30am protein smoothie (protein powder + frozen sliced bananas + almond milk) or kashi golean crunch with soy milk after workout.

      12:30 lunch – I bring my lunch most days. Sandwich (turkey or tuna, no cheese) or salad (tofu/chicken, nuts/beans, veggies, very light vinegarette), in-season fruit. Sometimes, leftover dinner. Or I’ll buy a salad from the nearby sandwich shop with what I would normally bring from home.

      3/4pm snack – 0% fage, mini Luna bar, kefir, or fruit … or pretzel crisps if I’m making poorer choices. Sometimes I have my s* together enough to bring hummus and carrots/bell peppers. Some days will also involve a square of dark chocolate (72% or higher).

      7:30 dinner – varies, but usually homemade. Ground turkey tacos (those Frontera sauces from Rick Bayless are awesome), grilled chicken/fish on salad or with roasted/sauteed veggies, pasta with homemade red sauce, chicken stir fry, etc. I try to watch my portions and eat more veggies and less carbs/meat because I eat way more than I need to if I don’t.

    • JK

      Breakfast: greek yogurt and granola & coffee
      Snack: granola bar or fruit
      Lunch: soup, salad, or sandwich, or a TJ’s frozen meal, etc.
      Snack: banana
      Dinner: varies, but always the biggest meal of the day [because of my husband!! ha!]

    • CleveAnon

      The first comment that I got was on this fruit salad that I brought in for a co-worker’s birthday brunch. (Fruit or fruit salad was on the signup sheet, so I didn’t generate this idea)

      http://smittenkitchen.com/2008/11/winter-fruit-salad/

      I’ve also received comments on homemade lasagna that I bring in, pasta, my usual snack of almonds. I bring in almost 100% of my food since I’m cheap and don’t like taking time out of my day to hit the cafeteria.

      I’m definitely not the one reheating fish in the microwave, but my diet does veer towards home-cooked foods, heavy on protein, veggies, and whole grains, and I can’t figure out where this perception of “oddness” is coming from.

      • JK

        That fruit salad looks great! I don’t think this is odd at all. I cook every night for dinner and bring leftovers for lunch when I have them, but we don’t usually have very much left over. Maybe these people just don’t cook? Weird.

      • FormerPhotog

        Wow! That looks tasty, and your diet doesn’t sound odd at all. I almost never get lunch out, unless something’s come up, or I’m not in the office all day.

        People are always shocked that I cook as well as I do, but I think that has more to do with my age/appearance more than anything else – the collection of allergies/intolerances/dietary preferences in my current office are enough to make a short order cook’s head spin – I’d never call anyone weird.

        • PollyD

          I made that fruit salad for my bookclub and they loved it and didn’t think it was weird.

          I’m so over people judging other people’s food choices (at least to their face – I privately snark on some of the only-processed-food eaters I know, and I irrationally hate diet sodas) – unless you want to ask me about the recipe for my delicious-looking lunch, or where I got the amazing BLT sandwich, I don’t want to hear it.

      • Senior Attorney

        I think your food seems fab and healthy and tasty and not at all odd. However if people are used to takeout and fast food I can see how it might seen out of the ordinary. I wouldn’t sweat it! I bring a lot of home-cooked leftovers for the days when I don’t go out and generally people seem to be envious, if anything.

      • Kontraktor

        Some people just have really, really unhealthy eating habits and don’t understand those with heathy eating habits. I had one coworker once who probably drank almost 12 diet cokes per day. Another refused to eat green vegetables of any sort (well and most vegetables) and his lunch was almost always wonder bread with oscar meyer type bologna. Another I feel had a donut for breakfast, a donut for a snack, and another donut for lunch (this person was not overweight, but I guess he pretty much just ate donuts). So, when somebody comes in eating all this home cooked, really healthy food, I think people act strange about it because it’s so different than what they eat and it probably seems really really weird and unapproachable to them (especially considering how some people are very particular eaters and probably can’t really fathom trying new things in general, much less ‘strange’ sounding things like keen-wa).

        • NOLA

          Totally agree. People tend to bring lunch here, but it’s often sandwiches or pre-packaged stuff, sometimes leftovers. I finally got disgusted with my lunch choices (mostly sandwich and yogurt) and started my current lunch (chicken and veggies). It caused a big of a stir in the office because it was different and, frankly, looks beautiful on the plate. I think people were more congratulatory (wow! that looks great! and healthy!) than judgey though. Now they’re used to it. Even though it takes more time to prepare on Sundays, it’s worth it because it’s better for me and I feel like I’ve eaten a meal and I actually want to eat it.

      • Ignore Them

        The real question is what are your office mates eating? “Normal” food full of heavily processed simple carbohydrates and sugar (bread, pizza, pasta salads with cream sauce, iceberg lettuce with grated cheese and ranch dressing that they erroneously call a salad)?

        You will still be healthy and alive at 85. Them? Who knows . . .

      • Research, Not Law

        Yeah, I think the issue is with your coworkers.

        I once worked somewhere where my spinach salad with nuts and brie attracted gawkers. Literally, nearly everyone in the office stopped by my desk just to see it. It was like a unicorn compared to the LeanCuisine’s they ate everyday.

        Nothing you’ve described would cause anyone in my current office to bat an eye, except to maybe say causally “that looks good” and move on.

      • Anastasia

        If healthy, home-cooked food is “far, far out of the ordinary,” I don’t want to be normal!

        I also bring in almost 100% of my food because 1. I am cheap, and 2. Philosophically, I prefer whole, natural food without preservatives. Typical day:

        Breakfast at home: some kind of eggs
        Coffee or tea when I get to work
        Lunch: Spinach salad with nuts, fruit and cheese crumbles. Or, sometimes, leftovers
        Afternoon snack: Yogurt with fruit and/or nuts
        Supper: Whatever I make for supper. Usually protein+starch+vegetable. Tonight will be chicken and dumpling soup (I’m looking forward to it already!)

    • Accountress

      Breakfast: Poptarts + milk
      Lunch: generally pasta-from-home/grocery store or pizza-from-cafeteria
      Snacks: caffeine-free Coke in the AM, orange juice in the afternoon
      Dinner: pasta or grilled cheese+turkey sandwich
      Dessert: another caffeine-free Coke

      That’s weekdays only; weekends I end up not eating lunch until 3 and dinner until 10 or 11, because I forget to eat unless someone reminds me or I actually feel hungry

    • Seymour

      Breakfast postworkout – smoothie (protein powder, milk, frozen fruits, leafy greens, oats, and some spices)

      Snack – small handful of nuts or small piece of cheese

      Lunch – protein and veggies (chicken, fish, picadillo, roast pork, etc with whatever veggies I felt like cooking the night before)

      Snack – greek yogurt with fresh/frozen berries

      After evening workout – protein shake (protein powder/water)

      Dinner – varies, but pretty similar to lunch. Some minimally processed grains. Fruit for dessert.

      I’d say that 90-95% of my meals fall into this relative pattern. The rest is up for grabs :)

    • Senior Attorney

      You can’t just post something like that and not tell us what you’re eating! ;)

      Here’s my usual:

      B: Either Trader Joe’s Reduced Guilt Mac n Cheese or a chopped up apple, some blueberries, diced walnuts and Greek yogurt all mixed up together. I bring it to work and eat at my desk.

      L: Usually go out with colleagues and usually order a kid’s meal (small burrito, grilled cheese sandwich, fish & chips) if it’s available because I can’t eat a big lunch. If there’s no kid’s meal I’ll eat half of my lunch and take the rest home for dinner. My lunch gang is all men and they make fun of me for how little I eat but it’s all in fun and it doesn’t bother me.

      • CleveAnon

        Ha, it’s not fair of me to ask you all to share and not share myself!

        Breakfast (at home): Coffee, scrambled eggs on toast or peanut butter toast with honey.
        Morning snack: Recently swapped out a Zone bar for the quinoa with honey and spices and whatever CSA fruit looks sketchy mentioned above
        Lunch: Always leftovers, generally rotates between the following: whole wheat pasta with meat sauce, tomato-sausage risotto, whole sausages with edamame, salad with leftover cold steak, salmon, or chicken. Sometimes soup.
        Afternoon snack: Apple (or other fruit), almonds. Occasionally I’ll do hard boiled eggs or veggies with hummus.
        Dinner (at home): Usually something else from the lunch rotation.

        • Senior Attorney

          As I said above, this looks like super fab healthy food that is not at all odd! Until I transferred to this job site about 9 months ago and fell in among a gang of goer-out-to-lunchers, I ate almost exactly like you do.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe I am missing something here, but why does it matter what you eat for lunch? I am not clear why your colleagues are commenting. And, so what if they are commenting? I eat what I want, when I want. I’m a grown woman and can take care of myself.

      That said, I find usually people are commenting on my food because they are really commenting on my weight or physique. I would just ignore their comments or smile and say, “oh would you like to try some?”

    • NOLA

      Breakfast: Special K protein plus with blueberries and skim milk (would love to switch to almond milk if I could thin it somehow)
      Lunch: Chunks of grilled or sauteed chicken, blanched green beans, grape tomatoes, baby carrots
      Snack: handful of chocolate toffee peanuts (I know – bad bad)
      Dinner: tonight is sliced steak from a roast I grilled yesterday on top of a big salad with asparagus, tomatoes, peppers, and cucumber

      • Coach Laura

        NOLA, almond milk is very easy to make. I think you could make some (weak, if you want it) and dilute purchased almond milk. You just need raw, unsalted almonds, filtered water, vanilla if you want, and a blender. There are instructions – as you might imagine – on the internet.

        • NOLA

          Very interesting! I kept looking in the other thread for your post because I posted there about that very thing. This cracked me up because I mentioned something about almost milk to my SO and he said “almond milk! that’s ridiculous! you can’t milk an almond!” But apparently you can…

    • ChocCityB&R

      I love this question because I just lost a bunch of weight by completely changing my eating habits, and I see from other’s responses that I was eat waaaaaay more than the norm before (and thankfully I’m feeling satisfied with what I eat now).

      Breakfast: two eggs + banana usually, or oatmeal + blueberries on cold days. Eggs w/veggies and breakfast meat (bacon or something) on weekends.

      Snack 1: 16 almonds or 20 cherries.

      Lunch: soup, salad, or left overs from dinner.

      Snack 2: 1/2 cup cottage cheese, cup of blueberries, handful walnuts

      Dinner: some form of lean protein, cooked with minimum oil, rice or couscous, and lots of veggies steamed or with some kind of sauce. Weekends: go out to a favorite restaurant, have whatever I want (usually Asian food or the occasional steak).

      Late night/dessert: Rarely have dessert. More of a salty food lover than a sweet tooth. Occasional dark chocolate squares, but my weakness is potato chips. Substituted with popcorn with flavor seasoning. Not the healthiest, but it satisifies the cravings.

      Now that I read all that, especially compared to everyone else, I’m starting to think I eat waaaay too much again ;-)

    • ChocCityB&R

      Opps, I forgot to mention that I drink an obscene amount of tea. Basically, 4 cups every two hours. Before noon it’s green tea, after noon it’s herbal only (or else I get the jitters). Drinking tea is a part of my non-procrastination ritual (though it hasn’t been working that well lately). I get a sip when I finish a thought, and I get to take a break when I run out of tea to get more tea. Add to that the frequent bathroom breaks, and it’s like the pomodoro method with my body as the timer.

      • CleveAnon

        Oh my goodness, me too, except with water. I’m almost done with liter 3 of the day and peeing every hour on the dot helps keep me focused.

    • w.coast

      7:45 breakfast: kashi go-lean with milk and fruit
      12:30 lunch: leftovers — usually some variation on beans and rice, vegetable stew, tortillas with vegetables and cheese, egg dishes, sometimes chicken.
      6:00 snack: greek yogurt
      9:30 dinner: same kinds of things as lunch, or scrambled eggs of quesadillas if we’re busy, plus a piece of chocolate always.

    • Jamie

      Late to this one, but I had to contribute, for I love food!

      I start each day with hot water with fresh lemon juice (1/2 of a lemon); then I douse myself awake with coffee ( Trader Joe’s medium roast) while eating a breakfast sandwich I adopted from a local cafe: one slice whole wheat, toasted and smeared with veggie cream cheese and topped with one slice of ultra thin Swiss cheese and two egg whites.

      I skip lunch a lot , plowing through work instead; but when I do I enjoy making a flatbread pizza, topping it with pesto, mozzarella, sun dried tomatoes and artichoke with steamed kale in lieu of salad. Diet Coke. If I can’t get to lunch I stave off hunger with a Think thin protein bar: creamy peanut butter is my fave, with diet coke.

      I snack at three ish on my energy mix of raw almonds, cashews and dried cranberries, or a couple of squares of dark chocolate, with water . I drink at least six cups of water a day.

      Dinner is a protein and steamed kale. Tonight’s dinner was slow cooked boneless pork chop with the ever present kale, with diet coke.
      And dessert is typically three squares of dark chocolate (Trader Joe’s Pound Plus – 72% ) slathered with creamy peanut butter and diet coke.

  26. Anon in Canada

    Hi all! Long time lurker, sometime commenter, first time TJ. I’d love some advice from the hive on a friendship issue.

    My husband and I are part of a tight-knit circle of friends. We hang, we talk, we text, we play games, we go on trips together, we practically live in each other’s pockets. The group is comprised mostly of established couples, plus one single woman who is so funny, kind, smart, affectionate and generally wonderful that everyone’s sort of in love with her.

    A married man in our group, whose been with his wife since high school, has confided in my husband that he’s developed such strong feelings for our friend that he’s thinking of leaving his wife for her. Though he didn’t say as much, it’s pretty clear something physical happened between them a few weeks ago occasion… maybe just kissing, maybe more. She’s imposed a ban on phone calls and hanging out since that’s happened.

    My husband said the obvious things: Talk to a counsellor; this is a case of forbidden fruit vs. old married couple; leaving your wife for someone who doesn’t love you back is a bad thing; divorce is really rough; if you file for divorce and you’re the one who’s cheated and you’re the primary wage earner, you will pay alimony through the nose; he needs to talk with his wife about this.

    My husband chatted with our single friend late last night. He didn’t get much more out of her, but gave her pretty much the same advice. He added that I’m filled in on the situation too.

    So here’s the deal: This single friend? She’s one of our closest friends. I want to be there for her, but I’m also angry. I’m hurt that she didn’t tell me anything (irrationally – it’s none of my business, I know, but now we’re involved whether we like it or not).

    We’re disappointed in both of them equally. We’re angry our fantastic group friendship dynamic is jeapordized.

    We’re not sure what our obligations are to our married friend’s wife. On one hand, it’s not fair that we know about this mess and she doesn’t. She’s a close friend and she’s 100% the wronged party in this situation. On the other hand… *sigh*. Her husband should tell her, not us. But we don’t know if he will.

    My husband and I don’t know how to deal with us. Has anyone experienced anything similar? What should our single friend do? What should our married guy friend do?

    Any advice would be welcomed.

    • LawyrChk

      This is not intended to be snarky, but I’d suggest that you and your husband MYOB and let the parties involved work it out. I would not counsel or advise any of them, except to say that they need a counselor.

      Being upset that they are messing up your friend group and not dishing all of their dirty laundry to you seems very selfish. They are jeopardizing a marriage, and your post seems much less concerned about that than having your buddies all go on vacation together.

      • Anon in Canada

        No, fair enough. We are obviously feeling selfish and angry at the moment, as this all went down last night and we haven’t had time to process anything. It’s good to have outside perspective on this.

        FWIW: Both the man and the woman contacted my husband of their own volition, seperately… he’s not one to pry. He’s very much a MYOB kinda guy. Frankly, I’d rather we didn’t know about this at all.

    • JK

      My two cents, for what it’s worth:

      -The husband should be the one to tell his wife. Even though you guys know about it and it puts you in an awkward position, you should step back and let the couple deal with this privately. If you or your husband stepped in and told her what was going on it would only make this conflict more complicated and even more poisonous to your group of friends. Hopefully he will come clean very soon and get into counseling with his wife.

      -The single friend should take a step back from the group for now. When the wife finds out, she is going to need friends to fall back on.

    • Socksberg

      Maybe I’m missing something, but how do you know your single friend reciprocates this married man’s feelings? From reading your post, it sounds like this man has feelings for this woman, and that something may have occurred, but could it be possible he attempted something and she stopped it, which is why she’s refusing contact now? I would hold off your judgement on this situation until you hear from everyone.

      • Anon in Canada

        You’re right: We don’t know how it went down. It’s very possible he tried something and she stopped it.

        They’ve been spending a lot more time together than usual over the past few months, so I… I don’t know. In hindsight, I doubt this came out of nowhere. It may be one-sided, maybe not.

    • SAB

      I am of the school of thought that the only people who really know what is going on in a marriage are the two people in it. So although your friend confided in your husband at some point, you don’t know what he has told his wife or what their relationship is like behind closed doors. Emotional infidelity is a real thing, but I don’t think I would step in this yet and mention it to the wife. Your husband has said his piece to all parties and now it would probably be best for him to just back out. They are adults and need to figure this out on their own. I mean this gently, but don’t let your anger that the awesome group utopia has been disturbed serve as motivation to act.

    • Anonymous

      I think the best thing you can do is advise your married friend to deal with his marriage. As for your single girlfriend, I would suggest making it clear to her that you love her and want to support her, however she needs it. So you are disappointed in her and your married friend, but it really isn’t your place to judge. I am sure she is having a really hard time and giving herself enough judgement that she doesn’t need yours.

      You should NOT take sides. You should NOT weigh in. This is the time to be a supportive friend and to respect her privacy if she decides not to share this with you. Keep in mind that the only reason you know is b/c the married guy told you – which might be b/c he wants you all to blow the lid on it, so he doesn’t have to. It was unfair of him to tell you and bring you into it, but what happened between your friend and him is between them.

    • cfm

      Honestly, it sounds a little bit like you want to be in the drama. There is no reason for you to tell the wife. There is no reason you should be mad that the other woman didn’t tell you. There is no reason you should be soliciting advice for your married guy friend. Your single friend hasn’t even confided in you so I don’t know what getting advice for her would do to help. The married guy needs to figure his own sh*t out and you need to tell him that. And I’d be more concerned for the wife than the single friend, since you said your all a little in love with her, i’m guessing that if this shakes out, its the wife thats going to be out of the group. Also, not getting divorced because you’ll have to pay a lot isn’t exactly the stuff romance is made of. If thats the only reason you guys could come up with, it might be for the best if the couple went seperate ways.

      • Anon in Canada

        I should have clarified: This all went down yesterday, with two seperate phone calls made to my husband – one from him, one from her, both asking for advice. If it were up to us, we wouldn’t be involved. (My husbad really, REALLY doesn’t want to be involved.)

        Thank you for your perspective on this.

      • Jennifer

        It’s hard to say, yes, spill the beans. But if I were the wife I sure would want to know.

        • Anon in Canada

          That’s the dilemma. I would, too. I don’t know what would be a worse way to find out… all seem equally awful.

          Hive consensus is it’s not our place to take any action on this at all. Which is fair. It feels like a betrayal of our friendship with the wife to pretend ignorance. But it’s not our feelings that matter here.

          • Anonsensical

            You’ve really been put in a tough position – frankly, I think it was immature and unfair of your friends to have dumped this on your husband (and, by extension, you). It’s terrible knowledge to have and will color your relationships with all of these people now, regardless of what you do with it. Personally, I would take a break from the entire group until the primary parties have worked things out. You can’t get involved, and it will be hard to interact with everyone knowing that you know something the wife doesn’t know.

    • so so anon

      As a follow up to this question–what do you ladies think generally about developing “feelings” like this for someone else when one is married? Does it necessarily have to mean that the marriage is fatally flawed? Or can be just a crush, which becomes really intense just because something is forbidden? Are feelings like this necessarily even “real”? And if one does develop feelings like this for someone, is it within one’s power to get rid of them?

      These are complicated questions without easy answers, and since you are all so insightful, I am really curious to hear what the hive thinks about these issues.

      • cfm

        A crush is something like the delivery guy at the office is cute and calls you maam in a way that makes you feel kind of funny. “Feelings” like this are in the big trouble category, and a big part of it is 1) time spent together and 2) things shared with each other. As a married woman, I can’t imagine a scenerio where I was somewhere intimate with one man that was not my husband. I have lunches with coworkers or drinks with friend or friends but I would never be like, in another man’s house or bedroom where something like could even happen. And I just would never want to be having intimate (even if not physical at all) time with another guy. I think you have a lot of control over this kind of stuff, more than a lot of people would like to admit. But if I’m on a diet I’m not going to go buy 10 pints of my favorite ice cream and put it in my freezer you know?

        • Anon

          This. I am close to a situation similar to the original OP’s. I believe the mistake happens well before the “cheater” realizes he/she has “feelings” or acts on them. It is engaging in a relationship that develops that level of intimacy in the first place that is the trigger. I do not mean to say that married people can’t have close friendships (and this is not always an opposite sex issue), but there is a line between that and emotional intimacy that competes with the marriage.
          Often this starts with confiding about issues in the marriage. But when your friend knows more about how you feel about your marriage than your spouse does, you’ve crossed over into the danger zone and invited that person inside. When you share the depths of your unbalanced side of the story, you arouse your friend’s protective instincts and potentially cause them to interfere where they might not otherwise. I know people want to be able to confide about their relationships, but there is so much trouble to be had there if it goes too far. There is a reason there are professionals who get paid to listen to these issues, and also a reason why those professionals have ethical rules that prevent them from engaging in relationships with their patients, who often develop “feelings” for their counselors.
          And if you find yourself in this position, you sure as heck better decide whether you want to stay married before you start discussing leaving the marriage with the new interest. This idea that you should test the waters with the new interest while making the decision is garbage. That is just plain selfish and cruel to the other parties.
          To the original OP – be aware that your single friend may actually end up being the one who loses the most here. If married friend stays with his wife, single friend could be out a set of friends and get her heart broken, too, especially if she’s been led to believe they have a future. She’s probably not innocent, either, though, given what you’ve said about how much time the two have been spending together. That is a two way street.

          • this

            Totally agree. The troublesome feelings only come up when you’ve already crossed a line in terms of emotional or physical intimacy, in my opinion.

          • Anon

            To more directly answer the questions posed: Yes, I think you can “get rid of” feelings like this by redirecting your focus on your committed relationship, though that is the harder path than ditching it for whatever feels good now. And no, I don’t think feelings like this are always real. I think that the combination of feeling you don’t get enough attention from your partner, combined with the focused attention of someone else, can create an intimacy that immediately feels better than your committed relationship because it comes without complications of history and, often, is entirely focused on you in your time of need.

      • Anon in Canada

        Here’s me, doing my best to be objective… current situation not withstanding…

        Several years ago, my husband and I both developed feelings for other people. As in, deep romantic feelings, beyond just crushes or sexual attraction.

        I am counting my lucky stars right now that we had the brains/heart/courage to come clean to each other about these feelings… and were able to forgive and accept them in each other. We talked and talked and talked and talked. That’s what got us through. It sucked, but our relationship is stronger because of it.

        Our relationships with these other people have become less “risky”, too… we never told them; the love and affection is now just a nice exciting undercurrent to a normal friendship; we made a pact that if either of us ever gets abducted by aliens, the other has our blessing to go for it.

        But if we hadn’t been at the same place at the same time — both infatuated with other people; what are the odds? — it could have been a very different story. There but for the grace of god, and all that.

    • Anon in Canada

      My thanks for all above the advice. It’s incredibly valuable to have objective outside perspectives on this, particularly from women whose judgment I’ve come to value so highly.

      Obviously I didn’t come off as particularly sympathetic here – irrationally angry about things that aren’t really important, considering – so your candour and “snark” are well deserved and very much appreciated.

      • Anonsensical

        I have to say, I do think you have a right to be upset. Friendships are important, and yours have just been all shaken up through actions beyond your control. Granted, the effect on your friendship might not be on the same scale as the effect on your friends’ marriage, but it’s still causing you pain.

      • Anon

        If you can’t tell from my posts above, I’m angry, too — at all three of them. I’m not a participant, and I’ve largely stayed out of it after voicing a very strong opinion, but this nonsense affects my life. Just keeping the secret is a burden on me. I’ve tried to get rational and realize that it isn’t really about me, but I can’t seem to shake the anger. I’m still working on it, though. Just want you to know you are not alone . . .

        • Anon in Canada

          Thanks, Anon and Anonsensical. I feel less crazy now.

          God, Anon, this m—f—ing sucks, doesn’t it?

          • Anon

            Yes, Canada, it really, really does. It has eaten at me for months and at times driven me to distraction. I’ve lost respect for three people in the process, and can’t admit or explain that to anyone. (I was told the cheating spouse “walks on water” the other day, and couldn’t respond.) They can’t figure their sh*t out and keep hurting one another, but I’m left feeling like a mean, judgmental person because I can’t just ignore their behavior and act like everything is okay. Plus, they all have someone to unload this on, but I have no one and keep this secret to both my personal and professional detriment (there are many layers here). I hope you and your husband can find a way to distance yourself from it while maintaining your friendships. It really isn’t your story or your fault, so if you can release yourself from it, you’ll be happier. As I’ve mentioned, I’m still working on that.

          • Anon in Canada

            Good lord, that sounds awful. I really, really wish you luck with that. I consider myself warned.

            Maybe the tack we’ll take is to refuse to discuss the situation with either party… just keep repeating “tell a counsellor” or “phone your employee assistance program” if it comes up.

  27. Kat

    I love me a good blazer. I wear a lot of them to work so I like to have a good “assortment” of them handy.

      • NOLA

        Well, except that she links to another blog. I probably wouldn’t post as Kat on this blog (it’s always nice to know that when I see Kat, it’s the official Kat), but I think she’s new here (see comment at the top of the next posting).

      • cfm

        1) I was joking. 2) really in blog ettiqutte world, you pick another name if your going to hyperlink to another blog under the name of the blog owner who also posts in the comments

  28. Sigh

    I need some hive support today. I think our second IVF cycle has failed (1st resulted in MC). I haven’t told my husband yet because that would somehow make my suspicions real.

    • Coalea

      1. Hugs to you!

      2. Please tell your husband so that you have someone IRL and not just online to lean on.

    • Been There

      {{{{hugs}}}}

      That really sucks. However, at the risk of blowing sunshine, you really don’t know until you test. I never made it to my beta. I took an HPT with my first cycle. It was negative (and so was my beta). My second cycle I *knew* failed — I had started my period and decided I was not stabbing sesame oil into my *ss for one day longer than I needed to, so I made the doctor draw the beta early. I didn’t even bother with an HPT. That cycle resulted in my first child. My last cycle I did an HPT 10 days after my HCG shot and it was positive (and accurate).

      So, I guess I temper the hugs with the advice of not reading anything into what your body is telling you and to wait for the test (whether you wait for your beta or take an HPT).

      I hope you are totally wrong!!!

  30. Two cents

    Ladies, my aunt is visiting this weekend and I need to purchase a bed/futon for her, which we will have in the living room. What is the best option? She is staying with us for 2 weeks and I want her to feel comfortable. What’s the best option between a day bed, a futon, or just buying a twin mattress and a simple frame?

    Also, if anyone has recommendations on where to buy a bed in Boston, please let me know. Thanks!

    • TCFKAG

      What are you doing with it when you are done with it? Do you need to store it or do you want to keep using it for something? If you’re just going to store it, I’d say your best option is probably just one of those metal twin frames with a basic twin mattress set, perhaps from Costco if you’re a member, or else from Ikea or one of the other mattress stores.

      If you want to continue to use it and its in the common area, I’d spring for a day bed over a futon…futons are so bloody uncomfortable.

      • Two cents

        Thanks ladies. After my aunt leaves, we will put the bed in our storage unit (which is large, so it will fit a bed). We don’t plan on having it in the living room long-term. We will probably go to Ikea, although I hate that it’s so far away from Boston….

        NOLA – I’ve had such bad lucks with air mattresses, but this looks intriguing. It doesn’t deflate during the night? And it’s seriously comfortable?

        • NOLA

          I’ve only had one experience with it and it was great. My friend had one and my (now) ex and I slept on it when we came back post-K to work on our house and stayed with him. We were both pretty large people at the time and we never had any problems with it deflating during the night. It was incredibly comfortable.

          • nona

            Spent a whole semester sleeping on an Aerobed (motorized inflatable bed). Mine was a twin, single layer. And it was pretty comfortable. And then rolled up to sleeping bag size for storage.

        • TCFKAG

          Okay, here’s what I’d do. I’d get a metal twin bed frame like this:

          http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=metal+twin+bed+frame&hl=en&biw=1424&bih=688&prmd=imvns&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.,cf.osb&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=7816861702147277143&sa=X&ei=JmvfT8iFJ-Sj6gGo8N27Cw&ved=0CKYBEPMCMAA#ps-sellers

          And then I’d track down a friend with a Costco membership and get a truck or van from a rental company or friend or wherever and go to Costco and buy a twin mattress and box spring. I really haven’t had great luck with Ikea mattresses and they aren’t THAT much cheaper, and the Costco in Everett is so much closer to Boston. But that’s just me.

    • Anne Shirley

      I find a good aerobed on one of their frames much more comfortable than a futon. If you can swing it, a folding screen to wall her off a bit would be very nice.

    • Bonviva

      Check out the Aerobed Sleep Basics Elevated Queen Bed from Amazon. My husband and I slept on one for several weeks while awaiting delivery of a new bed, and it was fine. You use your normal sheets on it. Amazon has other Aerobed products as well.

      • NOLA

        I should mention that I don’t know what brand my friend had and it might have been the Aerobed and not the Coleman. It was so fabulous, he named it…

      • Flamingo

        I visited some friends who had the Aerobed, and it seemed to be very good quality. The model they had was also raised and did not deflate at night. I myself have a middle of the road Coleman bed, which serves well. When I used to buy the cheap Target, or no-name brand ones I was always disappointed, so we invested a little more this time.

      • Bonviva

        The Aerobed I mentioned above has an electric pump and inflates in a snap. When you’re finished using the bed, it’s easy to deflate it, put it in its storage bag, and take it to your storage space.

    • Nonny

      Lots of good bed suggestions, but just another thought. I don’t know what your house setup is, but if you don’t have one already, have you considered getting a very cheap screen that she can put up in front of the bed so she can have a little privacy from people walking through the living room? It might be something to think about if she is sleeping in your main living area.

    • Two cents

      Lots of good bed suggestions, but just another thought. I don’t know what your house setup is, but if you don’t have one already, have you considered getting a very cheap screen that she can put up in front of the bed so she can have a little privacy from people walking through the living room? It might be something to think about if she is sleeping in your main living area.

  31. oclg

    Not only did the first motion I read today show a complete lack of understanding of the function of commas in a list, a few pages later a sentence ended in 3 exclamation marks. Just needed to share.

    • no longer "job hunting"

      Wait you, mean that is not correct? I’m, so confused!!!

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