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Workwear sales of note for 6.07.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off purchase
- Boden – 20% off new styles
- Eloquii – Up to 50% off everything
- Express – Extra 50% off clearance
- H&M – Up to 60% off: 100s of new styles added
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Loft – 40% off dresses; 30% off full-price styles; extra 40% off sale styles
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Extra 25% off sale styles
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – Everything is buy 1 get 1 50% off
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- Favorite comfy pants for an overnight plane ride?
- I’ve got a nasty case of tech neck…
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What’s the best commuter backpack?
- I’m early 40s and worry my career arc is ending…
- I canNOT figure out the proportions in this current season of fashion…
- How is everyone wearing scarves in 2023?
- What shoes are people wearing to work between boot and sandal season?
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What are some of your go-to outfits that feel current?
- I need more activities that are social, easy to learn and don’t involve extreme running/jumping/etc.
Definitely love this dress. Would wear to the office with a chunky yellow or turquoise bib necklace and black pumps.
Agree, this dress is fabulous. I was also thinking it would look great with turquoise accents. Hadn’t thought about yellow, but I bet you’re right!
Not sure if you NY ladies know about this or not, but I was just in NY and my friend took me to the Tahari Company Store. It’s a fully-stocked Tahari store, but everything is 20% off. I’m still trying to figure out its purpose. It’s a little hidden — there’s no window displays or anything, but the address is 520 5th Ave I believe.
I didn’t know that! Thanks for the tip; I might be needing a new interview suit soon.
I didn’t know that this store was always open it’s where their seasonal sample sales happen and i know the company’s offices are in that building too.
Hmm… maybe it’s not? My friend claims that it’s always open but I’ve only gone this one time.
Which Tahari line do they sell? All? ASL? Elie Tahari? Tahari?
PS: I hate that brands do this, causing endless confusion!
An expensive one, whatever it is. I got a boucle jacket that retails for $398.
Someone please correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that the Tahari name was bought by ASL so all lines are theirs with the exception of the Elie Tahari line which is retained by the original designer.
With the black-and-white being so striking, though, you would definitely want to have a colouring that goes well with it.
Good point. This would look okay on me (brown skin, dark hair), but just okay. It would look much more striking on my dark-haired blue-eyed pale-skinned friend.
Love it. Though I must say I have been terribly disappointed with AK quality of late. Used to be a fan earlier.
I’m only familiar with the poor-quality and more inexpensive line that makes the boxy poly-blend suits you can find at Macys – I don’t think I even realized the brand had a line that made $400 dresses. Does anyone have experience with their nicer high-end line? I’m loving this dress but wondering if the price point means better quality fabric and cut or just more expensive.
Aaah looks like I have been confusing AK and Anne Klein new York:(
Love the dress!!! I wonder if the quality is worth the expense?
PSA – I remember someone raving about Under Armor underwear on here not to long ago. Found some on clearance at my local T.J. Maxx this past weekend. Just passing this along!
It’s $254.99 on the Anne Klein website. Limited sizes.
and 25% off that!
Just got two shells, a dress, and a skirt for $100 including shipping. Score!
What a pretty dress. Despite my love of pearls (and other necklaces) I think the graphic nature of the dress itself precludes really any jewelry – which is why the model is wearing lucite bracelets. I’d throw on earrings and probably black slingbacks and call it a day.
I agree with this. I might wear yellow or green shoes and fun earrings, but that’s it.
I forgot to add…love the dress. Also love that it has sleeves. Nice pick, Kat. I wonder if it comes in petite sizes? Probably not…
Earnest question: I thought a primary goal in making an outfit–especially for work–was to call attention upward. Doesn’t this dress do the opposite, and very severely?
Yep. I like how graphical the dress is and I like the black and white contrast. It would be great on anyone with a smaller bottom half. For the pear-shaped among us, no way. It’s like putting a high-beam and some reflective stripes exactly where you don’t want them.
I’ve never heard of that as a “primary goal” of an outfit. I think the “primary goal” of a work outfit should be to look professional.
@ Jay, about the goal of drawing attention to the face:
This is an important consideration for a professional impression. You want people to focus on your message, what you are saying, over what you are wearing.
Many image stylists focus on bringing attention to the face. In general (at least for traditional, professional business) your clothing is not what you want people remember about you because 99% of the time if they do, it will be because they thought you were somehow inappropriately dressed. Thus your message, your credibility, trustworthiness, intelligence – all the things that are career enhancing will either get lost or are at least be diminished.
Good call. And the suggested conspicuous accessories would only make this worse, not better. Not only would the eye still be drawn down, but the long necklace adding yet another line would serve to create a distraction, not enhancement, that points down, to contrasting colored shoes. Not that is anything wrong with “fun” accessories. But they don’t work in a professional business setting.
I think it’s very professional. You all are over-thinking it.
Summer in the City
First, love this dress. So simple and elegant. If I had splurge money this is the kind of splurge I can get behind. Its the sort of piece I would wear years from now and not have it scream “2011.”
Second, I have an early threadjack. I recently applied for a position that I am really interested in. The deadline for applications was today. I don’t know anyone who works at the company unfortunately but I am very interested in the position and wanted to see if following up tomorrow (or later in the week) would be a good idea. I was thinking something along the lines of “hi, still very interested in the position, please let me know if you need any other info” type email. Very short and to the point.
I know a few weeks ago people had told someone to wait until the deadline and only then to make contact. I also remember people saying only to contact if you know someone who works there. I feel like that puts anyone who doesn’t know someone at the company at a double disadvantage (since the contact probably already put in a good word and the applicant is reminding HR about their particular resume). I want them to make sure to look at mine even though I don’t know someone there. Am I totally wrong job search etiquette wise on this one?
Thank you in advance ladies!
I think it’s fine to contact HR in a few days (maybe next Monday), but I woudl do it by phone. You’re trying to show how interested you are: lots of people will send a 2 second email, fewer will call.
I agree. Do follow up in some way in a few days. I definitely don’t think you have to have an “in” to do this.
I don’t have a strong opinion on this, but I will put my two cents in that a call could annoy (lots of postings say “no calls please”) while an email could end up as part of your file, which others could see.
Second this. A nicely worded email (cannot emphasize spelling enough) can serve as a gentle pointer to your resume; a call can come off as annoying to the recruiter.
Fabulous dress – loving that it has sleeves. Seems like it could be worn year round by switching out accessories and shoes.
Ethics threadjack: My small law firm pays for us to keep up our CLE requirements. I have stalled a little and still have a good number of credits to get in the next couple of months. There are a few 2-day conferences coming up in which I can get them all at once.
Here’s the problem: There is a decent possibility that I will be relocating in the next 4-6 weeks, and thus will need to turn in notice. I really want to keep my licensure, and CLE credit are expensive. How bad will it look if I sign up for a several-hundred-dollar seminar to attend on my firm’s dime in the last few weeks of my employment?
Mmm, not great. But I think it depends on how close in time and how much you care. I think as long as you attend about 4-6 weeks before you leave (and attend before you give notice), you’re okay.
You could always offer to reimburse them if the new job opportunity pans out.
SF Bay Associate
I wouldn’t volunteer to refund the firm (would a male associate volunteer? no.), but would say something along the lines of “I didn’t expect to need to relocate, and appreciate that this may be burdensome for the firm. It is important to me to leave on good terms and minimize that burden” which I think opens a line of communication about how that last $300 CLE is burdensome, so the firm would appreciate it if you repaid that. And then you would graciously agree to repay.
I like this, and I want to add that as a pathological over-apologizer/ people pleaser, I now ask myself constantly “would a male associate do X?” Then I follow it up with “…but am I comfortable being the kind of person who DOESN’T do X?” Usually it’s something that in no way required an apology from me and I am simply trying to diffuse a tense situation, and it’s a helpful (if wildly stereotyped, overgeneralized) way to get me to break the habit.
I read a great book on gender communication styles at work called “Talking from Nine to Five.” One of the findings I remember most clearly is that women tend to apologize far more often–not because they have done anything wrong, or even think they have, but just to smooth the conversation. The problem is that you appear to be taking blame or putting yourself “one down” when you’re dealing with someone else who doesn’t do the same. So now I, too, try to think harder now before apologizing. Am I really sorry?
@Monday, thanks for the book suggestion. This is something I definitely have a bad habit of doing.
That’s kind of the rub, I guess. If I don’t end up relocating (rides on whether SO gets a job offer in another state), I still need the credits, and life has to go on. So I need to have a contingency plan either way. I really wish I’d been on the ball and gotten these credits earlier so it didn’t come down to this. But I didn’t know…
If you had done this before, you would not be worried about how it comes off. You may actually end up staying. You need to stay current regardless, and your firm does offer this as part of your compensation/benefits package. It seems like you are only feeling badly about this because you didn’t do this earlier — but your firm would still have had to have spent that money on you.
I would go ahead and sign up for the first available CLE-extravaganza weekend. If you end up needing to leave, you can make it clear to the firm that you did not plan 0n leaving and are only doing so b/c your husband has to relocate. You can say something along the lines of what SF Bay Associate suggested above. If that $300-400 is that important, they will bring it up.
what AIMS said. :)
I sorry, but I think it’s bad form to do this. I don’t think it is a gender issue, I think it is an ethics issue. I just don’t like it. If you do go on their time and their dime, and then find out you have to relocate, I think you should offer to reimburse them. You’ll feel better about yourself (or maybe I’m projecting: I would), and you will leave with their respect.
Need. More. Threadjacks. Please, someone, throw something out there. It’s Monday, for crying out loud. I need it.
tra la la
Any other Corporettes in Japan at the moment?
I assume you are if you’re asking – are you doing OK? I am not in Japan but I have some friends that live there, stationed with the military. They are all right but some of their relatives are missing :(
tra la la
I’m doing OK (I’m in Tokyo) but it’s been an extremely stressful past few days. I’m trying to decide whether this nuclear problem warrants going further south or leaving the country. I hope you friends’ relatives are all right.
One reason for the lack of threadjacks is that this thread only just showed up — at least for me. Not that I have a pressing question :-).
Right now I am obsessed with this Katy Perry song: E.T. (Futuristic Lover). Amazing.
I think there’s a problem with the site. The post doesn’t show up for me on the home page, I have to click through from Google reader!
I’m having the same problem. If I go to https://corporette.com, the new post doesn’t show up, but then if I click on the corporette banner at the top of that page, it goes to https://corporette.com and the post shows up. No idea what’s going on.
Haha, I bought her album for $5 on amazon and I’m almost not ashamed to admit she’s my commuting album. ET is my favorite song, too – her stuff is so catchy.
SF Bay Associate
For b23 :) –
There’s an interesting entry in the Thin Pink Line today discussing a HuffPo article called “The Trouble with Bright Girls.” The hook is that “Bright Girls believe that their abilities are innate and unchangeable, while bright boys believe that they can develop ability through effort and practice.”
Agree? Disagree? Discuss! I always think it’s interesting how the messaging I received in my childhood, whether about my abilities or relationships or anything else, affects me to this day.
This was a really interesting article. I’ve always loved wrestling with and eventually mastering difficult material, BUT, my parents never told me I was smart, etc. They always stressed hard work and perserverence to me. I never really thought about it, but it all kind of makes sense.
My current challenge is having a big task in front of me and getting overwhelmed by everything it’s going to take to finish. Then I put it off for smaller, more discrete tasks that I can finish in a couple of hours. Any advice?
Make a plan of discreet tasks that will enable you to complete the big, overwhelming task.
I agree with AIMS. Not only does it actually look do-able that way, but finishing 1 or 2 of the items gets me closer on that impossible “journey of 1000 miles.” My last 1000-mile journey was my advanced degree, one or two classes at a time.
Haha, I was actually discussing the “Bright Girls” article with my husband recently! I’ve actually found it to be really true after thinking back to my education and overall attitude vs. his education and overall attitude. I don’t deal with children much, but I see the same issues mentioned in the article. I know reading that article really made me consider if I “quit” for silly reasons, when in fact, I just need to apply myself more. There’s been plenty of times when I’m having a blog-related issue that I would like my software engineer of a husband to help with… and he often responds, “There’s tutorials online, you can figure this one out yourself.” While it annoys me at first, it’s been helpful to find ways to not have to rely on him to help with the blog, since he’s not always around. Sometimes you just need a good kick in the pants, and boys seemed to get kicked a lot more than girls do!
This article makes me reflect on my success at school/intellectual things vs. sports/art things. When it came to school, my mom was firmly in the “you can do it if you just work harder” camp. While at the time it was upsetting to be told “there’s no reason for you to be doing average, you’re not average, so obviously you’re not trying hard enough”, I’m starting to realise it may have actually been good for me. On the other hand, no one pushed me like that when it came to sports or extracurricular activities, and maybe that’s why I think “I’m just no good at” sports, dancing, artistic things etc. I do try, but I admit there’s a little voice in my head that thinks “this is haaaaard, everyone else would be getting better at this and I’m not, I’m obviously just not good at it.”
This is exactly what I was looking for! :) I really wish my parents had pushed me harder. I’ve always been a smart girl, but I could have made better grades if I had applied myself.
Agreed. Thanks for posting this.
Threadjack prompted by b23’s plea:
Something I’ve thought about for a long time, and I thought it might be a good topic to pose to the Corporette hive: nose job. Not a huge change, but I have kind of a nob at the end of my nose a la Bill Clinton, and I’d like to make that smaller.
I haven’t actually contacted a plastic surgeon or anything. Has anyone here had one? Tips? Strong opinions?
I say don’t do it. Unless it’s torturing you, i think it could be something you may regret. I learned my lessons years ago, when I had a large mole removed. The doctor somehow managed to do a horrible job stitching me up and now the scar is double the size of the original mole. So i’ve learned that there is always a possibility for cosmetic surgery to go wrong and you can’t really go back.
I’ve known several people with badly botched nose jobs who all wish they hadn’t done it. I’ve never met someone who fessed up to having had it done and saying they loved it, but then again, they could just be keeping quiet.
If you do go for it, do your research on surgeons, look up their malpractice and discipline records, try to get some references – take it seriously, and don’t treat it as a bargain hunt.
Yeah, good advice. I couldn’t imagine trying to get a “deal” on something like plastic surgery and sacrificing quality in the process!
Second on research the surgeon. I have no complaints against plastic surgery, but something happened to me that scared me away from it. A few years back I was tossing around the idea of getting breast implants (I am not even an A, and I thought that small ones, to get me to a good, solid B with some possibility of clevage, would be nice.) I also had some old acne scarring on my face, so I set up a consult with a really prominent plastic surgeon. He’d done a lot of projects in the community and had a huge, fancy office and some nice pictures of his family on the web, so he seemed like the guy to pick.
Anyway, I went to the consult, tried on the fake boobs, it seemed fine. I said I’d think about it. Two months later, the surgeon was found dead of an overdose in his office. It was never clear exactly what happened (whether it was intentional or not), but the news broke that he had some pretty major malpractice actions pending against him.
I had never really decided whether to have it done or not, but it really shook me up that I would even have considered letting this guy put me under, not only with the malpractice accusations, but when he was clearly mentally unstable.
I have also considered getting implants, but the risks are not worth it. I’m pretty proportional, but it would be nice not to wear a push up bra!
Let’s not be calling people who commit suicide “clearly mentally unstable” please. Depression is a serious disease.
Of course it is. Depression a serious disease that leads to mental instability (when it gets to the point that the person is suicidal). Did you really think that I meant that statement as a flippant joke?
(Note: as I said, it’s not clear whether he committed suicide or not, so he might not have been depressed, but simply addicted. Either way, I wouldn’t want a person who was either so depressed they were on the verge of suicide or who was addicted to drugs operating on me.)
What else does “mentally unstable” mean, if not someone with a serious mental health issue (like suicidal depression)? I don’t think it was meant as an insult or a slur.
SF Bay Associate
Tragic Nose Job Exhibit A: Jennifer Grey. I doubt she went for a bargain plastic surgery.
I don’t think her nose job is technically bad… she just lost all her character. Which is something to remember, I agree.
SF Bay Associate
Agreed. It’s not a bad nose job (she looks great); it’s just tragic because she doesn’t look like herself anymore. My under-articulated point was that even a great nose job can be unfortunate.
OTOH, Jennifer Aniston’s “deviated septum” surgery turned out great for her. She looks great, and still looks like herself.
Yeah, hers is *extremely* subtle. I sometimes find myself second-guessing whether she even made any changes. Still, she looks great. Seems to be the way to go, perhaps.
Watch “true life: i had plastic surgery”! that show scared the bejesus out of me. If you still want a nose job after watching that show, then you should do it.
Your nose sounds just like mine, and I’ve also contemplated a nose job. At the end, though, I don’t think I will. I need to learn to love the nose God gave me!
My sister got a nose job a few years ago. I don’t think she needed one and she looks the same. If it is something that really, really, bothers you, then I would consider it. Of course research the doctor. I also had two friends who were going to get implants and after researching the doctor and the risks, they both decided against it. Personally, I would not get cosmetic surgery (unless I have children and it destroys my body). It’s probably not worth the risks. That being said , do what you think is best and good luck!
I haven’t had one, but one of my favorite bloggers has and she’s written about it a lot: http://www.eatthedamncake.com/category/nose/
I would love to have breast reduction surgery. I’m a 34DD and I’m otherwise very small and petite. I always feel as though my breasts overwhelm me and make me look much larger than I am. I hate that there are so many styles of clothing that don’t look good on me.
But, I’ve never actually looked into it seriously. I have no idea of the cost or the recovery time, etc.
Look into it seriously! Best decision I’ve ever made. It was covered by my insurance (and may well be by yours too — you just have to have the doctor take a minimum amount) so I just had a copay. I went from large DD to a small C. Recovery time: outpatient surgery, wanted to sit absolutely still for about 2 days, fully recovered in two-three weeks.
Threadjack: I got engaged two weeks ago, and won’t get married until 2012, but I am already second guessing myself re: changing my name. I had always planned to change my name, in part b/c I would like to have one family name for myself, husband, and kids, but also b/c I have the same name as a local politician who used to be a newscaster, and am constantly getting questions about whether I am the “real” ___ ___. Most of my friends have kept their name or hyphenated. I am an attorney, and have been in practice for five years. I work with another attorney, but not in a firm. Is it possible for me to gracefully transition to a married name without losing the goodwill I’ve built for myself over the past five years? What have other people done? Can I hyphenate for professional purposes only? Are there any issues with my law license if I try to use a different name professionally? I am sure other people have dealt with this – any advice?
I added Husband’s name to my legal name and did not drop my maiden name, so I am “K Maiden Married” legally. Professionally, I practice as “K Maiden” — the Bar told me that so long as I was consistent in my name and had the correct “practice” name registered w/ the Bar, I could use whatever name I wanted.
We have a child, so I thought it was important to have the same name, but honestly, 95% of the time I introduce myself as K Maiden, not as K Maiden Married (even when I’m doing something regarding child) and only as K Married when I’m doing something on behalf of Husband (or ordering room service)…. HTH.
As to the professional name, depends on your state, you should check with the Bar. I’m pretty sure in my state your legal name and your professional name have to match.
As to the name change, as a life-long hyphenate whose mother didn’t change her name on feminist grounds…the name change, not name change thing has been a real struggle for me. I think I’ve decided to keep my first last name (my mother’s last name) and change my second last name. But yeah, I reserve the right to change my mind.
I’ve seen the maiden name kept in almost like a middle name, as K suggests. It seems to work well for letting everyone associate the old and new names (now when I see something written by a lady before her marriage, I know it’s the same lady whose business card I am holding).
Can be a little awkward, though, in that no one is quite sure what the proper way to address you is.
For me, it was best to do a “clean break”–just dropped the maiden name and reinvented myself under the new name. But I was a little earlier in my practice than you, and didn’t have my maiden name on a lot of things that I wanted to follow me.
In no way do I mean to disrupt the conversation here, but I think there was a post about this a few weeks ago (or maybe just an extended conversation in the comments). There was some excellent advice in there if you can find that post for additional ideas.
I kept my name and we plan to have our children have both of our names. So they’ll be First HisLast MyLast, no hyphen in the last names and may or may not have middle names.
Much less hassle IMO.
I think you will be surprised at how adaptable people are and how quickly they just switch to your new name. I had only been practicing for two years when I got married, but lots of people from law school and clerking have tracked me down recently and only knew me under my old name. It helps that I am at the same firm when I married and if you type my old name into the search box, I pop up under my new name.
Think about friends of yours…how long did it take for you to think of them under their new name? With even some of my oldest friends, within a year I started thinking of them under their new name. Fellow corporettes have great suggestions if you want a hybird, but if you want to change your name, go for it!
If you’ve been practicing for five years, I probably wouldn’t do it – I’d probably leave it untouched legally, and use your spouse’s name or whatever hyphenate you come up with socially. I’m going through the reverse now (changing back to maiden name as a result of divorce) and it is a pain, and has resulted in some client/business associate/acquaintance confusion.
Typically, your legal name and the name on your bar license must match.
I grew up with a hyphenated last name (side effect of parents’ divorce). It was a pain-in-the-rear. Systems were ALWAYS getting it wrong, people asked if i was married from the time I was 16 on (and I looked young!). One of the best side effects for me about getting married was getting rid of that name :)
on the flip side, my aunt kept her name, and kids got her husbands’ – she said that this caused a lot of pain in the end and she wishes she hadn’t done it (Schools would be confused whether she was their mom, etc.).
So two data points that you can use as you wish.
Hmm, as a contrasting data point, my mother kept her name, too, while my siblings and I took our father’s last name. I can’t ever remember any confusion or trouble with it, and this was in the 80’s and 90’s. My mother says she’s never regretted it at all. The only drawback I can ever remember is people getting nosy about her reasons/marital status, and my mother would always tell them “it’s so that I don’t have to change it back after I leave him”, which seemed to shut them up (my parents have been happily married for over 30 years now).
Threadjack for B23’s benefit as much as my own:
How does one go about negotiating a change in job title while applying for jobs? I’m looking at a position labeled “Executive Assistant” but I should be able to apply work done towards an advanced degree to help on more substantive issues as well (i.e. extra work outside the job description). Thinking a less admin-focused title will help me in the long run. Any tips appreciated!
I don’t have any advice other than assuming it would be part of the negotiation invovled in accepting the position (just like pay). But just wanted to say you defiitely should go for it. In many ways, it’s almost more important than money. I still get angry anytime I see “assistant editor” on my resume for a job where I had full responsibilities for publication development and production management–no different than any MANAGING editor . It’s now more than a decade later and I’m in an executive position. Just always still there glaring at me. Always.
Agree, and I did this successfully when I accepted my last job. As with salary, you wait until you know they want you, and then bring up the issue of your title–having concrete reasons related to background, qualifications etc. as to why you should get an upgrade.
One tip, if you do take the job with a new title: make sure the whole company and all its systems are on board with the fact that you are not an X, but in fact are a Y. Ambiguity or disagreement as to your title (and thus, rank) can be very uncomfortable, and as you can imagine, having to correct people sucks. I am still worried about my own issue with this, at my last job, for reference purposes.
Second this advice and would add that you may want to come up with a possible title or two you could suggest when negotiations get to that point.
My title was once changed during a company reorganization to one that reflected such inane corporate-speak that I knew I’d die of embarrassment if I had to use it. I agonized for several days before coming up with an alternative and suggesting it to my supervisor. She immediately accepted it and I realized that she wasn’t wedded to that original title, she just couldn’t come up with anything better.
If you can save them the work of creating a title for you, you may have a better chance of getting it okayed.
Do you have one skill set in particular that you will be using? Maybe you could negotiate the title to something like “Marketing Assistant” or “Proposal Manager” or “Database Assistant”. If you’re working with someone directly on something that requires a specific skill set, could you negotiate for “Jr.” in the title, ie: “Jr. Database Manager” or “Jr. Account Representative”? This type of title might help you transition into a “Sr.” title later in your career.
My only tip would be to avoid asking or taking a title that is obviously too lofty for your experience/tasks. I worked for a start-up right out of college, so I was LITERALLY the entire marketing department, and one “perk” was that I could choose my own title. My younger siblings suggested “Supreme Chancellor of the Marketing Universe”, or something equally ridiculous for a person with less than a year of experience (think President or Director). While it would be fun to run around telling everyone that I was a VP or Director, it would’ve looked silly on a resume, and called into question the legitimacy of the position. So, I would suggest resisting the temptation to negotiate for a title above your paygrade/skill set/years of experience/day-to-day tasks.
This reminds me of the debate on The Office – “Assistant Regional Director” v. “Assistant to the Regional Director.” Sounds like you want to be more in the “Assistant [Boss’s Title]” category.
my back hurts
Threadjack! I have been doing more travel than usual for work and my cute tote is hurting my back because I have my laptop, bag of toiletries, chargers etc in it. I think I need a backpack. Any suggestions for one that is corporette worthy?
My previous comment disappeared. Trying again:
Also: look at Tumi, Brics, and Longchamp.
I’d recommend a bag with wheels over a backpack any day.
L from Oz
I just got back from a three-country trip, involving one flight and a lot of trains. Some stations had no lifts, there was a lengthy walk from the terminal to arrivals when I flew that involved escalators, stairs and crowds, there was frequently no space on full trains to stow even a small suitcase – my backpack was really a life-saver. Oh, and try walking through a cobbled city with wheels. Ouch.
My backpack is plain black, without logos, but has a decent harness system. Anything else would cause me extra discomfort and inconvenience – and having my hands free is a major bonus when travelling alone. If someone finds that unprofessional, well, they probably work somewhere that funds their travel better! I only get taxis reimbursed if it’s 6am or 11pm, and I rarely travel at those times.
my back hurts
Thanks ladies! I have to do subway steps, so I’d prefer a backpack over a bag with wheels.
I’ll throw out a threadjack.
How do you deal with the “mean girls” (and I guess, guys) of law school? It is getting on my nerves. I find there are a LOT of very self-centered, manipulative people in law school (but I do know some awesome people as well). Even if you try to avoid them, they somehow manage to creep into your life.
I know the best thing to do is ignore them, but sometimes all you want is a little vindication, or rather assurance from others in terms of other stories people have, or knowing that later on in their legal career department it will come back to haunt them. I know that may sound ridiculous, but it’s getting hard to tolerate!
Anyone else experience this? Does it get ANY better in practice? I fear it will only get worse.
The vindication makes you one of them! Ignore it, and know that professional behavior/ethical treatment of others will pay off.
I am sad to say I know few lawyers who are happy with their career choice. However, I’ve found that consistently the ones that are happy are those who practice law in ways that align with their values.
I so feel you. Sometimes it helps me to think about all of the great things I have that are a direct result of my not being a mean girl (e.g. friends that are kind and who will love me forever, great relationships with some of my professors, will hopefully have referals from people I did not screw over while in law school, etc.). I don’t know if that makes me an internal mean girl, but it does help keep me sane.
The best response is to just not care. Like, not simply ignore them and wait until they go away – just don’t care. It’s hard to actually do, especially if you don’t have that attitude in general, but if you let them get to you then they’ll get to you.
I found this to be a general problem in law school – people just care soooooo much. I guess that’s how they got where they are (i.e., made good grades in college because they cared, had good extracurriculars in HS because they cared) but in the scheme of things, the things that seem uber important in law school just don’t matter in the real world. Go to lectures, take notes, do well on exams, and check out. Meet the people you like for lunch outside of school or at a bar on Saturday night. In the real world, no one cares if you put a space between “F.” and “Supp.” or if you were X position on a journal or merely Y position. It’s just a way for other law students to torture you.
I’ve been tortured for the last year by the editor in chief of my journal (I’m a different exec board position) and I finally said, very , er, firmly, “I have a lot going for me right now and I really don’t care what you do. I don’t need you and I don’t need to waste my time on you.” This was Saturday. I’m still cringing over it, but his attitude since I said that has been drastically improved. wth?!? all I can say is that I joined a professional network in my city full of wonderful women attorneys and I am so glad I did because it made me realize everything peanut said.
Rise above it. I did not like most of the women I went to law school with because of the high school type games. I recently encountered a former class mate whom I especially disliked for a variety of reasons and was very proud of myself for being the bigger person (aside from my self-congratulating) and approaching her, asking about her practice and her family even though she clearly wanted to avoid me the entire conference (avoided eye contact when it was obvious she had seen me, changed direction of where she was walking to not encounter me, and even continuosly scanned the room around me when I did engage her for less than five minutes). It was hard to just be friendly and not stoop to the avoidance tactics but it made me feel good that I ignored it all.
My very practical advice as someone who recently finished law school…I always stuck with the few friends I did think were great in law school and minimized my interaction with the mean people only to what was necessary. Spending your free time with non-law friends helped!
Wow thanks for all of the comments! It definitely means a LOT to know that people are willing to make some random girl online feel better!
I agree with the non-law friends comment. I moved to law school from far away so all of my good non-law friends are spread out across the country. Trying to meet new people outside of law is HARD! Especially in the dating department, but that’s another story :).
Yes on the non-law friends! I joined a running club and have become friends with tons of people who have nothing to do with law and don’t care at all about making a journal, getting an A rather than an A-, or obsessing over what interview slot I got at OCIs. It is unbelievably refreshing.
Looking for groups that reflect your hobbies can be a great way to start.
Ugh I hate it when people brag about their job interviews/offers or grades. No one cares! I am not your mom! So frustrating especially if i am not your friend.
I found the “nice people” of law school hanging out at the legal aid clinic instead of the law review office, mostly. Gross generalization, but I wish I’d checked there first.
Don’t worry springtime, it’s not your imagination–there are a lot of jerks in law school. Law school tends to attract jerks, and it tends to make jerks out of perfectly lovely folks. In some respects it gets better after you get out.
Totally second this! I had the same problem in law school, and I (eventually) found that the more public-interest-oriented types were likelier to be nice to me. I’m less than a year out, and I can’t tell you for sure that it gets better, but the jerks are in many ways easier to spot and easier to avoid after law school.
As someone who is really a girl’s girl…I was in a sorority, after all…my recommendation is to kill them with kindness, if it’s someone you have to be in direct interaction with. This has been my go-to since the days on my Panhellenic (gah).
There was a specific girl when I was in 1L that seemed to have a huge problem with me…complete mean girl behavior. I just decided to smile at her a lot, be nice and not sink to her level of catty comments. I would just laugh like she had made a joke. Fastforward a year later and we’re friends. Turned out she really needed someone to confide in and talk to and since I was killing her with kindness, she figured I was someone she could do that with.
It can’t hurt and who knows…some of the girls being mean now might turn out to be someone you could actually become friends with. A lot of them are putting on an act, honestly.
M in CA
They’re just trying to play head games with you. Don’t let them. Run your own race. And remember: your professional reputatation starts on Day One of law school. I’m sure you’re not the only one on the receiving end of their meanness, and other people will remember these folks down the line (and not in a good way). That’s their problem (the meanies’, I mean), not yours.
Hang in there! :)
I had a lot of this in college with sorority sisters, and some of this at previous workplaces. The people who are like this are generally miserable and want to take it out on a convenient target: the rest of us. Either that, or they’ve got priorities that are completely different from mine. When you’re in the gossipy, back-stabbing muck, it’s difficult to grasp that the mucky environment isn’t all there is to life. But eventually expanding my horizons to other activities and friends was a huge help. Whether the jerks get theirs later on, I don’t know. But I’m more focused on living my own life now.
I dealt with a Mean Girl at law school. We became acquainted the first day when she asked what my LSAT was, and announced she was waitlisted at a “real” school. As the semester progressed, she further evidenced her (lack of) character. I made the mistake of mentioning my distaste for her behavior to a friend at school, who to my shock turned around and told the Mean Girl. The Mean Girl then upped her ante of “charm” in my direction.
What finally worked for her to leave me alone was the next time she said something charming to my face, I looked her straight in eye and played sweet and innocent. I kept my tone sweet as pie and pretended that we were having a perfectly friendly conversation. She was obviously surprised and ratcheted up her “charm,” but I didn’t back down and started talking about how we should have lunch together etc. She eventually gave up and began to ignore me instead of being nasty to my face, but stayed nasty behind my back. I ignored it. She later transferred from our Top 30 to a Top-4 (clearly, there is no justice in the world). I expect she would say something nasty about me if I came up.
My recommendation: I felt slick for getting her to leave me alone to my face, but she would still badmouth me if given the chance. It wasn’t worth it. Keep your opinions about these Mean Girls to yourself and to friends outside of law school. You never know who is reliving high school by trying to get the Mean Girl to like her by passing the Mean Girl information.
There are plenty of jerks practicing law, but it’s much easier to avoid them when you’re not trapped in the same building all day and taking classes together.
Anyone have advice for settling back into mundane day-to-day work after the excitement of a trial? I’m finding it difficult to concentrate.
Love the dress, but I’m rather short-waisted. Unless the dress is shorter through the torso than it appears, it just wouldn’t work. At.All. But – does it look to anyone else as though some weird photoshopping went on there?
I agree… I thought the torso of the dress looked unusually long as well.
I thought her head was unusually small.
This is pretty, but it makes me think of the dress in the Seinfeld episode where Jerry thought his girlfriend only had one dress.
Anon for today
I’m probably going to get attacked for this but I say go for it. I had plastic surgery (not a nose job) several years ago and it is one of the best decisions I ever made.
My only advice is to think very hard about the pros and cons and also the reasons behind why you want to do it. I made the decision for me, and me only, and I feel more beautiful, confident, etc. because of it.
I would also do your homework in terms of plastic surgeons before you make the decision. Ask around, check him or her out with the various boards, etc. When you schedule your appointment, ask to see a lot of pictures. Also ask if he/she has any contact info for past patients who are willing to share their experiences (I’m not sure how common that is, but it is something to inquire about). Finally, make sure you are comfortable with your chosen doctor — the more comfortable you are the more likely you will be able to communicate your expectations effectively and thus end up with a better result.
Thanks for the candid response. I have done a little browsing online, but all the “info” out there seems to be sponsored by plastic surgeons. Hard to find disinterested advice anywhere!
Also, how did you decide the appropriate time to have the surgery? What was recovery like?
Anon for today
Look at the American Board of Plastic Suregons (I think) it list all board certified plastic surgeons in your area. It is a great place to start. I’d also ask around to see if anyone you know has had “reconstructive surgery” performed by a plastic surgeon and would offer a recommendation.
I actually had my operation in college – the operation was on Thursday recovered Friday drove back to school Saturday went to class/follow up appointment on Monday. But I was younger, not sure if I could do that now. Recovery wasn’t awful but it wasn’t great either; make sure you follow doctors orders with the rest though — your recover will be much easier!
Love this dress! I have a similar DvF, but sleeveless with more stripes. Here are some fashion questions for this style dress on which I’d love to get some advice from the community.
Question 1: Blazer or sweater over top?
Question 2: Black, nude or colourful pumps?
1. Both blazers and cardigans work well with this style.
2. I lovelove nude pumps, but if the stripes on your dress are black, then black would definitely go! I am generally rather color-averse, but you could try a purple or a red pump….
Can I get any of these directly from Saks? They are running a sale next week and I hope some of these will be available there.
Threadjack for b23!
I applied to several companies for the same position a month ago, and haven’t heard anything back. This weekend I took a long look at my resume and decided to restructure it in order to better represent the relevant experiences for the industry. I definitely need to send some follow ups ASAP — does it make sense to also send along an updated copy of my resume?
I would send it and just say, “Here’s an updated version of my resume.” Just be honest – like in your post. There are three options:
1. They weren’t going to hire you anyway, and they’ll throw it away.
2. They were going to hire you anyway, and this won’t screw it up.
3. They were on the fence, and this will boost your chances!
Good luck! (And I hope it’s #2 or #3. :) )
I haven’t had a nose job, but did have some nose issues that would have been more easily addressed by one ( a deviated septum among other things). I didn’t get the nose job due to recovery time/expense, but I’d be curious to hear how people dealt with this in a professional environment. It strikes me as something where you’d have to wear a brace or bandages for a while, wouldn’t you?
This dress is one primary color shy of being a semaphore flag.
I have several Anne Klein Platinum suits that I stocked up because I truly loved the fit (I found several suits that had shorter, less boxier jackets that fit me very well). Anyway, the suits are the seasonless wool – 98% wool, 2% other. The jackets were $198 each, don’t remember how much the pant separate was. The jackets are pilling very badly. The pinstripe jackets seem to be pilling worse than the the solid colors. My navy blue pinstripe, the pilling started after the second wear. I’m not only bummed, but really perplexed? I have many other seasonless wool suits from other brands (BR, Ann Taylor) and never had an issue with pilling. Has anyone else had a nearly 100% wool suit pill badly? Is it just the blend of wool Anne Klein uses?