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Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Silk Linen One-Button Jacket

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. 117.indexedEven though we've already had our round-up of summer blazers, this beautiful silk/linen one has still caught my eye. Part of it might be the styling — she does look distinctive with the scarf so neatly folded (duplicative on someone under 40? Debate, ladies…) but part of it is the quality: Lora Piana fabric. Grosgrain details. Fully lined in silk. The gorgeous blazer is $698 at Brooks Brothers. Lora Piana® Silk Linen One-Button Jacket Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 1/1/25 (HAPPY NEW YEAR!):

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

226 Comments

      1. They look good! And not nearly as orange as I thought henna’ed nails would look. Have things simmered down with your parents and beige guy?

        1. Yes, parents have simmered down, thankfully. The world wide auntie network has spread it far and wide that I was the one who said no. I tried to re-engage the guy to not be so hasty but he doesn’t really seem interested in getting to know each other. And he sends me business like texts perfunctorily once a week, like I’m a friendly coworker or something. Shrug. There is a better woman out there for him, somewhere.

          1. Ugh, sorry about that. Maybe he thinks you’re beige too, which is totally fine! The auntie network can be helpful but also really annoying. Like they think any girl over age 25 or so should just jump at the chance to marry, but then have all these crazy criteria for guys. It’s dumb.

    2. I love your nails! And would love a quick tutorial on how to get the same look . . . might try this next weekend.

      1. The key to getting dark nails consists of four things:
        1. A large drink
        2. An up-to-date Netflix queue (or Hulu or Amazon or whatever you crazy kids are using these days)
        3. Pajamas (the rattier and stained, the better)
        4. This specific nail mehndi http://tinyurl.com/6mcqu2c

        Pee first. Apply it on your nails – make sure to really glop it on and cover your nails. Watch a movie or three. Remove. The end. You can use any other mehndi concoction you have but the color may not be as dark. It will stain your skin if you go outside the lines but normal handwashing will fade it out in 24-36 hours.

        1. Thanks! The Netflix/PJs part sounds exactly like how I want to spend next weekend anyway, so it will be great if I can get nice looking nails out of it. I can never stop chipping my polish all to ruins, so I’m really looking forward to trying a stain like this.

        2. “Pee first.” Wiser words were never spoken.

          Last week I had a serious fit of questionable judgment. I painted my nails in the morning before work while wearing pants with a button fly. Hilarity ensued.

        3. Ru, do you ever put henna in your hair? I’ve done it before (always used light mountian natural brand) but am wondering what your favorite brand is and if you have any tips on getting the most color saturation and getting the product to really cover all of the hair.

          1. Sorry, that was me -forgot to change my name back. now you all know which poster had the yucky infection!

          2. I’ve used the cheap $0.99 powders from the Indian groceries – mix with brewed black tea and lemon juice and let it rest for an hour to a few days (in the fridge) and globbed it on my hair. Kept it on for like 12 hours? SUCH A PAIN to remove (you will need a wide-toothed comb in the shower). Actually, for all kinds of henna applications, heat helps A LOT. Keep a lit candle to warm your hands over or put on a shower cap and blowdry your head with henna on.

            But since we shampoo so much, the best tip I really have is to regularly apply every week. And use real powders from the motherlands.

    1. I personally wouldn’t, but it’s pretty! It seems more appropriate for a baby shower or similar.

      1. Plus it is VERY white, which for ME, mean’s that I will certainely eat and leave MARINARA sauce on it. But even if I did NOT, it would loose it’s pure white color after a while.

        I spoke with my dad about the office thing. He said I should tell the manageing partner that I have SENIOIRITY, so I should get to stay. I do NOT want to sit in the back by the copier and the KITCHEN b/c there is alot of noise back there, and I do NOT want to be near the food and cookie’s. FOOEY!

    3. Personally, no. I look young enough already, so I avoid these types of styles, which read extra-young to me.

    4. I’m short, so I imagine the skirt would fall lower on me, and therefore I say yes, but I would serious it up with a blazer and closed-toe shoes.

    5. I always seem to be the most conservative dresser on this blog (open toed shoes? never!) but I would totally wear that dress to work, with nude pumps and my hair up in a twist.

    6. Yes if I did not have court or any hearings that day. Maybe with a more neutral sweater for my chilly office and some closed toe pumps in gray or nude.

    7. Interesting to read the different responses! I’m super color-phobic about work clothes (black, black, and more black) so I’ve been wanting to branch out, but thought this might read too “sundress”

    9. Absolutely. I would wear it with a white blazer or maybe a yellow cardigan and probably nude pumps.

      1. Yes, if no big meetings or court. I’d cut the cuteness factor with a white blazer (not a cardigan, which I think would read baby/wedding shower) and non-sandal shoes.

  3. Tres elegant! Somehow i can never get this sort of styling right, but I love it when others do!

  4. Beautiful cut, though I would want a second button (which would fall, incidentally, right about where the model’s hands are – posed that way on purpose?)

    I like the scarf look in theory, but am afraid in person it would look like I forgot to put on a shirt! (Ringing vague bells of someone using a blue scarf-like fabric to fill in for a missing top on Project Runway a few years ago?)

    1. I think her blouse is beige. So wearing a blouse or shell in non-fleshtones would help.

  5. Clueless – What is Lora Piana fabric? And should I care if something is made out of branded fabric?

    1. I think it’s a very fancy mill in Italy. I get the impression the fabric is better but don’t know it justifies the price (although good fabric plus good BB tailoring doesn’t make 600 seem unreasonable to me).

    2. Italian fabric house, mostly known for suit fabrics, cashmere blends in particular. I’d look at fit first when considering a suit. If the fit works, then sure, pay up for the fabric.

  6. I agree with Cat; I would want a second button. The single button looks higher than I would like it to fall.

    I think the scarf looks beautiful. I sometimes wear a scarf in a similar way with a three button jacket; when buttoned, the jacket completely covers any collarless shirt I wear under it anyway, so the scarf just peeks out, almost as if it was a high-collared blouse. (and I’m under 40, btw).

    1. I wear a scarf folded like this, too, although like Amanda says, with a higher-cut blazer so that there isn’t a big area revealed as on the model. (I’m under 30, so here’s my vote for no age restrictions on this style of scarf-wear …)

      1. I’m all for bringing scarves to work (I’m in my late 20s, and can’t resist a good silky scarf). They’re excellent for dressing up trenches and blazers and can be really handy when your shirt falls…short.
        It can be difficult to find a nice shirt that covers everything you want it to- I’ve had more than one meeting where I realized that once I leaned over, the shirt got a little low. Scarf + blouse= problem solved.

  7. LOVE this jacket. I don’t think I could pull it off with the scarf, because I think scarves look a bit off (to be kind) on people my age.

    TJ: I’m already having a bad morning. I have to take medicine that makes me tired (like, fall asleep standing) and a bit out of it, but I’m at work and staying home is not an option this week. (On another note, thanks to those that helped me find urgent care this past Thursday!) Then I find out a meeting is canceled that I wanted to wear my new suit to, so I can’t wear it now and won’t have a chance for a while. Then there is a little awkwardness with recognition of life events in my office. (I’d explain more, but I feel like people could already figure out who I am from this!) Finally, this is on top of a wicked busy time for me that also means I don’t get to see my friends much lately and I should have. I really just want to go sleep, but I have a TON of stuff to do at work and have to get it done. SO, basically, nothing major happened, just a bunch of frustrating things within about a half hour of each other, and now I’m in a blah mood but have tons and tons to do. /rant, thanks for reading. =/

    1. Aww, hugs to you. You should treat yourself to your fave coffee and lunch/dinner foods today.

    2. Commiseration – that’s what we’re here for. Treat yourself to that latte that has way too many calories and set up timed fun breaks to look forward to so that you can focus on your work. Maybe you can plan a different outfit to be excited about.

      Aaaaand, I have to take medicine because allergies make me naturally drowsy. So, life ain’t that bad =).

      1. Thanks to you both – I’m going to treat myself tonight! (I shouldn’t today, because I have food here…)

        I just hope I don’t fall asleep or do anything crazy in any meetings today! How awkward would that be!

        (I’m trying to be positive and get out of this funk mood, so thank you for helping! I might take your suggestion and still splurge at lunch, since I don’t really like what I brought (but it was in my fridge and little else was).)

  8. Driving to work this morning I saw a young woman getting into her car in a beautiful dress – short (knee-length) but a little flowy (like chiffon) belted with what looked like a turquoise belt. So beautiful together! I would never have thought about combining plum and turquoise. Unfortunately, it ended up looking a bit too c*cktail-y for work, maybe because it was flowy. Maybe she had a jacket that made it more work appropriate. It’s so hot and humid this morning (raining torrentially all weekend) that nobody would wear their jacket on the way to work. I ended up changing on the way out the door into something I could wear rain boots with if I end up having to leave the building.

  9. Hello, I apologize for hijacking the thread. My Sr. Counsel received an invitation to a Corporate Counsel Summit group. Is anyone familiar with this organization and do you find the membership useful? Thank you in advance.

  10. The cut of this blazer is beautiful, but I’ve decided to swear off linen now that I commute to work by car. I’m a wrinkled mess before I even step into the office!

    1. I agree with this. Whether one button or two, I do not have a job or the money for such a blazer, and even if I did have a job, the concept of getting behind the wheel of a car wearing this blazer, in white, nonetheless, would not be a good exercise in judgment. If I had a good job, I would also have a chauffeur to whisk me about town in an airconditioned coach; whether a Mercedes, BMW, or Maybach, but seeing as this is not likely to happen any time soon, I would also not wear this blazer in the dirty yellow cabs I have ridden in lately, either.

    2. I commute by car, too. I take my suit jacket off and hang it on a hanger in the backseat. Voila.

  11. Speaking of lovely jackets. Asking again. Did anyone watch “Desiree” segment on WNTW with stacy and clinton last week? Drooling over the pink jacket with a bow/tie on the front. No listing online of what she bought and where. Anyone spotted something like that yet?

    Thanks!

    1. Have you tried asking Clinton? He actually responds to people who post on his Facebook page.

  12. Update! Last Monday I posted a sad note in the Coffee Break thread about completely missing an issue in a memo to the big boss.

    Anyway, I put the memo in a drawer for 2 days because it was bumming me out (and I had a million other things to do), then I got it back out and ruthlessly cut the bad parts, did a million hours of research, and wrote up the correct issue. I turned it in, and he emailed me last night saying that I did a good job. I also came in this morning and he’d drawn a smiley face on it. Success!

    Thanks to all who talked me down. I was afraid that he would no longer think I was doing a good job, but apparently that was silly.

    2. These things are almost never as bad as we think they are. Glad it all worked out!

    3. As an adult woman, I too would love the fact that he drew a smiley face on this memo. Congrats!

    7. I think you found yourself a new mentor! I am so glad he acknowledged your hard work.

      1. Duuuuuude. It would be quite excellent to have this person as my mentor. Like, seriously.

    8. Yesssss!! Love these kinda stories. Will keep in mind next time I screw up at work (it’s inevitable I imagine) that there’s always a chance to turn a bad thing around.

    9. I may have to steal the smiley face idea. For the right junior I think that would be fun! And congratulations :)

      1. The smiley face is coveted around here. He gives them out very sparingly, and many associates keep a smiley face memo in a folder for years.

        I’m sure it’s silly to other grown ups looking in, but it’s a Big Deal.

        1. When Peggy Noonan was a speechwriter for President Reagan, she once cut out a smiley he’d drawn on a speech, taped it to her shirt, and wore it around the WH all day. Not silly to appreciate accolades!

  13. I’m hoping to buy my sister a piece of David Yurman jewelry for an upcoming celebration. I know I’ve seen David Yurman on some flash sale sites, but don’t know the easiest way to find when/if the brand will be available on Gilt or RueLaLa. Does anyone have a system for finding a brand they like on sale? Or do you know if David Yurman’s pieces ever go on sale at non-flash sale stores? TIA!

    1. Call the David Yurman outlet in Las Vegas. I have ordered pieces from there before at a signficant discount. Some popular items will never be on sale (cable link necklace, for example), but it’s worth a try!

    2. Neiman Marcus Last Call stores carry discounted David Yurman. They don’t have it on their website but they usually have a decent selection in store – not the popular items (which are never on sale on Gilt or Ruelala anyway), but still a good selection.

    3. I’ve also seen it a lot at consignment shops. My mom bought a piece for me off of ebay.

  14. I;m interested in starting a course of antidepressants, but didn’t mention it to my doctor when I was there last week for a sinus thing. I’ve been to him about 4 times already this year, and I’m afraid he already thinks I am crazy. Should I call back and see him again this week? Call a psychiatrist? I’m really out of my element here.

    1. Are you sure it’s not your allergy/sinus issues making you feel fatigued and weary? I was of the same opinion until I finally honed in on the right treatment for me and I suddenly didn’t feel like cr@p all the time. Just fyi.

      1. Thought of you Thursday night, Godzilla, when my friend visiting from TX said she’d gone off of her allergy shots and felt so much better! Poor thing is living on a ranch with mini-cows and she’s allergic to most grass. But I think she finally has it under control. She had a chronic sinus/ear infection.

        1. Awww, hugs to your friend! You know, I felt like such a freak when I had my tea party this weekend (which was awesome, btw) and when people ask me what I do these days, all I could honestly say is that I hang out with doctors and pharmacists. Seriously, I spend way too much time with medical professionals as a patient but I can see an end!

          1. My pharmacist now knows me and while that may not be unusual in smaller cities or at the non-chain pharmacies, being recognized at a Manhattan drug store means I am in there far too often.
            And to anon – your doctor will not think you are crazy. If you want a referral to a psychiatrist (or need one for insurance purposes), go to your GP, if not you can try and find a psychiatrist. I had a complete emotional/mental breakdown earlier this year because I kept explaining away/ignoring my depression symptoms until I had a full on panic attack at a doctor’s appointment. It took some time to get out of crisis mode because I let it sink so far but there was something really comforting about having help with the chemical component. If you are considering it, do something about it now before you reach an even darker point. Best of luck and know that you are not alone in this but for whatever reason it is really, really hard to admit (but maybe because of the overachieving chicks demographic!).

    2. I love my NP, who is in family practice. I feel like I can tell her anything, and she just helped me adjust my antidepressant due to some life issues. If you are worried about how your doctor will react when you go to see him about this, maybe he’s not a good fit for you?

  15. I’m a no on white blazers. Put a nametag on her and she looks like my dermatologist.

    1. Much more attractive than my dermatologist, I have to say (he’s a 70 year old dude).

          1. Yes, she’s one of the doctors who started Proactive before selling it. She’s also the founder of Rodan + Fields skincare line

          2. What Makeup Junkie said. I’m fortunate that she practices in Oakland.

            And the Rodan+Fields line is the bomb.

    2. I just saw a new dermatologist last week and he is seriously hot. So in my mind right now, looking like a dermatologist isn’t such a bad thing. But, as he is a man, I kinda doubt he would be wearing a blazer like this one…

      1. although I saw a young, attractive derm for a skin cancer screening a couple of years ago and it was a bit mortifying/nerve racking to have him inspecting every inch of my skin……….

        1. Eh, I thought I would feel the same way but this guy was very professional and had a great sense of humor, so any potential awkwardness was mostly diffused. I love it when I can find doctors who are 100% in the right profession, it makes things so much more pleasant.

    3. Yeah I keep trying to make the white blazer thing work for me as a summer alternative to black but need to give it up.

  16. I like this. I have been looking for a white blazer for a while actually. Thanks to some suggestions from the hive last week, I was inspired to really focus my search. Success! I found what I was looking for at Bloomingdale’s (the Aqua Girlfriend blazer) – very flattering, under $100 (25% less tomorrow) and will go with both work attire and weekend clothes. Sitting in my cart as we speak. Now, here’s hoping I can avoid staining it until at least September….

      1. Beautiful! I like that it not linen and looks substantial enough not to be see-through if wearing darker colors underneath. Excellent choice AIMS!

  17. Somebody please explain what’s with the scarves over 40? Too old-lady/dowdy/style clueless for anybody younger?

    1. Hm, I don’t know. I wear silk scarves all the time, and while I guess sometimes I think they might make me look a bit stuffy (I’m much younger than 40), I like them and they are unique. Plus they are a nice way to tie colors together in an outfit and have fun with bolder colors. I’ve worn scarves to interviews before and felt nice/conservative/fine, but who knows. It’s definitely a bit of an anomoly on younger people it seems.

      1. Thanks for explaining. Yes, scarves can be wonderful. I already have salt & pepper hair (can’t be bothered to start coloring) so my being over 40 is already undeniable.

      1. This! Every woman under 40 wearing a silk scarf, at least to me, looks contrived.

  18. Ah, scarves. I love scarves, and I am over 40, so I guess I am allowed to.
    However, I have a short neck and this greatly limits my styling options. Anyone in a similar predicament? Suggestions?

    1. Don’t do what the lady in the photo did. Pick thin long scarves – wrap it around your neck once and then knot it lower, at least a handspan below your clavicle, like bowtie blouses.

      1. Thank you, but won’t the loop around the neck visibly shorten it?
        A knot around the clavicle level is just about the only option I use. And I shy away from long ends, so this leaves me with only smaller square scarves.

        1. You don’t have to loop it around – just tie it below your clavicle. But go for the longer ones, it’ll lengthen your…what is the word…..collar? Your virtual collar? It’ll make your neckline look longer. But this also depends on the bust situation as well, it’s definitely a balancing act.

      1. Flattering it may be, but what’s the point of a beautiful scarf if you twist and knot it out of all recognition?

        1. You can’t really see the pattern, but I think that’s true of most scarf-tying methods, and you can still see the beautiful colors. Anyway, this is what works for me.

    3. I love scarves, too, and my issue is that I’m busty. Wearing a scarf tied like the model with the BB blazer would create way more volume between chin and nipples than I need. I try to use scarves to create length, which may be a shorter-necked person’s objective, too. My favorite scarves are lightweight and very long, so that when draped around the back of my neck and untied, they reach to at least my waist, and sometimes to my knees. With a dress, I like to wear one just draped over the back of my neck and hanging down my front, with a single, loose knot that sits somewhere between bust and waist level.

  19. Duplicative? I don’t understand what you mean here. And I’m under 40 and love scarves.

    1. I think Kat meant “capable of being replicated?”

      I have a few scarves but rarely wear them because they’re always getting in the way or untying themselves. Also, I have a bit of a mental block in that scarves are unusual enough around my office that I would feel very “look at me and my scarf, aren’t I elegant” – even though I wear bold colors otherwise. Any tips to help scarf newbies enjoy them?

      1. Safety pin the back of the knot so that it stays in place (secret hijabi skillz to the rescue).

  20. TJ – looking for hotel recommendations for Nice and Monte Carlo. Just staying for a couple of nights so don’t need anything fancy but my SO and I are past the student hostel stage. In Nice, close to beach and/or Olde Town would be great; in MC, close to the casino of course :-). Thanks!

    1. Don’t know about Monte Carlo but I would recommend staying in Nice and taking the bus to Monte Carlo for the day. It is easy to do and cheap, whereas I strongly suspect staying in Monte Carlo is not cheap at all.

      Unfortunately I can’t remember the name of the hotel I stayed at in Nice, but there are lots so you should have no problem….

  22. A few months back, I sought advice from the commenters on this website regarding whether I should apply to an assistant prosecutor job, despite my civil law background. As an update, I made my way through all the interviews and was offered the position! After a lot of thought, input from recent graduates my own age, and advice from more senior attorneys, I have decided that I am going to accept ths job! I am very excited about this decision and really looking forward to the highly challenging and rewarding role. Thanks again to those who responded to my first post.

    4. Excellent! I switched from civil to prosecution a few years back. It will be a bit of a learning curve, but the work is so much more rewarding and there is so much more individual opportunity to lead cases, go to court, etc., at least vis a vis my old firm.

  23. Getting really impatient and frustrated about this whole job hunting “game” …too “over-qualified” because of what I’ve done post-Master’s, but no doctorate makes me underqualified for the next step up. Ending up in the middle and there are apparently no jobs to hire me for in this middle space. Calling today to find out how much longer before my unemployment runs out but am really getting freaked out that I won’t have a job before that time comes and that I’ll have to live on credit cards indefinitely and then ??? Why can’t I find enough skype therapy clients and people who need research or writing done that I can work for myself?!

    1. Hi K! Keep your chin up and keep looking. Something has to eventually come along. I’ve actually been thinking of emailing you. I have a good friend going through a rough time including some mental health things and I think I need some professional advice on how to be a good friend, not enable, not judge, but know when to step in and stop her from doing something unsafe, etc. I need tips on how to respond when she excitedly tells me a plan to do something that is so obviously a bad idea and will result in nothing but sadness and tears later without her getting mad that I’m judging her, thinks she’s stupid, thinks she’s a bad person, etc. How much would you charge for an online session of friendship coaching lol??

      1. aww, you’re so sweet to think of me! Shoot me an email? And FYI, there are actually a lot of people who see a therapist for coaching rather than for therapy, specifically for reasons like this; not their own mental health exactly but guidance in life or in business or career or the like!

    2. How can I get more info on your skype therapy/coaching? Or can you suggest someone else who does this? I’m in my 20s and ridiculously confused about life right now, but I have a hard time taking off work to go to someone in person.

      1. shoot me an email? munchkin 1616 at juno dot com (it’s so weird to use personal email to talk about work stuff but my work email is my name, which I know we don’t use here, so forgive me!)

    3. Can you share some more information about the online therapy here, such as cost, link to info, email to contact? I imagine some here may use or pass on the information (myself included).

      In regards to what you seemed focused on, I’m sorry about the unemployment/lack of jobs. I have been told in the past that I am too qualified as well, which seems so frustrating. I think sometimes you can counter it by explaining that you are more interested in this line of work, intend to stay for a long time, but it’s tough.

      Money is stressful, but remember that there are many things more important: health, family, friends, and happiness.

      1. Hi! Essentially, the online therapy that I do has 2 options; one more of a traditional therapy except that we are looking into computer cameras rather than at each other in the same room, the other is more of a coaching option. Traditional therapy is exactly what you’d expect (you have some things to work through, you come to talk), coaching is more about getting from where you are to where you want to be (wanting to become more organized, wanting to start dating, wanting to build your business, needing motivation and someone from outside your head to help you to navigate the road moving forward in some life area).

        Pricing is sliding scale for those who need it, but typical pricing ranges from $120-$150 in this economy. I’m totally willing to do a c*por*tte discount… or a JSFAMO discount, if you will or one for those who book/pay for multiple sessions at once.

        Hope this info helps, feel free to email me, I’ll be happy to give you my professional email address (which I don’t post here because it’s my name)! :)

    1. Me too – took all the time I was supposed to be drafting a mediation statement to read it. But in the end, I found it very unsafisfactory — kind of like the ending to a Pat Conroy novel.

    3. lots of great stuff, too – just picked up a pair of nude heels that i’m hoping will be the right replacement for my current, on-their-last-legs pair.

    4. Thanks for the heads up!! Got the Cole Haan Air Violet in Nude (because I loved the purple air violet someone else posted up here a few weeks ago so much). You guys rock for putting up all these great deals. and great shoes!!

    6. Oh Cat, you are evil!

      Just replaced my Air Tali wedges that I pretty much wore out last summer!

  26. TJ: My really amazing DH is having surgery next week. He will need to be pretty immobile for at least a couple of weeks and then crutches after that. Any ideas for things I can get for him to make the time more bearable? He is usually really active, so staying in bed all day will be a major adjustment. FWIW, he’ll need to be doing physical therapy several times a week, but otherwise mostly at home.

    1. I had a tough guy friend in that same situation. He thought he was going to go crazy laying around. He was couch bound and sick of tv and computer and wanted to use his brain. He was also on strong pain meds so it had to be something that didn’t take up too much brain power! I taught him how to crochet with a basic double stitch. He loved it and made a scarf and a blanket (the basic straight row down and back, down and back) while stuck on the couch.

      1. I would so totally love to end up with a tough guy’s crocheted blanket :)

    2. Good luck with the surgery! Initially, he’ll be pretty out of it but soon he’s going to get really cranky being immobile – good idea preplanning activities. Is he a handy guy? Are there little things that he can fix while laying in bed, sitting in a chair? To this very day, nothing gives my dad more pleasure that pulling a VCR apart and sticking it back together. Fans, toasters, speakers, clocks, blenders – it’s all fair game. Something that makes him feel useful while also occupying his mind.

    3. I’ve found that long, epic stories are good for extended recovery times. Has he seen Battlestar Galactica yet? If not, the full series box set could be good. Other good ones — Dexter, 24, Breaking Bad, Lost…

      Video games are also good in this situation. Something like Skyrim or Legend of Zelda could be good — the games are long and you can wander around the world doing side quests for hours.

      1. Yeah, I was going to suggest video games. We hooked a desktop up to the television for my mom when she was immobilized for a while, and then we taught her to play World of Warcraft. :) Games are often pretty flexible in terms of how much brain power you need, and an MMO like that has the advantage of having other people around, too, which might help him to not feel so isolated.

    4. Any books he has been wanting to read for awhile but hasn’t had the time? What about magazines (either more academic or more fun ones) that he doesn’t necessarily have time to read on a frequent basis? Does he have things he likes or needs to do online/on the computer (ex., manage or catch up on finances, search for vacation deals)? Could you get him a few seasons of some of his favorite shows (my husband really likes MythBusters, which I could sort of take or leave, but he could watch it for hours himself) or movies? Do you guys have any house projects or things you’re trying to plan for? If so, I might sugget asking him to help find bids or vendors or look at online reviews so he can feel like he is being productive while resting. What about, could he help you look for recipes to cook in the evenings or meal plan for you?

      What about talking to the physical therapist to find out if there are any exercises he can do in bed or any materials you could get for that? Similarly, what about asking if there are any materials to get such that your husband could do some light exercises out of bed (ex., maybe exercises with foam rollers or a medicine ball)?

      2. Thanks so much for the ideas so far! Please keep them coming!

        He’s been really into reading lately – loves to read the Sunday NY Times with a cup of coffee on the weekend, has recently gotten a ipad and has blown through several books on it. As far as the tv shows, I have what is probably a stupid question. Where do you get old seasons? Can you download them onto an ipad? Buy the dvd? I’d prefer to just be able to download something directly from the internet. We have apple tv and comcast, but I really don’t watch much tv so I don’t know the first thing about downloading episodes.

        Love the crochet tip :) I wish I knew how to teach him. Is there a book you would recommend with instructions?

        Unfortunately, we don’t have any projects around the house as he has tried to take care of everything before the surgery. We are contemplating moving next spring, so maybe I’ll ask him to try doing some broad research on neighborhoods and properties.

        1. They have a ton of TV shows on Netflix. You can stream them to your computer or TV (if your TV has that capability, which most of the newer ones do). And it’s only $7.99/month.

          2. I’ll second Netflix – I am also a normally active person and was forced to have a lot of down time this last year. Some of the medication made concentrating difficult so I couldn’t read or watch complicated plots for a while as I would lose track of even the most basic story line or fall asleep. I watched loads of shows on Netflix and I would just watch whole seasons over the course of a few days. When my drgus were switched up I started devouring books. And aside from that I loved having visitors. I was stuck in the house a lot so it made a huge difference to have a variety of friends come over. If he’s a social person you may want to plan dinner or game night or something similar so he doesn’t feel like he’s fallen out of the social world.
            Oh, and one of my very favorite things was having someone read to me. My sister gave me a really funny book that we still talk about. I was really sick from one of my chemo treatments and I remember I didn’t even have the energy to laugh so I would croak out “that’s funny” very quietly with a weak smile and we laugh about it now. It is amazing how comforting it is to have someone read to you, it makes you feel really loved.
            Oh and before I started treatment I had all of these lofty goals to learn Spanish or to play guitar that I never had the energy for but if he is primarily mobility challenged, try those.

        2. I taught myself to crochet with a book I purchased at a hobby store. I picked it up because it had instructions that taught you how to crochet both left and right-handed. Check the link out, the kit is really affordable and it comes with a bunch of useful stuff.

          http://tiny.cc/ztxqfw

        3. Google “How to Crochet” and you’ll get written explanations and you tube videos – there are even free patterns available.

          As far as projects go – baby blankets are nice goal to start with – smaller than an adult blanket, but sizable enough to feel like you’ve accomplished something. On the other hand, most baby blankets tend to use a smaller gauge hook and thinner yarn for their patterns (although you don’t have to follow that if you don’t want to) which may or may not be more difficult for a beginner. For a beginner, I’d also recommend using lighter solid colored yarns, since it’s easier to see how the stitches form, which can be more helpful when you are starting out.

        4. When my friend was recovering, she loved audiobooks.

          TV shows can come from Blockbuster, or Netflix Instant or DVDs, or Amazon Prime. Or iTunes to his iPad.

        5. If he can’t bend/reach, a “grabber” (from Walgreens or CVS) is really helpful. Great for getting things off the floor, other side of the bed, etc.

        6. If you buy the DVDs, check ebay. And there are a lot of great shows on Hulu as well.

    5. Could he teach himself something new while lying in bed? I know Stanford University has online computer programming classes, and that’s something easy to do while lying on your back. I also second the crochet recommended by Blonde Lawyer. That’s what I personally would do if I were immobile for a few weeks.

      1. Rosetta Stone/Pimsleur! And plan a post-rehab trip to a country where he can use his new language skills.

        Also, video/computer games. I wish I’d learned a new language when I was recovering from surgery, but instead I escaped into a virtual world where I could go kill some dragons. Do as I say, not as I do?

    6. After my knee surgery, I spent the entire next day fielding phone calls from concerned friends. Make sure he has a charger handy! It can be exhausting and I had to finally put off returning some calls. He will probably wake up sick from the pain meds and will need food to stave off the nausea. Make sure he has things to eat close to the bed (I ate apples and peanut butter). Maybe a little fridge in the bedroom or near him? And a way to dispose of food garbage without getting up. I didn’t have a whole lot of brain power for knitting but I did set up one project that was just really long rows back and forth (a lengthwise ribbed alpaca scarf). I wouldn’t have been able to do the cast on on pain meds, but I could just knit knit knit. Other than that, movies or shows he’s been wanting to see on DVD (or NetFlix online?). You could do Amazon prime so he could watch them on a Kindle fire.

    7. My DH was similarly laid up a while back, and it got really, really, old after the “I get to play videogames all day?!” novelty wore off, so good job being proactive. I think the most important thing is having a variety of activities for him to switch among. Everyone else has some really good suggestions already, but I’ll add crosswords and Sudoku.

      Also, from a logistics standpoint, we temporarily relocated the coffee maker and an ice chest next to the couch… carrying drinks is nearly impossible with crutches!

      1. oh, that reminds me – I got really, really good at Words with Friends and Scramble with Friends on my iphone. Now that I’m not obsessively playing it my skills have dropped off but those are great and you can play with random opponents or facebook friends (I play with people I haven’t seen in ages).

    8. Buy him the first 5 Game of Thrones books…..

      If your tv doesn’t have internet, p/u an Apple tv or a Rockr or something else he can use to stream Netflix and/or Hulu – there are lots of multi season series. Last time I was really sick, I started watching Friday Night Lights – all 5 or 6 seasons!

    9. I was actually taught to crochet by juvenile inmates when I was a corrections officer, so I can’t recommend a book.

      Another tip though, is to have friends w/ odd hours stop in to see him. Since I worked in corrections, I often was home during first shift while no one else was around. I made sure to visit w/ my friend then so he didn’t go 8 hours w/o human contact and had one less visitor in the super busy 6-8 time frame at night when everyone else visited.

      I also love the game word seek on my iphone and I just keep trying to beat my highest score. Anyone else play it?

      1. “I was actually taught to crochet by juvenile inmates when I was a corrections officer…”

        Best fun fact I’ve read on this site all year.

    10. Will you rent a wheelchair? Do you have an office chair with wheels? I broke my leg last year and having a wheeled office chair made a huge difference.

  27. TJ — a friend’s daughter just died. It all happened very quickly – she was in her last trimester, they found out the baby had some abnormalities last week, she went into labor this weekend and the baby died shortly after birth.

    I sent her an email expressing my condolences and telling her I was here for her if she needs me — for anyone who has, or knows someone who has gone through something similar, is there anything else you might have wanted someone to do? I’m not local to her so I can’t bring by food, etc.

    1. Have something delivered. Maybe flowers or an edible arrangement? Anything to brighten her mood.

    2. A close friend’s son died in the womb about 2 weeks prior to her due date. I sent a card and emails/calls regularly, and generally let her know that I am here for her. I also donated to their charity of choice in his memory. I send her a note each year on his birthday, too (the day he was delivered via induced labor), which I know she appreciates.

      1. This. I know you’re looking for something to do now, but my mom lost a child shortly (~6 weeks) after birth when I was very young. I think what will mean most to her is if you’re there for her 3 months, 6 months, 20 years from now.

        It’s been more than 20 years, and her best friend/neighbor at the time of his death still sends flowers on the anniversary of his death. Every year. My family moved farther away, and they’re not as close as they used to be, but it means so much to my mom that she remembers.

        lWhile everyone will offer condolences now, this is a loss that will stay with her forever. Many people will recognize the loss now and move on – but sending her something in 6 months or a year that shows you understand she’s still hurting would mean a lot.

    3. I’m so sorry for your friend. This is a terrible loss for her. Depending on her state, she may have to have a funeral and bury her baby (in my state, the dividing line is 20 weeks). I’d try to find out about that and attend if you are able.

      She’s also going through the normal post-pregnancy issues on top of this — still bleeding, recovering from any sugeries, dealing with boobs that think they should be nursing, etc., etc. If she works, she’s probably on some sort of leave, at least for a while.

      She may have a lot of time on her hands and no great way to fill it, so perhaps if she’s up to it, you could bring over lunch or offer to go on a walk. There can be something about this that makes people flee, especially if they are pregnant themselves or have small children, so she may really need a live familiar face. Everyone is different, especially when a baby dies, so feel free to rely on the cues you get rather than the thoughts of strangers.

    4. My heart aches for your friend. Agree with flowers. I know everyone is different but when I miscarried (I was early on, not like your friend) I appreciated most the friends who checked up on me a few times a week over the phone.

    5. I’m so sorry for your friend. This is such a horrible thing to hear. I like the idea of sending flowers if she likes that. If she does decide to have a funeral/has to and asks you to come, definitely try to do that if you can. I like the idea too of maybe putting together a care basket and bringing it over. Maybe fill it with a few different types of tea, some cookies, fruit, cheese and crackers, things she and her family can pick on if they don’t feel like shopping right away. Also, you could make/bring some freezeable meals like chicken noodle soup or lasagna. I recently knew somebody whose husband was diagnosed with a bad illness and needed a lot of serious treatment right away, so I made them a big giant lasagna when he got home, visited them, ate a little with them that day, and left all the left overs for them. She told me they both really liked that because when you’re dealing with a stressful time/illness/death, you just might not want to cook and you might wish you had some food around to pick on without thinking about it.

    6. Sorry, just read you can’t bring food because you don’t live near her. You could still send a care package with non-perishables, or Harry and David has a lot of those sorts of gift baskets. Also, if you knew anybody close to her, could you ask that person to bring her over some fresh food on behalf of both of you?

    7. Can you find a local food delivery service? Do you know any of her local friends–perhaps you could work together to set up food deliveries for her?

      Depending on what you think she might like, you could get something like an initial/birthstone necklace to honor the baby. I have not been in her position, but I have been in your position, and an initial necklace was well-received by my friend. For my friend, she seemed to want people to express their grief–cry on the phone with her, and that kind of thing–rather than just listen to her, although obviously do listen to her talk about what the birth was like and what she is experiencing. I offered to talk whenever my friend wanted to, but she didn’t reach out that much, although whenever I called her, she wanted to talk.

      I think a sympathy card would also be nice–if she named the baby and told you the name, refer to the baby by name (this is based on what I read when I was in your spot).

    8. A friend of my husband experienced this a couple of months ago. So tragic. I admittedly froze (bad me), but the couple of people I know who have experienced something similar say that having people acknowledge their loss is the most important.

      Anyway, the woman recently posted this link on FB saying that it really spoke to her about her lost child. (Disclaimer: I haven’t actually read it) http://stillstandingmag.com/2012/06/tomorrow-a-complete-cycle-of-grief/

    9. In the immediate aftermath of such a tragedy, a lot of people are probably there for your friend, but in a few months, she may be on her own. Keep checking in, and don’t wait for her to ask you for something. Just call her. Maybe you can schedule some phone calls on your calendar now for the future so it doesn’t slip your mind?

      My sister’s friend/neighbor lost her husband to a massive heart attack at age 47. Sis and her husband just did things for her – asked her to come for dinner, mowed her lawn while doing their own, showed up on the doorstep with a bottle of wine. You can’t do all that from a distance, but maintaining a presence will likely be appreciated.

  28. I am afraid to wear white b/c I am a clutz. I do want her hair!!!!

    TJ: Over the weekend I used my friend’s MorrocanOil hydrating cream and my hair felt amazing after blow drying. Is it really worth the $$?

    1. Looks like you can get it for about $30. I’ve never tried it, but it made your hair feel amazing so I would give it a try. If you buy it once and don’t find it to be worth the price, you don’t have to buy it again!

    2. TOTALLY worth it. The big bottle lasted me over a year, and it’s the first product that tames my curls without any stickiness, crunchiness, or other annoying side-effects. I seriously cannot recommend it enough.

      1. 2nd. The small bottle of oil has lasted me over a year. Place bottle against your palm, flip, flip back & repeat until you have 2-3 bottle opening size dots. Rub hands together, apply on ends first, other dry spots next, work through evenly. Hair will dry quicker, smell great , & be soft.

    3. Not worth the money – argan oil isn’t the primary ingredient in these products so it’s of dubious benefit. What’s making your hair soft and smooth is the cyclopentasiloxane (a type of silicone) and dimethicone that you can find in any hair product.

  29. Just bought 3 scarves this weekend that I am excited about, I’ve never had summer scarves before but I really like these. I am under 40 though…is there a rule about this?! I am clueless.

    2. I’m 36 and just started wearing scarves. I always had associated them with Murphy Brown. But a trip to Euope (seems everyone wears them) and buying an suit with one opened my eyes. I love them now.

    4. I am also confused by this so-called age restriction.

      Everyone looks great in scarves.

      I think younger women can look great in scarves, particularly the bigger pashmina-style ones. I think older women can rock the patterned ones a little better.

      Either way, it’s a great way to add color.

  30. Longtime reader/lurker. I recently developed plantar fasciitis and i’m having trouble finding appropriate footwear for the office (I’m a govt lawyer). Heels/wedges/non-supportive ballet flats are all out. I need to find work-appropriate shoes with good arch support. I bought a few pairs of naturalizer flats, which are OK, but I’m hoping there is something better out there…
    Would appreicate any suggestions!

    3. I like Hush Puppies. My sister has plantar and she bought Birkenstock shoes (I don’t think they’re that lawyer friendly but ymmv) and also swears by BareTraps.

    4. Check out this link: http://tiny.cc/6xxqfw

      They generally have really good recommendations. I have a bunch of issues with my feet and they have offered some decent (and not hideous options).

    5. I have PF and the Born brand works really well for me, for both casual and dressier. You can find some that are a little more stylish/less clunky and the cushioning on the heel is great. Don’t get the BOC brand- those are cheaper and not as supportive. Also, I’m sure you know this, but stretching and icing works wonders. I ice nearly every day under my desk (keep an icepack in the fridge) and have a golf ball at work to periodically rub under my foot. The abc trick (stretching) also does actually work and takes only about 10 minutes to do at night. I was super bummed when I got it but if you do these things it will go away for the most part and if you’re vigilant about icing and wearing good shoes, you can recover to the point where you’re able to exercise and do long walks again.

    6. There is a blog called “Barking Dog shoes” that will give you lots of help – and it may actually be searchable by foot-woe.

      I have a bunion that took a long time to evolve from a soccer injury – conveniently when I had 2 kids under 3, so surgery has been tabled and the better-shoe-strategy is in play.

      Drew brand shoes work for me, as well as Aravon – which non-sporty-shoes made by New Balance.

    7. I’ve had PF in the past–so bad I needed surgeryto deal with an entrapped nerve from the swelling. The biggest thing for me was focusing on arch support and being consistent (one bad pair of shoes can do you in). Some heel height tended to help and I’ve heard others say the same (not sky high by any means–but for some reason flatter often means less arch support). I’ve had good luck with pumps from Easy Spirit (Quent/Quota styles) and Rockports. When you’re off the clock, I can’t say enough good things about the Orthaheel brand. Seriously. A few hours in the Tide shoe tends to make everything feel so much better again. It also is worth talking to a podiatrist to get some proper orthotics. Even the worse ballet flats feel fine when I have the right footbed in. You shouldn’t underestimate the importance of proper foot support. I was told if I had sought intervention sooner that it might have avoided the whole nerve problem.

      1. Can’t say enough about different insoles. I have gotten PF appropriate ones from the walking company and have them in the shoes I take on trips/excursions/hiking, my lawn mowing shoes, and casual shoes/flats for trips. I also find that heels are much better for me than flats. It comes and goes, depending on what I”m doing but when it strikes – the inserts help. I got my first outbreak hiking to/from ChinaTown and the Fairmont Hotel in San Fran at a conference. Had no idea what I had done and took longer to resolve because of that. I think there’s a catalogue called Foot Sense that also has a variety of shoes for different conditions. Best to you, OP.

      2. 2nd Orthaheel. I never, ever, ever go barefoot anymore, not even from my bed to the shower. I have Orthaheel flip flops and slippers to wear as house shoes and they make a huge difference. They’re also anti-pronation, so I never twist my ankle in them, like I would with regular flip flops.

      3. One more thing: Check out footsmart dot com. It lets you view shoes by foot condition (inclouding PF). May not have a lot of work-worthy options (alas, comfort often means dowdy), but a few gems sometimes. They also sell a lot of products there–like icepacks for the feet. Though I will say during the worst of my flare ups, I would just freeze a water bottle and roll it under my foot at night. Low cost and works great. I also wanted to say hang in there. It eventually went mostly away just as weirdly as it started. I’m careful not to wear unsupported flats or walk without shoes on hard surfaces very long. Haven’t had any really significant bouts for the past couple of years (knock on wood….).

    8. Check out barkingdogshoes blog. Kirsten does a good job rounding up footwear choices for various maladies. I believe she’s done several posts relative to PF.

      I literally feel your pain. I’ve had bouts of PF and it hurts like a MF, especially when you’re getting out of bed in the morning.

      1. Ladies – thank you so much!!! I will check out each of your suggestions. So helpful. This really brightened my day. And, I wish everyone with PF a speedy recovery. It sounds like it is a small thing, but it really interferes with everyday stuff! Thanks again!

    9. Can you have orthopedics made? I have some that are thin leather/hard plastic. My podiatrist said they are fine for flats up to two inch heels. She said they have some that are thinner for three inch or above. Haven’t seen those though as two inches was our compromise on heels.

  31. Question for Lydia and/or anyone who owns or has tried on the Tahari Colette pumps. Lydia linked to some at DSW that I’m seriously considering purchasing. DSW reviews say they run slightly long. I’m between sizes in pumps – should I order up or down, or both to try them on? Thanks!

    1. I am between a 9 and a 9.5 in dress shoes. I have two pairs of the Colette and they’re both size 9. (Also, even the 9 is so roomy on one of my feet that I doubled up on the heel inserts so that my feet don’t slip out).

    2. I am usually a 6.5 in shoes (every now and then I am a 7). I have 6.5 in the Colettes. They fit perfectly.

    3. Thanks, all. I think I’m going to be a chicken and order both sizes since sizing down is sometimes too small. DSW is 5 minutes from my office so it’ll be easy enough to exchange.

  32. Hi all,

    I posted last week asking for suit recommendations for my husband who is medium height and stocky (‘triangle-shaped’) and just wanted to report back: Per your suggestions, we went to Macys and they had a lot of selection in different colors and price ranges. We asked for assistance and the salesmen were extremely helpful. Our sales guy steered us straight towards Hugo Boss (someone recommended this brand) as well as DKNY, both in the “slim fit”. My husband also tried on a bunch of other brands (CK, Tahari, Ralph Lauren, etc.) but those two worked the best. We ended up getting the DKNY because it was a better deal and they had better colors. Also picked up a deep lavender button down and a cool lavendar/grey/black plaid tie to go with the medium grey suit. Success!

    Thanks again for all the recommendations! And if anyone else needs a suit for a dude in their life, I recommend Macys. Oh, and it was a great deal- suit was originally 650 on sale for 350 plus 20 percent off with my Macys card. yay!

  34. I work in conflict resolution, and in my (large) org, we have a department that is full of Mean Girls (TM?) and I’m facilitating a meeting that will focus is on acknowledging conflict that has pulled the team off-track, and focusing on positive behaviors that will build the success of both individuals and the staff of this department. There is no budget.

    I had the thought of printing each of their names in a nice font on some parchment paper that I have handy. A symbolic “your good name” item.

    Do any of you have a favorite (free) font that would be appropriate for this application?

    Also, I am really, really green at addressing groups like this. If you have lived through a work-group meeting or facilitation like this – I would love to vicariously learn what has worked, and what to avoid.

    The manager, and the manager-elect will be there (manager is retiring). Some shifts in workload are occurring and two employees will be taking on a supervisory roles of one other person, which, will cause some ruffles among those not involved. One of the ruffling one likes to use gossip to conflate conflict. This person has been talked to, but has not substantially amended their practice, it’s further under the radar. People complain to the manager, then ask the manager not to do anything.

    Thanks!

    1. Scriptina is a pretty fancy font that was free several years ago, I assume it still is, and would go nicely with parchment paper.

      Otherwise I’d recommend dafont dot com – lots of free fonts there.

  35. Wordsmithing help please! I’m about to email my husband’s resume to a hiring manager in my company. HM is senior to me – I’ve never really directly interacted with him but I believe I have a good reputation within his organization so he should at least know who I am from that, if nothing else. My husband is absolutely qualified for the position (which is fairly senior-level) and there is no issue with him getting hired in another department from a policy standpoint.

    I was planning to make the email very casual, just saying that I was passing along the resume for his consideration (making the relationship obvious – I don’t want it to come out later in a way that would make it look like I was trying to hide the fact). I’m thinking that I should avoid anything like “my husband is very interested in your position” or providing my opinion that he is a good fit, which I might do for another business acquaintence. Any thoughts about this, or other input? TIA!

    1. When I send referrals for anyone, I include a couple of sentences favorably describing their background, to explain why I think my friend/family member is a good fit for the position/worth the HM’s consideration. I don’t think a relative should be presented differently from an acquaintance.

  36. I’m going into NYC with my mom on Wednesday. While I’m excited to engage in some needed retail therapy, I have a bit of a dilemma. I’ll be arriving around 7am and everything I’m planning to go to doesn’t open until 10am, save Starbucks which I’ll be visiting more than once that morning I’m sure ;) Any suggestions for what to do during those three hours? I’ll be between Midtown and the UES for reference. Also, any recommendations for a great steakhouse where we can get lunch? Excellent filet mignon for me and a lobster tail for mom would be ideal. Thanks!!!

    2. If you’re in the Midtown/Upper East Side area, I’d go to BLT Steak on E 57th street. The complimentary popovers alone are worth it, but the steak is pretty fantastic, too.

      Instead of Starbucks, I would go to Le Pain Quotidien. Also opens early and with several locations in the area, but much better coffee, atmosphere, food, everything.

      1. BLT Steak is one of my favorites! I also love Quality Meats on 58th b/w 5th and 6th. Wonderful steaks, fabulous entree salads, and they give you ice cream to go for dessert!

      2. I miss LPQ soooo much now that I’m in a city without one. Last time my hubby was traveling, I made him bring me back a jar of Brunette and one of Noisella. I really wish they’d open one here, that would pretty much make my year.

    3. If you can get yourself downtown, I believe Century 21 opens early for the commuting crowd, or at least it used to.

      1. This! They open at 7:45 and it’s much less crowded then than later in the day.

    4. My favorite place for breakfast/brunch in Manhattan is SaraBeth’s on Central Park South… its great alone or with a friend. The Cobb salad is amazing, but breakfast is also quite yummy, and grab some jam to take home with you!

  37. Since we are on the subject of foot problems, has anyone had successful bunion surgery? I have had bunions all my life (it runs in the family — my sister’s bumions are worse than mine) and I have managed to live with them. However, in the last year or so my right foot has now developed a hammertoe, which is getting worse.

    I ran into a woman at the gym who had her bunions surgically fixed and she swears that it was not extremely painful (as I had heard it generally was) and that the surgeon did one foot at a time and her time off from being able to work out was fairly minimal. I would say it will take me a very long time to even broach this idea seriously but I feel that surgery is inevitable some day in the forseeable future.

    Does anyone have advice or experiences to share? If you did have the surgery, was it worth it? How long did you have to take off from working out? I am pretty serious about working out and fitness, having lost a bunch of weight in the last year, so I really don’t want to do something that will throw me seriously off track.

    1. I had the surgery the summer before law school. Both feet, five weeks apart. Honestly it was probably a year before I was back to full stamina on my feet and ankles.

      My first surgery was the right foot. I had it on a Thursday, with a follow-up appointment on the following Monday. The intervening days were the worst of my life, I was in such incredible agony. I was taking the full dose of Vicodin, which made me throw up everything I ate and itchy enough that I scratched myself bloody, but I was still in horrible pain. When I went to the follow-up on Monday, I was in such bad shape that I got wheeled into the hospital in a wheelchair, throwing up in a plastic bag the whole way. When the doctor saw me, he was became alarmed and determined that my bandage had been wrapped too tightly, and that’s what was causing the pain. I missed at least a week of work and couldn’t drive for a month with that surgery.

      After my left foot surgery, I made sure the bandage was loose enough and was off crutches in two days, walking around in my boot. I was back at work after a few days. The moral of the story is: Make sure your bandage isn’t too tight!

      The results were mixed. My feet are still wide and flat, so I still have issues with the fit of shoes and some pain. But the pain was definitely improved, especially in the right side, which was the worst one. I’m definitely not gliding around pain-free in pointy-toed, 5 inch heels, but I am glad I did it.

    2. I’ve had bunions removed on both feet — 20 years apart! The post-op periods were very different, and not just because I was older the second time. The first doc had me in a walking boot within a couple of days, and I managed to hobble around work just fine. The second doc was much more conservative and required no weight-bearing for five weeks. I rented a knee scooter from GoodbyeCrutches(dot)com, and that worked great — and was fun, too! I took a week off from work for that one. Post-op pain was minimal; I took pain meds the first couple of days, but did keep my foot elevated for quite a while. It took about three or four months before I was up to speed on walking, eliptical, etc.

  38. After much agonizing, I finally bought a pair of the Cole Haan Talia pumps. These are very expensive shoes for me, and I wore them around the house on carpeting for a week to ensure easy return. But today I decided that I would definitely keep them, and wore them to work for the first time.

    And then I immediately got caught in a giant downpour on my way to court, leaving my shoes soaking wet and squishing all the way to my car. I am so sad! What do I do now? There isn’t any visible damage really, and I immediately took them off when I got back to my office so they can finish drying. I wiped them inside and out with Kleenex. They look fine, and they are real leather so I guess they should be able to get wet, but I’m worried.

    Do you guys think they’ll be okay? Is there anything I should do to help take care of them/clean them? Should I look into some sort of leather waterproofing in case this happens again? I’ve never had “nice” shoes before so I’m not sure what to do. Help please!!

    1. Sweetie! They will be 100% fine. I happen to have the Talias, and have walked in plenty of rain while wearing them, but even if that wasn’t the case I’d tell you no worries. Leather can handle getting wet. Once it dries fully, you won’t be able to tell any difference.

      As for future care: yes, there are waterproofing sprays and leather cleaning/conditioning lotions. Both are inexpensive and available at shoe stores.

      1. Thank you so much for your reply! It’s such a relief to hear that your Talias have stood up to plenty of rain. I will investigate waterproofing sprays and do my best to stay out of the rain (at least for the rest of the day!).

        Thanks again. I feel so much better now. :)

  39. Hi!
    Had such a ridiculous day that I thought I’d ask for advice on this.
    I can be terribly perfectionistic and obsessional about things and, I guess, somewhat anxious-avoidant too.

    I work two jobs and do have impossible assignments thrown my way on and off, which are usually difficult to work around diplomatically. I now notice myself procrastinating over particularly difficult or stressful tasks. Like not opening or downloading an attachment; that sort of thing. Its worse than before, so perhaps linked to some form of learned helplessness.

    Whatever the reason, it is very clear that this avoidance only aggravates problems, some of which really aren’t even that bad.

    Really need to grow up and get over this. Has anyone had similar issues? I feel like its just me but perhaps it’s not.. Would really value your suggestions or advice.
    Thanks!

    1. This is going to sound beyond silly but it works for me. A very successful senior woman I very much admire is known for responding to things before you can even hit send. It’s always a surprise because she is fairly important and yet responds to everyone, no matter the occasion, almost immediately. I always think she is able to manage this because she just does it as it comes in. Sometimes, when I am really unmotivated, I just do a little internal, “what would so-and-so do,” and pretend I am her. Everything is always easier if you just deal with it promptly.

    2. My workaround for difficult and stressful tasks: Break it down into 15-20 minute increments, and don’t allow myself to think about the fact that there are 4000 tasks on the list. I think about this task, and maybe the next 2, only. Even the portions that take more than 20 minutes can be broken down further into sections, pages, etc.

  40. Last week there was someone asking about how to do their hair – it was thin and curly.

    Mine is thin and wavy, and I wanted to share what I’ve found.

    I used to scrunch with light mousse (Aveda’s Phomollient), and let it mostly air dry to get a curly look. For some reason, my hair doesn’t really like being curly any more.

    Now I’ve found a lot of success with Garnier Curl Calm Down Anti-Frizz Cream. I just use a dime-size amount in my hand. I flip my head upside-down and then blow-dry with a skinny round brush with tines far apart. (Like this: http://www.amazon.com/Cricket-RPM-Round-Brush-Collection/dp/B00011JORI/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1339440995&sr=8-5). I also comb my fingers through toward the end of blow-drying.

    I don’t blow-dry 100% completely, but quit after about 85% dry, and then let the rest air dry.

    It’s given me more curl and body than I’ve had in years.

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