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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Diana Barry
I like this! Very nice. Although I can’t see if there are any matching pants…
Threadjack re: matching pieces. I just got a sheath dress from J crew factory – it is suit material, medium grey stretch, with a ruffle at the neck, fully lined, very nice. BUT they didn’t have any matching blazers for it. Now I wonder if I should keep it or send it back bc I won’t wear it to work without a blazer over. (I usually wear jackets at work, not cardigans etc.) Thoughts? I like it, but don’t want it to sit in my closet.
maine susan
Can’t you wear it with a black blazer or a white/cream blazer or in the fall some kind of tweed?
Anon
I think a navy blazer would like nice with grey too. Or a bright colored blazer. I don’t think that you need to have a matching blazer (for a regular day in the office – not court/interview/formal days).
Anon
I’d keep it and wear a contrasting blazer or a nice cardigan. You could also do a longer cardi with a big wide belt, or a skinny little belt, over the top.
Bonnie
Wear it with a contrasting color. Just avoid trying to match it.
Annie
I have a light grey sheath dress from jcrew that I wear with this blazer from coldwater creek:
http://www.coldwatercreek.com/product-detail/56690/62984/splash-print-blazer.aspx?colorid=994&refLink=jackets.aspx
Sharon
I think tryng to match it will look tacky. I love a yellow cardigan over a gray, coral over navy blue, etc.
New Job Question
I just started a new job and with it came a new assistant. I had a horrible relationship with my old assistant so I’d like to get off on the right foot with this one. Does anyone have any tips? What do you ladies typically have your assistant do for you?
Thanks!
AN
Think kat did a post about this a while ago….or maybe it was a thread jack but got loads of replies…
Anon
You should be like TESS in the Movie Working Girl. She said:
1) first, call me Tess, Not Ms. McGillie;
2) second, I don’t expect you to get me coffee unless your geting it for yourself
3) and third, we’ll make up the rest as we go along.
I find that I have a good working relationship with my assistant because I followed those rules.
NOW if ONLY I would look like Melanie Griffiths, I would be married and home by the pool by now!
E
Here is the post AN referenced.
https://corporette.com/2011/04/26/delegating-using-your-assistant-well/
Lots of good tips on what to have your assistant do. Some tips too on maintaining a good relationship with your assistant, but that wasn’t the key focus.
Bonnie
If you can, talk to your colleagues to find out what type of work their assistants do for them.
Jill
Threadjack —
What is the secret to wearing white shirts without your white bra showing through? When shopping for clothing to wear to my summer internship, I purchased mostly white tops. (For example: http://bit.ly/ktJNbB) I wasn’t worried about it then because I figured I’d always be wearing a suit jacket or a cardigan over them. Now that I moved to DC I realize that I am going to be commuting without any jacket or sweater. I just don’t feel comfortable with my bra showing this much on the commute. Any tips for how to get rid of the bra showing through? Would a “nude” colored bra solve the problem?
Lucy
Nude bra and/or nude cami.
SF Bay Associate
Agreed. There is no point to owning white bras in terms of practicality. Nude-for-you and black are the basics.
Eponine
Yeah – you don’t wear a white bra. You wear one that matches your skin tone. For me, that’s beige or pale pink. Also, make sure you’re wearing a t-shirt bra, rather than a lacy one – the lace will show through.
Mir
I’m rebuilding my bra wardrobe after discovering, thanks to Nordstr0m, I’ve been wearing the wrong size. Whew, what a difference! The first ones I bought were black, nude strapless convertible and pale pink. The pale pink is actually more “nude” on me than the nude is… love.
Anyway, I wanted to add a bit of DC summer advice — get your nude bra unlined and in a nice thin, breathable fabric if at all possible. It makes a huge difference in your personal comfort.
ch-ch-change
Career transition question:
Currently working in a small firm in a mid-sized city doing litigation work. I’ve been out of law school for a year and in August will have been at my current firm for one year. (I will be sticking it out here for the full year, no matter what.)
For a number of reasons, I don’t think this firm is the place I want to spend my career. The other two associates have been here significantly longer than I have been here – neither of them seem happy, nor have they gotten raises that I consider “worth it.” (We do not do bonuses here and our benefits are crap.) I am also pretty iffy about being in litigation in general.
Anyway, I am really interested in transitioning into an in-house job with one of the local hospitals. Does anyone do this and have advice about how to make this sort of transition and would you care to share how you like your job?
anon
Dont burn bridges at your current place, since you may be there longer than you think. Start applying for jobs that match your interests. But, dont be surprised if as a first year you cant just make the jump – there are alot of others who will also be looking to make that transition, including probably the two more experienced associates unhappy with their jobs. Its a matter of timing and being in the right place at the right time.
ch-ch-change
I am hoping I can get my foot in the door through a friend of a friend. I just want to stop what I am doing here at this firm so I can move on to something that I want to actually make a career out of instead of feeling like I am treading water. I’m getting good experience, but I am feeling that by accumulating the experience, I’m realizing this isn’t where I want to be.
I certainly will avoid burning bridges at all costs. This city is too small to leave it any other way.
Lydia
If your goal is specifically to be in-house at that hospital, I would do everything possible to broaden your range of experience so that it may fit better with the in-house position. Unless the in-house position is in litigation, you will probably need to broaden your practice area – e.g. regulation, ERISA, employee benefits, contracts…Also, if it is a small city, try to increase your network to folks associated with the hospital.
ch-ch-change
This is a really good suggestion that I hadn’t thought of. It would be a good idea for me to attend some CLEs and brush up on the areas of the law that you mentioned.
As for networking, I just had lunch with my contact and she is setting up lunch for me with a current hospital in-house whose perspective should offer some guidance. (Who, interestingly, used to work at my current firm and transitioned to the hospital, but may be leaving her position soon to be a SAHM.) I will be spending some of my free time working on good questions to ask her over lunch…
E
I have an interview with a small finance services group (entire company is currently under 10 people). To date, I only have experience working at a large bank.
What are some differences I should expect or ask about (once I’m sufficiently far along in the process)? I assume a great group healthcare plan won’t be a given, and other benefits won’t be as robust (e.g., perhaps no mat leave, though that’s not on the horizon). Anyone able to share their experiences with small employers?
small firm
My small law firm (6 attorneys, 5 support staff) does have a group health care plan and pays my monthly premium. (But our deductible is a whopping $3,000…) The retirement plan is a good one and kicks in after employees have been working for one year. I haven’t been here long, and am one of the only younger females to work in the office, so I have no clue what maternity leave may be, as it hasn’t been addressed. I get no vacation days and no sick leave. They pay for my cell phone bill since I have to use it for work and they pay me mileage for everywhere I drive out of the county for firm business.
Kanye East
A $3,000 deductible really isn’t bad. My monthly premium (on top of the other half my employer pays) is $500+, and my deductible is $2,500. I have friends whose deductible is $10k, for some perspective.
Forgive me if your post was sarcastic and I’m just tone-deaf.
E
I’m not sure about small firm’s intended tone, but either way this is all very good info. I currently have no deductible and pay about $350 per YEAR in premiums (thank you large bank!). A $3000 deductible (and especially $10k!) would be a big negative to me unless my salary would more than cover it.
small firm
My intended tone was not sarcastic – our deductible went from $500 to $3,000 in one year and my salary is quite low for the work that I do (according to the thread not too long ago when we compared salaries and other job related information). I certainly appreciate that my firm covers my monthly premium, which is about $250, if I recall correctly, but raising the deductible without giving anyone a raise essentially resulted in a pay cut on my end. Nearly all of my close friends who are my age and in my geographical area have much better plans than the one I’m currently on.
Ashley
I’ve worked for a few small companies, and I disliked the general atmosphere, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt. Also, pardon the looonnnggg post!
First, things were generally disorganized, and there were little or no formal policies/procedures. This made it really frustrating to get work done, because any questions or decisions had to go through one central person. Then, when that person was out of the office, it was “just make the best call you can”. But, when the person came back to the office, your calls were “wrong”, and you should’ve consulted someone…. but there was no to consult. There was very little consistency in decision-making, which drove me NUTS, as I did a pretty repetitive task (proposal writing, essentially).
The lack of support/resources may also be troublesome. If you’re used to having the budget and the manpower for a certain level of project, making this project happen without those resources may be frustrating. For me, I felt like I was tasked with this impossible project, and given 0 ability to make it come to fruition, since I wasn’t allowed to spend money or ask for help. For some, this is exciting…. for me, it was always a feeling of failure. There’s definitely a difference between surmountable but challenging and an out-and-out impossible request.
Finally, office “culture” was not strong, and the dress code was completely non-existent. Again, maybe it was the place and nature of the business, but I hated that everyone came to work LITERALLY in pajamas. We didn’t have a sense of company “feel”, ie: buttoned up and conservative, work hard/play hard, keep your distance, etc. I really like a strong sense of culture, and this is generally fostered by dress code, parties, office layout, etc. None of that was strong, so there was always this sense of being a little “lost” while at the office.
Again, I had some pretty bad experiences with smaller companies, mainly because they were start-ups, so take my thoughts as just one opinion, and good luck with the interview!
E
Thanks for the advice and perspective, Ashley and small firm! Appreciated. If anything comes of this, I will have a lot to think about.
Jill
Threadjack —
What is the secret to wearing white shirts without your white bra showing through? When shopping for clothing to wear to my summer internship, I purchased mostly white tops. I wasn’t worried about it then because I figured I’d always be wearing a suit jacket or a cardigan over them. Now that I moved to DC I realize that I am going to be commuting without any jacket or sweater. I just don’t feel comfortable with my bra showing this much on the commute. Any tips for how to get rid of the bra showing through? Would a “nude” colored bra solve the problem?
eaopm3
I always wear a cami underneath my white shirts, then, it doesn’t matter what color bra I wear. I think a nude bra would help, if you don’t want to wear a cami, but if the shirt is sheer enough, the color of the bra won’t matter – you’ll still be able to see it.
Wondering
Agreed. I actually wear a black bra, then a white cami over the bra, and then my white shirt and I have absolutely no see through problems.
CW
Yes to the nude colored bra.
Cat
“Nude” bra is definitely step 1 in solving the problem (and even if the nude bra still shows a little, hopefully it will be enough of a fix that you can commute without feeling like you’re on display).
White blouses that are thick enough not to even hint at a nude bra can be really hard to find, generally – I’ve had good luck with Brooks Bros and the J.Crew 3/4 length sleeve blouse, but relegated a few from Ann Taylor and Talbots to the “only under a cardigan” pile because even a nude bra showed through (and no, not because my shirt was too tight).
Lyssa
That’s one reason why I almost never buy white tops that I can’t see first- so many of them, even the ones from “good” manufacturers, are too shear! You just have to look for yourself.
AN
Never wear a white bra with white tees/shirts. Always nude/skin tone bras – ideally t shirt/seamless bras.
ml
Nude bra, nude cami!
Lucky Anon
Threadjack –
I need your advice for an admittedly high-class problem. I’m graduating from grad school in a few weeks, and my mother in law wants to give me a tote that I can use for work at my new job (as a lobbyist in DC) for my graduation present. She wants to spend between $500 to $1000, which is frankly way more than I’ve ever spent on a bag and so I don’t know where to look for ideas. I’d love any advice about brands or specific work bags that you’d recommend in this range (she mentioned Mulberry?). Thanks!!
Cat
Lucky! I’d be curious to hear responses to this as well – $500-1000 is a tricky pricepoint for totes, as there seems to be a bit of a gulf between $300-500 (Coach, Dooney, kate spade, etc) and $1000+ (Prada, Ferragamo, etc). I would love recommendations for somewhere inbetween and not logo-splashed.
Single-Bilingual
I love my Mulberry Bayswater. They also come in a slightly larger size with a laptop section.
Nonny
Ditto re my Mulberry Bayswater….I heart Mulberry and it is so classy and timeless. But I haven’t seen the larger one with laptop section…..hmmm, maybe something for the next bonus?
Accountress
The worst part about getting purses/bags as gifts if you don’t know if something’ll work until you’ve got it.
Maybe you could ask her if she wants to do a girls’ day out to pick something? Even if you don’t find anything that day, she’ll have a good idea about your preferences in purses/bags when she browses without you.
Eponine
I love Tory Burch totes. I would actually go shopping with her if you can, though – like another poster said it’s hard to tell if something will work until you’ve seen it yourself.
Tired Squared
I got a Tory Burch bag for law school graduation … it’s beautiful and definitely in your price range. I also received a TB wallet that was very nice too!
Lucy
http://www.alreadypretty.com has a post today on picking a bag – it’s not a list of specific brands, but might be useful to you.
found a peanut
the Mulberry Alexa is a very trendy bag right now, and I love it’s feminine briefcase look. It might be slightly more than $1k though.
I would also look at Rebecca Minkoff, Marc by Marc Jacobs, Tory Burch and Botkier.
TCFKAG
I love love love my Jack Georges bag, which is not really in your price range.
But…can you ask your MIL to get you two totes, one in black and one in brown? Explain you want to be able to coordinate with your different suits? I would prefer two $300 totes to one $600 one…but that’s just me.
Either way…this is a great problem to have. :-)
Lucky Anon
Thanks to everyone who replied! I agree that ideally, I’d shop with my MIL and pick the bag together, and also I’d love to be able to choose say 2 cheaper bags rather than 1 expensive one, but neither is in the cards. This is supposed to be a surprise, so I’ll settle for sending my husband links of bags I like and seeing what she picks. I’ll check out all of these options, and glad to hear that the Mulberry bags are lovely, since that was her inclination in the first place. Thanks!
Legally Brunette
I’ve gotten into a bad habit of purchasing lots of clothes online at Nordstrom and then returning about 90% of them, usually within 4-6 weeks. My husband tells me that this sort of purchasing/returning scheme is adversely affecting our credit. I know that I’m not the only one who does this. Can someone explain if this is true? Is it better to return clothes right away, would this help the situation? I’m not very financially savvy and embarrassed to admit that I don’t understand my husband’s concern. Thanks.
Legally Brunette
Oh, and I usually buy my clothes on a Visa, if that makes any difference.
Ses
This doesn’t cause any permanent hit on your credit score; however, if you are using up a significant portion of your available credit at the moment someone pulls your credit score, your score can be lower than if you had more free credit.
For example, if you have one credit card carrying a balance of $5,000 against a $6,000 limit because you’ve charged a bunch of clothes, it would be worse than if you only had $500 against a $6,000 limit.
So — if you’re a applying for loans right now you might want to avoid this behavior, but otherwise it’s my understanding that it won’t cause permanent damage.
Another Sarah
If it’s within 4-6 weeks, then you’re not returning them within the billing cycle. So, the way I understand your husband’s concerns, this could be happening:
1. Visa bills you for the cost of the clothes.
2. You plan on returning $x amount of the clothes.
3. You don’t pay for $x of the clothes, because you’re going to return them so get refunded anyway.
4. At the end of the billing cycle, Visa thinks you’re just not paying for them and rolls over those charges to the next cycle, charging you interest.
5. After you return them, you get a refund for the cost of the clothes, but not your interest
If you are perpetually being charged interest on the price of the clothes outstanding until you return them, it looks like you’re consistently not paying your bills, which affects your credit rating. On the other hand if you pay your bills in full all the time, regardless what you’re planning on returning, then I don’t know. :-)
Fiona
I don’t know specifically what he’s talking about, but my guess would be something about your debt utilization ratio? So if your credit card limit is $5000 and you charge $4000 worth of clothes, it looks like you’re using 80% of your limit on that card even if you return them a few weeks later. If you do this all the time, it would look like you were consistently nearly maxed out on your credit card. I don’t know if this has a long-term negative effect on your credit though. Would be interested to see what the other commenters think.
SF Bay Associate
I do the buy a lot and return most of it, and my FICO is great. I never carry a balance though – I just pay my bill off in full every month regardless of whether I’ve had a chance to do the returns or the returns have cleared on my credit card. I charge pretty much everything I buy, from gas to groceries to lunch to shopping, so even if I end up starting the following billing cycle with a substantial credit from shopping, I always end up using it on necessities.
Diana Barry
Ditto – I do this too, everything goes on the credit card.
E
I agree with others that high utilization is the main thing to be worried about, assuming you’re paying off the cards each month (and if you’re not, the bigger problem is that you’re paying lots of unnecessary interest, rather than the credit score impact, in my view). High utilization at the time your report is pulled is a negative; otherwise, it should not make a difference (having had high utilization in the past should not make a difference). So if you’re applying for mortgages (or whatever), you’re better off running a low balance on your cards. Buying and returning itself is not seen as risky or undesirable by the credit bureaus, however.
One option, if you and your husband are applying for credit or otherwise need a strong score at the moment, is for you to put your clothes purchases on a debit card – assuming you can run a high enough balance in your checking/savings account linked to the card. You’ll miss out on points/cash back and the ability to do charge-backs and other nice features you might receive on a credit card for purchases you end up keeping, but if your right-this-minute score is important, it’s probably a worthwhile tradeoff.
Violet
I don’t think there’s a problem if you return the clothes and get credited for them by the time your bill comes around. That’s what I do. =p
However, be careful about how much you’re charging to your credit card at any one time, even if you’re planning on returning the stuff. If you use your credit card for any other purchase, you need might need the remaining credit limit.
Not sure what happens when you go over your credit limit as I haven’t tired, but I’m sure you’ll be charged plenty of interest or fees of some sort. Don’t go over your credit limit and happy shopping!
Legally Brunette
Thanks all for the helpful feedback. I never go over my credit limit and my understanding is that we pay off the entire bill at the end of the month (hubby does the finances). However, I guess if I were to buy a bunch of stuff on May 25 and then make returns on June 5, I would be only making returns on the next cycle, which might be an issue? You all have given me something to think about.
Eleanor
To clarify, making a return in a subsequent billing cycle is only a problem if you are applying for a mortgage or have some other reason for someone to be checking your credit. If this is not your situation, then returning clothes in June that you bought in May shouldn’t make any difference to your credit. Also, I don’t think you should feel bad at all if you were to ask your husband to explain his concerns, and your finances in general, more fully.
attorney
It sounds like you might want to learn more about your finances from your husband. He might be happy to teach you. When you make a return makes no difference whatsoever so long as you’re paying your credit cards *in full* every month. What balance you put on your credit card affects your credit because the credit card company reports your current balance at a day of their choosing to credit reporting agencies, and that is the amount that is used in the utilization ratios people have talked about above. This (mostly) only matters if you’re applying for a mortgage, car loan, new credit card, etc. (I say mostly b/c it might also matter if you’re up for review on your insurance).
IMHO, even if one person is in charge of the finances day-to-day, it’s always good to check in and make sure you understand everything that’s going on.
Legally Brunette
This is very true. Hubby always wants to teach me, and I always beg off out of boredom. But I agree that it’s very important to at least know the basics. Thanks!
kellyn
Thanks to the ladies who gave some great advice about an interview I had last week. Everything went well, and I’ll know yay or nay within the next two weeks.
Funny thing, though: it was casual friday there (ie wear jeans for charity thing) so they were interviewing me in very nice denim looks and I was in my black suit white silk blouse hose black pumps, and also, my interviewer’s parents were there (not FOR the interview) getting him to sign some stuff. They were so cute and they “put in a good word” for me.
Either way, it was memorable!
Wedding Etiquette Q
Not strictly career related, but hoping you wise women can help!
I am invited to a wedding, where in addition to the ceremony + reception, which will be pretty elaborate as-is, the bride’s family, who are foreign-born, are throwing another big party for the soon-to-be married couple a few days before the wedding. This is not like a rehearsal dinner & everyone is basically invited, as far as I know. It’s going to be held at a fancy-type place and the dresscode is “festive.”
I’m going to both events. My question is vis a vis the gift. It’s only a few days apart, but am I expected to bring 2 gifts? Give something bigger/grander than I otherwise would at the wedding? Or, give the same gift I would if it was just a regular wedding? I know I shouldn’t think of it on a per-cost basis, but so many people do, and having both these parties will defnitely be expensive. What is a guest who wants to do the right thing to do?
Marie
It’s always better to have the gift shipped to them rather than bringing to the event, so two events need not equate two gifts. I would probably spend a bit more if they are hosting multiple events…doesn’t need to be excessive though. Maybe just upgrade a bit to a slightly pricier item in the registry, if that sounds right to you and if you can comfortably afford to do so.
Nonny
Well, I am a bit old school on these things, which is to say, it is one wedding, hence one gift, and take it to the wedding reception proper. Just because they are throwing multiple parties doesn’t mean they are entitled to multiple gifts, and I would be surprised if they expected you to bring multiple gifts. But if you are in a position to talk to a member of the bridal party, e.g. a bridesmaid, you could ask what people will be doing in general.
somewherecold
I would really only feel expected to bring a gift to a shower. Gifts aren’t obligatory at weddings, and like Marie said, it’s better to ship a physical gift to the couple than to bring it to the reception. I would just give one gift, and I think your relationship with the couple and what you can afford should be the main guiding factors in deciding how much to spend.
Sharon
Hopefully you’re not going to actually bring the gift – you’re shipping it, right? No bride needs to deal with finding a place to put the gift, keep it safe, transport it to her home afterwards, etc.
It’s one gift – it’s one gift for the wedding … When I got married, we had a Friday night dinner hosted by my parents, pool party, bridesmaid’s luncheon, rehearsal dinner, the wedding itself, and brunch the day after – but people gave one gift, because it was one event. The fact that they socialize in such a way that it becomes several events is irrelevant. It’s one wedding / special occasion.
Wedding Etiquette Q
Thanks all!
Yes, definitely shipping from the online registry or bringing a check, would not dare show up at a church with a food processor in tow ;)
1 wedding = 1 gift does make a lot of sense! I guess now I am just wondering if I should up the amount I would spend given that it’s two parties I am attending? I think I will end up giving/spending just a bit more than I normally would and call it a day.
AN
Might be a cultural thing but I’d just get 1 gift in this case. Enjoy the party!
oh – and sending the gift beforehand might be great as they know you sent it and certainly (i hope) will not keep tabs/care whether you’ll send another for the wedding itself.
Iphone app
Does anyone know if there is an Iphone app that tracks the amount of food you eat daily with respect to how much protein, fat, and sugar is in each item of food consumed? I currently use myfitnesspal, which only tracks food in terms of calories and fat, but not protein and sugar. I’m having some problems with hair loss recently and am wondering if it has at all to do with my diet. Any leads would be appreciated, thanks!
kellyn
I like sparkpeople, which has a mobile app for my blackberry (and surely one for iphone). It does track protein and sugars, in addition to the usual suspects.
anon
I use myfitnesspal and up at the top you can click nutrients to see the remaining categories. does this help?
Iphone app
Very helpful! I had no idea this feature existed on that site. Thanks!
Diana Barry
Also go to your dr and have your thyroid tested. Low thyroid function (hypothyroid) can result in hair loss.
KW
You can change your settings on myfitness pal so it also tracks protein and sugar. Just click on “settings” at the top and the first category should be “Change Nutrients Tracked.” Then you can choose carbs, fat, protein, etc. and then just click “save changes” at the bottom.
ElevenElle
I use myfitnesspal (Android version) and it tracks everything for me (calories, fat, carbs, fiberm sugar, sodium, protein, all of it). But I also have an account through the website.
KOB
I love the Lose it app.
Livia
I love LoseIt too.
govvie
I second the comment about medical advice. You could even start at a reputable medical website, such as NIH or others (believe it’s Medline Plus) just searching on “hair loss.” If you see a doc, this may help arm you with info. I recently “aided” myself in a contact lens-related issue this way (in addition to ophthamologists) and in a foot-pain issue (better insoles!). Key word, of course, is “reputable.” Hope it gets better.
Iphone app
Quick update — I started tracking my iron intake and quickly realized that my iron levels are very LOW. I’m vegetarian and eat lots of lentils, but it doesn’t seem that they have as much iron as I thought. I’m sure that the low iron levels explain at least in part my hair loss problem (already checked my thyroid, and it’s normal). I’m going to eat more spinach and beans, and hope that helps my iron levels. Thanks to you ladies for the helpful tips!
AN
adding vitamin C to iron at meals helps absorption (I’m vegetarian too!)
don’t eat dairy with the iron rich foods as that has the opp. effect.
(all this is knowledge gained when i was preggers 3 yrs ago:)
Nonny - Seattle Dining
Threadjack – question for cbackson and anyone else in and around the Seattle area.
My boyfriend is going down to Seattle for a work event in a few weeks’ time and I will be going to join him afterwards for the weekend. I am trying to figure out a nice place for dinner on the Saturday. We like good food and I am looking for a good “date night” restaurant – does not need to be super fancy. We have been to Purple and the Pink Door before.
Because we are also on the Wet Coast, we have a lot of good Asian food at home, so no particular need to go for Asian unless there is something spectacular that we *must* try (I have been to Monsoon before and would put it in this class – my BF hasn’t so that is one of the places I am considering). In this regard, I’ve heard mixed things about Wild Ginger – is it really *that* good?
Am considering Spinasse, but looking for other suggestions as well. Would really prefer not to do anything too touristy, though we will be staying downtown….
Thanks in advance!
ML
I like Wild Ginger, altho it’s not mind blowing. But it’s also not crazy expensive and it’s a nice atmosphere. I also love I Love Sushi on lake union. Beautiful views and some of the freshest fish I’ve ever had, anywhere. Have fun! I love seattle. :)
CW
Check out Tilth – I loved it! http://www.tilthrestaurant.com. Not the easiest spot to get to (you’ll need a car, or the number for a taxi service), but definitely worth the extra effort.
Nonny
Sheesh, this looks incredible too. There are too many good places to choose from. You ladies are all way too helpful. Oh well, I guess it is a nice problem to have!
cbackson
I wouldn’t do Wild Ginger for a special occasion, in part because it’s the go-to business lunch spot for my firm and so I have trouble thinking of it as special. But also, I don’t think WG is a particularly unique, interesting Seattle-y experience.
If the weather is nice, you could take the ferry over to Bainbridge Island and eat at the Four Swallows – it’s a really lovely northern Italian restaurant, and if you catch clear skies, the ride over at sunset with the mountains will be fantastic. The ferry leaves from downtown Seattle and takes about 35 minutes each way; you can walk on. The Four Swallows is maybe 3/4 of a mile from the terminal on the Bainbridge side.
Seattle-side, if you’ve been to Purple and to the Pink Door (which I love), I would suggest the following: head to Ballard (you can take a taxi, or the 17 or 18 bus, which run directly from downtown to Ballard), have a nice before-dinner cocktail at Hazlewood (tiny but gorgeous space with all sorts of “I hand-chiseled this ice from a glacier on Mt. Rainier” craft cocktails), and then eat dinner at Volterra (northern Italian with local ingredients). You can then follow this up with the amazing pistachio gelato at D’ambrosio. You’ll arrive downtown happy and well-fed.
MsZ
DH and I went to Le Pichon on our honeymoon and loved every bite. Great casual bistro feel – you feel like you are in Paris in the early 1900s – and great food.
B
Le Pichet?
Nonny
Anyone tried the Book Bindery?
meara
I did! Some friends and I have been trying new restaurants once a month or so. Sadly, we went to Book Bindery on a night I had a migraine, so I didn’t eat most of my food while there…but it was delicious later on! We weren’t impressed by the foie gras terrine (the textures were odd, though the flavors were good) but liked everything else we had.
Aisha
I second Tilth, a great experience and Amazing food. The menu is seasonal and changes everyday. Another one of my favorites is Harvest Vine, a perfect dinner for two. An excellent spanish tapas place that is a little treasure, see: http://www.harvestvine.com/.
S
Threadjack: can anyone recommend good gifts and an appropriate price range for a naming ceremony (Jewish)? I’ve never been to one as an adult and want to make sure we give appropriately. Thanks!
Eponine
Well, it really depends on the family and your relationship to them. In my upper-middle-class family, I’d spend about $200 for a close relative’s child (cousin or closer). For a friend I’d spend around $50.
Traditional gifts include your kind of typical commemorative baby kitsch – silver rattles engraved with the date and Hebrew name, silver baby cups engraved with the date and Hebrew name, etc. If you aren’t Jewish/aren’t that close to the family, there’s no need to go this route. Some sort of high-end or entirely practical toy would be nice, or if you are Jewish/know a place where you can get a Hebrew name embroidered, something personalized with the baby’s Hebrew name would be especially thoughtful, like a baby blanket or teddy bear.
You could also always give a check or a gift card to a baby store. It is perfectly acceptable to give money, either for the parents to spend or “earmarked” for the baby’s college fund.
B
Il Bistro in Pike Place Market – italian
Chez Shea – romantic french
Le Pichet – quaint & delicious french
Any of Tom Douglas’s restaurants are hits and are easy to find downtown (Dahlia, Etta’s Seafood, Palace Kitchen, Lola (Greek – not my favorite, however).
I totally recommend hopping on the west seattle water taxi and taking a beautiful ten-minute boat ride to West Seattle – there you can take a free shuttle to Spring Hill and Mashiko – amazing sustainable sushi.
Nonny
I just went on the website for Mashiko and now I want to go there for omakase. I love the “rules” – “Tako is not chewy.” Heh!
I had heard of the Tom Douglas restaurants. Hmm, lots to think about.
Nonny.
NYC 11
Can anyone recommend a place in NYC to get a nice black silk top for a formal event? The event is this week so no time to online shop. Would prefer sleeveless, but not an absolute must. I have scoured the usual suspects like Talbots, dept stores, etc., but with no luck. Any help would be truly appreciated :)
E
http://www.anntaylor.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=31199&N=1200005+1500009+2000003&categoryId=183&Ns=CATEGORY_SEQ_183&colorFamily=Black&gridSize=sm&showAll=true&defaultColor=Black&defaultSizeType=Regular
How about that? There are Ann Taylors all over the city.
If you’re looking for something fancier, try calling Bergdorf Goodman to see what they have. I love this one:
http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod61540042&eItemId=prod61570143&cmCat=search&searchType=MAIN&parentId=&icid=&rte=%252Fsearch.jhtml%253FN%253D0%2526Ntt%253Dblack%252Bsilk%252Btop%2526_requestid%253D22481
but it’s very $$$ (Neiman Marcus has it on sale for $358 – if they have it in stock, maybe could price match, though still expensive!)
Have you tried Bloomingdales?
NYC 11
Thanks for the AT idea. The top you suggest and a bunch of their others that could work are online exlusives, alas…. But maybe I will luck out and find something else there… BG is, sadly, out of my price range. I had no luck at Bloomie’s this weekend.
Any other ideas would be welcome :)
E
Oh boo, you’re right about the AT top.
Did you also try Lord & Taylor and Macy’s? I don’t know if either offers this level of service, but maybe call in advance and see if they can pull items in your size in advance? Maybe a long shot, but it would make a quick stop in much more realistic/less painful! (L&T should have printable coupons, too.)
Alanna of Trebond (formerly 2L NYC)
I think that Bergdorf’s *is* the same company as Neiman Marcus, so they ought to price match, unless they are doing some sort of NY only arbitrage.
I am very partial to the Macy’s in New York — the fourth floor has a lot of good options and might have a black silk option.
There is this Banana Republic top that might work, if you don’t want to trust just browsing the Macy’s: http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=35356&vid=1&pid=833225&scid=833225002
Anonymous Hippopotamus
Anyone have any suggestions for where to find free/low cost CLEs in NYC? I work for a nonprofit with few lawyers so there’s not much of a system in place here. Thanks!
AIMS
There are sometimes free/low cost CLEs available through the local bar associations. For example, NYCLA sometimes does special $25 CLE classes for public sector/non profit attorneys. If you are into legal research, Westlaw, Lexis, and Bloomberg all run free research classes on a weekly or monthly basis. Sometimes courts or public agencies will also run special programs for CLE credit. Law schools, too, sometimes make CLE available for their events such as speaker series, etc. Finally, if you’re an “experienced” attorney (i.e., more than 2 years out), you can also get CLE credit for judging moot court competitions. Fordham, Cardozo, and NYLS all run their own, as does the NYC Bar and NAAC.
AIMS
Oh, I should also mention — you can often get tuition assistance with higher cost CLEs and with bar association dues, as well. Just write a letter saying you work at X non-profit, you can only afford to pay Y amount.
Lydia
Check with your lawschool too. My lawschool sometimes has CLE webinars for about $20-30.
Kanye East
Check the NYSBA website; they usually have some free online offerings. Not enough to fulfill your requirements, but it’s something.
L
Threadjack – blouses. I need one or two fancier blouses to wear under skirt suits for those after-work work-related events. I don’t like to tuck. Any suggestions on where to look for nice (prob silk?) blouses? I usually shop at J crew, BR, etc., but could stretch that price point for something that I will wear a lot.
Thanks!
Legally Brunette
Have you tried Classiques Entier silk blouses at Nordstrom? Do a search on their site. I wear them under suits, and never tuck them. Go to Nordstrom Rack and you can usually find them for $50 or so.
lawtalkinggirl
Here is another high-class problem I wonder if you all can help me with. I am trying to decide whether to spend $1500 on a professional matchmaker. The matchmaker herself is very nice, is certified as a matchmaker, and her business is BBB certified. She said she has more male clients in my age group (30-35) right now than women. My problem is I am just not meeting guys in my day-to-day life. I do not meet them at work, I have tapped out all my friends of friends, I do not belong to any religious groups, and I have already joined a couple of clubs I wrongly thought would be places to meet men (a ski club and a climbing club). I tried Match.com three different times. Are there other things I should try before taking the next step???
Violet
How about free online dating services? I know you tried Match.com, but it doesn’t hurt to first try the free sites such as OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish before you fork over a fortune to the matchmaker.
SF Bay Associate
I did OKC for a time and do not recommend it. It skews much younger, in terms of years of life/mentally/emotionally. I met a lot of late 20s and 30s on OKC that seemed to think they were still 25. For me, OKC ended up being a big waste of time. I recommend eHarmony, which was the impetus for two weddings I have personally attended in the past couple years, as well as several others I am aware of as friends of friends.
But if you truly have the income to spare, as in it cuts only into your discretionary spending, why not go for it? Yes, it’s a fortune, but so long as the matchmaker offers some kind of guarantee (maybe after 3 months if you’re not satisfied, you get 50% back?), then I say go for it. I do wonder about that certification though – who certifies? based on what?
Nonny
I can’t give any advice re a professional matchmaker, but I second SF Bay Associate’s recommendation of eHarmony. I personally have had success with it – the detailed questionnaire system weeds out a large proportion of the duds and in my experience the people on there tend to be more serious about wanting a long-term relationship.
Another Anon
Respectfully disagree about eHarmony, but hey.
I know two people who met long-term relationships via eHarm, but neither is still in the relationship. The site seems (exceptions, I know… ) to fix up awkward men with difficult women for relationships of convenience. (Exceptions, I know.)
My friend married someone from J-Date. You would NOT want her relationship. **shudder**
E
I’m going to go with no. I don’t see a matchmaker as any more likely to succeed than websites, friends and family, etc. – and $1500 just seems like a lot of money. Her client base is almost certianly on the small side given her fee. I’d be willing to bet she’s got under 100 (probably well under) male clients at the moment. She might have tactics for making her “matches” more likely to succeed, particularly in the short run (e.g., subtly coaching each of you on what to do/say on your dates) but I don’t think that’s a golden ticket, especially for a long term relationship.
I’d try other dating sites (e.g., eHarmony) and other activities before laying down this type of cash.
My answer might be different if $1500 is small change for you or if there is some sort of refund option or long-term guarantee from the matchmaker, but really, I wouldn’t be inclined to support it even then.
Another Anon
It sounds like she’s telling you what you want to hear in order to get your $1500.
If there are so many male clients, wouldn’t she need a supply of fresh females in order to keep her business operating? Something seems off.
govvie
I have not gone that route but have tried a dinner-date club for several hundred $, as well as Match, eHarmony and everything under the sun. With Match, I got “approached” by *older* men (yuck) and men looking for a means of support, it appeared. The dinner-date club matched me up with men who were all pleasant enough but seemed not to mesh with me or take interest in chatting. Often, the death knell seemed to be right after I told them where I worked/what I did (military-related). I could almost predict it, where the guy shifted his attention. (Sidebar: This is why many military women are married to military men…it’s not an unusual profession to both. None of my “mil-mil” relationships made it that far, however. But I digress)
Two things I have determined: 1) in taking all of these actions, I was keeping myself in a panicky, desperate mindset, which, let’s face it, just broadcasts itself, and 2) calming down, doing stuff I just want to do- just because- results in a more mellow, friendly mindset. OK, three things: I have also tended to wear my profession as my personality. So, rather than being the Desperate, Target-Rich Activity, I-Am-My-Profession Girl, I am going toward the It’s Cool-Fabulous-This-is-Fun-Interesting-Life-(hopefully) Cute Girl. I also just think of fabulous non-married celebrities around my age like Cameron Diaz and that removes much of the self-pity.
lawtalkinggirl
$1500 is not small change for me, but I can afford to pay it if I put it on my credit card and make a few payments. I was also thinking about asking my parents to contribute, since they have an interest in having grandchildren someday…
I have thought about eHarmony but frankly everything I’ve heard about it gives me the creeps. I have heard they are hostile to non-religious people and basically don’t match atheists. That means I am out of luck on that site. I am also creeped out by the whole brouhaha over not matching gay & lesbian people until they were sued over it. I just feel that eHarmony is not for me. Has it changed? Am I wrong?
The matchmaker guarantees 6 introductions, and also does dating coaching and image coaching. She has been in business 5 years and has been responsible for 43 weddings. I feel my issue is not what happens on dates, it is the fact that I have tapped out all the sources I know of to meet men.
Thanks for the suggestions!
attorney
Most definitely do not put a matchmaker on a credit card!* Try other websites, yes, even eHarmony. You also don’t mention how long you tried Match for, my experience you have to try it for 4-6 months at a time to really find people you might consider dating for a while.
* that you can’t pay in full by the end of the month that is
lawtalkinggirl
I tried Match for 6+ months… met about 12 guys… all nice… none were right for me.
superanonish
I did the same x 3 essentially (Match.com 3 times for 6 months each; met about 20 guys total). Eventually met my husband on another website (a precursor to myspace, now essentially defunct), but he would have never joined Match or tried a matchmaking service.
This is all about numbers. The more guys you meet the more likely one of them will be for you, and to a certain extent the more “duds” you meet, the more you’ll know how to recognize the “right” one. So I say just keep trying the most high volume avenues you can. To me that means online websites and sports leagues (at least in my town), and going on as many dates as possible. I also recommend giving everyone at least 2 dates (as long as you don’t think they’re shady or something, and of course, be safe).
AIMS
I had a friend who had a similarly negative experience with EHarmony (hostile to his non-religious views, etc.). So if it gives you the creeps, valid or not, don’t do it. Go with your gut here.
If a method of meeting people gives you a bad vibe, then maybe the person you are meant to be with is someone with a similarly bad vibe about it, and, thus, wouldn’t be there anyway… Just a thought from my days in marketing — you advertise in the newspapers you hope your prospective clients will read, etc. Ask yourself where the guys you want to date might be. If it’s not on e-harmony, it’s not on e-harmony (no offense to anyone who uses the service, btw! I know it has been/can be great for some people).
As for the matchmaker fee, I would say it depends on what sort of guarantees she gives. 6 people is not a lot. But then again, the other benefits (coaching, etc.) might be worth it. I would ask her what happens if you don’t click with any of your 6 people. Depending on the answer, and assuming you can afford it, I would decide.
govvie
AIMS, you always have a great way of putting things: “you advertise in the newspapers you hope your prospective clients will read.” Continuing the metaphor, you have to know what you are advertising and which prospective clients (in general) you are seeking. And…that’s as metaphorical as I go…
SF Bay Associate
I did eHarmony as a liberal atheist, and thought it was fine. I had lots of matches and met a lot of nice guys (and some not so nice guys). My lack of religion wasn’t an issue because it was no surprise to my matches. The guys who were matched with me were not the attending religious service types.
6 introductions that what? Lead to second dates? Make you run screaming? Her guarantees need more details to be comforting.
lawtalkinggirl
The 6 introductions are 6 people chosen by the matchmaker to go on a blind date with you. After that I am not sure what happens. She said she does not match people with their “best” match right away. She gives you “easy” matches first so you can practice. Also it sounded like the 6 was the minimum. Honestly I feel that the guy I am looking for is not on any online dating site or in a matchmaker’s database. I just don’t know where else to go and I keep thinking there is something wrong with me that none of my friends are willing to tell me. :-(
Two cents
Do you have a good friend who would be very blunt with you if you asked them how you could be more approachable/dateable? I have a friend who is nearly 40 years old and single. She has a very odd quirk about her that may turns guys off (she giggles after almost everything she says – it’s very odd). I have tried to gently advise her about something else and she got defensive, so I just dropped the topic.
Not saying that there is anything wrong with you, but it’s worth just getting a blunt opinion from a good friend.
In addition to the single friend whom I mentioned above, I know others who talk entirely too much about themselves, women who always seem depressed or are complaining, or else have some sort of physical trait that can easily be corrected/improved (ie: bad skin, yellow teeth, etc.). I sometimes wish I could pull them aside and point it out, because I’m sure that it affects their dating life.
govvie
Two cents, everyone should have a friend like you. I have tried to ask friends for an honest appraisal, and although I’m aware of several social/behavior factors now, at least one person (well meaning), told me she saw nothing wrong but I’d make a great, classy, fun single older lady. OK….
lawtalkinggirl
I’ve asked several friends (both male and female) for their opinions and so far nobody has come up with anything I could change. Mostly what the guys say is that I am exotic looking, poised, and smart, and therefore terrifying. Unfortunately I cannot change my looks and I can’t really help standing up straight or being smart. I make an effort to be cheerful and easygoing when meeting people though.
Jr. Prof
This is weird – why wouldn’t she introduce you to the most likely matches *first* so that you could be on your way to happily ever after as soon as possible? I’m with others in thinking that this sounds a bit sketchy, esp. given the amount of money involved.
Agree that eHarmony might not be the place to meet people if it sketches you out. I used it for about 6 mos. awhile back, and ended up feeling like I was at a party where there was no one interesting to me – that is, lively party, but just not the right fit.
You mentioned joining skiing and climbing groups… I wonder if this could be part of the problem. (I’m a climber myself, so not talking smack, just being realistic here.) Skiiers, and even more climbers!, are notoriously commitment phobic, Peter Pan types. A few years ago, when I decided that it was time to get serious about finding a long term relationship, a non-climber friend made me promise to swear off dating climbers. They are great for a good time and some good adventures, but seem limited in their ability to commit (broad brush, I know). The climber-guys I know who are married nearly all married non-climbers, and/or cut back significantly on their climbing. Maybe a pool of athletes/ outdoorsy people slightly less devoted to their sport would yield better results.
lawtalkinggirl
She explained that she wants to get people comfortable with blind dates first before setting them up with their “best” match. Sometimes people make bad impressions and she wants to be able to coach people out of dating mistakes. That is my understanding of the process.
I see what you are saying about skiers and climbers. I am not looking for a hardcore climber type, but I am looking for someone who plays outside in all seasons. The AAC looks down its nose at the climbing club I joined for not being tough enough. I shouldn’t have been surprised when my club turned out to be mostly men who also belong to the AARP! Nice guys, but a little too old and a little too married for me.
Anon
You can meet men at softball games, if you live in NYC, go to Central Park after work. I met a nice guy there last summer and we dated for 3 months. I did not see it going anywhere, so that was it. I am going back this summer, because there were other guys there that were date-worthy. You should, too, if you like sports.
lawtalkinggirl
I live about as far away from NYC as you can and still be in the 49 continental states… ;-) Softball is a good idea though.
KC
If you’re in San Diego, I recommend beach volleyball. My cousin met his wife at a league that was geared to people from out of state (where the aim was meeting new friends as well as potential dates).
In-House Mouse
Does anyone have a recommendation for a good sunhat for wearing to/from the office, for example at lunchtime? I would like to protect my face from the mid-day summer sun (in addition to wearing sunblock), but am trying to avoid the suit + (floppy beach hat, safari hat, straw cowboy hat, baseball cap or visor) look. Does a suit-friendly hat even exist? I’m OK with a smaller brim for this one. Thanks!
AIMS
What about a nice fabric fedora?
http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=519782&PseudoCat=se-xx-xx-xx.esn_results
Or a simple panama hat (straw, I know, but cute and polished, I think):
http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=523134&PseudoCat=se-xx-xx-xx.esn_results
C.
I pretty unabashedly wear a wide-brimmed vintage straw hat to and from work in the summer. It is straw, but it’s quite structured–not floppy at all–and it has black trim around the brim and a black ribbon (but not a bow). I’ve gotten several compliments on it–people think it’s very Mad Men–and it does sort of make everything look polished and intentional.