Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Metallic silk-blend georgette blouse

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Anna Sui Metallic silk-blend georgette blouseLove this blouse! The bow at the top, the puffy sleeves, and most of all, the lovely, abstract pattern. I’d skip the leather skirt that Net-a-Porter styled it with but keep the ruby-red pumps — fabulous. The blouse is $340. Anna Sui Metallic silk-blend georgette blouse

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected] with “TPS” in the subject line.


  1. Housecounsel :

    I kind of love the whole thing, head to toe! I wouldn’t be brave enough to wear the skirt, but I still love the look.

    • Anonymous :

      I totally agree. I know I’d walk taller wearing this. It’s got that, “yes I AM fabulous enough to pull this off” vibe about it. Love it!

    • Also love! Although I would put a camisole underneath, or at least a bra…

    • I love it, but can NOT aford it! $340 for a blouse. The manageing partner would never give me a raise if he found out I spend that kind of monies on a blouse !!!!!


  2. I like the shirt but it looks very sheer…

  3. My jaw just dropped. I love this blouse! Great find!

  4. I’m ordinarily not a fan of the be-bowed blouson, but I’ll give it up for Anna Sui.

  5. Ladies and Ellen, today is my 30th birthday. I’m still relatively new here and don’t have much company to celebrate, so thought I’d share with my virtual community! Happy Halloween!

    • BOO! (Happy birthday!)

    • Equity's Darling :

      Yay! Birthdays! I love birthdays! Many happy returns!

    • Always a NYer :

      Happy Halloween birthday!!! Yay for 30 =)

    • Happy Birthday! Welcome to your 30’s. IMHO, the 30’s are, or for some of us, were, great. So are the 40’s. Embrace the birthdays, and may yours be wonderful.

    • TREAT + Happy birthday!

    • Boston bound :

      Happy birthday Monday! The 30s are a wonderful time in life, and I’m definitely the most secure, confident, and happy that I’ve ever been. Enjoy the day!

    • Happy Birthday, Monday! I just turned 30, too, and so far it’s been pretty good. It’s a scary milestone, but there’s also something really liberating about it.
      If you’re new to NYC, and you don’t already have plans but want to do something really festive — head down (or up) to the Village for the Halloween Parade. It’s awesome, and if you wear a costume and get to the start of the parade at 6 30 or so, you can even march in it.
      Have a great day :)

    • Happy Birthday! Hope the next year is wonderful for you! :)

      • Why is Monday’s post addressed to “Ladies and Ellen.” What is the ongoing Ellen joke about?

    • Happy birthday Monday. The 30s are great.

      I love this shirt but am over the whole sheer thing.

    • MaggieLizer :

      Happy birthday!

    • Happy birthday! I hope you have a fantastic day!!!

    • Happy birthday! I have two friends with October 31 birthdays and they are both just the most fantastic people – you’re in great company. I hope you have a wonderful day! PS – “Ladies and Ellen” is pretty hilarious :)

    • Happy birthday!

    • A Regular Lurker :

      Oh, happy birthday!!! You’re one of my favorite virtual people (after Ellen, of course).

  6. Equity's Darling :

    I love that blouse!

    Does anyone have any suggestions for “natural” deodorants? I’ve stopped using traditional anti-perspirant, and started using Tom’s, which I find does not work the whole day.

    I can handle the feeling of dampness, since I get that it’s a deodorant not anti-perspirant, but I find it does not eliminate the smell particularly well, and I’d sort of like my deodorant to do that. So…suggestions?

    Also, many thanks to those who gave some suggestions for our articling student Christmas skit- I’m going to bring them up to the student group and see what everyone says!

    • Do you use the Tom’s stick, or roll-on? I tried the stick and wasn’t impressed, but the roll-on works great for odor (for me).

      • Equity's Darling :

        I’ll look into that- since I saw the roll-on in the store and then went for the stick. Thanks!

    • I found the Tom’s stick to be about as effective as rolling an unhappy cat against my underarms. The “magic crystal” or whatever rock thing was similarly useless.

      Kiss My Face Liquid Rock deodorant has been slightly more effective, but gives off a strange not-quite-metallic-not-quite-plastic(???) scent after a while.

      I gave up and am back to using regular aluminum-containing deodorant on weekdays. Might have to try the Tom’s roll-on.

      • Equity's Darling :

        See, rolling an unhappy cat against my underarms was my next plan of action, so you’ve totally nixed that…darn. (honestly, the visual for that made me laugh more than was reasonable)…

        I’ll see if I can find Kiss My Face in Canada :)

        • In Toronto it’s available at Ambrosia and Big Carrot, and I think Whole Foods, and I think (THINK!) Shopper’s Drug.

          • Equity's Darling :

            I’m out West, but I’ll check out Shoppers here to see it they carry it- thanks for the tip!

          • I think Shopper’s and maybe Pharmasave have it. I know I’ve seen it around at drug store type places.

    • The Trader Joe’s natural deodorant is better than Tom’s.

      • Equity's Darling :

        I’m in Canada, and we are living a sad TJ-free existence up here, but I appreciate the tip for the next time I’m down in the States.

    • Try rubbing a lemon wedge or using vinegar in lieu of deodorant. I don’t do this myself, but have a couple friends who do and they never seem to smell.

      • Some people just don’t smell…. my mum doesn’t use anything, ever. Ah, to have her body chemistry.

    • This sounds gross, but isn’t. For two years, I have used milk of magnesia (the plain kind, not the mint kind) and it works perfectly! I always had BO problems and since I started on MCM, they’re gone (including taking me through two hot and humid Texas summers). Just put some on each hand, apply, and let dry while you brush your teeth or something. And you can buy it with your health savings account $$$.

      I also use it on my feet in the summer to keep my dress shoes from smelling like stinky feet.

      • Equity's Darling :

        What is this “health savings account” all the Americans speak of? I saw lots of talk about it during the last “wallet/budget” post by Kat, and I just did not understand.

        We really don’t have that in Canada, as far as I know at least. I don’t think “health saving” is a big concern up here for most people.

        I’ll attempt both the milk of magnesia and lemon/vinegar this weekend (where I won’t offend my entire office should they fail brutally…).

        • You can annually choose the amount you estimate you’ll spend on non-doctory healthy things (over the counter drug store medicine, glasses, dental surgery, etc.) and that amount is not taxed, since it is for healthcare. It’s use or lose, so at the end of the year, many people are rushing to catch up their reality spending to their estimate spending, especially if there was a big expense you expected but didn’t get around to (surgery)…

          • Technically the “use or lose it” is health care flex spending. A Health Savings Account is a similar account, except you don’t lose it at the end of the year, you are only eligible if you have a high deductible health plan, and it exists as a savings account the individual has control over. Basically, they are tax savings vehicles incorporated into our tax code so you can use pre-tax money to pay for health related items.

            Also, as of last year you can’t use either to by over the counter medications. That applies to Advil, allergy meds and the like. I’m not sure about milk of magnesia.

          • Blonde Lawyer :

            It actually includes all heath care expenses including doctors office visit copays, etc. Unless I’m confusing flex spending with Health Spending accounts. Currently, you can’t buy over the counter medication with an FSA account unless you have a prescription from your doctor and order it through the pharmacist.

          • What you describe is a flexible spending account, not a health savings account. You can deposit to health savigns accounts at any time and the money rolls over, but you can only use them in conjunction with a high deductible plan.

        • I have a health spending account- essentially, if your drug/dental plan doesn’t use up all of your “credits” allocated to you by your work, you will have money left in your healthcare spending account. For example, we can choose a 70% prescription/drug coverage that will leave you with more leftover “flex” credits for your account. Then I use the account for things like prescription sunglasses.
          If you have a benefits package I bet you have it- ask someone at your firm. It is a great way to get glasses and massages!

          • Equity's Darling :

            Our plan is set up so we have $X for various things, at 100% coverage, so $X for anything to do with eyes (I can get contacts, prescription glasses be they sunglasses or regular), $X for supplementary stuff (like naturopaths, acupuncture, massage therapy, physio etc.), $X for prescription drugs, $X for orthotics, etc

            So, I don’t think I have the option of re-allocating, I just get $X/year to spend on various things- including glasses and massages already.

            It’s obviously a pretty sweet deal, which I why I never think about the alternatives.

          • That’s like our plan too- but we still get this extra ‘leftover’ account.

    • Soapwalla on Etsy makes a good one. It is a frosting consistency and comes in a tub.

    • While not natural, Certian-Dri is great and you only need to apply it every 3 days, so it would cut down on chemical exposure.

      • re: CertainDri :

        I think CertainDri is great for special occasions (when you absolutely need to not sweat), but I think it is filled with tons of chemicals. My unscientific guess is that putting CertainDri on every 3 days is just as bad, if not worse, than using regular deodorant.

    • I use the unscented roll-on crystal kind. Absolutely love it. Although it does sting a bit if I put it on right after shaving.

    • Not sure if you’d consider this “natural”, but it’s what I use. Just deodorant and not aluminum:

    • I’ve tried almost every aluminum-free and/or natural deodorant on the market. After much trial and error, my favorites are:
      Alvera Aloe and Almond Deodorant;
      Nivea Pure & Natural Action;
      Body Shop DeoDry;
      Bourjois (can’t remember the name, but it’s aluminum and paraben free)

      I’ve tried the Milk of Magnesium and that works pretty well, as does diluted magnesium oil (but that irritated my underarms a bit).

      What I found was key was fully stopping using regular antiperspirants… I can’t remember where I read it, and I am about to provide a really unscientific explanation, but basically there is a transition period where you will probably smell a bit more rank, and the temptation will be to blame it on the deodorant and go back to your deo/antiperspirant, but if you persevere your body chemistry adjusts and the deodorants work much better.

    • girl in the stix :

      It takes a while (about a month) for your natural bacteria to balance out after using chemical deodorants. And you have to forego them completely for that length of time. For a couple of weeks, I suggest washing your underarms several times a day (or use something like babywipes) and reapplying Toms or whatever. I use a deodorant soap, which doesn’t seem to alter pit habitat. Before I went ‘pausel, I would have to freshen up more often during my period. I very seldom notice any odor, even after workouts–and neither does my husband, who has a very sensitive smeller!

  7. WANT.

  8. It’s the skirt I’m in love with – but I can’t find it. Any ideas, Kat?

    • Always a NYer :

      I’m with you, it’s the skirt in this outfit that I love. Pretty sure this is the one pictured:


    • The skirt pops up on Net-a-Porter when I click through. It’s Kelly Bergin.

    • White House, Black Market has a similar skirt (black, shiny, and full) at a lower price point.

  9. Just for fun :

    Do you ladies have fashions that you just can’t stand? For me, I hate khakis and cords. Maybe it’s me wanting to bust out my suits in my business casual workplace but those are two fashions I refuse to wear. Also, I hate blatant logos and label wh*ring.

    What fashions drive you crazy?

    • It’s possible that there’s someone out there, but thus far, I have never seen a single person look good in khakis.

      I can’t stand sweater dresses and can’t wait for the trend to be over.

      • I have to laugh when people say that they can’t wait for a certain trend to be over. I can understand if an individual doesn’t like booties, skinny jeans, pussy-bow blouses or sweater dresses, but there are so many other options available in the stores, that one can pass up that trend if they don’t care for it. But what about those who do like the trends? Should those choices dissappear from the stores and no longer be available to them because someone else doesn’t like it?

        • Yes, because clearly I have sufficient power over the marketplace to make your favorite dress disappear from stores. Way to ignore the obvious meaning of a comment and extrapolate it to the stupidest conclusion. Gold star for you.

          • And some people take rhetorical questions personally… and put on their cranky pants this morning.

          • I can’t wait for the cranky pants trend to be over. ;)

          • Yup, merely rethorical. But I’ll take that gold star, E.

          • It’s possible that there’s someone out there, but thus far, I have never seen a single person look good in cranky pants.

      • I like sweater dresses, but they don’t like me. A lesson I seem to have to learn over and over. Sigh.

    • I, too, can’t stand khakis. Never, never, never.

    • Well, technically khaki and corduroy are fabrics used in several types of clothing. What exactly annoys you about them?

    • Heh, mine would be the blouses with the bows on them- like this one! Don’t really have a reason, just think they look weird and fussy.

      Oh, and also, 3/4 sleeves on outerwear, particularly winter coats.

      • Makeup Junkie :

        I dislike most 3/4 sleeves. It always strikes me as…shrunken.

        • Blonde Lawyer :

          I love “shrunken” blazers. My friend hates them and makes fun of me every time I wear one.

    • Super high heels. Uncomfortable, impractical, and most women who wear them can’t really walk in them. I’d love for shorter heels to come back in so I can stop wearing flats almost every day.

      • And super-high platform everything! I can barely find a nice pair of basic pumps that don’t try to add an inch under the ball of my feet (which makes me feel like I’m going to topple over at any minute) anymore.

        • SF Bay Associate :

          I saw “In Time” over the weekend. Amanda Sigfreid (sp) spends about a quarter of the movie flat-out running, and/or climbing or jumping,, in crazy high heels – probably 6″ heels with 2″ platforms. It was ridiculous.

        • Yeah, I don’t get the maga-platform thing. I have this image in my head of the year 2022 and every twenty something woman looking at a picture of herself with these gigantic looking feet and going “what was I thinking?”

    • I actually like khakis on other people, but I have yet to find a pair that fit me. I can’t figure out why, I’ve tried on dozens of different brands, but those basic, cotton khaki-type pants never fit. They are always too tight in the waist, or too short in the stride, or too short in the legs, something is always wrong. It’s like a conspiracy against me in the garment industry. I visualize workers behind false walls in stores (ala Truman) laughing as a try on various pairs of khakis, only to be disappointed once again.

    • Skinny jeans. They can DIAF for all I care.

    • I also dislike khaki pants on women, except if they’re a uniform or equivalent.
      However, I believe there was a time in my youth when putting on my khakis was “dressing up.”

      • Oh yes. I don’t mind khaki pants on other people, but when I try them on it’s “Yay, I’m a 21-year-old waitress again!”

    • SAlit-a-gator :

      Tweed shorts. If you’re wearing tweed it must be cold, if its cold why are you wearing shorts ?!?! Needless to say, tweed shorts drive me crazy.

      • Open-toed boots drive me crazy for the same reason. If it’s cold enough to need boots, your toes should be covered. I don’t get it.

    • Fur vests. I’m sorry, but Sonny Bono was never and never will be my fashion muse.

  10. Forced Halloween participation update…

    My boss, after telling us he was bringing in some sort of automated pitching machine and expecting us to bat, didn’t show up for work today. At 10 AM, we got an email from him saying “Oops. I forgot I was working from home today. I’ll also be taking this afternoon off.”

    • Diana Barry :

      Bunkster, your boss is a trip. I hope you are keeping all of these comments in a “Crazy File”!

      Anyone have a suggestion for a Halloween costume using regular clothes? I am pregnant but not super pregnant, and it is cold so no belly painting! :)

      • I’m wearing basically what I would wear any Monday (black pants, grey tee, plaid jacket) and a pair of devil horns.
        I did see a pretty cute guy at the coffee kiosk wearing chinos and a button up shirt unbuttoned just enough to see the Superman logo.

      • Orange shirt = pumpkin? Or olive green shirt, with a round piece of felt on your belly, makes you the olive, baby the pimento?

      • I decided to be Velma from scooby doo, but as a grown up. So I am in an orange turtle neck sweater and a tan pencil skirt (red mini did not read office appropriate to me). Helps that I have the same bob and black glasses that she does.

      • Headband with kitty cat ears and tail made out of a cut off leg of tights stuffed with paper. Eyeliner whiskers optional.

      • My whole office decided to be garden gnomes today because it’s pretty easy to do with regular clothes. You just need solid colour pants and shirt, boots, and a cone of red paper to make a hat. I went for the beard, too, but the woman in the next cubicle over is a very cute lady gnome with a solid colour shirt and skirt and painted on freckles.

        • I’m wearing a suit and vampire fangs and have a sticker on my jacket that says “Bloodsucking Lawyer”.

      • Praxidike :

        Have your husband dress as Santa, and you can be the “naughty elf”! One of our friends did this and used the picture for their Christmas card one year and it was awesome.

    • So what are you wearing?

      • The only Red Sox-themed item I own is striped tank that I wear to bed. So I’m wearing that with skinny jeans, wedges and a cardigan.

    • What????! Passive-aggressive BS from hell. I’m so sorry.

    • ROFL. Your boss reminds me of an old boss. I don’t remember the exact circumstances, but my old boss pulled something similar (I think he said he was going home because he was “sick, but not exactly sick”.) When I told my husband the story, his immediate reaction was, “I bet he was hung over”. :)

  11. Also in Academia :

    I just moved to the North Atlanta area and I am looking for a hairstylist. I am in the Chamblee/Dunwoody area, but if the haircut is good I would happily travel to salons in areas including Perimeter, Decatur/Emory area, Brookhaven, or VA Highlands. I’d prefer to avoid Buckhead. As my name states, I’m in academia, so no $200 haircuts for me — I’d like to find someone whose fee is $60 or less (not including the tip). Any ideas/recommendations? Thanks!

    • James Madison Salon is great in Midtown; quite a few stylists in the $60 range. Kristy is great.

    • Rose in Bloom :

      Emma at Grow Salon in Decatur is great and listens to what you want. I pay $40 (not including tip) for a cut. Grow’s Yelp reviews are pretty thorough and give you an idea of their stylists and hair type specialities.

  12. Threadjack –
    Can I ask a possibly dumb question? (yes, in addition to that one). I have been at a smallish firm for about six years and am looking to make a transition to an in-house position. I have begun re-doing (and doing and doing…) my resume and I am uncertain if it should be more corporate in nature? or law-firmy in nature?

    Also any general tips about how to go about this process or job-hunting/transition resources would be most appreciated!

    • Some Ideas :

      * check out the ACC website (wwwDOTaccDOTcom) and go to some of their events. they also have a job search engine.
      * if you think it is safe, ask your partners or clients if they know of anyone who is looking, or to keep you in mind
      * does your local bar have an inhouse group?
      * you might consider having several inhouse resumes: one for a generalist position (discusses your broad experience) and one for each specialist area you qualify for

  13. Vent of the day :

    I’m part of the snow ravaged North East. I had a 9 am hearing scheduled today an hour from my house. The court is in one of the worst hit parts of the state. All the schools are closed but court was till open until . . . 8:56 am when they decided to close. Everyone had to drive there anyway by that time. All their staff had showed up. But, there was no heat or power which is why they closed. Wished they had done it earlier! Grrrr.

  14. Charity Recommendations? :

    For wedding non-registry, I am looking for recommendations for U.S. nonprofits that are worthy of contributions and would appeal to people of diverse political and religious persuasions.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      Ronald McDonald House?

    • just Karen :

      Feeding America
      United Way
      Big Brothers and Sisters
      Amnesty International (possibly too political for what you are looking for)
      Donors Choose (local schools get project funding)
      Kiva (actually a microloan group, but a gift certificate is great here because the recipient gets to choose which individual or group actually gets their money)
      American Cancer Society
      Easter Seals

      Also look for local food banks, community gardens, etc…
      If you want something more specific, I’m sure I could give you the names of more, just let me know a little about what you’re looking for.

      • Charity Recommendations? :

        Thanks (and thanks to Blonde Lawyer as well). I’m looking for a diverse list because our guests are of all sorts of political persuasions and from all over the country. Most are Jewish, but not all. I know of a few places I like (gay marriage in U.S., women’s marital rights in Israel), but I would also like to welcome gifts to less charged organizations. Really anything is great. Another quirk is one of my close relatives has a chronic illness, but hasn’t told many people about it, so I don’t feel comfortable adding a charity that supports research in that area because it may “out” this person, or at least make them worry that it will.

        • Is there a local research center that does research into your relative’s illness that you could donate to? That might be general enough without “outing” the person, if that’s what you want to do. (FWIW–I’ve got a chronic illness and kept it quiet for years. Your sensitivity is much appreciated, I’m sure. I know I would have appreciated the tact!) Is there a common university for you and your future spouse–maybe a scholarship fund? Or a local group that provides scholarships for higher education for local underprivileged students?

        • If your city has a Jewish federation (UJA in Toronto, CJA in Montreal, for example), that’s an appealing and not very political option to support.

          A+ on supporting women’s marital rights in Israel by the way :) (I’m assuming you’re referring to agunot?)

          • Also, I just discovered that there’s another E floating around (above!) so I guess I need to find a new anonymous name..

        • What about Lev L’achim? They rescue Jewish women who are abused in Arab villages.

      • This might be a little more picky than necessary, but United Way can be a little bit weird. I’ve definitely seen them come up in odd political issues before. They’re generally more local – that is, the group in New York supports different causes then the group in Philly, but in some cases, some of the local groups support groups that can be controversial, for example, the Boy Scouts or Planned Parenthood. (see what I did there?)

        Although I’ve not had any real concerns about the ones in my area, I generally avoid them for that reason. I wouldn’t be offended if someone put it on a registry, though, but I’d probably look to donate somewhere else.

    • I love the list of lower-profile nonprofits that Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times recommended last year: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/opinion/19kristof.html?ref=nicholasdkristof

      Most (all?) of the nonprofits he lists are non-denominational, and I don’t see any of them being politically controversial. I donated to a couple of them last year in lieu of giving Christmas gifts, and FWIW I found the Nurse-Family Partnership to be the most well-received.

      • Nonprofit Lawyer :

        I like the suggestion of going with a low-profile nonprofit, but I would suggest that you make sure they are still up to date with their nonprofit status if the tax deduction is important for contributions. A lot of smaller organizations were revoked this year for not keeping current records with the IRS. You can check out a nonprofit by Googling “Publication 78” and then looking up the nonprofit in the IRS database to see if they are current. New nonprofits may not show up yet. This is not legal advice, but is just a suggestion.

    • Doctors Without Borders
      Your local humane society

    • I would stick to more grassroots/local charities, as a lot of the larger charities waste a lot of money on overhead costs and the money may never reach the people in need. Are there any charities specific to your hometown/current local area? I’m thinking places like the local battered woman’s shelter, other homeless shelters that are part of small, local organizations, etc.

      • Overhead spending is not automatically waste. It makes me crazy when people assume this — it’s incredibly short-sighted to expect non-profits not to make the kinds of investments in infrastructure, training and support that every other institution makes. It’s true that some organizations are wasteful (and for the record, size has nothing to do with it — many small organizations are highly inefficient) but overhead spending, in and of itself, is not an indication of this. If an organization is spending an outsize amount on fundraising, you should be wary, but other costs are much trickier to mark as waste or not.

        • Nonprofit Lawyer :

          This. Smaller nonprofits can actually have higher overhead because fixed administrative costs can be a larger part of their budget. Also, think about whether the overhead is being spent wisely. Having paid staff, which drives up overhead, can be a lot better than having an organization run by a bunch of unsupervised volunteers that don’t know what they are doing.

        • THIS. The trend of ranking nonprofits by how much of a dollar they give away and how much they keep for costs makes me very annoyed. Like any organization, nonprofits also benefit from serious investments in attracting and retaining really good personnel, infrastructure and systems that will serve them long term. Look at the impact that nonprofit is having instead to determine if you want to give them. The work that nonprofits do is incredibly important and while many nonprofit employees do this work because they are passionate about it, passion does not help pay student loans or bills :-) That said, definitely do your homework on the impact that the nonprofit has had but please don’t just go by the overhead/program ratio!

          To the OP, if you are looking for a nonprofit that will appeal to everyone, try www.donorschoose.org – online donors can view requests from teachers in their communities for supplies, funds for field trips etc. and pay for them. Most public school teachers end up paying for many of these costs out of their own pockets so you are not only helping the students but also the teachers.

      • Anonymous :

        There is an org that ranks nonprofits by various things including how much of donations goes to the mission. I can’t search for it now but I bet some googling would pull it up.

        • Guidestar.

          I’d also recommend
          The Nature Conservancy
          Ama Foundation

    • Makeup Junkie :

      I don’t think you can go wrong with the International Red Cross/Crescent

      • Actually, their refusal to allow a red Star of David makes them quite controversial among Jews and Israelis. (the OP mentioned that many of her guests are Jewish.)

    • Heifer International – not limited to the US, but you can create a wedding registry there so that people can choose to buy a goat in your honor, buy chickens in your honor, etc. It’s very cool and they are a very good and effective charity.

      • I love this, and second the recommendation. My sister did this for my niece’s first birthday. I bought “her” a basket of ducklings.

      • When my fiancé gave me my engagement ring, he would not let me buy him anything parallel (watch etc). So I bought him my own dowry on Heifer’s website: two goats and six chickens! We are older and he had made many a joke over the preceding years about bartering camels with my father (funny both because my father’s permission was so not an issue and because my fiancé is from the Middle East), so it hit just the right note.

    • If you are a lawyer, I’d suggest the American Bar Association’s Rule of Law Initiative. http://apps.americanbar.org/rol/

    • How about your local library? (Not a librarian, I promise, but it strikes me as being very non-political.)

      • Anonymous :

        Cookies for Kids Cancer. They started off as a small group of dedicated parents about 4 years ago. They have grown, but still have very low overhead, and proceeds go to support funding for pediatric cancer research, which is sorely underfunded.

    • Suggestion-
      Try to find some small charities who would REALLY appreciate the donations. A lot of charities get by on less than $25k a year, so even a few hundred dollars makes a difference. I run one as a labor of love (www.educatingafricaschildren.org) and know how much of a difference every donation makes.

    • Anonymous :

      Peace corps partnerships! Projects that volunteers are co-sponsoring with local partners in their villages. It’s fun because the donor can choose the specific project, which are really varied- maternity centers, girls leadership camps, classrooms. Great projects, and all the money goes directly to the project, which is vetted by national headquarters.

  15. Anon for this... :

    Hi ladies, long time lurker and first time poster.

    You all give great advice, so I am hoping that you can give me some guidance. I am a newer attorney and have been practicing for a year and a half working for a small firm in the Northeast, for a partner doing plaintiff-side civil litigation. Mostly, this is the area of law that I want to do, but I am WAY underpaid. Because of the economy, I took the job at a low salary. I am making a pittance and working my tail off (which would be fine if I was being fairly compensated). I am now becoming bitter and worried about not making the money I should be. I am good at my job and my boss has said nothing but really good things about my work product. However, the subject of a raise has come up and he has repeatedly told me that he “can’t afford it” and that I can only “eat what I kill.” The firm does not seem to be in economic distress and hired a new associate months ago.

    I recently saw a positing for an associate with my experience level for a larger local firm- but on the defense side. Salary is presumably better, but I can’t find data on it online. Should I apply and risk the boss finding out? I am worried about having my boss find out that I am looking- and especially if I end up not getting the job. Also worried about leaving and having a big blow up with the boss about it- it is a small bar and I don’t want a bad rep. Sorry for the babbling- I have been stressing about this for months! THANK YOU! :)

    • I was recently in a similar situation.

      First, do you want to do defense-side work? If it is absolutely not what you want to do, are you willing to risk the downsides for a better salary? You have a salary coming in now, and if it is enough to cover your needs, you might not want to apply if you think you would dislike the work.

      Second, if you do apply, mention in your cover letter that your job search is confidential. This SHOULD be enough to make it clear that your current firm doesn’t know you are looking, although there is always a risk that someone will blab.

      Third, don’t worry at this point about the boss blowing up when/if you leave. All you can control is yourself, although trust me, I fully understand the concern about reputation in a small bar! However, if you are professional and everyone who’s ever worked with you knows you are professional, you should be able to protect yourself in the long run. You have to put your career first–no one else will.

    • I’m not in a similar position, but in a position similar enough to sympathize. I agree with goirishkj’s advice, and I do think that you should go for it. While there are a few nutballs out there, in most cases, bosses understand that people have to make the best decisions for themselves.

      On your job, though, should you stay, maybe you can discuss restructuring your pay scale in some way- for example, instead of a straight salary, you would get an hourly rate or a percentage of the take? My firm is somewhat similar, but does a combo of hourly, flat fee, and contingency work, and I get paid a base salary with a bonus for hours. I’m not entirely crazy about it (since it means that I get nothing for working contingency cases), but I think it’s probably the best thing possible in this type of circumstance. Something that goes a little bit more towards the “eat what you kill” mantra might fit better with your boss’s allegations that they “can’t afford it.” Good luck!

      • Anon for this... :

        Thanks ladies! I don’t know if I would like the other side, since all I have experience with is the plaintiffs’ side. But, I quickly adapt, and who knows, I might like it. At this point, I just hate feeling taken advantage of and I am concerned about being able to pay off $$$ in student loans and provide for my family at the same time. I wish I could ignore the money side of it, but I know that for the time that I put in (billing 2000 hours a year- yes, that is my “minimum” set by my boss), I can’t ignore the feeling that I am not being paid what I am worth.

        Thanks again!

    • Anonymous :

      You may want to look around to try to get salary info on other positions compared to yours. My understanding is that in that area of law salaries are lower in general, until you have enough work to do well by “eating what you kill”. That’s what I’ve seen with friends in that practice area

  16. Anon for interviewing :

    I just had a phone interview that lasted 10 minutes and consisted of the interviewers telling me about their practice and asking me if I had any questions, and then saying they’d get back to me soon. The end.
    Is this weird? Other interviews I’ve had have went much longer, and interviewers asked about things on my resume, my future plans, etc. I am guessing that they already made their decision about me, either way, and the interview was just a double-check that I’m not crazy and that I am interested in their practice group. I definitely am interested, so here’s hoping they liked my resume so much they didn’t feel the need to ask anything!
    Oh well. Happy Monday, everyone.

    • anon for this :

      I had an hour long in person interview, that I had to take the day off of work to go to (because it was a reasonable distance away and in the middle of the day) that basically only consisted of the hiring partner telling me about the firm, including nuances like the protocol for getting reimbursed for parking fees when you travel to court. FWIW I was called back for a second interview.

    • I’ve had 2 interviews like this and both times it was exactly as you say – they had already decided to hire me and it was just a formality. Hope it works just the same way for you!

  17. Ladies, can I bring up my favorite news story of the day? Kim Kardashian is getting a divorce, after 72 days of marriage. Apparently, she and her husband couldn’t agree on where to live after the wedding…

    • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler :

      I remember seeing a commercial or something where she said she had been planning her wedding for her entire life and he said something to the effect that she could have slid anyone into the role of groom. That seemed like an accurate assessment of the situation.

    • Makeup Junkie :

      what’s the protocol here? Do they have to return all their endorsement deal money?

    • see this: http://blindgossip.com/?p=34635

    • I remember reading that she said her idol is Elizabeth Taylor – guess she meant that very literally.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      But of course, it’s *gay* marriage which will ruin the sanctity of marriage. A divorce by a heterosexual “couple,” with a bride that made nearly $18m off their wedding, barely 2 months after getting married, doesn’t discredit the institution in the least. I guess the deal was they had to stay married at least until the E! 2-part wedding special was broadcast. Kim’s fairytale wedding my left foot. That whole family makes me sick.

      • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler :

        Love. (Because FB’s “Like” is not strong enough for this comment.)

        • Makeup Junkie :

          “But of course, it’s *gay* marriage which will ruin the sanctity of marriage.”

          Do you mind if I repeat this every time a “celebrity” gets hitched for big bux and then gets divorced?

      • I like how, according to MSN, it is all Kris’ fault. He’s not “working” enough to suit her during his downtime from the NBA lock out. She doesn’t appreciate the humor he aims at her sisters (which, presumably is not the first time she’s heard it, right?)

        Did she just figure that since his name started with a K it would all work out?

      • Equal Rights :

        I agree 100% and couldn’t have said it any better. All those people on their high horses b1tch1ng about how terrible gay marriage is, while meanwhile this sort of $hite is completely ok and gets glamourized. Obviously, as you can see, I feel strongly about this. So strongly in fact that we (as in SO and I) will not get married until gay marriage is legal in the US (our current country of residence).

    • Not a big fan of Kim, but I think this is probably an issue for most couples with dual careers. My husband and I have both had to make major sacrifices in our careers so that the other one could pursue a unique career opportunity. My guess is that the dilemmas are just going to get harder the higher we climb on each of our respective career paths.

      • Yes, AND most of us manage to work through challenging situations with our partner b/c we value our relationships (as you and your husband did).

        • Yes, sometimes I just wish it didn’t have to be so hard (it can certainly strain even a good marriage).

    • a nonny miss :

      love twitter for these things:

      William Henry Harrison’s presidency. #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage

    • You suppose she’ll give the engagement ring back?

  18. Wonderful blog!

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