Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Pouf Sleeve Equestrian Jacket with Patch

178 Comments

1. Looks lovely. But I’m always worried about linen crumpling:( plus this looks like a ‘ Kate moss can rock it but AN can’t ‘ item to me.

2. Gorgeous! Really gorgeous!
   I would wear with navy wide leg pants, or with black and white and maybe red shoes. I think with other browns, though, given the linen fabric, it would be a little too much like lawyer safari. Really great pick!

   1. just got a good Monday morning giggle at “lawyer safari” — riding camels off into the sunset trailing post-its with a blackberry charger dangling from the saddlebags — yikes, this will be a long week at this rate!

      I like the navy suggestion — either with white or cream underneath, or as Ru suggests below, an orange or tangerine could look fabulous!

3. Gorgeous jacket.

   Threadjack — lawyer corporettes: when you are hiring an intern or a young lawyer and you ask for a writing sample, what do you look for? Obviously, there should be a lack of grammatical errors, typos, and bluebooking errors. But beyond that, what makes a writing sample stand out (in a good or bad way)?

   1. For me, the writing sample should have a good, strong, coherent and sophisticated argument. Too many samples are well-written but not as well-argued.

      1. I would not look for a sophisticated argument from an intern. Obviously it would be nice, but the odds of a 1L or 2L having had the opportunity to craft a sophisticated argument are slim. I just look for something clear and coherent, written in the active voice, that flows logically and that isn’t too long or too short. I think that a good writing sample will (with very few exceptions) be about 3-5 pages, and anyone who hands me something that is 30 pages, for instance, makes me feel like they couldn’t be bothered to edit their work into something I am actually going to read.

         1. I should clarify, I know that the writing sample will usually be from a legal writing class and the student will have no say over topic/structure etc. but in my experience the writing samples that stand out make their assigned argument effectively and convincingly instead of just going through the assigned steps.

         2. AIMS is exactly right – short and coherent. I don’t worry about the topic too much. Honestly, the cover letter and resume are also “writing samples” in a sense.

            If it’s for a 1L legal writing class, then I know the document has been written and re-written and revised a thousand times. In my office, we don’t have time to do that with our filings. I’d rather see something that’s not written for 1L class, like something written in a hurry, because that’s how you’ll be working here.

   2. I usually skim these, so I’m not paying too much attention to the argument, but will look for Bluebooking, grammar, coherence, sentence structure, ability to convey ideas in a clear and concise manner, etc. Your writing sample is a bit like your interview suit — it should show that you are all business and know what lawyers’ work product looks like. It’s not the place for fancy fonts or crazy adjectives.

      For basic “how to write like a lawyer” tips, I like Mark Herrmann’s curmudgeon guide to writing — it was an article long ago in Litigation Magazine, but I see he has a book out now, so if it’s in your library, it’s probably worth a look.

   3. How much attention do you pay to the topic of the writing sample? Does it make a difference to you if it is in the area that you’re hiring for?

      1. From someone who recently (I’m a new associate now) went through the giving a writing sample process, I think it would awful to pay attention to the topic. My writing sample was my 1L Legal Writing Course brief on a defamation issue (not my choice of topic). As a more corporate-oriented law student, I didn’t have a lot of legal writing opportunities and I would have been in a lot of trouble if my interviewers were making any judgments as to topic.

      2. Topic doesn’t matter to me – I recognize that I’m getting something that was written for another purpose.

   4. I’d look for the organization and coherence of the argument. Did you understand the arguments they were trying to make and how persuaded were you? Did their organization flow logically and aid in the overall readability of the piece?

   5. Good flow, thesis sentences, explanations of quotes, understanding the “real” issue and then answering it, and identifying other potential tertiary issues. In addition, I look for “voice”, which may or may not be there, because reading writing that has no panache makes me hurt.

   6. Thanks, all!

4. This jacket is beautiful…but I’m really not digging the elbow patches. For some reason, this jacket is summoning images of an orange top with a white floral print.

5. I like it but with the brown and the black both, I’d have trouble color-wise pairing it with anything other than black or brown tones.

6. Love the look! It’s completely out of my budget for something that doesn’t seem very versatile, though.

   Threadjack for DC Corporettes: Any recommendations for a financial advisor? I like to choose and manage my own investments, but am looking for someone I could sit down with once a year or so for a strategy / “am I on track?” session. TIA!

7. Good morning,
   My first comment here, although I’ve been following for quite a while. I hate to threadjack with my first, but thought you all might be able to advise me.

   I’m getting a picture taken for the firm’s website tomorrow, and need help with what to wear. It will be black and white, so wondering what color(s) would be best. I know much will depend on the background, but would assume that the photographer would adjust that based on what I was wearing. So black, taupe, navy, grey suit? Blouse/top…color won’t show obviously, but wondering if white would be too stark? If you have experience being photographed in black and white, I would appreciate any help!
   Thanks!

   1. I think there was some discussion on this awhile ago…however, I can say that I was photographed wearing a black jacket and white shirt and I think it is too stark (at least on me).

      Maybe try some outfits on and take digitals of yourself. Also, review other folks pics (although in my office there are so many men this didn’t really help-only three other women).

   2. FYI: my firm has black and white photos too and the background is the same so I wouldn’t wak in assuming that the photographer would adjust the background based on what you’re wearing.

      1. Good point, but in my small firm, the others are older pictures and some from a different photographer. I’m assuming it will be the standard neutral background, but hoping it can be adjusted…i.e., lighter or darker. But, again, good point. Maybe should take two jackets!

   3. https://corporette.com/2009/06/29/reader-mail-what-to-wear-for-a-corporate-photograph/

   4. I wore a sage green (almost taupe) suit and a cream silk knit shell, and it came out really well in black and white.

   5. Thanks, all. I just read the thread on corporate photographs and it was helpful. I will also think about my taupey suit and cream…seems like it would be less harsh and a better contrast with dark hair.

      Appreciate all the feedback!

      1. I wouldn’t do taupe-y. Most likely the background will be gray/mottled gray. Taupe will look like the same color as the background. So it will just look weird (unless you’re talking a dark taupe). Basically, think about tone. Pink is red mixed with white, so it is a lighter tone than red and would stand out if taken in black and white as two different colors. Royal Blue is the same tone as Red (think color wheel) so they will likely look similar in black and white. Caveat being that there are different filters a photographer could use to disinguish the two where one basically becomes a non-color…
         I wouldn’t wear red. I’m assuming the photographer will take in RAW and adjust later. It may be more difficult to smooth out blemishes and skin imperfections (since they are reddish) if you are wearing any red. If you wear navy, that would probably make it easiest to smooth those things out.
         Black is going to be black in black and white. Navy will be a dark gray (as will dark green, charcoal, dark brown, etc). Khaki will be medium gray.

   6. I wore a brown suit and cream top. I have blonde hair, and it turned out really well.

   7. what they told us was wear a solid color around the face but not white, wear more makeup than usual too

      1. Good call on wearing dark makeup. Avoid dark lipstick though which may look stark.

   8. My firm also has black/white photos, and I wore a gray suit with a light pink shirt and it turned out fab!

      1. Co-signed. I was going to suggest that gray and pink photograph very well in B&W.

   9. Lots of good ideas, thanks again! My preference is grey, but will take in a couple alternates I can use, depending on the background. I really dislike getting my picture taken, so this is oddly stressful for me…thanks for your help!

8. Love the jacket, but I worry about how poofs like that work with my line backer shoulders!

   Early threadjack (the subject of this weekend’s discussion with my SO)!

   Short version — when/how do you go about making a geographic/market move as a junior associate in big law?

   Long version (this is still very up in the air, but I’m a planner) — for very legitimate family reasons, SO wants to move closer to his hometown near Chicago. He’s got an opportunity to apply for something that would take him to Chicago, however if he applies and gets it, he can’t decline without some minor (possibly major) repercussions for his career track. We’re wondering how easy it would be for me to move as well. If he does apply for the job, I’d like to start broadly inquiring about positions, but I’m worried about coming off as flaky or unreliable if it’s something that I don’t follow through with.

   Basically — I don’t want to look like I’m just following my man around and I’m not serious about my career. I’m not sure how much of this is my ‘issue’ and how much of this is a legitimate worry.

   Any insights from those of you who did move for your SO’s job (or didn’t move) would be helpful — I’m presently struggling with the idea of not making my career the primary consideration in my life. Relationship-wise, I wouldn’t do this move for a ‘boyfriend’, and as a result, we’re discussing marriage a little more seriously than we usually do. We’ve been dating for over two years and both of us are a little gun shy, so it’s not really premature — I don’t think it’s an ultimatum, but it seems just…forced.

   Thoughts and advice are most welcome.

   Thanks!

   1. Actually, I’ve found that the “moving with your man” thing tends to work in your favor. There have been some earlier threads about firms that will only interview locally, and when I moved locations, I had far more interest once I was actually physically relocated compared with when I was looking remotely. Firms really want someone w/ connections to the area so that (1) you’ll accept an offer and (2) you’ll stay.

      As for the “broad inquiries” – that didn’t work so well for me. Although some firms entertained my inquiries, the truth is I didn’t get one single interview until I actually moved. This is not broadly true, I’ve had friends who were able to get new jobs cross-country remotely, but they didn’t get any interviews until they gave strong signals of their intention to move (e.g. told the firms that their SO/spouse had gotten a job at new location, took the bar for the new state, etc…)

      Your post seems to suggest that the bigger problem is not the actual moving, but whether you’re really as serious about the relationship as the move would suggest. For that, I’m afraid I have no suggestions.

      1. As someone who is currently looking for a job across the country, I agree that the moving for your man thing tends to work in your favor. I would definitely play it up, especially since he has family there.

         I would mention that, at least for very junior attorneys, the job market in Chicago is absolutely horrible. My school generally sends a lot of graduates into Chicago, but I only know of one or two people who have managed to get jobs in Chicago out of dozens who have been trying. And I mean people in the top ten percent, good extracurriculars and summer jobs, with strong ties to Chicago. If I were you I’d do some informational interviews in your field and try to get a feel for what the job market looks like starting now.

   2. I’ve done this for my boyfriend turned husband (at both stages of the relationship) and its worked out for the best each time. That being said, I might suggest waiting to see if he actually makes the move, then following after the fact. This gives you time to make sure he really makes the move, find a job yourself that you actually want, and do some personal soul searching to make sure its the right thing for you. It might result in a hopefully short period of long-distance, but Ive also done that twice and it also worked out for the best.

   3. I am also attempting to do the cross-country move and am the person who was told by one potential employer that they only interviewed local candidates.

      Frankly, the cross-country thing is rough, and I think it would be easier if I had a local address in the cities that I am targeting. One thing that is working well for me is networking. Tell everyone you know that you want to move and are looking for a job in Chicago. Look at your linkedin/facebook contacts. Email anyone in Chicago and tell them your plans. If you are targeting a certain firm/company, scour your contacts for any connections. Ask to do informational interviews.

      Lastly, write good cover letters. Try to address them to someone that you have a connection with (even if it is a remote one). Convince that person that you want to move, and tell them why you are moving (BTW I think it is totally fine to say that you are following an SO).

      1. I like the facebook suggestion. Do you know a way to search facebook by location? The only search option I am aware of seems to search account name.

         1. You can narrow by location once you have a name. For example, I have a law school contact who told me that his friend Mr. X worked at Company S. I knew that Mr. X. was an attorney. So, first I googled Mr. X attorney at Company S. It popped Mr. X’s full name up. Then I searched for Mr. X on facebook. Mr. X has a pretty common name, so once you get all search results for Mr. X, you can fileter by city. I do this for any potential contact I have so that I can get a flavor for who the person is. I think you also may be able to filter people by city when you are looking at friends of your friends.

   4. I would be hesitant to move for a b/f. I know you say you have discussed marriage, but I would still be cautious. If you do more there with him and some how it doesn’t work out between you two, what else will you have there? I remember one poster this weekend said she lived somewhere and then got divorced and now wants to move back to her old city. Just be careful about moving for a b/f. Although no one can know for sure what they would do in that situation, I wouldn’t make any significant life changes without a ring.

      1. Along those lines, I don’t know where you are in relation to Chicago, but would it be doable to be long distance for a while? My boyfriend (now fiance) moved with me after nearly two years of being long distance, and it was definitely the right choice for us. For me, I was really confident about our relationship in part because we had both been willing to commit to something serious since it took a lot of effort to maintain our relationship since we weren’t in the same city, and we did that for 2 years of school (although we lived together in the summer in between).

         If you tried it for a few months and felt like you were both very committed still, then you could start looking for jobs in Chicago.

   5. I would caution against saying that you’re moving for your boyfriend. A colleague of mine decided to come to our office instead of the office where she had spent her summer (law firm) and loudly told everyone it was because of her boyfriend. People rolled their eyes and she was seen as very flighty and not all that serious about her career. I think they’d have viewed it differently if she’d been engaged or married–especially since she was relatively young (26). All that said, I think it’s fine to list that as ONE of your reasons, just be sure to make up some others.

      1. would a graceful way around this be to refer to your boyfriend/significant other as your “partner”? while the OP and her SO are not engaged, they are certainly in a more serious relationship than the word “boyfriend” would imply – so saying “partner” would definitely communicate that seriousness without revealing their engaged-or-married status. after all, lots of serious couples choose not to get married, but this shouldn’t mean that their relationship is viewed as trivial.

         1. I agree that it shouldn’t be viewed as trivial. I don’t think the term matters quite as much as the “other reasons” bit. If the woman I worked with had said “well, I have heard great things about your office, love [City], really want to build strong ties to it and the region, and my boyfriend and I are looking to establish ourselves here” then I think it’d be easier.

            1. This.

               Also… and this is going to sound horrible, but regarding use of the word “partner,” that has same-sex connotations for many people. Obviously it *shouldn’t* be an issue, but just something to be aware of if you’re seeking to move to a region or city that may be a little less socially progressive.

            2. yeah – had thought of that actually! a way i get around it is by saying something like “oh my partner and i were looking for an apartment in x neighborhood – he said y” or something like that. a way of clarifying while not having to resort to using the word “boyfriend” (which is not one i feel a particularly strong affinity to).

         2. I would be more inclined to just say “I am planning a move (or have just moved) to Chicago for family reasons.” I see no reason to advertise that you’re partnered (which is illegal for them to ask you in an interview). I think it advertises the same seriousness about the relocation, without advertising too much about your personal status.

            1. I cited “family reasons” when I was moving to be in the same town as my boyfried. If you use this reason be prepared for follow-up questions about where your family lives etc. It worked for me because I was also moving closer to family.

            2. Warning, that can imply you have kids . . . not that there is anything wrong with that :)

            3. We need a better way to describe our live-in lovers when we are not yet married!

   6. Thanks, ladies — it’s great to get some other perspectives, I really appreciate it.

      I am concerned about the job market in Chicago — I’ve heard it’s not that great. I’d be looking as a 2-3 year associate in a fairly specialized area in which I’m well qualified. I do have some of my own ties to Chicago (I went to (not law) school there and have some legal connections there as well).

      As for the boyfriend/fiance/husband label — at this point I’m not planning on making any formal inquiries until/unless it’s fiance and he’s moving there. For both the reasons mentioned above (risk of looking flaky and the risk of moving for ‘just’ a boyfriend). I will probably reach out to a few friends or friends of friends, but refrain from sending out anything more concrete until we have decided what we’re going to do.

      It just seems like such a big career risk to make the commitment to make this move!

   7. Whoa! I’ve been posting here for like 8 months under the “Lola” name, and I did not post this.

      Way to steal my name. Not cool.

      See if you get any of my good advice…

      1. Lola is a common name. She probably didn’t do it on purpose.

      2. Yikes! I am totally sorry. Didn’t mean to steal your name/pretend I was you.

         1. Ok. I forgive you. :)

            I think we can keep it straight now.

            That’s the thing about this site – we can change names easily, and you never know if one is “taken.” Sorry to overreact.

      3. Funny how I never noticed you posting before, but after this weird hissy fit I’m sure I’ll notice every time.

9. Sorry to disagree, but ick – just ick.

10. not really a threadjack, but my husband just emailed me a BBC update that the dog they found at sea in Japan has been reunited with his owner. Yeah!

    1. Aw! This is a cool threadjack. Double YAY!

       1. Thanks! My husband and dog and I all watched the footage of him being rescued and it was great to hear this.

    2. Awesome! I’ll bet owner and dog are both very happy to see each other! That whole thing was amazing.

11. Great cartoon from Legally Drawn today: http://www.legallydrawn.com/comics/2011/4/3/we-want-our-lawyers-to-wear-what-we-think-lawyers-wear.html

12. Quick question: I learned this morning via an email to the entire office sent on Friday afternoon (when I was out of the office) that my boss’s mother in law passed away Friday morning. The visitation, which I would have gone to if I had known, was yesterday evening. The funeral, which I can’t/wouldn’t be expected to attend, is this morning. The firm is sending flowers.

    Should I do anything at this point? If so, what? Express my condolences in person the next time I see him? Send a card to him and his wife at their home?

    FWIW, the firm is small (7 attorneys plus support staff) and I work fairly closely with this person. He and his wife have been married for probably 30-40 years, so even though he didn’t lose “his” mother, it presumably is a loss to him as well as his wife.

    1. Send a card to his home, and when you see him, express your condolences briefly.

    2. Yes, send a card to his home and express your condolences the next time you see him. If others chipped in for the flowers, see if you can chip in belatedly.

    3. I would send a card as well as expressing my condolences in person.

    4. Like the others said above re sending a note (doesn’t have to be a sympathy card) to him at home and expressing condolences in person. If you are so inclined you could also check the obit to see if there’s a “donations in lieu of flowers” mention, although for an in-law you should not feel any obligation whatsoever.

    5. I don’t have any other suggestions to add, but may I register some jealousy that you can leave work early on Friday and not look at emails until Monday morning?!

       1. I actually work part-time, so this is my usual schedule, unless I have a big project I need to work on, in which case I can be at the office until the wee hours of the morning. Lest you be too jealous, let me just add that the rest of my time is spent caring for my three very young children – and all the glamor that cleaning up bodily fluids/refereeing fighting siblings/doing mounds of laundry, etc. that the mom-job entails!

          1. Are you me?

13. Pretty jacket! I worry that with such distinctive styling it wouldn’t get worn often, though.

    Threadjack based on the weekend Q. If any of the one or 2 ladies that get paid hourly/not salary/based on collections etc. are reading, I want to figure out how to restructure my compensation to make sure I don’t get penalized if (1) I don’t have enough hours bc a month or 2 was slow, or (2) my boss doesn’t bill out my matters. #2 often happens, that he won’t bill out for 6 months-1 year after the work is done, and then in my last review they gave me grief about my time not being collected enough, bc my boss didn’t bill the matters out!!

    Should I be looking to negotiate for (1) the hours that I bill, X per hour (and then what should X be? how much below the rate that clients pay?) or (2) a salary *floor* based on the minimum hours that I think I will have? I just want not to worry about the number of hours that I bill. Right now I am at 80%, 4 days/week, but with health insurance covered at 100%. I think that I could expect to hit 60% hours at a minimum and 80% as a max.

    1. Oh, and should there be a difference between the way I collect for my matters vs. for other matters? I have one large client, but only a few tiny ones besides the one large one.

14. I don’t like jackets with elbow patches, they are way too stylized preppy/’of the manor born’, if you will. If you want a cheaper version I have seen Zara produce elbow patch equestrian jackets season after season.

    1. Massimo Dutti (Zara’s upscale sibling) has these kind of jackets in a better quality.

15. That is such a pretty jacket!!

    Threadjack: I’m a longtime “lurker,” so I know you all give GREAT advice, although I haven’t actually posted before. I’m currently an undergraduate in a science field planning on going to law school after graduation. Recently though, I’ve been having some doubts about my ability to succeed there. Most of this is due to an undergraduate law course I’m in right now. As far as I can tell, this is structured pretty much like courses in law school are (Socratic method, reading briefs, writing several papers, Maroon Book citations, etc.) and I’m having some difficulty with it right now. Nothing major, but enough that my usually overachieving self is worried that doing this on a higher level all the time might be too much for me.

    Maybe an example would help? For instance, we’ve had to write a series of papers about an environmental act that was passed. For the last one, we had to find non-Supreme Court cases decided in the last five years that were substantive issues and explain how they effected the act. My problem was with finding cases and deciding if they were “important” enough, or if enough change/precedent came out of them, to warrant including in the paper. Is this a silly thing to worry about? Any suggestions for things I can do to make this less intimidating, or would it be better to start considering options outside of law school?

    Thanks Corporettes!!

    1. Okay, well, first of all – I think virtually all undergraduates would have a difficult time with that assignment the first time it was thrown at them. Learning to quickly read and analyze cases is really a very different skill than you encounter in most college classes and it’s one that usually takes a ton of time and effort for first year law students to pick up. So I don’t think finding it difficult is in and of itself a reason to think you wouldn’t be good in law school. If anything, recognizing that it’s not an easy, straightforward thing to do is a good sign. (Seriously, if you’re doubting this, I had to help an overachieving friend who is a PhD candidate at a prestigious sociology program decode a Supreme Court case last night; it’s not an intuitive skill.)

       More important, I think, is whether you like the way of thinking you’re learning in class and find the types of analysis you’re asked to do interesting and engaging. If you don’t, you probably won’t like law school (and while plenty of people hate law school and love being a lawyer even more people hate both). If you’re finding it uninteresting and unappealing, that would be a good reason to question your decision to go to law school, I think, rather than merely finding it difficult.

       And, of course, as often noted everywhere, the legal market is very bad right now. Especially if you’re thinking of taking on a lot of debt to attend law school, taking a year or two off from school and working as a paralegal or even in a different field you think could make you happy instead might be a really good idea.

    2. If you are not 100% sure that you want to go to law school, the I suggest that you take a year off and work in a law firm or try to get an internship while still in school. My instincts are to tell you to avoid law school. When factoring in the amount of work, financial investment, and the current economy, it’s a huge commitment, and you should be passionate about the field before you enter law school. I have friends who tell me that is they had to take out loans for law school, they never would have went; they were lucky and came from rich families, but still very grateful for it. Law school is a lot of work and stress and not always a lot of reward. However, I don’t want to be completely discouraging so do some more research, maybe visit some law schools and sit in on some classes. I would definitely suggest getting some more experience in the legal field before you make any decisions. If you do decide to go to law school, just make sure you know what you are getting into.

       1. I agree with this advice. I don’t think you should base your decision about going to law school on whether it will be difficult or not, you should decide if you think you want to be a lawyer. And a better way to do that is by doing internships and meeting practicing lawyers, I think. If you aren’t sure, it is a big commitment when you’re not sure about the end result–law school can be hard, tedious, and frustrating, and if you’re not there because you really want to be, it just sucks even more. If you already have plans to attend, see if you can defer (when I was deciding, most schools would give a 1-year deferral no questions asked).

          In my own experience, I was a hard science major and I was bored in my one law-ish undergrad class. It was like some seminars in law school–people were there because they heard it was easy and few people did any reading. There was a much broader range of classes in law school, though, and I’m glad I didn’t let that one undergrad course influence my decision too much.

          Also, about your specific situation that you found difficult–I think that it is hard to read a few cases and know their significance if you don’t know the subject area or how to do legal research. If you want to make those sorts of assignments less intimidating, I would suggest looking at a relevant treatise or law review article to try to get a quick background in the topic that you’re researching.

    3. I’m an engineering background graduating in a month. Honestly, scientists do extremely well with certain professors and most judges because we have very logical, well-organized ways of thinking. Due to the scientific method of controlling for all variables, observing all possibilities and addressing all sides of the experiment, our minds actually work very well in a legal context.

       But many law school professors and a minority of judges prefer the philosophical way of thinking. We seriously suck at this, lol. We’re just so practical and detail oriented that we sometimes miss the big picture. My worst grades were definitely with these professors. Sounds like your undergrad course is like this. But I’m still very happy I went to law school.

    4. Don’t go to law school straight through!! This class doesn’t mean you won’t love law school and the law, but please please try to get some real-world experience in a job for a few years before going to law school. It could almost be any job. “Real life” experience will prepare you to be a lawyer and any exposure to lawyers/law that you get will help you realize whether you really want to do it.

    5. Thanks to everybody who gave advice! I see now that I didn’t specify, but I LOVE this class. It’s my absolute favorite and the only one I get really excited about going to. Of course, it probably helps that I want to actually do environmental law, so that probably makes it more interesting. My current plan is to take Constitutional Law next semester (with the same professor) and use that as a better way to judge, since it’s not directly related to my interests, if that makes sense.

       My concern was more of a “I don’t want to worry about applying to law schools and pay to go if I’m going to fail at it.” Learning that lots of people have these issues at first is encouraging. Thanks everybody!!

       1. That’s my area of interest as well :)

          Another thing to keep in mind, which I decided not to say in my previous post, is that many law school classes are graded on a curve. So the question is, how are you doing in relation to your peers? Also, it can be frustrating when you’re used to exams and problem sets that have a clear right/wrong answer to take a law school exam, because you’re often expected to go back and forth and go through multiple possible answers. It just takes some getting used to (a prof of mine recommended the book “Getting to Maybe,” although I did not end up reading it…my non-law school reading really suffered in law school).

       2. Have you tried talking to the professor during office hours? He/she may give you a better sense of how law school compares to this class and can give you better insight. I did that when I was debating law school in my undergraduate con law class. Also, it does help to take law classes in undergrad because at the very least, you will be familiar with the cases.

       3. For what it’s worth, I went to law school because of a similar experience in an undergraduate law class that I absolutely loved. I ended up loving law school and love practicing law, and I think basing the decision on that academic experience wasn’t a bad thing at all. (Though given the state of things, I had a healthy dose of luck as well.)

       4. If you are a normal human being you will find the learning curve in the beginning of law school extremely high. This does not mean you are inadequate- you are learning a new skill and starting from scratch.

          I am not saying you should or should not go to law school- there are many factors to consider in making that decision. But everyone finds reading cases and analyzing legal arguments challenging when they are first starting. That alone should not deter you from going to law school.

    6. I agree with the other commenters who said you should be more concerned about whether you want to be a lawyer than about whether law school will be hard. Law school is hard for most people and you get better at it as you go along. But it is a lot of time, money, etc. if you decide being a lawyer isn’t for you. I even worked in a law firm before law school to try and be sure, but after 4 years of practice, I have to say being a lawyer is not for me. Switching jobs is tough because I still have a lot of law school debt to pay off so I can’t afford to take some of the lower paying jobs in which I am interested.

       1. This is good advice.

       2. Very good advice. Don’t expect to find it easy in the beginning, especially in undergrad when no one’s taught you yet the finer points of legal reading/researching/writing. I watched my classmates from the tip-top of the class all the way down to the bottom struggle in the beginning. You can’t learn this stuff or expect it to be easy in just one semester – it’s a skill acquired over multiple semesters of learning and practice.

    7. Just curious: Are you interested in intellectual property law (given your science background)? If so, your job outlook may be different from the general state of the legal profession, so keep that in mind. IP lawyers are usually in higher demand than other types. But it’s a long road.

       As for the intimidation thing, don’t sweat it. Law school takes some getting used to, and you don’t need to know everything going in (otherwise it would be a waste of time, right?). I think most people took a bit of an ego hit going to law school, because they’re used to being at the top of the class, and law school throws them into a pool in which they may be average or less. Just be ready for that and find your confidence elsewhere.

       1. IME, just EE/CS majors are in demand and even those aren’t doing any better than the average new law school grad. I’ve only seen those getting interviews. Other backgrounds, especially pure science, seem to have an even harder time of it these days. Companies cut back on research first in a bad economy, which means filing fewer patents. Litigation is still there, but those jobs can be tough to get without experience.

    8. Law school is not easy for anyone. The fact that this class is difficult should not be a deterrent for you. If anyone tells you law school was easy, they either did it wrong, or were at the wrong law school for them, or they are lying. The academics can be difficult, but what’s most difficult are the emotional ups and downs, and the changes in your worldview.

       There are lots of things that should worry you, and that you should take into consideration in your decision. That it’s going to be too hard for you is not one of them.

       It’s completely doable, but not easy, and not really too much fun.

    9. Law school is supposed to be hard, especially if you’re not focused on it 100% of your academic time, i.e. now for you in undergrad. I agree with the other posters above that your fear of failure because it’s “too hard” shouldn’t be the deterrent for law school – other things should be the deterrent (if there is one for you). As a law student, I don’t think I really “got the hang” of things until late my first year and into my second year, and talking to others that seemed to be the case.

       FWIW, in my internships during law school, I still worried about if a case I was using was one of the “important” ones. Law school teaches you how to measure each case to decide if it is ‘important,’ but it’s a skill that takes years and years to really get perfect. So don’t worry if you don’t have it a couple months after starting! :-)

16. Hi corporettes;
    Talking about a splurge. For this year’s shopping trip, I have decided to focus on stocking up on make up and natural hair care. This means I will have less budget for clothing. If you were to splurge on 2 or 3 items (not a purse or jeans or shoes) what would they be?
    Ideally, I am thinking of buying 2 or 3 pieces that would get maximum wear and be worth the spending.

    1. Cashmere twin set (Lands End has GREAT sales right now + 20% off)
       Pencil skirt

       But I ‘m boring!

    2. If I were you, one of the things I would splurge on is a jacket/cardigan/blazer/sweater. Something in a color/fabric that goes with at least 50% of your wardrobe and pulls your entire outfit together. Sometimes, that perfect outer layer really adds that extra oomph to your outfit by dressing it up or down.

    3. A perfect work dress and a versatile blazer (grey or black).

       Have fun!

       Btw, makeupalley.com is great for beauty product reviews.

    4. I think it’s good to have a nice black sheath dress that you can wear under a variety of sweaters/blazers and a nice neutral blazer that you can wear for a few seasons a year. The fabric would depend on your location, obviously.

    5. A purse. I just got my new Kate Spade and by golly it was worth it. It dresses up anything.

    6. I wouldn’t focus on makeup and hair products if I were you. Your choice, obviously, but unless there is something wrong with your face or hair that needs to be corrected with expensive makeup and hair products, people notice clothes more. People also notice when clothes are endlessly rotated, especially on women. Not fair, but true.

       1. Eh, I think this is a matter of personal preference. I have a small-ish capsule wardrobe of clothing for both business and free-time clothing because I like buying fewer pieces that I adore and will wear frequently. If I had a closet full of clothes, most of it would go unworn. Power to those who can rotate 50 different tops in a year!

          1. I am this type too.
             I buy the best quality I can afford and wear the clothes to death. But I have a young blemish/acne-ridden face and crazy hair… doesn’t help with the professional image I want to project.
             With proper makeup and hair I look polished even on jeans day.

       2. Makeup and hair product are going to be less bulky to schlep back home than a ton of clothes, though!

          1. and I have dragged a huge suitcase of work appropriate clothes last year.
             This time I have at least 8 different planes to hop on.. I do not feel like being a suitcase lady.

    7. This really depends on what you have already. What wardrobe staples do you already own?

    8. Based on my experience, I would recommend a very nice cardigan. I own a bright blue cardigan.; the color is pretty distintive but very flattering on me. I always wear it at least partially open and I can get pretty different looks by changing the color of the cami I wear underneath and by wearing different jewelry. (Gray cami, light pink cami, beige cami…Of course, one reason this works is that I have a solid, and expanding, cami collection.)

17. Love the jacket.

    Two

18. Oops. Posted too soon.

    Ok, two quick things for corporettes:

    1. I just sent my colleague an email and nearly typed corporette sponsorship instead of corporate sponsorship. Thought y’all would appreciate that.

    2. I need a pair of versatile, comfortable, slightly dress flats. Taking a trip for work this summer, and it will be hot. I will be on my feet all day, and need shoes to help me through it. I’d like a pair that looks alright with dresses, and I got overwhelmed on Zappos yesterday. I’m open to different colors, and would like to spend around $100 or less, though if I found the right shoe, I’d spend more. As for fit, I wear a size 10, and my feet are wide.

    1. I have a pair of french sole flats that I love. I don’t see them online anymore, but you could check out their other styles. They work with skirts and dresses and don’t make my size 10s look like boats. Not sure if they come in wide.

    2. I can’t vouch for these, but this pair caught my eyes this weekend when I was browsing (open toed, but modestly so), and well less than $100:

       http://www.landsend.com/pp/ClassicOpenToeBalletShoes~219577_253.html?
       bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::ADH&CM_MERCH=IDX_Shoes-_-FlatsMocs&origin=index

       1. I have these, and they’re extremely unsupportive and they have this strange bump on the sole that I think is supposed to be padding, but it’s in the wrong place. They’re fine for sitting most of the day but I would not recommend them to stand in for hours.

          1. thanks for the review. it seems nearly impossible to find a pair of cute summer work-appropriate, supportive flats. I’ll continue my search….

             1. I have a very similar pair by Clarks (Artisan Collection) that are pretty comfy, although I wear them with orthotic inserts and maybe they wouldn’t be as comfy without.

             2. Oh, and orthotics don’t work in the Lands End ones because of the weird bump in the shoe.

       2. I don’t know about that pair, but the closed toed ballet flats I ordered from Lands End were lined with polyurethane under the leather, so if you’re sensitive about materials, they won’t stretch or breathe.

    3. I like peep toe flats for summer business events. They look good with dresses or pants and they’re comfortable.

       Something like this:
       http://www.colehaan.com/colehaan/catalog/product.jsp?catId=100&productId=396232&productGroup=396068&pwpHash=shop,pwp,c-100/f-10001%2B70016/ipp-60/pn-2/is-s&scrX=0&scrY=228

       There are a ton of choices on Endless.com if you search for peep toe flats – I see some by Ecco, which is a really comfortable and supportive brand. I have a pair by Clarks that I wear all the time, but they don’t seem to make the exact same style anymore.

       1. I got those Cole Haans (my first pair, thanks to all the Corporette recs!) from Zappos in the silver. The sole feels very comfortable, but I need to try them out a bit more to see if the straps at the front are too constricting; when I put them on at first, one foot felt like it was getting squeezed too much, but I am going to try again and maybe try stretching them a little if I want to keep them. I like the soles and the look, so I’m going to try to make them work.

          1. Cole Haan has excellent customer service. If you have a store near you, they will stretch the shoes for you. I’ve had them do this for a couple of my shoes. I think I’ve sung the praises of Cole Haan a number of times before but if you have wider feet, they may be difficult to wear. I feel like my feet are generally average (never needed wide or narrow shoes) but some Cole Haan’s definitely tend to feel a bit narrow on me so I take advantage of the stretching. Or sometimes I order the wide size when it’s available. If you actually have wide feet, I’m not sure these would work.

    4. I like these:

       http://www.brooksbrothers.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=1&Section_Id=378&Product_Id=1533863&Parent_Id=1034&default_color=BLACK&sort_by=&sectioncolor=&sectionsize=

    5. I have a pair of black patent Me Too flats that have become my go-to shoes for days I need to look grown up and also hike a mile or two. They tend to run about $80 full price.

       1. This! I have a pair of black leather (not patent) Me Too flats. They have this thick rubber sole that is a-mazing for long days of running around.

    6. They tend a bit more toward the dowdy side, but I have a pair of low-heeled Trotters pumps that are quite comfy even in DC summers. I think it’s because the insides are lined with sort of a lightly padded fabric, which I find to be more, shall we say, absorbent, than leather and thus more comfortable.

       I’ve never tried them, but have seen people on this board mention Summer Soles (I think that’s what they’re called), may be worth looking into these, too.

       1. How about Born Adele flats? I don’t own them, but I’ve tried a pair on in the store and they seem comfy and supportive. They’re available at Nordstroms or Zappos.

          Another suggestion is the Rockport Mary pump. I do own this one and it’s relatively comfortable as far as pumps go and the style doesn’t squish your toes if you have wider feet. I ended up wearing it for 10 hours once (walking and standing) and my feet were still in good condition! It’s on Endless or Zappos.

          1. My friend had Dr. Scholls flats with a buckle detail on the front. I see them at DSW all the time, and they are SUPER comfy.

             And they don’t “look comfortable” which is an upside to me. They still look like nice shoes.

    7. I love Dr. Scholls Graduate flats. I often buy Wide (and also a 10), and I didn’t need it with these. They have a suedey fabric insole, so they are perfect for summer wear without socks or liners of any sort. And very, very, very comfy. I’ve bought three pairs in different colors/finishes, and I love them. There is a similar one too if you can’t find the Graduate, but I can’t remember the name offhand.

    8. Very comfy & are on sale in your size (also avail. in brown) —

       http://www.brooksbrothers.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=1&Section_Id=380&Product_Id=1469097&Parent_Id=314&default_color=RED&sort_by=&sectioncolor=&sectionsize=10

       If peeptoe is acceptable, check out Talbots — very good quality and lots available in “wide” sizes —
       e.g.,
       http://www.talbots.com/online/browse/product_details.jsp?id=prdi26253&rootCategory=cat70016&catId=cat140094&sortKey=Default&section=Regular&conceptIdUnderSale=cat70016

       http://www.talbots.com/online/browse/product_details.jsp?id=prdi24622&rootCategory=cat440040&catId=cat140094&sortKey=Default&section=Outlet&conceptIdUnderSale=cat440040

       Also check out Taryn Rose, supposed to be incredible comfy and good for wider feet. On sale in red, purple and black at 6pm dot com —

       http://www.6pm.com/taryn-rose-foxxy-plum

    9. Laker: Haha to your #1. Thanks for sharing. :)

       1. Thanks for all the recs. You ladies are the best resource on the web!

    10. I *love* my Hush Puppies Mary Janes. I wear a 9.5 wide. This is one of the two Hush Puppies that I own – unfortunately now available only in a size 7.

        http://www.amazon.com/Hush-Puppies-Womens-Zandi-Mary/dp/B001FWXSH4

        1. Hush Puppies’ shoes are amazingly comfortable. I have a pair of mary janes that have lasted me (and my mom who keeps stealing my flats) for about 5 years now.

19. PSA for corporettes in/near NYC. Uniqlo has a line of suiting that is 50/50 wool and polyester and MACHINE WASHABLE. It comes in mid-grey, black, and black pinstripe. The fabric feels okay (not luxe), but at $60 for a well cut grey blazer, I’m not complaining. I didn’t try the skirt or pants on, but they looked like simple cuts. At those prices, you could have tailor make them look perfect. I bought the jacket for weekend wear, but I thought it might be a good option if you need a cheaper suit, like when you are losing/gaining weight, post-pregnancy, running out of clean clothes, etc.

    1. A word of warning with Uniqlo’s stuff: if you have problems with Theory pants/skirts fitting too tightly (I size up two sizes and then have to tailor it down one), Uniqlo’s suiting mostly has the same problem. I love their J+ line but it feels like it was designed for women without any hips/thighs. Unless you are one of those women, be sure to size up. Also had some problems with leg length (I am 5’9″).

       1. They hem all their stuff for free though. Hence the leg length.

          They have fantastic button downs, too, btw. Very nicely made and inexpensive.

       2. this is why I don’t wear Theory- very pricey to hit my ego (going up two sizes!) and add extra tailoring costs.

          1. agree, with one exception: I forgive them based on the way their dresses always fit perfectly on me in the correct, original size.

             to AIMS: haven’t you found the pants are still too short? It’s easy to hem up, much harder to lengthen a hem. I admit I haven’t seen their pants lately so maybe they’ve increased the length of the fabric?

20. I just submitted a resume to my dream job! I am so incredibly nervous . . .

    1. Yay! Best wishes! :-)

    2. Good luck!!!! Sending good vibes your way.

    3. Good luck!

       I submitted a resume to my dream job in January (on an online system) and finally tracked down a phone number last week to follow-up . . . (submitted a supplemental letter a few weeks ago renewing my interest) I was told after several transfers that the position had over 700 applicants and I should hear something in the next couple of weeks. Apparently my dream job is in the dreams of at least 699 others as well. I’m hoping your dream job is a little less popular than mine.

21. Threadjack: Sorry to but in randomly, but would appreciate any feedback for how to address the situation:

    longtime BF and I reconciled in December after a 7-month breakup; during breakup, BF dated quite a bit using online dating websites. Upon reconciliation, BF advised he would close all such accounts. I see that one is still open, and had “within 3 weeks” activity noted as of a month ago, but as of now, the activity is more than 3 weeks. I do not believe that this account remains open out of negligence or forgetfulness. How to approach this, if I should?

    1. In my experience using online dating “activity” can be something as simple as clicking through on an email sent by the site or something. They tend to define it as broadly as possible so that it looks like they have more active users. So I’d bring it up, but since it’s obvious he’s not using it regularly (since it’s been more than 3 weeks since he had any activity), be nice about it and don’t accuse him of anything. just let him know you’d prefer that he delete the account completely.

    2. So, how did you “see that one is still open”? Were you checking to make sure he’d closed them all? I do think that, if he agreed to close them all and didn’t do so, that is a problem and should be discussed, but I think that checking up on him is also problematic behavior. And I say this as someone who can have a very, very difficult time respecting those types of boundaries at times.

       1. Assuming that you were being stealthy and checking up on him…
          I’m pretty bad at respecting boundaries like that as well, and I will tell you that from personal experience, it totally depends on your BF’s personality. I looked through BF (now H’s) phone at his texts a few years back pretty religiously (also for trust reasons) and when I saw something that sent up a red flag, I just said: “Remember when I told you that I had trust issues about X? Well, I know I crossed a line by looking at your phone, but I did, and I saw this and I need to talk about it with you.”
          Here’s the honest truth: You checked on his activity (if you actually checked on it) because you still care about this relationship and want to make it work. Not because you want to pick a fight with him. You might explain it that way as well, while still apologizing for crossing the line.

    3. How did you find out about the site? I assume you were also trolling the online service and came across it…which may be an awkward start to the conversation. I’d be blunt, and just tell him you need it taken down in order to maintain trust in the relationship.

       1. But then how can he trust you? I think the trust issues flow both ways here…

          (Unless a friend of yours found it, which I did one time for a guy that was with a friend of mine. I immediately contacted him and told him to take it down, or I was going to tell her.)

    4. My boyfriend and I had been dating exclusively for several months when I googled him and found his online dating profile showing that he had signed on that day. I trust him, so I just sent him an email about it, noting that it would be uncomfortable for me if my friends came across it (many use the same site in our smallish city). He immediately apologized, reassured me that he had been using the site to keep in touch with some friends that he’d met last summer in a different city, and shut down the site. So even though it looks bad, it might not be as big a deal as you think. I would bring it up though given the concerns with STDs and whatnot these days.

    5. “I do not believe that this account remains open out of negligence or forgetfulness. ”

       In other words, you think he’s still looking for dates? If so, break up with him again, because even if he’s not, the fact that, three months into a reconciliation, you’re concerned about whether he’s cheating on you or not, is a major red flag.

       If I’m misunderstanding you, then you either ask whether he’s closed them all, and if he gives you a good reason why he hasn’t closed this one, you take it from there. If he says he has, and you don’t believe that this one is open out of forgetfulness, then you have to address the issue that you believe your boyfriend is lying to you. Did you break up over issues of dishonesty and/or cheating the first time? If so, this may be a sign that either the behavior has not changed, or that even if it has, you are not ready to trust him again, and either of those issues would be a dealbreaker, in my opinion.

       Best of luck.

    6. I think you should ask him about the account, but give him the benefit of the doubt. Is there some reason you think he’s holding this account open in particular? I can understand being suspicious if you noticed daily or weekly activity, but if he’s signed on once in the past month or so, it doesn’t seem like he’s really using it regularly.

       Some sites won’t delete your profile automatically when you cancel the service, and it may be that he canceled but forgot to go to the extra step of deleting. They’re probably send him a lot of “Hey, come back!” messages and if he accidentally clicked one or tried to get them not to send him anything further, they counted that as activity.

22. Since you had a long-term relationship with your BF, I assume you were physical with him. My rule is that once you rekindle a physical relationship, all on line dating and other dating of any kind by your BF and you should stop immediately. It would be a different situation if you were never physical, but once parties have broken the sexual barrier, you should not permit him to sample any other women, and needless to say, you too should not be with any other men.

    1. Thanks, all. The night we reconciled, out of curiosity, since he had told me about his online dates, I found his ad on a very large, well known dating site. I forgot about it but a few months later, felt compelled to check on it. I do not have an account with this service not any other online service.

       I also found that BF had been named in a lawsuit (public records) that had been recently settled. This had never been mentioned to me, and it would appear he had known of it for two years. I feel that he is secretive/private and just knowing about these two matters gives me pause. On one hand, how much is any of this my business? On the other hand, he makes little effort to conceal his whereabouts from me; (he is either at work, at home, or at my house, as nearly as I can determine); is a nice fellow; but steers clear of talking about personal matters, including feelings, which makes for a lot of chait chat about his work. No matter what the reason, I am quite angry about the dating profile. Moreover, one of his dates from the break up period remains his facebook friend.

       I am generally not a suspicious person but for some reason, he has not seemed the same since our reconciliation as he seems guarded and really, much less fun.

       1. Red flag – being secretive and unwilling to engage in emotional intimacy

          1. Yea definitely red flags! Why did you two get back together???

       2. A lawsuit? Are we talking a member of a class action with like 1000s of class members … or like 3 or 4 dudes working for the same company that got sued for sexual harassment? Is the lawsuit something he would have mentioned to you?

          It sounds like this dude is shady. A lot of the women here are trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it sounds like your gut is telling you to be wary.

          Trust your gut. You’re the one that knows the dude.

          1. @ Miriam — I think we are a habit. No real passion. Friends though. We live in a major (HUGE!) metropolitan area and do not have extensive mutual friends.

             Hel-lo: It would appear that BF had been named in a suit resulting from some sort of a motor vehicle accident, one which he was probably at fault. Time from initial filing to settlement (recent): 2 yrs. He was served and gave a depo, too. And not one word of this to me. Which I find odd. No idea if the ins paid the settlement or if he did. Each party had legal representation.

          2. I can’t say one way or another what the boyfriend’s issue is, but I think both parties have problems. There are so many scenarios for the type of lawsuit mentioned, and fraud is absolutely rampant. I have a friend who was “at fault” in a similar lawsuit where the accident was totally staged and he never even hit the woman. I trust his side of the story, but in a case where someone is constantly checking up on me, I might worry that she’ll rush to a snap judgment and accuse me of being reckless or having other issues.

             I just feel like trust is something that goes both ways. Shady or not, many people are just not willing to open up to people who obviously don’t trust them. In order for a relationship to work, one can’t assume the worst of the SO.

             1. Absolutely @ MelD. I do not trust him, but I do not know any concrete reasons why – . And yes, the lawsuit could be frivolous, but not mentioning it?

             2. I’m feeling that too. You’re checking up on him – it doesn’t sound like you can trust him, but he should also be able to trust you not to go snooping in his personal matters. If he wanted to tell you about the lawsuit, he’d tell you.

                Sometimes guys just like their privacy.

23. Good for a young person (the shrunken hem line reads very young to me) with a flat belly (again that cropped hemline would emphasize any tummy fullness).

    Linen and leather together on the same garment are like a parka with sandals. One of these things does not belong with the other.

    I get the idea behind the hacking jacket detail but question the intelligence of the execution. Hacking jackets in tweed make sense, in linen could be cheeky but not with the Mr. Rogers sleeve patches.

24. Chiming in with what is probably another dumb question–is it realistic to give myself a French-style manicure at home? (I.e. clear nails with a white line at the tips?) Is it just a matter of getting the lines clean? Any tips (or warnings just not to try it)?

    1. I’ve tried to do it using those little stick-on guide thingies. Never looked as good as it did if I had it done at a salon. I’d say (especially if you’re doing them for a nice event or something) fork over and go to a salon. I find even the cheapest nail places will do a better job on a french than I will do on my own.

    2. I use the french manicure pen (by Sally Hansen I think, purchased at CVS/Walgreens) and after you get the hang of it, it’s quite easy.

    3. I’ve tried two ways with varying amount of success:

       1) Cut small strips of painter’s tape, place them on your nails, paint white, let dry, peel painters tape off and top with clear coat. This works fairly well if press the lines down firmly and if you have the patience to let the paint dry (which occassionally I do not).

       2) Get a paint brush like the ones the ladies in the salon use, and pour a small amount of nail polish remover into a cup. Paint the white lines forward on your nails. Let dry for a few minutes. Dip the brush in the nail polish remover and gently make half-moon “twists” on your nail, moving forwarded until you have the desired white line shape. Let dry a few minutes more. Top with clear coat.

       It takes a great deal of patience and practice, but if you’ve got the time, go ahead and try.

    4. I got a french manicure at a salon once, and it lasted 24 hours before the clear coat peeled off. I’ve had manicures before that lasted several days, and even fingernail polish that I apply myself always lasts longer than 24 hours, so I know I’m not that hard on my nails. Are french manicures less durable than other manicures, or did I just get a bad one? I’d love to do it again, because I really liked the look, but I don’t want to pay for something that will look bad by the next morning.

       1. I’ve never had that problem with french manicures. I think you just got a bad one!

    5. Practice a lot. I had a set of stickers that you could put on and paint the white line above for a crisp line that I started with. Eventually I did it enough times that I could do it without the stickers.

       I do the white part first and do 2 coats. Let that dry completely, then put on the other color. I use Sally Hanson’s color White Whip over the rest of my nail (including the white tips). You can use a very pale pink color or just use clear topcoat, but I personally like it with a pale pink over the top of everything to lessen the effect a bit.

    6. http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P233713

       these look like they might be worth a try too! i have used the sally hansen salon effects nail polish strips (similar function – it’s like a nail polish sticker) and had surprisingly good results.

    7. Make sure you have nail polish remover and Qtips handy for edits.

25. I am a lawyer looking to lateral to another firm. I have had a few rounds of interviews with one firm and, over the past several weeks, initial interviews with a few more firms. I anticipate (fingers crossed) that the firm that I have met with multiple times will make an offer soon while the others are still in the initial phases of interviewing lots of candidates. I think any of these places would be a step up from my current situation. If I get an offer from one firm, how do you suggest that I handle it? My inclination is to ask for a week to respond and then try to rush the other firms along. Any suggestions??

    1. I think you can ask for more than a week. And then if you’re still in the process with another place that you like better, then it’s ok to tell them that you’ve received another offer, and see where it goes.

26. I just found out that an ex boyfriend is having a baby with his wife. I was with him 4 years. We broke up about 6 years ago or so. He since got married, and is now having a baby.

    I have spent the last 6 years playing the field, and not finding anyone that I spent more than a couple weeks with. (There were a few guys that I slept with for a while, but those weren’t much in the terms of real relationships and ultimately ended in hurt on my end.)

    Anyway, I’m just pissed. I’m friends on facebook with both the ex and his wife, and they just posted the sonogram.

    Thanks for letting me vent. :(

    1. sorry :(
       this is why i’m convinced that an extensive facebook network is not worth it, you often get updates you’d rather not have and wouldn’t get otherwise, even if it’s as simple as someone’s awesome vacation photos when you’ve been stuck in the office for weeks.

    2. Just remember…

       A wife and a baby do not happiness make (every time).

       Usually a bottle of wine, ice cream, and good friends make me pretty happy though. :-D

       1. This. And even if they are happy, it doesn’t mean that *you* would be happy to be in the wife’s shoes. I felt a bit like you do when I first saw in the alumni bulliten that my college boyfriend had gotten married and had a child. But then they had another child. And another. And another. All boys, and all within less than 2 years of each other. And FOUR little boys would just be way too much for me to handle. So now I feel like I really dodged a bullet, if that was what the ex-BF wanted out of life.

    3. Thanks, ladies. I was upset for a little bit when he first got married… and I expect I will eventually get over this, too.

       At least it’s an excuse to pair wine and ice cream. :)

       1. Annnnd, his new wife certainly can’t enjoy a glass of wine as much as you will get to :)
          I have had numerous friends go through this same type of emotion. It’s been harder on some than others, but one thing that always helps is to get them back to where they were right about when they were getting over the breakup – when you can clear-headedly see why it wasn’t going to work anymore.

    4. Unless you are actually friends with your ex-, you may want to just de-friend him and his ex- and focus on making your own life fabulous.

       Also, you probably had some good reasons for breaking up with him after 4 years and good reasons for not getting back together in the past 6. Focus on those things. I ran into an ex- (and his wife) at a wedding totally unexpectedly 8 years after breaking up (after a 6 year relationship) and it threw me for a loop, too, but since then, I’ve reflected on all the ways that he was really not good to me (or for me), and it’s been freeing.

    5. I’m sorry. Just to let you know, I completely understand the “I have a Facebook “friend” that you secretly cringe everytime you see an update from them because you’re sort of (but sort of not quite) jealous of them, but could never ever unfriend them because that would be admitting that it bothers you” phenomenon. I certainly have several of those myself!

    6. There is a block on facebook! You can hide anyone’s status without actually deleting them, aka avoid the reminder without seeming spiteful with the de-friending. I have my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend, his sister, his brother, and his sister’s fiance all blocked, but I’m still friends with them. It’s a very easy way to deal.

    7. Thank you so much, ladies. I love this community.

       A block on fb may be a good idea. (Especially if there are going to be baby pictures coming up…)

       I totally had good reasons for breaking it off with him. That guy sucked.

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